Thursday Night Inferno, Episode #12 [September 10th]
Sept 11, 2021 1:36:40 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 2 more like this
Post by anthonycaffrey on Sept 11, 2021 1:36:40 GMT -5
Walter Stanford: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to FIRESIDE!
Walter smiles as the hot crowd cheer in response.
Walter Stanford: Allow me to introduce the wrestler who will be lighting the fire tonight. Some call them rude, some call them mysterious, some call them antisocial. We don't know a lot about them, but we do know now what they think about FIRESIDE. For them, lighting the fire is obviously an honor.
Walter turns to look at the entrance way.
Walter Stanford: Lighting tonight's fire is none other than the number one contender for the X*Crown Championship... SAAAAM SAAAAAWYEER!!!
While the fans cheer, we switch to a shot of the stage where the bowl stands. The arena lights start to dim. After the building reaches total darkness, the noise from the fans mostly dies down. The sound of a match being struck breaks the silence. Television viewers get a close-up of Sam's pale white face, illuminated by the match. Sam focuses on the match with a quiet intensity, then drops it into the bowl. The flames spread rapidly and the fans cheer as they catch a glimpse of Sam's dark figure. Sam turns around and walks back into the darkness. They're gone by the time the arena lights come back on, leaving the fire bowl alone on the stage.
Wright: The Silent Protagonist lights the flame and the show begins. Are you ready for tonight?
Park: Major Burn it Down implications up and down the card, two title matches, and a whole helluva lot of fun on a special Friday night edition of Thursday Night Inferno! Let's kick it!
Walter Stanford: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the SPARK Championship! It is a triple threat match, meaning that three competitors compete, and whoever scores a pinfall or a submission first will walk out of the Hearth as the SPARK Champion!
Walter Stanford: Introducing first, from Hammamatsu, Japan, he is known as the Knife of Motorcycles, weighing in at 245 pounds, he is DAAAAAKUUUUUU SUUUUUUZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUKIIIIIIIIIIII!
“Rio Grande” by Mezcaleros plays over the sound system as you hear the revs of the motorcycle as you see Daku ride out of the curtain and stops his Suzuki Harley style motorcycle that's got blue and black colours with his motorcycle club, The Cutting Blades name with a spider with knives all over it. Daku does his typical knife cut symbol with the fans booing him as he then continues to ride down to the ramp with flames coming out the side of the stage. He goes around once on his Suzuki bike before he stops it right on the right outside of the ramp and turns the engine off with placing his jacket onto it.
Wright: Daku Suzuki is a dangerous, angry man. Last Inferno, he straight up ran over Zolothach to weaken her before this match tonight.
Park: I’m surprised he’s still allowed to ride down to the ring. You know he’ll be looking to use that bike again as it’s legal tonight, and I’m frightened for his competitors’ health and safety.
Wright: Suzuki has waited and waited for his SPARK Championship match. Can he finally taste gold tonight? We’ll find out.
Walter Stanford: Introducing second, from Paris, Illinois, weighing in at 165 pounds, she is ZOLOOOOOOOTHAAAAAAAACHHHHHH!
“Cthulhu” by Gunship begins playing as torches all along the entranceway and aisle light up. “Zolothach” Tabitha Osborne walks out from the back with a wide grin as she takes in the reaction from the crowd. She heads down to the ring with a sexy swagger (but she looks like a corpse so not very many catcalls). She rolls into the ring and leans in her corner.
Wright: Not sure how much you believe in Ctuhulu, but the fact that Zolo can even walk after that assault last show is a friggin’ miracle. One of the first-ever SPARK contenders gets her second chance tonight.
Park: She’s vowed to basically turn Daku inside out tonight. Spike might luck out if she kills Daku and he just covers his corpse while Zolo’s escorted out on murder charges.
Wright: Speaking of the champion…
Walter Stanford: And finally, he is your SPARK Champion, from Belfast, Ireland, weighing in at 240 pounds, he is SPIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE KAANEEEEEEEEE!
The lights go out as the beginning of "Bow Down" by I Prevail plays through the PA system, as a circle of flames erupts on the stage. Through the flames, slowly emerges Spike Kane as he fully emerges, the song kicks in.
"GET ON YOUR KNEES AND BOW DOWN!!!"
Spike steps through the flames and heads to the ring, taking off his jacket as he prepares for a fight. He steps into the ring and hands his championship off to the timekeeper, eyeing up Zolothach and Daku Suzuki as he stands in the ring.
Wright: A man of his word, Spike Kane knocked off Shane Locke for the SPARK Championship, and now is taking the first of three steps towards even more gold.
Park: He also seems to be eyeing up the X-Crown, Oliver. He said he joined FIRESIDE to go after the championship in the first place, and those threats he made to Valentine weren’t exactly idle…
Wright: ...one step at a time though, UnJoo. There’s the bell, here we go.
The bell rings and the ensuing fracas gets hard to follow at first but can be boiled down into both Spike Kane and Zolothach laying into Daku Suzuki with a series of kicks that sends the crowd into initial cheers as they seem to straight up be rooting for who can kick the man’s legs harder. There are already red marks on the back of Suzuki’s thighs as the man timbers over like a tree, falling down to the mat. Zolothach goes to continue the pursuit of punishing Suzuki in a blind fury like she did last Inferno, but the SPARK Champion grabs her and straight up yeets her across the ring with a fierce german suplex!
Wright: Zolo and Spike didn’t come to screw around!
Park: Zolo is giving up eighty pounds a piece to these two men, and she just felt it there!
As Spike turns around, Suzuki lays into him with a vicious clothesline!
Wright: WHOAH!
Park: Suzuki isn’t scared of the hellspawn, and with a move like that, it’s not hard to see why!
Suzuki rolls outside of the ring and goes to his bike, opening up the side bag to reveal the steel chain we saw him wrap around Zolothach’s legs just a week ago. Zolothach isn’t about to play victim though, leaping down from the top rope and crashing into Suzuki, knocking the bike over with him!
Wright: A crash of a different kind outside of the ring!
Park: These two challengers are going to take each other out at this rae!
The veteran Spike Kane rolls underneath the bottom rope and passes on the chain, instead flipping up the apron to pull out a table. The crowd cheers for this, but then gets even louder as Kane pulls out a second table! He sets them up next to each other and looks at his opponents, planning evil things in his head as Zolothach makes it back up to her feet. She goes for a Lou Thesz press, but Kane manages to get his foot up in time, knocking her back to the floor with a brogue kick!
Wright: Bloody Sunday from the champion!
Park: He could kick her teeth out with a move like that! I’m not sure Cthulu’s powers cover dentistry!
Kane rolls back up to his feet and spots his other challenger crawling next to his motorcycle, which he’s just managed to get back upright. Kane kicks the bike back over, forcing it to crash directly on the challenger’s foot. Suzuki winces in pain as he’s pinned to the floor, allowing the champion to deliver a Bloody Sunday to him as well!
Wright: A kick for you, a kick for you, a kick for everyone!
Park: Look at the champ go!
Kane grabs Suzuki, ripping him from the clutches of his own motorcycle, and sets him up on one of the tables. He then grabs Zolothach and does something similar, setting the two so they’re both laying head-to-head on tables outside of the ring. The champion taps both challengers and heads back into the ring with very questionable intentions.
Wright: A kick for you, a kick for you, a kick for everyone!
Park: Look at the champ go!
Spike Kane looks again at his opponents on the outside as the crowd begins to make a commotion. Two figures slide into the ring behind him, and as Kane turns around to run, he runs straight into a big boot from Wayne Tanner Jr.!
Wright: That’s New Money! Longhorn from Wayne Tanner Jr.! What the hell are they doing out there?
Park: Kane kept threatening Valentine and the X-Crown, maybe that has something to do with it! El Rey and Tanner came armed!
El Rey grabs the baseball bat that he’s brought to the ring with him and targets Kane’s knee, swinging away and doing his best to cripple the SPARK champion! The crowd boos loudly as he swings once and then again, each time producing a hard “THUD”!
Wright: Those bastards! First the X-Crown, now the SPARK Championship! Someone needs to do something about them!
Park: There’s rumors of another X-Crown match before End of Days, but Valentine might not even be champion! Sam Sawyer could get their hands on the crown tonight!
By now, Zolothach and Daku Suzuki have both managed to peel themselves off of the tables on the outside, but neither has an immediate interest in the sight of Spike Kane being mercilessly beaten with a baseball bat from two second-generation wrestlers. Instead, Suzuki hoists Zolothach up and both wrestlers go through the barricade as he drops her onto the hard exposed floor with an electric chair drop!
Wright: This is absolutely nuts! Carnage at ringside! Zolothach and Suzuki are both down, and so is the champion!
Park: New Money are the only ones left standing in the ring!
By about the sixth hit of the bat, New Money finally relinquish the wood in their hands in favor of the wood on the outside. Tanner vacates the ring to grab Spike by the beaten and bruised leg, setting him up so his body is laying across both tables. Tanner drags the set-up closer to the ringpost as El Rey scales the turnbuckles, before leaping off with a thunderous 630 senton!
Wright: 630 SENTON THROUGH TWO TABLES!
Park: Spike Kane pissed off Evan Valentine and New Money and is paying the price here!
El Rey makes it back to his feet and beats his chest passionately, drawing even more booing from the crowd. Wayne Tanner Jr. grabs Spike’s corpse and haphazardly drags him by the arms, pulling him up the entrance ramp!
Wright: Where the hell are they taking him?
Park: I dunno, but they’ve definitely taken him out of this match!
The camera follows New Money as they pass into the backside area, still dragging Spike Kane behind them. El Rey yells for a man to vacate his chair, which the poor technician does, and Kane is dropped straight into the chair by Tanner. Rey grabs a roll of electrical tape from the ringside area and immediately goes to work, wrapping it around Kane’s chest and trapping his barely-conscious body in the seat.
Wright: Damnit, Valentine promised a seat for Kane, but we weren’t expecting this at all!
Park: Someone’s gotta help him! There’s still a match going on for his championship!
The camera cuts away from a New Money highfive where Daku Suzuki is back in the ring, having rearmed himself with the steel chain and looking to take advantage of the chaotic scene that had happened moments before. He backs up and waits patiently for Zolothach to make it up to her feet, patiently wrapping the chain around his fist to blast her square in the skull when she finally makes it up. Zolothach grabs the ropes and pulls herself up, and Daku goes to throw the chain-assisted punch, only to be hoisted up over the ropes, somehow managing to land on the apron! Zolothach grabs Daku and begins raking his head against the rope!
Wright: Zolothach is really rubbing it in here!
Park: That punch backfired hard!
