Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2021 13:56:33 GMT -5
"The words spoken by you brother, they're nothing after Sunday night. Every single word that escapes from your mouth is just something designed to try to get into my head, wanting me to feed into your hate, your anger and your want for destruction of our family, they'll be nothing but a memory in a few short nights. The words that you've tried to speak to Freya, my wife, your wife, they're all but lost memories after Sunday evening.
My intentions for that evening are not as bad as you might think brother. I don't wish you more harm then you've wished upon me. If you were to die in the middle of that ring, who would grow up to teach Xander to be a bitter man? If you were to die in the middle of that ring, who would help take care of River? I know you love your wife and son, much like how I love my wife and children and how Freya will do the same in due time. Think about them Spike, think about River and Xander just for a moment.
Do you know what this is really doing to my love? Seeing me like this is tearing her up inside but she sticks with me. She sticks with me because she knows for a fact that after Sunday, no matter what happens to me, I'm done with you. I'll be going back to the name mom and dad gave me, Bradley Kane. You might not want me as Brad Kane and that's perfectly fine brother, I can understand how you feel. When I was with our aunt and uncle here in the states, there were so many times I didn't want to have their same last night because of how they are.
Now that I look back on it, it was nothing but unfair of me to judge them in such a manner. They took me in, they tried the best they could with me. I'm not blaming them for how I turned out anymore. We're all in control of our own lives, people can only influence them towards good or evil. Just like how Conrad constantly keeps popping into your mind and tells you all these outlandish things that you believe to be reality. Just remember who the best man at your wedding was. Just remember who was right with you when your son was born.
Be angry with me all you want to big brother because even though I don't like you, I don't hate you. You see brother, this match is just a way for us to finally get all the anger out. This is a way for both of us to beat each other senseless until one of us yells the words. But as far as your words are concerned right now though, Michael, you've just dug yourself into a bigger hole then you could possibly imagine.
See, I could use this time to spit facts back in your face and debate this whole issue with you but I won't because I wish to do something else. Although it is a little sad to see you bring Freya back into this whole mess by saying that I tainted her. I do take offense to that because I could say the exact same about you. I'm open about things and you're a prude, contrast much? Like I said last time, we might look the same but we are two completely different people.
I had a dream last night big brother that we were kids again. But it was later in our childhood and our family was still together. Me, you, Freya, mom, dad and their last kid, Aiden. It was Christmas and we were around ten years old. We had smiles on our faces, everyone did. Dad wasn't the hardass we remember him to be. Mom was still a saint. It was one of the greatest dreams I've ever had in my life Spike because we were happy, as a family.
Then the dream became a nightmare again as I woke up. The thought of the happy family we were determined to be was replaced by a father who did the worst thing he possibly could. He forced us to seperate into three different directions. That nightmare though is something I can't wake up from no matter how hard I try. Why do you think I have the amount of kids I do brother? Why do you think I enjoy having so much sex that its impossible for me to go longer then a year without trying to get someone pregnant.
I want that big family feeling. I want that Christmas morning in ten years where my kids are opening presents with their cousins, their aunts and their uncles. But you've taken away my dream just like how my problems took away so many things. If I had known about yours, I would've helped but you never uttered a word to me. Our nightmares are in part of our own doing. We're responsible for our actions brother. Its our fault that we don't like one another.
This is all our fault and if someone sides with you, they aren't right. If someone sides with me, they aren't right. No one is right in this Spike because this whole thing is nothing but two brothers who need to paste one another with hard shots to the face. This is about your attachment to Conrad and my attachment to the need of being loved by everyone to feel some sort of self worth. Even if we do beat one another senseless, these problems won't go away from us.
When Sunday night rolls around, I don't take my time in that ring. I'm not going to enjoy this like I had originally planned on because I've found the deeper meaning to our problems. We both want one thing Spike and that's love. Just like how Freya wants love. That's why we're this way because we weren't taught to love.
But no matter Michael because even if something were to happen to you, I'll always love you, big brother."
My intentions for that evening are not as bad as you might think brother. I don't wish you more harm then you've wished upon me. If you were to die in the middle of that ring, who would grow up to teach Xander to be a bitter man? If you were to die in the middle of that ring, who would help take care of River? I know you love your wife and son, much like how I love my wife and children and how Freya will do the same in due time. Think about them Spike, think about River and Xander just for a moment.
Do you know what this is really doing to my love? Seeing me like this is tearing her up inside but she sticks with me. She sticks with me because she knows for a fact that after Sunday, no matter what happens to me, I'm done with you. I'll be going back to the name mom and dad gave me, Bradley Kane. You might not want me as Brad Kane and that's perfectly fine brother, I can understand how you feel. When I was with our aunt and uncle here in the states, there were so many times I didn't want to have their same last night because of how they are.
Now that I look back on it, it was nothing but unfair of me to judge them in such a manner. They took me in, they tried the best they could with me. I'm not blaming them for how I turned out anymore. We're all in control of our own lives, people can only influence them towards good or evil. Just like how Conrad constantly keeps popping into your mind and tells you all these outlandish things that you believe to be reality. Just remember who the best man at your wedding was. Just remember who was right with you when your son was born.
Be angry with me all you want to big brother because even though I don't like you, I don't hate you. You see brother, this match is just a way for us to finally get all the anger out. This is a way for both of us to beat each other senseless until one of us yells the words. But as far as your words are concerned right now though, Michael, you've just dug yourself into a bigger hole then you could possibly imagine.
See, I could use this time to spit facts back in your face and debate this whole issue with you but I won't because I wish to do something else. Although it is a little sad to see you bring Freya back into this whole mess by saying that I tainted her. I do take offense to that because I could say the exact same about you. I'm open about things and you're a prude, contrast much? Like I said last time, we might look the same but we are two completely different people.
I had a dream last night big brother that we were kids again. But it was later in our childhood and our family was still together. Me, you, Freya, mom, dad and their last kid, Aiden. It was Christmas and we were around ten years old. We had smiles on our faces, everyone did. Dad wasn't the hardass we remember him to be. Mom was still a saint. It was one of the greatest dreams I've ever had in my life Spike because we were happy, as a family.
Then the dream became a nightmare again as I woke up. The thought of the happy family we were determined to be was replaced by a father who did the worst thing he possibly could. He forced us to seperate into three different directions. That nightmare though is something I can't wake up from no matter how hard I try. Why do you think I have the amount of kids I do brother? Why do you think I enjoy having so much sex that its impossible for me to go longer then a year without trying to get someone pregnant.
I want that big family feeling. I want that Christmas morning in ten years where my kids are opening presents with their cousins, their aunts and their uncles. But you've taken away my dream just like how my problems took away so many things. If I had known about yours, I would've helped but you never uttered a word to me. Our nightmares are in part of our own doing. We're responsible for our actions brother. Its our fault that we don't like one another.
This is all our fault and if someone sides with you, they aren't right. If someone sides with me, they aren't right. No one is right in this Spike because this whole thing is nothing but two brothers who need to paste one another with hard shots to the face. This is about your attachment to Conrad and my attachment to the need of being loved by everyone to feel some sort of self worth. Even if we do beat one another senseless, these problems won't go away from us.
When Sunday night rolls around, I don't take my time in that ring. I'm not going to enjoy this like I had originally planned on because I've found the deeper meaning to our problems. We both want one thing Spike and that's love. Just like how Freya wants love. That's why we're this way because we weren't taught to love.
But no matter Michael because even if something were to happen to you, I'll always love you, big brother."