Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2021 13:45:38 GMT -5
I love you big brother.
I'm so glad I met you big brother. From the day I met you in 2005, I knew you would be someone I looked up to. You taught me about wrestling, more then I could ever know and I'm forever in your debt.
I know he didn't mean to hurt me like that. Maybe he still wants to be like my big brother down in his heart. Maybe Lance is still my idol, my hero, my big brother. Maybe after Master of Horrors, we'll be friends again and this will all be water under the bridge. I think I'd like that.
Reckless Jack: The past two days or so, maybe it's just been today. I've slowly been coming to a conclusion. It seems like the past month has been nothing but realizations and conclusions about things I thought I knew. I thought I knew Lance Ryan. I thought I knew who this guy was. I thought I knew that he'd be my friend through thick and thin. I thought he would've jumped at the chance to become the godfather to my twin daughters. I know I've been through this before but my mind keeps on racing about this. I can't get it out of my head. I can't get the thoughts of what I then thought was betrayal but now that I look back on it, maybe he was just looking out for himself.
Maybe the man I wanted to be my big brother was just looking after his best interests. Why wouldn't he want to reveal something like that? I probably would've done the same thing if I had the chance. Lance is one of the smartest guys I know in the wrestling business. He's carefully planned this for eighteen years. He's done a fantastic job of making everyone fall for his lies and I'm kind of proud to say I fell for it. I'm happy to say that I was a pawn in his game of chess. I was used and I really don't care because I know that somewhere, he still wants to be my big brother.
I love you big brother.
I hate you big brother.
I don't know what to think big brother.
All my life I've wanted a big brother. Someone to show me the ropes about life. Someone to take care of me when life got rough. You never did it big brother.
I'm so glad I met you big brother. From the day I met you in 2005, I knew you would be someone I looked up to. You taught me about wrestling, more then I could ever know and I'm forever in your debt.
You did nothing for me. You were hardly there unless I demanded you to be there. My wedding to Megan. You never cared about me big brother. **** you.
Why did you to this to me big brother? I want to love you and I want to hate you. What do I do? I'm so confused. I don't know what I'm fighting for. Am I fighting for myself? Am I fighting for my family? Am I fighting for your acceptance?
**** Lance Ryan. He's toyed with me for far too long and I'm sick of it. Every time I want to see his face, I want to break it into a million pieces. I want to smash my fist into his face and watch his nose bleed. I want to kick him in the temple and knock him out.
I know he didn't mean to hurt me like that. Maybe he still wants to be like my big brother down in his heart. Maybe Lance is still my idol, my hero, my big brother. Maybe after Master of Horrors, we'll be friends again and this will all be water under the bridge. I think I'd like that.
That's a load of bull****. He never wants to be friends again. He doesn't want to be my big brother anymore. I don't need him and I never have. He was only in my way for the past three years, giving me bad advice upon more bad advice. After Master of Horrors, he'll be dead.
Did I really mean to take this so far? He was only doing what he thought was right. So why am I still going through with this? I don't need his acceptance anymore. I'm my own man, molded from what I've done, not from what he's told me. Is that what I'm supposed to realize?
Reckless Jack: The past two days or so, maybe it's just been today. I've slowly been coming to a conclusion. It seems like the past month has been nothing but realizations and conclusions about things I thought I knew. I thought I knew Lance Ryan. I thought I knew who this guy was. I thought I knew that he'd be my friend through thick and thin. I thought he would've jumped at the chance to become the godfather to my twin daughters. I know I've been through this before but my mind keeps on racing about this. I can't get it out of my head. I can't get the thoughts of what I then thought was betrayal but now that I look back on it, maybe he was just looking out for himself.
Maybe the man I wanted to be my big brother was just looking after his best interests. Why wouldn't he want to reveal something like that? I probably would've done the same thing if I had the chance. Lance is one of the smartest guys I know in the wrestling business. He's carefully planned this for eighteen years. He's done a fantastic job of making everyone fall for his lies and I'm kind of proud to say I fell for it. I'm happy to say that I was a pawn in his game of chess. I was used and I really don't care because I know that somewhere, he still wants to be my big brother.
