Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jul 3, 2021 15:46:28 GMT -5
*The door to the locker room busts open with a thwack. In walks the business partners of Primal, in a tie-dyed tie made of his own hair, and his loincloth … nothing else … and Buttons the War Corgi … also in a business suit. Around Primal’s waist is his Imperial Crown tag title. Around Buttons’s collar is his gold foil candy wrapper title. Primal storms into the room and hands Roxy a tray. He then slaps it out of her hand.*
Primal: "WHAT IS THIS? Have you both lost your minds? We have to put up a respectable business front if we are to keep growing our sales and aligning an army of anti-society zombie minions to do our bidding!"
Roxy: "Um … ok I’m lost on this one."
Primal: "I saw the reports that came out. Seeing dragons, doing speed … DISGRACEFUL!"
Buttons: "BORK BORFBARK!"
Timeless: "… Ok buddy, I know reading isn’t something you like to do… but you CAN do it. … You uh … can do it?"
Primal: "Of course! I taught college courses! Needy little woke bastards. Forcing me to be ‘clean shaven’ and ‘take off my mask’ IT’S MY FACE YOU FACISTS! Hmm … I’m glad I’m speaking, in text that would look like fascists when I’m trying to claim they discriminated against my face."
*Roxy just blinks at him and adjusts her top. The camera man zooms in to catch every wiggle until she scowls at him and he spins back to catch Primal adjusting his tie, and he catches every jiggle and wiggle. We hear the camera man vomit on the floor.*
Timeless: "That carpet cleaning is coming out of your pay, peon. Ok look, Primal, that wasn’t a news report about us you read. That was the card. We are defending our titles."
Primal: "Against … drugs? Dragons? LIZARDS! JESSE AND HIS SON! Oh this will be a fight to remem-"
Timeless: "No- no Primal no."
*Alex puts his hands to the chest of Primal and stops him. Buttons looks confused*
Buttons: "Woof?"
*Alex snaps and points to the dog*
Timeless: "See he gets it. The team we’re facing is called the Speed Dragons."
*Primal looks disappointed.*
Primal: "But that’s so stupid. What are they, nerds? Do they play D&D or pokemon in their spare time? Ugh where is the real challenges?"
*Primal throws his hands in the air. Some hair flies off and forms itself into a charm (like for a bracelet) that looks like Buttons. Roxy catches it and shrugs, stuffing it down her shirt to use later.*
Timeless: "Do you know who they are?"
Primal: "BAH! Nobody does! And does it even matter? When the time comes to step into the ring with us, they will falter and flake like everyone else. Nobody can stand up to our onslaught. I will suffocate them with my offense. You will blister them with your power. And before you can even tell them to chase the magic dragon, we’ll be sending them home in body bags."
*Primal amps up and looks into the camera*
Primal: "Marcus the White Light and Black Leopard … you made a mistake. A big mistake. You may have come into this place on a show where another group laid claim to NPW’s future. But what you didn’t realize is that the present and future of NPW are not theirs to command. NPW is Prime Time Town. Prime Real Estate. That is to say, the alpha males around here, no no – the ALPHA WRESTLERS … THE ALPHA MONSTERS … THE SEX MACHINES-"
Roxy: "Let’s not push it hairball…"
Primal: "Yes fine. The best team in the XHF sits at the throne of Canada’s finest. A couple of scrawny cruiserweights from some outside network hovel are never going to be on our level. You are looking at a man who dominated SWAT and a man who put fear into the top names in the XHF. You are looking at perfection. And unlike some of the weak fools around here, we are not in the business of taking it easy. After all, rule one is survival of the fittest. And in this NPW Jungle, the Beast of the North and the King of Schwing-"
Timeless: "That will never be a thing-"
Primal: "are the top of the damn food chain. You two aren’t even fit to munch on our table scraps. "
*Primal laughs as he turns back to his crew*
Primal: "I’ve found a reason to care. And frankly that is bad news for anyone who wants to hold this gold. Because we will not relinquish it easily. And frankly. Neither of you are an enough to take them from us."
Primal: "WHAT IS THIS? Have you both lost your minds? We have to put up a respectable business front if we are to keep growing our sales and aligning an army of anti-society zombie minions to do our bidding!"
Roxy: "Um … ok I’m lost on this one."
Primal: "I saw the reports that came out. Seeing dragons, doing speed … DISGRACEFUL!"
Buttons: "BORK BORFBARK!"
Timeless: "… Ok buddy, I know reading isn’t something you like to do… but you CAN do it. … You uh … can do it?"
Primal: "Of course! I taught college courses! Needy little woke bastards. Forcing me to be ‘clean shaven’ and ‘take off my mask’ IT’S MY FACE YOU FACISTS! Hmm … I’m glad I’m speaking, in text that would look like fascists when I’m trying to claim they discriminated against my face."
*Roxy just blinks at him and adjusts her top. The camera man zooms in to catch every wiggle until she scowls at him and he spins back to catch Primal adjusting his tie, and he catches every jiggle and wiggle. We hear the camera man vomit on the floor.*
Timeless: "That carpet cleaning is coming out of your pay, peon. Ok look, Primal, that wasn’t a news report about us you read. That was the card. We are defending our titles."
Primal: "Against … drugs? Dragons? LIZARDS! JESSE AND HIS SON! Oh this will be a fight to remem-"
Timeless: "No- no Primal no."
*Alex puts his hands to the chest of Primal and stops him. Buttons looks confused*
Buttons: "Woof?"
*Alex snaps and points to the dog*
Timeless: "See he gets it. The team we’re facing is called the Speed Dragons."
*Primal looks disappointed.*
Primal: "But that’s so stupid. What are they, nerds? Do they play D&D or pokemon in their spare time? Ugh where is the real challenges?"
*Primal throws his hands in the air. Some hair flies off and forms itself into a charm (like for a bracelet) that looks like Buttons. Roxy catches it and shrugs, stuffing it down her shirt to use later.*
Timeless: "Do you know who they are?"
Primal: "BAH! Nobody does! And does it even matter? When the time comes to step into the ring with us, they will falter and flake like everyone else. Nobody can stand up to our onslaught. I will suffocate them with my offense. You will blister them with your power. And before you can even tell them to chase the magic dragon, we’ll be sending them home in body bags."
*Primal amps up and looks into the camera*
Primal: "Marcus the White Light and Black Leopard … you made a mistake. A big mistake. You may have come into this place on a show where another group laid claim to NPW’s future. But what you didn’t realize is that the present and future of NPW are not theirs to command. NPW is Prime Time Town. Prime Real Estate. That is to say, the alpha males around here, no no – the ALPHA WRESTLERS … THE ALPHA MONSTERS … THE SEX MACHINES-"
Roxy: "Let’s not push it hairball…"
Primal: "Yes fine. The best team in the XHF sits at the throne of Canada’s finest. A couple of scrawny cruiserweights from some outside network hovel are never going to be on our level. You are looking at a man who dominated SWAT and a man who put fear into the top names in the XHF. You are looking at perfection. And unlike some of the weak fools around here, we are not in the business of taking it easy. After all, rule one is survival of the fittest. And in this NPW Jungle, the Beast of the North and the King of Schwing-"
Timeless: "That will never be a thing-"
Primal: "are the top of the damn food chain. You two aren’t even fit to munch on our table scraps. "
*Primal laughs as he turns back to his crew*
Primal: "I’ve found a reason to care. And frankly that is bad news for anyone who wants to hold this gold. Because we will not relinquish it easily. And frankly. Neither of you are an enough to take them from us."