The only thing that gets Zolothach to stop grinding her opponent’s head against the ring is the sight of blood. Daku begins to bleed and this seems to satisfy Zolothach for the time being, allowing him to properly fall onto the mat and get a moment to recover. The challenger looks over her shoulder up the entrance ramp, slowly getting the idea that the champion may not be returning to this match any time soon. Now is the moment to move, if ever.
Wright: Zolothach has an opportunity to put Daku away here while the champion has been abducted!
Park: Can she get the job done here?
Zolothach patiently awaits for her opponent to get up and springs onto his shoulders, looking to put him away with the Attack the Mind, but the motorcycle club owner excuses her off her throne with force, then grabs the back of her head and delivers a brutal iron claw slam!
Wright: Throttle Cutter Slam! Goodnight!
Park: New champion!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR-NO!
Zolothach gets the shoulder up at the last possible moment!
Wright: No! Zolo’s still alive?
Park: Yes, but for how long?
Daku Suzki swings the chain into Zolothach’s repaired leg, adding insult to injury! He does it once, drawing the ire of the crowd, before doing it again, and finally a third time! Zolo’s leg begins to bleed out onto the mat!
Wright: Cripes, he won’t be satisfied until she can’t walk!
Park: He’s gearing up to ride out of here with the SPARK Championship!
Suzuki looks to put away his opponent once and for all, and finally gets his chance as he rips her off the mat and goes to plant her with his swinging reverse STO, the Knife Cutter! As he swings, Zolo reverses into a reverse crucifix armbar!
Wright: Zolo’s looking for the Stars are Right! If she gets this fully locked in, this could be over!
Park: Daku’s doing everything he can to resist! No signs of Spike Kane anywhere!
Within a few moments, Zolothach locks in the neck submission as well, putting Suzuki in an even greater amount of pain!
Wright: Suzuki can’t hold out much longer! Zolothach has him trapped! No rope breaks or ways to escape!
Park: Daku’s fading fast!
The referee leans over and watches, asking Daku if he wants to tap! He looks to his left and to his right, trying desperately to kick himself the chain for safety, but it’s just out of his reach! He submits! The bell rings as the crowd cheers for Zolothach’s vengeance!
Wright: New champ! New champ!
Park: This one’s over!
Walter Stanford: Here is your winner, and the NNNNNNNNNNNEWWWWWWWWWW SPAAAARKKKKKKKKKKKK CHAMPPPPPPPPPIOOOOOOON, ZOLOTHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHHHHHHHH!
The crowd is surprisingly cheering the Cthulu worshipper as she receives the title, happy to see her get her revenge. She wipes the blood out of her eyes and accepts her championship.
Wright: No Spike Kane, no problem for Zolo as she gets payback on the man who ran her over and takes the SPARK Championship back to Illinois!
Park: When things go sideways, it’s those who capitalize that get to hold the gold in the end! Daku came hard and aimed to finally put his rival away, but it wasn’t enough tonight!
Zolothach rolls out of the ring, throwing the title over her shoulder. She makes a motion to praise her entity as she begins to walk up the ramp.
Wright: Man, you have to feel for Spike though, having been screwed out of his title like this tonight.
Park: Hell hath no fury like a hellspawn pissed off though, Oliver. New Money may have just made a powerful enemy tonight.
Walter Stanford: The following contest is an Open Door Policy tag team match! The winning team will be fighting FIRESIDE Tag Team champions BANG! Hermanos at Burn it Down! Introducing our first team… from the Near Future, weighing a combined 235 pounds, they are Ciela Lulz and Makayla Vayden, the TIMEEEEE JUMPPPPPERRRRRS!
"I wanna go all the way, all the way
All the way back… all the way, all the way
All the way, all I really need
Is time travel and you…”
Makyla Vayden and Ciela Lulz emerge from behind the curtain together. Vayden looks like she’s on a mission as she walks while Lulz skips down to the ring.
“Don't know what this is we're travelling through
All the memories unravel with you
So all I really need
Is time travel and you…”
“And you… “ echoes throughout the arena as the Time Jumpers slide into the ring together, ready for their second tag team match in FIRESIDE.
Wright: After saying some really nasty things about each other to prep for that ladder match, can Lulz and Vayden get back on the same page and secure the bag?
Park: I don’t think a pair that argues like that can stay together, but we’ll see.
Walter Stanford: Introducing their opponents, from the high seas, weighing in at a combined 400 pounds, they are pirates in love, they are the Boarding Party, Captain Conrad Calico and Contessa Calico!
Popular sea shanty “The Wellerman Comes” plays throughout the crowd as two large ropes drops from the rafters. The crowd pops as the next thing they see is the pirate pair sliding down with matching scimitars trapped between their teeth. They land and give their weapons a flourish before locking lips. They then head down to the ring.
Wright: Ooh, welcome back the Boarding Party! Two teams looking for their first win, can get the pirate pair get the job done?
Park: I’ll give their current performance a high C, but we’ll see what they can do.
The match is under way, with the Captain starting for the Boarding Party against Makayla Vayden. Vayden begins things with a test of strength. The Captain is all too willing to oblige and begins to overpower her. Mikayla drops to her knees then arches her back sending the Captain off balance and stumbling to the ropes. He catches himself and turns right into a stiff kick to the ribs. A spinning backfist follows and the Captain is taken by surprise. He spins and catches a slap from Luiz on the outside. Stumbling right into an arm drag, the Captain finds himself in an arm bar. He shakes out the cobwebs and reaches for the ropes. The ref steps into break the hold but Vayden kips up and pulls Calico away from the ropes and spins the now standing mariner into a hammerlock with finger control.
Wright: Impressive technical game from Vayden in the early-goings.
Park: Really cornering the captain there.
The captain grabs her leg and pulls, sending her to the mat. A stiff kick to his hindquarters sends him stumbling towards Ciela Luiz. She holds her arms up in innocence as the ref watches. The captain swings at her, which proves to be a mistake as she grabs his arm and drops to the floor catching his armpit on the top rope.
Wright: Lulz and Vayden are rolling here!
Park: Maybe the thoughts of their demise were premature!
Vayden rolls to her feet and hits a dropkick, sending him into the corner. She climbs to the turnbuckle and rains punches down onto the gruff seafarer. He seems to just struggle to get out and at 5 punches he manages to step out from under and steps away from the corner. Vayden's face meets the turnbuckle pad from the snake eyes. He barrels in with a back elbow in the corner. Mikayla stumbles from the corner flailing wildly before catching herself on the rope and looking at Calico.
The captain smirks at her, clearly unimpressed before he throws a stiff punch. Makayla ducks the blow, throwing stiff kicks at his side before she grabs him to whip him into the ropes. Quickly nailing him with a side slam on the rebound, and she poses over top of him. Then makes a quick tag to Ciela Luiz, she dives over the ropes to catch him with a DDT as he rose. The fans pop, and the Captain shakes his head as he starts to crawl for his corner.
Wright: This is turning into an all-out blitz that has favored the Time Jumpers from the jump. Can the pirates get back in this?
Park: Argh, the captain’s looking rather groggy in there!
Contessa leans across the ropes, arm extended before Conrad is dragged backwards by the ankle by Luiz. He rolls over, and slams a boot into her face. The crowd booing, and he comes to his feet before reaching down to pick her up. But Ceila Luiz moves quickly, and drives a Pele kick into his face. He staggers back, making a blind tag to Contessa. She wastes no time, running at Luiz who steps back to drive a Superkick into her jaw.
Wright: Stopped dead in her tracks!
Park: Lulz with the superkick!
Ciela gets the high flying offense going with a standing moonsault. She rolls to her feet and then pulls the Contessa to her feet and hits a high angle hip toss. As the angry Contessa gets to her feet, she is met with a springboard moonsault into a reverse DDT. The fans approve, and Luiz drags her towards the corner to make a quick tag to Makayla.
Wright: Rapid tags, really working as a unit!
Park: Impressive!
Vayden comes back in, and grabs Contessa driving a few punches into her head before she flings her into the corner. Contessa stumbles out, and Vayden goes to the top rope clearly looking for her finisher. But the Captain shakes the top rope, knocking her from the turnbuckle to loud jeers. Makayla frowns, and Contessa makes the tag as Captain Calico holds up his arms to mock the crowd.
The fans do not approve! Triple C begins to work over Vayden with some stiff elbows to the face. He spins for a discus clothesline, but Vayden ducks it and pulls him down with a neckbreaker. She rolls backwards into a mount position and then swings to the side with a cross armbreaker. The captain pounds the mat before the Contessa drops to the floor and pushes the bottom rope close as he manages to grab it. The ref breaks the hold. The Captain rolls to his feet holding his arm and ducks a roundhouse kick only to catch an enzuigiri for his troubles.
Wright: Calico paid for taunting the crowd there!
Park: He seems to be on the verge of catching the agony of defeet!
Vayden batters him with a few stiff elbows before throwing him hard into the corner, and then runs back before driving a shoulder into his stomach. The fans cheer, and she tags in Luiz before moving to the outside. Luiz is on the turnbuckle, waiting it seemed before Vayden leaps over the ropes to hammer the Vayden Smash home. Conrad Calico crumbles, and Luiz leaps from the turnbuckle to hit 'Over the Rainbow'.
Wright: Over the Rainbow! The Time Jumpers have seemingly swept the floor with the pirates!
Park: This could be it!
The fans go wild, and Vayden runs across the ring to drive a kick into Contessa's face as she comes through the ropes. Meanwhile the ref dives for the count!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
Walter Stanford: Here are your winners, facing BANG! Hermanos at Burn it Down, the TIMEEEEEEE JUMPEEEEEERSSS!
Wright: Wow, Vayden and Lulz really made you eat your words on that one!
Park: I can’t believe how smooth they looked in there! Really sent the pirate pair back to Davy Jones’ locker! I’d be afraid if I was Kanyon and co right now, they might be underestimating the Jumpers going into Burn it Down!
The Time Jumpers share a winning hug as the crowd pops, the team back on the same side.
Walter Stanford: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
The crowd roars!
Walter Stanford: Introducing first, from Seattle, Washington, weighing in at 205 pounds, he is Derrick Lancaster!
He smoothly walks out and stops after taking a few steps. Looking out at the "crowd" he raises both arms up while nodding as if to say "yup take it in. I have arrived." He then bolts the rest of the way to the ring, sliding into it head first. After clearing the ropes he kips back onto his feet springing off his hands, then immediately jumps forward into a handstand; he does this with one arm behind his back.
Wright: A returning Derrick Lancaster has a big challenge on his hands tonight as he takes on Lucas Nix!
