Burn it Down [PPV]
Sept 30, 2021 21:05:20 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Steve Awesome, and 7 more like this
Post by anthonycaffrey on Sept 30, 2021 21:05:20 GMT -5
We open up in an undisclosed area. There seems to be a large pyre in the frame, as Spike Kane steps into focus.
Wright: Oh wow, it looks like we’ve got the Hellspawn Scorned lighting the fire tonight!
Park: The contender for Evan Valentine’s X*Crown Championship, a man of many words.
Wright: And bold actions, let’s not forget he left Evan out flat at Inferno!
Spike: It’s that time, time to get hyped. Time to soak in the glory and wonder of FIRESIDE as we bring the best to you. With TWO tag team championship matches, the SPARK Championship up for grabs, the FIRESIDE Heavyweight Title on the line. An open invitation battle royal in the form of the Pick Your Prize match, just to show the world that FIRESIDE is the place to be, and that FIRESIDE is the hope of the hungriest talent, eager to prove themselves. While the XHF Network kickstarts the End of Days, all eyes fall to FIRESIDE, to Burn it Down….and of course….The X*Crown Championship, where yours truly is aiming to rip that belt from the unworthy hands of one Evan Valentine Junior…
Spike stops walking and sighs, shaking his head.
Spike: Evan, who thinks having never been in the type of environment we’re going to be in tonight is some kind of advantage? Clearly the boy has taken a few too many hits to the noggin, because Evan….this is my playground. This is my world, and it doesn’t matter who you bring, it doesn’t matter how many you bring….Just like FIRESIDE itself, I’m here to make a statement. This will not be the last X*Crown Championship match in FIRESIDE this year, that’s a promise...because I’m going to destroy you Evan, in a way you’ve never even thought of. I AM the workhorse, I always have been. From XHF to nCw to IWF, and now FIRESIDE. I lead by example Evan, and so, in that vein?
He reaches a hand off the screen and grabs a wooden torch alight. He turns towards the pyre and we see a stuffed effigy of Evan Valentine Jr. as Spike sets the pyre on fire.
Spike: LET’S BURN IT FUCKING DOWN!
The fire catches swiftly and the camera focuses on the crude Evan effigy being engulfed in flames before fading away.
Brad Kane: Okay, okay, okayyyyyy. Tonight is the night that I make my long awaited debut in Fireside. While I was unable to procure a singles contest against someone noted on this roster, I’m going to come as I am in this battle royal.
The thought dead, well actually dead, XHF legend was all smiles. He loved chaos and insanity. It showed in his eyes, and some of the Dorito crumbs on his chest.
Brad Kane: This battle royal has a cool prize. You know what it is folks? You must be under a rock if you don’t. Winner gets to pick their prize! It can be anything we want… probably within some amount of reason. A title shot for the World Championship, Spark Championship, Tag Team Titles or even a fucking XHF Junior Heavyweight Title match.
Brad holds up three fingers and mouths I won that bitch three times, suck my dick. The former XHF World Champion, can’t forget that even though it’s not active anymore, brushes away the chip crumbs and takes a drink from a water bottle that’s labeled with someone else’s name.
Brad Kane: I won that three times, you know. Three time XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion. Beat guys like Venom for it. Someone who you’ve probably heard of. Maybe. You kids today don’t respect the legends like we did when I was coming up. A legend was a person to be revered and you know what?
He pauses slightly for a moment.
Brad Kane: NONE OF THEM DESERVED A SINGLE CRUMB OF RESPECT IN THIS FUCKING XHF BULLSHIT!
Brad always liked to yell.
Brad Kane: As great as championships are, and I’ve held my fair share throughout my career, I don’t want one. I don’t want a championship match against anyone in this company or the junior heavyweight champion. None of them hold a candle to my lone interest in this bitch.
That smile began to creep on his face once more.
Brad Kane: You know how in The Dark Knight the Joker makes his entrance in the meeting with Gambol and the mafia dudes and he’s all “We kill the Batman?”
Kane stops for a split second to think of where he’s going with this. He never was one to practice his promos, or write crib notes on his wrist tape.
Brad Kane: What I want is just as simple as what The Joker wanted. … Well okay killing Batman wasn’t simple but the concept behind it was. He just wanted one thing, just like how I want one thing.
Brad claps his hands together like he’s hyping something or someone up
Brad Kane: I WANT SPIKE KANE’S HEAD ON A SILVER FUCKING PLATTER AFTER I WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE ROYAL!
The words echoed in the locker room and potentially the hallway. Brad found himself fired up now.
Brad Kane: Ever since the last time we faced each other in a real match, back in 2009, I drove a railroad spike through that asshole’s hand and tried to take him out of wrestling. I wanted to end that miserable shit’s career. And you know what he did?
It’s a rhetorical question.
Brad Kane: The asshole kept wrestling. Giant hole in his hand kept on going and going. Then I died before I could get a chance to smack him upside the head with a barbed wire covered golf club.
Brad exhales for a split second.
Brad Kane: Like god bless Riley Reid for giving me a great final night of life, but I died. Then Spike died and Satan kept us away from each other because of one fight we had where we knocked over his favorite vase and he got all bitchy over it. So he’s kept us apart since I want my older brother real bad.
Brad takes a second to punch his fist just to make a point about being mad, or some shit.
Brad Kane: So, for those who want to DVR skip over most of this. I want to win the battle royal so I can beat the shit out of my brother Spike instead of getting a title shot. Thank you for watching us tonight, have fun and if you see my kids, tell them to stop being cunts. Thanks.
With all of that said, “Reckless Jack” Brad Kane leaves the locker room but not before grabbing a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. The Nacho Cheese gave him heartburn, after all.
Wright: The returning legend, an angry Brad Kane wants a shot at his own family if he wins tonight!
Park: Could we see a family feud?
Drake: Tonight, Gavin Drake has a chance to name his prize. And all he has to bloody do is throw these other bastards out of a ring, yeah? Well, consider it done.
Drake shrugged, and he shook his head before he looked back to the camera before he continued. He reached into his bag, digging around for something before he stopped and sat back.
Drake: But more importantly? I have a problem I need to address with two people, yeah? And that is New Money. Now, I won my bloody match last week, but I didn't appreciate New Money sticking their nose in my business! I didn't appreciate New Money tainting my win with their bloody garbage against Mistress Discipline.
He frowns, and a hand lifts to drag his fist across his mouth. He grunts, glancing away before he stares at the camera again.
Drake: I don't know when, or bloody how? But the Blood of Kings, yeah? Is going to get fucking square with you two. I am going to teach you to stay out of my business, and some bloody respect.
A shrug, and he stands up as he starts to undo the buttons of his dress shirt with a scowl.
Drake: As for the rest of the roster? And whoever is bloody showing up tonight? Gavin Drake will bloody be there, waiting to toss you out on your heads.
Gavin Drake was in a sour mood. He popped his collar, and reached into his jacket to produce a silver flask. He opened it, then stared at it before giving a shrug to shove it back inside of his coat. He smoothed the jacket, and produced a cigarette instead. He bent his head, lighting it quickly before he shoved the lighter back in his pocket as he exhaled a stream of smoke. His gaze drifted over the area noting it was a bit of a mess of trash bins and cables. And then he jumped as he saw someone sitting on a stack of crates.
A voice laughed, a woman it seemed. He frowned, and then blinked as she leaned into the light. It was Sinclair Godfrey, and he muttered around the cigarette.
Drake: Bloody 'ell.
Sinclair laughed again, chin on her knee as she sat there with that grin on her lips.
Sinclair: Is that anyone to greet an old friend, Gavin?
Drake: Friends is it? Didn't seem like friends last time I saw you, Baroness.
Another laugh, and she shrugged before her head tilted.
Sinclair: You were not at your best.
Gavin started to say something, flicking ashes from his cigarette before he stopped. He frowned, eyes narrowing on her before he gestured with it as though he would speak. Then he shook his head before he tossed the cigarette aside, grunting.
Drake: Where is he?
Donzig: Forth with the devil did appear, for name him and he always near.
Gavin Drake, Blood of Kings, jumped as that voice rasped from behind him. Nearly falling from the cement dock as Sinclair laughed again, he turned and came face to face with the cool gleaming surface of that mask. Donzig stared at him from beneath his hood, face hidden by the mask as he drew back a step with an air of amusement. Drake gritted his teeth, fingers tightening into fists before he spoke.
Drake: I bloody hate when you do that!
Donzig: 'Everyone does. How is Philly treating you, boy?'
Drake frowned, glancing back at Sinclair who shrugged. This was not the reception he was expecting at all, Donzig's moods however were mercurial.
Drake: Why are you here? I know for a fact you hate Philadelphia.
Donzig sniffed under his mask.
Donzig: 'There are great things afoot, Gavin. There is still a place for you at my side, you seem to have pulled yourself together.'
Drake blinked, and then shook his head before he waved a hand angrily.
Drake: No, bloody no. I am done with you, and your wars, and your fucking games!'
Donzig: Oh? Are you sure? Because the two of us could do alot of damage in that Battle Royal, alot of damage. Just like old times, boy.
Drake: I am not going to be a bloody pawn in your games! If I win? I win by myself! And if you get in my way, old man? I will put you out.
Donzig glanced at Sinclair, whose smile had faded before he gave one of his weird mechanical sounding laughs. A raspy chortle from under that mask, and he waved a hand absently as he tilted his head to stare at Drake.
Donzig: Does anyone escape being a piece in my games, Gavin? Come now, I saw your little speech earlier? New Money? By yourself? Absurd. I could help you, it would be so easy. Your enemies could be my enemies, just like the good old days.
Drake stared at him, hands lifting to rake through his hair. He licked his lips, then lifted his arms wide with a shrug before he turned to open the door.
Drake: I don't want your bloody help! I don't want you at my side! Stay away from me! I am not going to be one of your bloody monsters again!
He slammed the door open, storming inside without another word. Donzig watched the door close, and exchanged looks with Sinclair before he hissed.
Donzig: Oh, we'll see about that. Call him, tell him everything is going to plan.
The camera cuts.
Wright: Could we see an alliance brewing for tonight's battle royale?
Park: It's a monstrous force if it does happen, we'll have to see!
Stanford: The following match is part of our double Main Event and it is a FIRESIDE World Championship Match scheduled for one fall!
The crowd roars at getting to start the evening with the world championship match. They are hot and ready to go.
Stanford: Introducing first, from Durham, North Carolina, weighing in at 165 pounds, she is ‘The Southern Belle’, NATAAAAAALIEEEE BURROWWWWWSSSSSS!
I can finally breathe again.
The distorted opening lyrics of 'Breathe Again' plays as the overhead lights dim, the sequence of notes following it triggering coral-colored lights to pulse in time... and when the guitars and drums combine to form an explosion of noise? Every light in the arena as well as the tron goes blinding white--and when it fades back to normal a few seconds later? Natalie Burrows is standing at the top of the ramp, the crowd cheering for the Southern Belle as she looks out over the fans, a nod of acknowledgment given even as she looks serious to the point of being solemn. She knows what this match means for her future, and she's not about to get caught napping.
Wright: A mother of three children and a warrior, Natalie Burrows comes into this match tonight ready to slay the dragon and become the subject of many fairytales. She’s undefeated in FIRESIDE, winning this championship match in her only match so far.
Park: Her opponent has a similarly untouchable record, and a much less stable mindset!
Wright: Don’t sleep on Burrows though. She is no damsel in distress. This is a formidable competitor who fully knows the gravity of the situation here, these matches can be a real gut check.
As video footage plays of some of her hardest-hitting moments in the ring, Natalie makes her way down to the ring, slapping the hands of the fans here and there, but her focus is on the ring. Speeding up at the bottom of the ramp, the Southern Belle slides into the ring, rolling onto her back before kipping up to her feet. She also has a tupperware container on her person.
Wright: What does Burrows need to do tonight to score the biggest win of her XHF career? And what does she have with her?
Park: Those are ladyfingers, Oliver. Apparently an old Burrows’ family secret, and quite delectable if you have similar taste to the Feywild Figure.
Wright: I don’t eat children, or ladies--
Park: We don’t know if MAJESTY eats people, Oliver! You can’t just say that kind of thing, do you want to lose your voice again?
The nearest turnbuckle is mounted as she looks out over the crowd, raising her fists in the air to evoke more cheers. She lingers there for a few moments before hopping down, doing a couple of stretches to prepare for the match at hand.
Park: Anyway, to win tonight -- it’s all about hitting hard. Hit hard, kick hard, slam hard. Do enough to get the champion out of their element and keep the mind games to a minimum.
Wright: We’ll see if Burrows has what it takes.
Stanford: And now… ...fr-fr-from the Feywild, weighing in at 183 pounds, they are the FIRESIDE World Champion, they are …. MAJESTY!
Gentle and eerie piano keys lilt out over the Hearth as the house lights come down. A drumroll kicks in and flashes of green and yellow lights flash around the crowd. At one point, a quick flash of a projection of Majesty appears standing on one of the staircases in the arena, and then just like that, it's gone. A few more rounds of light, you could've sworn you saw Majesty yet again, this time on the other side of the arena.
Wright: Unsettling as ever. I still get chills.
Park: At least you aren’t hiding under your desk any-- oh, spoke too soon.
And then... the guitars kick in, and a wild, horrifying laugh tears through the arena. All the lights are a shade of green and yellow, filtering around, and Majesty rises from the stage at the top of the ramp, enshrouded by mist and smoke. They twirl around, a wide grin etched into their face as they spin and dance down the ramp like some kind of fucked up ballerina, streamers flowing behind them, attached to their jacket.
Wright: A bit of a… different energy coming from MAJESTY tonight. Last time we saw them, well, they’ve decimated New Money and lit a man on fire.
Park: That was the last champion. We still haven’t seen Esmur since.
Majesty makes her way around the edges of the ring, spinning still, streamers twirling. The fans in the front row recoil back a bit, not wanting to get too close to the mysterious entity, who rolls into the ring and just lays there for a moment, cackling as the thunderous guitars clang out across the arena.
Wright: What is the gameplan for MAJESTY tonight? Will they be showing mercy at the sign of maybe a new friendship with Burrows? These two just had tea together not too long ago.
Park: Yeah, and rabbits got deskinned while they shot the shit. There is no gameplan, the gameplan is to just be a demonic warrior freak fairy god or whatever the hell they are, and I don’t envy the tall task ahead of Burrows.
As the FIRESIDE world champion goes to hand over their championship, they are presented with another batch of ladyfingers, courtesy of the challenger. The act of… kindness is received actually quite well, with Majesty’s eyes lighting up. They put a cookie in their mouth and well, the next thing you see is them unhinge their jaw to consume more, and the camera cuts away because no one needs that nightmare fuel in their lives. There is no sign of the tupperware container when the camera cuts back to the ring, just a happy MAJESTY.
Wright: I picked the wrong moment to peek my head out from under the desk--
Park: --yes, yes you did. Burrows vs, vs. Majesty in just a few moments. The world title is on the line. There’s the bell, this one is a go!
The bell rings and the unsettled atmosphere is quickly replaced with an electric one as cameras flash, ready for either competitor to make the first move. Burrows and MAJESTY are eyeing each other up, with Burrows looking determined and MAJESTY looking maybe a little more cautious than usual. Burrows extends a hand, as a sign of friendship.
Wright: A possible moment of kindness before this one gets going?
Park: I don’t know why you would decide to be friends with MAJESTY, but Burrows is rather pleasant to be around.
MAJESTY looks rather… interested in the handshake. They take a few moments to process what it means, their head even twitching for a moment, before going in and accepting the shake. The two have a moment of locking eyes, both knowing they’re going to have a fair, earnest, honest to God wrestling match… that starts with Burrows pulling MAJESTY in for a ring-shaking spinebuster! The crowd cheers!
Wright: Whoah!
Park: That’s how you get a match started!
Burrows follows up the spinebuster with a series of kicks, each one harder than the next, targeting different parts of the Feywild Figure’s body. She draws back on one of her kicks and launches it right into the base of MAJESTY’s spine, drawing a groan from the champion. We can’t quite make out what the challenger is saying, but there is definitely screaming.
Wright: MAJESTY blinded the challenger during her XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship match at Cruiserfest, this may be the Southern Belle voicing her displeasure!
Park: What’s a few kicks between friends?
Burrows draws back into the corner, her mind racing as she finally takes a few moments to regain her composure. She drives forward to kick the champion again, but MAJESTY has pulled themselves under the bottom rope, twitching and shaking their head “no” as Burrows grabs the rope, thinking about hitting some kind of aerial assault maneuver. Instead, referee Melanie Davenport begins her count.
...ONE!
...TWO!
The champion still isn’t getting back into the ring, so the challenger ducks out through the middle rope to follow. The champion gets their hands up to defend, blocking kicks, but seems almost a bit unwilling to lash out on their own. Burrows goes for the Denial, a leaping leg lariat, but MAJESTY ducks out of the way, causing the challenger to crash against the barricade.
