Post by Matt on Sept 17, 2021 15:31:00 GMT -5
Click here to read the show in Google Docs or simply check it out below.
(Lit’s “My Own Worst Enemy” plays as the show begins. The hype from Sin City Strike has bellowed over to this evening as we see another packed house. The scene moves over to the announcers’ table where Baptist Lobo addresses the audience watching from the stream.)
Lobo: Welcome everyone to Friday Night Free-For-All! What a...
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The Black Hand In-Ring Segment
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(“Darkbreed” by Robert Slump begins to play over the sound system as the lights fade and a smoke machine begins to fill the entrance way. Blue and red lights flash up and down the aisle to the ring. A single spot light shines behind Adam Miller, Rain Blackheart and Devin Bishop as the three raise their right hands, all covered by a black leather gloves. As a single unit, they walk to the ring as the fans chant "Blaaaack Haaaand….Blaaaack Haaaand!" As they approach the ring, Adam Miller takes the apron first, slinging shooting over the top rope with a somersault. Rain and Devin climb the ring steps on either side of the ring and enter the ring through the top and middle rope. Bishop turns slowly, the arena lights coming up to catch the jewel encrusted championship belt around his waist and Blackheart leans over the top rope, surveying the fans. Anderson hands the microphone into the ring and Bishop takes it in hand, preparing to speak.)
Bishop: Take a moment to show some appreciation and soak up the glory of the most dominant force in Up Wrestling. Yes, we are here to bask in the adoration of the fans, and to boast about our recent achievements. First, yours truly defeated two other competitors who are firing on all cylinders...two champions who have earned a place in UPW history. Two competitors who stand above the rest by defending their titles week after week. Then comes along "The Apex!" Devin Bishop, who proves time and time again why I stand atop the mountain. My skill, determination, intestinal fortitude have elevated me above all the competition, and I proved it by becoming THE "Champion of Champions." And then...the rest of the Black Hand….the crowning jewel of UPW...took on the cream of the crop...the best representatives the Alliance and the CCZA could muster in the Dead Man's Hand Match...a brutal and chaotic display of pure, unadulterated violence. And what happened? In the end...The Professional made Maddox, one of the best of the best...tap out. He made an unstoppable force finally say "I quit!" Tell them about it, Rain!
Rain: "If we've said it once, we've said it a hundred times and it is as true as it has always been… we are the best that UPW has, period. We are no longer waiting for our time to come because our time is now! The Dead Man's Hand only proved what I have been saying for weeks, any time, any where, under any situation the Black Hand prevails. Pixi, you are now zero for two against me so cut your losses, hug some trees and kiss some crystals because that's as good as you're going to do against me. Maddox, you talk a good game, you look like a star, you even had a nice little run but you found out that while a star can perform, a professional gets the job done. And that's just what I did. Apex Killers… Alliances… inbred hilljacks, parasitic cults… What have any of you accomplished today? Nothing. Nothing because you worry about appearances, endorsements, merchandise, and costumes when you should have focused on being the best. Well, let me give you some advice… to be the best you have to beat the best and as this roster has already seen time and time again that's not going to happen. Apex is not just a cool word but rather the single most accurate description of the Black Hand you will ever hear."
(Rain hands the mic to Miller)
Miller: (looks around the arena) Y'all are all finally starting to get it ain't ya? The Alliance and the rest of those in the back, I take my hat off to you. I really do, by God you tried but….(Raises his right hand) This. This is a symbol. A symbol of excellence. The other day I was walking past City Hall and the Mayor held up his hand. He gets it! This symbol shows power, money, professionalism. Now we have the next phase of our dominance, you will witness Rated M become the most dominant tag team in professional wrestling. You will see Rain Blackheart be the most proficient Sin City Champion and Devon Bishop continue his unstoppable reign as your World Champion! Sin City Strike proved that diamonds are forever, and so are the Black Hand!
(Terrance Christopher has slipped into the ring unnoticed and steps beside Miller as Adam hands TC the mike)
TC: "Now now now now now now before I get started let me take care of some old business that got passed over at Sin City Strike… some mystery man said the three most feared letters in wrestling are T-C-E and he was correct. There is no one more feared and respected than the client's of the managerial services of Terrance Christopher Enterprises aka the only T.C.E. that anyone should concern themselves with and any others are just pale imitations trying to ride on the coattails of my established brand.
"Now, on to the point of this verbal exposition. Whether there are 4, 3, 2, or just one, the Black Hand is not to be taken lightly. The Black Hand is not to be overlooked by anyone from the new Jack's showing up wanting to make a name for themselves all the way to the established veterans who know first hand what these men are capable of yet still for some goddamn reason think they can somehow get one over on them. In both cases and everyone in between you needs to realize the red letter gospel… there is no single person, team or group that will ever… and I mean EVER be anywhere near the excellence of the Apex of UPW. The longest reigning World Champion, the uncrowned tag team champions and the wrestling professional who will redefine the excellence of the Sin City Championship. We are at the top of the game and that is where we will remain."
Bishop: Testify, testify! The words of Terrance Christopher could not be more correct. The front office knows it, the locker room knows it, and these fans right here in Las Vegas Nevada, and the thousands upon thousands watching at home know it. We are the North Star of UPW. We are the true North. Always accurate, precise and intense. However…..
Some of you may have noticed the absence of one of our members tonight. A man crowned in glory. A man who can boast being the very first main event attraction for UPW. A man who can also boast being the very first champion ever in UPW history. One half of the future tag team champions, King Diaz. Well, it seems that some little man...some little, short sighted, self important, ignorant, insignificant man…has decided that he has the RIGHT to decide what happens to a member of the Black Hand. That somehow, he has a say in the goings on within this organization. A bitter, callous, and most importantly, delusional man who calls himself 'Old Bitch.' Well...at least he got that part right. Collet! I think the message I sent you may have changed your mind. I certainly hope it has because if my Executive Assistant has to move on to phase three of our attempt to persuade you...well…. let's just say the lady is very...VERY...persuasive.
TC: "I will attest to that Champ. Now I gotta question for you, Mr. Bishop. We know that one of the perks of winning the Champion's Clash match at Sin City Strike was that you, good sir, could name your next challenger to YOUR world title at Hostile Fury. And I believe now would be an excellent time to reveal who will get the privilege of being in the ring with you for the championship and who will be made famous by having that match with you."
Bishop: You're right, Terrance, but who to choose? I mean...so many worthy opponents to consider. Tater and Bubba? Let me see you win one match first. Back of the line, gents. Carson or Annie Castle? Not the greatest win loss record there either. And by the way, your little stunt with my party bus...Do you really think I didn't have premium insurance to cover that? I actually made a profit off of it, so...thank you. Maybe we could bring Chad back for one last hurrah?
No…. Seriously, let's talk about this for a moment. Jack Ruby...done. CJ Walker...done. Ron Masterson...done. Cage…. A man looking for one last taste of glory and looking in the wrong damn place. Sorry, old man. Krueger...or Das Corningware, or the great crack in your ass or the mysterious blue balls…I think you have plenty on your plate dealing with your identity crisis, so that's a no. Maddox? Why don't we save that for Vendetta because that is exactly what I have for you, sir. A vendetta. No, no, no. I have my eye on two of the top talents UPW has to offer, and...would you look at that? They just so happen to have a one on one match tonight! So...lace up your boots tight and bring all the fight you have in you. Pixilicious and Nathaniel meet right here, tonight, but it won't just be for bragging rights. It will be a contest to determine the number one contender to the UPW Openweight Championship….to MY Openweight Championship.
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Kruger Olejnik vs. Bubba & Tater
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Lobo: Kruger Olejnik was already an imposing figure.
V: Imposing? Like that dude is legit scary.
Sir Oliver: A mountain of a man I must say. Mr. Olejnik has accomplished most anything he sets his mind to. I wonder where his head is at now?
Lobo: We have no clue. William Payne has warned us. Kruger has only shown us a brief bit of what’s to come.
Sir Oliver: He struck at the Black Hand during Sin City Strike. I daresay that they are not his only targets. Mr. Olejnik may see everyone in UP Wrestling as an enemy.
V: Well he’s got to face two imbeciles at the same time tonight.
Lobo: Two to one odds are normally good, but I would not like to be Bubba or Tater tonight.
*Anderson: All the way from Hickory, North Carolina… at a combined weight of four hundred and sixty-two pounds... they are BUBBA and TATER!!!
(“Ugly” by Bubba Sparxxx begins to play as Bubba heads out from behind the curtain. He wears blue jeans, old, black wrestling boots, and black suspenders. A shirt is not present. He pulls the suspenders out, sliding his fingers up and down while sticking his tongue out. He lets them go and they snap hard against his skin. Bubba shakes it off and heads into the ring with his good buddy, Tater.)
Lobo: What you said earlier may have some merit, Vee. Bubba and Tater look excited to be out here.
V: Duh. These guys aren’t imbeciles. They might as well be internet marks who think they can wrestle better than my Devy. Listen, if any of you losers got in the ring… well, you’d like be near death just like these two.
Sir Oliver: I’m struggling to follow.
V: They’re ignorant. People hiding behind their computers have no clue what it's like being in the ring, but they act like they know everything. Bubba and Tater are ignorant. They think this is a wrestling match. This is the last rights.