Park: Wrestling isn’t alien to him though and this crowd is excited to see him back.
Walter Stanford: And his opponent, weighing in at 291 pounds, from Krakow, Poland, weighing in at 291 pounds, he is the one holding the Ignition briefcase, he is ‘The Outcast’ LUCAAAAAAASSSS NIXXXXXXX!
Into the trees
Past meadow grounds
And further away from my home
Baying behind me
I hear the hounds
Flock's chasing to find me alone
The overdriven guitar and haunting vocals of Opeth’s “Reverie/Harlequin Forest” kick in, cueing the arena lights to dim until only a single spotlight remains directed on the entrance curtain.
The imposing figure of Lucas Nix steps out into the light, his enormous frame clad in leather and fur, giving him the appearance of a menacing Gothic giant. He slowly makes his way down the aisle, his face twisted into a derisive sneer that leaves no doubt that this is a man full of rage and hate.
A trail of sickness
Leading to me
If I am haunted
Then you will see
Nix climbs the steps to the ring as the music tells a tale eerily similar to his own. He stands alone as he always has done, looking out upon a world that he feels has turned its back on him; he pauses as he lets his anger swell, his sneer giving way to a look of cruel determination, then steps silently over the top rope, ready to release his fury on his opponent.
Wright: Just an absolutely terrifying unit, that Lucas Nix.
Park: Caffrey found that out the hard way, being brutally slammed through a table by the guy. Nix has the Ignition case, which means he can cash in on the FIRESIDE World Champion, or the X-Crown champion while the title still resides in FIRESIDE, at any time.
Wright: If I were Valentine I woulda had this guy jumped instead. Man.
The bell rings and the size disadvantage for Lancaster becomes shockingly apparently very quickly. Lancaster goes to use his speed game to try to outpace Nix, sliding under his legs, only to get caught by the giant. Lancaster pulls Nix’s head down by grabbing it and jumping back down to the mat, trying to stun the Outcast, but Nix pulls himself away at the last moment.
Lancaster shakes his head and bounces off the ropes, looking for a dropkick. He bounces off the big man, who puts his arms up and blocks.
Wright: Just toying with Derrick at this point!
Park: Nix only got stronger during his absence. God help the rest of us.
The first piece of offense from Derrick Lancaster that seems to actually do some kind of damage is a knife-edged chop, stinging the Outcast’s chest. Lancaster lands another one and gets a bead of confidence before spinning around for a backfist, only to have his wrist captured by the big man! Lancaster looks to fight his way out, only to be nailed with an absolutely brutal European uppercut!
Wright: Holy shit!
Park: There goes a tooth!
Lancaster is knocked straight down to the mat by the Outcast’s uppercut. The crowd boos as Nix gets a running start and drops one of his long, long legs down across the throat of the smaller man. His opponent is left to choke on the mat underneath the leg as Nix doesn’t move, pinning him.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Lancaster kicks out!
Wright: This isn’t going well for Derrick!
Park: I’m starting to become more and more concerned for Valentine and MAJESTY’s safety!
Lucas Nix is forced to make it back up to his feet and you can tell he’s not happy about it. He has a few choice words for referee Chris Mardinly before rising up and grabbing Lancaster by the head, lifting him back up to his feet with raw strength. In a desperate move, Derrick turns around and leaps backward, trying to catch the big man with a pele kick, but Nix merely catches him in place!
Wright: Oh boy-- this is about to get a whole lot worse!
Park: Could we see it?
Nix adjusts Lancaster’s position, before leaping up and smashing his skull down into the mat with a Korona Diabla!
Wright: Korona Diabla! These fans are letting him hear it!
Park: Just stop, Lucas, he’s already dead!
Nix folds the arms of Lancaster for a pinfall, then decides agains it, hoisting him back up to his feet. He spins his finger, knowing that he has complete power and control over the situation, before picking up Lancaster and spinning him around into a crushing black hole slam!
Wright: Downfall! That has to be it!
Park: Only if Nix wants it to be!
He covers!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
Walter Stanford: Here is your winner, ‘The Outcast’ LUCAAAASSSSS NIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXX!
Nix has his arm raised by the referee and quickly snatches his Ignition briefcase from the timekeeper. He holds the case over his head in a celebration of his power.
Wright: Welcome back, Lucas Nix. Jesus. In one swift motion, we could be looking at the top of FIRESIDE or the top of XHF toppling on its head, then being spiked down into the mat like Lancaster was!
Park: Can we get some help for him? Yikes. Not a return someone would want, a FIRESIDE original crushed here tonight.
Wright: Might’ve returned back to the injury list. God help whoever crosses Nix next.
Walter Stanford: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! The winner will decide the stipulation for the XHF Tag Team Championship Match at Burn it Down!
The crowd cheers!
Walter Stanford: Introducing first, accompanied by Misha Constantine, weighing in at 225 pounds, from New York, New York, he is JOHNNNY FIVE!
'I Got 5 On It' hits the speakers and Johnny Five makes his way out, grinning and flexing his not inconsiderable muscles with Misha at his side. He heads down the ramp and rolls into the ring, clambering up onto the turnbuckles and continuing to pose for the audience, gleefully pointing at and giving thumbs up to anyone cheering for him, while Misha heads to the corner to give Johnny a pep talk..
Wright: Johnny Five has some guts coming out here to fight Curtis after what the former President of the United States did to him!
Park: You have to think that Five and Divine must be looking for a bit of retribution tonight.
Walter Stanford: And his opponent, from Washington D.C., he is your former President, he weighs in at 270 pounds, he is CURTISSSSSSSSSSS KAAAAAAAAAAAAANYON!
"Don't Tread on Me" by Metallica blares over the P.A. Former President Curtis D. Kanyon emerges from the curtain when the cymbal crashes at the 30 second mark. He's got a sledgehammer slung over one shoulder and his Fireside tag team title over the other at his side walks out “El Combatiente” however he does not have a Fireside tag team title with him. Curtis pounds his chest with his fist then raises the hammer in the air. He walks down to the ring, nodding to the fans. He grabs a "BANG!" sign from a fan and shows it to the camera, giving a thumbs up before he tosses it back into the crowd. Curtis then climbs into the ring and goes to the turnbuckles. He climbs a turnbuckle and points to the crowd with his hammer, then hoists it straight up into the air and yells "BANG!" He jumps down and gives his hammer to the “El Combatiente”.
Park: Here comes Kanyon, with El Combatiente at his side!
Wright: That’s clearly not El Combatiente…
The camera shifts to show El Combatiente sat in the front row, with his hands up suggesting he’s confused and has no idea what is going on. Johnny stands in his corner talking with Misha who is standing on the apron. Misha points at “El Combatiente” who is giving Kanyon a fist bump before exiting the ring, and Misha points to the “El Combatiente” sat at ring side. Five shrugs, as he prepares to go for Curtis.
Park: I don’t know what you’re talking about Ollie. Just look at El Combatiente out here to support his partner.
Wright: Unjoo….look at that man’s abs….that is NOT El Combatiente!
Park: Oliver, come on, be professional. We’re here to call a wrestling match not oogle peoples abs!
As “El Combatiente” steps off the apron, so too does Misha, and the referee calls for the bell. Johnny charges out of his corner as does Kanyon who immediately goes for the BANG! He slams into Johnny Five and the crowd are stunned. Misha throws his hands up to his head in shock, as Kanyon grins going for the cover.
Wright: WHAT!? RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE!?
Park: El Presidenté is not messing around!
The referee runs over for the pinfall attempt, ONE! ….TWO! …Misha quickly throws up Five’s foot onto the bottom rope, and the referee spots it just in time to stop the count. From the front row El Combatiente throws some popcorn at Misha causing him to turn around. Misha and El Combatiente get into a shouting match, the masked man getting to his feet and shouting at Misha when BAM! “El Combatiente” hits Misha with a TKO!
Park: Wow the action is all over the place in this match already! El Combatiente just took out Misha to prevent him from helping Johnny anymore!
Wright: ….El Combatiente is sat ringside…..and that move looks awfully familiar…
The two El Combatiente’s make eye contact. The one in the crowd begins to shout at the one ringside, before the one ringside waves him away and walks around to the other side of the ring. Back inside the ring, Kanyon is dragging Five back to his feet. He locks in a side headlock as he does so, and begins to try and wear Johnny down. It takes a moment or two, but Johnny drops to a knee as Kanyon applies more pressure.
Park: Curtis is squeezing that headlock hard, he’s going to start cutting off the oxygen flow to Johnny’s brain.
Wright: That has to be Kanyon’s intent here taking advantage of that punt to the head.
Just as it looks like Kanyon has Five where he wants him, Johnny manages to heft Kanyon up into the air and hits a huge deadlift back body drop slamming Curtis into the mat. As soon as he does so Johnny hits the ropes. A dazed Kanyon climbs back to his feet, but as Five comes off the ropes towards Kanyon he leaps into the air vertically almost above Curtis before slamming into him with a huge impact leaping clothesline.
Wright: Johnny Five is deceptively strong.
Park: That he is Ollie, he has to be one of the strongest members of the FIRESIDE roster busting out moves like those.
Johnny is back on his feet as he looks to the ringside and sees Misha back on his feet too. Five nods to Misha before heading to the top turnbuckle. Looking down at Kanyon, he leaps through the air going for a moonsault, but at the last second Curtis sits up (facing “El Combatiente”) and the two share a laugh as Five slams into the mat.
Wright: Oooof crahs and burn!
Park: That’s why they call it high risk Ollie. Not to mention Curtis Kanyon is a wily veteran.
Kanyon, with a smirk on his face, leans back to roll Five over for the pinfall, but as he does so Misha jumps onto the apron immediately getting the referees attention. Curtis gets to his feet and begins to get into a battle of words with Misha. Johnny takes this moment to connect with a huge low blow to Curtis from behind while the referee is distracted by Misha. There’s an audible “oooh” from the crowd as many of the people in attendance wince. Five quickly tries to roll up Curtis in the process too.
Wright: Oh come on! That was a low blow!
Park: Five and Divine are clever Ollie, you have to give them credit – wait!
As Johnny rolls up Curtis, “El Combatiente” rolls into the ring and connects with a huge superkick to the face of Johnny Five, before “El Combatiente” then begins to crotch chop a few times in Five’s direction before ripping off his mask to reveal he was Steve Awesome all along.
Park: WHAT!?
Wright: ….you’re kidding me, right?
Park: What is going on!? El Combatiente was Steve Awesome all along!? How could they get away with this!?
