Silicone Cup RACE - July 2021
Jul 18, 2021 13:44:38 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 1 more like this
Post by h2f on Jul 18, 2021 13:44:38 GMT -5
JULY 2021 SILICONE CUP
TERMINAL VELOCITY
TERMINAL VELOCITY
In the idyllic mountains of North Carolina, not to be confused with the disappointing mountains of South Carolina, there is a mountain that stands out against the rise and fall of the blue ridge. It’s made of the same stuff and contains the same stuff as those around it but something about its shape seems to attract the eye of those who like to anthropomorphize.
Grandfather mountain is known for its steep, twisty roads, those sheer cliff faces that remind the limies of their home, and The Bear. Just earlier this month, The Bear occurred. Humans, on two legs, race 5 miles (8 km) and the last 2 miles (3.2 km) horizontally, also travel vertically 1000 feet (~305m). It is a grueling race that tests the limits of the human body. Unlike today’s race. The reverse bear! (not a sexual position.)
Race crews will start at the top of Grandfather mountain and make their way down. Naturally, there are a few ways down the mountain and the most direct, where crew members would experience terminal velocity for a short time, is not advised.
Grandma Mary: Welcome one and all to the second Silicone Cup Race!!
Uncle: If you recall, the last Silicone Cup was a real drag. Race. Ha ha; get it? The crew had to drag a statue so they were draggin’. He he.
Grandma Mary: Yes, dear. This Silicone Cup will also be a different type of race from our standard humdrum race. Each crew will complete the course one at a time and the crew with the lowest time will win!
Uncle: To make things even more interesting, each crew has set up extra cameras and microphones in their vehicles and amongst their crew. We will really be in the middle of the action with this one.
Grandma Mary: Let’s get goin’ with the first crew!
Uncle: Introducing first, the one and only Angry Mad Chemists!
The crowd goes wild as they anticipate the race to come. The Silicone Cup this year is a time trial, and the Angry Mad Chemists are out to claim their second specialty title in CAR. The Chemistruckinator approaches the starting line at the top of the mountain. In the driver seat is young evil scientist and horrible driver, William Lastname. Billy grips the steering wheel in what would surely be white knuckle grip, if, of course, his hands weren’t hidden by his trademark black lab gloves. He puts down his evil goggles and revs the engine. The radio buzzes to life. From the pit area at the base of the mountain we see the other two members of the team sitting with all kinds of diagnostic equipment. The mechanic, Ovi Kintobor, looks at a readout being spit out by his multitude of robots.
Ovi: All systems are go, Billy. The car hasn’t ever given us readouts this smooth before. It is ready.
The chaotician, geneticist, weapons expert speaks up next. Dr. Ian Brundle shifts his glasses down his nose and looks at the engine readings.
Ian: No doubt due, heh, to the lack of interference from um, our, um, benefactor. The engine is, um, ready, uh, for firing. The chemical engine should run, um, hehe, like a dream!
Billy: It’s amazing how much science we can get done relying only on our expertise and tech isn’t it? Doof will surely be back, but for now let’s enjoy the freedom this has given us.
Grandma Mary: Are they going to start anytime soon?
Uncle: Give them a moment, give them a moment. Look here comes their new costumed spectator groupie.
Grandma Mary: Furry, all the teams have them. They're all the rage.
A wingaling dragon with a beefy arm coming out of the back of his neck flies overhead. He lets out a burst of fire and a screech as the starting horn sounds.
Billy: Remind me UMPH!
He jams the pedal down and crushes the throttle to max speed
Billy: when we get home, to see what is wrong with the eldritch dragon horror.
Ovi: He hasn’t been acting his usual self lately. Like he is of two minds.
Ian: I suspect, um, without Doof here, to act as a conduit for um, the power of the Old Ones … Phroooaggh is losing control of the Burninator’s body!
Billy: TOPICS FOR ANOTHER DAY!
The chemistruckinator rips down the opening straight and the first few curves at breakneck pace. The engine purrs with chemical glory. The majesty is not lost on the announcers.
Grandma Mary: Such Majesty! Much Speed!
Dr. Chaos: DON'T SAY THAT NAME!!
Uncle: What?
Grandma Mary: It’s a Meme. Thing. All the cool kids do it.