Reckless Jack: Here we go again right Lance? You make fun of me, spit my words back in my face because it's the cool thing for wrestlers to do. What happened to the days of talking to your opponents without having to put them down? I guess that went out the window quite some time ago right? I mean, you always keep going back to insulting my family because you have nothing else to do. Why bother using anything else when you know something is tried and true right? I can't believe you honestly think that I'm going to be the one on that mat, covered in my own blood. As an insurance case for this match, I never said the secret rule. You don't have to be in the ring to lose.
That's always been my ace in the hole and now you know about it. You can pin me on the outside of the ring just as easily as you can inside the ****er. But you're ***damn right I saved your life. I remember that stupid cunt quite well. You loved her and what'd she do? She cheated on you didn't she but all that was a ****ing lie. Did you really ever know this girl before? Did you ever give me good advice either? You never did a thing for me that took me in a positive step in my career. You'd tell me to do something and I listened to you because I wanted to be like you big brother.
For three years of my life, I wanted to be comparable to Lance Ryan. Instead, I'm not even close to you. I don't even sniff the trail of **** you leave behind because after Sunday night, its finally over and done. Christ, I saw you go on a little tirade about how you aren't going to let your loved ones watch this match because what you're going to do to me. What a crock. You know for a fact that you don't want them watching because I'm going to embarass you. I'm going to embarass you in a made that I made. A match that I am always ready to bleed for, that I'm always ready to die in. It's a survival match Lance. You make it seem like beating in me is an accomplishment.
As long as I stand up at the end of the match and you still see me standing, bleeding, smiling and then you'll know for a fact that you've never been able to break me in the way that you intended to. Because when you see me standing up, still alive, you're going to be mad. You're going to want to shoot me in the chest to keep me down Lance. But I simply can't understand you anymore. You talk about blame, you talk about running away from the problems. What about when you lost the NWA World Title. YOU WENT INTO RETIREMENT! What about when I got you to join YPW and it was starting to fail. YOU WENT INTO RETIREMENT!
Every single time I think we're close to finally ending this bull**** between, you get the case of the shakes and run away like a pansy. I stayed. I stayed in both of those place. I went back while you only did so you can get beat by everyone because you didn't care anymore. ****ing hypocritical bull****. You claim to finally have respect for me? Like it matters. It's too little to late for anything like that Lance. You see, by saying you finally respect me for realizing something is almost like you're saying that you don't want to go through with this again.
And then... and then... You have the mother****ing nerve to go after my family again. You call me a sperm donor. You say that my wife, my soul mate would go out and find another man to hold and love her. I don't think so. This is why you don't know me. For twenty seven years she passed on tons of guys. She passed on them, holding out hope for that one guy that would complete her. From the moment she laid her eyes on me, she knew that was it. I knew that was it. You claim to understand me but you don't know about the power of my love for my family. You don't think that the two personalities that I show in the wrestling world don't mix. I'd honorably die for my family. Unlike you, I don't run from my problems. I've had disputes but I always came back didn't I? You know that to be true and you're just not wanting to say it.
You'll be nothing because I say you're nothing. Do you have any idea how many people respect me over you? I don't have to bull**** my way through keeping my title. I don't need some bull**** retirement angle to get myself over like you do. But I don't care if I'm important to anyone but the ten people that care about me. The people that would die for me. What about you and your two people that hang around you? They'd move past you unlike my family would because there is a simple concept you are missing. They hate you just like I do Lance. Your girlfriend wants you money, your son is an asshole who wants your money. They want to see you die. They hate you.
That's always been my ace in the hole and now you know about it. You can pin me on the outside of the ring just as easily as you can inside the ****er. But you're ***damn right I saved your life. I remember that stupid cunt quite well. You loved her and what'd she do? She cheated on you didn't she but all that was a ****ing lie. Did you really ever know this girl before? Did you ever give me good advice either? You never did a thing for me that took me in a positive step in my career. You'd tell me to do something and I listened to you because I wanted to be like you big brother.
