Post by Dave D-Flipz on Aug 28, 2021 0:19:27 GMT -5
THEN:
Death Trap: Chaos … odd question … Do you know how to get sticky white goo out of your hair?
*DT looks at the gorilla glue on the table where the hat was sitting and mumbles about Keith Williams as the laughter on the other end of the phone becomes uproarious and we hear:*
Mistress Discipline: Chaos? Who is it? What is so funny? I have so many questions!
*The laughter subsides.*
Dr. Chaos: Ok ok, I’m good. *sigh* Now tell me …*stifling a chuckle* what in the blazes are you asking me?!
*DT stops and thinks about what he just said.*
Death Trap: Oh uh … yeah. I see now. Well I came into SWAT for the big match with Armand. And I’m amped right? Well, Rally and Keith are having a rib off. So I walk in and immediately found the “hidden” camera in my locker. Ya know the full sized TV camera pointing at the changing area surrounded and “hidden” by eco-friendly Rally Jackson merch.
Dr. Chaos: Amateur.
Mistress Discipline: Chaos put it on speaker. I wish to hear the conversation.
*Chaos obviously does this as we hear the voices shift and more noise comes through the phone.*
Dr. Chaos: Rally Jackson sucks at hiding cameras hon.
Sarah: SHOWERHEAD Y’ALL!
*We hear a commotion that a more astute listener would know is Sarah being smothered by Chaos and silenced … as gently as possible*
Dr. Chaos: HAHA NO SARAH! It was right in his locker room in the open! How foolish right!?
Mistress Discipline: Yes, but what does this have to do with the statement that caused you to fall off the couch in laughter, Chaos?
Dr. Chaos: *holding in laughter again* He asked! … He asked! *FALLS DOWN LAUGHING* DO I KNOW HOW TO GET STICKY WHITE GOO FROM HIS HAIR!
*We can clearly hear a whole hearted belly-laugh from the CAR medical expert.*
Mistress Discipline: Death Trap, what kind of recreational activities have you been engaging in?
Death Trap: … I uh … put on a hat?
Dr. Chaos: In my school days we called them rubbers.
*we hear another laugh and a loud sigh*
Mistress Discipline: I am not quite sure I understand.
Death Trap: There was a DT signature bowler hat in the room. On the table. Waiting for me. Was so engrossed in laying down the law to that bastard Armand, I didn’t even think that my own hat was in the bag. And uh … now the hat is uh … stuck … to my hair … and scalp.
Mistress Discipline: Have you tried yanking it off?
*Chaos again rolls on the floor laughing*
Dr. Chaos: PH … PH … PHRAHAHAHAHAHA … PHRASING!
Sarah: GOO GONE Y’ALL!
*Death Trap ponders this as he again tries to yank the hat off.*
Death Trap: Ow … ow … yeah, no, this is not coming off. I don’t have time to worry about it before my match. But … let’s remember I owe Keith Williams for this rib. I’m sure he’s busting a gut thinking about this.
Dr. Chaos: Or a NUT! AM I RIGHT!?
*Mistress can be heard picking up the phone and taking it off speaker*
Mistress Discipline: I am afraid we will not be getting anything useful out of her again the rest of the night. Look, go to your match, win, and then we can figure out how to remove your hat.
Death Trap: Yeah … yeah that makes sense. Gonna be so weird wrestling in my hat … but … I guess I won’t lose it this way!
Mistress Discipline: I admire your positivity in this time of adversity. But please do to Armand what I did to Primal? I am getting tired of talking to you from your hospital bed.
NOW:
*We find Death Trap walking into the back entrance of the arena. He has his hat on and his hoodie as well. He walks into a locker room and sets his hat on the table by the door. His head has been shaved to remove the offending hat. This is now the second time this company has forced him to shave his beloved hair off.
"Just when I think I’m out … they pull me back in again."
*He tosses the hoodie to the side as he sits on the bench near the lockers and looks into the camera. He is already in his ring attire, his match happening much earlier on the show on this stacked card.*
"I thought I’d finally get a break. I thought for sure I’d be tangling with a Keith Williams or a Devin DeAndre. I was expecting to see something new and fun. But here we are again, locked in eternal mortal combat with the KGB. If Linda is the heart and Radu was the soul of SWAT, then the KGB are the colon. Festering, constantly causing problems, sometimes involving fire and shit, and overall not something anyone wants to see or hear … or smell. And even at that, it couldn’t be the hired muscle. It couldn’t be the founder or the Amazon’s champ, who actually have a sense of … normalcy, off as that may sound … about them. No I get the international supercriminal and the escapee from Arkham Asylum. Seriously, we are one more arson away from flying echolocating mammal man showing up."