Wright: *sigh* El Combatiente is in the front row…
The camera shows El Combatiente in the crowd and he’s currently face palming. Misha spots what is happening, and as Steve Awesome exits the ring, Misha runs along the ring apron, with the referee looking quite confused, before he dives off the apron towards the celebrating Steve Awesome and hits him with a hurricarana, sending Steve face first into the guard rail. Back in the ring, the referee is checking on both men who are down, Curtis still clutching his crown jewels.
Wright: The official needs to restore order here this is getting insane.
Park: It just goes to show you how intense the rivalry is between these four guys…er….five guys?
Both men begin to climb to their feet in the ring, slowly but surely. They begin to fire off shots at each other, right hand from Curtis, one from Five, another from Kanyon, another from Johnny. They begin to fire off on each other wildly, as the crowd really get into the fistfight between the two. As Five fires off another shot, Curtis throws up his arm and blocks it, before throwing his head forward and connecting with a head butt that staggers both of them. As they back away from each other recoiling, space is created between the two of them.
Park: These two are just wailing on each other here.
Wright: You can tell there’s animosity between these competitors, and it doesn’t seem to be calming down at all.
As Kanyon comes back for more out of nowhere Five leaps into the air and connects with a picture perfect enziguri to the head of the former president, causing Kanyon to drop to his knees dazed. Johnny presses his advantage and begins to deliver several kicks to the chest of Curtis Kanyon. Johnny’s foot connects with Kanyon’s massive chest over and over, before he turns and hits the ropes.
Wright: Looks like Johnny is in the mood for some tenderizing!
As Five comes off the ropes again, Curtis rises from his knees and launches himself towards Johnny Five with another BANG! The crowd pop for the move as Curtis rolls to the side after hitting the move, however Five lands close to the ropes, and Misha pulls his tag team partner out of the ring so that Five can collect himself and perhaps recover.
Park: Some smart tactics there by Five and Divine, just putting some distance between Johnny and Curtis, prevents the pinfall attempt.
Wright: I don’t like it, but it isn’t against the rules.
At ringside Steve Awesome is slowly coming to, at a right angle away from Five and Divine.Inside the ring Kanyon is getting back to his feet too. Misha slaps Johnny a couple of times to wake him up, and snap him out of it. Kanyon runs towards the ropes as if he’s going to dive over them, however he simply baseball slides out of the ring to his feet, but as he does so Misha rolls Five back into the ring, so now Curtis and Misha come face to face.
Park: Oh this might not end well!
Wright: Curtis should be focusing on the ring, and focusing on JOHNNY! OH MY GOD!
While Curtis and Misha were jawing at each other Johnny Five hit the opposite ropes before jumping up onto the top rope on the return and leaping to ringside with an insane springboard shooting star press taking out Curtis AND Mish!
Park: Oh wow, that was something!
Wright: Johnny is pulling out all the stops here!
Steve Awesome looks down at the wreckage of men, glancing from side to side. He drags Curtis to his feet and rolls him into the ring, but Curtis is still laying down trying to recover. Steve then grabs Five and rolls him into the ring too, before looking down at Misha and just flips him the bird before heading back around the other side of the ring.
Wright: These two men have put each other through a battle here Unjoo.
Park: You’re right there Ollie, I don’t have a clue which way this is gonna go!
Both men begin to start making their way to opposite corners on all fours, using the ropes and turnbuckles to pull themselves up. As they do, just like the opening of the match, Curtis picks up a head of steam and charges towards Johnny Five for yet another BANG! However, Five manages to LEAP OVER KANYON causing Curtis to slam into the turnbuckle! Johnny lands on his feet and drops a shoulder, judo rolling back to his feet but now facing Kanyon, who staggers back out of the corner and JOHNNY PICKS UP KANYON AND NAILS THE FUCK YO NECK!
Wright: LOOK AT THE STRENGTH OF JOHNNY FIVE!
Park: What a turn around, he dodged the BANG! Before nailing the Eff Your Neck!
Wright: This has to be it!
The referee looks just as stunned as the crowd, as Five goes for the cover!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
The referee calls for the bell as Johnny rolls out of the ring towards Misha. The two of them holding each other up. Steve Awesome slides into the ring to check on Kanyon.
Walter Stanford: Here is your winner, by pinfall, and getting to choose the stipulation at Burn it Down, JOOOOOOOOOHNNY FIIIIIIIIIVE!
Wright: A monumental upset as Johnny Five scores the biggest win of his career against a man who's been damn well near impossible to beat!
Park: What's this mean going into the XHF Tag Team Championship Match at Burn It Down? Five and Constantine get to pick the stip, and I wouldn't want to be the tag team champions right about now!
Constantine and Five celebrate together in the ring as Awesome collects Kanyon on a rare off night for the champ.
Walter Stanford: The following two contests are each scheduled for one fall, as part of Beat the Clock! If Mistress Discipline wins, she will be added to Gavin Drake’s future SPARK Championship match! If Vodka Fizz wins, he’ll be added to Wayne Tanner Jr.’s future SPARK Championship match! Whoever of the four competitors scores their victory the fastest will have their match at Burn it Down!
Wright: That’s a mouthful if I’ve ever heard one.
Park: What’s it all mean?
Wright: If you’re Tanner or Drake, win your match so your opponent doesn’t turn your SPARK title match into a triple threat. Also, win quickly, as whichever match finishes fastest will have its appropriate competitors advance to Burn it Down to take on Zolothach.
Park: So we could see Zolo against just Drake or Tanner, or Zolo against Drake and Discipline, or Zolo against Tanner and Fizz.
Wright: And whoever wins their match fastest determines that.
Park: I dunno man, sounds complicated.
Walter Stanford: Introducing first, competing in the second Beat the Clock match, from Abilene, Texas, he is a member of New Money, he weighs in at 283 pounds, he is WAYNEEEEEEEEE TANNNNNNNNER JUNIIIIOOOOOOOOOOR!
"Aint Going Down Till The Sun Comes Up" by Garth Brooks plays and Wayne Tanner Jnr. pushes out from the curtains. He raises his arms completely ignoring the boos acting like the whole crowd love him. He tips his cowboy hat and starts to stride down to the ring, accompanied by El Rey.
Wright: These guys are despicable and have no shame, UnJoo. First they lay out Spike Kane, now they’re looking to use their numbers to set Tanner up with a SPARK championship match.
Park: I’m sure the fans have heartaches by the numbers about it. Tanner’s looking to right his ship after getting stuck in a ladder last Inferno. I guess there can be a disadvantage to that size, but the big enforcer for New Money looks ready.
Tanner and El Rey take seats next to the ring.
Walter Stanford: Introducing second, also competing in the second Beat the Clock match, from Daytona Beach, Florida, he weighs in tonight at 220 pounds, he is VODDDDDDKAAAAAAAAAA FIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
The lights go down and blacklights come up, bathing the stage in purple. A hard, grungy bassline starts to play.
'Hey, turn the bass up. Turn the bass up!'
The base gets louder and grungier, and the lyrics come in as Vodka Fizz dives out on stage in a golf cart retrofitted with huge speakers that are playing his music. He is dressed in a full-length white fur coat, white shutter glasses, and anover-the-top white top hat, and as he drives the golf cart down the ramp he toasts fans with a yard-long cocktail flask hung around his neck full of some florescent liquid he drinks from as he drives down the ramp, highfiving fans with his free hand.
When he gets to ringside, he drapes the fur coat over the seat of the golf cart and removes the top hat, keeping the shades on. he climbs up on the apron, turning to face the crowd and chugging the remnants of his large drink, finally striking a pose and spraying a mouthful of whatever it is up into the air and letting it rain over him. He grins and winks at the camera, staying seated in his parked golf cart.
Wright: Fizz looks hyped tonight, but you have to wonder what condition he’s in after that brutal three-way against MAJESTY.
Park: That’s his secret, Oliver, he’s always hyped. But to get to stick to the New Money boys, I think he’s even more hyped. That level of hype might be enough to cover any lingering effects of the match.
Wright: How many times are you gonna say hype?
Walter Stanford: And now, introducing first for the first Beat the Clock match… from Carlisle, Cumbria, weighing in at 253 pounds, he is GAAAAAAVINNNNNNN DRAAAAAAAKEEEE!
Gavin Drake emerges from the back, ignoring the booing crowds as the bastard nobility mentored by Donzig slowly strides down to the ring, ignoring the booing crowd.
Wright: So now we have our first match, Drake vs. Discipline. It’s a power game vs. technical here, and you have to think that his hard-hitting moves could turn Discipline’s lights out at any moment.
Park: Don’t be so sure, Oliver. Discipline has made a career out of men who have underestimated her, and would certainly like to add another to her list tonight.
The cheers begin to build in anticipation for Discipline.
Walter Stanford: And now, his opponent… from Raleigh, North Carolina, weighing in at 200 pounds, she is MISSSSSSSTRESSSSSS DISSSSSSSCIPLINEEEEEE!
"The Planets Op. 32: IV. Jupiter- Bringer of Jollity" by Gustav Holst begins to play on the arena speakers. The lights dim slightly and a spotlight appears on the stage. Mistress Discipline steps onto the stage and adjusts the high collar and neckline of her trademark blue blouse. She marches to the ring with a purpose and without glasses because she wears contacts into the ring so she can see. She rolls into the ring and adjusts her trademark hair buns. She steps into the corner and begins stretching her arms while awaiting her opponent (she will not be bending over).
Wright: The former SPARK champion looks to get back on the road to redemption tonight, but in her way is the man mentored by Donzig.
Park: She looks a little slower than usual, Oliver. I wouldn’t be surprised if the effects of that MAJESTY match are weighing on her. This close to becoming champion, instead getting pinned. How does she bounce back tonight?
Wright: We’re about to find out! Beat the Clock rules, Discipline and Drake will set the time for Tanner and Fizz to beat! There’s the bell!
Mistress Discipline doesn’t waste any time in immediately trying to shoot herself over to lock in a submission on Gavin Drake, but the bigger man doesn’t immediately budge and isn’t in the mood to give out any of his limbs for armbars. Instead, he strikes her down with a hard lariat, then immediately goes for the pin!
...ONE!
...Discipline kicks out!
You can see that the clock is already in the back of Drake’s mind as he lifts Discipline up and attempts to throw her across the ring with a release german suplex, but she elbows her way out, striking the side of his head repeatedly until she’s free and she’s able to jump on his back, beginning to choke him out with a choke sleeper!
Wright: AH! Discipline digs into her bag of tricks to pull out a sleeper! If she can get Drake to tap out right here and now, this one’s over!
Park: Not just tap out, Oliver! If he can’t get out of the hold she can make win via stoppage/him passing out! It’s a genius move from a FIRESIDE veteran!