(One by one the lights start going dark. The audience is draped in shadows.
Then red. Red erratic pulses flash throughout the room. They gain steam and power as Carach Angren’s “Skull with a Forked Tongue” hits. From the dark portal of the entrance way comes an enormous figure, the smoke machine working overtime. With a methodical, slow, agonizingly intimidating walk, clad in thick black boots, emerges the figure once known as Kruger Olejnik, now the Crimson Mask. A red "mask" is draped over his head though more a cloth than a mask. The bottom is loose and ragged, looking as if blood was poured over it and dripped down. The mountain of a human being, this artifice of war, is draped in blood strained, loose overalls. They were once white. But gore is entrenched in them, age, dirt and wear bringing them a horror of their own. His hands are wrapped in dirty tape and within the crushing power is held, in each, a dented and rusty metal bucket.)
V: Uh... like I am seriously creeped out. Don't laugh at me if I cry.
Lobo: This new persona is something else. I honestly thought Kruger was the scariest person I'd ever seen. Well... I've been proven wrong.
(One big step by one big step the creature makes his way into the ring, leaving the buckets in his corner. He stands, chest heaving in anticipation, looking at the two across the ring.)
Lobo: Who or what are we looking at here?
V: Like, the Crimson Mask. Stop calling him Kruger. That’s a man’s name. Like, that’s a monster.
Sir Oliver: I believe the ignorance has been washed away from his opponents.
Lobo: I’m not seeing Bubba and his usual antics with the belly slapping.
V: Dude is shitting his pants right now. Like, give him a minute.
(BELL RINGS)
Sir Oliver: There will be no minute. This match has begun!
Lobo: Bubba and Tater are trying to figure out who will start the match, but the Crimson Mask does not hesitate.
(The Crimson Mask rushes over, nearly decapitating both men with a double arm clothesline. Fortunately for Tater, he falls out of the ring. Bubba looks as though he stepped out in traffic. He’s hurt and confused. The Crimson Mask sticks his large wrestling boot on Bubba’s neck. Referee Alexander Xavier Edwards counts to four before a release occurs. Afterwards, the Crimson Mask stomps on Bubba’s chest, sending him hurling up off the mat only to drop back down in a slump.)
Sir Oliver: Mr. Olejnik or as he now calls himself, the Crimson Mask, is truly looking like a changed man. He is a wrestling purist. The man in the ring looks to be a wrestling sadist.
(The Crimson Mask reaches down and pulls Bubba up by the throat. He hurls him into the turnbuckle and begins throwing meathook punches right into Bubba’s gut. After what feels like a long time and more strikes than you’d want to count, he stops and Bubba immediately drops to the mat. A look of desperation is plastered on Bubba’s face as he turns and tries to claw on the mat.)
V: Yeah, he might want to try and find the nearest exit. An escape plan is like, the only way to go at this point.
(Bubba does grasp the rope, albeit briefly. The Crimson Mask jerks him up and lands a nasty headbutt. Bubba would have dropped right back down, but the Crimson Mask’s strength keeps him upright. Knocked out of his senses, Bubba doesn’t even fight back when the Crimson Mask lifts him up and hits a chokeslam.)
Lobo: The Crimson Mask chokeslammed an over two hundred and sixty pound man with ease!
(Tater is up on the outside. He looks at his friend and then at the Crimson Mask. Tater makes the decision that this fight isn’t for him and begins to head around the ring. The Crimson Mask climbs out nearest to the entrance and cuts him off. Tater’s frightened face takes a boot that sends him sprawling back and over the steel steps. He hits the back of his head hard and folds up briefly before laying out on the concrete floor. The Crimson Mask grabs him by the hair and pulls him up. Tater then ends up going face first into the outside ringpost. He whiplashes off it, twisting his body around, before hitting the floor again.)
Sir Oliver: This Crimson Mask is imposing his will at command. He’s taken two big hearted men and decimated them in a matter of moments.
(The Crimson Mask is yet to be done with Tater. He bends down slowly and lifts Tater up with ease onto his shoulder. He takes a big step over and hurls Tater up, only for him to drop down on the metal guardrail. Tater bounces off unnaturally and bounces off the floor for a third time in a matter of seconds.)
V: I would say to call their next of kin, but honestly, like who is going to claim either one of these guys.
Lobo: The Crimson Mask’s walk up the steel steps and back into the ring is even menacing.
(Bubba is trying to get back up inside the ring. Not a smart move.)
Lobo: The Crimson Mask hits a SPINNING K.O.!
V: There went a shoe.
(Bubba twists in the air like a lucha libre without an ounce of their grace. He falls to the mat, motionless. The Crimson Mask steps out of the ring again and stands over his dented, rusty buckets. He slowly leans down dipping both his right and left hands into them, pulling out what appears to be blood soaked fists. He methodically stalks his way back into the ring. Bubba lays right where the Crimson Mask left him. He pulls Bubba up, hands ripping. Bubba’s eyes are rolling back in his head, but that doesn’t stop the Crimson Mask from locking in the Iron Claw. The blood slides down Bubba’s face as his body begins to twitch.)
Lobo: Before the referee can check Bubba, the Crimson Mask lifts him up and slams Bubba to the mat still holding onto the Iron Claw!
Sir Oliver: Referee Edwards does a check and immediately calls for the bell!
(BELL RINGS)
*Anderson: The winner of the match… THE CRIMSON MASK!!!
Lobo: He’s not letting go! Bubba was twitching and now he went limp. Edwards is calling for him to let go. The bell is still getting rung like crazy. Tater is down and out or smartly pretending to be.
Sir Oliver: After several warnings, The Crimson Mask lets go. He motions towards Referee Edwards who smartly bails out of the ring.
Lobo: What did we just witness?
V: The Reaper of UP Wrestling...
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David Berg vs. ??????
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Lobo: Lots of fresh blood coming through UP Wrestling.
V: But not one of them claims to be the King of the Streets.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Berg may be a controversial character. I am curious to see how our fans react to him.
Lobo: Oh, he’ll get one. He may become a polarizing figure in our company. I don’t say that in a bad way. He’s a man who has firm beliefs that he stands on and that will surely ruffle some feathers.
Sir Oliver: I see Madame Wu found some local talent to try out as well.
V: Mom loves a good slaughter. Have you ever seen one of those gladiator-like videos? The one where they put the lion in the ring with this fool who can’t even get his helmet on right. That’s what I imagine we’ll see.
*Anderson: Already in the ring from right here in Las Vegas, Nevada… he is… HOPPER!!!
Lobo: Hopper looks like he has some spirit. I think he brought along some friends and family too.
V: Well that was stupid.
*Anderson: Hailing from Jerusalem, in Israel. He stands 6'3 and he weighs 235 pounds. He is the King of the Streets, David Berg!
(Civil War by Guns N' Roses begins to play as the fans look over. As the song picks up steam, David Berg walks out. He is wearing dark black camouflage pants, no shirt and holds a giant Israeli flag as he saunters to the ring to a mixed reaction. He places the flag near the announcers and then adroitly hops over the ring ropes, ready for action. The look on his face is consistently stoic with a twinge of anger and annoyance.)
Lobo: A man that bleeds his country that Dave Berg.
Sir Oliver: I understand that very well, Old Chap.
V: Then why don’t you go back?
Sir Oliver: Oh I do every chance I get.
V: Then why don’t you stay?
Sir Oliver: At times, I get the impression you don’t like me very much Ms. Vee.
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: And here we go! Hopper walks up and actually extends his hand. Berg gives him a look, but does extend out his as well. A show of respect here from each man. Now, we get down to the action. Hopper backs up and hops around looking for an opening.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Berg already found his. He kicks Mr. Hopper in the ribs and continues to do so until he goes down on one knee.
V: Did you hear that? Those are some nasty kicks.
Lobo: Berg backs into the corner and runs back out… spin kick to the gut as Hopper tries to get back to his feet! He’s down again. Berg measures him… and hits him with the HEBREW HAMMER!
Sir Oliver: He stomped that poor man’s face into the mat!
Edwards: 1… 2… 3!!!
Lobo: And just like that David Berg wins his first match in UP Wrestling.
*Anderson: The winner of this match in a time of one minute and fifteen seconds… THE KING OF THE STREETS… DAVID BERG!!!
Sir Oliver: An impressive showing for Mr. Berg.
V: Yeah, but he could have egged it on more. I love watching guys like Hopper just get the literal crap kicked out of them.
LATER TONIGHT…
PIXILIOUS VERSUS NATHANIEL
WINNER FACES “THE APEX” DEVIN BISHOP AT HOSTILE FURY FOR THE UP WRESTLING OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!
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Runel Abekab vs. CJ Walker
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Lobo: Runel is a newcomer to UP Wrestling. It’d be a career defining moment to defeat a former World Heavyweight Champion here tonight.
Sir Oliver: A fine young man with the most improbable name.
V: Like, what kind of stupid name is Goblin? Is he green? Does he ride a bat rocket?
Sir Oliver: What in the world are you on about young lady?
V: What? Don’t they have Spiderman in England?
Sir Oliver: Is that a superhero of some sort?
