Post by Dave D-Flipz on Aug 5, 2021 9:26:54 GMT -5
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
*A man with a pharmacist looking lab coat and a huge nose stands on a catwalk in shadows obscuring his features. He looks down upon the finishing touches being put onto a vehicle. A VEHICLE OF SCIENCE AND CHEMISTRY! He observes it being worked on by his three like-minded allies who will be actually utilizing his latest invention.*
“Ah yes gentlemen this reminds me of home in Drusselstein. The loud tink tink tink of the tools, the smell of motor oil and various noxious chemicals! You know I really need to get the ventilation fixed in here, it is so stuffy. I wanted a window but it’s so hard to find EVIL window installers during a pandemic.”
*There he goes losing track of his monologue again.*
“Roger always got the nicest windows in all of Gimmelshtump. But my parents made me sit out on the lawn … dressed as a gnome. We’ve all heard the backstory. ANYWAY I decided that I needed to change my tactics and regain my evil heritage after that Milo Murphy kid got me kicked out of the tri-state area. AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE HERE GENTLEMEN! To finish work on my greatest –inator ever … THE CHEMIS-TRUCK-INATOR!!!! Patent pending. This little monster car here will be our ticket to vast riches and fame which we can then use to get public opinion on our side to stop O.W.C.A. from barking down our throats. We can then use that to OVERTHROW this network and use its UNLIMITED RESOURCES AND MEDIA EMPIRE to take over … THE WORLD!!! It’s really quite an ingenious plan and one I think everyone will respect and FEAR!”
*He laughs maniacally*
“Now gentlemen we need you to be familiar with the Chemis-Truck-Inator. WILLIAM LASTNAME! You so graciously installed the corrosion cannons which fire pellets of a special formula of chemicals which mix together upon contact and corrode ANY material! OVI KINTOBOR! Your knowledge of robotics, animals, and speed has led to the wonderful CHEMISTY ENGINES! And thanks to the fuel contributions one from each of you we now have PROPULSION FOR DAYS! And then IAN BRUNDLE your knowledge of machines that somehow create billows of smoke and create pure chaos has gifted us the smokescreen-inators to use for defense! When the other racers see this car they will be flying the horrible coupe at sonic speed! And once again thank you gentlemen for convincing me not to install that self-destruct switch. I swear it’s the worst habit of mine.”
*He drinks from a coffee mug with a red button on it.*
“Now it is time … head off to the obstacle course and win us THE SIPPY CUP!”
*As the car revs up Billy hops inside while Ian and Ivo climb into the truck with all the pit crew and repair equipment. Suddenly we hear …
The car drives out of the garage as from the shadows a silhouette of a platypus wearing a fedora leaps in and kicks the man on the catwalk in the gut spewing coffee everywhere. We hear a click and the coffee mug starts to beep.*
“WHAT OH NOT MY MORNING JOE! CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!!!!”
*The car and pit truck escape the garage as a small explosion knocks the man off the catwalk and into a pile of bratwurst down below.*
“I really need a new hobby …”
*A man with a pharmacist looking lab coat and a huge nose stands on a catwalk in shadows obscuring his features. He looks down upon the finishing touches being put onto a vehicle. A VEHICLE OF SCIENCE AND CHEMISTRY! He observes it being worked on by his three like-minded allies who will be actually utilizing his latest invention.*
“Ah yes gentlemen this reminds me of home in Drusselstein. The loud tink tink tink of the tools, the smell of motor oil and various noxious chemicals! You know I really need to get the ventilation fixed in here, it is so stuffy. I wanted a window but it’s so hard to find EVIL window installers during a pandemic.”
*There he goes losing track of his monologue again.*
“Roger always got the nicest windows in all of Gimmelshtump. But my parents made me sit out on the lawn … dressed as a gnome. We’ve all heard the backstory. ANYWAY I decided that I needed to change my tactics and regain my evil heritage after that Milo Murphy kid got me kicked out of the tri-state area. AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE HERE GENTLEMEN! To finish work on my greatest –inator ever … THE CHEMIS-TRUCK-INATOR!!!! Patent pending. This little monster car here will be our ticket to vast riches and fame which we can then use to get public opinion on our side to stop O.W.C.A. from barking down our throats. We can then use that to OVERTHROW this network and use its UNLIMITED RESOURCES AND MEDIA EMPIRE to take over … THE WORLD!!! It’s really quite an ingenious plan and one I think everyone will respect and FEAR!”
*He laughs maniacally*
“Now gentlemen we need you to be familiar with the Chemis-Truck-Inator. WILLIAM LASTNAME! You so graciously installed the corrosion cannons which fire pellets of a special formula of chemicals which mix together upon contact and corrode ANY material! OVI KINTOBOR! Your knowledge of robotics, animals, and speed has led to the wonderful CHEMISTY ENGINES! And thanks to the fuel contributions one from each of you we now have PROPULSION FOR DAYS! And then IAN BRUNDLE your knowledge of machines that somehow create billows of smoke and create pure chaos has gifted us the smokescreen-inators to use for defense! When the other racers see this car they will be flying the horrible coupe at sonic speed! And once again thank you gentlemen for convincing me not to install that self-destruct switch. I swear it’s the worst habit of mine.”
*He drinks from a coffee mug with a red button on it.*
“Now it is time … head off to the obstacle course and win us THE SIPPY CUP!”
*As the car revs up Billy hops inside while Ian and Ivo climb into the truck with all the pit crew and repair equipment. Suddenly we hear …
The car drives out of the garage as from the shadows a silhouette of a platypus wearing a fedora leaps in and kicks the man on the catwalk in the gut spewing coffee everywhere. We hear a click and the coffee mug starts to beep.*
“WHAT OH NOT MY MORNING JOE! CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!!!!”
*The car and pit truck escape the garage as a small explosion knocks the man off the catwalk and into a pile of bratwurst down below.*
“I really need a new hobby …”