Discipline wrenches on the sleeper, screaming at Drake to submit, but Drake’s power seems to be too much to just let go of his chances of having a one-on-one shot at Zolothach. He looks for the ropes and almost finds them before going down to a knee, but he’s unable to do it! The crowd comes alive as the man looks for the ropes and finally finds them, grabbing on and forcing the rope break!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
Discipline releases the hold!
Wright: Gavin’s gotta be short on breath after that!
Park: He would’ve liked to get out of that submission faster, you can tell!
Discipline moves right back in to try to capitalize on the situation at hand, but Drake spears her with enough force to send both wrestlers crashing down to the outside!
Wright: Spear! Spear!
Park: Drake strikes back with that trademark power, but now both wrestlers are on the outside of the ring! Time continues to tick up! We’re about to hit four minutes!
Referee Melissa Davenport begins her count on the outside as both wrestlers are down, right at the feet of New Money!
...ONE!
...TWO!
Wayne Tanner Jr. and El Rey keep their hands up in innocent positions as Fizz rounds the corner to make sure that no funny business is involved. He begins jawing off with the duo as Drake makes it back to his feet, cutting through the chaff and straight-up throwing Discipline back into the ring!
Wright: Whoah! The power it takes to throw two hundred pounds like that!
Park: Drake feels like he can do great things, and if he keeps moves up like that, I don’t see why not!
Gavin Drake climbs back into the ring and looks to end things, sliding Discipline up onto his shoulder for a running powerslam, but she slides off at the last minute and pops Drake right underneath his chin with an axe kick!
Wright: Final Bell! Discipline might have just rang Drake’s and put him out with that move!
Park: The cover and the count!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Drake gets a foot on the bottom rope!
Wright: Not quite enough!
Park: She’s gotta end this one soon or else she might be in danger of giving Tanner and Fizz too much time! Six and a half minutes have passed!
Discipline can feel the momentum of the rocking crowd behind her as she yells for all of them to get up on their feet. She’s looking to set up Drake and lock him into the Detention, the same move she nearly submitted MAJESTY with. As she gets ready, suddenly Wayne Tanner Jr. chucks his cowboy hat into the ring!
Wright: Oh, what are those guys doing now?
Park: It eats up time! The bastards will do whatever they can!
Discipline stomps on the hat before moving in, looking to trap the arm and shoulder, but as she jumps up to do so, she’s caught by Gavin Drake! The powerful brute has the submission applied to him, but he’s still standing! He raises her up even higher, crushing her with a devastating powerbomb!
Wright: Off the distraction, a second impact from Drake! Look at the brutal way her head bounced off the damn mat! This could be it!
Park: The cover and the count!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR-NO! A kickout at the last second!
Wright: Discipline manages to stay alive!
Park: How much more does she have left though?
A frustrated Gavin Drake pounds on the mat in frustration before lifting Discipline back off the mat, this time positioning her up across his shoulders for a Reignmaker! As he goes to swing her around, however, she catches him with a crossface! She bridges the hold right after he crashes down into the mat!
Wright: Suspension! She countered the Reignmaker into the Suspension! This could be it!
Park: Drake’s got no choices left! His feet are just a little too far from the ropes!
Drake tries to reach his arm out, but it’s too far between him and the ropes! He reaches out and tries again, but it still isn’t enough! Discipline has him trapped and the bridge is only making him turn brighter shades of red as he looks to potentially tap out!
Wright: This is it! Discipline’s about to set the time!
El Rey jumps up on the apron, distracting the referee right as Drake is about to submit! As Davenport yells at him to get down, Tanner reaches out and puts his leg on the bottom rope!
Park: Damnit! They’re screwing with her again!
The referee ejects El Rey from ringside! The crowd cheers!
Wright: El Rey’s been ejected! He should never have been allowed out here in the first place!
Park: But the damage may have been done! Drake’s in a world of hurt, but he’s at the ropes!
She calls for the break! Discipline is forced to let go of the hold!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
Discipline begrudgingly lets go of the hold!
Wright: Discipline’s pissed! She knows she had this match won right then and there!
Park: She’s gotta focus and set the time, this has gone on long enough!
Discipline waits for Drake to make it back up to his feet, and she kicks him low to set up the Expulsion, but instead he pops her up onto his shoulders, and with one final gasp delivers the F5 known as the Reignmaker!
Wright: Exp-no, Reignmaker!
Park: That’s gotta be it!
An exhausted Drake throws an arm over!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
Walter Stanford: Here is your winner, setting a time of 12:42 and keeping his future SPARK Championsihp match as a singles match, GAAAAAVINNNNN DRAKEEEEEEEE!
The very-pro Discipline crowd boos as a tired Drake makes it back to his feet and has his arm raised.
Wright: The time to beat has been set! 12:42 is not the most ideal time for a beat the clock scenario, but Discipline fought like a warrior and wouldn’t go down easy!
Park: New Money bought Tanner all the time in the world in distracting and screwing Discipline out of the win, will it be enough? Will they live to regret making an enemy of her?
Wright: First Kane, now Discipline, they’ve gotta watch themselves at this rate! Don’t want a village full of an angry mob with torches!
Drake rolls out of the ring, heading up to the back. He makes eyes at Tanner as Tanner steps into the ring, rolling his arms to stretch as he’s now battling without El Rey at ringside. Vodka Fizz also takes a good luck swig of his drink, toasting the crowd before stepping into the ring, ready for round two.
Wright: So now the clock’s at 12:42 and it’ll start counting down -- I’m told the match will continue if the time expires for contendership purposes, but if the winner can get the job done in less than that time, they’ll be fighting Zolothach, otherwise it’ll be Zolothach vs. Gavin Drake at Burn it Down!
Park: Exciting! There’s the bell! Beat the clock part two is a go!
Unlike the battle between Discipline and Drake, the match between Fizz and Tanner opens with both men trying to feel each other out and seek the early advantage. Tanner is both taller and sixty pounds heavier, giving Fizz a leg up in terms of speed as he looks to knife in with a throat thrust. Tanner instead catches the arm and drives an elbow to it, before walking out to the ropes and stepping onto the apron, dropping Fizz’s arm across the top!
Wright: No partner at ringside, and he’s turning to using the ropes as his friend instead, trying to hyperextend and stretch Fizz’s arm!
Park: If you take out Fizz’s arm, that’s about half of his moveset that he can’t use right there!
Fizz winces in pain back in the ring as Tanner steps in and quickly looks for a pumphandle slam, but Fizz manages to get his knee up, kneeing Tanner in the face and making him drop him back onto the mat. As Tanner comes in, Fizz catches him with the schoolboy!
...ONE!
...TWO!
Tanner kicks out!
Tanner is not amused by Fizz’s schoolboy, jumping on top of him and unloading with clubbing lefts and rights to keep the crowd favorite pinned down to the mat!
Wright: This has been nearly all Tanner in the early-going!
Park: He’s doing his best to protect his spot! You don’t want to fight in a triple threat around here if you don’t have to, as we saw earlier it’s easy to lose one of those without even getting pinned or submitting!
Wright: Just a bit over three minutes has already ticked off the clock! Tanner has urgency, but I’m not sure he’s going fast enough!
Tanner takes Fizz and whips him into the turnbuckles with force, and on Fizz’s way back, lifts him up for a spinebuster, planting him down! The nephew of a legend hooks the leg!
...ONE!
...TWO!
Not enough! Fizz gets the shoulder up.
Wright: Tanner’s already looking to put this one away now, maybe he’s got this in the bag already!
Park: Fizz needs to wake up and fast!
Just as Tanner’s looking to put Fizz away, he whips Fizz into the ropes hard, but Fizz inverts himself into a handspring, catching the bigger man with a handspring stunner!
Wright: Uno Mas! There you go UnJoo, right on cue!
Park: He needed that in a big way!
Fizz knows that’s not going to be enough to put down the cowboy and as Tanner gets back to his feet, he hops up and locks his legs around his head, pulling back onto the arm and locking in the octopus stretch!
Wright: Hanging Chad out of nowhere!
Park: Yank and crank baby! This move hurts like hell and can render you unconscious if you can’t find a way out in time! About seven minutes remain!
Vodka Fizz screams at his opponent to tap out as Tanner is bent over in the center of the ring. The New Money man has screwed himself as he’s too far out from the ropes to get that immediate break in, and now he’s being made to suffer for it as the pressure is applied and the pain starts to become unbearable. The crowd is cheering for him to submit as Fizz looks up at the clock, watching the seconds tick down more and more as the big man simply won’t drop!
Wright: The resistance in Tanner here is incredible!
Park: His uncle is a legend, this kind of pain tolerance comes with the territory!
Tanner hangs on, realizing he does have a free hand and using the last bits of his power and energy to turn the octopus hold into a side slam, slamming Fizz down onto his back and thus breaking the hold! Tanner rubs his neck in pain as he finally is able to get out of the painful submission, but the damage has been done! He crawls over and grabs the ropes, pulling himself back up and trying to shake himself back into the match. Fizz comes over, but Tanner gets behind him and lifts him up, planting him one more time with an Olympic slam!
Wright: Swing N’ A Miss! Tanner got him!
Park: That’s it! Tanner’s going to Burn it Down!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THRE-NO!
Fizz barely gets a finger on the ropes!
Wright: That close! Half a second more and this one’s over!
Park: The shot at Zolothach hangs in the balance for Fizz, for Tanner it’s the right to fight one-on-one, and both are fighting to get this done before the clock expires and Gavin Drake gets to fight Zolothach instead! A little less than four minutes remain!
Tanner angrily yells at Davenport, visibly upset that she’s not referee Chris Mardinly. She taps the FIRESIDE logo on her shirt and he returns his attention to Fizz, who is crawling around and looking worse for wear. Tanner leans in the corner and waits, looking to fold him in half with the Longhorn and finally pick up the victory.
Wright: He hits that boot that cleaned Kane’s clock earlier tonight, and this one’s over!
Park: I don’t know if Fizz knows where he is right now!
Tanner charges forward, swinging the big boot as he goes, but Fizz ducks the hold! He grabs Tanner from behind and traps his arms, twisting forward, looking for the mind eraser, but Tanner shoves his way out! Tanner goes to lock in his million dollar dream sleeper, but Fizz runs up the ropes, turning it into sliced bread!
Wright: Fizz keeps himself from getting manhandled one more time with sliced bread!
Park: Time’s almost up! Fizz has to move now if he wants to punch his ticket to Burn it Down! Less than two minutes!
Fizz locks up at the clock and screams for the fans to get the hell up and then Tanner do the same as waits… waits, kicks Tanner in the stomach, then turns him around, and manages to plant him with the Mind Eraser! Both men go down as the double underhook facebuster connects!