Lobo: Sir Oliver, Spiderman is a graphic novel character, and one of his arch enemies is a character named The Green Goblin.
V: Like, get some culture old man!
Sir Oliver: I assure you, I have plenty of culture. Just not the particular culture you apparently cultivate.
Lobo: Can we please get back to the match?
Sir Oliver: Quite. I agree and apologize for going so off topic.
(Cut to the ring)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is a singles competition. It is set for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Introducing first, already in the ring, please welcome The Unbreakable Goblin!
(Mild applause for the newcomer)
Lobo: Sir Oliver, what do we know about the Unbreakable Goblin?
Sir Oliver: Sadly, not much.
V: I’m not, like, impressed.
*Anderson: And his opponent, now making his way to the ring, From Butcher's Hollow in The Ozarks of Arkansas. He stands 6'7 and One Half inches tall. Weighing in at 277 pounds. The Vengeful One, CJ Walker!"
("Valhalla Calling Me" by Miracle Of Sound (Metal Version) begins to play as Walker is seen standing at an entry tunnel in the arena where the fans enter and exit. He is dressed in jeans, black boots, and his "Come Hell Or Valhalla" sleeveless shirt. The fans reach out to touch their hero as he begins to descend the steps down towards the ring side area. Pushing his way through the sea of fans towards the barricade he hops the barricade with a hand carved mahogany club in his hand, the club is adorned with Norse runes and a snarling wolf. Walker takes his time to circle around the ring. His eyes scan the crowd and whoever is in the ring. He climbs up slowly onto the apron, stopping there to look back at the crowd then turns his focus into the ring. He steps between the ropes with the club in his taped fist, ready to crack skulls and brutalize his opponent.)
Lobo: Walker is looking at the Unbreakable Goblin like something he scraped off his shoe.
V: Walker looks like he wants to use the club on Goblin and just end this match now.
Sir Oliver: Referee Edwards is not going to allow that.to happen.
V: Like, what a shame. At least that would probably provide some sort of entertainment.
Lobo: Let’s give the newcomer a chance, shall we?
V: Ok, but he’d better impress or I’ll have a word with my mother.
(BELL RINGS)
(The bell rings and both men move to the center of the ring. The Goblin sticks his hand out for Walker to shake but Walker grabs The Goblin by the wrist and whips him hard into the ropes. The Goblin comes off and is met by a devastating heart punch that sends him to the mat. CJ goes for the quick cover)
Edwards: 1…2…shoulder up.
Lobo: A rather inauspicious start for the Goblin.
Sir Oliver: He obviously didn’t do his homework because if he had, he would have known better than to offer his hand to Walker like that.
V: I don’t know. Perhaps he was going to try something sneaky. Or not. Perhaps he really IS that stupid.
(Both men are on their feet. The Goblin takes Walker down with a leg dive and grapevines the leg. Walker grabs the bottom rope and Edwards calls for the break.
(The Goblin lets Walker go and backs away. Walker gets to his feet and glares at the Goblin. The Goblin grabs Walker’s arm and starts to whip him into the corner. Walker reverses it and sends the Goblin crashing into the corner instead.
Walker charges in and lands a big splash then takes him out of the corner with a monkey flip that sends The Goblin halfway across the ring. Walker climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes flying off with a tremendous moonsault. Walker with the cover.)
Edwards: 1…2…toss off.
(Walker is back on his feet and hauls The Goblin back to his feet. He sets The Goblin up for a ripcord, pulls him in and drags a thumb across his throat. Walker pushes The Goblin away, then pulls him back in and delivers a devastating heart punch.
(Walker with the cover.)
Edwards: 1…2…3!
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, in the time of 7:32, your winner, C. J. WALKER!
Lobo: Walker made short work of the Unbreakable Goblin.
V: Like, he wasn’t so unbreakable after all.
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Sit Down Interview With TCE
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(The scene begins in a dark room. Lights hang above the two people inside it. Grace is seated looking marvelous as ever. Across from her is Cage’s attacker at Sin City Strike, TCE.)
Grace: Thank you for joining me tonight.
(TCE sits there like he’s been in this position a thousand times. He oozes confidence in his three piece black suit with red accents.)
TCE: You’re welcome.
(His straight to the point response throws Grace off for a brief second. She rebounds and fires a question.)
Grace: Well, then let’s get to it. Why did you attack Cage two weeks ago at Sin City Strike?
(TCE seems to already know his answer, but he sits back and makes her and the rest of us wait. When it begins to feel quite awkward, he responds.)
TCE: Cage and I have a storied history. We have known each other for well over a decade. He and I have been all over this world fighting others or each other. I have beaten him. I have taken from him. I have destroyed him. I have owned him.
Grace: But why follow him here and attack him?
TCE: Follow? Cage was hunted down like the squirrel loving silver medal man that he is. Cage has tried to duck me for years. I show up somewhere and he scurries away like a roach when the lights come on. You put him in the same room as me and he feels small. He told you. I have defeated Cage time and time again.
Grace: What point are you trying to prove then?
TCE: That he can’t run any more. I’ve cornered him. Cage came to UP Wrestling for his last hurrah. He wants one more title run. He wants to tag with this boy, Ron. He wants a lot of things. That’s a part of the reason I own him. Cage lacks focus. Pick something. Anything. Laser focus in on it and do it by any means necessary. Stop thinking up a damn tag team name and start winning tag team matches. Stop multitasking with the focus on the world title. Pick... one... thing.
Grace: And now that you have him cornered… what’s next?
TCE: I get a real final match with him. I’m not here for Devin Bishop, CJ Walker, Maddox, Pixilious, or anyone else. No, Cage and I are going to battle one more time one on one. I’ve beat him all over this world and established dominance like only I can. Cage thinks he can run to UP Wrestling and win a few times on his way out of his wrestling boots? I think not. If Cage wants a true farewell tour… I’ll be the one who ends him.
Grace: Why would you do this to someone who you admit was on your side fighting others?
TCE: Cage was always an end to the means. I needed someone to help me with a fight and the fool would answer the call. Sometimes, I figured he knew I’d betray him before I even did. Didn’t matter. Cage is one of those hero boys. Ignorant, but useful.
Grace: What point do you make by being the one that ends him?
TCE: Listen Grace… you don’t know me very well it seems. I’m a wrestling legend. I’ve won multiple world titles and others as well. I’m in several Hall of Fames. Hell, I'm In some more than once. My entire career has been about building my legacy. I’ve done that.
Grace: So again, what’s the point?
TCE: The point is for the first time in my over twenty year career, this isn’t about my legacy. I don’t need to beat Cage again. My track record against him is solidified. I could lose to him on every show the rest of this year and still be well ahead. No, this isn’t about legacy. This, Grace, is personal. I’m going to spoil this little facade Cage has around one last run. Not because I have to, but because I want to. And if you knew me… you’d know that’s pretty damn scary.
(The camera zooms in close to TCE’s face. He’s cold. He’s stoic. He’s motivated. The scene eventually fades to black.)
==================
House of Salvaje vs. Wicked
==================
Lobo: And just LOOK what we have coming up next. This one promises to be explosive.
V: Then like, just quit talking and let’s get to the action.
Sir Oliver: There shall be no prevarication as Mr Anderson is, I see, quite ready to begin.
*Anderson: Coming to the ring....the baddest and bestest of friends....UPW's fierce and ferocious...Maddox and Candy but also known as the "Haus of Salvaje''...
("Runway" by Duke Dumont blares throughout the arena. The arena goes completely pitch black and white lights start to flicker. Two giant lights peek out from the top of the ramp and two silhouettes stand in front of the lights. The fans start screaming throughout the arena. Spotlights hit the two figures and the lights go up in the arena. Maddox and Candy look at each other and smile. They are both dressed in destroyed denim shorts: Maddox in mid thigh length and Candy with booty shorts and both with a dark purple crop top and black combat boots. They strut down the runway in tandem. Once they get to the bottom, they both slide into the ring, stand in the center of the ring and take in the fans.)
*Anderson: And their opponents…. UP Wrestling proudly presents - Vicious and Vile! The team that can only be - WICKED!!!
(The lights drop. The heavy pulsating beat of "Hearse of the Pharaohs" by Witchery thunders out from the PA system. Slowly the lights gradually brighten to reveal a fog shrouded ramp, onto which step Wicked. A giant, dark haired brute of a man stands next to a beautiful, but hard featured woman. Both are clad entirely in black. That black is only broken by matching blood red inverted pentacles on their vests. The crowds BOOS loudly, but the pair merely scowl at them as they arrogantly make their way to the ring.)
Sir Oliver: Well, there’s certainly no love lost between these two teams and we all know hat Wicked do NOT play nicely with others.
Lobo: But The Haus of Salvaje has promised to match and even EXCEED Wicked for brutality.
V: Yeah, well I like totally hope that Wicked tears them apart. Like, did you hear what those two pretentious fucking NOBODIES had to say about ME!? #JealousMuch?
Lobo: Edwards is in the middle now and is calling th’ – NO!!
Sir Oliver: By George! Wicked just launched a furious attack at their opponents. This is SUPPOSED to be a tag team, not a bally Free-for-all! It’s just not cricket, Old Boy.
