Getting a Bear (Greg Adkins CD)
Aug 13, 2021 13:14:43 GMT -5
Dave D-Flipz, Venom 🕷, and 2 more like this
Post by vastrix on Aug 13, 2021 13:14:43 GMT -5
The zoo.
The last place that you would expect to find “Guttertrash” Greg Adkins. He’s walking alone with a bag of popped corn that he munches on while he walks down the different areas. He stops and watches as a monkey in a cage scratches his butt, sniffs the fingers, and falls out of the tree. Greg spits out popcorn while laughing at the scene.
Greg Adkins: That would make for a funny viral video.
Greg continues to walk through the zoo. Looking to the big cats, the crocodiles, the camels, and you know what you have in the zoo. Eventually he stops at the Kodiak bear exhibit. He munches on his popcorn as he watches the bear play with a pair of nunchucks that had been left in the exhibit for the bear to find.
A small boy pulls on Greg’s shirt. He looks down to see the little boy, who might be all of five years old. Greg looks around for the parents and sees them a few feet down, also engrossed in the antics of the bear.
Little Boy: Can I have some popcorn, mister?
Greg Adkins: Do I look like your parents? Why would you ask me for popcorn?
Little Boy: You see my parents? They don’t have popcorn. You do.
Greg gives it some consideration. The boy does have a point. His parents do not have any popcorn on them. An idea forms in Greg’s head as he looks from the boy to the zookeeper just walking out from behind the bear cage.
Greg Adkins: Ok, but only if you do something for me first.
Little Boy: Anything, mister!
Greg Adkins: Great.
Greg whispers directions to the boy, who nods, and heads straight for the zookeeper. He pulls on the zookeeper’s shirt just like he had done to Greg Adkins.
Little Boy: Have you seen my daddy? I’m lost.
Zookeeper: No, I haven’t, but let’s see about finding him. Okay? What’s your name?
The little boy stomps his foot and looks angry at the zookeeper.
Little Boy: You don’t need my name, sucka. I’m looking for my daddy and not myself!
Greg Adkins walks into the scene.
Greg Adkins: Johnny, my son!
The little boy runs to hug Greg and is handed the tub of popcorn for his efforts.
Greg Adkins: Thank you for finding my son!
Greg gives the zookeeper a big hug, lifting the smaller man off of his feet.
Zookeeper: I need to breathe!
Greg sets the zookeeper down, putting the zookeeper’s set of keys into his pocket unseen while the zookeeper catches his breath.
Zookeeper: You are most welcome, man. Just keep an eye on little Johnny-hey, where is he?
Greg looks around to see that the little boy has rejoined his parents and have moved on to the next exhibit. They don’t even seem to question where he got the popcorn.
Greg Adkins: He’s with his parents I guess? I don’t know that kid.
The zookeeper scratches at his head while looking at Greg, but eventually let’s it go and heads on his way. Greg heads around the back of the Kodiak bear cage and flips through the keys to find the right one to get into the exhibit.
The Kodiak bear is still sitting there and playing with the nunchucks. Greg lights a joint and sort of muses to himself.
Greg Adkins: This would also make for a good viral video.
The bear sniffs at the air, looking around to see that Greg is standing not far behind him with a smoking joint in hand. The bear drops the nunchucks and rolls to be on all fours as he walks over to Greg while giving him a curious look. He’s standing nearly six foot tall from paw to shoulder. Greg swallows hard as the bear sniffs at him.
Greg Adkins: Hey, big guy. Magnus has big plans for you…I guess. You wanna blow this popsicle stand and come with me?
By now a few people have come to point and watch the crazy man inside the exhibit with the biggest bear in the world. Greg inhales deep of his joint and blows the smoke into the bear’s face. Why? Do I look like I know what the fuck Greg is thinking? The bear sneezes and rises up on his hind legs to get to a towering twelve feet tall. He roars in Greg’s face. Spittle flies into Greg’s face and he closes his eyes against the roar as if it might protect him or something.
Greg drops the now soggy joint to the ground. Magnus had told him to get the biggest bear that he could. Just not how or what to do once he gets the bear. Especially when this bear is eying him like a dog might a favorite chew toy. The bear raises a clawed paw to slash Greg open when Greg does the only thing that comes to mind. He hugs the bear.
The bear stops his downward slashing motion and awkwardly pats Greg on the back with an endearing sound.
Greg Adkins: Yeah, this is nice. Nice bear. Whatcha workin’ with, bear?
