..::THE XHF NETWORK PRESENTS: MARCH TO END OF DAYS::..
Oct 3, 2021 16:19:01 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, ForeverKuroi, and 6 more like this
Post by Dave D-Flipz on Oct 3, 2021 16:19:01 GMT -5
The XHF Network Proudly Presents:
MARCH TO END OF DAYS
Date: October 3, 2021
CURE Insurance Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 8500 (Masks required)
The site of the turning battle in the American Revolution, Washington led his army across the frozen Delaware river on Christmas 1775 to take out the Hessian Garrison stationed in Trenton, the one time capital of the United States.
Theme Song: Don't Back Down by Mammoth WVH
MARCH TO END OF DAYS
Date: October 3, 2021
CURE Insurance Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 8500 (Masks required)
The site of the turning battle in the American Revolution, Washington led his army across the frozen Delaware river on Christmas 1775 to take out the Hessian Garrison stationed in Trenton, the one time capital of the United States.
Theme Song: Don't Back Down by Mammoth WVH
The ripping sound of Mammoth WVH and the theme song "Don't Back Down" pulses around the CURE Insurance Arena. We get a big aerial zoom around the place as the fans bounce up and down and jam out to Wolfgang Van Halen. The atmosphere in the arena is one of fun and a marked change from the previous doom and gloom End of Days events, and a nice reprieve from all the quarantine days. Masked though they are, the fans are ready for something special and the turnout shows this. A full arena bounces to the guitar, as we zoom down to the ring and past it to the announce table wjere we find Joey Hawke and Randy Angel seated.
Hawke: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! XHF FAITHFUL! Welcome to the new and renovated END OF DAYS! This is week 1 of the five week tournament and show series. This year the network itself is hosting the first two shows AND the big finale. CAR and Fireside step in to host weeks 3 and 4 respectively. We're absolutely exstatic to have you here.
Randy: I'm Randy Angel, he's Joey Hawke, and we welcome you to the first round of matches here in Trenton, New Jersey! Chosen for this event as the site of one of the most decisive and meaningful patriot victories in the American Revolution, SUCK IT BRITS!
Hawke: AHEM! Yes, well ... the battlefields are set and it is time for this tournament to begin. On the line? The right to a ONE ON ONE match for the X*Crown Championship at the big event on October 31!
Randy: And with that in mind, here is the brackets for the singles tournament. Feel free to predict your future opponents, but don't look too far ahead.
Bonnie Jenkins: The following contest is a first round End of Days Match!
The crowd cheers loudly!
Hawke: In our very first match tonight we see two newer faces on the Network, both looking for another breakthrough win and to get out in the spotlight.
Randy: I remember being a newbie like this, the adrenaline flies through your body that much faster as you’re also fighting the nerves!
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing first, representing NLW, billed from The Theater, weighing in at 195 pounds, they are THE THHHHHHHHESSSSPPPIAAAAAAAAN!
The ominous makings of Peter Gundry's "To Death We Dance" begins to echo throughout the arena. The Thespian, with his Interpreter, both walk out from the back in matching outfits, save for the gloves of which the Interpreter wears only black. Taking each other by the hand and hip, the duo begin to waltz their way towards the ring. The Interpreter climbs onto the ring apron first upon arrival and opens the ropes for the Thespian to slip in. The skinsuit-wearing wrestling stands in the middle of the ring, taking in the crowd for a moment before moving into his corner. The Interpreter, on the other hand, stays quietly at ringside.
Hawke: Thespian came up just short in their Southern States Championship match last night and then had to catch a flight up to New Jersey, what’s going through their mind?
Randy: It’s hard to tell! The full bodysuit conceals many things, including most of their emotions. Still, if you’ve not seen Thespian in action, you’re in for a treat.
Bonnie Jenkins: And their opponent, representing FIRESIDE, from Houston, Texas, weighing in at 160 pounds, they are SAAAAAAAM SAAAWWWWYEERRRRR!
The arena lights dim as a bassline begins to play. While a silver mist slowly fills the stage, the fans wait in anticipation. A deep voice starts singing in a whisper. Then, a dark figure walks through the mist. Completely decked out in black, the teenager slowly walks forward. The camera mostly keeps its distance. Different angles give a better look, but their face is still mostly obscured in darkness. After climbing the steps and entering the ring, the volume of the music increases.
