There's nothing I can do. (A Copycat/BANG [Showcase] RP)

[ForeverKuroi]

Fade in. It's in the middle of the park. Terry Bradshaw, CK "Rat Bastard" Owens and Copycat were all walking back from their celebratory party. Through the constant excitement, all three were tired. Their bodies hung low, their eyes were barely half open. That is, except for the leader of the gang of misfit misfits, Terry Bradshaw. He had an extra pep in his step. He smile was shining brighter than ever. It was like he never needed sleep.

:: "Are we there yet?"

: "And where is there anyway? I don't know where we're going."

: "Nevermind about that. We're going where the night takes us!"

: "But I'm tired. The victory party was fun and all, but we can't stay up for much longer."

: "Ho hum. What are you going to do when you get home, huh? Sleep? Waste time? There's no time like the present and if we're going to remain strong as B.A.N.G. If we're going to remain strong as the leaders of KWF, we're going to have to capitalize! We're going to have to accentuate! Perpetuate! Fornicate! Perpetrate!"

: "I could go for that, but why are we on foot? We had an entire kingdom we could use to carry us over. I'm actually getting car sickness by being on foot."

: "What could we gain by a vehicular escort? We have a match next week! We have to move our muscles. Our biceps, quadrocepts, solarplex, solar beam, razor leaf, dragon rage. But that only takes away forty HP. Works great on the weaker Pokemon, but not the high leveled ones."

Bradshaw turns to Copycat

: "You're a high leveled Pokemon, aren't you, son?"

Copycat doesn't think about it. Not only is he tired as all hell, he's also an idiot, so as far as he's aware, he's simply making small talk.

: "I think so."

: "I mean, you know transform. So that's pretty neat. And if that's the case, you have to know all my moves."

: "I know a lot of wrestling moves, yeah."

: "But do you know... WATER GUN!?"

Without warning, Terry Bradshaw spits into the face of Copycat. Some may have gotten in his mouth too, since Copycat, like a cat, tends to stick his tongue off to the side. Why? I'm not sure. No one is. Not doctors, anyway. He was going to try to get it investigated at his last job no one knows, but when he was booked at the Eggciting Eggplant, he got so excited that he quit his job and was without health insurance. Obviously, the Eggciting Eggplant wasn't going to provide health insurance. He has asked Terry Bradshaw, in the past, for help with his medical bills. It went something like this.

---

Flashback:

---

: "Mr. Bradshaw. I was hoping you could help me with some health insurance."

: "Absolutely, young chap! Why, it's in this bag over here!"

Terry Bradshaw pulls out a back pack. Copycat looks at it suspiciously.

: "The health insurance is in there?"

: "Yep!"

Copycat eyes it for a moment.

: You're sure thrasher isn't in there, right?

: "Of course not. That would be ridiculous. Besides, Thrasher is a valued member of our organization. To suggest he wouldn't greet you with open wolf-arms is preposterous!"

: "Okay... If you say so..."

Copycat hesitantly approaches the bag and opens it. Without any time at all, Thrasher jumps out of the bag and begins maiming Copycat. Terry Bradshaw stands back, confused.

: Wait. So if Thrasher is in there then that means the health insurance is... Uh Oh.

The camera cuts to a book bag next to a small pile of rotting meat.

---

End Flashback

---

Copycat is cleaning the slime off of his face. CK Owens fell onto his laugh from laughing so hard.

: "Good one, Rancor!"

: Now I'm going to have to find a bathroom so I can clean myself up.

: "I guess RECOVER isn't in your moveset! Hah!"

Copycat walks off. Bradshaw turns over to CK Owens.

: "You know what would be funny? If Copycat walked back here and both of our penises were exposed to him."

: "Uhhh... How would that be funny?"

: "Well, I..."

Terry Bradshaw is cut off as he notices flashing blue lights were blaring behind him.

: "Saved by the bell. I always hate when a prank idea goes sour."

Terry Bradshaw hears a police officer approach both him and CK Owens from behind him.

: "Police! Terry Bradshaw, we know it's you. Put your hands in the air. You're under arrest for murder, attempted murder and several other heinous crimes against society!"

Terry Bradshaw complies. Kind of. He throws his right arm into the air. Just then, and the police officer doesn't see this, but a microphone is slowly being lowered from the sky. Why? How? No idea. It just does. It's a role-play. Just deal with it.

: "Turn around!"

At this time, the microphone falls into his hand.

: "Every now and then I get a little bit lonely, and you're never comin' round!"

