Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jul 22, 2021 20:37:51 GMT -5
*We open up … oh Lordy loo this is a horrid place. It’s like … abandoned. What the … oh this must be the site of the Rapture End of Days event on the XHF Network. Brought to you by Mongo the Destroyer, and surely put together by the most intrepid of backstage bookers/writers around. One who … oh wait people are coming. It’s … it’s everyone’s favorite plucky heroes! The trons! They walk into the center of a desolate amusement park based largely around the Bible!*
: Oh my God, God-like deity or pure luck for atheists … this place is … so damn bleak! It makes me yearn for the happy-go-lucky neon lit XHF of … THE FUTURE!!
: Pretty sure it’s just Oh My God here buddy. Catchphrase be damned. … Literally!
: I feel this is a poor choice of times for a pun Mini-Tron. Shogun will have to compete in this place and by the looks of it … it is ready to fall apart.
: Assuming I don’t try to ride any of the rides I should be fine. The ring will be in an open area where nobody but the 2000 lucky fans seated around the ring and near the falling apart attractions is in any danger. Besides the Borgs are still trying to recover after that match Sunday so they surely wouldn’t try anything.
*A Borgian putty shouts gibberish then charges at them from a hill where a GIANT slide … which is built into the robes of a Jesus statue … is. He hits the slide and stops half way down with nails and boards stuck to his butt. The slide then collapses and Jesus’s finger falls and splatters the poor schmuck.*
: Well not with any effort anyway.
: And I thought that level of ass trauma only happened around Jackson Steele.
: Speaking of pounding, you have had no luck with Jackson Steele have you Shogun?
: … Thanks for reminding me *he holds his neck* both times I came across him are the only losses I’ve suffered in this year since we’ve returned. And both times he nearly broke my neck … inadvertently I assume. But why do you bring him up? He is not in the tournament this year so I have a clear path to the finals and a clear path to taking the X*Crown and using it to assure that … THE FUTURE! … comes about as is necessary. Mongo will surely throw me a celebration. It would be the best thing to honor our fallen leader.
: I dunno, I could hold the X*Crown. Would be pretty sweet if you asked me!
: It concerns me how you keep finding out where we are. It’s almost like you have access to tron technology. Tron tech I have yet to find, as if you stole it from Lazor himself.
: *Sigh* Yeah … big mystery. Must just be lucky I guess. I gonna walk away now.
: What a nice fellow. OH GOOD GRAVY HE FELL INTO A PIT!
*Nano sprints off after Bongo who indeed has fallen into the Daniel in the Lion’s Den attraction!*
: WHY ARE THESE EVEN HERE!? WHO HIDES PITS ON GROUND LEVEL FOR PATRONS TO FALL INTO?!
: Well last year you lost to Steele and now he is being paid handsomely … in beer … and money … to give sage advice to one Duke Kosloff. The man is huge and not that far in strength and brutality from Hyperion.
: But I bested Hyperion. I have proven that being large and violent and a bit delusional will not help against my superior training and stamina. After all that is why Steele beat me, if there is one man who has more stamina than I, more drive to just not go down, it is him. But big men tend to tire quickly. All I have to do is employ a similar strategy. After all stamina cannot be taught and Duke has not wrestled all that often in the preceding months whereas I have been sporadically fighting in GUNS and global shows for the better part of a year now. I dare say I am in better shape than I was last year when it had been nearly a decade since we decided to patrol this time line in the absence of the XHF proper. And now I have a full cadre of trons and trons in training to support me. Duke probably doesn’t know about the T.I.T.s. How could he? He surely doesn’t have any method of seeing or touching T.I.T.s.
*Mini Tron again giggles*
: Sweet Saturnian Wormflank … they have active animatronic lions in here! THERE IS NO SAFETY FEATURES?! HOW DID THIS PLACE EVEN OPEN!
: But the fact remains that I must be prepared. Last year I was against my good friend and ally Nelly Angel, a champion in his own right but not anything like this mad Russian. I mean poor Nelly isn’t exactly like fighting Hyperion. Hyperion and Duke look like they could fight lions, or robots … or … VOLTRON! Nelly … well he is skilled and a great technician and flyer but against robots or lions … well he might be praying to some God, God-like deity or pure luck to save him.
: OH DEAR CHRIST THE LION HAS BONGO’S LEG! WON’T SOME BODY OR PURE LUCK HELP ME IN HERE?!
: The biggest advantage I can see is that Duke doesn’t know what he is getting in to. And this arena may spook some people but there is no change in the match you are having. He cannot use weapons or kill you. And who knows maybe this holy place will cause him to burst into flames or something? Talk about feel the burn!
*Flames rise from the pit*
: GAH! I FEEL THE BURN! My suit has caught fire! Stop drop and roll, stop drop and roll. WAIT! BONGO I KNOW WHAT TO DO!
: Yes and when all else fails I have my trust FUTURE BLASTER! I think I am more than ready to win this tournament. My one fear is that I will somehow make people dislike me by my appearance. Maybe I should get a new suit. One that better fits this new day and age. A new look could spruce me up. I mean look how sleak Nano-Tron is. Or at least pose for official XHF official merchandise in more than just one pose … would really suck to try to design graphics around my one pose and with my penchant for not doing public appearances. XHF must have like … one working photo of me at this point. I mean Nano already has like 5 poses in the XHF databanks and he looks happy.