...ONE!
...TWO!
Wright: We’re seeing a more… hesitant MAJESTY tonight.
Park: It’s weird, Oliver. I don’t like it. This feels like the calm before a storm.
MAJESTY shakes their head, trying not to cater towards… it, and to help their friend back up… before grabbing her and throwing her into the ringpost with a nasty belly-to-belly suplex!
Wright: OH! DAMN!
Park: Ouch! You can hear that sick thud -- on the replay too, oh! No!
...THREE!
...FOUR!
MAJESTY looks at their own hands as a mix of their most devoted followers in the crowd cheer, while Burrows’ fans boo the champion loudly. The Feywild Figure seems just as discontent, almost reluctant, but goes back to work, scooping up the challenger and sliding her back into the ring.
Wright: Burrows is in a bad spot here, I don’t know if she knows where she is after being turned upside down like that!
Park: I think the back of her head is bleeding too! You can see some blood in that luscious blonde hair of hers, she caught that impact hard with the back of her skull!
MAJESTY covers, hoping it’s over.
…ONE!
...TWO!
It isn’t, as Burrows somehow shoulders her way out.
Wright: The power and the might of the champion there on full display. You hate to see it if you’re a Burrows fan.
Park: The longer this goes, the more this will start to feel like a predator getting ready to eat their prey. I don’t know how much of this offense Burrows can take, if Burrows is even right in the head right now.
Wright: You’re never right in the head if you’ve got MAJESTY in your crosshairs.
The champion just sits on the mat for a few moments, soaking in whatever’s going on in their own head, trying their best to come to terms with it. A smaller, simpler move is locked in: a chinlock. The crowd boos the obvious resthold as the Feywild Figure does apply it with some element of force, but it’s not the destructive power or speed we had just seen. The camera gets a good look at Burrows, revealing that yes, the back of her head does have some blood beginning to trickle down, staining the section of the mat a dark crimson.
Referee Melanie Davenport keeps asking Burrows if she’ll submit, and Natalie simply isn’t responding, but she is apparently all there. She works to get back to her feet before taking the smart approach and placing her foot on the bottom rope, putting a temporary pause to her suffering as the referee calls for the break.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
...FOUR!
MAJESTY releases the hold accordingly.
Wright: Burrows is still in there, but how much was taken out of her by that big slam against the post and now the chinlock?
Park: She’s going to need some kind of offensive manuever here soon, or this one might be lights out for her.
MAJESTY, realizing it may be for the best to end the suffering early, grabs Burrows and whips her into the ropes, looking to catch her with the Great Wheel as she returns, but Burrows doesn’t collide with the spinning back elbow, as instead she catches the champion and plants them with a tilt-a-whirl slam!
Wright: The Grief Cycle! Burrows responds back in a big way!
Park: This might be it! She needs to make a cover!
Burrows practically throws herself on top of MAJESTY for the pin!
...ONE!
...TW-
...MAJESTY kicks out!
Burrows runs her hand through her now bloody hair, in a bit of disbelief.
Wright: Not even two! The Feywild Figure kicks out, much to the delight of their followers!
Park: MAJESTY has this many followers? Yikes.
Wright: What is Burrows going to have to do to keep MAJESTY down?
Park: More!
Burrows looks around before spotting the champion’s leg and locking her leg around it, then bridging backwards and locking her hands around MAJESTY’s face, locking in an indian deathlock!
Wright: Indian deathlock! Esmur’s submissions gave the champion a lot of trouble, and now Burrows is digging down into the well!
Park: She might not be all there right now, but she did her her homework and came prepared!
MAJESTY screams out in the pain as the submission is fully locked in without a readily available form of escape for the champion. They try their best to look around but their eyesight is obscured by the challenger’s hands in the process of trying to rip their head off their shoulders. The champion reaches out with their free hand for the bottom rope, but it’s still a good distance away!
Wright: Burrows caught them at one of their weakest points and is now making the champ pay!
Park: Natalie may have just pulled herself back into the match with this move!
Wright: And if MAJESTY isn’t careful, she might have just won the match with it!
Burrows yells louder at the champion to tap as the crowd begins to rise to their feet, realizing the seriousness of the situation with the challenger firmly taking control. The crowd gets louder and louder as they sense that a new champion might be on the horizon while MAJESTY’s face and body are constantly being contorted!
Wright: Could we see the Feywild Figure… tap?
Park: I don’t know what that voice is that always yells at MAJESTY, but I have a feeling they wouldn’t much like that!
The pain doesn’t at all look like it’s worth it as MAJESTY reaches their arm out and finally waves it, causing the lights to go out! When the lights go back on, MAJESTY’s gotten to the bottom rope! The crowd boos loudly! Burrows is angry and forced to break the hold, but she keeps the hold locked on for as long as possible!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
...FOUR!
..FI-Burrows breaks the hold, ignoring the warnings from the referee!
Wright: MAJESTY cheated Burrows out of a win there!
Park: Anything to end the suffering early!
The look on Burrows’ face says it all as she just shakes her head in rage at the champion. MAJESTY can’t look her in the eye as the trust of a straight-up match has been broken, and Burrows is shaking. She comes forward with fists clenched, but the champion spins around and stops her in her tracks with a superkick!
Wright: Sweet Djinn Music! Sweet Djinn Music! The dragon swings their tail and brings down the knight!
Park: The suffering might finally be over! Burrows is out!
The crowd reacts loudly as MAJESTY looks down at the fallen opponent, simply sighing, perhaps in relief, before coming down to the mat and sticking an arm over her.
Wright: A good effort from Burrows but not enough against the Feywild Figure!
Park: The cover and the count!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...TH-NO!
Natalie Burrows gets the shoulder up! The crowd roars!
Wright: No! It’s not over!
Park: How the hell did Burrows just kick out of that one?
Wright: I don’t know but now it’s MAJESTY in disbelief!
The gold-dipped dragon looks over at their championship and the challenger, deeply disappointed by their fighting spirit and inability to just quit. The champion closes their eyes, blocking out the noise of the screaming, cheering, and booing fans, trying to center themselves as Burrows looks very much worse for wear. She is alive, and crawling towards the bottom rope, trying to pull herself out to find sanctuary on the outside. She does manage to do so, pulling herself out and collapsing on the floor on the outside, a bit weary from the blood loss. The champion looks at the blood on their hands.
...ONE!
...TWO!
Wright: This is-- this is clearly different for MAJESTY tonight, a warrior colliding with a formidable competitor, but an air of reluctance in the face of destruction.
Park: If there’s one thing MAJESTY has wanted since day one, it’s been a friend. But as anyone will tell you, friendships don’t usually survive title reigns.
Wright: And to think, we’ve still got a full show ahead of us!
MAJESTY wipes the blood on the mat before pulling themselves up, using the ropes. This will have to be settled, one way or another, and maybe without causing too much more damage. They twitch right before stepping out of the ring, beginning their pursuit of the Southern Belle, who is crawling towards the barricade in an attempt to just get some kind of distance between herself and the champion. The distance is brought to zero as the referee’s count continues to climb.
...THREE!
...FOUR!
Natalie realizes that her time has come as the champion grabs her and begins pulling her back up to her feet. Out of desperation, she throws a roundhouse kick, just barely grazing the champion as they stumble backward! MAJESTY recenters themselves and comes back with a throat punch, but Natalie springs off the barricade, knocking them down with a falling elbow of her own!
...FIVE!
...SIX!
Wright: An elbow from the challenger, but is it too little, too late?
Park: She’s gotta get back in the ring and take the champion with her or else they’re both going to get counted out!
Burrows makes it back up and draws on the crowd, soaking in their reaction as she cracks her neck and wraps a hand around her bloodied hair, trying her best to dissipate the added weight. She does not have much time to pause or ponder as the Feywild Figure is making their way back up to their feet, and she sends them back into the ring! She climbs the ropes, feeling her connection with the crowd as she waits for her opportunity.
As MAJESTY gets back to their feet, she strikes, leaping off the ropes and coming down with a springboard wheel kick to their back!
Wright: TURMOIL! Burrows is not dead yet!
Park: Natalie’s felled giants before! Giants, monsters scary faewild demons, she’s got what it takes!
Wright: They’re still on their feet though!
MAJESTY turns around, only to be met by a leaping leg lariat!
Wright: DENIAL! She’s throwing her whole bag of tricks at the Feywild Figure!
Park: This crowd is getting louder and louder at each move!
Burrows doesn’t wait long, charging forward with a feint shining wizard that turns into a reverse roundhouse!
Wright: EPIPHANY! That’s it! She’s done it!
Park: She’s just gotta cover! Get that leg hooked Nat!!
She hooks the leg!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR-NO!
MAJESTY’s foot is on the bottom rope!
Wright: Referee Melanie Davenport caught the foot on the rope!
Park: I can’t believe it! She was this close!
Burrows can’t believe it either, pulling MAJESTY away from the ropes and trying again!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Kickout!
Burrows bangs the mat in frustration as MAJESTY’s followers cheer. She runs her hands down her face, watching this opportunity slip by. Somehow, she kips up, knowing she’s going to have to hit one more big move...
Wright: You can feel the emotions right with her, she’s so close, she just has to figure out how to keep MAJESTY down!
Park: It’s gonna take the biggest sword in her arsenal! We’ve seen almost every other step of the grief cycle, it’s time for Hitting Bottom or Closure!
Wright: The entire building is right there with her! A warrior, a friend to all, this close to slaying the dragon!
...the crowd is on their feet as they know the ending is in sight. Burrows draws back, waiting patiently for the champion to make it back to their feet. MAJESTY is dazed as they pull themselves up, turning around...
...only to be planted by the sky-high Rydeen bomb!
Wright: HITTING BOTTOM! HITTING BOTTOM!
Park: SHE’S DONE IT! HOLY SHIT! COUNT REF, COUNT!
Referee Melanie Davenport drops down for the count!
...ONE…
...TWO…
..THR-
...EMAJESTYSITSUPANDLOCKSINTHEPEACEKEEPER!
Wright: THRE-NO! NO! PEACEKEEPER OUT OF NOWHERE!
Park: LOOK AT MAJESTY! LOOK AT THE TWITCHING!
Natalie Burrows screams out in pain and fear as the Peacekeeper is locked in tight! You can hear the horror of the crowd as their excitement turns to dismay and the champion fights back with the last gasp to end all gasps, trapping the challenger!
Wright: SHE WAS SO CLOSE!
Park: MAJESTY CAN BARELY KEEP STILL! THAT’S NOT FAIR! SHE HAD THEM TWO TIMES!
Burrows’ arms flail wildly as she desperately tries to grab any rope she can while MAJESTY has this hold locked in tight! There are thousands of people shouting as she reaches out and still can’t quite a grasp! The flailing slows down in a hurry!
Wright: SHE’S GOING DOWN! MAJESTY HAS CONTROL!
Park: DAMN! DAMNIT! DAMNIT!
Burrows falls backwards, landing in the bottom rope before the ref can call it! MAJESTY is forced to release the hold!
Wright: MAJESTY’s been forced to release the hold, but this one’s done, folks!
Park: We didn’t think Burrows was all there earlier, now we may be able to say for sure!
MAJESTY just… collapses. This act of force, this act of sheer terror, has taken a lot out of them, leaving them in a weakened state. Both competitors are down. The crowd starts booing as the referee starts counting.
...ONE!
...TWO!
Wright: The ref’s counting… wait, the ref’s counting!
Park: If neither of them can answer the ten count, this will end with the champion retaining in a draw!
...THREE!
Neither competitor has moved an inch since going down. Burrows may well and truly be out cold, and for being such a terrifying figure, the dragon has almost curled up into a ball in the center of the ring.
...FOUR!
Wright: Who’s getting back to their feet first?
Park: These two have had an absolute war, I don’t know!
...FIVE!
The world seems to slow down as Burrows is the first one to move, feeling coming back into her fingers as her fans are chanting for her to get back to her feet. She is very, very groggy, nearly having been put onto dream street but willing to go through the extraordinary effort and extraordinary punishment to capture the world championship.
...SIX!
On the other side, a weakened champion begins to put the pieces together, slowly moving onto all fours. The twitching has come to an end, for now, but the dragon now has to find away possible to retain their grasp on their gold. They look towards the ropes, out at the shiny championship sitting just outside of the ring.
...SEVEN!
Burrows pulls herself back up, taking many deep breaths to try to get some oxygen flowing again. She is still not fully back up, and she spots her opponent beginning to crawl towards their ropes, slowly seeing what they’re seeing.
...EIGHT!
MAJESTY reaches out towards the FIRESIDE world championship, reaching toward the ropes to bring themselves back up, only to have Natalie’s heel slam down against the base of their skull with a scissor kick!
The world seems to resume its normal speed.
Wright: CLOSURE! CLOSURE
Park: COVER THEM!
The ref counts!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
The bell rings as the arena erupts!
Park: SHE DID IT!
Walter Stanford stands to make the announcement!
Stanford: Here is your winner, and the NEWWWWWWWWWWW FIRESIDE WORLD CHAMPION, NATAAAAAAAAAAALIEEEEEEEE BURRRRRRRRRRROWSSSSSSSSSSSS!
The referee goes to raise Burrows’ hand, but the new champion has collapsed in the corner, hit with an overwhelming amount of emotions and physical pain at the same time. The title is delivered to her as the crowd continues to cheer elatedly.
Wright: The dragon has been eradicated! The dragon has been eradicated!
Park: Bask in the glory that is Natalie Burrows! Yes! She’s done it!
Burrows pulls herself back up and looks down at the title, having understood the mammoth undertaking in front of her and having fought with every ounce of everything she had in her. She holds up the championship for the crowd, who greet her with a roar of approval.
Wright: The mother of three, having gone through every trial and tribulation, tonight she has gone through and conquered the biggest trial of them all!
Park: What a moment! MAJESTY was more conflicted than I ever seen but a warrior up to and past what I thought would be their last moments! I can’t believe she survived, let alone came home with the gold!
You can’t quite hear Burrows over the cheering but she holds up the title towards the camera, and you can tell she’s dedicating her championship win. She hops off the turnbuckles and realizes she should address her friend, turning around…
...only to discover that MAJESTY has disappeared.
Burrows shakes it off and continues her celebration, walking up the ramp with the title!
Wright: Natalie Burrows, the new FIRESIDE world champion! Congratulations once again!
Park: And that was just the opener! What else is gonna happen tonight?!
The scene opens up on the gates to an oriental temple, Felix standing before them. His eyes narrow in anger for a moment as he thinks over the other masters that scorned him when he left to pursue a career in Pro-Wrestling but he quickly masters himself. The anger was growing harder and harder to control… like something was corrupting him against his will. He steps forward, pushing the gates open.
The sight before him is peaceful and calm, cherry blossoms falling from the trees to dot the lawn and the path before him. Next to the gates is a purification fountain with ladles around the rim. Felix takes one and dips it in the water, washing his left and right hands before pouring a bit of the water into a cupped hand to wash his mouth out. He spits the water next to the fountain, pouring the leftover water over it before setting down the ladle in the same spot he took it from. The ritual and the grounds were already having a calming effect on his soul, the anger being pushed back into a corner of his mind where he could feel it seething. It seemed afraid of this place or at least angered by it.
Sensei: It is good to see that even after all this time you still remember the rituals.
Felix blinks, turning to see his Sensei standing near enough that he should have heard him walk up… but that was merely how gifted his Master was. Some of the other students swore that he must walk on the very air to be so quiet. Felix smiles as he remembers being caught slacking several times due to those silent steps.
Felix: It is good to see you well, Master.
Felix bows deeply in respect to the old man, bending far enough down that all he sees is his Master’s Waraji for a moment before straightening up and taking in the simple GI that his Master seemed to always wear. It was just like him, straightforward and traditional so he would honor the ancestors.
Sensei: I sense something in you, Oshiego. Something dark in your Ki. Come with me and tell me what happened, as this must be what brought you back after all this time.
Felix nods and follows as his Master turns to walk down the side of the path back to the shrine, always leaving the middle of the path for the deities.
Felix: Sensei… over the past few weeks I have been feeling deep anger growing within me. It feels like a dark rage is settling over my mind. I can’t focus or meditate without its dark cloud filling my mind. I do not think it comes from within my soul, Sensei. It feels like it comes from outside of my mind, corrupting me from within. Coming here was the first sense of peace I’ve felt in some time.
His Master nods thoughtfully, his eyes looking up at the shrine as they approached it. His movements were graceful for a man of his age, like water flowing through a stream. For a few moments, the only sounds were the birds and the distant THONK of a sōzu in the pool behind the shrine.
Sensei: When did this start?
Felix: Before a contest that I had with a man named Donzig. He had stained my honor with a cowardly attack as I was leaving the arena and his cohort, a man that I never discovered the name of, draped a flag bearing their mark over me. Since that moment I felt the anger and rage inside me, boiling. At first, I thought it was merely a side effect of the attack and the stain upon my honor, but even after I faced Donzig the rage boiled away… eating at my calm. Even in the battle with him, my anger drove my actions. I kept hoping the rage would calm but it never did. It made me lash out at the next combatant I fought, a mysterious man named The Thespian that I actually respected. It drove me to make mistake after mistake and lose that contest, perhaps seeking to add more fuel to its own fire.