*DT sighs. He gets up and begins to pace around the room as he thinks.*
"It’s not that I don’t love knocking these idiots down a peg. It’s not like I’m getting tired. Despite what Soutter would want you to believe, I am not retiring anytime soon. But it’s hard to keep putting on epic, 5 star, Death Trap worthy main attractions against the same guys. Especially when they aren’t trying to outwrestle you. I swear Armand is a few stabbings away from being another Zoran Sainovic… no …"
*DT stops and holds up his finger for a minute as if in realization.*
"No that’s not fair to the final boss. Dear old daddy actually COULD wrestle on his own and win. He actually had a flair for the dramatic and could put on a solid showing. He didn’t NEED to stab you or call in an army to win. Though to be fair, that makes it worse. But Armand is just a pale shadow of what Der Komissar was. The rise and fall of Zoran was so ridiculous that the criminal who stabbed people on screen got a memorial banner for the 20th anniversary of the XHF! Though … to be fair… so did Hyperion and Brad Swann … and I think they’ve done far worse than even Zoran."
*DT sits back down and glares into the camera, his eyes radiating with a fire … as much as his head is reflecting the light.*
"Armand, it no longer amuses me to keep making you look like a fool. I’ve beaten you fairly twice now, despite your best efforts. I’ve proven myself the better submission wrestler. I’ve proven myself to be exactly as advertised. We don’t need to keep doing this. You can move on to fighting people more on your skill level … like Jeffrey Viper or Funaki. And I’ll go have some match of the year candidates with the roster of stacked talent in SWAT. David Vector, Eddie D, Jonnie V, Blaze, The Fairtexes, Cross Recoba, Goth! There are so many great names that DT could elevate. There is so much I could give to this roster and the fans. I don’t need titles, just a stage and a cheering crowd. Linda and I could put on a clinic for funsies. Better than anything you’ll see out of Frostbite anyway."
*DT thinks on what he just said. He sighs. This is not going to be a pretty match. No six star show tonight. It’s no wonder the match is behind such bangers as Jonnie v Eddie. DT laughs and smirks at the camera*
"Hey Frosty. How’s the world’s most ironic ring name doing on this fine evening? I haven’t seen anyone on fire in the medic area, so I guess not so great."
*He folds his hands and looks over them with a look of empathy*
"When’s the last time you saw a doctor Frosty? And I mean a shrink. Not the kind who make you turn your head and cough. … There’s a joke to be made there but I’m better than that."
*Conversations with his tag partner not withstanding ……*
"Look Frostbite, you got one thing right. I have been around XHF a long time. I’ve been at the top for 17 years now. I’ve seen and done a lot. And I gotta say … you are not special. You may think I’ve never stepped in the ring with a man like you before. But violent assholes with a fire fetish and some brain problems are a dime a dozen when your world champion can be a pig or a bear. So spare me the same talk you give to the green talent. Let’s at least respect the fact that we’ve both seen and done a lot in this business. I’m sure you’ve faced down some incredible submission wrestlers, maybe even some great martial artists. And yeah. Some of them may be more willing to bend the rules to be at an advantage than I am. Call me old fashioned, or narcissistic, but I don’t like leaning on crutches to get done what I can do with my own hands. And experience or not? Nothing will stop me from choking the life out of you in the ring the same way I did to your partner last show."
*DT laughs and holds up his hand for a minute. He then point at the screen with a “you know what” look on his face*
"But hey, you are right. I’ve really only done this in two places. ECF and XHF. I’m not as well traveled in the dregs of the wrestling world, so sue me. But here’s the thing. When you are already on top of the biggest mountain in the world? Why would you make a fuss about climbing the unique molehills? I was on top of the best fed in the world. As evidenced by the fact that you all came HERE. But let’s not dwell on inconsequential matters. After all, where we’ve been successful isn’t important. What is important is throwing hands tonight. And I couldn’t ask for a better partner to take it to you raging assholes. Linda’s been making it her business to ruin your day for a while now. And I’m excited to step in the ring with her. A high flying counterpart to my strike and submission assault."
*DT rocks back and launches off the bench to his feet.*
"KGB, listen up. You are the ones who have the misfortune to keep getting embarrassed by the best technical wrestler in the world. You are the ones who are stuck against Death Trap and Lucky Linda. Not your lucky day is it? But then you know what they say Frosty, actions speaking louder than words yeah? In my time I was one of the loudest talkers in the game. I tired myself out running out on house shows and running down my opponents. And it didn’t do me a lick of good. You know what did? Refining my talents. Getting better. Gaining experience. Going to war and coming out a better man. But you wanted to hear me talk, guess there’s always a first for everything, you got it. Hope it’s been enlightening. Because the only thing you’ll hear after I finish with you? Is the EKG monitor in the hospital."
*Fade out*
