Post by Dave D-Flipz on Aug 5, 2021 9:48:38 GMT -5
“DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!!”
"I can’t believe you idiots lost! How did you lose to a team sabotaging itself for us? IT’S EMBARRASSING! You embarrassed me. How does that make you feel?"
*We open our scene in a field of flowers. There are so many plants around the field of flowers that this must be a nightmare for allergy sufferers. There are pollen spores, those white floofy seed things, and dandelion things hovering in the air. We see the benefactor of the Angry Mad Chemists, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz giving a heck of a tongue lashing to his horrible driver William Lastname, who is seated on the hood of the CHEMISTRUCKINATOR! He appears to be unconcerned about his angry benefactor.*
"Doof, you worry too much. We managed to escape the Sippy Cup without being killed, exposed, or otherwise negatively impacted by the indoctrinator scandal! If we just lay low and do nothing about it, we will be able to keep winning races through my skill and our gadgets until we have the clout to take over the world!"
"Well, I just cannot believe my eyes. You know Billy, it’s a brand new day and the sun is high!"
"Yeah and the birds are singing etc etc, we all know the song, I wrote it, it’s in my vlogs. Stop trying to be cool. Where did you send Ovi and Ian anyhow?"
"Me? Oh I didn’t send them anywhere. They went with PHROOOAGGH to get some allergy meds. As it turns out the dragon body of the BURNINATOR that he possessed is very sensitive to hay fever, and pollen, and assorted sundries of summer. And when you sneeze fire … well … it’s why we’re outside. My Sanctum Sanctimonious is in shambles."
"So how do we combat this new course? I am not an allergy sufferer so, bully for me."
”BULLY FOR YOU INDEED!"
*Ovi and Ian saunter up to the car with various burns on their clothes and singes on Ovi’s moustache. The portly mechanic seems very upset about this current predicament. The chaotician weapons expert seems aloof as usual. He is smelling the flowers*
"Ah yes! Poppies, um, very pretty and um, beautiful. Poppies poppies heh heh um, yes…"
"You do realize that unlike that movie, poppies don’t have a narcotic or anesthetic effect in that form yes?"
"Ah but, you see, flowers, blooming flowers, in all forms, um, forms … are but a wonderful display of chaos in motion! The fractal, um, patterns, patterns of the petals and seed cores … the *sniffs* heavenly arom-uhs. It’s enough to almost soften this heart. Almost haha um."
"Well aren’t you just a regular Debbie Downer, killing the EVIL mood. Look gentlemen we need to win this race. It will provide me another CUP CUP GOLDEN JOCK STRAP! Then I can finally wash this one."
*All three members of the team look at the grotesque, corroded, stained, golden outer underwear of their boss and cringe. You can see the stink lines and flies around it.*
"After all, I need to win over that lovely Brie Mason!"
"RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEally did none of you show him the promotional footage?"
*PHROOOAGGH saunters up … a kleenex on fire stuffed in each nostril, a literal gallon of Dayquil in his beefy arm’s hand.*
"Wait what? WHAT HAVE YOU FOOLS DONE NOW!?"
"OH HUSH UP HEINZ! He means the video footage from the Esoteric Order of DUNCES! Those vile rotten fan favorite scoundrels. That himbo werewolf would be so much more useful as a soulless robot shell!"
"OH did Armbishi give birth? We need to send him a care package. Some diapers, some baby formula, … a miniaturized indoctrinator to bend him and the baby to our will … some baby powder."
"Uh … the um … offspring is already a fully grown British … um … hipster teenage killmachine?"
"RREEEEEEEEEEally wish you’d have gotten me THAT body you ignorant mortal wretches! This one almost seems designed by some wrestleman with boxing gloves on as he tries to draw and type."
"That aside, PHROOOAGGH, we are evil, not insensitive! He needs a proper baby shower. I’ll check the eldritch network and scare up some kind of proper gift. Let me just use my pocket TV to see what the chap looks like."
*They all look at each other and a look of concern crosses their faces*
"Um Doof? Maybe we should … uh … plan for the race? Not watch that promo. Let’s just turn that off … where’s my accursed freeze ray …"
*Doof sees the video and sees the adorable lovable baby*
"AAAAHHHH! KILL IT WITH FIRE! WHAT IS THAT HORRID THING!?"
"H.R. Car-Wolf?"
"No no, he’s adorable. Uncle Doof will teach him all about the birds, the bees, and the BOOMINATORS! No I mean that horrific thing … near the car and the book."
"… Dr. Dilbert? That’s the only normal member of their team! Um. Normal … uh … a relative term …and relatively meaningless in this fed."