"I hear the sons of the city and dispossessed
Get down, get undressed
Get pretty but you and me
We got the kingdom, we got the key
We got the empire, now as then
We don't doubt, we don't take direction"
Get down, get undressed
Get pretty but you and me
We got the kingdom, we got the key
We got the empire, now as then
We don't doubt, we don't take direction"
The mist has thinned but the arena is still dark. The song quietens down.
"Lucretia, my reflection, dance the ghost with me"
Then reaches its loud finale. The lights come back on and the fans cheer. The camera focuses on Sam Sawyer's cold, glaring face.
Hawke: Mostly-mute Sam Sawyer came within a second of being the person defending the X-Crown championship, not wrestling for the right to fight in an one-on-one.
Randy: An underrated match from a wrestler quietly filing their candidacy to be the XHF Rookie of the Year. This kid’s not even old enough to drink yet, and they can go.
Hawke: Two wrestlers who believe in show rather than tell, this should be a fun one. There’s the bell, here we go!
END OF DAYS SINGLES TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND MATCH
One Fall Match
Sam Sawyer vs Thespian
The bell rings and there’s a show of respect between the two combatants as they seem to just look at one another. There’s a look of caution on the face of Sawyer, realizing this is not an opponent they can make eye contact with, while Thespian has bent over to lock up but instead has pulled back, waiting for the first move. Sawyer comes in closer and Thespian decides to throw a palm strike, which Sawyer blocks. They respond by leaping up for a dropkick, but the resident of the theater responds by getting their hands up, swatting the kick away. The two regain their footing and have another look at one another.
Hawke: There’s a feeling out process going on here.
Randy: Evenly-matched opponents do that kind of thing. In this case, you have to start taking risks to get the ball rolling.
Hawke: You sound… intelligent?
Randy: I wasn’t allowed to drink for the show opener.
The Thespian looks to lock in a side headlock and position their hands over the face of Sawyer, but Sawyer shoves their opponent away and swings with a wild open hand slap, which Thespian ducks under!
Randy: Get fu-
Hawke: Not if they don’t actually hit it, Randy!
Thespian throws a European uppercut, then another, and finally a third, grabbing their opponent to keep them from falling to the mat. They look over at the ropes and go to eject Sawyer from the ring, but Sawyer gets a foot up on the middle rope and responds with a hard right hand, followed by a second, and then it quickly becomes a pile-on situation as Thespian loses his footing! Thespian ducks out before too much more damage can be inflicted, rolling out underneath the bottom rope to catch a breather as referee Joe Mammarella begins his count!
...ONE!
Randy: Thespian taking a breather!
Hawke: Do you think they can breath in that? Surely not, right?
Randy: I have my doubts.
Thespian takes a few moments to walk around the ring, scouting Sawyer. Sawyer runs at the ropes to look for some kind of dive to the outside, but stops as Thespian is well-prepared and ready to catch whatever’s coming next. Sawyer steps out onto the apron instead and delivers a series of low kicks, trying to knock Thespian back enough to hit a bigger move.
...ONE!
One such kick catches Thespian in just the right spot, knocking him backwards! Sawyer dives at him, only to be speared out of mid-air, slamming their shoulders and lower neck straight into the ring apron! The crowd cheers the big move!
...TWO!
Hawke: Spear! Oh! Look at that awful landing!
Randy: Thespian and Sawyer collided hard with that apron, Sawyer’s not in good shape after that one!
Hawke: Landing on your neck like that’s gotta hurt!
The Thespian rolls while on the ground, shaking his concealed head, doing his best to cover up for the fact that his head also has collided with the ring apron and he’s a bit weary.
...THREE!
He eventually rolls back up to his feet, surveying the damage and the still downed-Sawyer. He grabs Sam and works to throw them back into the ring, sending the younger opponent back into the space. Thespian climbs the ropes and gives an invisible hat tip to the crowd, popping them as the entertainer he is. He turns around into what becomes one of the loudest pops of the night, a full-fledged slap from Sam Sawyer that echoes throughout the Trenton arena! The crowd yells along with Randy Angel!
Randy: GET FUCKED!
Hawke: Can’t take your eyes off a wrestler like Sam, they’ll make you pay! Look how stiff that was!
