Post by Roy "The Sorrow" Harlowe (NJC) on Aug 22, 2021 20:21:47 GMT -5
BREAKING NEWS SEGMENT
WELCOME TO REV TV!!!
The graphics and loud explosive triumphant news the music begins loudly playing over the screen as Neo James Carner is seated behind a news desk with a painted grin.
NJC: "Hello and welcome to ReVTV! We have breaking news for you here."
Neo clears his throat, exaggerating his every moment adjusting the tie on his collar.
NJC: "The ReVenants are the greatest tag team in the world. There, I said it, I interrupted your broadcast of Golden Girls to bring you that special report."
Neo says with a snide chuckle.
NJC: "Now we go to Mason Murdock, our recently signed heavy with the weather."
The camera shifts to Mason Murdock standing in front of a weather green screen splattered in a crimson fluid that makes the weather forecast look like a decrepit mess. Mason is just holding a sign that reads "Showers Of Pain" as he just tilts his head into the lens, staring back from those hollowed out eyes of darkness. The camera shifts back to Neo at his desk, adjusting his cards.
NJC: "Anyone know where I can get a grilled chicken BLT? I want some avocado slices on that, have Stu the intern get it..Oh! Welcome back folks."
Jeff Noon saunters into frame, seeming very disgruntled and a little miffed.
Jeff: "Wait, are you replacing me on the weather with that giant silent monster? I told you I could do the weather, I just didn't want to be locked into that room!"
Neo slams his fist into the desk in response, commanding respect on his own show.
NJC: "No! You knew the rules of your agreement for being a weatherman! I can't have you in my studio stinking up the place with your rutabaga body wash ruining my studio! I have guests on this show, and they can't stomach the smell of ya. Why, Lynx has to have heightened wild cat-like senses, he can probably smell ya from his carpeted kitty tower."
Jeff groans in frustration as he stomps off, Neo shaking his hand at Jeff to get off his set.
Jeff: "I'm telling Rob!"
A technical difficulties sign appears while the words of the two can still be heard.
NJC: "Rob agrees with me! Why do you think he always has you running errands for him!? Your stench is unbearable."
The graphic disappears as Neo turns his attention to camera 3 which he turns to face changing the entire angle of the scene.
NJC: "Have you enjoyed a Huckleberry Slender Brand cigarette?"
A very tasteful artsy brand of cigarettes appears that says " NOT AN AD***"
NJC: "It's pure robust tasteful bliss, and I wasn't paid an exorbitant amount of money to advertise that here on this show, my lawyer advised me to say that last part."
Neo adjusts his collar and turns to the hard cam facing forward again.
NJC: "Five thousand dollars, I put up five grand for anybody to grow a set and take out Jesse Jamester. Nobody has done it yet, now does that mean Jesse is out there fighting bounty hunters on the road, always on the run and always feeling moments away from feeling the sting of a paid hitman. Alas, nobody has come to collect and I mean...I get it…"
Neo says pulling out a fat wad of cash, a literal brick sized wad of cash. Neo looks at it and then smirks.
NJC: "That's 5 grand, it doesn't look like much right? Just a brick of cash right? I mean, sure it's a couple hundreds and mostly one's to make it look fancy for television, but maybe that's just not enough for people. Maybe nobody wants strip club fodder for a free handy! So let's double it."
Neo throws another wad of cash out onto the news desk, this one is mostly smaller.
NJC: "The bank ran out of one's so this one is actually all hundreds, so it's not as impressive. But together, this is ten grand! That's more than some of you curtain jerking jerks make in the first six months of your contract! You want to make something of yourself? Take out Jesse Jamester! Save me the trouble, I've always been a man to get what I need done with my wits! Takes a real genius to use his finances to rule the world of professional wrestling because money makes everything talk! And when Neo James Carner talks, the money starts printing!"
Neo says fanning the cash, the fluttering sound of the paper filling the air.
NJC: "Jesse Jamester wants this bounty to get cashed in, he doesn't wanna step into the ring with Neo James Carner! I'm doing him a favor, Jesse would be wise to thank me. He doesn't want the pissed off Keith Williams that's got boiling blood coursing through his veins with a throbbing hatred growing inside of him! Keith lays your ass out Jesse, I'll gladly give him the bounty!"
Neo snickers as he tosses the cash back onto the desk.
NJC: "Lynx would be wise to cash it in himself! You DON'T want to get into that ring with The ReVenants! You step in the ring with Thr ReVenants, you're going to get hurt! You've earned the ass whipping of a lifetime Jesse and you've dragged Lynx into the crosshairs of a gatling gun in the middle of a minefield."
Neo claps his hands together with a grin.
NJC: "And we've got infinite ammo my little G.I. Joe friend. Jesse, Lynx, you're in troubles come August 25th, you mark that date on your calendar and remember it well. This defeat is going to hurt for some time, me, Keith, and my monster Mason Murdock will be coming to take the VICTORY!"
YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING REVTV
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATRONAGE
**Actually an ad
WELCOME TO REV TV!!!
The graphics and loud explosive triumphant news the music begins loudly playing over the screen as Neo James Carner is seated behind a news desk with a painted grin.
NJC: "Hello and welcome to ReVTV! We have breaking news for you here."
Neo clears his throat, exaggerating his every moment adjusting the tie on his collar.
NJC: "The ReVenants are the greatest tag team in the world. There, I said it, I interrupted your broadcast of Golden Girls to bring you that special report."
Neo says with a snide chuckle.
NJC: "Now we go to Mason Murdock, our recently signed heavy with the weather."
The camera shifts to Mason Murdock standing in front of a weather green screen splattered in a crimson fluid that makes the weather forecast look like a decrepit mess. Mason is just holding a sign that reads "Showers Of Pain" as he just tilts his head into the lens, staring back from those hollowed out eyes of darkness. The camera shifts back to Neo at his desk, adjusting his cards.
NJC: "Anyone know where I can get a grilled chicken BLT? I want some avocado slices on that, have Stu the intern get it..Oh! Welcome back folks."
Jeff Noon saunters into frame, seeming very disgruntled and a little miffed.
Jeff: "Wait, are you replacing me on the weather with that giant silent monster? I told you I could do the weather, I just didn't want to be locked into that room!"
Neo slams his fist into the desk in response, commanding respect on his own show.
NJC: "No! You knew the rules of your agreement for being a weatherman! I can't have you in my studio stinking up the place with your rutabaga body wash ruining my studio! I have guests on this show, and they can't stomach the smell of ya. Why, Lynx has to have heightened wild cat-like senses, he can probably smell ya from his carpeted kitty tower."
Jeff groans in frustration as he stomps off, Neo shaking his hand at Jeff to get off his set.
Jeff: "I'm telling Rob!"
A technical difficulties sign appears while the words of the two can still be heard.
NJC: "Rob agrees with me! Why do you think he always has you running errands for him!? Your stench is unbearable."
The graphic disappears as Neo turns his attention to camera 3 which he turns to face changing the entire angle of the scene.
NJC: "Have you enjoyed a Huckleberry Slender Brand cigarette?"
A very tasteful artsy brand of cigarettes appears that says " NOT AN AD***"
NJC: "It's pure robust tasteful bliss, and I wasn't paid an exorbitant amount of money to advertise that here on this show, my lawyer advised me to say that last part."
Neo adjusts his collar and turns to the hard cam facing forward again.
NJC: "Five thousand dollars, I put up five grand for anybody to grow a set and take out Jesse Jamester. Nobody has done it yet, now does that mean Jesse is out there fighting bounty hunters on the road, always on the run and always feeling moments away from feeling the sting of a paid hitman. Alas, nobody has come to collect and I mean...I get it…"
Neo says pulling out a fat wad of cash, a literal brick sized wad of cash. Neo looks at it and then smirks.
NJC: "That's 5 grand, it doesn't look like much right? Just a brick of cash right? I mean, sure it's a couple hundreds and mostly one's to make it look fancy for television, but maybe that's just not enough for people. Maybe nobody wants strip club fodder for a free handy! So let's double it."
Neo throws another wad of cash out onto the news desk, this one is mostly smaller.
NJC: "The bank ran out of one's so this one is actually all hundreds, so it's not as impressive. But together, this is ten grand! That's more than some of you curtain jerking jerks make in the first six months of your contract! You want to make something of yourself? Take out Jesse Jamester! Save me the trouble, I've always been a man to get what I need done with my wits! Takes a real genius to use his finances to rule the world of professional wrestling because money makes everything talk! And when Neo James Carner talks, the money starts printing!"
Neo says fanning the cash, the fluttering sound of the paper filling the air.
NJC: "Jesse Jamester wants this bounty to get cashed in, he doesn't wanna step into the ring with Neo James Carner! I'm doing him a favor, Jesse would be wise to thank me. He doesn't want the pissed off Keith Williams that's got boiling blood coursing through his veins with a throbbing hatred growing inside of him! Keith lays your ass out Jesse, I'll gladly give him the bounty!"
Neo snickers as he tosses the cash back onto the desk.
NJC: "Lynx would be wise to cash it in himself! You DON'T want to get into that ring with The ReVenants! You step in the ring with Thr ReVenants, you're going to get hurt! You've earned the ass whipping of a lifetime Jesse and you've dragged Lynx into the crosshairs of a gatling gun in the middle of a minefield."
Neo claps his hands together with a grin.
NJC: "And we've got infinite ammo my little G.I. Joe friend. Jesse, Lynx, you're in troubles come August 25th, you mark that date on your calendar and remember it well. This defeat is going to hurt for some time, me, Keith, and my monster Mason Murdock will be coming to take the VICTORY!"
YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING REVTV
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATRONAGE
**Actually an ad