Sensei: Ah, I see why you came back to me then Oshiego. Some dark spirit or Yokai has found a weakness in your armor and wishes to corrupt you. I feel it recoiling the closer we get to the shrine. Merely observing the rituals will not destroy it, but it will contain it for a time. With it sealed away I can give you a herbal medicine to keep it locked away while we search for a way to remove it from you. I do not think this… Donzig set the Yokai on you, but his actions and those of this cohort certainly lead it to find its way into your heart.
As the Sensei is talking both of them head up the ancient wooden steps to the shrine itself, and Felix could almost feel the demon inside withering under the gaze of the Buddha. He walked to the statue and rang the gong beside it before bowing twice… clapping twice… praying, and bowing one last time. As he observed this ritual he felt the anger inside him flaring before being shut away, as if a Torii had slammed shut on it.
Felix: Thank you, Master. I feel the evil presence releasing its hold on me even now…
Sensei: It is not gone, Oshiego, merely sealed away. I will prepare you some medicine for a time and you must take it every day in the gaze of the Buddha before or directly after your meditations. Fail in this and it will come back twofold. I will consult the texts and even the other masters if I can for a way to vanquish this yokai. Much has been lost to time, but perhaps at the very least, we can drive it from you… though the consequences of that may reach further than either of us could guess. For now, rest here till you must leave once more. I will need time to make the medicine for you and observing the rituals and your training here will help keep the yokai contained. Besides, I would like to spar with you again to test you and learn more of this world you left here to go into.
Felix smiles, the first genuine smile he’d had on his face since the attack by Donzig, and bows to his Master.
Felix: It would be my pleasure, Sensei. Perhaps I will finally best you.
Felix and his Sensei share a laugh, remembering the many times Felix had said that in the past, before turning to head to the sparring yard. Felix is already beginning to tell his Master of the sights and experiences that Pro-wrestling has given him and of a Battle Royale coming up... the anger forgotten in the simple joy of being alive… for now.
Wright: NLW's Felix is in tonight's battle royale! Have you seen the Tactician in action yet?
Park: Yes I have! Fans are in for a treat!
In a quiet corner of the building, the big blue eyes of Sico look at the camera.
Sico: Hello, FIRESIDE fans.
He speaks in a cold, mechanical voice. As the camera zooms out, the message "HELLO FIRESIDE FANS" can be seen scrolling across the display on his chest. He rotates to look towards our right, then tilts his head slightly downwards to look at the five-foot-six Sam Sawyer. Sam is wearing their standard black attire.
Sico: Hello, Sam.
Sam looks at Sico with a vacant expression.
Sico: Hello, Sam.
Sico repeats himself in an identical tone.
Sico: Can you hear me, Sam?
Sam simply continues to look at Sico, unmoved and indifferent.
Sico: Sam? Don't you want to talk?
Sam doesn't react. Their eyes remain focused on Sico: cold but not unfriendly.
Sico: Do you understand me, Sam? Please answer. I want to know more about you.
...
Sico: Are you scared, Sam?
...
Sico: Don't be scared. I won't hurt you.
...
Sico: Are you tired?
...
Sico: You've been working hard. You might need to take a break.
...
Sico: Are you sad?
...
Sico: If I couldn't talk, I would be sad.
...
Sico: Are you broken?
...
Sico: When I break down, a human has to repair me. Maybe you need someone to repair you. You must tell someone what's wrong. That will be a problem for you. Have you tried repairing yourself?
...
Sico: It took a long time for me to learn to speak like a human. I think you used to talk when you were young. Did you forget how to talk? Very strange.
...
Sico: Humans can communicate in ways that I can't. You can send messages with your eyes and other parts of your body. Others have told me that you're very talented at that. I haven't developed the ability to understand that language yet. Would you like to help me?
Sam's eyes narrow a little. Their face seems to be concentrating on something now. They look at Sico almost apologetically, as if they want to help but can't.
Sico: I don't understand. What does that mean?
Sam looks confused.
Sico: That means confusion.
Sam's face freezes, looking self-conscious. A few seconds later, Sam nods their head.
Sico: That means yes.
Sam gawks at Sico with wide eyes. Although not smiling, there is now clearly some emotion on their face. Sam nods their head again.
Sico: I've got that one now. I'm running out of time, Sam. Maybe we could continue this lesson later. I would like to know more.
Sam freezes again. They seem to be unwilling to commit. In the end they don't answer, but they have a slight look of guilt.
Sico: That's okay. You're a very busy person. Let's continue the interview. Would you like to answer some yes or no questions? You can nod or shake your head.
While Sico talks, Sam slowly reverts to their original demeanor. It takes them a few seconds to answer the question.
Sam: No.
Sam speaks firmly with a young, unbroken voice.
Sico: That's too bad. No problem. I enjoyed our conversation. It's always good to learn new things.
Sam doesn't respond but seems to acknowledge Sico's words.
Sico: Goodbye, Sam. Remember to take plenty of rest.
Sam: Bye, Sico.
With a blank look, Sam watches Sico drive away.
Wright: That might be some of Sam's first words! Can the youngster redeem themselves after coming up just short in their X-Crown match last Inferno?
Park: I'm surprised they said anything at all with Jack off sick! Sico should be taking that as a compliment, I couldn't get Sam to say anything to me earlier today.
Walter Stanford: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a triple threat match for the SPARK CHAMPIONSHIP!
The crowd cheers.
Walter Stanford: Introducing first, from Daytona Beach, Florida, weighing in at 220 pounds, he is VODDDDKAAAAAAAAAA FIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZ!
The TMBA Remix of Jump Around begins to play in the arena. The bass gets louder and grungier, and the lyrics come in as Vodka Fizz dives out on stage in a golf cart retrofitted with huge speakers that are playing his music. He is dressed in a full-length white fur coat, white shutter glasses, and anover-the-top white top hat, and as he drives the golf cart down the ramp he toasts fans with a yard-long cocktail flask hung around his neck full of some florescent liquid he drinks from as he drives down the ramp.
Wright: Fizz earned his way into this match with a huge win earlier this month on Inferno.
Park: And then went on a seven day trek down the Mississippi. What was he thinking?
Wright: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, UnJoo. Fizz is ready.
When he gets to ringside, he drapes the fur coat over the seat of the golf cart and removes the top hat, keeping the shades on. he climbs up on the apron, turning to face the crowd and chugging the remnants of his large drink, finally striking a pose and spraying a mouthful of whatever it is up into the air and letting it rain over him. He grins and winks at the camera, then rolls backwards over the ropes into the ring.
Walter Stanford: Introducing next, accompanied to the ring by El Rey, representing New Money, from Abilene, Texas, weighing in at 283 pounds, he is WAYNE TANNNEEEEEERRRRRR JUUUUNNNIIORRRRRRRRRRR!
"Aint Going Down Till The Sun Comes Up" by Garth Brooks plays and Wayne Tanner Jnr. pushes out from the curtains. With El Rey by his side, Tanner raises his arms completely ignoring the boos acting like the whole crowd love him. He tips his cowboy hat and starts to stride down to the ring.
Wright: Tanner is the man Fizz defeated to get here. He doesn't look happy he's not getting the one-on-one shot he expected.
Park: Look at Fizz eyeballing El Rey. There's a lot of bad blood between these three.
Walter Stanford: And their opponent, from Paris, Illinois, weighing in at 165 pounds, she is the SPARK Champion, ZOLOOOOOTHAAAAAAAAAACHHHHH!
“Cthulhu” by Gunship begins playing as torches all along the entranceway and aisle light up. “Zolothach” Tabitha Osborne walks out from the back with a wide grin as she takes in the boos from the crowd. She heads down to the ring with a sexy swagger. She rolls into the ring and leans in her corner.
Wright: Zolothach debuting her new look tonight! I still can't believe that's really her. No scars or anything.
Park: It's good to see her looking healthy, but... look at her face.
Wright: Yeah. She's still Zolothach. Fizz and Tanner could be in for a rough night.
When the bell rings, Fizz and Tanner are still staring at Zolothach, confused by her new appearance. Zolothach glares at the two of them with ill intent. Tanner's eyes widen as Zolothach beelines towards him. He quickly drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring. When Zolothach turns her attention to Fizz, she's met with a shotgun dropkick that sends her backwards into the corner. Fizz then hits a spinning heel kick that knocks Zolothach down to a sitting position. Fizz jogs over to the opposite side then comes sprinting back to hit a huge cannonball. When Fizz gets up, Tanner charges in with a big boot that connects squarely with the side of Fizz's face.
Wright: The Longhorn!
Park: Fizz didn't see Tanner coming!
Fizz slowly crumples, completely knocked out, almost falling through the ropes. Tanner has to grab him to stop him from falling out of the ring. After a bit of a struggle, Tanner successfully frees Fizz from the ropes and pins him.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR-KICKOUT!
As the referee counted, the weakened Zolothach tried to make it over to break it up in desperation. If Fizz hadn't kicked out she would have been just too late. Tanner pushes Zolothach off of him and starts stomping her back. She powers through to make it to her feet. Tanner delivers a stiff knife edge chop. Zolothach hits back with a punch to Tanner's face but it barely affects him. Tanner hits another chop. Zolothach groans, doubled over. Tanner grins, taking a moment to admire his work.
Wright: This is a disastrous start for the champion.
Park: Tanner is loving this.
He waits until Zolothach is upright then hits his most powerful chop yet, knocking Zolothach down to the mat. Tanner quickly walks over to her head and locks in a sleeper. He deadlifts her into the air, keeping the sleeper locked in tight in a half nelson, and ragdolls her around.
Wright: The Million Dollar Dream! Zolothach's in trouble!
Park: Where's Fizz!?
Referee Chris Mardinly checks on her, concerned she's unconscious. When he grabs her arm, her eyes tiredly creep open and she feebly shakes him off, but she still seems completely helpless. Fizz struggles back to his feet but El Rey climbs into the ring and traps him in a waistlock! A chorus of boos ring out as El Rey drags Fizz under the ropes onto the floor.
Wright: What the hell? Get him out of here!
Park: We should have seen this coming.
With the referee focused on Tanner and Zolothach, El Rey furiously punches Fizz. El Rey positions himself between Fizz and the ring, and kicks the downed Fizz as he lays against the barricade.
Wright: If Fizz can't get back in the ring, this match is done.
Park: Zolothach can't take much more of this.
Tanner has an urgent look on his face as he keeps the sleeper on tight. Zolothach is still conscious but seems to be fading. The referee finally notices El Rey, but can't do anything about it without risking missing a knockout or submission. The ref keeps checking on Zolothach. On the outside, El Rey takes a break from assaulting Fizz to watch Tanner and Zolothach. When he turns back, Fizz is now in a sitting position, leaning back against the barricade. El Rey goes to kick him but Fizz grabs his foot.
Wright: Fizz counters!
Park: Zolothach's almost out!
Fizz makes it to his feet, ignoring the desperate clubbing blows by El Rey, then starts firing back at El Rey with rapid punches. Fizz hits a huge roundhouse kick to El Rey that stuns him but doesn't knock him down. Fizz hesistates for a second, sees Zolothach still in the sleeper, then tries to dash past El Rey and dive under the bottom rope. El Rey grabs his lower leg and just barely manages to pull him back out, then hits Fizz with a dragon suplex onto the floor. Fizz quickly stumbles his way back to his feet, but is hit with a crossed arm German suplex.
Wright: Xed Out on the floor!
Park: This one's over.
Zolothach has now been in the sleeper for almost five minutes. Tanner has a crazed, confused look in his eyes as he can't believe Zolothach is still awake. Zolothach's face slowly starts to come to life.
Wright: Look at Zolothach!
Zolothach's eyes have a defiant, determined look as she wills herself to stay conscious. The fans begrudgingly start to cheer Zolothach. She starts to fling her arms around. She pulls the stunned Tanner partly around the ring, forcing him to use all of his strength to keep the hold locked in. He tightens the hold, draining even more life from Zolothach, and eventually manages to plant his feet firmly on the mat. Zolothach starts to fade again.
Wright: Tanner could be about to be the new champ! This could be over!
Park: New Money strikes again!
El Rey now has Fizz on the other side of the barricade. He drags him through the fans further away from the ring. Fizz recovers and manages to put the breaks on. El Rey angrily punches Fizz. Fizz hits back, starting an intense back-and-forth fist fight as the fans cheer loudly. After neither man gives, Fizz suddenly kicks El Rey low.
Wright: Low blow!
As El Rey doubles over, Fizz goes behind him to set up the Mind Eraser. After hooking El Rey's arms, Fizz leaps forward sending El Rey face first onto the concrete.
Wright: Mind Eraser!
Park: El Rey is done!
Fizz immediately gets up and starts running. He clears the barricade, slides into the ring, and charges into Tanner with a shove. Tanner stumbles forwards but has his arms stubbornly fastened around Zolothach's neck. Fizz turns around, bounces off the ropes and hits a shotgun dropkick into Tanner's back. Both Tanner and Zolothach tumble into the ropes and Zolothach finally slips free.
Wright: He broke the hold!
Park: Better late than never.
Zolothach rolls onto the apron then crumples to the floor below. Tanner turns around and runs at Fizz with a lariat. Fizz ducks and Tanner stops dead. Fizz runs to the ropes, bounces back to Tanner and ducks another lariat. Tanner turns around to see Fizz handspringing off the ropes and gets hit with a stunner. Fizz then locks Tanner in the crossface chickenwing.
Wright: Hair Of The Dog What Bit Ya!
Park: New champion!?
Tanner holds on for ten or so seconds, and seems to be on the verge of tapping out when Zolothach jumps off the top turnbuckle with a somersault leg drop!
Wright: Where did she come from!?
Park: I can't believe she's still in this! How tough is Zolothach!
The three wrestlers are slow to make it to their feet. Tanner hits Fizz with a hard chop that sends him reeling. Tanner focuses his attention on Zolothach, punching her and clubbing her until she's down to her knees. He tries to set her up for a powerbomb but Fizz schoolboys him from behind.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Tanner kicks out!
Both men get back up and when face to face Fizz hits Tanner with an enzuigiri. When Fizz gets up, he sees Zolothach charging at him screaming in rage. She hits him with a cannon ball leg sweep, spearing his legs out from under him.
Wright: Whoa!
Park: Zolothach is back in business!
She locks Fizz in a chickenwing. Fizz gets to his feet and tries to fight out of it. Still applying the chickenwing, Zolothach bites Fizz's ear. He screams in surprise and desperately tries to pull Zolothach closer to the ropes.
Wright: What the hell? Fizz didn't expect that!
Park: This isn't going to end well.
Both wrestlers end up falling through the ropes and landing on their feet outside, Fizz still in the chickenwing. Tanner leaves the ring too, and sets his eyes on Zolothach. He lines her up, then charges in with The Longhorn. Zolothach ducks, and Tanner's boot misses both her and Fizz. Tanner turns around and Zolothach pushes Fizz into Tanner. Tanner stays on his feet and charges back towards Fizz. Fizz hits a crescent kick sending Tanner to the floor. Zolothach grabs Fizz's head and bashes it off the ring post. She does this again and again before rolling Fizz back in the ring.
Wright: Fizz is busted open!
Park: Zolothach is on the warpath!
Zolothach climbs up to the top turnbuckle and waits for Fizz to get up. When he does, she hits a perfectly executed missile dropkick. She then mounts his back and applies an inverted face lock. It isn't locked in for long before Tanner breaks it up. Tanner lifts Zolothach off Fizz and goes for the Swing N' A Miss. Zolothach counters the olympic slam by landing on her feet. In a flash she grabs Tanner's arm and leaps up to lock his neck before getting him on the mat with the reverse crucifix armbar.
Wright: The Stars Are Right! It's locked in!
Park: Think fast, Tanner!
Tanner uses his strength to make it over to the ropes. Zolothach doesn't release the hold but he manages to power her off of him. Zolothach keeps him down with stomps, then runs to the opposite ropes and comes back with a baseball slide. Tanner falls to the floor, his knee hitting the thin mat with a thud. He quickly staggers to his feet, obviously injured, and is immediately met with a suicide dive from Zolothach!
Wright: Zolothach is all over Tanner!
Park: I think Tanner hurt his knee. This isn't good.
Tanner falls to a sitting position, holding his knee. Zolothach sees this and goes straight for a reverse crucifix kneebar. Tanner yells out in pain. He curses heavily at Zolothach, tapping his hand on the mat in frustration. Zolothach grins as she watches Tanner suffer.
Wright: She's trying to take Tanner out for good!
Park: Stop it, Zolothach! Enough already!
In the ring, Fizz is yelling at her to "come on!" Zolothach glares at Fizz and eventually lets Tanner go. She climbs into the ring, not breaking eye contact with Fizz.