Uncle: I meant Dr. Chaos, our medical expert. But boy. Kids these days. You aren’t even a kid. Look! There’s the first turn.
As Billy rips towards the first obstacle he prepares to gun it … when he sees over the cliff. His foot instinctively slams the brake and his goggles fly up onto the top of his head. He breathes heavily.
Uncle: Safety over expediency. A bold move for the first contestants.
Grandma Mary: Interesting choice. Let’s see how it works for them?
Ovi: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GO OVER! WHAT IS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN!?
Billy: I could lose a wheel! Or a leg! Or the suspension! I HATE HEIGHTS!
Ian: The vehicle has redundancies in every position. A wheel would not adversely affect the performance!
Billy: SCREW YOU LOOK HOW HIGH I AM!
Ian: I wish I was high …
Billy torques the wheel to the side and barrels around the very sharp curve. The size of the chemistruckinator causes it to scrape against the mountain side as Billy gains speed via throttle and gravity. He aims the corrosion cannons at the mountain and fires a volley of shots that immediately eats away the wall just enough to allow the car to stop scraping itself. However the rocks become unstable and litter the course behind him as they crumble into the holes the corrosion has made.
Ian: I fear the travel bureau and the CAR and XHF executives will have something, um, to um, say about damaging a national landmark.
Ovi: FUCK MONGO! We didn’t kill anyone so we are still within the rules. Silly as rules may be.
Billy: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Billy now is fully on board with this roller coaster ride around the mountain and squeals with a childlike glee. It’d be heartwarming if it wasn’t also so evil and horrible. Either way the indoctrinator is off so the fans seem to be enjoying it, but the CAR team seems to be apathetic to his fun.
Billy: Approaching the bottom of the mountain! Riverbed straightaway!
Grandma Mary:Billy guns the chemical engine into overdrive. The rocks and shrapnel being kicked up by the heavy truck rumbling over the silt and sediment glances off the vehicle’s ablative armor without even a minor scratch.
Uncle: With no enemies to worry about, Billy is really showing the speed he can coax out of the science machine.
Billy: N-n-n-ot-t-t the sm-m-oo-oo-oo-th-est-t-t of rii-iii-iii-des!
Billy’s words show off every bump and rumble. The chemistruckinator seems to fly down the river bed with uncharacteristic ease. It’s about this time that Ian and Ovi perk up and …
Ovi: REDUCE YOUR SPEED YOU FOOL!
Ian: The shocks and uh … your tender sensibilities, hehe, haha, um … won’t like the added speed and height of the um … advanced bunny hop!
Billy: Say what now?
Billy pulls his goggles down and sees the jump ahead and realizes this truck is not meant to hit that … with crazy, ludicrous speeds. The world slows down for our intrepid driver as he quickly uses his evil, horrible super-genius to formulate a plan. He throttles up and aims his indoctrinator … at his own cockpit! As he hits the jump he hits both the red button and green button in the truck. An orbital blast of D.O.O.F. FLOOF® fires down and litters the ground where the truck is going to land. Some of it coating the front grill and undercarriage around the front wheels.
Grandma Mary: Really? REALLY!?! They don’t even have an opponent and they still use the floof!
Meanwhile the indoctrinator blasts Billy with full power and his butt inflates to gargantuan airbag size!
Uncle: You really can’t stay mad at them though.
Billy: WOW! I HAVE A WONDERFUL MASSIVE BADONKADONK! THESE CHEMISTS SURE ARE THE BEST!
Ovi: It’d be brilliant if that wasn’t so hilarious …
The chemistruckinator hits the ground with a soft ploof as the floof from the distance oriented orbital fluffinator completely cushions the blow with minimal speed loss. The car spins out ever so slightly.
Grandma Mary: Billy is unharmed and locked in place in his seat due to his massive padding on his junky trunk.
He turns off the indoctrinator as his butt slowly deflates with a PFFFFT sound.
Ian: YEE HAW! It worked!
Billy: I’M A GENIUS! What’s that?
Sure enough as the car pushes a massive storm of floof in front of it and carries it in its wake, it moves to the finish line where a man in a black lab coat stands. He looks like has been walking for a long ass time. His suit is dirty, his shoes are falling apart, he is panting. He hoists a megaphone!