Lobo: Vicious blasts Maddox with a monstrous double handed smash that almost pitches him out of the ring!
V: Yeah, and like Vile totally slapped that pompous bitch in the mouth. That’ll teach her to watch what the fuck she says.
Sir Oliver: Well, this is completely unacceptable. And I’m pleased to note that Mr Edwards, our esteemed official, thinks so too. He’s ordering Wicked back to their corner so that we can start this match properly.
Lobo: And is getting precisely ZERO co-operation.
V: Like, sucks to be him, right?
Lobo: Maddox and Candy are fighting back though. Sure, they were caught by surprise and are STILL taking a beating, but they are NO WAY rolling over.
Sir Oliver: Nor are they vacating the ring.
Lobo: Yeah, they are hanging in and fighting their way back into this.
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: The bell has been rung – by CJ WALKER! He nods to the back.
Sir Oliver: Yes, one can only assume that he is following Madame Wu’s wishes. She evidently desires to see this battle play out.
Lobo: Well, Edwards doesn’t like it. He’s issuing Wicked with a warning! That’s their First Strike!
V: No, that’s HIS first strike!
Sir Oliver: Outrageous! That brute just PUNCHED Mr Edwards in the face!
V: Wow! Like, did you see how far he sailed back? Awesome!
Lobo: But it presented an opening to Maddox. He takes it!
Sir Oliver: Indeed he does, Old Bean. That was a simply splendid Reverse Russian Sweep. It upends the giant and Mr Maddox drops to plant a knee in that barrel-like chest. Top hole, I say!
Lobo: And the action continues over in the corner. Vile has Candy backed into it. She’s firing in knee after knee as she rags Candy by the hair!
V: Way to go! #NoMercy!
Lobo: Again and again Vile blasts Candy with those knee lifts. Candy does her best to cover up and weather that storm.
Sir Oliver: And quite the savage storm it is too, Old Chap.
Lobo: Vicious clobbers Maddox with a massive Bellringer! That evicts Maddox.
V: Yeah, like with style.
Lobo: But Candy chops down, breaking Vile’s grip and then shouts her splayed fingers up – Eye rake!
Sir Oliver: Most efficacious.
Lobo: Vile staggers back and wheels around to cover her face. Candy races out, jags left to bounce up and out from the ropes – Leaping lariat!
Sir Oliver: My word! That buried Miss Vile almost THROUGH the mat! A commendably robust response from Miss Candy, I must say.
Lobo: Now Vicious gets up. He grabs a stunned Maddox and lifts!
V: Wow! Like, just wow.
Sir Oliver: A one handed chokeslam! Maddox is PLANTED into the deck with considerable vim and vigour.
Lobo: But Candy has Vile pinned! This could be all over! Vile’s shoulders are stuck to the mat and -
V: Like, that old ref dude is totally out of it.
Sir Oliver: It’s a disgrace! A disgrace, I say.
Lobo: Yeah, I don’t think that Candy is too impressed either. She looks up to see Edwards slowly gathering his wits again and pulling himself up by the ropes. Even that quick look though – it’s enough of a distraction for Vile to twist and slam an elbow into the side of Candy’s head!
Sir Oliver: Miss Candy rolls most adroitly with the blow, but must perforce release Miss Vile from her confinement.
Lobo: Vicious isn’t interested in pinning Maddox. He hauls him up again and fires him backwards into the turnbuckle. Maddox lands hard, but manages to grab the top ropes. Vicious barrels forward – straight into TWO raised boots!
Sir Oliver: He executed that move with considerable aplomb.
V: Meh. He got lucky.
Lobo: Vile rolls to her feet and then charges to spear Candy to the mat. She throws a barrage of punches!
Sir Oliver: And Miss Candy responds in kind.
Lobo: Those two are really knocking lumps out of each other!
V: There’s gonna be like, a shitload of blood soon. You can like, totally bet on it.
Lobo: Vicious did NOT fall. That massive kick from Maddox rocked him back, but he stays upright. But, here comes Maddox. He charges and – Missile Drop Kick!
Sir Oliver: By Jove! That put the behemoth down and in most emphatic fashion, Old Bean.
Lobo: And Edwards is back up. He’s up and he’s furious.
Sir Oliver: Quite understandable under the circumstances.
Lobo: He’s calling for the bell. He’s disqualifying Wicked and giving the win to House of Salvaje!
**D’-**
Lobo: What the?
V: Like awesome!
Sir Oliver: Mr CJ Walker just placed one hand on the bell and the other on the time keeper’s wrist. There’ll be no bell ringing now, Old Boy!
Lobo: Again, this HAS to be at Madame Wu’s instruction. This is degrading into an unsanctioned brawl and I can see Anderson ringside. He looks worried – seriously worried. Edwards looks to him now – looks for guidance and help.
V: Never mind the boring, old dudes. Let’s focus on the action! Oh, and I gotta say, my Mom is just like, you know – The Best!
Lobo: Maddox is quickly up. But Vicious gets back to his feet almost as quickly.
Sir Oliver: Not quickly enough as Mr Maddox takes him down once more; this time with a delightful Swinging neckbreaker.
Lobo: Yeah and now he’s trying to wrap him up in an Indian Deathlock!
Sir Oliver: A message not just for Mr Vicious, but perchance for Mr Blackheart also.
Lobo: Vile headbutts Candy and then steps back.
V: Awesome! Look, both bitches are bleeding. This is like WAY fucking better than I expected.
Lobo: And look! Vicious is using that incredible strength of his to just PULL himself free of Maddox’s grasp!
Sir Oliver: By George! That takes some serious muscle to do that.
Lobo: He’s pulling free, but Maddox is fighting to hold on.
V: Yeah, like good luck with that. Doesn’t he know? Vicious is like totally THE strongest guy in UPW.
Lobo: Candy with a whipped hook kick. It catches Vile to the side of the head and sends her spinning around.
Sir Oliver: And Mr Vicious breaks free!
Lobo: Maddox jumps clear and then deftly spins around to blast Vile with a running Clothesline!
Sir Oliver: Indeed. What splendid teamwork.
V: Like he just couldn’t handle Vic, so totally picked on Vile AFTER she’d been clobbered.
Lobo: Candy darts between Vile and Maddox and Baseball Slides to trip Vicious. Vile swings! A wild haymaker.
Sir Oliver: That Maddox ducks!
Lobo: Candy jumps across the back of Vicious and applies a chin lock. She’s heaving back.
V: Like, there are fucking bulls with thinner necks than Vicious. She’s got no chance.
Lobo: Vicious is straightening again. He’s using that massive musculature to straighten and WHOA! He STANDS! - Reaches back and pulls Candy over!
Sir Oliver: Well, I never!
V: That bitch is like, totally toast now.
Lobo: Vicious pulls a stunned but sill wriggling Candy up OFF her feet. This could be – HDP! HDP!! Maddox just finished Vile! Wow! That was incredible. She’s down.
Edwards: ONE!
V: Uh-oh. Vicious has seen that shit.
Edwards: TWO!!
Lobo: My god! He just launched Candy OVER the ropes.
Sir Oliver: And he wasn’t even close to them!
V: Here he comes!
Edwards: THREE!!!
(BELL RINGS)
Sir Oliver: Mr CJ was evidently content to permit the ringing of the bell then.
V: Yeah, coz like my Mom just gave everyone a fucking awesome match.
Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, your WINNERS – House of Salvaje!
Lobo: Popular winners it has to be said.
Sir Oliver: Indeed, but it was a close thing. I just hope that Miss Candy wasn’t terribly injured from that seismic fall.
V: Like, who gives a shit? They got lucky, is all
Sir Oliver: Luck had nothing to do with it. That was a hard fought victory and yes, whilst close, the victory was deserved.
V: And like, since when did your opinion count for shit?
Lobo: Let’s just agree that it was a great and very unexpected fight.
Sir Oliver: I only hope that next bout has far more adherence to the rule of law, Old Chap.
===================
Jack Ruby vs. Riley The Jackal
===================
Sir Oliver: Fans, this next match is definitely going to be one of two competitors who are definitely in the mix to gain a victory at any moment. Jack Ruby and Riley the Jackal will be going one-on-one quite shortly.
Lobo: Yeah, these two could probably wrestle AND brawl circles around a lot of the roster.
V: Like, enough talk let’s go to the ring.
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first… Standing at six feet eight inches tall and weighing in at two hundred and seventy-five pounds... he is RILEY THE JACKAL!!!
("Wolves of Winter" By Biffy Clyro begins to play. Once the main riff hits Riley walks out of the curtain. Slowly he walks down the aisle soaking up the crowd as he looks around the arena. Walking down the ramp he stops and raises a fist. Once in the ring he leans on the ropes and throws another first in the air.)
*Anderson: And his opponent… Coming down to the ring at six foot five inches tall and weighing two hundred and thirty pounds... from right here in Las Vegas... he is SMILIN' JACK RUBY!!!
("Family Tradition" by Hank Williams Jr. plays as Smilin' Jack comes out from the curtains. Jack is wearing a leather riding coat, a ragged cowboy hat and scuffed cowboy boots. He has on a white singlet to wrestle. Jack carries a pool cue across his shoulders, occasionally taking it in one hand and spinning it like a baton. Jack will take off his hat and riding coat, hand them to the ring attendant, and then climb into the ring. Jack puts his pool cue down in his corner on the apron.)