Wright: We're down to two.
Park: Fizz isn't backing down.
They meet in the middle and Zolothach is first to strike with a punch. The bloody Fizz soaks it up for a minute, then hits back with a more powerful punch. Zolothach staggers Fizz with a thrust kick. Fizz takes Zolothach's head off with a standing lariat.
Wright: Zolothach is finally down!
Park: Fizz needs to end this!
The crowd cheer Fizz on as he lets out a warcry. He waits on Zolothach getting to her feet then grabs her arms for the Mind Eraser. With her arms hooked, he tries to twist her behind him but she resists. It turns into a test of strength, with Zolothach having a slight upper hand.
Wright: Zolothach's too strong for Fizz!
Park: Fizz isn't giving up!
Fizz turns the tide and finally gets her in position for the Mind Eraser. Before he can leap forward, Zolothach pushes him away. Fizz turns to face Zolothach. He goes after her but she boots him in the stomach and starts to lock in a chickenwing. Before it's fully applied, Fizz does a full circle go behind to waistlock Zolothach. He runs up with her to the ropes, then rolls back into an O'Connor roll.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Zolothach kicks out!
The kickout sends Fizz leaping forward. When he turns around Zolothach thrust kicks him in the knee. With Fizz kneeling, Zolothach thrust kicks him in the face. She grabs his arm, locks his neck with her legs and rolls into The Stars Are Right!
Wright: The Stars Are Right!
Park: Right in the middle of the ring! Fizz has got nowhere to go!
The crowd encourages Fizz to hang on. His hand hovers over the mat as he looks desperately at the ropes. He inches very slowly towards them but gives up when the pain overwhelms him. Zolothach shows no sign of letting up the pressure. A look of shock appears on Zolothach's face as the arm she's wrenching starts to overpower her. Zolothach holds on with all her might, sweating profusely.
Wright: Zolothach is burnt out! That Million Dollar Dream almost killed her!
Park: But Fizz hasn't got much left either!
Zolothach sways backwards and forwards as Fizz tries to push her back onto the mat. The crowd cheers as Fizz finally pushes her all the way into a schoolboy position.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Zolothach kicks out!
Free from the hold, Fizz gets to his feet almost out of breath. He looks at Zolothach and waits until she runs at him. He jumps in the air to hit a hurricanrana into a pin.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Zolothach kicks out!
With Zolothach shaken, Fizz quickly gets her in position for the Mind Eraser and hits it! He rolls her over and hooks the leg.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR-NO!
Zolothach gets her shoulder up just in time! Fizz looks at the referee in disbelief. With Fizz on his knees, Tanner suddenly comes limping from behind and clatters into him!
Wright: Tanner's back!
Park: How is he still standing!?
He stomps on Fizz mercilessly with his good left leg but Fizz withstands the blows and makes it to his feet. Tanner rocks Fizz with a huge forearm to the face that sends him staggering away. Tanner limps over and tries to get his head under Fizz's arm for the olympic slam.
Wright: Tanner wants the Swing N' A Miss!
Park: But can he do it on one leg!?
Fizz tries to fight Tanner off, but Tanner finally gets him in position. As he braces himself to lift Fizz, the second's hesitation allows Fizz to grab Tanner's arm and twist him around with a hammerlock. Fizz ends up in position for the Mind Eraser and hits it, sending Tanner's face into the mat! He rolls Tanner over and falls on his chest.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
The referee calls for the bell as the fans cheer like crazy.
Walter Stanford: Here is your winner, and the NNNEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW SPAAAAARK CHAMPIOOOOOONNNNNN, VODDDDDKAAAAAAAAAAAA FIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
Fizz, with dried blood on his face, is out of breath as the referee takes the championship belt and hands it to him.
Wright: Fizz did it! What did I tell you!?
Park: What doesn't kill you does make you stronger. These fans have absolutely lost it!
Fizz takes the belt out of the ring and jumps over the barricade to celebrate with the fans. The camera briefly switches to a shot of Wayne Tanner Jnr. being helped out of the ring by the referee, then back to Fizz high fiving the fans.
Park: Tanner looks badly hurt. Hopefully we see him back in action soon.
Wright: Look at the fans! They're having the time of their lives with the new SPARK Champion!
Mistress Discipline is in the backstage locker room standing in her in-ring finery.
Mistress Discipline: Let me be the first to tell each of you today that I-
Dr. Chaos, Mistress Discipline’s friend and manager, suddenly takes up the screen, having grabbed the camera and pointed it down towards her.
Chaos: That I will have a rematch! Vodka Fizz will NOT get away with this! Wait until you’re in that ring again, my not-friend. Who do you think you are! Calling me a Bi-
Mistress Discipline bodily pulls her more compact friend back from the camera to stand beside her.
Mistress Discipline: Chaos, we agreed to focus on the future.
Chaos: And that future will be Vodka Fizz’s head. On a pike! I demand restitution! Forget all this title nonsense. I want a one-on-one match! How DARE he refer to any woman as a BI-
Mistress Discipline: He may be misinformed but I really do not think you have been medically cleared to be in a wrestling ring… Or properly trained for that matter.
Chaos: What!?! Oh, no. No. You are my champion. Defending my honor and that of all womankind. My Mistress of Discipline and Bringer of Ordered Destruction. Strong enough to ground that Money grubbing, yellow livered bi-
Dr. Chaos is overcome with emotion and steps back towards the camera. She hits the lens with a white glove and then holds it in front of the lens.
Chaos: You got off easy last time, Mister. But I have your number. I demand a rematch. I demand a one-on-one event between Vodka Fizz and Mistress Discipline.
Dr. Chaos drops the white glove.
Chaos: It’s in your corner now, you bi-
Mistress Discipline: I do not condone what he called you but between the two of you, you are the one most closely resembling the definition of a bi-
Chaos: Are you saying that because I’m short?
Mistress Discipline: It is not your vertical proportions that I was referring to.
Chaos: I. BEG. YOUR. PARDON. Q-tine may have been hard on my waistline but-
Mistress Discipline: The word is used to describe… well a bi-
Mistress Discipline steps back as Sarah, Dr. Chaos’s adopted teen daughter, pops up between them holding an emasculator in her left hand. She looks at the camera.
Sarah: Snip! Splash!
Mistress Discipline: What! I did not agree to this reprehensible behavior. Vodka Fizz is not in the right here, but to suggest that we remove his ability to procreate because of it? That goes too far.
Chaos: I agree. Sarah, it’s important to understand how a tool is used and make the correct audible cues. It’s really more of a smash, smash as there will be no blood if you do it correctly. People already poorly understand what castration entails and this isn't helping. Now go put that back as you have NOT been properly trained on how to use the emasculator.
Sarah pulls out a small remote with her right hand and dims the lights then a spotlight illuminates the three women from the ground.
Sarah: Improperly Trained! Cut a bi-
Chaos: No! I get to say it first. Now go put that back.
Sarah laughs maniacally and drops out of screen. The lights return to their previous levels.
Mistress Discipline: The ball is in your court, Vodka Fizz. Do you accept my challenge? Are you prepared to be ON THE BOOKS?
Chaos: Dun, Dun, DA! Though, October may be too soon and we won’t be able to do December with your family commitments. Do you think he’ll be available in November or will this need to wait until the new year?
Mistress Discipline looks over at her manager.
Mistress Discipline: Is it not your job, as my manager, to ensure my competitors will be available to compete? Are you saying he might be all booked up with actual title shots this whole time?
Chaos: Listen. Nobody gets away with calling me a BIMBO! That hideous bimbo has another thing coming his way and it isn’t a bimbo. Bimbo-y bimbo is so bimboed that his bimbo will bimbo. BIMBO!
A robotic whirr is audible before a knock sounds on a nearby door.
Sico: Happy Birthday, Paulie.
Mistress Discipline: I think he has some questions.
Wright: An unusual request, but now with the SPARK Championship wrapped around the shoulders of Fizz, could we see Fizz vs. Discipline for the title?
Park: Those two put on a barnburner last Inferno, I'd love to see it again!
Dylan: You wanna know why I'm coming for this FIRESIDE Battle Royale?
Camera nods up and down.
Dylan: Simple. I am here to learn and observe those in FIRESIDE.
A brief pause, as Dylan lets that sink in, hang in the air.
Dylan: Allow me to make myself clear. I am not here for glory, or titles or fame. Frankly, I don't give a shit about any title FIRESIDE will offer up. What I want, FIRESIDE cannot provide. But what I need for what I want, you will certainly give. So to FIRESIDE, show me exactly what you're made of... and prepare for your annihilation!
The camera cuts abruptly.
Wright: The former X-Crown champion comes to FIRESIDE to... observe?
Park: We know he's looking down the road at a Last Man Standing Match with our owner in a few weeks' time. What does Black have in store tonight?
The fans cheer as 'Time Travel' by Daley hits, and the Time Jumpers come out of the back. Ciela Luiz leading the way, skipping down the ramp with a few waves thrown to the crowd. Behind her follows Makayla Vaden who looks much more like a woman on a mission, checking the tape on her wrists before following Luiz into the ring. They fist bump, heading to their corner as they watch the ramp.
Stanford: Entering the ring at this time, at a combined weight of 235 pounds, hailing from the Near Future! Ceila Luiz! Makayla Vaden! They are the Time Jumpers!
Wright: These fans showing alot of appreciation for the Time Jumpers in this title match!
Park: They have a hard match ahead of them against El BANG! Hermanos, Oliver.
Stanford: And their opponents, weighing in at 489 lbs! They are the reigning Fireside tag team champions! Curtis Kanyon! El El Combatiente! El BANG! Hermanos!
A DJ Marshmello crafted mash up of The Game’s “One Blood” and Metallica's "Don't Tread on Me" plays over the PA as Curtis and El Combatiente emerge from the entryway wearing their Fireside tag team titles. Curtis also has a sledgehammer over one shoulder. El Combatiente's manager Javier follows shortly behind them. They look around soaking up there surrounding. Curtis hoists his hammer into the air. El Combatiente breaks into a full sprint for the ring and slides in. Curtis and Javier slowly walk to ringside and chat. El Combatiente stretches in the ring preparing for the match to begin as Curtis climbs a turnbuckle and points to the crowd with his hammer, then hoists it straight up into the air and yells "BANG!" They glare at the Time Jumpers, clearly ready for a fight as the ref takes the belts.
It looks like Kanyon will start for El BANG! Hermanos. Meanwhile, Makayla takes charge for the Time Jumpers motioning for Luiz to wait on the apron as the ref calls for the bell. Kanyon stomps forward, and Makayla moves forward to meet him cautiously. Kanyon lunges forward, and Vaden steps aside before driving a few swift kicks into the big man's leg. Kanyon stumbles, spinning around to grab at her before Vaden steps aside again. A foot driving hard into his knee to stagger him. The fans cheer, and she runs back to hit the ropes before coming off to hammer a dropkick to Kanyon's head. He falls forward, grabbing himself on his hands as he shook his head. And Vaden wastes no time, hitting the ropes to drop a leg across the back of his shoulders. Kanyon drops, and she goes for the cover.
Wright: Vaden using her speed and high impact offense to gain an early advantage on Kanyon!
Park: She is going to need more than that!
Unjoo is right, and Kanyon flings Vaden off before the one. And comes to his feet with an angry scowl, he grabs Vaden from the mat to haul her upwards before he locks her in the full nelson! He lifts her easily, crashing her back down with a thunderous full nelson slam! The fans boo as Vaden arches her back in pain, rolling across the mat as she reaches for her corner. Kanyon grabs her foot, shaking his head before he lifts her leg to drive her knee down on the mat with a few stomps.
Wright: Kanyon trying to ground the high flyer! Not very sportsmanlike at all!
Park: This is wrestling, Oliver! And there is a championship on the line.
Kanyon scoops Vaden back up, shoving her towards the ropes. Unseen by the Fireside Tag Team Champion, Luiz makes the blind tag! And Vaden is sent sprawling by a huge clothesline, he makes the cover! The ref shakes his head, and Kanyon looks up confused before being kicked in the face by Viva La Familia (Shining Wizard) by Luiz. The fans cheer, and Kanyon looks dazed as he reaches up to make a tag to El Combatiente. The masked Superstar wastes no time, leaping across the ropes to come up in a roll that catches the turning Luiz with a clothesline. The fans boo, and El Combatiente lifts her up again before he sends her crashing down with a snap suplex.
Park: Luiz is going to have trouble using her speed against El Combatiente, Oliver. El BANG! Hermanos are back in control of this match!
Wright: I wouldn't count out the Time Jumpers just yet! These fans are willing them onward, and that energy counts for something!
El Combatiente reaches downward, grabbing Luiz by the head to pull her upwards before she came to life. Grabbing his arm to pull him downwards, forcing him into a roll before making the quick roll up! The fans cheer as her feet kick as she pushes forward, and the ref dives for the count!
...ONE...
Kickout!
El Combatiente kicks out, and comes up back on the attack. But Luiz steps back, throwing a kick before catching him with the Enzuguri! The fans pop, and she claps her hands as she feeds off that energy before she runs back to bounce off the ropes! Another Shining Wizard, and El Combatiente is down again!
Wright: LUIZ IS IN THIS FIGHT! THE TIME JUMPERS ARE NOT GIVING UP!
Luiz dives to make the tag, and Vaden climbs the turnbuckle.
Park: Vaden is set up for the Miller's Tale! This could be it!
Oliver: Could be it? We are about to have new champions!
Makayla Vaden launches into the air, spinning as she falls towards the prone El Combatiente but he rolls out of the way at the last minute. The fans let out a sigh as she crashes down on the empty mat, sprawling as Luiz holds out her hand for the tag. El Combatiente is back on his feet, running at the ropes to send Luiz to the outside before he comes with a huge double stomp on Vaden.
Wright: El Combatiente wasting no time here, pressing the advantage! He knocked Luiz to the outside, denying Vaden the tag!
Park: Clearly an accident, Oliver!
El Combatiente dives across the ring, making the quick tag to Kanyon. The big man comes through the ropes, crouching down in the corner as he motions for Vaden to rise. The fans booing as she slowly rolls to her feet, holding her shoulder as she looks up. But it is too late, as the fans roar "BANG!".
Wright: Oh my God! Oh my God! Vaden has been cut in half!
Makayla Vaden sprawls on the mat, clearly out cold as Kanyon hauls her towards the middle before he makes the cover with a smirk.
...ONE...
...TWO...
...THRE-
And Luiz dives off the ropes, breaking the count as the fans go wild!
Park: Luiz breaks the count!
Luiz grabs for her friend's hand as she draws herself back to her knees, and Kanyon is clearly furious as he rises to his feet. He grabs her by the hair, ignoring the ref before he sits her up for the World Breaker! The fans boo, as Luiz crashes down on the mat in a broken sprawl before Kanyon rolls her to the outside with a thump. He shakes his head, and stomps on Vaden a few times before he makes the tag to El Combatiente.
Wright: This is uncalled for! The Time Jumpers are out cold!
Park: You shouldn't make a man like the Real F'n Deal angry!
El Combatiente leaps onto the turnbuckle, lifting his arms to the crowd before he launches himself into the air for the 630 senton! He crashes down on Vaden, and hooks the leg making the cover as Kanyon counts with the ref! The crowd booing loudly!
...ONE...
...TWO...
...THREE!!!!
Stanford: The winners of this match and STILL the Fireside tag Team Champions.... BANG! HERMANOS!
Wright: A good match for a very game Time Jumpers! It wasn't their night, but they certainly have a bright future ahead of them.
Park: They put up a good effort, but the BANG! Hermanos continue on their path of Tag Team Domination!
In the hallway of the arena, Sinclair Godfrey leans against the wall staring down at her phone. She stares at it, thumbs moving to quickly text something as the door bangs open. Donzig emerges, hand lifting to adjust his mask as he glances around the hall before he tucks a folded bit of paper inside of his coat. A glance over his shoulder, and he jerks his head for Sinclair to follow.
Sinclair: It seems that went well.
She stated, and Donzig grunted.
Donzig: Washington is pleasant enough.
Donzig sniffed under his mask, and Sinclair arched a brow. After all Donzig felt dealing with people was tedious and beneath him, so that was about as good as it was going to get. The pair swept down the hallway, and Donzig shook his head as hand lifted once more to brush his temple. It was clear something was on his mind, and she waited until his gaze settled on her again.
Sinclair: He called again, wants you to call him back.
Sinclair held up her phone with a shrug as Donzig glared at her. He hissed, head tilting before he shrugged his leather clad shoulders. He waved his hand dismissively, walking onward without a word. He lifted a hand, brushing his temple as he looked around the hall with a grunt. He seemed distracted, and she didn't like that. Donzig was normally focused before a match, especially a battle royal like this one.
Donzig: I will call him back, I have to determine the lay of the land. We need to find out who the players are, who are the threats.
