Post by rich121 on Sept 23, 2021 10:08:53 GMT -5
Jester LeBeau is at a Las Vegas post office attempting to renew his passport for the upcoming UPW show in Japan…
Clerk: "I'm sorry Mr. LeBeau but there is nothing I can do. You appear to be on several no-fly lists, this goes way above my pay grade. I mean, I've helped expedite prisoners for overseas exchanges and those were cake compared to what I'm seeing here. Did you really threaten an air marshall with 'shoving his pistol up his ass until he enjoyed it' ?"
Jester: "I really did not want to watch Air Bud 3 and apparently switching the disk with 'Behind Your Mom's Backdoor 7' was also deemed unacceptable. "
Clerk: "And did you really pleasure yourself while riding the drink cart and telling the other passengers you were getting ready to spray your white Russian?
Jester: "Now that is ridiculous. Everyone knows penises have no nationality. "
Clerk: "What about fornication with 2 female flight attendants in the galley?"
Jester: "Someone was already in the bathroom. And my ass never touched those peanuts."
Clerk: "And it goes on and on and on. I don't see any way of getting your passport renewed short of a presidential pardon."
Jester: "Lemme use your phone. (He reaches over and grabs the landline telephone and pulls it to him) ooo, wired. Very retro. (Dials and waits for an answer) By the way, this isn't a local call… Hello? Yes, Ronald Waverly in legal please. Yeah, I'll hold. Ronaldo? It's J. No no no, you haven't pisses me off yet. But you will if you can't work your magic and get it so I can fly to Japan for next week's show. Yeah, we've got a title defense. That's right against Rated eM. OK, got it. (Hands the headset to the clerk) It's for you Joey Jo Jo."
Clerk: "Um, hello? Yes. Yes. That's right. 34 according to our records. Sure, let me check that… oh. Yes I see the note on his file… but you don't mean… ah ha, I see. No, I wouldn't want any trouble. How do you know how many kids I have? Oh dear. Right, OK. I'll take care of that. (Hangs up the phone then types onto his computer, stamps the passport and hands it to Jester) Looks like everything is in order. Enjoy your trip."
Jester: "Thank you. Damn that was easier than getting the doctor to sign my medical release. That guy took a hot coffee enema like a champ until I switched it to iced. Boy did he scream and shit at the same time, it was fantastic! OK then, now go back to your mediocre job and when you get home hold those 2 little girls tight and remember how close they were to becoming orphans, alright?"
Clerk: "I'm sorry Mr. LeBeau but there is nothing I can do. You appear to be on several no-fly lists, this goes way above my pay grade. I mean, I've helped expedite prisoners for overseas exchanges and those were cake compared to what I'm seeing here. Did you really threaten an air marshall with 'shoving his pistol up his ass until he enjoyed it' ?"
Jester: "I really did not want to watch Air Bud 3 and apparently switching the disk with 'Behind Your Mom's Backdoor 7' was also deemed unacceptable. "
Clerk: "And did you really pleasure yourself while riding the drink cart and telling the other passengers you were getting ready to spray your white Russian?
Jester: "Now that is ridiculous. Everyone knows penises have no nationality. "
Clerk: "What about fornication with 2 female flight attendants in the galley?"
Jester: "Someone was already in the bathroom. And my ass never touched those peanuts."
Clerk: "And it goes on and on and on. I don't see any way of getting your passport renewed short of a presidential pardon."
Jester: "Lemme use your phone. (He reaches over and grabs the landline telephone and pulls it to him) ooo, wired. Very retro. (Dials and waits for an answer) By the way, this isn't a local call… Hello? Yes, Ronald Waverly in legal please. Yeah, I'll hold. Ronaldo? It's J. No no no, you haven't pisses me off yet. But you will if you can't work your magic and get it so I can fly to Japan for next week's show. Yeah, we've got a title defense. That's right against Rated eM. OK, got it. (Hands the headset to the clerk) It's for you Joey Jo Jo."
Clerk: "Um, hello? Yes. Yes. That's right. 34 according to our records. Sure, let me check that… oh. Yes I see the note on his file… but you don't mean… ah ha, I see. No, I wouldn't want any trouble. How do you know how many kids I have? Oh dear. Right, OK. I'll take care of that. (Hangs up the phone then types onto his computer, stamps the passport and hands it to Jester) Looks like everything is in order. Enjoy your trip."
Jester: "Thank you. Damn that was easier than getting the doctor to sign my medical release. That guy took a hot coffee enema like a champ until I switched it to iced. Boy did he scream and shit at the same time, it was fantastic! OK then, now go back to your mediocre job and when you get home hold those 2 little girls tight and remember how close they were to becoming orphans, alright?"