Post by Mongo the Destroyer on May 26, 2017 8:36:43 GMT -5
*The camera opens as we see Nelly Angel watching…us? No, it’s probably TV and the camera just happens to be next to the TV. He’s eating popcorn rockin’ lazy day shorts and a basketball-style shirt. Soon Randy Angel comes into the room holding a piece of paper.*
Randy: Nelly! I was searching the deep web and look what I found!
*Randy hands his brother the paper, it’s a flyer advertising some filming of man-to-man sports.*
Nelly: Is that Copycat in the main event? Also, why were searching the deep web?
Randy: One, I have no idea who you’re talking about and two, I was looking online for people talking about you…but you have zero buzz. Therefore I decided to dig deeper.
Nelly: Did you find anything?
Randy: A few very flattering photoshops of you but not much else. Anyway, what do you think?
Nelly: About what?
Randy: About watching some live wrestling before your match at Showcase; y’know, to get warmed up and get your head back in the game!
*Nelly looks at the flyer, holds it sideways and thinks.*
Nelly: I dunno man, it doesn’t look very reputable.
Randy: Of course not, it’s the indies!
Nelly: That’s a good point. Sure, why not?
Randy: Sweet! We’ll check it out and it’ll be great and we won’t have to see anything awful or nightmare-inducing!
*There’s an awkward pause*
Nelly: Tha- that was a rather ominous mouthful.
Randy: Whatever Nell, I’m half in the bag already. So it’s on, this weekend we get to see some live wrestling and not something that’ll horribly scar us for life!
Nelly: Uhhhh…yeah, sounds….great
*Randy takes a shot out of nowhere (apparently one was just sitting off camera) as Nelly returns to watching TV.*
Randy: Wooooo! Are you ready for some footbaaaaaaall!?
Nelly: Wrestling.
Randy: Shut up, Nell, don’t ruin the moment.
*Quick cut away and then into a slow fade in a medieval tavern. Behind the bar stands Gold-Borg, majestically drying clay cups with his wings unfurled. In front of him, barely able to keep her head up is what appears to be Oscar winning actress and legend Meryl Streep in full Renaissance dress. Even totally soused, she remains in character.*
Streep: Thou thinkst thou hast troubles? Some scoundrel by the name of Terrance sent me a rather threatening letter. Here I be, trying to learneth a new role and I have to deal with some villain trying to terrorize me! Said doth he, “I will ravageth you and your kin for ten years of our Lord upon ten years of our Lord” -for several paragraphs at that!
Gold-Borg: That’s pretty bad.
Streep: What’s be-th worst thing that’s happened to thee recently?
Gold-Borg: Besides being put into an electrically-induced coma and taken to a place with no WiFi? Well…
*He rubs his gold-armored chin/beard thing*
Gold-Borg: Recently some creepy guy offered me a starring role in a combat-based erotic film- apparently I appeal to some sort of fetish.
*Literally the most famous actress in the world, Meryl Streep, silently looks upon the gold-plated wonder from the Afterward that is Gold-Borg. After a moment she lets out a laugh that only a completely drunk Meryl Streep can- it sounds kind of like Mrs. Krabappel’s laugh.*
Streep: HA!
*She stars rubbing her eyes, bleary from drink as the world slowly comes into sensual focus.*
Streep: Though- let it be said that whence thine eyes gazeth upon thee, mighty golden warrior, thou is filled with both terror and perhaps the sin of lust. Thou giveth thee the feeling of Michael Clark Duncan.
Gold-Borg: Thank you?
Streep: So…can thou giveth thee the feeling of Michael Clark Duncan?
*Meryl Streep; the greatest actress alive, multiple time Academy Award winner and star of countless major films; gives Gold-Borg a very long, very drunk, very slow wink.*
Gold-Borg: Urhhh, you just said that I- ohhhhhhhhhhhh.
Randy: Nelly! I was searching the deep web and look what I found!
*Randy hands his brother the paper, it’s a flyer advertising some filming of man-to-man sports.*
Nelly: Is that Copycat in the main event? Also, why were searching the deep web?
Randy: One, I have no idea who you’re talking about and two, I was looking online for people talking about you…but you have zero buzz. Therefore I decided to dig deeper.
Nelly: Did you find anything?
Randy: A few very flattering photoshops of you but not much else. Anyway, what do you think?
Nelly: About what?
Randy: About watching some live wrestling before your match at Showcase; y’know, to get warmed up and get your head back in the game!
*Nelly looks at the flyer, holds it sideways and thinks.*
Nelly: I dunno man, it doesn’t look very reputable.
Randy: Of course not, it’s the indies!
Nelly: That’s a good point. Sure, why not?
Randy: Sweet! We’ll check it out and it’ll be great and we won’t have to see anything awful or nightmare-inducing!
*There’s an awkward pause*
Nelly: Tha- that was a rather ominous mouthful.
Randy: Whatever Nell, I’m half in the bag already. So it’s on, this weekend we get to see some live wrestling and not something that’ll horribly scar us for life!
Nelly: Uhhhh…yeah, sounds….great
*Randy takes a shot out of nowhere (apparently one was just sitting off camera) as Nelly returns to watching TV.*
Randy: Wooooo! Are you ready for some footbaaaaaaall!?
Nelly: Wrestling.
Randy: Shut up, Nell, don’t ruin the moment.
*Quick cut away and then into a slow fade in a medieval tavern. Behind the bar stands Gold-Borg, majestically drying clay cups with his wings unfurled. In front of him, barely able to keep her head up is what appears to be Oscar winning actress and legend Meryl Streep in full Renaissance dress. Even totally soused, she remains in character.*
Streep: Thou thinkst thou hast troubles? Some scoundrel by the name of Terrance sent me a rather threatening letter. Here I be, trying to learneth a new role and I have to deal with some villain trying to terrorize me! Said doth he, “I will ravageth you and your kin for ten years of our Lord upon ten years of our Lord” -for several paragraphs at that!
Gold-Borg: That’s pretty bad.
Streep: What’s be-th worst thing that’s happened to thee recently?
Gold-Borg: Besides being put into an electrically-induced coma and taken to a place with no WiFi? Well…
*He rubs his gold-armored chin/beard thing*
Gold-Borg: Recently some creepy guy offered me a starring role in a combat-based erotic film- apparently I appeal to some sort of fetish.
*Literally the most famous actress in the world, Meryl Streep, silently looks upon the gold-plated wonder from the Afterward that is Gold-Borg. After a moment she lets out a laugh that only a completely drunk Meryl Streep can- it sounds kind of like Mrs. Krabappel’s laugh.*
Streep: HA!
*She stars rubbing her eyes, bleary from drink as the world slowly comes into sensual focus.*
Streep: Though- let it be said that whence thine eyes gazeth upon thee, mighty golden warrior, thou is filled with both terror and perhaps the sin of lust. Thou giveth thee the feeling of Michael Clark Duncan.
Gold-Borg: Thank you?
Streep: So…can thou giveth thee the feeling of Michael Clark Duncan?
*Meryl Streep; the greatest actress alive, multiple time Academy Award winner and star of countless major films; gives Gold-Borg a very long, very drunk, very slow wink.*
Gold-Borg: Urhhh, you just said that I- ohhhhhhhhhhhh.