Lobo: You know who I see in the audience, Oli?
Sir Oliver: Who’s that, Old Chap?
Lobo: Looks like Moe’s in attendance. Might be here to see Jack, or maybe not, but Moe’s got a front row seat.
(BELL RINGS)
Sir Oliver: Both men are ready to go and are measuring each other up. Riley has the height and weight advantage, but Ruby the experience.
Lobo: Both men lock up and Riley throws on a standing side headlock and is wrenching on the temple of Ruby. Ruby tries to throw him off but Riley keeps hold, and shakes his head. Ruby with a quick shot to the kidneys and then whips Riley into the ropes and both men collide in the ring with shoulder blocks.
V: Like, neither one budged though.
Sir Oliver: Ruby might have rolled on his back heel a little, but they immediately lock up again. Ruby goes with a headlock this time, Riley reverses it into a standing hammerlock, and both men are in a bit of a test of strength.
Lobo: Ruby with a knee to the stomach and whips Riley into the ropes, taking him down with a clothesline. Riley begins getting to his feet and Ruby runs the ropes, hitting him with another clothesline. Riley again gets to his feet, Ruby runs the ropes a third time, Riley ducks the clothesline and hooks Ruby, hitting a big sidewalk slam! Hooks the leg, one… but Ruby shoots the shoulder up.
(Riley brings Jack up with him and hooks him for a suplex, driving some knees into the stomach before snapping him over and crashing to the mat. Riley doesn’t go for a cover though, instead dropping an elbow and then a knee. Riley brings Jack up to his feet once again, lifting him onto his shoulder and snapping him down with a powerslam. Riley hooks the leg getting a two before Jack kicks out. Riley gets to his feet, measuring Jack to get to his feet, and when Jack does Riley attempts a discus clothesline, but is snatched up by Ruby with a belly-to-back suplex.)
V: Like, a quick reversal by Ruby.
Sir Oliver: That it was, but Riley doesn’t seem as stunned by the move as he’s already getting to his feet. Riley with a boot to Ruby, which knocks him into the ropes and out to the apron.
Lobo: Ruby landed on the apron and pulled himself up, as Riley grabs him Ruby snaps him throat-first across the top rope, and Riley goes down. Ruby now drags Riley to the outside and then whips him right into the ring steps. Ruby pulling out the stops here tonight.
(Riley gets up from hitting the steps and Ruby delivers a back elbow that staggers him against the steps and ringpost. Ruby takes a few steps back and charges Riley, only to get back body dropped over the steps and to the arena floor. Ruby lands hard and Riley checks his jaw from the elbow strike. He climbs over the steps and grabs Ruby, rolling him into the ring before climbing back up on the apron. Riley climbs through the ropes but is immediately DDT’d by Ruby, who rolls him over for a cover, getting a two.)
Lobo: Ruby with a quick move to try and get the cover, but Riley still showing a lot of fight left. Ruby brings Riley up and whips him hard into the turnbuckle, following up with a charging knee right into the bread basket.
Sir Oliver: Riley seemed rocked by that one, and Ruby climbs to the middle rope and begins drilling right fists right into the top of Riley’s head.
V: Like, and now Las Vegas has to do the obligatory counting along.
(After eight shots to the head, Ruby jumps down and hooks Riley, looking for the “8-Ball”, but Riley throws him off and into the center of the ring. Ruby lands hard and Riley charges out at him, and both men hit clotheslines that take each other down. Edwards begins the double count, but Riley and Ruby are up to their knees at four, and immediately start throwing punches on each other. Riley gets the upper hand after a few hard rights, getting to his feet and hooking Ruby, slamming him to the mat with a pumphandle suplex.)
Sir Oliver: A huge pumphandle suplex from Riley and he hooks Ruby’s leg, one… two… no! Ruby gets the shoulder up.
Lobo: Ruby was able to get out of there, and now Ruby hooks him, and powerbombs him! Sitout powerbomb and he’s got the cover again, one… two… but Ruby is able to kick out again!
V: Like, I’m pretty sure Ruby should’ve just laid down for that one.
Sir Oliver: Doubtful. Ruby is definitely one who fights to the last.
V: Like, that’s how he lost his hand though.
Lobo: Riley brings Ruby up and hits a headbutt, and then lifts him onto his shoulders and he’s looking for something like a Samoan drop or Death Valley Driver. Riley has him up but Ruby immediately begins throwing elbows to the forehead, and after a good four or five, Riley drops him and Ruby hits a beautiful haymaker with the prosthetic hand!
Sir Oliver: Riley is rocked!
V: I still think that’s a foreign object.
(Ruby slides down Riley’s back and then spins him around, locking on the Iron Claw. Riley is immediately in trouble, trying to fight off the hold, but Ruby lifts him into the air, slamming him to the mat with a clawhold slam. He keeps the claw hold on and Edwards drops down.)
Lobo: Ruby has the hold locked in and the slam definitely took a little bit out of Riley’s sails. Shoulders down, one… two… three! Ruby got him!
(BELL RINGS)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match… JACK RUBY!
(Jack Ruby gets his arm raised, and he wipes some sweat off his brow as he looks down at the defeated Riley. Riley is rolling over to his side and Jack seems to give a quick nod to him before stepping to the ropes and out of the ring.)
Lobo: Big win by Ruby.
Sir Oliver: Jack Ruby certainly gets momentum on his side, Old Chap.
==========================
Ron Masterson & Cage vs. Public Nuisance
==========================
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, our following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall… coming to the ring first weighing in at 210 pounds and coming in from Mesa, Arizona... this... is... CAGE!
("Thunderstruck" by AC/DC hits, the crowd beginning to chant "Thunder" along with the song. After a few moments, the form of Cage emerges from a spot in the crowd, high-fiving fans as he makes his way to the ring. He jumps over the guard rail and climbs up onto the ring apron, then up to the second turnbuckle. He taps his upper left shoulder and points skyward, before pointing out to the crowd and claps. He hopes down and begins doing some stretches on the ropes.)
*Anderson: And his partner for this match… hailing from Phoenix, Arizona, standing at six feet one inch tall, and weighing in at two hundred and fifty-one pounds... he is the Thunder Kid... RON MASTERSON!!!
("Higher Place" by Journey plays as Ron walks through the curtain. Dressed in his ring gear and a dark brown leather vest, Ron slaps hands with the fans, all smiles, while Donnie D. Falco follows close behind, doing the same. Ron walks up the steps and onto the apron, where he wipes his feet and nods to the fans before stepping between the ropes. Falco makes his way to a corner while Ron removes his ring jacket and hands it to him.)
Lobo: “An intriguing combination is Cage and Masterson working together tonight as they go up against Public Nuisance and I believe this will be the first time in a while that Murphy and DeHaven will be a team again in the ring.”
Sir Oliver: “With the former UPW Tag team champions on one side and Cage bringing his nearly 20 years of experience on the other this looks to be quite the donnybrook if I do say so myself.”
V: “It would be better if you said nothing at all, old gas bag. Jeez did you say TWENTY YEARS? That makes Cage almost as old as you.”
*Anderson: And their opponents escorted to the ring with their manager, Cliff Ragsdale, I give you the team of... "THE MANIAC" MARK MURPHY AND UPW SIN CITY CHAMPION "THE DUKE" DILLAN DEHAVEN!!! Together they are PUBLIC NUISANCE!!!
("Fire Water Burn" by The Bloodhound Gang plays as Murphy and DeHaven slowly walk to the ring, being led by their manager, Cliff Ragsdale. Murphy laughs and jokes around, sometimes pointing out different fans and making fun of them. DeHaven is a bit more subdued and Ragsdale shows no emotion as he carries the Sin City Title belt to the ring. Both Murphy and DeHaven are dressed in their ring attire. Ragsdale is wearing a blue cape and black jeans. Murphy is wearing a blue singlet and DeHaven is wearing a gray t-shirt with black tights.)
Bishop: “Ragsdale looks quite focused as the Sin City Champion and his partner are in the ring. One has to wonder if Murphy has finally returned to the good graces of the group after several weeks of punishment for how he was handling situations that were beyond his control at home.”
V: “If he worried about how he wrestles as much as he worries about his wife leaving him, Murphy would be challenging Devy for the World title. He wouldn’t have a chance of winning, but he would be a challenger.”
Sir Oliver: “It looks as if Master Ragsdale has some last minute instructions for Mr. Murphy as our Sin City Champion holds up his belt for all to see.”
V: “He better enjoy it while he can because after he has his match with Rain Blackheart, the closest he’ll be to that belt will be looking at it on Rain’s shoulder from a distance.”
Sir Oliver: “You seem to have become a fan of Mr. Blackheart.”
V: “Devy says he’s one of the best and if Devy says it you know it’s true.”
Lobo: “As we turn our attention to the ring it looks like the match is set to begin as Mark Murphy and Cage are ready to start. Edwards calls for the bell and here we go.”
Sir Oliver: “Mr. Cage extends the hand to wish his opponent good luck but Mr. Murphy slaps it away and points to Masterson demanding that he start instead of Cage.”
