Post by rich121 on Sept 12, 2021 11:14:29 GMT -5
At an unnamed clinic (as requested by their staff) Jester LeBeau is waiting for the doctor to give him his medical release so he can compete at the upcoming Friday Night Free for All…
Jester: (as the doctor enters) "Alrighty there Doc Feelgood, sign those papers and I'll be on my way."
Doctor: "I'm afraid that's not how this works nor is that going to happen today."
Jester: "What? Come on doc, I followed your orders for the most part. I feel good, so let's just set me loose."
Doctor: "I've looked over your tests results and latest scans and you definitely did not follow my orders. You have rebrused your rib cage, have several misaligned vertebrae and a newly sprained ankle. "
Jester: "Oh that? That was just three hookers on a Saturday night. I paid extra for the full treatment when you ain't limping, they didn't do their jobs."
Doctor: "And then there were your blood and urine tests… I've never seen someone function at all with a blood alcohol level this high. And there are so many drugs detected in your urine that the aide who picked up the cup is trying to scratch off his skin… the equipment used to analyze it just keeps flashing 'Dave's not here' on the screen. The specimen cup itself has melted. Two lab technicians now have hepatitis AND syphilis AND juvenile diabetes. (Flips the pages on the chart) and it goes on like that for 2 more pages. Mr. LeBeau, I cannot, under these and other conditions, authorize a medical release for you to go back to wrestling just yet. You shouldn't even be allowed to walk out in the general population, you need to be back in the hospital, preferably in a bubble until you get healed and detoxified."
Jester: "Not happening. For all you know that's how my fluids always are. (Jester grabs a tongue depressor, opens the ring he is wearing, taps a white powder on the the depressor, lifts it to his nose and inhales it) This is just how I live. Now about that release, I need to get back in the ring and get paid."
Doctor: "While I cannot clear you for in ring participation, I could allow you to do something else, time keeper, ring announcer, guest commentary…
Jester: "Referee?"
Doctor: "um, well I suppose that would be possible. IF you limit your actual physical involvement, no actual fighting, then yes."
Jester: (smiles a devious smile) "That sounds wonderful."
Jester: (as the doctor enters) "Alrighty there Doc Feelgood, sign those papers and I'll be on my way."
Doctor: "I'm afraid that's not how this works nor is that going to happen today."
Jester: "What? Come on doc, I followed your orders for the most part. I feel good, so let's just set me loose."
Doctor: "I've looked over your tests results and latest scans and you definitely did not follow my orders. You have rebrused your rib cage, have several misaligned vertebrae and a newly sprained ankle. "
Jester: "Oh that? That was just three hookers on a Saturday night. I paid extra for the full treatment when you ain't limping, they didn't do their jobs."
Doctor: "And then there were your blood and urine tests… I've never seen someone function at all with a blood alcohol level this high. And there are so many drugs detected in your urine that the aide who picked up the cup is trying to scratch off his skin… the equipment used to analyze it just keeps flashing 'Dave's not here' on the screen. The specimen cup itself has melted. Two lab technicians now have hepatitis AND syphilis AND juvenile diabetes. (Flips the pages on the chart) and it goes on like that for 2 more pages. Mr. LeBeau, I cannot, under these and other conditions, authorize a medical release for you to go back to wrestling just yet. You shouldn't even be allowed to walk out in the general population, you need to be back in the hospital, preferably in a bubble until you get healed and detoxified."
Jester: "Not happening. For all you know that's how my fluids always are. (Jester grabs a tongue depressor, opens the ring he is wearing, taps a white powder on the the depressor, lifts it to his nose and inhales it) This is just how I live. Now about that release, I need to get back in the ring and get paid."
Doctor: "While I cannot clear you for in ring participation, I could allow you to do something else, time keeper, ring announcer, guest commentary…
Jester: "Referee?"
Doctor: "um, well I suppose that would be possible. IF you limit your actual physical involvement, no actual fighting, then yes."
Jester: (smiles a devious smile) "That sounds wonderful."