Wright: Mind Eraser! Cover him, Fizz!
Park: Can he do it? Time’s running out! Ten, nine!
The fans count down the seconds as Vodka Fizz crawls over slowly, throwing an arm over!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
The crowd comes alive as an airhorn sounds right after the bell rings!
Walter Stanford: Here is your winner, beating the time of 12:42 and earning a spot in Wayner Tanner’s SPARK Championship Match at Burn it Down, VODKAAAAAAAAAAA FIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
The crowd roars!
Wright: Fizz did it! Fizz did it! A hellacious match where Tanner beat the hell out of him, but Fizz’s stamina won the day!
Park: The good news for him is that he’ll be fighting for the title at Burn it Down! The bad news is he’s somehow gotta beat Tanner again, AND beat Zolothach at the same time!
Wright: Fizz has been on the verge for ages, can he finally capture his first title at the pay-per-view? We’ll find out soon enough!
The crowd cheers as Vodka Fizz climbs the top rope and salutes them with a drink. He looks back at the New Money, flipping Tanner the finger. They might be finished tonight, but they’re not done with each other just yet.
We open up in what appears to be a fairly whimsical forest. Sunbursts shoot through the gaps between the branches. Oversized mushrooms of wildly different colors and shapes dot the landscape. The trees tower tall, creating a topiary of pink and green that gives shade to the forest floor. Someone cautiously strides along into frame, Natalie Burrows dressed appropriately for an afternoon tea in a coral-colored tea-length dress, a white cardigan left unbuttoned over it. Crisp white canvas ballet flats carry her forward as the Number One Contender adjusts her grip upon the picnic basket at her side. She appears nervous, but resolute to see this through.
Natalie rounds a corner into a clearing. The chirping of birds can be heard, along with someone humming delightfully. In front of Natalie, there is a large table with a white tablecloth. Wooden chairs surround the table, seemingly hand-crafted from the trees of this very forest. At the head of the table is a tall-backed ornate fabric-wrapped chair, and in it, sits none other than…
Majesty: Hellloooo, Natalie! I’m so glad you came by.
Majesty has their hair teased up, steely blonde, like a 1980’s prom queen. They wear a gorgeous, flowing pink dress, and a necklace of blue flowers. They smile warmly at Natalie, who returns the favor.
Majesty: Oh, let me help you with that!!
Majesty snaps their fingers and on command, two cartoon animated birds chirp warmly and fly down from the trees, helping Natalie remove her cardigan Natalie gasps and puts a hand to her chest. A little squirrel, also animated, runs up to Natalie and takes her picnic basket from her, carrying it over to the table and setting it down in front of Majesty.
Majesty: I can’t wait to see what you’ve brought me, dear. Won’t you have a seat?
The two birds drape Natalie’s cardigan over one of the chairs, ushering her over to it. A cartoon deer roams out of the forest and uses his antlers to pull the chair out for Natalie. She smooths her dress and takes a seat, and the deer pushes her chair back in. It’s clear that the cartoon animals in particular are more than a little… unsettling, but she pushes through by settling on what she knows. Namely, she’s focusing on manners.
Natalie: Ah, thank you--and thank you for the invitation, though, ah… forgive the question, but do you prefer mister, miss, or is another title more to your liking?
Majesty: Majesty is just fine by me, sweetie.
The Southern Belle nods.
Natalie: So Majesty, then. Shall we?
Majesty: Oh, let’s!
Natalie opens the picnic basket, withdrawing a nicely-made thermos and setting it to one side.
Natalie: That is sweet tea, brewed just as my mom and my grandmothers made it. These…
A Tupperware container is next to be extracted.
Natalie: These are ladyfingers--
Majesty: Oh, I much prefer guy fingers myself. The texture is more palatable.
The Southern Belle quirks a brow, amusement clear on her features even if the joke was a little... uncouth.
Natalie: They’re a kind of cookie. Go ahead and try one.
As Natalie continues to ferry out more Tupperware containers, Majesty pops the lid off the Tupperware and retrieves a ladyfinger. She examines it closely.
Majesty: Not like any finger I’ve ever seen!
Cautiously, Majesty moves the cookie to their lips, hesitating briefly to sniff it.
Majesty: It smells… sweet!
In one large chomp, Majesty bites down on the biscuit and takes a full bite. They chew for a moment, brow furrowed before their eyes light up.
Majesty: OH. MY. GOODNESS!!!
Majesty quickly shovels the remaining bit of ladyfinger into their mouth, gobbling away quickly. Crumbs and mess go flying everywhere. Almost in a frenzy, Majesty reaches for another and devours it in one bite, their mouth seemingly coming unhinged at the jaw in order to accommodate the larger bite. Natalie sits and watches, her head craning to the side just a bit, only slightly unsettled by the physical deformation happening right in front of her. Majesty gobbles away at the rest of the biscuit before letting loose a mighty belch.
Majesty: Bhrp-UUUUUUUURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH--
The sound of the belch echoes for what feels like an eternity, bouncing off the trees. A flock of birds is seen struggling against the mighty gale force winds before being whisked off into the abyss. A family of cartoon rabbits is seen grabbing onto a tree root for dear life, struggling against the mighty wind… it isn’t long before their fur and flesh are ripped from their skeleton in the process, spattering their cartoon blood into the furious wind.
Finally, mercifully, the belch subsides and Majesty daintily raises a kerchief to their mouth, dabbing at the corners of it with a mischievous smirk.
Majesty: Excuse me! It has been eons since I tasted something so delectable.
For her part, Natalie looks… well, a little shell-shocked. However, considering the other absurd things she’s seen over the years--that and how she has three children who love their Looney Tunes--she’s able to gather herself with a faint shake of her head.
Natalie: ...and here I thought feeding Kilroy Evans and Andrew Kincaid was an adventure.
A gracious chuckle and Burrows opens the thermos, pouring some of the sweet tea into Majesty’s teacup, then her own before closing it and setting it aside.
Natalie: Now, this is meant to be enjoyed cold--there’s some ice in the thermos that I made of unsweetened tea so it won’t get watered down. Take a sip and tell me what you think--but just a sip. The idea is to stretch out the enjoyment of the tea alongside our conversation.
And in the name of demonstrating what she means, Natalie picks up her teacup and takes a sip delicately, pinky ever-so-slightly raised. Majesty mimics Natalie’s style and daintily picks up their teacup, slowly raising a pinky finger to go along with it. They raise their cup to their lips and take a long sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp of their tea. Majesty sits back and smacks their lips together, placing the teacup back down in front of them.
Majesty: Why that is… positively REFRESHING!!
Majesty picks the teacup back up to chug it in a frenzy, but given what happened with the ladyfingers, Natalie gently puts a hand on Majesty’s arm.
Natalie: Now now, Majesty… remember, take it slow.
Majesty releases their grip on the teacup and giggles.
Majesty: Such a strange custom… stretching things out for enjoyment? Pleasure? Mmmm.
Majesty gazes off into the distance.
Majesty: Your customs are so… fascinating.
Majesty picks up their teacup and goes to take a sip, but casts their gaze upon Natalie for a moment instead, hesitating with their lips just inches from the teacup. They sit down the teacup and fold their hands over in front of them, biting their lip and tilting their head to the side, clearly fascinated by Natalie.
Majesty: Miss Burrows… this has been quite a delight for me.
Natalie nods and smiles in agreement.
Natalie: It has for me, too.
Majesty smiles politely back and grins.
Majesty: We do have this… nasty business… coming up. This… trial by combat.
Natalie: Our match?
Majesty winces.
Majesty: Match is such a… poor choice of words, darling. These things have a tendency to become quite brutal, you know.
They stare off into the distance for a moment, lost in thought. Natalie punctures the silence, her tone understanding.
Natalie: Oh, I am... quite aware of how these can go.
Majesty shakes it off and turns back to Natalie.
Majesty: I just… I’ve so enjoyed our time here. I’d hate to sully it with all that brutish mess at Burn It Down. I am quite partial to this sort of engagement. The pleasant chat, the birds, the lady fingers…
Majesty trails off as they dig into the container to pull out another ladyfinger and delicately chomp down on it. Natalie thinks for a moment and responds.
Natalie: I think you’ve been dealing with opponents that do not understand what wrestling is supposed to be about. There doesn’t need to be insults or disrespect or hatred. Our match can be… well, about what a championship match should be about. It can be about the spirit of competition, with both of us trying our best to push what wrestling can be to the next level. Think of it…
A sip of her tea as Natalie weighs her words, trying to find how best to express herself.
Natalie: ...think of it like testing your skills against me, and I, testing my skills against you. Will one of us lose? Unfortunately, yes--but win or lose, we can still be on good terms. You’ve represented the world championship well and, should I win, I will do my best to maintain that standard.
Majesty sits for a moment in thought.
Majesty: Is that what being a fighter is all about for you? Good representation? Honor? Respect?
Natalie pauses briefly before nodding.
Natalie: Yes. It’s what my father believed in, and the man who trained me as well. Being a champion is an honor to carry the responsibility of.
Majesty lets out a long hum, weighing what Natalie has told them.
Majesty: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Strange. Where I’m from, being a true warrior, a fighter, it’s more about… well…
Majesty trails off, not wanting to finish the thought. They stare off for a moment before clapping their hands together excitedly, bringing their attention back to Natalie.
Majesty: I tell you what, Miss Burrows. If you can bring me some more of these tasty ladyfingers at Burn It Down, maybe I’ll give your definition of being a fighter a spin. Could be a fun change, you know. What without all the blood and murder.
Natalie nods.
Natalie: Deal, though you may like something else I’ve brought along more than ladyfingers. I’ve got pecan squares, some shoo-fly pie…
Majesty weighs the options, peering at the Tupperware.
Majesty: Yes, you’ve brought quite the spread indeed… perhaps it’s worth giving your way a try, after all, then.
At the mention of doing things Natalie’s way, a loud, guttural rumble is heard emanating from Majesty’s midsection. They clutch at their head and mutter under their breath.
Majesty: ...no… not now… please…
Natalie raises her eyebrows.
Natalie: Majesty… are you feeling okay?
Sweat begins to bead on Majesty’s forehead. Their eyes flash red briefly, but they are quick to suppress it and turn to Natalie, putting on their best smile.
Majesty: Y--y… yes, darling. This little tea party has… augh… ugh…
Majesty squints and grits their teeth.
Majesty: ...taken… a lot… out of me… perhaps it’s best that I… lie down now…
They keel over on the table, entire body shuddering and lurching forward. Natalie’s eyes go wide as she quickly gathers up her Tupperware, scooping it back into her basket.