Lobo: “Cage turns to tag Ron in and Murphy jumps him while his back is turned! Slingshot into the ropes sends Cage into a power slam. Murphy tags in DeHaven who looks ready to take Cage apart.”
(DeHaven grabs Cage by the hair, pulls him up and hits a lariat. He goes to pick Cage up again but this time is met with open palm strikes to the head. Cage gets to his feet and tosses DeHaven with a belly to belly suplex.)
V: “For an old guy Cage moves pretty well. He must have taken his meds before the match.”
Lobo: “Cage is now stalking the Sin City Champ as he reaches over to tag in the Thunder Kid. Cage and Masterson throw DeHaven into the ropes and get the double back body drop. Cage goes into his corner as Masterson sets Dillan up for a double underhook suplex, but DeHaven blocks the attempt and flips Masterson over his back. Ragsdale is up on the ring apron yelling at Edwards for some reason as Murphy runs in and Public Nuisance sends Masterson down with a double vertical suplex. Murphy back in his corner as Edwards turns to see DeHaven make the tag. Cage is irate and yelling at Edwards, inadvertently causing another distraction that allows DeHaven to kick the groin of Masterson as he exits and Murphy comes in and delivers another kick before the referee can turn back around.”
V: “Another kick like that and the Thunder Kid may end up neutered.”
(Murphy slaps Masterson, who returns the favor by hitting a jaw breaker on Murphy. Masterson starts for his corner to tag in Cage but Murphy grabs his leg and pulls him back to the other side. Then Murphy starts dragging Masterson around in circles before dropping an elbow on the back of Masterson’s neck. Murphy then picks Ron up and starts slamming his head into the neutral corner turnbuckle. After 6 hits Masterson blocks a 7th and nails Murphy with a back elbow to the face. Before he can follow up Murphy instinctively locks in and hits a belly to back suplex)
Sir Oliver: “I can’t help but notice how pleased Mr. Ragsdale seems to be with Mr. Murphy’s performance so far. It seems as if the stars might be aligning for him.”
Lobo: “Murphy follows with a sleeper on Masterson, Cage is yelling at Edwards that he has a choke on his partner. The referee confronts Cage again and Murphy with a blatant choke and back into a sleeper when Edwards returns his attention to the match.”
V: “Cliffy seems giddy, like a schoolgirl getting her first 100 followers on Insta giddy.”
Sir Oliver: “What is an Insta and why would you want to be followed?”
V: “Insta is on that magic square we call a cell phone. You know the thing that makes calls without a cord and has more memory that you do right now.”
Sir Oliver: “Now see here…!”
Lobo: “Will you two knock it off! If you can focus back on the match you’d see that Murphy has already hit more belly to back suplexes with roll thrus and just hit a third. Now Ragsdale and DeHaven are yelling for Murphy to make the tag and finish the match. Cage is getting the crowd to rally behind Masterson for a comeback.”
(Murphy looks over at his corner and tells Cliff and Dillan to ‘watch this’ and slings Ron into the ropes beside where Cage is standing.)
Lobo: “Cage with the blind tag goes to the top, Masterson ducks Murphy’s clothesline, rebounds and Ron Masterson takes down Mark Murphy and is followed by a top rope elbow from Cage! The crowd is fully behind him as Ragsdale and DeHaven are red faced yelling at their partner.”
Sir Oliver: “It seems Mr. Murphy’s attempt to showboat badly backfired.”
Lobo: “Cage pulls Murphy closer to his corner and hooks in his modified dragon sleeper! Edwards is checking to see if Murphy submits or not. DeHaven looks to attempt to make a save but Ragsdale grabs his leg and tells him not yet. Murphy looks to be hurting, he’s saying something but the crowd noise is making it hard for Edwards to hear him. The referee leans in and Murphy has…”
(All of the sudden, "Thoughtless" by Korn plays and out comes TCE. Cage releases the hold, drops Murphy, runs over and tags in Masterson then slides out of the ring towards TCE.)
Sir Oliver: “What’s all this then? What is going on here? I do believe Mr. Murphy was ready to submit.”
Lobo: “It looked like it but now it looks like we are going to see a whole new fight in the entrance way.”
(TCE's music stops and so does he in the middle of the aisle. Cage continues to approach him, but stops dead in his tracks when the music "Breathe" by Prodigy hits. No one seems to know what's going on, but Cage.)
V: “Uh oh, either Cage knows what’s going on or he forgot where he is. That happens a lot with old folks, doesn't it, Olive?”
(Before Sir Oliver can respond a man comes out wearing a black & silver mask that has an image of a fierce wolverine with blood dripping from the fangs plastered over the entire surface area. He is also wearing a black & silver Generation X T-shirt, a sterling silver chain, a pair of Attitude black denim jeans, and black suede Wolverine boots)
Lobo: “Cage looks like he has seen a ghost. And TCE is just standing there with a huge grin spread across his face.”
(In the ring, while Masterson is watching everything in the aisle, Murphy makes the tag to DeHaven. He uses this distraction to his advantage and hits The Chaser.)
Lobo: “DeHaven has Masterson down, makes the pin, Edwards with the count.”
Edwards: “ONE!”
(Cage turns and sees his partner being pinned in the ring)
Edwards: “TWO!”
(Cage starts back to the ring but can't stop looking back even as TCE and this mystery man disappear.)
Edwards: “THREE!”
(Edwards calls for the bell and lifts DeHaven’s arm in victory)
Anderson: “The winners of the match via pinfall… “Maniac” Mark Murphy and the UPW Sin City Champion Dillan DeHaven… Public Nuisance!”
Lobo: “And DeHaven with the victory as once again we are in a situation where we have more questions than answers.”
Sir Oliver: “Yes, exactly what is TCE’s agenda against Cage and who was that mystery man who looked to have Cage’s preverbal number. Rarely have I seen such fright on a wrestler’s face.”
V: “Maybe it was the Grim Reaper, come to take Cage back to the old folk’s home he wandered away from.”
(Back in the ring Edwards hands DeHaven the Sin City title belt and goes to raise his and Murphy’s arms in victory but Ragsdale slaps Murphy’s out of Edwards hand and begins to berate him as DeHaven stands victorious)
Lobo: “And as DeHaven takes in another win, it also looks as if Murphy is back in the Ragsdale doghouse. So much going on but we will have to wait and see how it all pans out as we move on to the next match.”
==============
Pixilious vs. Nathaniel
==============
Lobo: Up next we have a match with some tremendous ramifications.
Sir Oliver: Yes, the winner of this match will be in the Openweight Championship match at Hostile Fury.
V: Like, Baptist, I never thought I’d hear that word come out of your mouth. I mean, like, I could expect a word like ramifications coming from this old pompous geezer, but you? I’m shocked.
Lobo: Hey, now. I know things.
V: Like, I never said you didn’t. I just didn’t think you would use 50 cent words is all.
Sir Oliver: Enough of the contentious banter. Let’s go to the ring, shall we?
V: See?
(Cut to the ring)
*Anderson: This match is a singles competition. It is set for one fall and has a 30 minute time limit. Introducing first…
(Cliff Ragsdale is standing in the ring and rudely snatches the mic from Elijah Anderson.)
*Ragsdale: Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and give a warm welcome to the most dangerous man in UPW! He resides in Reno, Nevada....he is 6 foot 4, weighs in at 245 pounds, he is being accompanied to the ring by his beautiful girlfriend, Brittany! He is the man known as NATHANIEL!
("Come As You Are" by Nirvana plays as Nathaniel and his girlfriend Brittany emerge from the back. They stop and Nathaniel glares at the crowd as a spotlight shines on him. Nathaniel receives a hostile reception from the crowd as he and Brittany make their way to the ring. Nathaniel is stone-faced and Brittany has a big grin on her face. Brittany holds the ropes open as Nathaniel enters the ring. Brittany claps as Nathaniel fist bumps Ragsdale before mean mugging the crowd. Nathaniel then removes his grunge-style flannel shirt and hands it to Brittany as the crowd continues to boo.)
Lobo: The crowd really hates him.
Sir Oliver: It could be the fact that he’s a blackguard.
V: Or, it could be that he’s, like, from RENO?
Lobo: What do you have against Reno?
V: Have you ever been there?
Lobo: A few times.
V: And you still have to ask? I mean…Reno…Ewww!
*Anderson: And his opponent… Ladies and Gentlemen - at only 5'4" and weighing in at just 115 pounds - all the way from the Land of the Fairies! The incredible.....PIXILICIOUS!
(Tomdandy's "Rooftop" hits and a glittering curtain of pink confetti falls above the ramp. Stepping through it comes Pixilicious. Clad all in pink, her daring and revealing costume compels the camera and all present to star. Pixi throws her arms wide, scattering glittering pink dust to left and right before skipping and bouncing her way to the ring, slapping hands with the fans as she does.
In the centre of the ring she folds over, her long green hair falling to the mat. She stamps her foot three times and claps in unison, before exploding upwards, both arms high and wide, yelling PIXIE POWER! Smiling confidently, she then takes her corner.)
Lobo: So, this is going to be a clash of styles here with Pixi being the acrobat and Pixi Warrior, and Nathaniel…
V: …a hard hitter who only has to connect to send Pixi back to never-never land, where she belongs.