*Nano and Bongo limp back to them triumphant and not hurt because … this is a happy story.*
: … I just beat Voltron.
*Fade out*
: Oh my God, God-like deity or pure luck for atheists … this place is … so damn bleak! It makes me yearn for the happy-go-lucky neon lit XHF of … THE FUTURE!!: Pretty sure it’s just Oh My God here buddy. Catchphrase be damned. … Literally!: I feel this is a poor choice of times for a pun Mini-Tron. Shogun will have to compete in this place and by the looks of it … it is ready to fall apart.: Assuming I don’t try to ride any of the rides I should be fine. The ring will be in an open area where nobody but the 2000 lucky fans seated around the ring and near the falling apart attractions is in any danger. Besides the Borgs are still trying to recover after that match Sunday so they surely wouldn’t try anything.*A Borgian putty shouts gibberish then charges at them from a hill where a GIANT slide … which is built into the robes of a Jesus statue … is. He hits the slide and stops half way down with nails and boards stuck to his butt. The slide then collapses and Jesus’s finger falls and splatters the poor schmuck.*
: Well not with any effort anyway.: And I thought that level of ass trauma only happened around Jackson Steele.: Speaking of pounding, you have had no luck with Jackson Steele have you Shogun?: … Thanks for reminding me *he holds his neck* both times I came across him are the only losses I’ve suffered in this year since we’ve returned. And both times he nearly broke my neck … inadvertently I assume. But why do you bring him up? He is not in the tournament this year so I have a clear path to the finals and a clear path to taking the X*Crown and using it to assure that … THE FUTURE! … comes about as is necessary. Mongo will surely throw me a celebration. It would be the best thing to honor our fallen leader.: I dunno, I could hold the X*Crown. Would be pretty sweet if you asked me!: It concerns me how you keep finding out where we are. It’s almost like you have access to tron technology. Tron tech I have yet to find, as if you stole it from Lazor himself.: *Sigh* Yeah … big mystery. Must just be lucky I guess. I gonna walk away now.: What a nice fellow. OH GOOD GRAVY HE FELL INTO A PIT!*Nano sprints off after Bongo who indeed has fallen into the Daniel in the Lion’s Den attraction!*
: WHY ARE THESE EVEN HERE!? WHO HIDES PITS ON GROUND LEVEL FOR PATRONS TO FALL INTO?!: Well last year you lost to Steele and now he is being paid handsomely … in beer … and money … to give sage advice to one Duke Kosloff. The man is huge and not that far in strength and brutality from Hyperion.: But I bested Hyperion. I have proven that being large and violent and a bit delusional will not help against my superior training and stamina. After all that is why Steele beat me, if there is one man who has more stamina than I, more drive to just not go down, it is him. But big men tend to tire quickly. All I have to do is employ a similar strategy. After all stamina cannot be taught and Duke has not wrestled all that often in the preceding months whereas I have been sporadically fighting in GUNS and global shows for the better part of a year now. I dare say I am in better shape than I was last year when it had been nearly a decade since we decided to patrol this time line in the absence of the XHF proper. And now I have a full cadre of trons and trons in training to support me. Duke probably doesn’t know about the T.I.T.s. How could he? He surely doesn’t have any method of seeing or touching T.I.T.s.*Mini Tron again giggles*
: Sweet Saturnian Wormflank … they have active animatronic lions in here! THERE IS NO SAFETY FEATURES?! HOW DID THIS PLACE EVEN OPEN!: But the fact remains that I must be prepared. Last year I was against my good friend and ally Nelly Angel, a champion in his own right but not anything like this mad Russian. I mean poor Nelly isn’t exactly like fighting Hyperion. Hyperion and Duke look like they could fight lions, or robots … or … VOLTRON! Nelly … well he is skilled and a great technician and flyer but against robots or lions … well he might be praying to some God, God-like deity or pure luck to save him.: OH DEAR CHRIST THE LION HAS BONGO’S LEG! WON’T SOME BODY OR PURE LUCK HELP ME IN HERE?!: The biggest advantage I can see is that Duke doesn’t know what he is getting in to. And this arena may spook some people but there is no change in the match you are having. He cannot use weapons or kill you. And who knows maybe this holy place will cause him to burst into flames or something? Talk about feel the burn!*Flames rise from the pit*
: GAH! I FEEL THE BURN! My suit has caught fire! Stop drop and roll, stop drop and roll. WAIT! BONGO I KNOW WHAT TO DO!: Yes and when all else fails I have my trust FUTURE BLASTER! I think I am more than ready to win this tournament. My one fear is that I will somehow make people dislike me by my appearance. Maybe I should get a new suit. One that better fits this new day and age. A new look could spruce me up. I mean look how sleak Nano-Tron is. Or at least pose for official XHF official merchandise in more than just one pose … would really suck to try to design graphics around my one pose and with my penchant for not doing public appearances. XHF must have like … one working photo of me at this point. I mean Nano already has like 5 poses in the XHF databanks and he looks happy.*Nano and Bongo limp back to them triumphant and not hurt because … this is a happy story.*
: … I just beat Voltron.*Fade out*
