Believe

[Frank Windsor]

At a NPW House Show in Nova Scotia.

“Take it Easy, Chicken” by Mansun blasted out of the sound system, and the entire ramp way opened up as a battered, old Vauxhall Astra careered down it at a reckless pace. It screeched to a halt just before the ring.

Out of the shitted up old car Rob Riot and Billy Fowler exited both wore limited edition “BASTARDS WORLD TOUR” t-shirts. The car was a two door model so Fowler tried to move the seat forward so the third member of the team could exit the smashed up vehicle.

Eventually Riot just opened up the boot and Frank Windsor exited the vehicle that way. The crowds cheered loudly as the Bastards slowly made their way into the ring. Fowler leaned over the ropes and grabbed three microphones and handed them out.

Frank Windsor walked forward taping on his microphone.

“So did you see it?” Frank asked. “Did you see what happened? Robbie and I have got our shot at the current NPW Tag Champions on the next episode of NPW Honour. Yes I said Honour as we’re in a country that speaks proper English not that simplified version they speak down South.”

A cheer went up as he walked around.

“Anyway it’ll soon be time to bring that gold home to the greatest team in all of professional wrestling. People were asking us constantly if we were in or out; I didn’t know what they were flapping their gums at,” he said. “Were they really asking me about Riot’s sex life with his secret admirer or were we going to go grab us more gold for the group?”

Rob Riot shrugged his shoulders.

“People called the Bastards many things so it was inevitable that the Sultans of the Schlong Style save this company from the cancer that is within,” he said. “But I am a bit of ahead of myself, bit like Donzig’s sex life with his leftie.”

He turned and motioned to the first guy.

“This guy doesn’t really need any introductions but I will,” Frank said. “He is a multi-time champion in all the promotions that he was in and in the last promotion we were all in he hung out with some bird. The feathery kind, he is Billy Fowler!!!!”

Billy leaned over the ropes and held his arms up high as the crowds cheered loudly. A strange look crossed his face.

“Frank, that guy in the crowd’s giving me a funny look dude,” Billy said.

“Maybe he’s still squinting from the blast Billy?” Frank asked. “Didn’t you see the bomb the Bastards dropped on the last show we were on when we qualified to be given the tag championship belts?”

“Burn!” Billy said.

Rob Riot pulled out a book from his back pocket and proceeded to open it. The camera picked up the title. “Rules of Breaking Kayfabe.”

“Rule 26 say’s Faces can insult the owners for comedy effect,” Rob said. “So that’s fine Frank.”

Frank smirked as he walked around.

“And this man, the holder of the rules has held more World Championship title belts than Hunter Valentyne’s been fired from wrestling promotions; you probably don’t know that punk but we’ve been in quite a few with that creepy punk; anyway I digress,” Frank said. “And that’s a lot of belts I can tell you. He’s got more gold than Mr T. But Mr T does love his mother more.”

Rob started to protest but then smirked.

“He is the Master of the Fedora, the Political incorrect, the former owner of Riot Star Wrestling, he is the walking example of Jenga, the more you play with it the harder it gets,” Frank said. “It is none other than Rob fucking Riot!”

Rob Riot jumped up on the top ropes to the crowds cheered.

“And then there is me,” Frank said. “It is I hotter than Tabasco sauce, but loads easier to swallow, the ONLY undefeated champion in this wrestling promotion with my GCW World Heavyweight Championship belt AND your next tag champion.”

Frank looked from side to side.

“I am Frank fucking Windsor!” Frank stated.

Frank held his belt up high as the crowds cheered.

“And together we are the Bastards, and if you’re not down with that we’ve got one word for you!” he said.

All three held their mic’s up above their heads.

“BOLLOCKS!” the crowd chanted.

The Bastards all high fived as they continued their rant of sorts.

“So with the special show coming from Nova Scotia we have to get those belts from Timeless Robbie,” Frank said. “We can’t let those scumbags leave the arena with OUR gold.”

Rob walked up and brought his microphone up.

“Some people said that with Timeless as our tag champion that’s it is degrading the product……..” Rob said. “And management throwing another couple of mooks at us, sound desperate, right?”

“I’m sorry brah but Timeless are a fucking couple of tools and you know it,” Frank said. “Every time they put their hands on someone in the wrestling ring they look like they are going to urinate, defecate, or ejaculate, they suck ass dude. And who cares if they change rules.”

“I know,” Riot said. “They may be legends in their own heads. At this time we were going to show clips of their best stuff in this company on the big screen but we couldn't as they couldn’t find a Betamax machine.”

“So we know that you’re going to get them belts Rob but it’s not just about you that we’re out here,” Billy said. “It’s my time to don’t you know?”

”What do you mean?” Riot asked. “You off your medication?”

“Well can’t afford them when we’re in the States so waiting for them to arrive from Blighty,” Billy said. “Anyway I’m teaming with Frank to get some Network gold myself, don’t forget that?”

“Oh that’s right,” Frank said. “And I think we should also put ourselves forward for the XHF Trio Championship belts which we should have won last time but we got fucking screwed out of. Which reminds me I was supposed to go for the Cruiserweight belt but on some technicality they said I was too heavy……..”

“Too heavy? Couldn’t you sue them for discrimination?” Rob asked. ”Do we really want to know that?”

“The funny thing is that you believe that Frank,” Billy said. “So do you have any final words before we hit catering before some of these guys get it.”

Frank grabbed the camera and brought it closer.

“NPW, wake the fuck up!” he said. “You see the next tag champions and even changing the rules by throwing people from the Battle Royale into the match to throw us off the ball doesn’t affect us.”

He then walked off camera leaving the other Bastards. Billy Fowler rolled his eyes as he walked off.

Rob Riot looked at the camera.

“Believe,” Rob muttered.