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: HOLD IT RIGHT HERE! I AM HEREBY CANCELLING THIS RACE! YOU HEAR ME! I DID NOT APPROVE OR SIGN UP MY TEAM! HOW DARE YOU ALL HOLD A RACE WITHOUT ME!? I DEMAND THE ESOTERIC ORDER OF DRIVING BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE TRAGEDY I HAVE WITNESSED! … *to himself* and slightly caused … *loud again* EVERYONE CAN GO HOME! THE RULER OF THE TRI-STATE AREA DOCTOR HEINZ DOOFENSHMIRTZ HAS DECREED THAT – hey what’s that coming … YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
The chemistruckinator barrels over the finish line and the wheels smoke as the brakes are all hit. The car slows and Doof is covered in a mountain of floof. The car skids to a halt right near where he was. A single hand emerges from the floof mountain JUST in front of the car.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I’m alright! I wet myself! I’m going home!
Doof makes a hand symbol and teleports away.
Ovi: Did … did he WALK all the way from Boston to North Carolina?
Billy: Did he forget how to use his powers? Or ask for a ride?
Ian: Did we, uh, win?
The dragon screeches overhead and zips away with speed back towards the tri-state area. The Angry Mad Chemists are left standing by the car stunned.
Uncle: We would like to take a moment and note that the race is NOT canceled. Thank you.
Grandma Mary: A strong start to today’s events though! Really strong start! Look at this time.
Uncle: That is a very good time.
Grandma Mary: When the girls did a practice run it was way longer.
Uncle: Yes, and they obeyed all safety instructions. Abby didn’t even go over the speed limit. I think we are going to be seeing better times across the board. The road conditions are great and only getting better! And here comes our next crew!
It is a bright and sunny day at Grandfather Mountain, the summertime beauty only marred by the ocular blasphemy that is the Car That Should Not Be taking its place at the starting line. A short distance away, Dr Dilbert East and Bob The Immortal (Because He Is A Book) survey the scene.
Delbert: Well, Armibishi and The Car are ready. Let's hope that this plan of yours works, Bob.
Bob: Of course it will work Dilbert, you meatsack as irrelevant as that remake of Castle Freak someone made last year!
Bob wafts some pages to his left, where stands a ten foot tall cone-shaped being with limbs jutting out, ending in claws, fleshy trumpets, or three blazing red eyes.
Bob: Our resident Yithian has mindswapped with someone who is an expert on Terminal Velocity. By following his directions, there's no way we can lose!
Dilbert looks skeptical, but before he can say anything the walkie talkie clipped to his lab coat crackles to life and the voice of Armbishi can be heard.
Armbishi: UwU to Doctor! I repeat, UwU to Doctor! We're ready to go! That candy the nice buttplug man had me put up my nose has made me all tingly!
Dilbert sighs and responds.
Delbert: For the last time Armbishi, he's not a buttplug!
Armbishi: Well not with that attitude!
Delbert: ...Just get ready for the green light.
Grandma Mary: Here we go, here we go!
Uncle: Wait for it.
Dilbert waves a flag over at another outpost, whereupon the red lights at the starting line blink once, twice, thrice... then turn green! The Car That Should Not Be speeds away, showing greater thrust than ever before.
Grandma Mary: And they are off to a strong start!
Uncle: They are really pushing for sure.
Bob: Aha! The endangered feline vitae infusion the advisor had us give The Car is working a treat!
With that speed, The Car fast approaches the tight bend. It shows no sign of slowing down.
Armbishi: Um, honey, love, booboo bear, I'm not sure going over is a good i...
Grandma Mary: Are they going to?
Uncle: It sure looks like it.
Heedless, The Car shoots straight over the edge, not even bothering to engage the Baby Byakhee wings to slow its descent. It hits the ground hard, but keeps right on rolling, even though one of its wheels flies off, spraying black ichor everywhere! Tentacles shoot out, frantically flolloping to compensate.
Delbert: By the Elder Gods!
Bob: Worry not, I'll have the shoggoths retrieve the wheel before those damned Delta Green oafs steal it.
Still going fast, The Car approaches the dry river bed. Its weirdly phallic gun ports aim forward and blast Eldritch Shot after Eldritch Shot at it, clearing away the worst of the rubble.
