Post by Dave D-Flipz on Oct 1, 2021 23:25:35 GMT -5
OCTOBER 1, 2021
*We open up in the arena of the location of XHF End of Days Week 1. A man in a journalist hat, with credentials, shows up.
He has a cat on his shoulders with spectacles.
*
: I say, excuse me sir!
: Yes? HURRICANE!
: FUNAKI. I mean um- *coughs* No I am not this, Hurricane you said? No no.
: But … we worked together in XHF AND that other place in Connecticut. You haven’t had a secret identity in years.
: I am unsure of what you mean. I am Gregory Helms. Reporter Extraordinaire! I am here to get the low down on this Anthony Caffrey fellow!
: … What’s with the kitten?
: What? This isn’t a kitten! He’s clearly my cojournalist! He’s a famous author!
: Mrrrroooow!
: Why yes! Everyone has heard of you buddy! Who doesn’t know Purrman Melville and his epic Moby Hiss!
*beat*
: Mew!
: Isn’t that? He’s so furry … and tiny … and clearly a cat. Hurricane I gotta say, this is giving me-
: GREGORY AND PURRMAN!
*Funaki sighs*
: This is giving me flashbacks to when I had to pal around with Death Trap, Magnus, and Gravedigger. I’m not up for this level of insane.
: Then guide me to someone with information!
: I think DT is still here. Over in that room. He’s doing press for XHF since he’s been involved with SWAT and they have left the network.
: GADZOOKS! You mean DT is law enforcement? What a boost in careers! That guy was always just a walking hat joke and catchphrase see-and-say!
: … Yeah. Good seeing you again … Greg.
: My pleasure citize- … I mean … XHF Numba One Announcer Funaki!
*He smiles warmly and punches him in the arm, a bruise instantly forms, as if he was hit with superpowers.*
*We open up in the XHF production truck.*
Death Trap: Ok so if we put the feature on the KGB here, we can make the XHF look better. Shine a real light on the people who spearheaded the situation. Then we tell the sad story of how it led to a loss of-
*The door bursts open and smacks DT in the face, knocking his signature bowler hat to the floor.*
Death Trap: FUCKING OW!
: Mroowry.
Death Trap: That’s alright Tiny- uh … ok … now I’ve seen everything, did that door knock me loopy? Hurricane?
: GREGORY! And PURRMAN!
Death Trap: *DT coughs, he knows to just play along* Yes, right. Good to see you Greg, how’s it going?
: We’re doing an expose on the man known as Caffrey! We need all the dirt on him. Who is he, what makes him tick, how would a superhero defeat him?
Death Trap: Oh boy, a real joker that one. Caff is bad news in the ring man. Talented. Almost as good a submissionist as me. Not as much variety. Limited that way. But he is tenacious. I advise wearing some kind of stabilizer in the boot. His ankle lock is his best attack.
: Oh this is good. Ankle lock. Well I don’t have to worry. Super powers prevent my bones from being broken by mere mortals. I MEAN HIS FOE WOULDN’T WORRY! HAHAHA! So is he a good guy? Or villainous.
Death Trap: Pfft. I don’t think HE can decide. He’s trying to be better. Give him credit, he loves his city. Wants to do good by them. I can respect that. He also tried to get me to retire to some rest home in Seattle. So I took his X*Crown from him. Hasn’t done much since. He’s likely rusty.
: Mew Mow?
Death Trap: WE DON’T TALK … of … did I just understand the cat? *he shakes his head* Ok so he beat me and Mistress Discipline for the tag belts. And he made me … tap … ONCE! ONLY ONCE! Like I said, he’s not lacking in talent. Also Radu could carry Ken the Box to glory. Look, just respect the ability and try not to let him talk too much.
: I understand. Ok. Thanks. Best of luck in your new role DT! Good to see you!