The awwws and other endearing sounds from the crowd turn into disgusted sounds and shocked cries as Greg reaches down to stroke the bear’s penis. This definitely gets the bear’s attention and he roars in anger again. Greg drops the keys and heads out through the open exhibit door with the bear in hot pursuit.
Other zoo patrons run out of the way as the bear chases Greg, who is leading them both toward the entrance of the zoo.
Greg Adkins: I thought you were that kind of bear, man! I had no idea!
Greg hits the exit turnstile running with the bear hot on his heels. However, it seems as if the bear cannot figure out how to go through the turnstile. Eventually, grabs the whole thing, rips it out of the ground, and tosses it to the side in his anger and need to follow Greg Adkins.
Now by this point, the general populace of the zoo has started to panic and the zookeepers are following the bear and trying to distract him long enough for Greg to get away and the keepers who have the training to get the tranq rifles to put the bear to sleep. You know, before someone dies.
Greg bolts through the parking lot and into the open back of a waiting cube truck. Two men in black military uniforms come around as the bear bounds into the open cube truck. They open fire with their tanq rifles to try to sedate the bear for travel.
For his part, the bear grabs Greg by the shoulders, spins him around, and tries to fuck him. Greg tries to resist, but he is still wearing pants so the big, bold bear penis only goes between his thighs instead of in his asshole.
The bear quickly tires out from holding the struggling Greg, trying to fuck him, and the several tanq darts in his back. He falls to the side, sleeping soundly. Greg Adkins comes to the opening of the back of the cube truck, bleeding from his shoulders where the bear accidentally gouged him. He smiles wearily.
Greg Adkins: That was fun. Should we do it again?
The two guards watch as Greg tries to get out of the back of the cube truck and point their tranq rifles at him. Greg looks at them with a wary smile.
Greg Adkins: What is it?
Guard: You are going with the bear in the back to calm him in case he wakes up.
Greg Adkins: With what?
Guards: You’ll figure it out.
The guards shoot a few darts into Greg. He falls backwards onto his butt and onto his back.
Greg Adkins: Well fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuucck….
Greg lays on the floor of the truck while the doors are being closed and locked. Greg sits up and slowly plucks the darts out. While he is feeling drunk from the tranquilizer darts, he’s not out. Thanks to the stress that he puts on his own system on a daily basis. He looks over at the sleeping bear with a smile.
Greg Adkins: Sleep easy, bear. Magnus is going to have fun with you.
The last place that you would expect to find “Guttertrash” Greg Adkins. He’s walking alone with a bag of popped corn that he munches on while he walks down the different areas. He stops and watches as a monkey in a cage scratches his butt, sniffs the fingers, and falls out of the tree. Greg spits out popcorn while laughing at the scene.
Greg Adkins: That would make for a funny viral video.
Greg continues to walk through the zoo. Looking to the big cats, the crocodiles, the camels, and you know what you have in the zoo. Eventually he stops at the Kodiak bear exhibit. He munches on his popcorn as he watches the bear play with a pair of nunchucks that had been left in the exhibit for the bear to find.
A small boy pulls on Greg’s shirt. He looks down to see the little boy, who might be all of five years old. Greg looks around for the parents and sees them a few feet down, also engrossed in the antics of the bear.
Little Boy: Can I have some popcorn, mister?
Greg Adkins: Do I look like your parents? Why would you ask me for popcorn?
Little Boy: You see my parents? They don’t have popcorn. You do.
Greg gives it some consideration. The boy does have a point. His parents do not have any popcorn on them. An idea forms in Greg’s head as he looks from the boy to the zookeeper just walking out from behind the bear cage.
Greg Adkins: Ok, but only if you do something for me first.
Little Boy: Anything, mister!
Greg Adkins: Great.
Greg whispers directions to the boy, who nods, and heads straight for the zookeeper. He pulls on the zookeeper’s shirt just like he had done to Greg Adkins.
Little Boy: Have you seen my daddy? I’m lost.
Zookeeper: No, I haven’t, but let’s see about finding him. Okay? What’s your name?
The little boy stomps his foot and looks angry at the zookeeper.
Little Boy: You don’t need my name, sucka. I’m looking for my daddy and not myself!
Greg Adkins walks into the scene.
Greg Adkins: Johnny, my son!
The little boy runs to hug Greg and is handed the tub of popcorn for his efforts.
Greg Adkins: Thank you for finding my son!
Greg gives the zookeeper a big hug, lifting the smaller man off of his feet.
Zookeeper: I need to breathe!
