Better Living {{RHF 02}}
Sept 22, 2021 21:12:24 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Venom đź•·, and 1 more like this
Post by terras on Sept 22, 2021 21:12:24 GMT -5
The scene opens in a hospital room.
A patient in a full bodycast is propped up in a bed. This unfortunate looks like The Mummy, with the only things that poke out of the mass of gauze being his eyes, which slowly open.
His vision takes a second to focus. He has company. In the room are a middle-aged man wearing a lab coat, no doubt a doctor, and a wall of muscles who is second only to Hyperion in looking like a Greek God.
Doctor Huck: The damage is quite extensive.
Redmond Fury: This is all from that vicious Greg Adkins attack?
DH: I’ve never heard of a man being physically injured by Greg Adkins before, no, all this occurred in his match beforehand.*
*Editor’s Note: Wombat fought Fury for the Phoenix championship in an early MOTYC on the second episode of GUNS third season – Serious Stan
RF: Then it is my fault. I don’t mind admitting that Wombat took me to the limit, Doc, pushing me so hard that I unleashed moves I normally keep in check. Moves that would kill any normal man! Thank goodness he’s not a normal man, but a marsupial.
The guilt that the Buckeye Bruiser carries is immense and crushing. Fortunately Fury’s build like the Empire State Building, so he can carry all the emotional baggage without breaking a sweat.
RF: I’ll have to start him on a vigorous training program, so that he will be physically capable of challenging me in our rematch; not to mention his being able to walk again.
DH: When is this epic encounter going down?
RF: Two weeks.
DH: Oh. I could just pull the plug now?
The selective hearing that afflicts all large hearted baby faces prevents Fury from acknowledging the medical assessment of Wombat’s chances, besides this, RHF is too busy smiling that the XHF Legend is out of his coma.
RF: Welcome back to the land of the living, Wombat! After that brutal Adkins assault, I was worried your wrestling days were over.
Wombat: They are-
RF (selective hearing): But we all know the old adage, “Wombats Never Say Die!” Don’t worry pal, I’ll make sure that Greg pays for his cowardly attack. What am I saying? I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? That End of Days grudge match? That could just as easily be you! We have a rematch coming up, and you could simply take the Phoenix belt off me and defend against Greg yourself.
W: What’s the point? Even if I spend the rest of my life rehabbing this injury - why show up for a global event where everyone will just scratch their heads and go: “That’s not the real wombat.”
RF (shakes head): The real wombat? There is only ONE Wombat! Wally the Wombat – odds on favourite to be the first man into the XHF Hall of Fame the minute he retires. Oh that Canadian outfit might have their own Wombat, but they won’t be around forever. I’m sure you’ll be the only Wombat again in no time. Tell you what; if it makes you feel better, the announcers will add LA to the start of your name. That way everyone who was paying attention when you were first dubbed LA Wombat will know that you are the original, and the others are sad copies. It will only be confusing for people in the many decades to come who haven’t heard this conversation right now.
W: LA Wombat?
RF: YES! Because that is what the Phoenix division is all about. Rekindling fires! You ARE LA Wombat!
The XHF all star forces back some tears.
LA W: Thanks Mister Fury.
RF: My friends call me; Red – and you can thank me by taking me to the limit and making our second Phoenix title match even better than the first! To do that we’re going to train like you’ve never trained before!
LA W: I’LL DO IT!
Doctor Huck turns to the camera.
DH: I don’t give permission for my likeness to be seen anywhere near the planning of this assisted suicide.
Doctor Huck is replaced by a digital blur.
LA W: Only one thing, Red. I can’t feel my body.
RF: That’s understandable LA. That was a hard closeline I hit you with. Still one day at a time, start by wiggling your big toe.
LA W: Okay!
The digital blur shakes its head.
LA W: Am I doing it?
RF: No. But we’ve got time. We only have to be on a plane to England tomorrow...
A patient in a full bodycast is propped up in a bed. This unfortunate looks like The Mummy, with the only things that poke out of the mass of gauze being his eyes, which slowly open.
His vision takes a second to focus. He has company. In the room are a middle-aged man wearing a lab coat, no doubt a doctor, and a wall of muscles who is second only to Hyperion in looking like a Greek God.
Doctor Huck: The damage is quite extensive.
Redmond Fury: This is all from that vicious Greg Adkins attack?
DH: I’ve never heard of a man being physically injured by Greg Adkins before, no, all this occurred in his match beforehand.*
*Editor’s Note: Wombat fought Fury for the Phoenix championship in an early MOTYC on the second episode of GUNS third season – Serious Stan
RF: Then it is my fault. I don’t mind admitting that Wombat took me to the limit, Doc, pushing me so hard that I unleashed moves I normally keep in check. Moves that would kill any normal man! Thank goodness he’s not a normal man, but a marsupial.
The guilt that the Buckeye Bruiser carries is immense and crushing. Fortunately Fury’s build like the Empire State Building, so he can carry all the emotional baggage without breaking a sweat.
RF: I’ll have to start him on a vigorous training program, so that he will be physically capable of challenging me in our rematch; not to mention his being able to walk again.
DH: When is this epic encounter going down?
RF: Two weeks.
DH: Oh. I could just pull the plug now?
The selective hearing that afflicts all large hearted baby faces prevents Fury from acknowledging the medical assessment of Wombat’s chances, besides this, RHF is too busy smiling that the XHF Legend is out of his coma.
RF: Welcome back to the land of the living, Wombat! After that brutal Adkins assault, I was worried your wrestling days were over.
Wombat: They are-
RF (selective hearing): But we all know the old adage, “Wombats Never Say Die!” Don’t worry pal, I’ll make sure that Greg pays for his cowardly attack. What am I saying? I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? That End of Days grudge match? That could just as easily be you! We have a rematch coming up, and you could simply take the Phoenix belt off me and defend against Greg yourself.
W: What’s the point? Even if I spend the rest of my life rehabbing this injury - why show up for a global event where everyone will just scratch their heads and go: “That’s not the real wombat.”
RF (shakes head): The real wombat? There is only ONE Wombat! Wally the Wombat – odds on favourite to be the first man into the XHF Hall of Fame the minute he retires. Oh that Canadian outfit might have their own Wombat, but they won’t be around forever. I’m sure you’ll be the only Wombat again in no time. Tell you what; if it makes you feel better, the announcers will add LA to the start of your name. That way everyone who was paying attention when you were first dubbed LA Wombat will know that you are the original, and the others are sad copies. It will only be confusing for people in the many decades to come who haven’t heard this conversation right now.
W: LA Wombat?
RF: YES! Because that is what the Phoenix division is all about. Rekindling fires! You ARE LA Wombat!
The XHF all star forces back some tears.
LA W: Thanks Mister Fury.
RF: My friends call me; Red – and you can thank me by taking me to the limit and making our second Phoenix title match even better than the first! To do that we’re going to train like you’ve never trained before!
LA W: I’LL DO IT!
Doctor Huck turns to the camera.
DH: I don’t give permission for my likeness to be seen anywhere near the planning of this assisted suicide.
Doctor Huck is replaced by a digital blur.
LA W: Only one thing, Red. I can’t feel my body.
RF: That’s understandable LA. That was a hard closeline I hit you with. Still one day at a time, start by wiggling your big toe.
LA W: Okay!
The digital blur shakes its head.
LA W: Am I doing it?
RF: No. But we’ve got time. We only have to be on a plane to England tomorrow...
~ ~ ~ To be continues at Cruiserfest ~ ~ ~