*He bounds back through the door.*
Death Trap: … He’s gonna get his ankles shattered. Cute kitten though. … Wait Purrman Melville? OH THAT IS SO BAD-
*Fade out*
*We open up in the arena of the location of XHF End of Days Week 1. A man in a journalist hat, with credentials, shows up.
He has a cat on his shoulders with spectacles.
*: I say, excuse me sir!: Yes? HURRICANE!: FUNAKI. I mean um- *coughs* No I am not this, Hurricane you said? No no.: But … we worked together in XHF AND that other place in Connecticut. You haven’t had a secret identity in years.: I am unsure of what you mean. I am Gregory Helms. Reporter Extraordinaire! I am here to get the low down on this Anthony Caffrey fellow!: … What’s with the kitten?: What? This isn’t a kitten! He’s clearly my cojournalist! He’s a famous author!: Mrrrroooow!: Why yes! Everyone has heard of you buddy! Who doesn’t know Purrman Melville and his epic Moby Hiss!*beat*
: Mew!: Isn’t that? He’s so furry … and tiny … and clearly a cat. Hurricane I gotta say, this is giving me-: GREGORY AND PURRMAN!*Funaki sighs*
: This is giving me flashbacks to when I had to pal around with Death Trap, Magnus, and Gravedigger. I’m not up for this level of insane.: Then guide me to someone with information!: I think DT is still here. Over in that room. He’s doing press for XHF since he’s been involved with SWAT and they have left the network.: GADZOOKS! You mean DT is law enforcement? What a boost in careers! That guy was always just a walking hat joke and catchphrase see-and-say!: … Yeah. Good seeing you again … Greg.: My pleasure citize- … I mean … XHF Numba One Announcer Funaki!*He smiles warmly and punches him in the arm, a bruise instantly forms, as if he was hit with superpowers.*
*We open up in the XHF production truck.*
Death Trap: Ok so if we put the feature on the KGB here, we can make the XHF look better. Shine a real light on the people who spearheaded the situation. Then we tell the sad story of how it led to a loss of-
*The door bursts open and smacks DT in the face, knocking his signature bowler hat to the floor.*
Death Trap: FUCKING OW!
: Mroowry.Death Trap: That’s alright Tiny- uh … ok … now I’ve seen everything, did that door knock me loopy? Hurricane?
: GREGORY! And PURRMAN!Death Trap: *DT coughs, he knows to just play along* Yes, right. Good to see you Greg, how’s it going?
: We’re doing an expose on the man known as Caffrey! We need all the dirt on him. Who is he, what makes him tick, how would a superhero defeat him?Death Trap: Oh boy, a real joker that one. Caff is bad news in the ring man. Talented. Almost as good a submissionist as me. Not as much variety. Limited that way. But he is tenacious. I advise wearing some kind of stabilizer in the boot. His ankle lock is his best attack.
: Oh this is good. Ankle lock. Well I don’t have to worry. Super powers prevent my bones from being broken by mere mortals. I MEAN HIS FOE WOULDN’T WORRY! HAHAHA! So is he a good guy? Or villainous.Death Trap: Pfft. I don’t think HE can decide. He’s trying to be better. Give him credit, he loves his city. Wants to do good by them. I can respect that. He also tried to get me to retire to some rest home in Seattle. So I took his X*Crown from him. Hasn’t done much since. He’s likely rusty.
: Mew Mow?Death Trap: WE DON’T TALK … of … did I just understand the cat? *he shakes his head* Ok so he beat me and Mistress Discipline for the tag belts. And he made me … tap … ONCE! ONLY ONCE! Like I said, he’s not lacking in talent. Also Radu could carry Ken the Box to glory. Look, just respect the ability and try not to let him talk too much.
: I understand. Ok. Thanks. Best of luck in your new role DT! Good to see you!*He bounds back through the door.*
Death Trap: … He’s gonna get his ankles shattered. Cute kitten though. … Wait Purrman Melville? OH THAT IS SO BAD-
*Fade out*