(BELL RINGS)
(Referee Edwards calls for the bell and the match is underway. Nathaniel moves to the center of the ring while Pixi dances her way to the center. Nathaniel reaches down to grab Pixi, but Pixi swiftly ducks out of the way, slides behind Nathaniel and leaps up. Pixi puts her hands on his shoulders and puts her feet into the small of his back. Pixi falls backward and tips Nathaniel off balance. Pixi sends Nathaniel flying with a reverse monkey flip.
Nathaniel springs back to his feet and charges at Pixi. Pixi dodges him and hits him in the thigh with a nerve strike. Nathaniel limps over to the corner and Brittany starts massaging his thigh for him. Nathaniel moves out of the corner and scowls at Pixi. Pixi merely smiles back at him. Nathaniel moves slowly to Pixi when Pixi suddenly rushes forward, surprising Nathaniel. Pixi grabs Nathaniel in a Pixinator and goes for the cover.)
Edwards: 1…toss off.
Lobo: Wow! Pixi struck quickly as a cobra.
Sir Oliver: I think that Nathaniel is going to have to rethink his strategy. He’s not going to just bulldoze Pixi over.
(Nathaniel is back on his feet. Ragsdale calls him over to the corner and whispers some instructions in his ear. Nathaniel nods his head in understanding, then moves slowly out as Pixi charges in, unwilling to wait for him. Nathaniel grabs Pixi by the waist as she leaps toward him and tosses her out of the ring. Pixi lands on her feet outside and climbs back into the ring.
Nathaniel quickly grabs Pixi’s hand and yanks her in toward him, then sends her to the mat with a short clothesline. Nathaniel with a flying body press and hooks the leg.)
Edwards: 1…shoulder up.
Lobo: It looks like Nathaniel may have found the secret to Pixi.
Sir Oliver: Pixi is a clever young woman and I’m sure she has more tricks up her sleeve.
(Both wrestlers are on their feet. Nathaniel starts to move in on Pixi who inexplicably stands her ground. Nathaniel continues his progression and suddenly, with a flick of her hand, Pixi strikes with a palm strike that catches Nathaniel square in the middle of his face. Pixi follows it up with a scissors chop to the throat that has Nathaniel gasping.
Pixi with a flying head scissors that takes Nathaniel down to the mat. Pixi rolls over and puts Nathaniel in a sitting arm bar. Pixi has her foot firmly in Nathaniel’s armpit and she’s leaning back, putting tremendous pressure on the elbow and shoulder.
Cliff Ragsdale reaches in and grabs Nathaniel’s foot, putting it on the ropes and then yelling at Edwards to look. Edwards calls for the break and Pixi releases the arm, then back rolls out of reach of Nathaniel. Nathaniel is back on his feet and moves back to a corner while Pixi dances just out of his reach.
Nathaniel suddenly lurches out of the corner and catches Pixi by the throat. Nathaniel slams Pixi hard to the mat. Nathaniel with the cover.)
Edwards: 1…foot on the ropes.
(Ragsdale grabs Pixi’s foot and tosses it off the ropes but Edwards has already seen it and calls for the break. Nathaniel finally grants the break and stands up.)
Lobo: It may not look like much, but the longer Nathaniel stayed on Pixi, the harder it was for her to breathe and it may slow her down.
V: That’s why I prefer to be on top.
Sir Oliver: Are you certain that’s the only reason?
V: SIR OLIVER!
(Nathaniel starts to move on Pixi once again. Pixi responds with a handspring kick to the head that sends Nathaniel reeling. Nathaniel crashes into the corner and Pixi is up quickly, leaping to the second ropes and starts laying on hard chops to Nathaniel’s chest.
Nathaniel pushes Pixi off with both hands, sending her backwards. Nathaniel goes to the second rope and comes off with a flying forearm. Pixi moves out of the way and Nathaniel manages to roll out of the maneuver. As he’s coming back up on his feet, Pixi nails Nathaniel with a rabbit punch. Nathaniel goes to one knee and Pixi sets him up for a reverse DDT. Pixi nails it and goes for the cover.)
Edwards: 1…2…thr…toss off.
(Pixi springs back to her feet and dances away. Nathaniel slowly gets back to his feet and tries to clear his head. Pixi charges him again but Nathaniel was playing possum and spears Pixi. Nathaniel goes for the quick cover.)
Edwards: 1…shoulder up.
(Nathaniel is back on his feet once again. Brittany is on the apron, hurling insults at Pixi. Pixi is ignoring her as she is totally concentrating on Nathaniel. Nathaniel grabs Pixi and whips her into the ropes where Brittany is standing. Brittany grabs Pixi to keep her there and continues her diatribe.
Pixi manages to spin around and gives Brittany a headbutt to the face that causes her to drop to the floor.
While Pixi was distracted, Nathaniel comes up behind her, grabs her and sets her up for The Last Stand. He nails it and goes for the cover.)
Edwards: 1…2…3!
(BELL RINGS)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, in the time of 23:22, your winner and advancing to the Openweight Championship match at Open Fury…NATHANIEL!
Lobo: Nathaniel managed to pull this one out.
Sir Oliver: With just a modicum of help from Ragsdale and Brittany.
V: Hey, that’s what a good manager will do.
Lobo: Regardless, Nathaniel will be participating in the Openweight Championship at Hostile Fury and nobody can take that away from him.
=========================
The Black Hand vs. Ariana Sears & THC
*Special Guest Referee: Jester LeBeau
=========================
Lobo: Here we go UP Wrestling fans with tonight's main event!
Sir Oliver: Yes, indeed. It is sure to be quite a heated affair, and that is not a play on words, given THC's proclivity to start fires.
V: Like, I don't know what they were trying to prove. Devy will just use the insurance money to buy a nicer party bus. He's like, stupid rich.
Lobo: The Openweight Champion certainly is rich, but I think THC was trying to send a message to The Black Hand.
V: Yeah, and that message is "we want our asses kicked."
Sir Oliver: Perhaps, but Miss Annie is an incredibly durable competitor, while Carson is a massive brute of a man.
V: Yeah, like, I'll admit he's huge, but he's got nothing going on upstairs. He's like, friends with Pixilicious after all.
Lobo: If we could get back to the matter at hand...We honestly have no idea what to say except here as we await the two teams. Kid Diaz is locked in a contract battle with his manager, Old Bitch Collet, and Jester LeBeau has not been medically cleared to compete.
*Anderson: Coming to the ring at a combined weight of 658 pounds…"The Professional" Rain Blackheart, "The Relentless One" Adam Miller, and reigning, Undisputed UPW Openweight Champion, "The Apex" Devin Bishop! They are...The Black Hand!!!
A light drum roll begins...
(Voice over begins to speak....)
This is their destiny…
This is their place...
This is their time...
They will CONQUER ALL!!!
("Dark Breed" By Robert Slump blares throughout the arena. The BLACKHAND skull symbol appears on the screen. The skull illuminates and flashes and slowly fades away but re illuminates bright black and white lights. All three stand side by side, backlit by a single spotlight, casting a silhouette into the arena of all three raising their gloved hands in the symbol of the Black Hand. The lights come up and all three walk to the ring as the music pounds over the speakers. Miller springs up to the apron and slingshots over the top rope. Blackheart and Bishop step into the ring and they all line up once more, raising the Black Hand symbol again.)
Sir Oliver: King Diaz conspicuous in his absence.
V: Don't worry about it. Devy totally has this under control.
(Welcome to My Nightmare by Alice Cooper begins to play over the sound system, and chants of "Jester!" begin to echo through the crowd.)
Lobo: That's Jester LeBeau's entrance music! He's not medically cleared to compete. What's going on here?
(Jester walks out onto the entrance way wearing a referee's shirt. He walks down the aisle, giving high fives to his Little Fucksticks.)
*Anderson: Introducing our special guest referee for tonight's main event...Jester LeBeau!
Sir Oliver: He hardly seems the type to keep order.
Lobo: No doubt. He's got some real beef with THC, and Ariana is his teammate.
V: This could get out of hand really quick. I can't wait!
*Anderson: And now coming to the ring.. from Detroit, Michigan... She stands at five foot five inches tall and weighs in at one hundred and eighteen pounds... she is one half of the UPW World Tag Team Champions... the Chaotic Princess.. ARIANA SEARS!!!
("Rock N Roll" by Avril Lavigne begins to play out of the speakers as the fans take to their feet seeing the glowing pink Christmas style lights draped over the curtain. Ariana steps out from the curtain. She is wearing a pair of black jeggings with a black. The top has Araina written right underneath the cleavage area, a short black leather jacket covers her arms a bit. Wearing a pair of black Nike shoes that sparkle like gems across the laces and logo. She twirls two times on the stage before moving down the walkway making sure to give a few fans high fives and a kiss blown as she winks. As she finishes she gets just outside the apron jumping up, turning her head back she throws her head around and holds one arm up her hand making the rock on sign. She drops down doing the splits ducking her head under the bottom rope. Rolling through to bring herself to her feet as she gets up nodding her head to the music, smiling taken in the adoration of the fans. After her music ends she drops down to the corner leaning against the bottom turnbuckle until the match is about to start.)