"Oh he offends me so … wait… what is H.R. Car-Wolf doing? MY BRIE! NOOOOO! Oh good she’s alive … what’s a shaggoth?"
"… nobody tell him."
*One quick google search later … Oh god the images …*
"NOOO!"
*We open back up with Doof armed to the teeth with a sciency body armor outfit, some chemical weapons, some techno-science machines, and his eldritch book of magic and spells. He looks ready to go off on a crusade like the Mario brothers in the much maligned movie of that same name.*
"I’MA GONNA SAVE MY LADY!!! My golden jock strap will protect me and power my science gear! I WILL OBTAIN MY WOMAN!"
"*leaning into frame* I’m not helping him. *leans back out*"
"Doof this is madness!"
"Madness? NO THIS IS SCIENCE!”
*he meekly kicks the CHEMISTRUCKINATOR where the three teammates are sat after having followed him out of the garage. There is damage … Doof’s shoe falls apart and he hops on one leg holding his now red foot.*
"Well the ablative armor holds up at least."
"NOBODY STOP ME! I’M GOING OVER TO THOSE EOD CHAPS AND GIVE THEM A PIECE OF MY MIND!"
*The three men sigh and drive off to prepare for plant based carnage while Doof heads off to crusade!*
OPTIONAL RACE ENHANCER QUESTIONS!
1. Did you team take their allergy pills?
PHROOOAGGH: "RRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE-ally wish I didn't have to ... ACHOOOOOO!!!!"
Ovi: "BLASTED DRAGON STOP BURNING MY MOUSTACHE! Why are you the only one of us allergic?"
2. Which vine path will you take?
Billy: "The CHEMISTRUCKINATOR isn't so good with inclines, I'll have to setle for the 25 degree vine. But some well placed corrosives on the others ... and you'll be listening close to everybody's hearts and hearing that breaking sound."
3. How will you escape the mighty maw of the carnivorous plant?
Ian: "The monster uh ... carnivore plant ... uh... can be distracted with music, get it to um sing and um ... dance and you can get by it!"
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Ovi: "ANOTHER TRIUMPH OF SCIENCE OVER NATURE BAHAHAHAHAHA!"
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
PHROOOAGGH: "AH AH CHOOOOOO - *fire blasts everywhere* PHOOEY YOU ALL ARE INCOMPETANT AND USELESS! HOW WILL WE EVER TAKE OVER LIKE THIS?"
"I can’t believe you idiots lost! How did you lose to a team sabotaging itself for us? IT’S EMBARRASSING! You embarrassed me. How does that make you feel?"
*We open our scene in a field of flowers. There are so many plants around the field of flowers that this must be a nightmare for allergy sufferers. There are pollen spores, those white floofy seed things, and dandelion things hovering in the air. We see the benefactor of the Angry Mad Chemists, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz giving a heck of a tongue lashing to his horrible driver William Lastname, who is seated on the hood of the CHEMISTRUCKINATOR! He appears to be unconcerned about his angry benefactor.*
"Doof, you worry too much. We managed to escape the Sippy Cup without being killed, exposed, or otherwise negatively impacted by the indoctrinator scandal! If we just lay low and do nothing about it, we will be able to keep winning races through my skill and our gadgets until we have the clout to take over the world!"
"Well, I just cannot believe my eyes. You know Billy, it’s a brand new day and the sun is high!"
"Yeah and the birds are singing etc etc, we all know the song, I wrote it, it’s in my vlogs. Stop trying to be cool. Where did you send Ovi and Ian anyhow?"
"Me? Oh I didn’t send them anywhere. They went with PHROOOAGGH to get some allergy meds. As it turns out the dragon body of the BURNINATOR that he possessed is very sensitive to hay fever, and pollen, and assorted sundries of summer. And when you sneeze fire … well … it’s why we’re outside. My Sanctum Sanctimonious is in shambles."
"So how do we combat this new course? I am not an allergy sufferer so, bully for me."
”BULLY FOR YOU INDEED!"
*Ovi and Ian saunter up to the car with various burns on their clothes and singes on Ovi’s moustache. The portly mechanic seems very upset about this current predicament. The chaotician weapons expert seems aloof as usual. He is smelling the flowers*
"Ah yes! Poppies, um, very pretty and um, beautiful. Poppies poppies heh heh um, yes…"
"You do realize that unlike that movie, poppies don’t have a narcotic or anesthetic effect in that form yes?"
"Ah but, you see, flowers, blooming flowers, in all forms, um, forms … are but a wonderful display of chaos in motion! The fractal, um, patterns, patterns of the petals and seed cores … the *sniffs* heavenly arom-uhs. It’s enough to almost soften this heart. Almost haha um."