Bob: Yes! Spraying its seed into the valley, just as our advisor advised!
Grandma Mary: Look at that! Lost a wheel and still going strong!
Uncle: But will that lost wheel hold them back on the river bed?
While it's still no smooth ride, the course is clearer than it would have been, allowing the wounded Car to maintain a fast pace. Once clear, it's a straight sprint to the finish, approaching the final jump.
Armbishi: Steady... steady...
Lined up perfectly, The Car blasts up the ramp, soaring through the air, then starting to plunge to the ground.
Delbert: It's too fast! You've got to deploy the wings!
Bob: No! Not yet! Wait for it...
The Car starts to nose dive, gravity bringing it down faster and faster. Just as it reaches Terminal Velocity (Boom! Title drop!) the Baby Byakhee wings engage, pulling its front up enough for a hard but survivable landing. The checkered flag waves, and Armbishi climbs out, hugging his vehicular baby mama and kissing her booboo. Meanwhile, at the team camp…
Delbert: Well, I hate to admit it Bob, but your plan worked perfectly.
Bob: Of course it did! But don't thank me, thank our advisor! Sir, do you have any comment on the success of your strategy?
The mindswapped Yithian clacks its claws excitedly.
Delbert: What did he say?
Bob: "WINNING!!!
Grandma Mary: And time! A really great time.
Uncle: Yes! Look, only a few seconds separates the two and we still have two more crews.
Grandma Mary: It will be a close event for sure! And now that we are halfway through the race, let us take a moment to appreciate our new and improved Silicone Cup!
Uncle: That’s right folks! We didn’t just spraypaint female enhancements gold, we went to a professional.
Grandma Mary: we went to a professional before but with a spray painted female enhancement.
Uncle: This time, it looks professional! And we have our next crew competing for it driving in now!
We find our hero David Hightower sitting in The Recycler with his face in his palms shaking his head.
David: Mary mother of mercy what have I gotten lasso'd into...
He muttered as Old Man Hightower and Boomer come over to the truck.
Old Man Hightower: Check it out boy! I got us a map here!
Old Man Hightower handed the map to David who looked at it with a blank stare.
Grandma Mary: Looks like the crew is discussing last minute plans.
Uncle: I’m so glad we have extra radio lines to hear all the back and forth between everyone. And that we can turn that down if we need to.
David groaned as he drove the truck to the starting line.
David: Welp... If I have to do this...
He pressed the button to this CD Player....
CD Player: I'M TRAVELIN DOWN THE ROAD AND I'M FLIRTIN WITH DISASTER!!!!!
3...
2...
1...
And the trial began as the mammoth of a truck rolled off... With wreckless abandon David turned the wheel and seen the curve coming...
David: Boomer.... I swear if this doesn't work....
Not even trying to turn the truck full speed freight trains off the cliff.....
Uncle: They are getting close to that edge.
Boomer: NOW HIGHTOWER! HIT IT!!!!!!
David hits the red button.....
*BOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!*
The entire back of the truck roars into an explosive engine as the truck propelled itself through the course.......
Boomer: WOOOOOO!!!!! YEAH LOOK AT THAT PUPPY GO!!!!!!
Old Man Hightower: Hell yeah! We're goin to set that record!
The Truck flew through the air flipping and turning and spinning before it took off out of site.....
Grandma Mary: OK. High Tower has cleared the first obstacle and I think they lost a wheel.
Uncle: Well I don’t see them now, so I can’t confirm. Where’d they go?
Old Man Hightower: Uh Boomer.....
Boomer: Crap...... Uhhhh hold on.....
Boomer banged on his old truckdriver radio.
Boomer: HIGHTOWER WHERE THE HELL ARE YA! YA LEFT THE COURSE!!!!
David: GET ME OUTTA THIS STUPID THING I CAN'T CONTROL IT!!!!!!!!
Boomer: Craaaaaaaaaap!!!!!!
Grandma Mary: Right. So, High Tower is on the course but we can’t see them right now.
Uncle: Did they turn invisible? How do we determine when they cross the finish line when we can’t see them?
Grandma Mary: Let’s give them another minute.
Uncle: For what?
Somewhere in Lancaster Pennsylvania....
Brother Eli and Brother Jebidiah stand admiring the work they done putting up the new barn.