Lobo: Adam Miller is getting right up in Ariana's face, and Jester is not having any of it.
Sir Oliver: He has just shoved Miller back towards his corner, and all three of the members of the Black Hand team now circle around Jester and Sears.
("Two Middle Fingers" by State of Mine begins to blare over the loudspeakers and THC comes sprinting toward the ring and slides under the bottom rope.)
Lobo: THC looking to jump start this match. Carson Castle nearly takes the head off Adam Miller with a sling blade from behind. Annie gives Rain a low blow from behind and takes him over with a kneeling fireman's carry into a standing double stomp. Sears catches Bishop by surprise with a spinning back kick, then takes him down with a head scissors take down.
(Miller, Bishop, and Rain all roll out of the ring to regroup. Ariana immediately performs a suicide dive, taking the group to the floor. Annie goes to the top rope and waits. Rain makes it to his feet first and Annie prepares to launch herself, but is knocked off the turnbuckle as Jester leans across the top rope. Jester laughs and gives an exaggerated "Oops" as Annie hits the floor. Carson takes exception to his acts and grabs Jester by the shirt. Jester turns and uppercuts Carson in the jaw.)
V: The bell hasn't even rung yet and it's already awesome!
Sir Oliver: I fear the level of chaos will only elevate, as Jester seems none too keen to enforce the rules.
Lobo:Hey, is that...Moe in the front row? He seems to be cheering Annie Castle on as she rises to her feet.
(Bishop rolls into the ring and charges Carson, who catches Devin in a Samoan drop. Carson loads his boot and goes to punt Bishop in the face, but Bishop ducks and springs to his feet. Carson swings a clothesline at Bishop who ducks under and hits a release German suplex. Carson rolls to his feet and backs into the corner, but Bishop is on him like a shark. The two begin exchanging knife edge chops. Jester pushes the two apart and says to Bishop "This is how you do it." Jester then punches Carson square in the nose.)
Lobo: Jester taking liberties with Carson Castle, and Castle looks pissed. Jester points to his referee shirt and Castle backs away, only to be caught by a school boy by Bishop.
Jester: ONETWOTHRE…
Sir Oliver: I suppose the match is officially underway, despite the fact that the bell never rang. Jester seemed to execute the count with incredible alacrity.
Lobo: Carson just barely able to kick out in time.
Sir Oliver: Meanwhile there is quite a display of bedlam on the outside of the ring.
(Ariana hits a snapmare on Miller to the concrete floor and delivers a thunderous spinal tap kick to Miller's lower back. Annie hits a series of hooks, uppercuts, and body blows to Rain who is backed against the ring post, much to the delight of Moe, who cheers her from the front row. Ariana goes to pick up Miller but is surprised by a monkey flip, hitting the floor hard. Rain falls to one knee and pulls Annie forward, slamming her head into the ring post. Moe cringes at the impact. Rain pulls a steel chair from beneath the ring and slides it to Miller. Blackheart grabs his own chair and slams it across Annie's shoulders. Miller throws his chair at Ariana who catches it, but Miller kicks the chair into Ariana's face and she tumbles back to the floor.)
Lobo: This situation is getting worse by the second.
V: I know! Isn't it great?!?
Sir Oliver: I was not aware this contest was to be decided under street fight rules.
Lobo: What the….Jester just hit Annie with a baseball slide! He's the referee! He's not supposed to get involved like this.
(Rain slides his chair into the ring and then rolls Annie in as well. Carson is whipped into the turnbuckle by Bishop, but manages to hop to the second rope and rebound back with a Superman punch. Rain hits a Rolling Blackout on Annie into the steel chair and goes for the pin, but Jester is still outside of the ring. Carson goes to break the pin attempt and is taken down by Bishop with a drop toe hold. Outside the ring, Jester and Ariana double front suplex Miller across the guard rail.)
Lobo: I'm having trouble keeping up with the action...and apparently so is the referee considering Annie just small packaged Rain and there is no one to count the pin.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Anderson needs to restore order to this situation post haste.
V: No way, Ollie! This is amazing! You're more of a buzzkill than Buzz Killington!
(Bishop hooks Carson in a Boston crab, but the big man is able to power out easily, shooting Bishop over the top rope. Rain hits a dragon suplex on Annie who pops up almost immediately, telling Rain to "bring it on." Jester begins throwing steel chairs into the ring. Miller hits a quick DDT on Ariana and rolls her into the ring. Carson grabs Rain and hits a bulldog takedown, and Annie follows up with a split leg moonsault onto Rain with a chair. She goes for the cover again but once again, there is no Jester to count the fall.)
V: Everyone is grabbing chairs! This is gonna get good!
Lobo: All six are in the ring now and they are all holding chairs. It's like a Mexican standoff!
Sir Oliver: Why is Jester staying outside the ring? He is merely giggling like a fool at the situation he has created.
V: Which reminds me...kids don't forget to tune in to the premier episode of Jester's Cavalcade of Chaos and Carnage!
Lobo: You just made that up.
V: Yeah, but it totally sounds like a real thing, right?
(The lights dim and the crowd hushes to near silence. The screen fires up and….
appears with flashing black and white lights. A small lamb bag drum begins to be heard. The ramp lights hit the stage in a huge glowing spotlight! Fireworks shoot across the arena and the entrance way fills with smoke!)
Lobo: Here we go Old Chaps!
V: Oh hell yeah!
(The camera is zoomed in on the stage when it begins to blare and a silhouette of a man standing that appears to look like the outline of a figure that appears to have a crown and a robe!)
Lobo: The rumors are true!
V: He’s back!!!!!
A light drum roll begins...
(Voice over begins to speak....)
This is their destiny..
This is their place...
This is their time...
They will CONQUER ALL!!!
("Dark Breed" By Robert Slump blares throughout the arena. The BLACKHAND skull symbol appears on the screen. The skull illuminates and flashes and slowly fades away but re illuminates bright black and white lights.
The ramp is covered in dry ice as Diaz appears from the smoke he stands at the top of the ramp and raises hisblack gloved hand above his head. Diaz rushes toward the ring, losing the robe and crown as he runs. He slides under the bottom rope and the Black Hand assembles on one side of the ring. Jester rolls into the ring and grabs a chair and Diaz follows suit. There is a tense stare down between the two groups until Jester quickly turns and slams Carson in the face with his chair. Carson's nose erupts with blood and Annie jumps onto Jester's back, biting down on his neck. Rain pulls her off and swings but is caught by a lightning fast enzuigiri kick from Ariana. Diaz waist locks Ariana and tosses her back with a backdrop suplex. Bishop sweeps Carson's leg from beneath him and begins ramming his chair into Castle's ribs.)
Lobo: Rated M are back together and they are all over the tag champs!
V: Devy and Rain are handing THC a beat down.
Sir Oliver: King Diaz is indeed the difference maker. The Black Hand were outnumbered until he returned.
Lobo: That's true, but it's hard to tell who Jester was trying to help.
V: Looks like he needs help since Rated M just hit… TOTAL ELIMINATION on him!
(Jester and Ariana bail out of the ring, and Carson follows quickly. Annie is snatched by Moe who has to hold her back as she spits and claws the air, trying to get back into the fight. The Black Hand catches their breath and Diaz calls for the mic.)
Diaz: Just when ya think ya know all the answers we go and change the mother fucking questions! Ya didn’t think this was gonna go without Kid Diaz did ya?
(Crowd roars.)
Diaz: Hell nah! I’mmmmmm Baaaccckkkk!
(The crowd roars.)
Diaz: I’m gonna start by just saying to all the guys and girls out there trying to be professional wrestlers to make sure you read the small print! It’s easy to overlook things because you're caught up in the excitement and the blood pumping moment! It’s a goddamn whirlwind of emotions when you first start out getting your first big gig!
(Kid pauses.)
Diaz: (in a low husky voice) Read the small print!
(Kid slowly walks around in a circle pulling his hair back.)
Diaz:(in a low husky voice) I thought it didn’t matter! I never put much thought to it! I was focused on winning! I was focused on honing my craft in making myself stand taller than everyone else!
(Kid lowers his head briefly and then looks up.)
Diaz: But because of my small oversight my career in UPW was nearly cut short by an old, vile, disgusting, selfish, bitter old fool in one Old Bitch Robert Collet!
(Diaz pauses as the crowd boos at the sound of Old Bitches name.)
Diaz: Thankfully with the help of my brotherhood THE APEX! THE BLACKHAND and our personal weapon of mass destruction Alexandria Masters and her amazing work!
(Kid pauses and holds the mic to the side and claps with the crowd who are on their feet!)
Diaz: I'm staying here in UPW with the Black Hand for the same reason a girl from Alabama will never do reverse cowgirl...you never turn your back on family!
(Kid drops the microphone and climbs to the second rope and flexes as the show goes off the air.)
HOSTILE FURY
OCTOBER 2021
JAPAN
MAIN EVENT
WORLD OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
“The Apex” Devin Bishop vs. Nathaniel
SIN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP
*The D20 Choose a Flag Match
"The Duke" Dillian DeHaven vs. "The Professional" Rain Blackhart
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Disorganized Chaos vs. Rated M
BOYD GAMING HIGH ROLLER CHAMPIONSHIP
TBD