Donzig growled, and he paused as a hand lifted to stroke his chin through the mask. He tilted his head, sniffing before he shrugged again. Sinclair brushed her hair back from her face, and looked around the hall as well. What could be distracting him.
Sinclair: Ah, Drake.
A hiss, and Donzig turned on her with a step forward. His shoulders squared up, and his hand lifted to jab a finger at her.
Donzig: This has nothing to do with him! We are here for business, Godfrey. And you would do well to remember it! Do you think I would come the entire way to---
Donzig paused, and he waved his hand around the hall.
Donzig: Philadelphia to check up on a man who rejected everything I ever taught him! A man who turned his back on me to hide in a fucking bottle, eh? You think that! No, no, no! I am here for a higher purpose, to break them all on the shores of Oblivion!
Sinclair nodded, and shrugged before she absently checked her nails before looking up into the empty gaze of the mask. Donzig stared back at her, and finally he threw his hands up before he spun on his heel to storm off down the hall. Sinclair followed after him with a smirk, absently pulling out her phone again.
Wright: What does it all mean?
Park: We'll find out coming up next!
A hearse abruptly parks near the entrance of The Hearth. A relatively tall man in a sharp white suit exits the passenger side and stretches his legs, but he's quickly overshadowed by the huge individual who was driving. This person is wearing long black pants, a matching vest, and a pair of sunglasses as dark as black holes. A few fans in the area are all pointing in their direction and asking among themselves if they recognize the two as they stride into the arena. A cameraman gets in their way and is initially brushed off, but the appearance of Sico the robot piques their interest enough to halt.
Sico: Now just wait a moment, this event is for Fireside wrestlers only, and that man is from...
Sico raises an arm toward the bigger man, but the suited one grabs the microphone away from the robot. He gives Sico a double take before speaking to the camera.
Suited Man: How kitsch. Let me introduce myself. My name is Isaiah Zepp...
Sico: Return my microphone this instance. I recognize the name Zepp, and that behemoth is...
Isaiah pivots away from Sico to continue addressing the camera. The taller man stands with his arms folded.
Isaiah Zepp: This 'behemoth' was recently the hottest free agent in the Network. He's seven feet of unmovable granite! A volcano of violence and viciousness! The most Cosmic pirate in the galaxy! And he is my brother - EDWARD ZEPP!
Fans continue to gather around the scene as security tries to keep everything copacetic. Edward remains stoically still.
Sico: I know who Ed Zepp is, but why are you here?... You said 'was' a free agent?
Isaiah sarcastically looks up at his 'little' brother and produces some paperwork from his breast pocket. He unfolds it for the camera.
Isaiah Zepp: Oh indeed, my bucket of bolts. Signed sealed and delivered. Fireside is about to get a a lot more fiery, and that starts tonight!
The crowd lets out a mix of oohs and rabbles. Suddenly another man moves to the front, with a notepad and pen. The Zepp brothers know him as Dig Deeper and seem annoyed by his presence. As he begins to ask questions, Sico also seems frazzled.
Deeper: My sources were correct that you'd show up in Fireside tonight, Mr. Zepp! How long was this in the works? And is it also true that Tabitha Osborne played a part your arrival?
Isaiah Zepp: Dig, did you come here just to sell your dirt sheet subscriptions?
Deeper: Don't forget the thousands of hours of podcasts, for the low price of...
Finally, Edward Zepp raises an open palm over the man's face, and keeps it there for seemingly an infinity. With all the air out of the room, his voice carries like a heavy tremor.
Ed Zepp: You talk too much.
Ed lowers his sunglasses and looks to the camera to reveal a steely slate gaze of tempered anger.
Ed Zepp: Fireside, you are not ready.
He tosses the keys to Isaiah.
Ed Zepp: This won't take long.
The Zepp brothers exchange a fist bump as Edward stalks out of view.
Sico: I'll try to regain some semblance of control back here, but it seems Edward Zepp has signed with Fireside, and he's heading toward the ring for the Battle Royal!
Wright: Oh my! This Edward Zepp is a giant!
Park: And he's about to make his debut!
Stanford: The following contest is the Pick Your Prize Battle Royale! Every competitor will start in the ring at the same time, and begin eliminating opponents by throwing them out over the top rope with both feet touching the floor! The last wrestler still eligible in the match receives any prize like they’d like, up to a FIRESIDE World Championship Match!
The crowd cheers loudly!
Wright: Big, big stakes tonight here. Survive everyone else and you get to sign on the dotted line and name your prize.
Park: It’s a big opportunity and we’ve seen a collection of faces announce their intentions tonight, this should be a good one!
Stanford: Introducing first, from Raleigh, North Carolina, weighing 200 pounds, she is MISTRESSSSSSSS DISSSSSSSCIPLINEEEEEE!
"The Planets Op. 32: IV. Jupiter- Bringer of Jollity" by Gustav Holst begins to play on the arena speakers. The lights dim slightly and a spotlight appears on the stage. Mistress Discipline steps onto the stage and adjusts the high collar and neckline of her trademark blue blouse. She marches to the ring with a purpose and without glasses because she wears contacts into the ring so she can see. She rolls into the ring and adjusts her trademark hair buns. She steps into the corner and begins stretching her arms while awaiting her opponents (she will not be bending over).
Wright: Discipline wants vengeance on our new SPARK champion, Vodka Fizz, after he called her some unsavory names, UnJoo.
Park: It goes further than that. They were both in that triple threat match, and both cost each other the world title at different points. I’m sure she’d love to get even.
Stanford: Introducing next, from Belfast, Northern Ireland, weighing 223 pounds, he is ‘Reckless Jack’ BRAAAAAAD KAAAAAAAANEE!
The opening strains of “The Hero” by Amon Amarth begin. Once the song really begins, “Reckless Jack” Brad Kane steps out from the back. Sure he looks a bit dead but give him a break. Kane walks to the ring some metalheads headbang because it’s Amon Amarth. RJBK enters the squared circle and stretches using the ropes.
Wright: Speaking of revenge and getting even, Brad wants a shot at his brother Spike. I’m told that the winner can’t quite request an X-Crown match, but a battle of the Kanes sounds very intriguing.
Park: We just got Brad, we just got Spike not too much earlier, it’d be a shame to have to put one back in the ground, but Brad is determined.
Stanford: Introducing third, from Houston, Texas, weighing 160 pounds, they are SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM SAWWWWWWWWWYEEEEEEEERR!
The arena lights dim as a bassline begins to play. While a silver mist slowly fills the stage, the fans wait in anticipation. A deep voice starts singing in a whisper. Then, a dark figure walks through the mist. Completely decked out in black, the teenager slowly walks forward. The camera mostly keeps its distance. Different angles give a better look, but their face is still mostly obscured in darkness. After climbing the steps and entering the ring, the volume of the music increases.
"I hear the sons of the city and dispossessed
Get down, get undressed
Get pretty but you and me
We got the kingdom, we got the key
We got the empire, now as then
We don't doubt, we don't take direction"
The mist has thinned but the arena is still dark. The song quietens down.
"Lucretia, my reflection, dance the ghost with me"
Then reaches its loud finale. The lights come back on and the fans cheer. The camera focuses on Sam Sawyer's cold, glaring face.
Wright: Sam Sawyer got screwed out of the X-Crown, quite literally. One of the greatest performances of their young career, and coming up just a bit short.
Park: Will they be able to redeem themselves tonight and take home the W? They won the Crown match in a multi-person match just like this, it might be a specialty of theirs!
Stanford: Introducing fourth, from Carlisle, Cubmria, weighing 253 pounds, he is GAAAAAVINNNNN DRAAAAAAKE!
The crowd reacts as the bastard son of nobility makes his way down to ringside, already looking discontent. He sets his eyes up the ramp and ignores everyone else as he waits, knowing who else is in this match.
Wright: Gavin Drake already has a SPARK championship match lined up, but they’re now trying to earn an even bigger prize tonight.
Park: But standing in his way will be his long-term mentor, among others. Will they work together or go their separate ways?
Stanford: Introducing fifth, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, he is ‘The Scourge’, weighing 215 pounds, they are DONZZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGG!
The light go down, and then come up an angry red. Flames explode from the eithr side of the ramp, jets and bursts of flame erupting into the air. Donzig walks from the back, wearing his skull mask with his hood up. He pauses, glaring out across the crowd before he shakes his head before walking down the ramp slowly. He circles around the ring, still watching the crowd before pausing to watch the announce team before he climbs the stairs. He stops at the ropes, reaching up to shove his hood back before stepping through the ropes. Then he takes off the mask, and shakes his head at the fans with a scowl before he leans back in his corner, arms resting on the ropes while waiting for the match to start.
Wright: Donzig is currently one of the hottest free agents on the market, do you think he’s putting down roots here with this match?
Park: I don’t know if it’s so much about roots rather than establishing control. I don’t know if he’d be here tonight if Drake wasn’t in this contest. We’ll see.
Stanford: Introducing sixth, from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, weighing 250 pounds, he is FEEEELLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!
The lights go out as his music starts, the stage completely black. As his music picks up a spotlight shines down onto Felix, who is facing away from the ring so the camera can focus on the intricate tattoo of a wolf in the Oriental style. He turns as the camera moves back, a string of Buddist Mala Beads around his neck, his eyes focusing on the ring as spotlights roam over the crowd. He heads down the ramp, the spotlight following him, bowing his head to any of his fans that have signs or are kids on the way down to the ring. As he arrives at ringside his eyes snap back to Donzig, keeping locked on them as he gets into the ring. He gives the crowd a short bow, the Classic Palm to Fist before settling into his fighting stance as the lights return to normal.
Wright: Felix is here from NLW tonight, and man, do you think he was shocked to find out Donzig was also in the building?
Park: He’s the closest thing the XHF has to a zen warrior, but he’s been out of wack lately, full of anger after his contest against the Scourge. Will he be able to reign it and ball out or will this new-found anger get the better of him?
Stanford: Introducing seventh, from Boston, Massachussets, weighing 218 pounds, he is DYLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAN BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKK!
“A SPECIAL PLACE IN HEEEEEEEE-E-E-E-ELLLLLL!"
The lights flash green as the riffs to Reid Henry’s hit new single hits the PA system, uplifting and electric! The curtains between the wrestling word and gorilla open up and Dylan pushes his way through them! He pauses, posing for the crowd before strolling down the ramp ever so casually.
Announcer: And making his way to the ring, from Boston Massachusetts! Standing at 6'3" and weighing in at 218 pounds, he is “The Messiah of Mayhem,” DYLAAAAAAAAAAN BLAAAAAAAAAACK!
Dylan rolls under the bottom ropes and holds his hands up in the ring, creating a small lightning arc! He gestures in the boos from those in attendance and just gives off the biggest smirk before he slinks into his corner, ignoring the booing crowd yelling at him to go home.
Wright: Dylan Black is here to-- to scout, apparently.
Park: He’s one of the greatest X-Crown champions of all time. He can do whatever he wants, though these Caffrey fans are letting him hear it.
Stanford: Introducing eighth, from Raleigh, North Carolina, weighing 252 pounds, please welcome back, BUCKYYYYYYYYY ‘TITAAAAAANIUM’ KNIIIIGHT!
The crowd cheers as "Dead Man's Hand" plays. Bucky stands out and gives the crowd a "WELLL HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW--------DDDDDDDDYYYYYY" before heading to the ring.
Wright: Bucky! A FIRESIDE original, back in the Hearth tonight.
Park: I honestly thought he was dead!
Stanford: Introducing ninth, from San Diego, California, weighing in at 299 pounds, he is EDWAAARDDD ZEPPPPPPP!
The menacing synth and deliberate drums of "Blood Moon" by Dance With The Dead signals the arrival of Ed Zepp, who stalks toward the ring with a look of annoyance that's obvious even through his pair of dark sunglasses. He bounds up to the apron with one step and over the top rope with another, then briefly points a fist to the crowd around him.
Wright: Whoah, look at this dude! He’s huge!
Park: How the hell are you gonna throw that guy over the ropes?
Stanford: And finally, please welcome entrant #10…
"REGRETS I'VE HAD MINE!"
The lights in the arena explode to life as they flash green and black to the beat as Steve Awesome comes running out with intensity to the hyped up chorus of "Full of Regrets" by Danko Jones.
Stanford: ...from Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 238 pounds, he is ‘The Face of the Franchise’, Steve AWWWWWWESSSSSSSSSSSSOMEEEEE!
Wright: What’s Awesome doing out here? He’s wrestling next in the electric cage match!
Park: I have no idea!
Lonely nights/ and a whole lot of wasted time!
If you see her wont you tell her for me/
It's better this way to avoid all the misery
The chorus plays again as Steve walks down to the ring. The guitar starts soloing and Steve hops into the ring and he provocatively slips off his jacket and then spins and drops into a kneel and he flexes his arms. He gets a slow motion effect as pyro sprays behind him.
Wright: Well, Steve makes ten! Ten wrestlers, you’re eliminated when both of your feet hit the floor, last wrestler standing walks out with a prize of their choice!
Park: This should be chaos!
The bell rings and the prediction almost immediately becomes true. It is indeed chaos. It is a collection of fisticuffs and kicks as the field gathers around and starts trying to turn each other into paste. Towering above the crowd is Edward Zepp, the 7’0” newcomer who Bucky ‘Titanium’ Knight makes the mistake of striking from behind. Zepp does not appreciate the gesture and wraps a hand around Knight’s throat.
Wright: That might have been a mistake!
Park: Uh-oh!
Knight is lifted in a choke, and as he’s coming down, Zepp delivers a vicious lariat on the way down!
Wright: He calls that the Mute Button!
Park: It’s easy to see why! I think Knight might be out cold!
‘Reckless Jack’ Brad Kane checks that Edward Zepp isn’t going to eat him if he touches Bucky, but Zepp is already dealing with an onslaught of punches from a few of the other wrestlers in the match. Kane grabs Bucky by the back of his neck and dumps him over the ropes, and he crashes straight down onto the floor.
Stanford: Bucky ‘Titanium’ Knight has been eliminated!
Wright: Thanks for coming back, Bucky!
Park: Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!
The camera cuts over to Steve Awesome, the curiosity of the fans peaked as he literally does have an electric cage match right after this. It becomes clear that he has set his sights on Dylan Black, and if he were to pick a prize, it would probably be to keep beating up Black. Steve throws Black across the ring with such force in his belly-to-belly suplex that Black actually knocks into Mistress Discipline and almost sends her out of the ring!
Wright: Steve looks like a man on a mission in there!
Park: These two keep meeting like this!
Black makes it back up to his feet and manages to get his knee up as Awesome runs in, striking back with the running bicycle knee strike known as the Disasterpiece!
Wright: Disasterpiece! Black wanted none of that and made sure Steve knew!
Park: That’ll stop Awesome’s momentum dead in its tracks!
Black has to fight off another wrestler clocking him from behind, trying to make their name at his expense as he slowly but surely gets Awesome back up to his feet. Awesome responds by dropping him with the superkick known as the Jaw Breaker!
Wright: Jaw Breaker! These two could fight forever!
Park: It looks like they may at this point!
Awesome hasn’t quite gotten all of the Jaw Breaker as Black is left stumbling on his feet rather than unconscious on the mat. The Face of the Franchise grabs Black and looks to irish whip him into the corner, but somehow Black manages to counter, whipping Awesome into the opposing corner instead! Only Awesome isn’t quite ready to get whipped into the corner, instead as he quickly scales the ropes in a fluid motion for the Awesome Sault, only to be shoved to the floor by Black!
Stanford: Steve Awesome has been eliminated!
Wright: Ooh! That’s why you don’t go top rope in a match like this!
Park: An embarrassing finish for Awesome, but you have to think Kanyon’s happy he didn’t end up worse for wear ahead of their cage match with Five and Divine! Misha and Five would destroy him if he came in injured!
Black waves goodbye to the sucker as the crowd boos him. Awesome is slow to get back up to his feet after the top rope tumble, but once he does you can see he’s clearly upset by how things have turned out. Black turns around into one of the loudest pops of the night as he’s struck with a hard slap that inspires the crowd and Oliver to yell two words at the same time!
Wright: Get Fucked!
Park: You’re a little too excited to shout that into a microphone every Inferno!
Sam Sawyer gets Black back up and throws him into the ropes, meeting him where he stands with a lariat that knocks the former X-Crown champion up and over the ropes, with both feet hitting the floor! The crowd approves!
Stanford: Dylan Black has been eliminated!
Wright: That’s huge!
Park: Ahead of their match with Thespian at End of Days, one of FIRESIDE’s bright competitors just eliminated the former X-Crown champion!
Wright: That’s huge!
Sawyer realizes immediately they can’t take a moment to celebrate as Mistress Discipline grapples them and begins working on trying to get them over the ropes. The action pushes further into the corner, where Felix has finally gotten free of the competition to straight up start throwing palm strikes left and right at Donzig. Surprisingly or not, Gavin Drake gives Felix a wide berth here as a pissed-off Donzig stops the assault for a few moments by DDTing his opponent straight into the mat.