Natalie: Y-Yes, of course. I’ll leave you be then. Thank you for the hospitality.
Majesty raises a hand, waving Natalie away. Natalie follows the path back out of the clearing, sensing her way back through the forest. Then all at once, a war cry is let loose from behind her.
Majesty: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~!
The loud yell rattles the ground and shakes the trees. Natalie turns around to find the path she has just come from is now gone, replaced by some dense foliage and shrubbery. Majesty’s tea garden is nowhere to be found. Natalie looks around her, confused, and disoriented… and concerned for the well-being of her host, her opponent.
...her friend.
Fade to black.
Walter Stanford: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is our main event for the X-Crown Championship!
Wright: It’s an honor and a privilege to be able to call one of these yet again.
Park: We’ve seen great battles between Black and Misha, MYOJIN and Misha, MYOJIN and Valentine, and Sawyer vs. Valentine should be yet another chapter tonight!
Walter Stanford: Introducing first, from Houston, Texas, weighing in at 160 pounds, they are SAAAAAAAAAM SAWYYYYYYYERRRRR!
The arena lights dim as a bassline begins to play. While a silver mist slowly fills the stage, the fans wait in anticipation. A deep voice starts singing in a whisper. Then, a dark figure walks through the mist. Completely decked out in black, the teenager slowly walks forward. The camera mostly keeps its distance. Different angles give a better look, but their face is still mostly obscured in darkness. After climbing the steps and entering the ring, the volume of the music increases.
"I hear the sons of the city and dispossessed
Get down, get undressed
Get pretty but you and me
We got the kingdom, we got the key
We got the empire, now as then
We don't doubt, we don't take direction"
The mist has thinned but the arena is still dark. The song quietens down.
"Lucretia, my reflection, dance the ghost with me"
Then reaches its loud finale. The lights come back on and the fans cheer. The camera focuses on Sam Sawyer's cold, glaring face.
Wright: Sixteen years old and one of the brightest uprising stars to ever emerge from AWF. Sawyer stunned the world and won their X-Crown shot in a hellacious ladder match at our season premiere, and tonight the rookie gets into the biggest match of their life.
Park: The raw passion radiates from Sawyer. This is someone cut out to fight forever, could have a twenty year career if they wanted. Could we be seeing the beginning of greatness tonight for them?
Wright: If they can get it done, they surely become the youngest X-Crown champion in the twenty-year history of the XHF. Remember, Sawyer wasn’t even born when the federation opened!
Seemingly out of nowhere, Greg, Jonnie Valentine's personal assistant, taps ring announcer Marcus Walter Stanford on the shoulder. Walter rolls his eyes and hands Greg the house mic.
Wright: Where the hell he’d come from?
Park: It was like a magic trick!
Greg the Assistant: (deep ring announcer voice) Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Thursday Night Inferno!
The fans boo Greg.
Greg the Assistant: The following is your main event of the evening for the X Crown Championship. It is scheduled for one fall. Your referee sleeps in only a t-shirt and socks, and has roommates.
Chris Mardinly throws his arms like "What?" and then tells some ringsiders that he runs hot.
"Gucci Gucci" by Kreayshawn plays and the arena rocks with boos. After seemingly forever, El Rey steps out in ring gear and Evan Valentine Jr. comes out on crutches.
Wright: There’s our, uh, mighty X-Crown champion as my notes say here, and he’s being accompanied by El Rey!
Park: Something tells me Valentine doesn’t seem ready to compete tonight, though, seeing as how he’s not dressed for this, and the crutches?
Wright: Valentine went through a hellacious cage match with MYOJIN and may have had his leg broken by the Shining Star! We haven’t seen MYOJIN tonight after the stabbing, but the Orion did a damn number and a half on Jonnie Valentine’s kid!
El Rey acts as a sword, cutting through the signs and thrown beer cups being tossed at Evan Valentine Jr. as Valentine limps down the aisle on his crutches. Rey stands on the apron and soaks in their boos like he's smelling a fine wine, and then helps the injured Evan Valentine Jr. up onto the apron with him. Rey steps through the ropes and stands on the second turnbuckle as the crowd chants.
Crowd: YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
Evan hands Greg the Assistant a note. Greg reads it and nods.
Greg the Assistant: Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that the X Crown Champion ,Evan Valentine Jr., has not been medically cleared by his father to wrestle, therefore, taking his place will be EL REEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Wright: What? By his father? Since when can Jonnie Valentine justify medical decisions? Isn’t that a Dr. Lagari decision? Or at least, a Marcus Washington decision?
Park: These fans wanna see Sawyer turn Valentine into paste, they’re not happy about this one!
Wright: Just imagine you’re Sawyer! The biggest match of your life, and you have to suddenly turn and wrestle someone completely different!
Park: How is this going to be a legal defense? What happens if El Rey loses?they’re not happy about this one!
Wright: I guess we’re about to see, there’s the bell! NLW’s El Rey vs. Sam Sawyer, for Evan Valentine Jr’s X-Crown Championship!
Valentine has been helped down the ring steps by Greg as the bell rings. He takes a seat by ringside, propping his leg up on Greg’s lap. It is wrapped in a cast. The change in opponents opens up Sawyer to being taken down by the speedy El Rey as Rey catches them in a series of early armdrags.
Wright: Shit, do we even have stats about El Rey? Pull some up on the website, would you?
Park: 180 pounds, 5’8”... 2 inches taller than Sam and 20 pounds heavier. Weight-wise, has to be one of the smallest X-Crown championship matches ever between these two. Might also be the youngest, as Sawyer is 16 and El Rey is 18.
Wright: What else we do know?
Park: We have seen him wrestle before. Besides being an incredible nuisance for New Money, he wrestled at Battle of the Best and came up short to that smokin’ hot--
UnJoo Park’s commentary is cut off by general admiration for El Rey’s textbook DDT, slamming Sawyer straight into the mat. Valentine shouts words of encouragement and leans his crutch against the barricade so he can applaud his knight in facepaint. Rey bounces off the ropes and leaps up into the air, stomping down directly on Sawyer’s leg as he continues using his speed.
Wright: I don’t know if Sawyer has scouted El Rey like El Rey has scouted Sawyer. Rey knew about this match I don’t know how long in advance, Sawyer just found out like two minutes ago!
Park: This crowd is not happy about this and I imagine XHF officials won’t be either!
Sam Sawyer concentrates all of their weight into becoming the heaviest they possibly can be, refusing to budge and move for the highflying El Rey, who then responds by kicking them square in the ribs. With Sawyer doubled over in pain, Rey bounces off the ropes and drops his weight instead, crashing down on Sawyer’s back with a running senton. The crowd continues to boo as the New Money member stands by the ropes and takes in instruction from Valentine and the general jeering.
Wright: One thing you have to imagine though, what does a win here do for El Rey’s career? Winning a main event X-Crown match would put you on the map for certain!
Park: Maybe a match against his friend when Evan gets better? Who knows!
El Rey grabs Sam and pulls them closer to the ropes, first using the ropes to assist him as he leaps up into the air and then stomps on Sam’s hand, then using the ropes to kick Sam out to the floor. Rey bounces off the ropes and charge forward, shooting himself through the ropes, only being greeted by the harsh landing of Sam Sawyer’s knee lift!
Wright: Sawyer got a knee up on that suicide dive!
Park: That’s a hell of a way to land a move like that! That’ll knock you silly if you’re not careful!
Referee Chris Mardinly begins to count on the outside as both wrestlers are now outside of the ring.
...ONE!
A rejuvenated Sawyer goes to work, stomping the holy hell out of El Rey, walking around his body and finding every single inch of exposed skin they can to put the boot to. Rey eventually crawls away just enough to create some distance with the steps in between.
...TWO!
This doesn’t help El Rey all that much though as Sawyer charges up the steps and lays into Rey with a flying forearm!
Wright: The kid’s not taking Rey’s bullshit anymore! Flying forearm!
Park: The crowd wants to ee Valentine lose that crown by any means necessary, they’re hot for Sawyer!
...THREE!
Sam Sawyer is offered a highfive by a fan, but they completely ignore them to focus on Greg the Assistant and Evan Valentine making a commotion at ringside as Sawyer approaches them. Greg tries to yap at Sawyer, but Sawyer seemingly stares a hole into him, because Greg’s legs lock up and he goes falling back into his chair, nearly taking out Valentine with him!
...FOUR!
Wright: Whoah, what the hell was that?
Park: Stare into the eyes of the beast and the beast will stare back! Sawyer’s not letting this one slip away tonight!
Valentine attempts to talk trash but it’s hard to do with a fierce competitor standing over you. Sawyer grabs the bottom of Valentine’s chair and flips it back with Valentine still in it, sending the X-Crown champion crashing to the floor to one of the loudest pops of the night!
...FIVE!
Wright: This crowd loves a bully sometimes!
Park: Ahh, come off it Oliver, you cheered too. If we can’t get a Valentine vs. Sawyer match tonight, I’ll certainly take Evan getting dumped on his ass.
Wright: He’s injured though! That still isn’t right!
As Sawyer turns around, they’re met with a moonsault as El Rey has lept off the ring apron, crashing down onto the challenger!
...SIX!
Wright: Moonsault! Sawyer never saw it coming!
Park: Neither did we!
El Rey quickly scoops up Sam Sawyer, sending them back into the ring and hooking the leg!
...ONE!
...T-kickout!
Wright: Rey moves quickly, you gotta give him that!
Park: The way you’re talking you’re sounding like you’ve got New Money talking points in front of you! Wait, do you?
UnJoo finds some papers in front of Oliver and scolds him, ripping them up as El Rey looks on, rubbing his face as he realizes that the other teenager in this match won’t go down as easily as he wants. Rey rolls back up to his feet and spots the top rope, deciding he’ll go sky high to take down the gutsy young star. He climbs up and waits for the challenger, but out of instinct, Sawyer bounces off the rope, causing El Rey to land crotch first on the turnbuckle!
Wright: OH! Painful landing for El Rey there!
Park: This could be an opening for Sawyer!
Sawyer approaches El Rey and delivers the stiffest face slap we’ve ever seen in FIRESIDE, popping the crowd!
Wright: Am I allowed to say it?
Park: It is the name of Sam’s trademark!
Wright: Get fucked, El Rey!
Rey stumbles in the corner as Sawyer climbs up to the top rope and stand in front of El Rey, hooking their arm under Rey’s and sweeping the leg as they fall forward, delivering a crushing top rope STO!
Wright: This Corrosion from the top rope! This could be it?
Park: Are we about to see a new X-Crown champion? THe crowd’s on their feet!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...El Rey kicks out!