Brother Eli: Ahhhh my Brother! Another fine job done! Let us eat so we can go put our harvest into storage!
Brother Jebidiah: Sounds like a plan!
Suddenly Flirtin With Disaster by Molly Hatchet is heard as David's Truck sails through the air and plows through the barn sending wood and debris everywhere.
Brother Eli: What in the....
Brother Jebidiah: It's a sign..... Could it be?
Back in the announcers booth.
Uncle: I still don’t see them.
Grandma Mary: Well. Should we start the next team?
Uncle: Do you want to give them another minute?
THIS IS A NEWS BULLETIN!!!!!!!!
The news broadcast appears on screen as Meagan Rayburn appears at her desk.
Meagan: And tonight's main news story does Mongo indeed wear panties? However first we have a news exclusive! Bizarre activity is happening as an out of control flying garbage truck has been spotted in several locations! We spoke with some people in Colorado...
The screen turns to some hippies clearly baked out of their minds.
Hippie 1: Yeah man we were sitting out here looking at the stars contemplating what this world would be like if there was like no violence...
Hippie 2: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh Far out....... Then there was like this flying purple elephant man!
Hippie 3: Yeaaaaahhhhhhh then it was ran over by a flying garbage truck!!!!! It smelled and was playing this awful music man!!!!
The camera turns back to Meagan again.
Meagan: Local military is aware of the vehicle however they have no idea what to think of it.... Everyone seems to be strangely fascinated by the flying dust bin vehicle!
The screen changes to a farmer in the middle of a cow pasture.
Farmer: I KNOW IT WAS A UFO!!!! THEY KEEP STEALIN MY COWS!!!!! I THROWN A PITCHFORK AT THAT SUMBITCH! NOT TODAY ALIENS! NOT TODAY!
Meagan: We'll keep you updated as we get more news on the renegade garbage truck!
The screen turns to Boomer going ballistic in the radio.
Boomer: HIGHTOWER!!!!!! WHERE ARE YA!!!!!! HIGHTOWER!!!!!!
David: IF I KNEW THE ANSWER TO THAT I'D TELL YA! I THINK I JUST PASSED THE NORTH POLE!!!!
The screen changed to an image of Earth showing the truck flying circles around and around and around in all directions running loops over the entire planet.
Grandma Mary: It seems they are slightly off course.
Uncle: A bit more than slightly. Hopefully they can make it back to cross that finish line.
Old Man Hightower: Boomer how much juice does that there engine have?!
Boomer: Uhhhhhh..... See that's the thing this is high tech stuff......
Old Man Hightower: Boomer....
Boomer cringed a little.
Boomer: Could be as long as 3 weeks to maybe an hour......
Old Man Hightower: Oh fer cryin out loud! I better not need to have to buy a new truck!
Boomer: I mean there is David too...
Old Man Hightower: To hell with him! I don't give a rat's hind end about what happens to him! He's a failure anyway! I can adopt another brat from the local orphanage and try again! The truck though I paid good money for!
David: HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!
David can be heard screaming over the radio.
Old Man Hightower: DON'T YA WRECK MY TRUCK YA GOOD FER NOTHIN FAILURE OF A SON!
Old Man Hightower: OHHHHHH GOD I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK!!!!!!!
Old Man Hightower: NO! DON'T YOU RUIN THE UPHOLSTERY!!!!!
David: YOU DRIVE THEN OLD MAN!!!!!!
*WARNING WARNING WARNING ENGINE OVERHEATING!*
Suddenly the sound can be heard from the cab of David's truck.
David: Oh what the hell is that?!
Boomer: The engine is over heating Hightower! Bring back in!
David: Bring it back in!? Oh for the love of....
Old Man Hightower: You have a GPS in there ya know!
Suddenly the truck is seen falling from the sky spinning......
Boomer: THERE HE IS!!!!!
Old Man Hightower: Uh oh.....
*CRAAAAAAAAAASHHHHHHHH!*
And the truck lands upside down on the roof wiping out the poles at the finish line. Boomer ran over clapping his hands.
Grandma Mary: Ah! There they are! Look at the finish line.
Uncle: About time. Wait, how long have they been waiting there? Is that time accurate?
Grandma Mary: Did they even hit the rest of the obstacles?
Uncle: Of course, we just didn’t see them do it.
