Slain Brain Pain
Jun 10, 2017 11:13:12 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 2 more like this
Post by Slainmaker on Jun 10, 2017 11:13:12 GMT -5
** A door creaks open and Slain sheepishly peeks around the side before stepping through into an office. He is greeted by a professional looking woman in a white coat with a smile. She gestures him into the room. **
DOCTOR:
Please, take a seat.
SLAIN:
No thanks. I'm a bit nervous so if you don't mind I'll just have a sit down.
DOCTOR:
Perhaps you'd like a glass of water?
SLAIN:
Would that drown the butterflies in my stomach?
DOCTOR:
I can see you're anxious so let's make this as brief as possible. To cut to the chase, I'm afraid to say the results are positive.
SLAIN:
Oh thank god.
DOCTOR:
The evidence of concussion we found was plentiful and substantial. It is clear that as feared it has been something your body has had to respond to numerous times over the years and this has left you extremely prone to further damage.
SLAIN:
I could have told you that but I was hoping you wouldn't pick up on it.
DOCTOR:
Well it's a good thing we did because any further ring action could have been catastrophic.
SLAIN:
Um, are you forgetting I'm a wrestler? I need to be able to wrestle to wrestle! How am I supposed to hold a title for more than a month? And how am I supposed to win one? The last time I obtained a title without the wrestling part the taxpayer ended up with a big prison bill. Imagine if you were the taxpayer. I don't think you've thought this through at all. Can I at least do submission wrestling?
DOCTOR:
No.
SLAIN:
Tag wrestling?
DOCTOR:
No.
SLAIN:
Independents have to be okay they don't really count.
DOCTOR:
No.
SLAIN:
Women's wrestling?
DOCTOR:
No.
SLAIN:
Arm wrestling?
DOCTOR:
No... I mean yes. Any employer that checks for medical clearance will no longer get approval to employ you for professional wrestling competition.
SLAIN:
You think people actually check that in my line of work? There are ways around that. Speaking of which, what happened to that fat bribe I coughed up back there? Where's your honour?
DOCTOR:
That was my fee.
SLAIN:
Oh yeah, America.
DOCTOR:
There's usually a period of adjustment to a change like this but I urge you to accept it. All licensed promoters have to get clearance for liability reasons.
SLAIN:
I don't understand it. My schedule is light I basically just get followed around by this camera like I'm on reality TV. You know, maybe I will take that glass of water. As you know usually I only eat and drink wrestling, but I guess it's time to makes some changes. I guess from now on instead of peeing wrestling I'll be peeing pee, right?
** The doctor offers an understanding nod and leaves the room shortly, returning with the glass. Slain takes it and is gestured to stop as he moves to pour it into his mouth from overhead. He drinks in silence before again being ushered away from an effort to smash the glass into his forehead. Forlorn, he places the glass on the desk and gets up to his feet. There is a warm handshake. **
DOCTOR:
Good luck.
** Slain faces the ceiling and spits the water so that it showers over him and begins to flex. He makes eye contact with the doctor and starts to cry. **
SLAIN:
This is... I... this is difficult for me. There's only one thing I can do at this point. I have to go meditate in a cave.
Coming up... the cave!
DOCTOR:
Please, take a seat.
SLAIN:
No thanks. I'm a bit nervous so if you don't mind I'll just have a sit down.
DOCTOR:
Perhaps you'd like a glass of water?
SLAIN:
Would that drown the butterflies in my stomach?
DOCTOR:
I can see you're anxious so let's make this as brief as possible. To cut to the chase, I'm afraid to say the results are positive.
SLAIN:
Oh thank god.
DOCTOR:
The evidence of concussion we found was plentiful and substantial. It is clear that as feared it has been something your body has had to respond to numerous times over the years and this has left you extremely prone to further damage.
SLAIN:
I could have told you that but I was hoping you wouldn't pick up on it.
DOCTOR:
Well it's a good thing we did because any further ring action could have been catastrophic.
SLAIN:
Um, are you forgetting I'm a wrestler? I need to be able to wrestle to wrestle! How am I supposed to hold a title for more than a month? And how am I supposed to win one? The last time I obtained a title without the wrestling part the taxpayer ended up with a big prison bill. Imagine if you were the taxpayer. I don't think you've thought this through at all. Can I at least do submission wrestling?
DOCTOR:
No.
SLAIN:
Tag wrestling?
DOCTOR:
No.
SLAIN:
Independents have to be okay they don't really count.
DOCTOR:
No.
SLAIN:
Women's wrestling?
DOCTOR:
No.
SLAIN:
Arm wrestling?
DOCTOR:
No... I mean yes. Any employer that checks for medical clearance will no longer get approval to employ you for professional wrestling competition.
SLAIN:
You think people actually check that in my line of work? There are ways around that. Speaking of which, what happened to that fat bribe I coughed up back there? Where's your honour?
DOCTOR:
That was my fee.
SLAIN:
Oh yeah, America.
DOCTOR:
There's usually a period of adjustment to a change like this but I urge you to accept it. All licensed promoters have to get clearance for liability reasons.
SLAIN:
I don't understand it. My schedule is light I basically just get followed around by this camera like I'm on reality TV. You know, maybe I will take that glass of water. As you know usually I only eat and drink wrestling, but I guess it's time to makes some changes. I guess from now on instead of peeing wrestling I'll be peeing pee, right?
** The doctor offers an understanding nod and leaves the room shortly, returning with the glass. Slain takes it and is gestured to stop as he moves to pour it into his mouth from overhead. He drinks in silence before again being ushered away from an effort to smash the glass into his forehead. Forlorn, he places the glass on the desk and gets up to his feet. There is a warm handshake. **
DOCTOR:
Good luck.
** Slain faces the ceiling and spits the water so that it showers over him and begins to flex. He makes eye contact with the doctor and starts to cry. **
SLAIN:
This is... I... this is difficult for me. There's only one thing I can do at this point. I have to go meditate in a cave.
Coming up... the cave!