Wright: No! Just two!
Park: Damn, that could’ve been huge. Evan’s still down here on the outside, Greg’s doing his best to help him back to his feet. That could’ve been it right there.
Sam Sawyer climbs to the top rope and signals for the Sawyersault, inspiring Greg to stop what he’s doing and jump up on the apron, but Sawyer delivers a shoot kick, knocking one of Greg’s teeth out and causing him to hit the floor hard!
Wright: Goodnight Greg!
Park: Could we see the first Sawyersault? Sam likes to hit these in pairs, this could be the beginning of the end!
The crowd roars as Sawyer flies through the air, connecting on their first top rope moonsault! Before going for any kind of cover though, they roll backwards, looking back at the top rope! They climb back up, ready to hit a second!
Wright: You can feel this arena coming alive! Sawyer might be about to end the time of Valentine right here!
Park: Let’s go Sam!
Sawyer balances themselves on the top rope and leaps off the ropes, crashing down onto El Rey with another Sawyersault!
Wright: Sawyersault number two! That’s it! COVER HIM SAM!
Park: COME ON!
Sawyer hooks the leg!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THRE-CRACK!
Wright: NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION!
Park: WAIT A SECOND!
Evan Valentine smiles as referee Chris Mardinly calls for the bell. The crowd cheers for the win!
Walter Stanford: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner… SAAAAAAAAM SAAAAAAAAWYYYYYYYEER!
The crowd roars loudly!
Wright: Sam did---
Greg the Assistant: However, due to the disqualification, your champion is still EVAAAAAAN VALEEEEEEEEEENINTEEEEEE JUNIOOOOOOOOOOR!
Wright: NO! BULLSHIT!
Park: The champ’s advantage -- in a match the champ wasn’t even in!
Valentine takes what’s left of the now-broken crutch and swings it across the back of Sawyer, drawing more booing in as the crowd is furious with the result. The impeding beatdown reveals that Valentine was lying about the cast, as he unstraps it and chucks it ringside so he can drop a knee onto the back of Sawyer’s head, adding insult to injury.
Wright: This jackass-- this jackass lied about the leg injury?
Park: He made El Rey fight for him for nothing!
Wright: What a bastard!
Valentine holds up the X-Crown, smiling like a jackal… until “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark” hits! The crowd cheers as standing at the top of the entrance ramp is the FIRESIDE representative for End of Days, the owner himself, Anthony Caffrey!
Caffrey: Cut my music, cut my music right damn now!
Caffrey is not dressed to wrestle.
Caffrey: Evan, I don’t care what your Dad, what Marcus says, what Mardinly says… I have some administrative work that needs to be done, clearly... these people paid for an X-Crown match between you, and the young star SAM SAWYER!
The crowd cheers!
Caffrey: Therefore, we’re gonna restart this one -- without that rat bastard referee Chris Mardinly, without El Rey, wherever the hell Tanner is he’s not allowed here either, just you, and Sam! Now Chris, Rey, get the hell out of my ring!
The crowd cheers even louder as a security force comes in to remove El Rey and referee Chris Mardinly from ringside. Referee Melissa Davenport jogs down to the ring and slides in.
Wright: Hell yeah! Finally some fairness!
Park: Fairness? Valentine still made Sawyer wrestle a whole first match and broke a crutch over their back!
Wright: You can see by how much Evan’s yelling how much that helped!
Mardinly and El Rey protest fiercely, but the fiercest protestor of all has to be the X-Crown champ himself. Once the ruckus has cleared, the bell rings and the match restarts.
Wright: Round two, I guess!? Sawyer finally gets their hands on Valentine!
Park: If Valentine doesn’t keep laying the boots to them first!
Sawyer hasn’t even gotten back to their feet as Evan comes in and angrily drops another knee on the back of Sawyer’s head, then rolls them over and covers!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Sawyer kicks out!
An angry Valentine covers again!
...ONE!
...TW-Sawyer gets a shoulder up!
Wright: Evan Valentine Jr. went from having a plan for everything to now being on the back foot!
Park: If Sawyer can survive Valentine’s assault now, we may be looking at a new champion once and for all!
Evan Valentine Jr. looks ready to rip his damn hair out as he tries to take a few deep breaths to calm himself. They don’t really work, as indicated by his shaking hands. He locks in a reverse chinlock and then hammers punches into Sawyer, opening up their forehead as blood begins to come out from a cut.
Wright: Valentine has been backed into a corner here and he might be at his most dangerous because of it! Sawyer’s bleeding now!
Park: The X-Crown champ just won the title, he’s not going out on one defense if he can help it!
Blood continues to pour as the crowd boos and the panicked champion seems to finally find some relief, scampering over into a corner and soaking in the response. He pulls himself back up and slaps his legs, driving some energy into them as he gets ready to deliver a Picture Perfect Dropkick.
Wright: The dropkicks of the Valentine family are legendary, are we about to see another match come to a close courtesy of one?
Park: Sawyer hasn’t looked good at all since the restart, they were never prepared to have to wrestle two matches and get assaulted between!
Valentine goes and runs forward, but Sawyer meets them, colliding and rolling forward, grabbing Valentine’s leg and immediately locking in a bicep slicer once they both hit the mat!
Wright: Bicep slicer! Valentine’s trapped!
Park: This hold will break your damn arm if you’re not careful! Sawyer proves to be a student of the game in a massive way, avoiding the picture perfect dropkick with a big move!
Sawyer doesn’t scream for Valentine to tap, just locks the hold in with a silent intensity that lets Valentine knows he’s screwed and in a bad place right away. Valentine, on the other hand, screams out in pain and looks for his exit. This is the first time it really dawns on him that the much friendlier Mardinly is gone and the veteran Davenport is the referee calling the match, meaning most of his tricks have been thwarted. He looks over for a way out of the hold in the form of Rey or Tanner, but they’re both gone, and is so is Greg!
Wright: Valentine’s trapped on an island in there!
Park: There’s not many ways out of that one!
Valentine digs down, twisting his palm and pushing Sawyer’s shoulder onto the mat! The referee is forced to count!
...ONE!
...TWO!
Sawyer has to release the hold to kick out!
Wright: Both shoulders were down, Valentine pulled that counter out of nowhere!
Park: I’m surprised he had that one in him!
Valentine then responds by kicking Sawyer square in the ribs, driving his full force into Sawyer’s side!
Wright: OOF!
Park: That’ll knock the air right out of you!
Evan grabs Sawyer and puts him in the corner, then climbs the top rope and takes Sawyer along with him for the ride, trying to get them up for a top rope superplex, but the damage has been done has Evan’s arm refuses to cooperate! Evan lets out screams of pain as Sawyer targets their slap straight onto the injured arm!
Wright: Get Fucked again! That echoed throughout!
Park: They’re both in high-rent territory, and I have a feeling one of them’s about to go crashing down!
Sawyer gets their leg up and kicks Evan back down to the mat, sending him falling down onto the unforgiving mat rather than his supportive friends! Sawyer turns around as the crowd launches to their feet, roaring and cheering as they land another Sawyersault!
Wright: Sawyersault! Sawyersault! Cover him!
Park: This could be, could it be?!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR-NO!
Evan gets a foot on the ropes!
Wright: No! Damn.
Park: So close, yet so very close.
Sawyer sits on the mat for a few seconds, shaking their head in a rare show of… well, anything, before rubbing their throat, knowing what they might have to do to get the job done. They lean in the corner and wait for Evan so he can deliver the Fire with Fire. Evan is leaning against the bottom turnbuckle with his hands behind him…
Wright: Evan’s up to something again!
Park: Even two inches from dream street, the X-Crown champion has a scheme!
Valentine rolls away from the corner, revealing that he’s exposed the bottom turnbuckle! Referee Melissa Davenport chastises him as she goes to work repairing the turnbuckle, leaving her back turned!
Wright: Evan’s up to something again!
Park: Even two inches from dream street, the X-Crown champion has a scheme!
Sawyer comes running forward with the running lariat, but Valentine ducks it! Sawyer comes moving in again, only to be caught by Valentine and pulled forward! Sawyer’s face turns into a silent scream as they feel their midsection and the crowd launches out of their seats to boo!
Wright: NO! NOT AGAIN!
Park: FUCK!
Blood pours out as Valentine kicks the screwdriver out of the ring, the referee turns around, and Valentine traps Sam’s arm, lifting them up and flipping them down into a burning hammer!
Wright: EVANSENT! NOT THIS WAY!
Park: OH NO! NO! NO!
The cover and the count!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
The bell rings!
Walter Stanford: Here is your winner, and still the X-Crown champion, Evan Valentine Juniiiiiiior!
Even Stanford sounds disgusted as the crowd boos loudly. Valentine smiles and collapses in the center of the ring, clutching his badly damaged arm as the last Evansent has brought him into a constant world of pain after the early bicep slicer. The X-Crown is handed to him and he slowly brings himself back together, shaking his head even though he’s won.
Park: Sam Sawyer, with a star performance, basically beating El Rey and coming this, this close to beating Evan Valentine Junior, only to be literally screwed out of the X-Crown! This sucks!
Wright: In our hearts of hearts, Sawyer was this close to capturing the upset and the biggest win of their young career, but it was ripped away right in the final clutches there by the champion.
Park: And now we have to see him around and gloat, damnit.
Valentine Jr. makes it back up to his feet. The world is against him, but he doesn’t care as he flips the X-Crown back up onto his shoulder and delivers them a hardy middle finger. As the show is about to cut out, the screen above the ramp turns back to the ringside area that we saw earlier in the show.
Wright: Thanks for watching--
The camera pans through the arena. Valentine is confused until the camera stops on a haunting visual to him…
Park: ...what in the world?
...an empty chair.
The lights flicker off, and when they flicker back on, Spike Kane has emerged from out of nowhere! Evan Valentine turns around, looking like he’s seen a ghost!
Wright: SPIKE! SPIKE KANE!
Park: HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A HELLSPAWN PISSED OFF!
Evan tries to shake his head no to beg for mercy, but Spike is having none of it! He lifts the X-Crown champion high up in the air, then comes crashing down with the jackhammer!
Wright: Spike Impaler! Spike Impaler!
Park: Oh my God!
The crowd surprisingly cheers as Spike Kane pushes off of the mat. He looks down and spots the X-Crown, standing in the center of the ring and holding it above his head
Wright: Ladies and gentlemen, I think we just found our X-Crown main event at Burn it Down! Valentine vs. Kane!
Park: Thank you for watching.
Kane takes a good hard look at the Crown he’s come back for, leaving it on Valentine’s unconscious corpse as the show fades to black.