Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2021 13:42:01 GMT -5
"You can just feel the details. The bits and pieces you never bothered to put into words. And you can feel these extreme moments... even if you don't want to. You put these together, and you get the feel of a person. Enough to know how much you miss them... and how much you hate the person who took them away." - Leonard Shelby (Memento)
Brad Kane: You know, I love seeing my daughter so happy. I love seeing my wife happy. It makes my heart melt when I see their smiles, more so then anything else in this world. But right now, is not a time to reflect upon how I've been so blessed in the past year. Despite the fact that I have a family that loves, almost, there is something else that's happened two weeks down the road a year ago. A year ago on July 31st, as some of you may know, my son was struck by a drunk driver. Middle of the day and he was just blitzed out of his mind. Some seventeen year old kid, didn't know what he did wrong when he heard a thud.
He simply passed it off as an animal. Never mind the supposed shrieks that my son let out. Never mind that this kid got off on the charges because there weren't any solid witnesses, only some old lady who's seen the truck before. My son's killer was never brought to the justice that he deserved. He had a huge smile the whole time during his court date because he knew there wasn't a single way he was going to jail for killing my son. I remember sitting there with Megan and Lilly, crying because this mother****er never got what he had coming. Last I heard, he's graduated high school and is still getting blitzed whenever he can.
There are nights where I just lay in bed and I wonder about what my son could have been. He could have been second generation of the Kane name in wrestling. He could've been a teacher like his eventual step mother. I'll lay there and I'll cry about it because my son meant the world to me. Just like my brother and his son. Just like any one in nCw who has a son. You see so much of yourself in him it's just scary. Chris loved wrestling. He loved watching me do all the crazy stuff I used to do, he loved watching some of the people I called a friend wrestle. He loved the industry, maybe more then I did at his age.
I remember the night I won my first World Title. He was backstage that night and I remember the match was against Dark Prophet. I remember pulling that title down from the top of the ceiling and celebrating. I go backstage and the first person there was Chris, waiting to give me a huge hug because I finally did what so many wrestlers want to do. They want to be called the best wrestler in the world. I've called myself that moniker before. Then I a got a certain court order from another promotion saying I might get sued if I continue to call myself that. But my son loved watching wrestling.
I had a match a couple of days after he died and it was the hardest match of my career. I can tell you the exact people who were in it and how I lost that match. I tagged with a great friend of mine to go against another great friend and his tag team partner that night. It was my first match in over two months. My first match since my son died and I gained a daughter. Everything was such a blur, I don't remember most of it. All I remember is getting a standing ovation for the simple strength I had to go out there and continue to do my job the only way I knew how. I did the things that made me the former Reckless Jack.
Think of all the success I had with that name. People in nCw know about it. All the titles, the awards and the accolades that Reckless Jack brought me. They think of my stables, my turns and my matches that Reckless Jack brought me. Stepping back a few more weeks though, to when I nearly ended my career. That shooting star press, a move I haven't done in over a year to the outside like I did that night. Chris loved that move. He told me that when and if he became a wrestler, that'd be his finisher like so many others that use it. So the night I nearly broke my neck, he called me while I was in the hospitial. He was crying over the phone saying "Dad, I hate that move. I never want to see it again!"
I said okay and we talked about life a little bit. I said that after I got out of the hospitial, I was gonna drive to Iowa and take him fishing. I was gonna put him in a boat and explain some of the facts of life to him. I was going to teach him how to be a man, how to stand up for yourself and how to respect women. Instead, I was selfish and got drunk for the last time before I was put into rehab by my guardian angel. My last memory of my son was never fulfilling that last promise on taking him fishing. I'm almost certain he was heartbroken. I'm almost certain that when I was at his home, getting his little sister, the poster of me was torn down because I had lied to my son again.
People always ask me why I dropped the "Reckless Jack" name. I never give a response to them. I try to switch the subject instead of explaining how Reckless Jack was part of my old life that I left behind a year ago. Reckless Jack was the thing I hated inside of me. He was a drunk, he beat on his son just like my foster father did to me. Everything evil in my life was because of Reckless Jack. So after I got out of rehab, I started to use my real name more and more because it was almost a re-birth. It's like Brad Kane had become a new person. But the memory of never fulfilling that last promise to my son haunts me to this day. The thought that I never got to take him fishing and explaining life continually burns me up inside.