"Well aren’t you just a regular Debbie Downer, killing the EVIL mood. Look gentlemen we need to win this race. It will provide me another CUP CUP GOLDEN JOCK STRAP! Then I can finally wash this one."
*All three members of the team look at the grotesque, corroded, stained, golden outer underwear of their boss and cringe. You can see the stink lines and flies around it.*
"After all, I need to win over that lovely Brie Mason!"
"RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEally did none of you show him the promotional footage?"
*PHROOOAGGH saunters up … a kleenex on fire stuffed in each nostril, a literal gallon of Dayquil in his beefy arm’s hand.*
"Wait what? WHAT HAVE YOU FOOLS DONE NOW!?"
"OH HUSH UP HEINZ! He means the video footage from the Esoteric Order of DUNCES! Those vile rotten fan favorite scoundrels. That himbo werewolf would be so much more useful as a soulless robot shell!"
"OH did Armbishi give birth? We need to send him a care package. Some diapers, some baby formula, … a miniaturized indoctrinator to bend him and the baby to our will … some baby powder."
"Uh … the um … offspring is already a fully grown British … um … hipster teenage killmachine?"
"RREEEEEEEEEEally wish you’d have gotten me THAT body you ignorant mortal wretches! This one almost seems designed by some wrestleman with boxing gloves on as he tries to draw and type."
"That aside, PHROOOAGGH, we are evil, not insensitive! He needs a proper baby shower. I’ll check the eldritch network and scare up some kind of proper gift. Let me just use my pocket TV to see what the chap looks like."
*They all look at each other and a look of concern crosses their faces*
"Um Doof? Maybe we should … uh … plan for the race? Not watch that promo. Let’s just turn that off … where’s my accursed freeze ray …"
*Doof sees the video and sees the adorable lovable baby*
"AAAAHHHH! KILL IT WITH FIRE! WHAT IS THAT HORRID THING!?"
"H.R. Car-Wolf?"
"No no, he’s adorable. Uncle Doof will teach him all about the birds, the bees, and the BOOMINATORS! No I mean that horrific thing … near the car and the book."
"… Dr. Dilbert? That’s the only normal member of their team! Um. Normal … uh … a relative term …and relatively meaningless in this fed."
"Oh he offends me so … wait… what is H.R. Car-Wolf doing? MY BRIE! NOOOOO! Oh good she’s alive … what’s a shaggoth?"
"… nobody tell him."
*One quick google search later … Oh god the images …*
"NOOO!"
*We open back up with Doof armed to the teeth with a sciency body armor outfit, some chemical weapons, some techno-science machines, and his eldritch book of magic and spells. He looks ready to go off on a crusade like the Mario brothers in the much maligned movie of that same name.*
"I’MA GONNA SAVE MY LADY!!! My golden jock strap will protect me and power my science gear! I WILL OBTAIN MY WOMAN!"
"*leaning into frame* I’m not helping him. *leans back out*"
"Doof this is madness!"
"Madness? NO THIS IS SCIENCE!”
*he meekly kicks the CHEMISTRUCKINATOR where the three teammates are sat after having followed him out of the garage. There is damage … Doof’s shoe falls apart and he hops on one leg holding his now red foot.*
"Well the ablative armor holds up at least."
"NOBODY STOP ME! I’M GOING OVER TO THOSE EOD CHAPS AND GIVE THEM A PIECE OF MY MIND!"
*The three men sigh and drive off to prepare for plant based carnage while Doof heads off to crusade!*
OPTIONAL RACE ENHANCER QUESTIONS!
1. Did you team take their allergy pills?
PHROOOAGGH: "RRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE-ally wish I didn't have to ... ACHOOOOOO!!!!"
Ovi: "BLASTED DRAGON STOP BURNING MY MOUSTACHE! Why are you the only one of us allergic?"
2. Which vine path will you take?
Billy: "The CHEMISTRUCKINATOR isn't so good with inclines, I'll have to setle for the 25 degree vine. But some well placed corrosives on the others ... and you'll be listening close to everybody's hearts and hearing that breaking sound."
3. How will you escape the mighty maw of the carnivorous plant?
Ian: "The monster uh ... carnivore plant ... uh... can be distracted with music, get it to um sing and um ... dance and you can get by it!"
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Ovi: "ANOTHER TRIUMPH OF SCIENCE OVER NATURE BAHAHAHAHAHA!"
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
PHROOOAGGH: "AH AH CHOOOOOO - *fire blasts everywhere* PHOOEY YOU ALL ARE INCOMPETANT AND USELESS! HOW WILL WE EVER TAKE OVER LIKE THIS?"