Greg sets the zookeeper down, putting the zookeeper’s set of keys into his pocket unseen while the zookeeper catches his breath.
Zookeeper: You are most welcome, man. Just keep an eye on little Johnny-hey, where is he?
Greg looks around to see that the little boy has rejoined his parents and have moved on to the next exhibit. They don’t even seem to question where he got the popcorn.
Greg Adkins: He’s with his parents I guess? I don’t know that kid.
The zookeeper scratches at his head while looking at Greg, but eventually let’s it go and heads on his way. Greg heads around the back of the Kodiak bear cage and flips through the keys to find the right one to get into the exhibit.
The Kodiak bear is still sitting there and playing with the nunchucks. Greg lights a joint and sort of muses to himself.
Greg Adkins: This would also make for a good viral video.
The bear sniffs at the air, looking around to see that Greg is standing not far behind him with a smoking joint in hand. The bear drops the nunchucks and rolls to be on all fours as he walks over to Greg while giving him a curious look. He’s standing nearly six foot tall from paw to shoulder. Greg swallows hard as the bear sniffs at him.
Greg Adkins: Hey, big guy. Magnus has big plans for you…I guess. You wanna blow this popsicle stand and come with me?
By now a few people have come to point and watch the crazy man inside the exhibit with the biggest bear in the world. Greg inhales deep of his joint and blows the smoke into the bear’s face. Why? Do I look like I know what the fuck Greg is thinking? The bear sneezes and rises up on his hind legs to get to a towering twelve feet tall. He roars in Greg’s face. Spittle flies into Greg’s face and he closes his eyes against the roar as if it might protect him or something.
Greg drops the now soggy joint to the ground. Magnus had told him to get the biggest bear that he could. Just not how or what to do once he gets the bear. Especially when this bear is eying him like a dog might a favorite chew toy. The bear raises a clawed paw to slash Greg open when Greg does the only thing that comes to mind. He hugs the bear.
The bear stops his downward slashing motion and awkwardly pats Greg on the back with an endearing sound.
Greg Adkins: Yeah, this is nice. Nice bear. Whatcha workin’ with, bear?
The awwws and other endearing sounds from the crowd turn into disgusted sounds and shocked cries as Greg reaches down to stroke the bear’s penis. This definitely gets the bear’s attention and he roars in anger again. Greg drops the keys and heads out through the open exhibit door with the bear in hot pursuit.
Other zoo patrons run out of the way as the bear chases Greg, who is leading them both toward the entrance of the zoo.
Greg Adkins: I thought you were that kind of bear, man! I had no idea!
Greg hits the exit turnstile running with the bear hot on his heels. However, it seems as if the bear cannot figure out how to go through the turnstile. Eventually, grabs the whole thing, rips it out of the ground, and tosses it to the side in his anger and need to follow Greg Adkins.
Now by this point, the general populace of the zoo has started to panic and the zookeepers are following the bear and trying to distract him long enough for Greg to get away and the keepers who have the training to get the tranq rifles to put the bear to sleep. You know, before someone dies.
Greg bolts through the parking lot and into the open back of a waiting cube truck. Two men in black military uniforms come around as the bear bounds into the open cube truck. They open fire with their tanq rifles to try to sedate the bear for travel.
For his part, the bear grabs Greg by the shoulders, spins him around, and tries to fuck him. Greg tries to resist, but he is still wearing pants so the big, bold bear penis only goes between his thighs instead of in his asshole.
The bear quickly tires out from holding the struggling Greg, trying to fuck him, and the several tanq darts in his back. He falls to the side, sleeping soundly. Greg Adkins comes to the opening of the back of the cube truck, bleeding from his shoulders where the bear accidentally gouged him. He smiles wearily.
Greg Adkins: That was fun. Should we do it again?
The two guards watch as Greg tries to get out of the back of the cube truck and point their tranq rifles at him. Greg looks at them with a wary smile.
Greg Adkins: What is it?
Guard: You are going with the bear in the back to calm him in case he wakes up.
Greg Adkins: With what?
Guards: You’ll figure it out.
The guards shoot a few darts into Greg. He falls backwards onto his butt and onto his back.
Greg Adkins: Well fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuucck….
Greg lays on the floor of the truck while the doors are being closed and locked. Greg sits up and slowly plucks the darts out. While he is feeling drunk from the tranquilizer darts, he’s not out. Thanks to the stress that he puts on his own system on a daily basis. He looks over at the sleeping bear with a smile.
Greg Adkins: Sleep easy, bear. Magnus is going to have fun with you.