For three years of my life, I wanted to be comparable to Lance Ryan. Instead, I'm not even close to you. I don't even sniff the trail of **** you leave behind because after Sunday night, its finally over and done. Christ, I saw you go on a little tirade about how you aren't going to let your loved ones watch this match because what you're going to do to me. What a crock. You know for a fact that you don't want them watching because I'm going to embarass you. I'm going to embarass you in a made that I made. A match that I am always ready to bleed for, that I'm always ready to die in. It's a survival match Lance. You make it seem like beating in me is an accomplishment.
As long as I stand up at the end of the match and you still see me standing, bleeding, smiling and then you'll know for a fact that you've never been able to break me in the way that you intended to. Because when you see me standing up, still alive, you're going to be mad. You're going to want to shoot me in the chest to keep me down Lance. But I simply can't understand you anymore. You talk about blame, you talk about running away from the problems. What about when you lost the NWA World Title. YOU WENT INTO RETIREMENT! What about when I got you to join YPW and it was starting to fail. YOU WENT INTO RETIREMENT!
Every single time I think we're close to finally ending this bull**** between, you get the case of the shakes and run away like a pansy. I stayed. I stayed in both of those place. I went back while you only did so you can get beat by everyone because you didn't care anymore. ****ing hypocritical bull****. You claim to finally have respect for me? Like it matters. It's too little to late for anything like that Lance. You see, by saying you finally respect me for realizing something is almost like you're saying that you don't want to go through with this again.
And then... and then... You have the mother****ing nerve to go after my family again. You call me a sperm donor. You say that my wife, my soul mate would go out and find another man to hold and love her. I don't think so. This is why you don't know me. For twenty seven years she passed on tons of guys. She passed on them, holding out hope for that one guy that would complete her. From the moment she laid her eyes on me, she knew that was it. I knew that was it. You claim to understand me but you don't know about the power of my love for my family. You don't think that the two personalities that I show in the wrestling world don't mix. I'd honorably die for my family. Unlike you, I don't run from my problems. I've had disputes but I always came back didn't I? You know that to be true and you're just not wanting to say it.
You'll be nothing because I say you're nothing. Do you have any idea how many people respect me over you? I don't have to bull**** my way through keeping my title. I don't need some bull**** retirement angle to get myself over like you do. But I don't care if I'm important to anyone but the ten people that care about me. The people that would die for me. What about you and your two people that hang around you? They'd move past you unlike my family would because there is a simple concept you are missing. They hate you just like I do Lance. Your girlfriend wants you money, your son is an asshole who wants your money. They want to see you die. They hate you.
Reckless Jack: There is something I always fight for big brother. I always fight for love. I fight for the love of my family and I fight for the love for my friends. What do you fight for big brother? The money that wrestling brings you? The titles and honor that being called the best brings you? That's nothing compared to fighting for love. I finally realized why I fight Lance. It's not for the reasons that you do. That's why we're so different.
The love that I fight for is something you can't and will never understand. No matter how much you beat me down at Battle Grounds, I'll keep coming back because I have the most powerful ally at my side big brother. I'll have the power of love. When the blood flows from down my face and I can barely see, love will be there to guide me. When I feel the chairs hit my skull, it won't hurt as much because the love will be there to protect me. When I get dropped onto the barbed wire, the pain won't hurt because love keeps my skin from getting sliced open.
On Sunday night, I fight for myself. I fight for Megan. I fight for Lilly. I fight for Sarah. I fight for Jennifer, I fight for Freya. I fight for Spike. Sunday night... I fight for love and I won't lose for one simple reason. Love conquers all.
The love that I fight for is something you can't and will never understand. No matter how much you beat me down at Battle Grounds, I'll keep coming back because I have the most powerful ally at my side big brother. I'll have the power of love. When the blood flows from down my face and I can barely see, love will be there to guide me. When I feel the chairs hit my skull, it won't hurt as much because the love will be there to protect me. When I get dropped onto the barbed wire, the pain won't hurt because love keeps my skin from getting sliced open.
On Sunday night, I fight for myself. I fight for Megan. I fight for Lilly. I fight for Sarah. I fight for Jennifer, I fight for Freya. I fight for Spike. Sunday night... I fight for love and I won't lose for one simple reason. Love conquers all.
I love you big brother.
I hate you big brother
I know who I am and why I fight big brother.