Grandma Mary: So how could we know if they reached the finish line before this time?
Old Man Hightower: Son are you ok?!
David: Boomer.......
Boomer: Yes Hightower?
David: Come here.....
Grandma Mary: At least the crew is in good spirits!
Uncle: That one just fell over and seems to be using his hands to imitate the cup cup.
Old Man Hightower: Now that was uncalled for!
David: I just went around the world 80 times and for what?!
Old Man Hightower: Yeah really fer what?! Yer back at the startin line ya dumb ass!
Boomer can be heard in a high pitched voice.
Boomer: Actually.... I think he finished the race 16 times if ya do the math...... Ohhh my nuts....
Grandma Mary: But we didn’t see it so there’s no record so it didn’t happen.
Uncle: That seems very governmental of you.
Grandma Mary: If it isn’t recorded, it didn’t happen.
Uncle: That is not what you said when I was a boy and your expensive moonshine went missing. But I digress. Here comes our last crew.
Grandma Mary: Yes. Tiny’s Titans has suffered a recent loss that we at CAR were not expecting. In fact I have a meeting with Mongo next month.
Uncle: I look forward to hearing about it but I sadly cannot attend.
Grandma Mary: You don’t know when it is yet. We haven’t even picked a date.
Uncle: Yes, I have a meeting at that time. But hopefully, Tiny’s Titans can pull out a strong race today.
Tiny less Titans pull to the starting line with Subject 42 prominently sitting by himself in the top of the double decker car.
Forest comes out wearing all black and his face is covered in a black vail.
Grandma Mary: My Forest Force took Tiny’s passing very hard.
Uncle: They aren’t going to, like, pop their tires, right?
Grandma Mary: My Forest Force took Tiny’s passing very hard.
Uncle: Crap. Hey kid! Play this correctly and we’ll go out for ice cream.
Forest raises a black flag and glares at the remaining Tiny’s Titan members. He takes a deep breath and drops the flag.
Grandma Mary: And they’re off! Tiny’s Titans are speeding towards the turn.
Uncle: They aren’t turning. They aren’t-
Grandma Mary: -And they are airborne! Look at that graceful fall.
Uncle: Yea, I don’t think doing a somersault while - ohh.
Grandma Mary: It would seem Tiny’s Titans has suffered another crash.
Uncle: They should not have used the same strategies twice. Our medical expert is making her way to them now.
Grandma Mary: Subject 42 has escaped the vehicle unhurt and is now running the rest of the course on foot. Look at him go down that river bed.
Uncle: Yes, but I don’t think he’ll be faster than a motor vehicle.
Grandma Mary: At least this way all the racers will have finished the race.
Uncle: And the driver has extracted himself from the vehicle. He looks to be in a daze.
Grandma Mary: Or he is contemplating the vehicle. That will need some repairs. I think this crew will be out of the racing game for a little while.
Uncle: Our medical expert is now on scene.
Dr. Chaos: Chaotic Good to True Neutral, come in True Neutral.
Grandma Mary: This is True Neutral, what’s up Chaotic Good?
Dr. Chaos: The remaining Tiny less Titans are unhurt from the whoopsie doodle but you will need to use the Forests to get the vehicle out. Over and out.
Grandma Mary: Thank you for the update. Subject 42 is approaching the final jump however their time has exceeded the time of the top two crews.
Uncle: That’s right folks, we are ready to announce the winner of this Summer’s Silicone Cup!
Grandma Mary: But first, a word from our sponsor: Toplofty. It means condescending.
Uncle: Your tone is a bit toplofty. And now for the Fan Belt. This race can give us only one winner but the Fan Belt has provided another.
Grandma Mary: This month’s Fan Belt can only be given to the crew that visited with the most fans, Hightower! Their publicity stunt was really eye-catching this month.
Uncle: Congratulations Hightower! And now the moment Silicone Enthusiasts have been waiting for! Who won the Silicone Cup?
Grandma Mary: Coming in first place by 4 seconds is the Angry Mad Chemists! A narrow race with EOD! Those tentacles just couldn't keep up with the lose of a wheel, I guess.
Uncle: Wow! What a close race!
Grandma Mary: And join us next month for the first Sippy Cup Qualifier leading into the End of Days Sippy Cup!