It's almost a year later now and I can't shake it from me. I probably never will either. Memories are impossible to escape. You can try to hide them, you can try to block them out but they always come back. Just like the memory of that kid who killed my son. I see his smile and I think about how much I hate the **** for never taking responibilty for his actions. I'll never stop hating him either, not until I see him face to face and I'll just look him in the eye and say, "All I want to hear you say is I'm sorry." I don't dream of killing him because it wouldn't bring Chris back. All I want from this kid is to know what he did was wrong and that it burns him up inside like it does me.
Then I start to think about Last Stand. I start to think about what it would mean to Chris to see his father wrestle in July again. July, like I've noted before, has always been rather horid. This year though, it's been one of the greatest months of my life. Lilly's first birthday, having the twins with Megan and the chance to honor my son in the only way I can now, through wrestling. This match at Last Stand, it'll be that old style you used to see in me. I have to bring back "Reckless Jack" if only for this one night because I know how much Chris loved it.
Steve Awesome always takes me to a place I thought I couldn't reach in then some. The crowd knows that every single time we're in the ring, it's something special. We've been compared to so many other classic wrestling series. We've been compared to some of the absoulte best that's stepped into the squared circle. I don't know it's we hate each other or its just the fact that the whole thing between is a never ending game of oneupsmanship. Seems like every other pay per view we somehow get roped into the same match because management knows that what we do is give that fans a show and keep them talking long after they've gone home that night.
Jack Manson is just Jack Manson. I can't find the words to say anything about the guy. He's a good wrestler. I'm not going to sit here and pull a Steve Awesome and continually bad mouth the guy because I have no need to speak ill of my opponents, not anymore. That's what we like to call honor. For the longest time, I lived my life with no respect, no honor and only through lust. What did it get me? Nothing! So ever since that re-birth, it's only been about love, honor and respect. The three things a man needs to live by to call himself a real man. It's not about whoring yourself out. It's not about being a cocky asshole. It's not about anything else but those three things.
So at Last Stand, it's about honor and respect. I'll shake your hands like a man whether I win or I lose because that's honor, that's respect. I'm just Brad Kane guys, that's all I am now and that's who I'm going to be for the rest of my natural life. Love, honor and respect define me and through thick and thin, I'll make sure to follow.
~Fin
Brad Kane: You know, I love seeing my daughter so happy. I love seeing my wife happy. It makes my heart melt when I see their smiles, more so then anything else in this world. But right now, is not a time to reflect upon how I've been so blessed in the past year. Despite the fact that I have a family that loves, almost, there is something else that's happened two weeks down the road a year ago. A year ago on July 31st, as some of you may know, my son was struck by a drunk driver. Middle of the day and he was just blitzed out of his mind. Some seventeen year old kid, didn't know what he did wrong when he heard a thud.
He simply passed it off as an animal. Never mind the supposed shrieks that my son let out. Never mind that this kid got off on the charges because there weren't any solid witnesses, only some old lady who's seen the truck before. My son's killer was never brought to the justice that he deserved. He had a huge smile the whole time during his court date because he knew there wasn't a single way he was going to jail for killing my son. I remember sitting there with Megan and Lilly, crying because this mother****er never got what he had coming. Last I heard, he's graduated high school and is still getting blitzed whenever he can.
There are nights where I just lay in bed and I wonder about what my son could have been. He could have been second generation of the Kane name in wrestling. He could've been a teacher like his eventual step mother. I'll lay there and I'll cry about it because my son meant the world to me. Just like my brother and his son. Just like any one in nCw who has a son. You see so much of yourself in him it's just scary. Chris loved wrestling. He loved watching me do all the crazy stuff I used to do, he loved watching some of the people I called a friend wrestle. He loved the industry, maybe more then I did at his age.
I remember the night I won my first World Title. He was backstage that night and I remember the match was against Dark Prophet. I remember pulling that title down from the top of the ceiling and celebrating. I go backstage and the first person there was Chris, waiting to give me a huge hug because I finally did what so many wrestlers want to do. They want to be called the best wrestler in the world. I've called myself that moniker before. Then I a got a certain court order from another promotion saying I might get sued if I continue to call myself that. But my son loved watching wrestling.