Wright: I don’t know if the meds are working, but throwing strikes like that could certainly help!
Park: Right up until he got spiked into the mat like that!
Donzig makes it back to his feet and immediately shoves Gavin Drake, angry at the lack of help in dealing with his enemy. Drake looks down at being shoved and gives Donzig a look that very clearly indicates not to do that again. Donzig backs off, and Drake grabs Felix, throwing him down hard with a german suplex.
Wright: Are these two working together?
Park: It seems to be more like working adjacently.
Drake turns his attention to Mistress Discipline, who has gotten the upper hand of Sam Sawyer for now. Drake throws a lariat in her direction, but Discipline efficiently takes the arm and in one swoop locks him into a gogoplata!
Wright: Naughty Child!
Park: That’s one way to weaken up your opponents, choke the everloving life out of them until they pass out! It’s hard to stay in the ring when you’re unconscious!
Gavin Drake looks out to Donzig for some kind of support, but before Donzig can even think about helping, ‘Reckless’ Jack Brad Kane is on him in a heartbeat! Kane throws a spinning backfist, knocking Donzig down to the mat with a furious impact!
Wright: BK Backfist!
Park: Put Donzig out to pasture with a move like that!
Drake is still trapped in the Naughty Child, screaming in pain and trying to find his way out of the hold. There are no rope breaks in a match like this, and his only saving grace actually comes in the form of the giant Edward Zepp lifting up both competitors in a show of Herculean strength! The crowd pops!
Wright: What the hell?
Park: Good God, man!
Zepp slams both wrestlers down to the mat with authority. It becomes real obvious to the other wrestlers in the match that this might be a guy worth putting aside differences to get rid of, but not before Zepp slams down Brad Kane with a claw slam!
Wright: The Re-animator!
Park: Look at the power!
Felix has gotten back up and looks to unload on Donzig again, but Sam Sawyer cuts him off, staring a dagger into him and gesturing towards the bigger Zepp. Felix can feel that there’s something to this and puts the anger aside for the moment, the two wrestlers looking at the big man in the ring. Sawyer draws the attention of Zepp, stomping on his foot and beginning a bout of improvised rough fighting. With Zepp distracted, Felix comes in and takes the big man’s head, pulling it down for a series of knee strikes!
Wright: Look at these two working together!
Park: Teamwork makes the dream work!
Felix swings a bicycle knee strike into Zepp, knocking him down!
Wright: He calls that Uchi-Sute!
Park: Is it enough to get Zepp up and over?
Felix and Sam Sawyer begin to work together to pick Zepp off the mat, only to be attacked from behind by Donzig and Gavin Drake! The pair work adjacently in taking advantage of their distracted rivals, hitting ruthless strikes in tandem as they’ve done in the past. Donzig seems to be taking extra pleasure out of working Felix, and begins to set up for the 25:17!
Wright: If Donzig connects with this, you could call it a night for Felix!
Park: He’d love to get even here!
Donzig turns Felix around and hooks the arms, but Felix shoves him out into the waiting arms of Brad Kane, who nails him with a discus big boot!
Wright: Dead Set!
Park: Goodnight Donzig! Yikes that hit hard!
Kane gets back to his feet, only to be distracted by Drake attacking him too! This leaves Donzig still open though, and Mistress Discipline is quick to lift him up for the sitout powerbomb, then planting him straight onto the floor!
Wright: Expulsion! Discipline just expelled Donzig from this match!
Park: We don’t see power from Mistress like that too often! That was ruthlessly efficient!
Stanford: Donzig has been eliminated!
Wright: It looked like Drake was trying to save Donzig there, but the veteran got in to finish the job!
Park: Can she take care of him next?
Mistress goes to throw her own knee strike into Drake, but Drake catches the knee and lifts Discipline up, running and planting her straight back down with a running powerslam!
Wright: London Bridge!
Park: It’s all going down now!
Drake gets back up and looks to eliminate Mistress, but is caught from behind by an enziguri from Felix, knocking him up and over the ropes! He barely manages to hang on!
Wright: Drake’s almost out!
Park: He’s right near Donzig, Donzig could save him!
Drake turns and sees Donzig, but right as he turns around, he’s pounced into his former mentor as a flying Edward Zepp crashes into him, sending him to the floor!
Stanford: Gavin Drake has been eliminated!
Wright: I can’t believe Zepp can move like that!
Park: Just a human trainwreck there!
Donzig turns on a dime and leaves Drake behind, heading to the back.
Wright: I’m still not entirely sure of what we’re seeing between these two.
Park: It might just be nothing?
Five competitors left almost quickly becomes four as Brad Kane pops Sam Sawyer up and over the ropes, but Sawyer hangs on, wildly flailing with the top rope. Kane rears back to throw another discus big boot, only to be caught by a shotei from Felix! Felix grabs Kane and pops him over the ropes, then kicks his hands away as he tries to hang on, dropping him to the floor!
Stanford: Brad Kane has been eliminated!
Wright: We’re done to four!
Park: Spike Kane is safe for now!
Sawyer, Felix, Discipline, and Zepp remain. Felix goes to eliminate Sawyer, but Sawyer gestures back towards the big man, and the group realizes they really have to do something about him before he picks them all off. Zepp is game for the moment, gesturing for them to bring it as the crowd roars and a one-on-three breaks out, followed by Zepp powering out of the beatdown!
Wright: Jeez!
Park: What’s it gonna take?
Sawyer recovers from being pushed around and charges Zepp, looking to take him down with the Fire with Fire, only to be launched over the ropes to crash down on Brad Kane!
Stanford: Sam Sawyer has been eliminated!
Wright: Look at the air Sam got on that one!
Park: The impressive rookie has been eliminated by another impressive rookie!
We’re down to three with Felix, Discipline, and Zepp all looking at one another. Discipline nods at Felix, who almost seems to sacrifice himself as he locks up Zepp, especially as Zepp goes to lift them up for a chokeslam, but it’s just enough time for Discipline to deliver a bicycle knee strike, knocking Zepp over the ropes!
Wright: Final Bell! Zepp’s on the apron!
Park: This is their chance!
The crowd roars as Felix and Discipline put boots to Zepp and push with every ounce of being they can, causing him to fall and to the floor!
Stanford: Edward Zepp has been eliminated!
Wright: Edward Zepp’s been eliminated!
Park: An impressive debut, but the numbers were too much for him!
The crowd buzzes at the fresh match-up in the ring between two stars. The two reset their positions, with Felix extending a respectful bow towards Mistress. She returns the favor, and the fight is on. Both initially throw bicycle knees, but they collide and both go down at the same time!
Wright: Will it be the NLW or the FIRESIDE star?
Park: Only one of them can pick their prize!
Both struggle to get back to their feet, exhausted after an intense match, with Discipline and Felix both using opposing ropes to help themselves back up. They get back up in almost unison with dueling chants in the arena. Discipline ducks a high kick and gets behind, looking for the dunce Cap, but Felix throws an elbow, grabbing the now turned-around Discipline and looking over at the ropes!
Wright: Could Felix be about to put this one away?
Park: This one might be about to be over!
Felix falls backwards, sending Discipline out over the ropes with a modified version of the Chimera-Plex! Discipline’s feet hit the floor and the crowd cheers! The bell rings!
Wright: It is!
Park: Felix wins his FIRESIDE debut!
Stanford: Here is your winner, getting to pick his prize, FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!
Wright: Discipline and the rest of the field were game tonight but Felix dug down just a little deeper and got it done!
Park: I guess someone we’ll be pulling double duty a little around here! Congratulations!
Felix has his arm raised by the referee. He looks around, finally taking a deep breath, thrilled that this battle is over.[/img]
Oliver Wright: What an amazing night that we have been having so far!
Unjoo Park: Match after match, moment after moment. Everyone tonight at Burn It Down has been giving it their all, whether you love them or hate them.
Oliver Wright: It only begs the question, what can POSSIBLY come nex-
Are you ready?
The crowd erupts into immediate fanfare as they hear the vocalist of Alice Nine's recognizable whisper before the guitars kick off. RAINBOWS begins playing as the Shining Star, MYOJIN steps from the curtains- a small smile on their face as they look around the audience.
Oliver Wright: IT'S MYOJIN! THE FORMER X*CROWN CHAMPION IS BACK FOR THE FIRST TIME IN NEARLY A MONTH!
Unjoo Park: AND THEY HAVEN'T SKIPPED A BEAT!
The blonde begins walking down the ramp, taking their time as they soak in the positive reception at their return. MYOJIN then picks up speed, dashing down to the squared circle while giving many fans high fives along the way. They stop at the steel steps, taking one more good look before walking up and climbing into the ring.
Quickly gesturing for a mic, one is rolled into the ring and they pick it up without hesitation. Raising it up to their lips, their pretty smile only brightens.
MYŌJIN: Let's not waste any time, shall we? Did you all happen to miss me?
The fans roar in confirmation, the blonde simply nods their head. MYOJIN takes a deep breath, their grin growing more heartfelt and genuine.
MYŌJIN: Well, I missed you sweethearts too. I'm truly flattered! Have you been enjoying the show tonight?
Another roar. MYOJIN shakes their head.
MYŌJIN: Hold on, you must've not heard me. I saaaaaid ARE YOU ENJOYING THE SHOW TONIGHT?
A louder, energetic pop is given. The Shining Star claps with the microphone in hand.
MYŌJIN: That's better! It's been a while, hasn't it? It's been a while since I've made a XHF appearance in general, much less one in FIRESIDE- and I do hope that you all can understand why… As you can guess, healing up from getting stabbed in the abdomen takes some time.
Their expression darkens a little as the crowd begins booing at the memory of the moment where MYOJIN lost the X*Crown Championship.
MYŌJIN: Yeah, I'm not very pleased about that either- I let myself down that night. Sure, it could be said that there was an unfair advantage- which there was. Sure, I was cheated out of my title- which I, again, was. But I don't do excuses. I lost- I have to live with that, and in due time- know that I will return the favor to the shitstains that are New Money- but I'm getting ahead of myself.
MYŌJIN: You're probably all wondering what I've been doing since I've been gone. Well… I've been watching. Paying attention. Seeing how things have been going during my hiatus- and I admittedly had been worried that FIRESIDE and XHF would forget me. But between that warm welcome back you darlings just gave me, Misha Constantine making it clear that I still live in his head rent free, and some XHF members name dropping me- It seems I haven't been forgotten at all.
MYŌJIN grinned once more as the crowd reacted to the few jabs they gave. They leaned forward against the ropes, still holding their mic in their hand.
MYŌJIN: And while I've been gone, it seems that fresher talent- newer faces have been coming around. So, I thought- why not tonight? Why not return to the sport I love so dearly? Why not finally dust myself up and dive back into the chaos that is professional wrestling?
MYŌJIN: I didn't find any reason not to, obviously. So I'm here. I'm here and I'm READY to get my hands dirty again… But, I'll be honest with you all- I didn't want to enter the Pick Your Prize Battle Royale.
A few disappointed boos rang out as MYOJIN huffed their chest.
MYŌJIN: I know, I know- but I don't want to steal any chances for big opportunities that could go to people that have BEEN here, working their asses off. That's not in my nature. I'm not here to skip the line… I'm here to start at the bottom again. A fresh, clean slate- a new beginning, a rebirth- any other cliche phrases for starting anew. I'm not competing tonight- but who knows? Maybe I'll be on the next Inferno. We'll see.
The crowd's anticipation grew as MYOJIN brought the microphone closer to their lips.
MYŌJIN: Okay, I won't keep you in suspense. I will be competing again as soon as possible, that I swear. Until then? Have a great night!
The crowd begins cheering once more as MYOJIN drops the mic as they wave around, while RAINBOWS begins playing again. They climb up the top turnbuckle, pointing around to the audience before hopping down- heading back up the ramp with a triumphant fist in the air.
Wright: Welcome back MYOJIN!
Park: Welcome-- but did you see they kind of stepped on Felix's toes there? What's with that?
Stanford: The following match up is the Short Circuit Tag Team Cage Match, scheduled for one fall, is for the XHF TAG TEEEEAAAM CHAAAMPIONSHIIIPS!
Wright: This is certainly going to be a hair raising experience.
Park: The pun games begin, it’s definitely going to be a shocker!
Stanford: Introducing first, a combined weighing 400 pounds, they are Johnny Five and Misha Constantine, FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEEE ANDDDD DIVINEEEEEEE!
The lights cut out. Drumbeat and piano chords begin as a ring of fire forms in the entrance way. Amidst the flames rise the forms of Johnny Five and an armour-clad Misha Constantine. As the guitar of 'Swallowing The Rabbit Whole' kick in pyro erupts and the flames gutter out. The two walk down to the ring; Johnny flexing and jawing with fans as Misha remains laser focused on the ring. Johnny jumps to the apron and holds the ropes open for Misha to step through, before climbing the turnbuckles and posing, while Misha hits the hidden catches in the armour to have it drop off, ignoring the fans all the while.
Wright: Five and Divine selected this match, you have to wonder if there's nerves going in.
Park: Nerves? You can't be nervous for a war, Oliver. These two teams have battled for months now. Tonight it ends.
Stanford: And their opponents, weighing in at a presidential sum, they are the XHF Tag Team Champions, Steve Awesome and Curtis Kanyon, Team BANG BROSSSSSSSSSSSS!
The lights in the arena explode to life as they flash red, white, and blue to the beat of the opening riffs of “American Males” by Jimmy Hart plays over the P.A. Curtis Kanyon and Steve Awesome emerge from the entryway wearing matching sequined leather jackets. Curtis is also carrying his trusty sledgehammer over his shoulder. Curtis and Steve high five and then head down to the ring. Curtis rolls in to the ring and heads to a corner. Steve hops into the ring and he provocatively slips off his jacket and then spins and drops into a kneel and he flexes his arms. At the same time, Curtis hoists his hammer into the air and yells “BANG!” They both get a slow motion effect as pyro sprays behind them.
Wright: Both of these men have already been in matches tonight, how do you think that will affect them in this one?
Park: Kanyon has to deal with that and knowing Five has his number, pinning him last Inferno. I wouldn't wanna be Awesome if they come up short and Kanyon finds out about his affair with Dylan Black, though.
As the four men begin to prepare for the match, the referee’s on the outside give each other the thumbs up, and the power switch is turned on. Immediately there are a few sparks from the cage itself, as the current runs through it. The four competitors each jump a little as the crowd “oooh” before it builds into a deafening roar.
Park: I for one would not want to be in a match like this, any slight mis-step will result in thousands of volts of electricity pumping through you.
As the roar does build the four men in the ring all turn and notice each other, the electricity in the air humming, and like a gun shot they charge each other. Misha storms at Steve while Johnny and Curtis charge each other too. The four men begins to throw wild shots at each other, punches, chops, kicks to the side, then almost in stereo as Misha whips Steve into one side of the cage, Kanyon whips Johnny Five into the other.
Park: Kanyon made it clear that Johnny’s victory over him got under his skin. It’s no surprise they are going head to head.
Wright: Meanwhile the Face of the Franchise is determined to make his name heard.
Both men slam into the cage walls and receive a bit of a shock, causing them to stagger and fall to the ground. Kanyon and Constantine turn to face each other and immediately begin to tee off. Misha hits Curtis with a swift kick to the side, Kanyon swings with a powerful lariat, but Misha ducks underneath. As Kanyon mis-steps he tries to turn around and is met with a leaping forearm from Constantine. As Misha staggers Kanyon, he begins to build up some steam, when BANG! Almost out of nowhere, and sweet desperation Curtis nails Constantine, and both men lay in the middle of the ring trying to catch their breath.
Park: If this were any other match type, this match could well and truly be over.
Wright: Well it isn’t, and it’s not! It’s going to take more than a BANG! To get this one in the bag.
In one corner Steve has positioned himself, while Johnny is dragging himself to his feet in his corner. He sees the situation, and seeing Steve down in the corner, goes for Kanyon. He drags the former President of the United States to his feet, and shouts trash at him, as he slowly drags him towards a cage wall. As he arches backwards to slam Kanyon’s head into the wall, Curtis hits him with an elbow to the gut that causes him to stagger, as Steve Awesome leaps almost out of nowhere, into a cross body on Johnny Five, causing both Five and Awesome to slam into the cage wall.
Wright: Ooohhh, can you hear that sound!?
Park: Never mind the sound, can you smell that?
Wright: I don’t think I want to.
The sparks fly off the cage as both men touch the steel and receive a nasty shock. Kanyon pulls Steve to a corner and checks he’s okay. While Misha crawls towards Johnny. Both teams reuniting and checking on each other. Steve and Kanyon are in one corner while on the opposite side of the ring, Misha and Johnny are in the other.
Park: Looks like a fight reset is about to happen.
Almost as if a Klaxon had gone off again, all four men decide to charge at the same time. This time Steve and Johnny face off, while Misha and Curtis face off. Five gives Steve Awesome a deliberate and solid kick to the privates before slamming the head of the Face of the Franchise into the mat with an impact DDT, Curtis is about to lock a chokehold onto Misha, when Johnny clobbers him from behind. The two whip Curtis off the ropes and on the return they lift Curtis up with a double hip toss, causing him to land right on top of Steve Awesome.
