Post by Dave D-Flipz on Aug 5, 2021 9:49:17 GMT -5
"WHERE IS THAT FOOL! I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE! I REQUIRE BENADRYL! I NEED A PARTY OUTFIT TO FIT OVER MY WINGALINGS AND BIG BEEFY NECK ARM!"
"You, uh, need volume control … just because we um, are, um, out of doors … outside … doesn’t mean you can interrupt us hehe, with your loudness."
"Not like we’re even doing anything worth worrying about Ian. Let the creature have his temper tantrum. In fact, I’ll solve it."
*We open up on a picnic table in the middle of a green space in the middle of a mountainous area. It appears for once, the Angry Mad Chemists are in North Carolina early for their CAR race. We find Ovi Kintobor, the mechanic for the Chemists, sitting at a table with a deck of cards in front of him. In his hands, as well as those of Billy (the driver) and Ian (the weapons expert), are five cards. Ovi lays his cards face down on the table and pulls a remote from his belt. He pushes a button and a badnik shaped like a crab rolls out from under the table and rockets away. PHROOOAGGH sees this and his eyes go wide.*
"CRAB LEGS FOR DINNER! BURNINATION IMMINENT!"
*The dragon possessed by the spirit of an Old One runs after the crab on his stick legs while belching fire.*
"Remind me why we didn’t force him to go with Doof again?"
*Billy also lays down his hand and asks the table this question with an obvious answer. Ian then places his hand on the table and raises an eyebrow.*
"Yes, let’s uh, all go and try and force an eldritch horror in the body of um, a, uh, fantasy creature, to um … obey our science and leave us alone for uh, cards require silence."
"It has been nice with some relaxation time though chaps. We aren’t all wound up, no gadgets being tested on us. I almost feel lazy. Have we even prepared for this event at all?"
"It’s a retread of some old favorites again. I should be able to handle anything the course throws at us. I’m not worried. Let’s just enjoy the peace and quiet."
*The dragon runs by in the background trying to catch the crab-bot.*
"This really is a nice location for a bit of R&R&R. Rest, relaxation, and robots. Really makes you wonder why Doof drives us so hard. This is the best we’ve felt going into a race."
"This is the first race where I haven’t had to have my butt drained of Indoctrinator side effect fluid in months. Does he even really need another gold codpiece?"
"I’m, uh, sure there’s a motive behind uh, all this. World domination and such."
"I mean, we have our amazing scientific prowess, help from eldritch magics, a machine that ACTUALLY makes people bend to our will, an amazing driving machine, an orbital satellite …"
"And also a dragon, possessed by some eldritch old God, and wacky side effects. I wonder if the brain boost he got at first isn’t harming his overall abilities."
*Just then a platypus in a fedora leaps into view and looks around, he looks confused.*
"*chattering sound*"
"Hmm? Oh Agent P? Oh no Doof went on a rescue mission to Arkham, Mass. Not sure when he’s coming home. I’m sure he’s doing fine though."
"Huh … well … THAT was unusual. Who knew they were so flammable. I hope that other team doesn’t have access to any good lawyers."
*After burning down the home of the Esoteric Order of Driving, Dr. Doof sits on a curb watching the fire. His face is read from a heavy slap, no doubt from Brie Mason for costing her her new slave labor.*
"I should have brought the indoctrinator …"
"I’ll let him know you were looking for him though."
*Billy turns to grab some popcorn off the table.*
"You’re welcome to buy in and have some…"
*He turns but Agent P is long gone.*
"Hey … where’s Perry?"
"Ok guys, break’s uh um … over. Let’s finish this up and go get uh … food. There’s a restaurant called Gamekeeper. I wish to uh … sample the uh … delicacies of the rare meats!"
"Mmm … maybe they have Hedgehog hasenpfeffer. Ok let’s play."
*The camera turns to see the fourth spot at the table occupied by four cowboys with epic moustaches. The Bad Horse Chorus.*
"Bad Cards, Bad Cards, No Hand, No HAND!
We drove across the nation, to sit here at this bench.
Threatened by these gentlemen with a monkey wrench!
Our salaries have faltered, and now our asses clench…
We lay them down, we fold this hand, let’s bugger off now, to Bad Horse!"
*They lay down the hand and vanish off the corners of the screen.*
"I have no clue how they do that."
"Well gentlemen … "
*Billy lays down three cards*
"I’ll take three."
"Heheh! Ha! Um … Go Fish!"
*Ovi slams his fist on the table*
"Damnit man for the last time that ISN’T WHAT WE’RE PLAYING!"
*Upon hearing the mention of fish, Phroooaggh flies over and burns the table and the cards … and the money …*
"GIVE ME ALL THE PESCATARIAN DELIGHT! RRRRRREEEEEEEEEE!"
"… … … relaxing … … shoulda gone with Doof."
*Billy draws the only unburned card … and sits face to face with a joker.*
1. Describe the confetti.
Ian: All this paper, fluttering, uh … by the cars. It can’t be good for the uh … internal … um combustion. Perhaps we should uh … cover the field with DOOF FLOOF. HEH Haha ha heh!
2. Any concerns about Mt. HoldMaBeer?
Billy: It didn’t stop us last time … why would it now?
3. Do you want a corner piece or a center piece of cake?
Billy: Piece? No no. We take the whole damn cake. Or ELSE!
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Ovi: It’s almost like being relaxed and calm for a race is a good strategy.
