Breaking Grounds (Tag RP)
Sept 2, 2021 2:37:23 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Venom đź•·, and 5 more like this
Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Sept 2, 2021 2:37:23 GMT -5
**Asbury Park, New Jersey. Construction site of the Curtis D. Kanyon Presidential Library. Daytime.**
*Curtis is standing behind a podium that's placed in front of a big dirt patch. Mounds of dirt, planks of wood, and random construction trucks all around behind. In front of Curtis, the press.*
: Ladies and gentlemen, we’re gathered here today to celebrate the start of construction on my library. I am about to break ground, get those cameras ready!
: We use phones now.
*Curtis turns toward the dirt patch. But then turns back around.*
: Wait! Before I forget…
: Oh no, this is going to devolve into a wrestling promo, isn't it?
: I have a match at GUNS I need to talk about. A team called Bad Luck Inc. Is cashing in a title shot. And I have to ask myself… who? They're from JROK you know. And my wife, she's over there kicking add and taking names, and I says to my wife I says, "who's Bad Luck Inc.?" And do you know what she tells me? She tells me, "I have no clue dear." Can you believe that? They're challenging the BANG! Bros, and they ain't even somebodies. These yahoos are facing a former President and a current movie star, and those are only our side gigs.
: Why does CNN make me cover this? These things are always promos.
: So I did the googling thing all you kids are into, and I saw these chumps. They look like they're some guys you'd find in the MMA D leagues. They look like two of the lesser known characters in Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2. They've got faces that make onions cry. They're like an appendix, they serve no purpose and cause stomach issues whenever people realize they exist. Seriously, you’re making JROK money, you could afford to get some face surgery. You know which one of you I’m talking to.
: Oof, I just googled them, yeah, it’s obvious.
: But it’s not about how ugly you are, it’s about how you wrestle. I hope it’s good. I tried to read about one of your latest matches. You fought against my Secretary of Hardcore in a match with donkeys. You lost, which makes sense because she is ferocious. But still being able to wrestle after facing Dar? That shows you have some toughness. But I read the report that “One took a massive dump on the steps.” I can’t find from any sources, was it a donkey, or was it one of you?
: Okay, this is getting gross.
: Seriously, we’re out of here.
*The press start to get up to leave.*
: No, wait wait! Sorry. Okay, I’ll wrap this up. Bad Luck Inc, we're gonna beat you up! So uh, no hard feels? K, thanks! Now, onto the breaking ground ceremony!
*Curtis turns around and grabs a shovel. He looks at it and then throws it as far away as he can. He then pulls his trusty sledgehammer from under the podium and heads over to the dirt. He then lifts his mighty hammer into the air, and slams it into the ground! A puff of dust encircles the former president, and when the cloud disperses, we see a small circle imprinted into the dirt.*
: Huh, maybe the shovel would have been better?
**Fade out.
Fade in. Asbury Park, New Jersey. Construction site of the Curtis D. Kanyon Presidential Library. Later that day.**
*Curtis Kanyon is sitting in a lawn chair, watching the construction workers going to work on his library. An empty chair is next to him, but not for long, as fellow ex-president Barack Obama sits down, holding two beers. Obama pops off the caps with his wedding ring and hands one to Curtis.*
: Ah, this is the life, eh? Watching dudes build buildings in your honor?
: Yeah, pretty great. I’m surprised you raised all the funds to get this built.
: I did what now?
: You do know you have to foot the bill right? I mean, you can use any non-profit donations too.
: Um… homie say what?
: And to find a place willing to let you, that’s fantastic. My library still hasn’t even broken ground due to challenges from people in the Chicago community who don’t want me to build there.
: I need approval where I am building my library? The government doesn’t just do all that for me?
: No of course not. You already get secret service for life and a traveling budget. They don’t do your library. You have to find the property and pay for everything. I mean, you can have the government take over, but you still need to foot sixty percent of the bill.
: You know so much about this topic, it’s like you recently googled it or something.
: I told you, I’ve been spending years on it. So are you telling me these guys aren’t getting paid?
: No, they’ll get their pound of flesh. I guess it’ll just come out of my pocket then.
: And the site? You have no permits? No deeds?
: I just thought this side of the park looked pretty.
: Oh boy, now I’m really going to stick around and watch the fireworks.
: Heh heh, yeah, should be fun. But not for me! ...oh wait…
: I’m surprised you’re not out here with your tag team partner.
: Yeah, Steve is off filming a movie somewheres. But we’re on a similar wave length otherwise, we good. Plus, I’ll probably be hanging with him tomorrow talking crap about the guy I already beat with my other tag team partner who wants to step up again for the titles I’m about to defend at the GUNS Show.
: You’re finally in the good fed. That one’s my favorite. James Mueller is so fucking cool.
: Hey! Well… I hate Fireside, so I guess I’ll allow it.
: Speaking of your tag partner, Malia was wondering if you can get Steve's autograph for her? He’s her favorite.
: Oh yeah, for sure. I mean. I could probably get her a set visit.
: Oh hell no. I’m not letting my daughters anywhere near that man.
: Ha ha, good call.
*They cheers and drink.*
: So, you really not sweating these Bad Luck guys then? Already planning ahead.
: Oh no, that’s my secret. I sweat everybody. You think I can be as violent and crazy to all of my opponents if I thought I could just stroll right over them. For all I know, these two yahoos are technical wizards hiding in JROK, waiting to strike when the time is right. Just in case, I have to break one of their limbs before they try to twist me into a pretzel. Besides, Thor would never want me to half ass it.
: Wow, that’s a vicious way to think about it.