Sam shoves Thespian to the ground and plants an elbow in his face before grabbing the arm, locking in a bicep slicer!
Randy: Bicep slicer! Sawyer’s really turned this one around, trapping Thespian’s arm!
Hawke: This is an easy way to break an arm if you’re not careful!
How a mute wrestler shows pain is a little hard to tell, but the rest of Thespian’s body language fully depicts that he’s in a world of hurt. The NLW upstart looks for a way out of the hold, but the ropes are a good distance away! The crowd rises to their feet, knowing they might be looking at a submission!
Randy: Sawyer might have this one in the bag!
Hawke: Those arms and hands seem to be the sources of Thespian’s abilities, taking them out might render him defenseless!
Thespian finally gets a hand on the ropes! Referee Joe Mammarella begins his count, forcing Sam Sawyer to release the hold! Sawyer keeps it applied!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
Sam Sawyer releases the hold, then pulls Thespian away from the ropes and hooks the leg!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Kickout!
Hawke: Thespian kicks out at two!
Randy: Sawyer’s looking to put this one away right here!
Sawyer pulls themselves back up to their feet and winds the arm, getting ready to eliminate Thespian from the End of Days tournament. The crowd makes noise as Thespian returns to his feet and turns around, but ducks the running lariat and grabs the right side of Sawyer’s face, covering his own face as well to reveal the Mask of Tragedy! Thespian gives a dejected sigh, before trying to cover the other half of the face as well!
Hawke: Thespian’s trying to unlock Sawyer’s full moveset with the way he’s grabbing Sawyer’s face!
Randy: They’ve gotta get a grip or some kind of coverage, though!
Thespian succeeds! He grabs the left side of Thespian’s face and covers his own face as well to reveal the Mask of Comedy! He gives a jovial laugh for the crowd, before responding with a very stiff slap of his own, using the hand adorned with a crying glove!
Randy: Get theatrically fucked!
Hawke: This is what Thespian does, almost sucking the moves out of his opponents in replicating them!
Sam Sawyer is knocked down to the mat from the brutal impact of their own move! Thespian hooks the leg!
...ONE!
...TWO!
Sawyer gets a shoulder up!
Hawke: Back and forth, back and forth!
Randy: One big move could be the difference for one of these two upstarts, sending the other one packing back home!
The crowd cheers as Thespian looks around… and then decides to start climbing the ropes! This is not a super common thing for the theatrical performer to be doing, which makes it even more surprising as he lines up for the Sawyersault by rotating so he’s facing away from his opponent!
Hawke: Thespian’s up in the high-risk district!
Randy: I don’t like their odds up there, this doesn’t seem smart!
Thespian takes a moment too long to prepare for the move, allowing Sawyer to not only get back to their feet, but to ascend the top turnbuckle with them! The two begin fighting up on the top rope, with neither budging an inch!
Hawke: This could be the end for whoever falls here!
Randy: In that case, you don’t want it to be you!
Sam Sawyer and Thespian are straight-up trading lefts and rights on the top rope, now facing one another. Sawyer stumbles backwards as Thespian gets in a body blow to their lower region, but quickly responds with a knee lift that almost sends Thespian crashing down to the floor on the outside of the ring! Sawyer turns Thespian around again and hooks their arms up, locking them up for a potential dragon suplex off the top rope!
Hawke: Oh this can’t be good!
Randy: Sawyer’s about to drop Thespian right on his head!
Sawyer falls backward, sending Thespian crashing back down onto his head! The crowd cheers the big move!
Hawke: Dragon suplex from the top rope! This one’s over!
Randy: All Sam’s gotta do is pin Thespian!
Sawyer grabs the back of their neck and winces in pain as the crowd continues to react to the big impact. Thespian is not moving as they move in and go for the cover, finally hooking the leg!
Randy: Cover and the count!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR-NO!
Thespian gets a crying finger on the ropes!
Hawke: No, not over! Thespian survives the huge move!
Randy: Sawyer was an inch away from the three there!
Sam Sawyer sits up, putting their hands on their legs, possibly internally screaming at only getting a two count. They shoot a glance at the referee, considering a full-fledged stare, before realizing it may be better to just continue on with trying to win this contest. They draw back into the opposing corner, waiting for Thespian to come back to his senses so they can knock his head off his body.