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Phroooaggh: CLEARLY DOOF ISN’T THE PROBLEM! RRRREEEEE!!!!
"You, uh, need volume control … just because we um, are, um, out of doors … outside … doesn’t mean you can interrupt us hehe, with your loudness."
"Not like we’re even doing anything worth worrying about Ian. Let the creature have his temper tantrum. In fact, I’ll solve it."
*We open up on a picnic table in the middle of a green space in the middle of a mountainous area. It appears for once, the Angry Mad Chemists are in North Carolina early for their CAR race. We find Ovi Kintobor, the mechanic for the Chemists, sitting at a table with a deck of cards in front of him. In his hands, as well as those of Billy (the driver) and Ian (the weapons expert), are five cards. Ovi lays his cards face down on the table and pulls a remote from his belt. He pushes a button and a badnik shaped like a crab rolls out from under the table and rockets away. PHROOOAGGH sees this and his eyes go wide.*
"CRAB LEGS FOR DINNER! BURNINATION IMMINENT!"
*The dragon possessed by the spirit of an Old One runs after the crab on his stick legs while belching fire.*
"Remind me why we didn’t force him to go with Doof again?"
*Billy also lays down his hand and asks the table this question with an obvious answer. Ian then places his hand on the table and raises an eyebrow.*
"Yes, let’s uh, all go and try and force an eldritch horror in the body of um, a, uh, fantasy creature, to um … obey our science and leave us alone for uh, cards require silence."
"It has been nice with some relaxation time though chaps. We aren’t all wound up, no gadgets being tested on us. I almost feel lazy. Have we even prepared for this event at all?"
"It’s a retread of some old favorites again. I should be able to handle anything the course throws at us. I’m not worried. Let’s just enjoy the peace and quiet."
*The dragon runs by in the background trying to catch the crab-bot.*
"This really is a nice location for a bit of R&R&R. Rest, relaxation, and robots. Really makes you wonder why Doof drives us so hard. This is the best we’ve felt going into a race."
"This is the first race where I haven’t had to have my butt drained of Indoctrinator side effect fluid in months. Does he even really need another gold codpiece?"
"I’m, uh, sure there’s a motive behind uh, all this. World domination and such."
"I mean, we have our amazing scientific prowess, help from eldritch magics, a machine that ACTUALLY makes people bend to our will, an amazing driving machine, an orbital satellite …"
"And also a dragon, possessed by some eldritch old God, and wacky side effects. I wonder if the brain boost he got at first isn’t harming his overall abilities."
*Just then a platypus in a fedora leaps into view and looks around, he looks confused.*
"*chattering sound*"
"Hmm? Oh Agent P? Oh no Doof went on a rescue mission to Arkham, Mass. Not sure when he’s coming home. I’m sure he’s doing fine though."
"Huh … well … THAT was unusual. Who knew they were so flammable. I hope that other team doesn’t have access to any good lawyers."
*After burning down the home of the Esoteric Order of Driving, Dr. Doof sits on a curb watching the fire. His face is read from a heavy slap, no doubt from Brie Mason for costing her her new slave labor.*
"I should have brought the indoctrinator …"
"I’ll let him know you were looking for him though."
*Billy turns to grab some popcorn off the table.*
"You’re welcome to buy in and have some…"
*He turns but Agent P is long gone.*
"Hey … where’s Perry?"
"Ok guys, break’s uh um … over. Let’s finish this up and go get uh … food. There’s a restaurant called Gamekeeper. I wish to uh … sample the uh … delicacies of the rare meats!"
"Mmm … maybe they have Hedgehog hasenpfeffer. Ok let’s play."
*The camera turns to see the fourth spot at the table occupied by four cowboys with epic moustaches. The Bad Horse Chorus.*
"Bad Cards, Bad Cards, No Hand, No HAND!
We drove across the nation, to sit here at this bench.
Threatened by these gentlemen with a monkey wrench!
Our salaries have faltered, and now our asses clench…
We lay them down, we fold this hand, let’s bugger off now, to Bad Horse!"
*They lay down the hand and vanish off the corners of the screen.*
"I have no clue how they do that."
"Well gentlemen … "
*Billy lays down three cards*
"I’ll take three."
"Heheh! Ha! Um … Go Fish!"
*Ovi slams his fist on the table*
"Damnit man for the last time that ISN’T WHAT WE’RE PLAYING!"
*Upon hearing the mention of fish, Phroooaggh flies over and burns the table and the cards … and the money …*
"GIVE ME ALL THE PESCATARIAN DELIGHT! RRRRRREEEEEEEEEE!"
"… … … relaxing … … shoulda gone with Doof."
*Billy draws the only unburned card … and sits face to face with a joker.*
1. Describe the confetti.
Ian: All this paper, fluttering, uh … by the cars. It can’t be good for the uh … internal … um combustion. Perhaps we should uh … cover the field with DOOF FLOOF. HEH Haha ha heh!
2. Any concerns about Mt. HoldMaBeer?
Billy: It didn’t stop us last time … why would it now?
3. Do you want a corner piece or a center piece of cake?
Billy: Piece? No no. We take the whole damn cake. Or ELSE!
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Ovi: It’s almost like being relaxed and calm for a race is a good strategy.
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Phroooaggh: CLEARLY DOOF ISN’T THE PROBLEM! RRRREEEEE!!!!