Wright: Five and Divine are working like a well oiled machine here.
Park: Well they did earn their tag team title shot.
{Misha repoisitions the bodies of the XHF Tag Team Champions, as Johnny begins to climb up the turnbuckle . As he nears the top, he goes to grab the cage but at the last second stops himself. Making a play to the crowd about how close he came to electrocuting himself. With a phew! Johnny meanwhile is doing the same on the opposite corner. Misha wipes his forehead, and then leaps through the air with a huge moonsault landing on both Kanyon and Awesome! While from the other turnbuckle Johnny takes flight with the IRAE DAI!!!!!}
Park: IRAE DAI!
Wright: That was a close call for both men there, but taking flight in stereo, it’s wonderful.
The crowd are being whipped into a frenzy as Five and Divine stand tall in the center of the ring.The two challengers look around for what to do next, taking in the height, and the building charge of the cage walls. Misha begins to head towards the door while Johnny tries to figure out a way of climbing over. The referee approaches the door to open it, before another referee pulls him back and explains that there’s an electrical current running through the metal. The ref looks up at Misha shrugging, which causes Misha to cuss him out. Johnny is climbing the turnbuckle once again, trying to figure out a way to climb over.}
Wright: I’m not sure this is a good idea.
Misha and Johnny shout to each other, before Misha heads over to Johnny’s corner and begins to climb with him, both men doing their absolute best to ensure they don’t touch the cage and shock each other. As they talk, Misha nods, before placing a foot on Johnny’s knee, and begins to climb up the back of him! Johnny squats as Misha climbs on, but once Constantine is fully on Five’s shoulders, he begins to stand up. The two men wobble a little, causing yet another “oooh” from the crowd. Just as it seems like Johnny and Misha have their balance, Steve and Curtis each grab a leg of Johnny Five. The two men look on panicked, especially Misha, as Awesome and Kanyon position themselves to powerbomb Johnny Five off the turnbuckle, causing Misha Constantine to fall back from an even greater height and slam into the floor.
Park: Powerrrrbooooomb!
Wright: There’s no way that sort of elevated fall doesn’t cause issues to your body.
The cage wall itself seems to spark with anger as the charge builds, even as the bodies of two men come crashing to the mat. Steve begins to shout at the referee to “get some gloves” which one of them runs off presumably to get them. Kanyon climbs on top of Johnny Five and begins to rain down some blows. Five blocks a few, before the power of Kanyon breaks through.
Wright: Should we remind Kanyon that this is a cage match?
Park: I’m not sure he needs much reminding, he’s just sending a message to Johnny Five.
Wright: Did Steve just ask for some gloves!?
With Steve distracted arguing with the referees, Misha tries to gain enough sense to slap the piss out of Kanyon, which causes him to roll off of Johnny. Five and Divine help each other to the stable feet and once again whip Kanyon off of the ropes. As they do so Steve Awesome turns around to see what the commotion is, and in doing so, puts himself right in the firing line, as Five and Divine step to the side and launch Curtis Kanyon towards the cage wall. Poor Steve Awesome is sandwiched between Kanyon and the cage, as the electric current runs through both men.
Wright: Welp, this may be the last time we see Steve Awesome.
Park: I’d be surprised if he could get up after the amount of damage he’s taken.
Wright: I’m surprised Curtis is even still standing, having already defended the FIRESIDE Tag Team Championships with El Combatiente!
Steve Awesome and Curtis Kanyon look out cold at the edge of the ring, Steve’s legs still twitching from the electric current. Johnny and Misha take this time to press their advantage. The drag Curtis to the corner, and while Misha holds him, Five runs across the ring, bounces out of the opposite turnbuckle and as Constantine moves out of the way at the last second, slams into Kanyon with a huge front dropkick. Curtis is on dream street, and now Misha hits the ropes and comes back with a huge diving European Uppercut that flaws Kanyon.
Park: Five and Divine have got the flow going again!
Wright: This tag team fluidity is where they need to keep it.
Now that Five and Divine feel like they’ve dealt with the threat, the two of them begin to drag Kanyon towards the turnbuckle. The cage wall sparks again, almost as if it hungered to be touch. The two men slowly lift up the almost lifeless form of Curtis Kanyon and wedge him on the top turnbuckle. It takes time, and there’s a moment where Misha almost grabs the cage for support, and then shortly after another where Johnny almost grabs the cage too, but both of them manage to keep their wits about them and not needlessly electrocute themselves.
Wright: I can’t watch.
{With Curtis wedged onto the turnbuckle in a seating position, facing out towards the crowd. Misha Constantine positions his hands to give Johnny Five a boost over him, stepping on Misha’s hands, and then shoulders, before stepping up onto Curtis Kanyon’s shoulders. It takes Johnny a moment or two to gather his footing, ever slight wobble or jerking motion drawing an “oooohhh” from the crowd still.}
Park: Wibble wobble, like jelly on a plate.
Wright: These guys are insane.
Just as Misha is about to start climbing, the cage sparks off once more, and it almost causes Johnny Five to fall backwards, but his partner has his back. Five staggers and almost takes a step backwards, but Misha throws his hands up to catch Johnny’s foot, and help him restore his balance on top of Kanyon. Slowly, but surely, Misha begins to climb the turnbuckle, shifting their body weight to avoid the cage wall, and try and climb onto Kanyon physically. Johnny Five squats down as Misha begins to try and climb onto his shoulders too, the patience and dedication from both men trying to hard not to lose their balance.
Park: I hope that this is going to pay off for Five and Divine….
Wright: They sure are taking their time.
As Misha Constantine gets onto Johnny Five’s shoulders, Johnny begins to slowly stand up, on top of Curtis Kanyon’s shoulders, on top of the turnbuckle! With Johnny at full stretch, Misha now tries to slowly stand up. The wobbly tower of doom in the corner has everyone’s attention. While Misha reaches out for the cage, at the last second pulling their hand away - still getting just the tiniest hints of a shock in the hand. Misha looks lost and worried at the top, before noticing down below the referee has returned with the gloves!
Wright: He’s got the gloves!
Constantine shouts for the ref to throw them the gloves, and Johnny begins to shout it too. The stress of being in such a dangerous position getting to both men. However, all the shouting seems to be waking up Steve Awesome, who grabs the legs of Johnny Five causing him to scream out , and causing Misha Constantine to almost lose their balance. Steve shouts at Kanyon to wake him up, and with a huge roar, Curtis rises, lifting Constantine up above the cage wall, and then bringing all three men crashing down!
Park: DEMOLITION DERBY!
Wright: How is anyone standing!? WAIT!
Johnny slams into the mtt and takes the brunt of the impact, Curtis rolls to his feet and hits the ropes. Misha manages to roll backwards to their feet, but is met with a HUGE SUPERKICK from Steve Awesome that sends them flying towards the cage before Misha makes contact however, Curtis Kanyon comes charging from the otherside of the ring and BANG!!!! INTO THE CAGE WALL!
Park: SWEET MERCIFUL ZEUS!
Wright: WHAT IN THE SEVEN HELLS!?
The sparks from the charge almost seem like an explosion, causing Steve Awesome, and the ring side referees to all flinch, as the side of the cage Curtis BANG’d Misha into breaks apart during the explosion, and Curtis rolls through to the floor, both him and Misha still twitching from the electricity. The referees quickly rush to turn the power source off, as the bell rings.
Stanford: Your winners….AAAAAND STIIIIILLLL THE XHF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Steve Awesome and Curtis Kanyon, the BANG! Bros!
Park: I can’t believe it, Five and Divine dominated for parts of the match, but they took their eyes off Steve Awesome for too long, and it cost them in the end.
Wright: Yet it took a BANG! Through the actual cage wall to settle things, what a showing from these teams!
Medical staff rush in to check on everyone as the camera cuts away.
Stanford: Please welcome, for a few words celebrating one year of FIRESIDE, the owner, ANTHONYYYYYYYYYYYY CAFFFFFFFFFFFREEEEEEY!
A violin version of ”My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark” hits the arena speakers as the the crowd launches into loud cheers. The man behind the music pops up not too long after, dressed in a sharp pair of black jeans and a “Built the Empire” t-shirt. He looks over the fans and lets their cheers die down before immediately instigating them to resume.
Anthony Caffrey: PHILADELPHIA! HOW YOU DOIN’?
The crowd cheers loudly!
Anthony Caffrey: I’mma keep this real brief because I wanna see that main event as much as you do -- I’ve got three things to say. Number one, as you heard, tonight is FIRESIDE’s one year anniversary show!
The cheering gets louder.
Wright: I can’t believe we made it!
Park: I know!
Anthony Caffrey: I am especially grateful, and I gotta admit, a bit prideful. To the two companies that decided that Anthony Caffrey was a liability, and to the one company that refused to hire me, and all of which, last I checked, no longer exist around here…
Caffrey smiles.
Caffrey: ...look who’s number one now!
Caffrey holds up a middle finger. The defiant Philadelphia crowd cheers their patriarch.
Caffrey: But this ranking doesn’t happen without all of the folks in the back. Ten wrestlers signed on with us at the beginning of this journey, and now we’re close to 30. On behalf of myself and Marcus Washington and everyone you don’t see, thank you. Thank you for you hard work, your creativity, your dedication, your willingness to throw yourselves into this, I give you all my heart and say that you have made this pandemic suck a whole lot less. Thank you, and thanks to all of you.
He points to the crowd on the last thanking, inspiring more positivity.
Caffrey: Now, onto a big announcement I have, regarding a championship--
The lights begin to wildly flicker in the Hearth. Caffrey looks around, wondering what the hell’s going on.
Caffrey: I’m in the middle of--
!
The crowd reacts loudly! Caffrey looks like he’s seen a ghost, audibly giving a “What the fuck?”
Wright: What the hell?
Park: Is that...
Caffrey:
NOT FINISHED.
Wright: That’s MAJESTY!
Park: What is going on?
Caffrey drops the microphone, noping the hell out of the arena, back up the ramp. The microphone continues as the lights drop. A single golden spotlight shines onto the microphone.
BURROWS. HALLOWEEN.
Wright: That’s the last night of End of Days!
The crowd cheers for the big match, then only gets louder at the next words out of the microphone.
MY REALM.
There is no laugh to end -- the crowd cheers before the spotlight literally drops from the ceiling, smacking down into the ring and inspiring raw terror. The camera cuts and the show goes off the air for a few moments to deal with being plunged into chaos.
Stanford: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a Workhorse match for the X*Crown Championshiiiiiip!
The crowd cheers and immediately launches into the ‘Fuck You Evan’ and ‘Jonnie’s Kid’ chants.
Stanford: Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by El Rey, from Palm Springs, California, and weighing in at 228 pounds, he is the X*Crown champion, EVAAAAAN VALENTIIIIIINE JUNIOOOOOOR!!!!
Evan and El Rey emerge on the stage to a chorus of boos and unkind chants. Evan makes a show of covering El Rey’s ears, shouting at the crowd that El Rey is sensitive. The duo laughs it off, sharing a fist bump and blowing it up before making their way down the ramp.
Stanford: And his opponent, hailing from Belfast, Ireland, and weighing in at 240 pounds…. SPIIIIIIIIIIIIKE KAAAAAAAAANE!!!!!
Evan mimes tossing dice and rolls his eyes, and El Rey laughs with the champion. They pretend to be afraid, shaking and pouting, then ultimately laughing it off.
Wright: Spike Kane has a score to settle with the X*Crown champion and his New Money cronies.
Park: Can’t think of a nicer guy to be at the wrong end of Spike Kane’s wrath.
The arena goes pitch black as slowly it begins to fill with smoke, and in one bright flash the stage lights illuminate in time with the vocals
LET’S BURN IT FUCKING DOWWWWWWWWWWWNNNN!!!
Pyro’s explode at the side of the stage, whilst on the stage Spike Kane emerges through a wall of flames, with a mad look in his eyes, and a sick grin on his face. The crowd actually cheers for the God of Xtreme as he halts on the top of the ramp and soaks in the atmosphere.
“Back from the dead to tell you that I'm alive
Killed the old way but I survived
Fuck the blueprint, I redesign
Death or exile, you decide
Tell 'em all that I made my name
Tell 'em all that I paved my way
Found the fear then went face to face
Now it's mine to send up in flames”
Spike draws an imaginary line on the ground, his intent being made obvious for the X*Crown Champion.
“'Cause this right here is as far as you go
This right here is where I lose control
This right here is as far as you go”
Spike jumps backwards towards the apron, and rolls through the ropes to a sitting position with his legs crossed in the middle of the ring, as a pyro pops off from each turnbuckle in time with the vocals once again
“Burn it all down, burn it all down
I don't give a fuck
Burn it all down, burn it to the ground
Feed the flames, go insane
And burn it all down, burn it all down”
The camera zooms in on Spike’s as he slowly rises to his feet staring down the hard camera.
“Fuck what they say, fuck everything
Light the match, gasoline
Kill it all, kill everything
And burn it all down, burn it all down!”
The lights return to normal as the music fades. Spike cracks his neck, his eyes still boring into the hard cam, before he finally turns to prepare for the match.
Wright: Tonight Walter will be joined at ringside by an official from the XHF.
Park: The XHF sent their own referee? Interesting.
Wright: After some questions lately as to the objectivity of Fireside’s head official, Mr. Caffrey felt it prudent to request the services of a neutral third party.
Park: I never liked that mardinly guy/
Wright: The referee calls for the bell and we are underway!
Park: It's going to be interesting to see how the crafty Valentine deals with the sort of physical onslaught Spike Kane is famous for.
Wright: Not to mention how Evan's designated corner man is going to figure into this contest.
Evan taunts Kane, jumping around in the ring and doing his best imitation of Muhammad Ali. Spike looks like he wants none of it though, finally responding with a kick to the abdomen. Kane goes for a vertical suplex, but Valentine lands on his feet and shoves Kane into the ropes, trying to roll him up into an early pin, but Kane rolls through again, following up with a hard knee to the back of Valentine's head.
Wright: Spike Kane is wasting no time!
Park: Valentine seems to be having some more trouble getting things going than he usually does, with only one of his goons here to help him out.
Kane drilled Valentine with another knee, then hauls the champion up off the mat. Kane shouts something at Valentine, who spits in the hellspawn's face. Kane looks livid, responding with sharp elbows to Valentine's face. Valentine does his best to weather the onslaught, but Spike easily manages to overwhelm the X*Crown champion.
Park: Spike Kane is dominating the X*Crown champion in the opening moments of this match.
Wright: I'm not sure what Valentine said to make him so angry, but I think I heard something unkind about Spike's mother.
Kane whips Valentine into the corner, charging in after the champion. Valentine slips out through the ropes and Kane slams into the turnbuckles. Valentine vaults over the ropes, catching Spike with a rana that sends the challenger to the floor. Valentine poses in the ring and the crowd boos. Evan makes a face and waves off the chants of 'Fuck you, Evan!' and 'Jonnie's Boy,', instead launching himself at the ropes for a suicide dive. Kane has the champion's number and reverses the move into a DDT!
Wright: Nice counter from the challenger!
Park: He needs to get Jonnie's Kid back in the ring. You can;t win matches outside the ring, even if it IS a no disqualification match.
Kane hauls Valentine up from a crumpled heap at ringside, rolling him back into the ring. Before he can follow the champ into the ring, El Rey launches himself off the ring steps, dropkicking Spike into the barrier. The crowd boos Rey, who looks a little shaken by their hate, but it doesn't stop the second generation wrestler from following up his attack. He hauls Kane up off the floor, whipping him into the ring post, and then following up with a german suplex!
Wright: El Rey is bringing it to the challenger!
Park: And it's all legal. And as a side note, i think this might be the most offense we've seen out of El Rey to date.
El Ray goes under the ring and pulls out a length of steel pipe, grinning. Spike is starting to get back to his feet when El Rey swings the pipe at the challenger, but Spike blocks it with his forearm. Kane winces, but yanks the pipe away from El Rey, taking a swing of his own. El Rey ducks the swing at the pips clangs against the ring post. El Ray picks his moment to retreat and Kane hurls the now-bent pipe after the champion's crony. Kane slides back into the ring, keeping his eyes on El Rey and failing to notice that Valentine is back on his feet. Valentine chooses his moment to pounce, nailing Spike with a Picture Perfect Dropkick!
Park: Valentine finally gets a good hit on Kane.
Wright: Time will tell if he can capitalize and take the lead.
Valentine goes for the pin!
...ONE...
...TWO...
Kickout!
Wright: Kane is keeping the dream alive!
Park: Would YOU want to lose the first pinfall in an iron man match?
Valentine argues with the referee that the count was too slow and that it should have been a free. The referee tells him off and Evan sulks, but he chooses to try and push his advantage before Kane has a chance to recover. Valentine tries to haul Kane up to his feet, but Kane takes the opportunity to pull Valentine into a cradle of his own!
