Post by Dave D-Flipz on Aug 5, 2021 9:45:48 GMT -5
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
"Siiiiiiiiiiigh. *he sighs* I think something might be wrong with me."
"RRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
*The scene opens with the financial backer of the Angry Mad Chemists, and future ruler of the tristate area, Dr. Heinz Doofenschmirtz sitting in a back room surrounded by books, shadows, candles, and eldritch imagery. He is alone … which doesn’t explain the booming noise that just echoed in the room.*
"Well I mean, that is certainly one opinion! I don’t know if I subscribe to it! … Everyone’s a critic. I’m in a confused rut right now Phroooaggh!"
*The door to the back room opens and we see three faces peek into the Sanctum Sanctimonious. The shortest, William Lastname, Horrible Driver and Touchy-Feely Tushy owner, looks up at the two heads peering in above him. He has to brush the epic moustache of the next tallest, Ovi Kintobor, mechanic and hedgehog hater, out of his eyes*
"He’s been locked in this room since we told him the theme of the race and that Valentine’s was comi…"
*The door bursts open and 4 very indoctrinated looking cowboys bust into The Sanctum Sanctimonious and sing at Doof as the three heads in the door look on in horror. The tallest, Ian Brundle, looks down at the others … and slightly back as if looking at the butt of one of the smaller men.*
"Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse!
They’ll drive across the nation, masters of the craft.
If you bet against them well that’s just plain DAFT!
Billy’s juicy booty also functions as a raft …
A blast of floof, corrosive goop, they dominate the racing course.
Chemists, Chemists, Chemists, they’re mad!
The CAR officials tremble, the fans go off the cuff.
The other teams all just aren’t fast enough!
Let’s all adore the marvel of Billy’s Juicy Duff!
You got no chance, they’re just too much, The CHEMISTS WIN, signed Bad Horse!"
"RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
*The voice booms around the room as the Bad Horse Chorus runs in terror*
"It’s rude to scare away the indoctrinated hoards Phroooaggh!"
"Frog? Uh, frog? I don’t see a frog. I don’t see any uh… anyone else in the uh, sanctum, uh … um Doof."
"I’m not in the mood to explain my eldritch companion right now Ovi. I’m a divorcee! Valentine’s Day is always a sore spot for me. And my newly brained up brain is not helping me think of a solution. Apparently the eldritch aren’t the best in areas of love. I need a woman in my life who … who … WHO COULD SURVIVE A TENTACLE MONSTER VEHICLE LANDING ON HER! Where am I going to find that kind of love gentlemen?"
"Breeeeeee??"
"Seriously what is that echo?"
*Doof seems to light up. His eyes are … static? IS he having video broadcast into his head?*
"Oh … oh she’s brilliant … I … my heart is all aflutter! Oh wait …"
*he pushes a button and a whir sound stops. We hear a loud flatus from Billy as his butt deflates.*
"Oh … it wasn’t a side effect! GENTLEMEN! WE MUST WIN THIS NEXT RACE!"
"That was the plan yes. What makes this so special?"
"It’s about the love! If we win this race we will be responsible for saving the oxen love! And then I can impress the ladies AND make the Indoctrinator legal!"
*He storms off in a fit of joy to study his new crush. Everyone else just shrugs and walks away … we linger in the room*
"REEEEE … he forgot to hang up … damnit now how do I get out of here …"
"Siiiiiiiiiiigh. *he sighs* I think something might be wrong with me."
"RRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
*The scene opens with the financial backer of the Angry Mad Chemists, and future ruler of the tristate area, Dr. Heinz Doofenschmirtz sitting in a back room surrounded by books, shadows, candles, and eldritch imagery. He is alone … which doesn’t explain the booming noise that just echoed in the room.*
"Well I mean, that is certainly one opinion! I don’t know if I subscribe to it! … Everyone’s a critic. I’m in a confused rut right now Phroooaggh!"
*The door to the back room opens and we see three faces peek into the Sanctum Sanctimonious. The shortest, William Lastname, Horrible Driver and Touchy-Feely Tushy owner, looks up at the two heads peering in above him. He has to brush the epic moustache of the next tallest, Ovi Kintobor, mechanic and hedgehog hater, out of his eyes*
"He’s been locked in this room since we told him the theme of the race and that Valentine’s was comi…"
*The door bursts open and 4 very indoctrinated looking cowboys bust into The Sanctum Sanctimonious and sing at Doof as the three heads in the door look on in horror. The tallest, Ian Brundle, looks down at the others … and slightly back as if looking at the butt of one of the smaller men.*
"Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse!
They’ll drive across the nation, masters of the craft.
If you bet against them well that’s just plain DAFT!
Billy’s juicy booty also functions as a raft …
A blast of floof, corrosive goop, they dominate the racing course.
Chemists, Chemists, Chemists, they’re mad!
The CAR officials tremble, the fans go off the cuff.
The other teams all just aren’t fast enough!
Let’s all adore the marvel of Billy’s Juicy Duff!
You got no chance, they’re just too much, The CHEMISTS WIN, signed Bad Horse!"
"RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
*The voice booms around the room as the Bad Horse Chorus runs in terror*
"It’s rude to scare away the indoctrinated hoards Phroooaggh!"
"Frog? Uh, frog? I don’t see a frog. I don’t see any uh… anyone else in the uh, sanctum, uh … um Doof."
"I’m not in the mood to explain my eldritch companion right now Ovi. I’m a divorcee! Valentine’s Day is always a sore spot for me. And my newly brained up brain is not helping me think of a solution. Apparently the eldritch aren’t the best in areas of love. I need a woman in my life who … who … WHO COULD SURVIVE A TENTACLE MONSTER VEHICLE LANDING ON HER! Where am I going to find that kind of love gentlemen?"
"Breeeeeee??"
"Seriously what is that echo?"
*Doof seems to light up. His eyes are … static? IS he having video broadcast into his head?*
"Oh … oh she’s brilliant … I … my heart is all aflutter! Oh wait …"
*he pushes a button and a whir sound stops. We hear a loud flatus from Billy as his butt deflates.*
"Oh … it wasn’t a side effect! GENTLEMEN! WE MUST WIN THIS NEXT RACE!"
"That was the plan yes. What makes this so special?"
"It’s about the love! If we win this race we will be responsible for saving the oxen love! And then I can impress the ladies AND make the Indoctrinator legal!"
*He storms off in a fit of joy to study his new crush. Everyone else just shrugs and walks away … we linger in the room*
"REEEEE … he forgot to hang up … damnit now how do I get out of here …"