The police officer doesn't understand with Terry is talking about. But he knows that he's considered armed and dangerous, and so he's to be considered irrational and reckless. The police officer is cautious. The police officer repeats himself.

: "Mr. Bradshaw, turn around!"

: "Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears!"

The police officer points his radio-attachment on his shoulder to his mouth.

: "Yeah, this is Officer Cronin. We're going to need some back-up here."

Terry Bradshaw is still faced away from the officer. The officer looks back and becomes more determined. He's nearly yelling at this point.

: "TURN AROUND!"

: "Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by!"

The police officer begins to approach. CK Owens steps forward.

: "Is there a problem, officer?"

: "Can you tell your friend here to turn around?"

: "Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes."

At this point, several police officers pull up. One, in the background, has a megaphone with a speaker.

: "Mr. Bradshaw, turn around now or we will-"

Terry speaks over the megaphone.

: "Every now and then I fall apart."

The initial police officer is sick and tired of trying to get Terry Bradshaw to reply, and finds his chances of complying to be slim to none, so he physically approaches Terry and yells while turning him around.

: "TURN AROUND."

: "Every now and then I full apart!"

Terry Bradshaw is turned around and greets the officer with ascending kick to the face.

: "And I need you now tonight!"

Terry Bradshaw spits in the officer's face.

: "And I need you more than ever!"

Terry Bradshaw grabs the officer and squeezes him into a bearhug.

: "And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever!"

: "MR. BRADSHAW, LET GO OF THE OFFICER!"

For the first time since the police approached him, Terry Bradshaw has finally been made aware and have noticed the group of officers around him.

: "WE'LL ONLY BE MAKING IT RIGHT."

Terry Bradshaw whispers into the ear of the officer who has been engulfed in Terry's technical submission.

: "...because we'll never be wrong together. We can take it to the end of the line."

Terry looks back to the police officers.

: "Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time!"

: (Back-up Vocals) "All of the time."

: "I don't know what to do. I'm always in the d-"

An officer sneaks up behind Terry and uses his police baton on the back of his head and knocks him unconscious.

---

Fast forward a couple of hours into the future.

---

Terry wakes up. In a jail cell. (Surprise. Surprise.) He's next to CK Owens.

: "Rat Bastard, what are you doing here?"

: "Well, they arrested me for resisting arrest."

: "But, I-"

: "Your arrest."

Terry Bradshaw put his hands on his hips and tilted his head in a, 'You're not being fully honest with me' face.

: "Ugh. And I also have a couple of warrants for my arrest. Assault. Public Drunkenness."

Terry Bradshaw's face has not subsided.

: "...and public urination at a Chuck E Cheese..."

: "And now you're here. What have you learned?"

CK Owens hangs his head low.

: "Don't break the law."

Terry Bradshaw smiles and lifts his finger to CK Owens' face.

: "That's right! You can be an upstanding citizen like me. All it takes is a little self-restraint."

: "But, you're in prison t-"

CK Owens was interrupted as a police officer yells toward Terry Bradshaw.

: "Saved by the bell again!"

Terry Bradshaw points two fingers toward CK Owens, as if he was saying, 'that makes two!'.

: "Bradshaw! Come with me. You're getting arraigned on your charges!"

The officer opens the jail cell and walks Terry Bradshaw out.

: "What about me?"

: "You'll get your turn later."

---

An hour later.

---

: "This is the Honorable Judge Richard Robillard presiding. Mr. Terry Paxton Br-"

: "I do believe I have legally changed my middle name to FUCKIN'.

: "... fu- fuckin' Bradshaw, you are arrested for murder, attempted murder, several assaults against the policer, and [insert every crime imaginable here]. How do you plead?"

: "Not guilty, your majesty."

: "Good enough for me."

The judge bangs his gavel.

: "Case dismissed. Let the man free!"

The police officer steps forward, bewildered.

: "But this man is dangerous!"

: "Quiet, officer! Or I'll have you held in contempt of court!"

Terry Bradshaw leans in toward him.

: "Yeah. The judge can force you to arrest yourself! He can do that! He's a judge; he can do that, you know."

The police officer groans and frees Terry Bradshaw from his shackles.

: "Now, Mr. Bradshaw. I need to speak to you about another matter."

Terry Bradshaw and the judge walk together out of the courtroom. As if it is magic (it probably is), the judge transforms back into Copycat.

: "We need to leave. Now. Quickly."

: "Why?"

Cut to the an alleyway not too far from the courtroom. The real Honorable Judge Richard Robillard is gagged, bound, beaten and unconscious. Meanwhile, the end of Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart is playing in the background. The scene fades out as the final words play...

"Turn around bright eyes..."