Post by Timeless on Aug 20, 2021 2:23:23 GMT -5
(This is a joint Prime Time promo by both Primal and Timeless)
English Narrator Voice Over : Welcome to Couples Come Dine With Me. 3 couples each host a dinner party and score each other's parties out of twenty, righto then, let's get to it.
[Tonight's hosts are a well to do retired couple from London. A red haired pregnant lady and her African beaded haired girlfriend, they tick all the stereo type boxes in one package. Annnnd, NPW’s Tag Team Champions. Prime Time. Shot of Prime Time walking to the front door of the elder couple's door, their tag straps on their shoulders. They ring the bell and greet and enter. The girls then arrive and we see them all making some chit chat in the backyard before the entree is served.]
[Entree is Baked chicken meatballs with garlic-dill yogurt sauce. It seems to be going down well.]
Timeless : This is wonderful. So, how long have you two been together?
Alan : We married 40 years ago.
Judy : (his bubbly wife) You get less for murder.
[They all laugh.]
Primal : How about you girls?
Rachel : (Red Head) 4 years.
Amanda : (African) Four wonderful years.
Judy : Add another Zero on that and see if it's still so ‘wonderful’.
[They all laugh some more and Alan goes out and brings in the main course. Roast Lamb and potatoes and veg.]
Timeless : When are you due Rachel?
[Everyone goes quiet and they all stare at him like he said the wrong thing.]
Timeless : What? You are pregnant aren’t you?
Primal : *surprisingly self-aware for him* Uh … hey Alan, the mint jam on this lamb is simply sublime! ... Should bring some to Buttons...
Rachel : Well, yes I am. But that’s a very personal question.
[Timeless scoffs]
Judy : Personal? You are up the duff lady or you aren’t. You can’t be half pregnant you know.
Primal : Well that’s not exactly true, I’ve seen some interesting cases. Not even in the jungle, it was the college campus!
Amanda : We are 7 months pregnant. It’s a personal topic, many do judge, you know.
Timeless : (scoffs) What you gonna call the kid? How about Precious?
[They all give him ‘the look’ and he starts eating the roast lamb.]
Primal : Or um … Furnunculus!
Alan : You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Primal : No … do you kiss your mother at this age Alan?
Alan : Your naming skills need work, clearly you're not the brains of your operation are you?
Primal : IT’S A PERFECTLY CROMULENT WORD!
Timeless : Yeah Al! Cromulent!
Alan : What about you two? What’s your story?
Primal : Ah you know, standard odd couple business partners. We fought, tried to kill each other. Joined together for mutual benefits. And now I make artwork and apparel. Make bank too!
Judy : Oh my! Do you have any art here? Do you have materials to make some?
Timeless : And then some lady … you … don’t wanna know.
Primal : NONSENSE! This is polite dinner conversation, I can indulge them a little.
Timeless This is gonna end well ...
Primal : How about I show you all when we host our party.
[Switch to Alan bringing out the desert. A good old fashioned custard tart.]
Judy : So boys. What business are you in?
Timeless : We wrestle Judy.
Primal : Damn fine at it also.
Rachel : Wrestle? Isn’t that all fake?
Primal *blinks* Not as far as I know. I’ve hurt quite a few people in my day.
Timeless : What we do, is we kick ass! We are Timeless and Primal. Two of the biggest and baddest to step foot in the ring. Collectively, we are the NPW Imperial Tag Team Champions and known as ... Prime Time!
Alan : I’ve never heard of it. Must be like … Canadian or something.
Primal ... Just because you aren’t wrong doesn’t make that any less hurtful.
Timeless : Coming up we face the team of HNDRXX and Joseph Mack.
Primal : Alex have we even seen Joseph Mack around lately. I don’t recall seeing him involved in anything. Why is HE getting a shot at us?
Timeless : He’s been buddying up to HNDRXX. They kinda remind me of that last course we just ate. Lambs to the slaughter.
[Rachel drops her spoon dramatically being once again offended and we then cut to the after party scores. Prime Time said they enjoyed the meal and the company and give it a solid 15. The girls complained it was very basic food that anyone could make and score it a 12.]
[Switch the girls dinner party. They talk up their menu to the cameras and start off with a Cheese Souffle. Unfortunately it came out of the oven flat and didn't rise, the guests were polite enough as Rachel was very apologetic.]
[Main course was beef Wellington, but it was overcooked, and the pastry had the dreaded soggy bottoms!]
Primal Is the meat supposed to be wetting its pants?
Timeless : I have had wrestlers boots as tough as this in the ring kicking me.
Rachel : The polite thing to say would be, ‘this isn’t the best I have ever tasted.”
Primal : Speak for yourself, I’ve eaten roadkill more appetizing than this.
Judy : If you want polite, don’t enter a cooking contest show lovie.
[For dessert, it's all or nothing, and they go for broke with a Creme Brulee. And, they knock it out of the park. The guests are seen scarfing it and reveling in how good it is.]
Primal : I never wanted white creamy goo in my mouth more than right now.
Timeless : In our wrestling world, this desert would be called, the hot tag.
[We switch to the scores. Prime Time give them an 11. The dessert saving an all out disaster. The oldies score them an 11 also.]
Alan : Can’t wait to taste YOURS … *rolls eyes*
Primal : You have no idea what we have in store. Unlike our opponents. They know EXACTLY what’s coming their way.