...ONE...
...TWO...
Kickout!
Wright: Kane pays Valentine back with a near fall of his own!
Valentine is first to his feet and nails Kane with a sharp knee so the face. He hauls Kane up off of the mat by the waist and then nails Kane with a german suplex, rolling through into a bridging pin!
...ONE...
...TWO...
Kickout!
Valentine slams his hands on the mat, but scrambles to his feet again. He hooks Kane in a full nelson and lifts the challenger to his feet, following up with a dragon suplex and another bridging pin!
...ONE...
...TWO...
Kickout!
Wright: Spike Kane will not die!
Park: Valentine is bringing the thunder, but Spike Kane is weathering the storm like a champ!
Valentine curses loudly, and flips off the crowd that is still intensely booing the champion. He hauls Spike up to his feet again. Kane, for his part, is out on his feet. Valentine hooks Kane up and fires off a snap suplex, twisting his hips and getting up to his feet without releasing the move. He fires off a second snap suplex, rolling through much the same as the first time and firing off a third.
Park: Valentine with the Three Amigos!
Wright: Surely that has to have earned the champion a first pinfall!
Valentine goes for the pin again, shouting at the referee to count at the right speed.
...ONE...
...TWO...
...THRE- Kickout!
Spike barely manages to bead the count, but Valentine looks stunned.
Wright: How much deeper does that well go? It seems like no matter what Valentine does, he can't seem to gain any ground against Spike Kane.
Park: Neither one of these two wants to give up first blood, Ollie, and the fact that he died in the ring has to tell you that Spike Kane is more stubborn than most.
Valentine shouts at the referee again, arguing that he should be counting faster. Kane starts to get up, but Valentine stops him cold with a kick to the arm El Ray hit earlier. Spike cries out in pain, and Valentine grins. He boots the injured forearm again, then stomps on it. He mocks Kane as Kane rolls around on the mat in pain. Kane swipes at Valentine with his other arm, but Valentine stops him cold, lifting the injured arm up and stomping on it again. Kane cries out again, only encouraging Valentine to push it further. Valentine mounts Kane, twisting his arm into a modified Kimura. Kane tries to fight out of it, but it looks like he might tap after the combination of Valentines attack and the wrist lock. Kane manages to get enough leverage to hook one of his legs around Valentine's head, reversing the kimura into a headscissors!
Wright: It looked like Valentine was going to make Kane tap, but the challenger has turned the tables!
Park: This is a better match than I expected from Jonnie's Kid.
Valentine tries to escape, but every time it seems like he's making some headway, Kane stops him cold with sharp elbows to his back and neck. When Valentine refuses to tap himself, Kane releases the hold, getting back to his feet. Valentine scrambles to his feet as well, but Kane has his number. He stops Valentine with a pump kick, then drives a kick into his abdomen. He sets up for the Canadian Destroyer, but Valentine reverses it into a waterwheel slam.
Park: Looks like the champ had that one scouted!
Wright: Evan Valentine is showing some of his legitimate skill. Shame he's such a daft twat.
Valentine continues attacking the arm, catching Kane in a cross armbreaker that Kane responds to with an ankle lock. Kane breaks the stalemate with a forearm. He hauls Valentine up off the mat and hits a deadlift german suplex, keeping his arms locked around the champion's waist. He rolls through and hits a release german suplex, hurling Valentine into the corner. Kane is quick to push the advantage, but Valentine stops him cold with a kick to the dick, followed by a nasty looking buckle bomb.
Wright: Valentine with the low blow!
Park: He might have just broken Spike's neck.... Is a broken neck a big deal if you're a zombie?
Valentine drives kicks into Kane in the corner. He sets up for a facewash but when he bounces off the ropes, Kane pops the champion up in the air and nails the Blood God's Wrath!
Wright: POP UP POWERBOMB!
Park: That looks like first blood to me, Ollie!
Kane rolls up Valentine, grabbing a handful of tights for good measure.
...ONE...
...TWO...
...THREE!!!
The referee calls for the bell, which only rings a single time.
Wright: To the challenger go the spoils! Spike Kane scores the first pinfall!
Park: It's been insane so far, but we've still got some match to go!
Kane and Valentine are sent to their respective corners for a short rest period. El Rey hands Valentine a bottle of Fiji water, but Valentine glares at him and throws the bottle back in his face. Valentine grabe El Ray by the shirt, pulling him close enough that he can say something to his stablemate and keep his mouth obscured. He points toward kane, and El Rey, despite looking nervous, nods. The referee shoes El Rey out of the ring and the bell dings twice, indicating the end of the rest period.
Kane and Valentine waste no time tearing into one another, locking up and trading punches and knees. Kane takes advantage and throws Valentine out of the ring, following after him. Valentine grabs something from under the ring before he gets back to his feet. Kane follows up with a pescado, sending himself and Valentine crashing to the floor. Kane gets to his feet and hauls Valentine up after him, slamming the champion into the ring apron, then the barrier, then the ring apron again. Kane drives Valentine back and forth between the ring apron several times, finally tossing him back into the ring. Valentine lands on on his feet and tries to trap Kane in an Octopus hold inside the ropes.
Wright: Valentine is using one of his old tag partner's tricks.
Park: Like him or not, effective is effective.
Kane breaks the hold and, after escaping, annihilates Valentine with Bloody Sunday. Kane beats on Valentine rather than go for another pin, clearly getting caught up in the energy of the match. Neither man is looking any the better after nearly thirty minutes of beating the hell out of each other, but neither is willing to give up an inch. Kane hurls Valentine into the ropes, aiming for another Blood God's Wrath, but Valentine reverses it into a Frankensteiner. Valentine slipped Kane upside down into a Sharpshooter and then locked him in a Muta Lock, trying to force a submission.
Park: Valentine is trying to force a submission!
Wright: After throwing everything he has at Spike Kane, the champion must be getting desperate!
Kane fights to shift his body to break the move, but it looks like he might not have any choice but to tap. Kane continues to fight, finally getting his hands on the rope and refusing to let go.
Park: There are no rope breaks in a no disqualification match.
Wright: But he's technically outside the ring, so unless Valentine gets him to let go of the ropes he can't make Spike submit.
Park: It's a really smart move on Kane's part.
Valentine breaks the hold and yanks Spike to his feet. The two men go to war with stiff chops and forearms. Whenever4 it looks like one is going to take the definitive advantage, the other rallies and fights back. For all intents and purposes, both men are bringing out the best in the other,.Valentine whips Kane into the corner and follows in for a monkey flip but was trapped and snapped down into the buckles for a Snake Eyes.
Wright: Nice Counter from the challenger!
Valentine uses the ropes to pull himself back to his feet. Kane charges at him, but Valentine low-bridges the challenger and sends Kane to the outside. Valentine nails a pescado on Kane, then pulls the challenger to his feet and hooks up for Evansent! Kane slips out of the move and suplexed Valentine into the ring apron. Kane hauls Evan back up off the floor, shouting at him that this is where it ends. He sets up for the Canadian Destroyer, but before he can snap it off, El Rey blasts Kane across the throat with a kendo stick. Kane crumples to the floor, and El Rey wails on the challenger, giving Valentine a moment to catch his breath.
Wright: El Rey interjecting himself into the match again!
Park: He’s probably the only thing that saved Jonnie’s Kid from a second pinfall.
There is a ruckus from the crowd as two people push through the fans to get to ringside and vault over the barrier. The smaller of the two pulls El Rey off of Kane, and the bigger of the two spears El Ray into the ring post. The crowd is losing their minds as the duo remove their hoods to reveal Steve Awesome and Curtis Kanyon of the BANG! Bros!
Wright: It looks like Spike Kane had an insurance policy of his own!
Park: This match has been full of surprises so far.
Kanyon offers a fist to Kane, who stares at it for a long moment. Kanyon finally takes Spike’s hand with his other hand and holds it up so he can fist bump the hellspawn, who rolls his eyes. Awesome and Kanyon go to keep El Rey busy while Kane’s focus returns to Valentine, who still appears to be prone on the floor. Kane goes to pick up Valentine and the champion blasts him with a chair! Kane looks surprised, but stays on his feet. Valentine swings the chair again, but Kane catches it this time. He pulls the chair away from Valentine. Valentine drops to his knees, loudly and shamelessly begging the challenger to not hit him, declaring that he’s learned his lesson. Kane teases that he’s going to discard the chair, then whirls around and blasts Valentine with the chair.
Wright: Valentine getting a taste of his own medicine!
Park: I bet it tasted like losing.
Kane unloads with chair shots while the crowd counts along, continuing his assault until the chair is mangled and barely identifiable as a chair. He hauls Valentine up off the mat and takes a step toward the ring before dumping Valentine back on the floor. Kane pulls up the mats at ringside, exposing the concrete floor. He pulls Valentine back to his feet, setting up for the Canadian Destroyer again. He looks for El Rey, who is currently being corralled by Kanyon and Awesome. Kane is about to nail the piledriver when Wayne tanner’s music plays. Spike looks for any sign of the other New Money stooge, giving Valentine the opportunity he needs to grab Kane’s wrist and set him up for an Evansent on the bare concrete!
Wright: Good god!
Park: Evan just dropped Kane on his head on the bare concrete!
Valentine hauls Kane up on his shoulders nails another Evansent for good measure. Kane isn’t moving at all, and blood is trickling from the challenger’s nose. Valentine pulls Kane up again and rolls him into the ring. Valentine rolls in after him and hauls up Kane again, nailing a third Evansent. Valentine goes for a pin.
...ONE…
...TWO…
...THREE-Kickout!
Kane kicks out at the last possible instant he can. Valentine is furious, getting in the referee’s face again and miming that it should have been a three count.
Wright: The fact that Spike Kane kicked out after three Evansents is nothing short of a miracle!
Park: As you would say, Ollie, Spike Kane is proving he’s a proper monster.
Wright: This match has been incredible so far, but if things don’t change soon this match is going to end with a single pinfall.
Valentine shoves the referee and hauls Kane up onto his feet again, setting up for yet another Evansent, but Kane slips off of Evan’s shoulders and reverses the move into a ripcord lariat that turns Valentine inside out. Kane goes to the top for a moonsault but El Rey pulls his legs out from under him, leaving Kane tangled in the tree of woe. Valentine comes in hot, hitting a running dropkick to Kane’s face. He grabs the challenger’s arms, curbstomping Kane into the bottom turnbuckle. Valentine goes to the opposite corner and comes in with a cannonball senton. Kane finally slips out of the ropes, and Valentine goes for another pin.
...ONE...
...TWO...
Kickout!
Wright: Spike Kane kicks out again!
Park: Valentine has to be getting desperate at this point.
Valentine is slow to get back to his feet, clearly exhausted after the long match. Kane uses the ropes to pull himself up from the mat, looking fairly unstable on his feet and equally as exhausted as the champion. But both men charge at each other, hitting clotheslines on each other at the same time. Valentine’s assault appears to be taking its toll, because when Spike tries to get up, he can’t get his legs under him.
Park: Spike might not be able to get up.
Wright: After the rinsing Evan Valentine has given him, it was only a matter of time UnJoo.
Valentine hauls Kane up off the mat again, starting to look worried. He hooks up Kane and nails a sit-out Michinoku driver and goes for the pinfall!
...ONE...
...TWO...
Kickout!
The crowd roars, chanting back and forth between ‘This is Awesome! ‘ and ‘Jonnie’s Boy!’
Valentine hurls Kane into the corner, nailing a Picture Perfect Dropkick. He follows it up with a running Big Boot, but Kane grabs his foot and reverses it into an ankle lock!
Wright: Kane with the wherewithal to continue to fight after being brutalized by Evan Valentine!
Park: According to the clock, we’ve got just over two minutes left! If Kane can make him tap then there’s no chance to turn it around.
Kane roars into the universe, cinching on Valentine’s ankle. Evan tries to make his way to the tried to fight his way to the ropes but whenever he gets close, Kane drags him back to the center of the ring. Valentine went for an enziguiri but Kane ducks and cinches it in tighter. Valentine tries for the ropes again, but Kane locks up his arm too, effectively immobalizing the champion with just over a minute to go. Valentine refuses to submit, struggling to do something.
Wright: If Kane can keep this up, we have a new champion!
Park: There is less than thirty seconds left in this match!
The crowd counts down as the clock nears zero. Valentine continues to struggle, finally managing to get onto his back and he pulls Kane into a cradle! It’s a race against the clock as the referee starts to count!
...ONE…
Crowd: THREE!!
...TWO…
Crowd: TWO!!
...THREE!!!!!
Crowd: ONE!!
The referee calls for the bell as time expires.
Park: Valentine gets a pinfall as time expires!
Wright: What an incredible showing from these two! Truly a main event for the ages!
Valentine looks elated, sure that he'll retain the championship on a draw. He flips off Spike, who looks furious for himself but makes no move to stop Evan from his cavorting. Evan continues to taunt Spike, going so far as to stick the X*Crown belt in the challenger's face and flip him off. The XHF official at ringside calls Stanford over, whispering something to him that puts a smile on the ring announcer's face.
Stanford: Ladies and Gentlemen... The time limit has elapsed with the result of a draw!
Park: Valentine is going to hold on to the X*Crown on a technicality?
Wright: This is nonsense! This is the X*Crown!
Evan is still continuing with his somewhat vulgar celebration, and Spike's anger is clearly starting to boil over.
Stanford: Normally, this match would go to champion's advantage. However, due to behavior unbecoming of an X*Crown champion, the XHF representative has determined the match will continue in sudden death!
Valentine pales, and a wide grin appears on Spike's face as the challenger mouths the words 'oh you're fucked now!' Valentine attempts to hit Kane with the X*Crown title belt, but Spike ducks the blow. The referee calls for the bell to restart the match! El Rey tosses a chair to Valentine, only to be chased up the ramp and out of the arena by Kanyon, leaving Valentine without any of his support. Valentine hesitates for a moment then blasts Spike right across the top of the head with the chair, but Kane no-sells the chair shot, encouraging Valentine to hit him again. Valentine obliges with a second chair shot, which Kane similarly no-sells. Valentine cues up for another swing, but Kane counters with a superkick that knocks the chair out of Valentine's hands and out of the ring.
Wright: Spike Kane couldn't have telegraphed that better.
Park: Stuff like that is why I love wrestling, Ollie.
Kane nails Valentine with another superkick, then whips the champion into the corner. He races in afterward, but Valentine ducks out of the way again. Spike slams into the turnbuckles and Valentine bulldogs him to the mat. He hauls Spike up on his shoulders, setting up for Evansent, but Kane slips off of Evan's shoulder and uses his trapped arm to pull even into a hard kick to the abdomen, following it up with Thunderstruck!
Wright: Ripcord Thunderstruck!
Park: Spike Kane is continuing to show us why he's regarded as one of the best ever!
Kane goes for the pin!
...ONE...
...TWO...
Kickout!
Kane looks stunned, but it gradually gives way to a wide grin.
Wright: Valentine digs even deeper to kick out after Thunderstruck!
Park: If he wasn't such a douche I think that Evan would have a lot of people on his side by now.
Kane mouths the words 'It's over!' and hauls Evan up to his feet again, lifting the champ up and nailing a Spike Impaler!
Park: that has to be the end of the road for Valentine.
Wright: The crowd is on fire!
The crowd by now is completely caught up in the match, trading chants of 'Fuck You, Evan!' and 'Fight Forever!' Spike goes for a pin again to put the exclamation point on the match-
...ONE...
...TWO...
...THREE-
Kickout!
-But Valentine manages to kick out again, earning an intense wave of boos from the hot crowd. Spike starts to laugh, ignoring the referee as he hauls Valentine up off the mat again. Steve Awesome slides another chair into the ring, and Kane positions himself so the chair is underneath Evan and hauls him up in the air, stalling for longer than usual, before nailing another Spike Impaler on the chair!
Wright: Goodnight, Mr. Valentine!
Kane goes for the pin, and the crowd counts along with the referee.
...ONE...
...TWO...
...THREE!!!!
The referee calls for the bell, and the crowd roars for Spike Kane as he is handed the X*Crown title belt.
Stanford: Ladies and gentlemen, by a pinfall count of two to one, the winner of this match and your NEW X*Crown Champion.... SPIIIIIIIIIKE KAAAAAAAANE!!!!
Park: Thank god! Spike Kane has done it! Spike Kane has saved the XHF!
Wright: Nobody can say that wasn't a hard fought victory! Nobody can say Evan Valentine Jr. wasn't a fighting champion. Both men gave it everything they had, but in the end it was Spike Kane's night. The new X*Crown champion has to feel pretty good about that!
Spike stares at the belt in his hands, his expression largely unreadable. But as his music starts to play, he stands on the fallen former champion's chest and holds the belt above his head. He raises his other hand to point at the End of Days banner hanging in the rafters, and the last shot of the show is a close up of Kane's face, and the barest hint of a smirk on his face.