That's Just Prime (FftF promo 1/2)

[Dave D-Flipz]

: "You … "

*A ferocious mangy maw appears right in front of the camera as we look into the eyes and mouth of the grossest man in NPW, the beast of the north, the hairman of the board, Primal. He scowls into the camera as if he is willing to bite out its still beating heart.*

: "You think this is a joke. You think this is funny. You have no idea what it is you have set before you, do you?"

*He lunges back and we now see he was leaning over a table and right into the camera. On the table is Buttons the War Corgi in a military outfit with little captain’s marks on him. Primal slams his hands on the table and the pooch cocks its head up at him with a quizzical look*

: "How fucking dare you both disrespect me? Timeless this … Timeless that … DO YOU FOOLS NOT UNDERSTAND THAT HE IS MERELY THE FACE OF THE OPERATION? THE TIMEY WIMEY SHIT? We come as a team. And you have forgotten that Primal is the meat monster. You’ve forgotten your place … beneath my heel. Ground into the dirt. Food for the worms."

*He flips the table with such ferocity that it flips a full 360 and lands on its feet. Primal looks down at it with a cocked eyebrow. Buttons peers out from underneath the table with a look of “WTF, bro?”. Primal snarls and flips the table to the side … where it now lands on its feet again but 2 tablelengths to the left.*

: "Grrr."

: "GRRRRRRR!"

*Buttons begins attacking the tables legs. Primal smirks and looks back into the camera, content that the Dylan Black promo staple will get its just desserts.*

: "PRIME … TIME … the team … is PRIME TIME. This is a two man show. And you have pissed off the wrong part of the team. Se Timeless gets mad, and he gets aggressive. But you know what you’re in for. Maybe a metal hand to the face. Maybe some interference from the siren of the north. But nothing too different. But me? Have you all forgotten that my base level is apathy and fun? Have you all forgotten what happens to people when I become serious? When I set my eyes on a prize? I think you have. In all your talk about the fallen, the wartorn, the heroes… you’ve forgotten that their fight is over. They lie in the ground. Venerated and respected … but gone … just like those who would stand up to me."

*He huffs and steps to the camera as the table lurches as Buttons has made it through one leg and moves to another.*

: "But you are no avenging heroes. You are no warriors sent to defend the ‘greater good’. You are a bunch of bastards. A bunch of wayward pieces of meat set before me to be put in the ground. Fodder for the killing fields. More names to add to the memorial walls. I have a body count higher than most battlefields do gentlefucks. And you chuckling fools need to put respect on my name, because you’ve gone and made the Beast of the North angry. AND YOU WON’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M ANGRY!"

*He lunges to the side and slams an axehandle smash on the table splintering it into a hundred pieces as Buttons chases the larger ones around like a game. Primal breathes deep and turns to the camera. He slowly calms his breathing and begins a low laugh. A sound that mimics the rumble of jet engines and gives a sense of creep factor on par with an abandoned gym’s men’s room showers. He pulls a clump of hair from his chest and stretches it between his hands into a rope.*

: "There will be no remembrance for the fallen here. There will be no medals, no honor, no memorials, no fights for the fools. You can disrespect all you want on others. Talk about victims or what have you. But you will LEARN YOUR PLACE when it comes to Primal. Because as good as Timeless is. A year undefeated in singles matches. He was never able to capture a title … until he earned MY respect. Until he got on the same level as ME. I am the driving force in NPW and it’s long past time that I showed you all what happens when I stop enjoying myself. Well … I make my own fun … and I fight to MAKE more fallen."

*He picks up Buttons and holds him in his arms. He strokes the vicious attack monster, who … purrs? … lovingly while licking his maw waiting for the food to come.*

: "So Frank Windsor … Rob Riot … you want to fuck around and try to sully our team by imagining us both stuck in some shit of Timeless’s making?"

: "BORK WOOF WOOF!"

: "I think you’ll find a new reality laid in your laps at Honor. A situation you both will find most unpleasant. But for me? Oh … that’s … just … PRIME!"

*He shoves the camera away and stomps it, laughing that disgusting, malicious laugh as the feed cuts*