: That’s why I’m a champ baby! Times two!
*The cheers again.*
: So… I really have to pay for all this?
**Fade out.**
*Curtis is standing behind a podium that's placed in front of a big dirt patch. Mounds of dirt, planks of wood, and random construction trucks all around behind. In front of Curtis, the press.*
: Ladies and gentlemen, we’re gathered here today to celebrate the start of construction on my library. I am about to break ground, get those cameras ready!
: We use phones now.
*Curtis turns toward the dirt patch. But then turns back around.*
: Wait! Before I forget…
: Oh no, this is going to devolve into a wrestling promo, isn't it?
: I have a match at GUNS I need to talk about. A team called Bad Luck Inc. Is cashing in a title shot. And I have to ask myself… who? They're from JROK you know. And my wife, she's over there kicking add and taking names, and I says to my wife I says, "who's Bad Luck Inc.?" And do you know what she tells me? She tells me, "I have no clue dear." Can you believe that? They're challenging the BANG! Bros, and they ain't even somebodies. These yahoos are facing a former President and a current movie star, and those are only our side gigs.
: Why does CNN make me cover this? These things are always promos.
: So I did the googling thing all you kids are into, and I saw these chumps. They look like they're some guys you'd find in the MMA D leagues. They look like two of the lesser known characters in Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2. They've got faces that make onions cry. They're like an appendix, they serve no purpose and cause stomach issues whenever people realize they exist. Seriously, you’re making JROK money, you could afford to get some face surgery. You know which one of you I’m talking to.
: Oof, I just googled them, yeah, it’s obvious.
: But it’s not about how ugly you are, it’s about how you wrestle. I hope it’s good. I tried to read about one of your latest matches. You fought against my Secretary of Hardcore in a match with donkeys. You lost, which makes sense because she is ferocious. But still being able to wrestle after facing Dar? That shows you have some toughness. But I read the report that “One took a massive dump on the steps.” I can’t find from any sources, was it a donkey, or was it one of you?
: Okay, this is getting gross.
: Seriously, we’re out of here.
*The press start to get up to leave.*
: No, wait wait! Sorry. Okay, I’ll wrap this up. Bad Luck Inc, we're gonna beat you up! So uh, no hard feels? K, thanks! Now, onto the breaking ground ceremony!
*Curtis turns around and grabs a shovel. He looks at it and then throws it as far away as he can. He then pulls his trusty sledgehammer from under the podium and heads over to the dirt. He then lifts his mighty hammer into the air, and slams it into the ground! A puff of dust encircles the former president, and when the cloud disperses, we see a small circle imprinted into the dirt.*
: Huh, maybe the shovel would have been better?
**Fade out.
Fade in. Asbury Park, New Jersey. Construction site of the Curtis D. Kanyon Presidential Library. Later that day.**
*Curtis Kanyon is sitting in a lawn chair, watching the construction workers going to work on his library. An empty chair is next to him, but not for long, as fellow ex-president Barack Obama sits down, holding two beers. Obama pops off the caps with his wedding ring and hands one to Curtis.*
: Ah, this is the life, eh? Watching dudes build buildings in your honor?
: Yeah, pretty great. I’m surprised you raised all the funds to get this built.
: I did what now?
: You do know you have to foot the bill right? I mean, you can use any non-profit donations too.
: Um… homie say what?
: And to find a place willing to let you, that’s fantastic. My library still hasn’t even broken ground due to challenges from people in the Chicago community who don’t want me to build there.
: I need approval where I am building my library? The government doesn’t just do all that for me?
: No of course not. You already get secret service for life and a traveling budget. They don’t do your library. You have to find the property and pay for everything. I mean, you can have the government take over, but you still need to foot sixty percent of the bill.
: You know so much about this topic, it’s like you recently googled it or something.
: I told you, I’ve been spending years on it. So are you telling me these guys aren’t getting paid?
: No, they’ll get their pound of flesh. I guess it’ll just come out of my pocket then.
: And the site? You have no permits? No deeds?
: I just thought this side of the park looked pretty.
: Oh boy, now I’m really going to stick around and watch the fireworks.
: Heh heh, yeah, should be fun. But not for me! ...oh wait…
: I’m surprised you’re not out here with your tag team partner.
: Yeah, Steve is off filming a movie somewheres. But we’re on a similar wave length otherwise, we good. Plus, I’ll probably be hanging with him tomorrow talking crap about the guy I already beat with my other tag team partner who wants to step up again for the titles I’m about to defend at the GUNS Show.
: You’re finally in the good fed. That one’s my favorite. James Mueller is so fucking cool.
: Hey! Well… I hate Fireside, so I guess I’ll allow it.
: Speaking of your tag partner, Malia was wondering if you can get Steve's autograph for her? He’s her favorite.
: Oh yeah, for sure. I mean. I could probably get her a set visit.
: Oh hell no. I’m not letting my daughters anywhere near that man.
: Ha ha, good call.
*They cheers and drink.*
: So, you really not sweating these Bad Luck guys then? Already planning ahead.
: Oh no, that’s my secret. I sweat everybody. You think I can be as violent and crazy to all of my opponents if I thought I could just stroll right over them. For all I know, these two yahoos are technical wizards hiding in JROK, waiting to strike when the time is right. Just in case, I have to break one of their limbs before they try to twist me into a pretzel. Besides, Thor would never want me to half ass it.
: Wow, that’s a vicious way to think about it.
: That’s why I’m a champ baby! Times two!
*The cheers again.*
: So… I really have to pay for all this?
**Fade out.**