Post by Solomon Graham on Sept 10, 2021 17:50:14 GMT -5
We open with a man who looks to be in his late 30s-early 40s. He holds a briefcase in his hands and looks at the camera with a firm look.
“Good evening, wrestling fans. For those of you who don’t know my name (and thus were not at the Coca-Cola Coliseum when that travesty of justice went down), my name is Dewey Cheetum. And I represent the Prime Minister of Canada himself, Justin Trudeau. I come to you today with a few big announcements that Mr. Trudeau himself okayed, but couldn’t announce it himself because, and I quote…”
He clears his throat before opening up a slip of paper which he has pulled from his pocket.
“I don’t have enough in my day to waste on this sort of thing”
He folds it up and puts it away.
“Now… onto business. As you may know, Solomon Graham and Selena Firehouse have both quit the FWA over what happened on the night of August 31st. We didn’t want them to leave… but I can understand why they did, so there are no hard feelings on our end about that. Now… onto more important matters…”
He clears his throat once more, taking a sip of water from the glass next to him.
“We have decided that it would be the best course of action to strip every champion currently in the FWA of their championships. On top of that, we will be retiring the FWA Women’s championship, meaning that the Big Bad Wolf can now carry that trinket around Japan ever boastfully. Our reasons for doing such a thing is that, for one thing… Women’s divisions are so antiquated in the modern wrestling landscape. We want to break away from that and move forward into a more progressive stance. As for the rest? Well...”
Dewey smirks.
“We don’t believe that the previous champions of the FWA did not... fall in line… with what we want to encourage moving forward. We want to bring to you a new evolution of this sport the likes of which you’ve never seen before… and none of those previous champions fit into that mold. They were much too “entertainment-oriented”. As such, they will no longer be recognized as our champions. Instead, we will crown new champions at the end of this year with the return of the Christmas Chaos match! The rules of which will be explained when we arrive at our Christmas Event, Seasons Beatings.
Now… with that being said, it brings us to our last major announcement for today. As it turns out, when Solomon booked these events, the contracts for said events were Iron Clad. Meaning, FWA Hardcore Halloween and FWA Autumn Anarchy must go on as planned. Not only that... if we're gonna keep shilling out money to keep these wrestlers under contract, we might as well make them wrestle for it. No use paying you all to sit on your rears.
I believe that’s all there is to say on the matter. Thank you for your time”
“Good evening, wrestling fans. For those of you who don’t know my name (and thus were not at the Coca-Cola Coliseum when that travesty of justice went down), my name is Dewey Cheetum. And I represent the Prime Minister of Canada himself, Justin Trudeau. I come to you today with a few big announcements that Mr. Trudeau himself okayed, but couldn’t announce it himself because, and I quote…”
He clears his throat before opening up a slip of paper which he has pulled from his pocket.
“I don’t have enough in my day to waste on this sort of thing”
He folds it up and puts it away.
“Now… onto business. As you may know, Solomon Graham and Selena Firehouse have both quit the FWA over what happened on the night of August 31st. We didn’t want them to leave… but I can understand why they did, so there are no hard feelings on our end about that. Now… onto more important matters…”
He clears his throat once more, taking a sip of water from the glass next to him.
“We have decided that it would be the best course of action to strip every champion currently in the FWA of their championships. On top of that, we will be retiring the FWA Women’s championship, meaning that the Big Bad Wolf can now carry that trinket around Japan ever boastfully. Our reasons for doing such a thing is that, for one thing… Women’s divisions are so antiquated in the modern wrestling landscape. We want to break away from that and move forward into a more progressive stance. As for the rest? Well...”
Dewey smirks.
“We don’t believe that the previous champions of the FWA did not... fall in line… with what we want to encourage moving forward. We want to bring to you a new evolution of this sport the likes of which you’ve never seen before… and none of those previous champions fit into that mold. They were much too “entertainment-oriented”. As such, they will no longer be recognized as our champions. Instead, we will crown new champions at the end of this year with the return of the Christmas Chaos match! The rules of which will be explained when we arrive at our Christmas Event, Seasons Beatings.
Now… with that being said, it brings us to our last major announcement for today. As it turns out, when Solomon booked these events, the contracts for said events were Iron Clad. Meaning, FWA Hardcore Halloween and FWA Autumn Anarchy must go on as planned. Not only that... if we're gonna keep shilling out money to keep these wrestlers under contract, we might as well make them wrestle for it. No use paying you all to sit on your rears.
I believe that’s all there is to say on the matter. Thank you for your time”