I had a match a couple of days after he died and it was the hardest match of my career. I can tell you the exact people who were in it and how I lost that match. I tagged with a great friend of mine to go against another great friend and his tag team partner that night. It was my first match in over two months. My first match since my son died and I gained a daughter. Everything was such a blur, I don't remember most of it. All I remember is getting a standing ovation for the simple strength I had to go out there and continue to do my job the only way I knew how. I did the things that made me the former Reckless Jack.
Think of all the success I had with that name. People in nCw know about it. All the titles, the awards and the accolades that Reckless Jack brought me. They think of my stables, my turns and my matches that Reckless Jack brought me. Stepping back a few more weeks though, to when I nearly ended my career. That shooting star press, a move I haven't done in over a year to the outside like I did that night. Chris loved that move. He told me that when and if he became a wrestler, that'd be his finisher like so many others that use it. So the night I nearly broke my neck, he called me while I was in the hospitial. He was crying over the phone saying "Dad, I hate that move. I never want to see it again!"
I said okay and we talked about life a little bit. I said that after I got out of the hospitial, I was gonna drive to Iowa and take him fishing. I was gonna put him in a boat and explain some of the facts of life to him. I was going to teach him how to be a man, how to stand up for yourself and how to respect women. Instead, I was selfish and got drunk for the last time before I was put into rehab by my guardian angel. My last memory of my son was never fulfilling that last promise on taking him fishing. I'm almost certain he was heartbroken. I'm almost certain that when I was at his home, getting his little sister, the poster of me was torn down because I had lied to my son again.
People always ask me why I dropped the "Reckless Jack" name. I never give a response to them. I try to switch the subject instead of explaining how Reckless Jack was part of my old life that I left behind a year ago. Reckless Jack was the thing I hated inside of me. He was a drunk, he beat on his son just like my foster father did to me. Everything evil in my life was because of Reckless Jack. So after I got out of rehab, I started to use my real name more and more because it was almost a re-birth. It's like Brad Kane had become a new person. But the memory of never fulfilling that last promise to my son haunts me to this day. The thought that I never got to take him fishing and explaining life continually burns me up inside.
It's almost a year later now and I can't shake it from me. I probably never will either. Memories are impossible to escape. You can try to hide them, you can try to block them out but they always come back. Just like the memory of that kid who killed my son. I see his smile and I think about how much I hate the **** for never taking responibilty for his actions. I'll never stop hating him either, not until I see him face to face and I'll just look him in the eye and say, "All I want to hear you say is I'm sorry." I don't dream of killing him because it wouldn't bring Chris back. All I want from this kid is to know what he did was wrong and that it burns him up inside like it does me.
Then I start to think about Last Stand. I start to think about what it would mean to Chris to see his father wrestle in July again. July, like I've noted before, has always been rather horid. This year though, it's been one of the greatest months of my life. Lilly's first birthday, having the twins with Megan and the chance to honor my son in the only way I can now, through wrestling. This match at Last Stand, it'll be that old style you used to see in me. I have to bring back "Reckless Jack" if only for this one night because I know how much Chris loved it.
Steve Awesome always takes me to a place I thought I couldn't reach in then some. The crowd knows that every single time we're in the ring, it's something special. We've been compared to so many other classic wrestling series. We've been compared to some of the absoulte best that's stepped into the squared circle. I don't know it's we hate each other or its just the fact that the whole thing between is a never ending game of oneupsmanship. Seems like every other pay per view we somehow get roped into the same match because management knows that what we do is give that fans a show and keep them talking long after they've gone home that night.
Jack Manson is just Jack Manson. I can't find the words to say anything about the guy. He's a good wrestler. I'm not going to sit here and pull a Steve Awesome and continually bad mouth the guy because I have no need to speak ill of my opponents, not anymore. That's what we like to call honor. For the longest time, I lived my life with no respect, no honor and only through lust. What did it get me? Nothing! So ever since that re-birth, it's only been about love, honor and respect. The three things a man needs to live by to call himself a real man. It's not about whoring yourself out. It's not about being a cocky asshole. It's not about anything else but those three things.
So at Last Stand, it's about honor and respect. I'll shake your hands like a man whether I win or I lose because that's honor, that's respect. I'm just Brad Kane guys, that's all I am now and that's who I'm going to be for the rest of my natural life. Love, honor and respect define me and through thick and thin, I'll make sure to follow.
~Fin