Hawke: Sawyer’s looking for Fire with Fire, if they hit this, it’s over!
Randy: Call the lady from Thespian’s theater and get her to start singin’!
The crowd is on their feet as Thespian regains his own footing, turning around into a second attempt at the Fire with Fire, only to theatrically limbo underneath, then grab the back of Sawyer’s head! He lifts them up for the inverted suplex, wasting no time to bow for the crowd this time as he brings Sawyer crashing back down into the mat!
Hawke: Take a Bow! No time for showmanship as Thespian hooks the leg!
Randy: This could be it!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE!
Hawke: It is!
Bonnie Jenkins: Here is your winner, advancing onwards in the End of Days Tournament, THEEEEEEEE THESSSSSSSSPIIIIIAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Thespian rises back to his feet, the crying hand raised by the referee as he celebrates his victory!
Hawke: A hell of a match!
Randy: These two battled a close battle, and it’s safe to say the future of both companies is in great hands!
Hawke: Thespian picks up the big win, moving into a no-disqualification match against the winner of tonight’s Awesome vs. Kane match!
Randy: No such luck or fortunate for Sawyer, but the youngster certainly has potential!
Hawke: This next match should be interesting, we have a debuting wrestler here. He is the son of one of the vehicles in CAR.
Randy: You mean drivers? Wait ... this thing is the child of a ... car?
Bonnie Jenkins: The following match is scheduled for one fall…
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Bonnie Jenkins: ...and is a first round match in the End of Days Singles Tournament!
The beat of I Fink U Freeky by Die Antwoord kicks up over the PA. The strange, stilted, haunting rapping of ¥o-Landi Vi$$er starts up as the lights flash and rotate around the crowd.
SEXY BOYS
FANCY BOYS
PLAYBOYS
BAD BOYS
I FINK U FREEKY AND I LIKE YOU A LOT
I FINK U FREEKY AND I LIKE YOU A LOT
I FINK U FREEKY AND I LIKE YOU A LOT
I FINK U FREEKY AND I LIKE YOU A LOT
FANCY BOYS
PLAYBOYS
BAD BOYS
I FINK U FREEKY AND I LIKE YOU A LOT
I FINK U FREEKY AND I LIKE YOU A LOT
I FINK U FREEKY AND I LIKE YOU A LOT
I FINK U FREEKY AND I LIKE YOU A LOT
And then the sting hits, the lights all turn to the entrance gate where the towering behemoth that is H.R. Car-Wolf comes striding out with a grace that totally does not fit with his enormous frame to the joy of the audience.
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing first, standing at seven foot three tall and weighing in at three hundred and eighty-two pounds, AITCH AAAAAR CAAAAAAAAAAR-WOOOOOOOOLF!
Randy: HR Car-Wolf. 50% man 50% Machine 50% Monster.
Hawke: That's 150%
Randy: He's at least one and a half times anyone else on the network. I KNOW MY MATH!
Car-Wolf strides down the ramp, audibly making a thudding sound with every footfall and steps up onto the ring apron before stepping over the ropes into the ring. The referee givwes him a cursory check over before CW backs up to a corner ready to start.
The lights go down and blacklights come up, bathing the stage in purple. A hard, grungy bassline starts to play.
'Hey, turn the bass up. Turn the bass up!'
The base gets louder and grungier, and the lyrics come in as Vodka Fizz dives out on stage in a golf cart retrofitted with huge speakers that are playing his music. He is dressed in a full-length white fur coat, white shutter glasses, and over-the-top white top hat, and as he drives the golf cart down the ramp he toasts fans with a yard-long cocktail flask hung around his neck full of some florescent liquid he drinks from as he drives down the ramp..
BIG DIRTY STINKIN’ BASS!
DIRTY STINKIN’ BASS!
BIG DIRTY STINKIN’ BASS!
DIRTY DIRTY STINKIN’!
BIG DIRTY STINKIN’ BASS!
DIRTY STINKIN’ BASS!
BIG DIRTY STINKIN’ BASS!
BASS BASS BASS BASS!
DIRTY STINKIN’ BASS!
BIG DIRTY STINKIN’ BASS!
DIRTY DIRTY STINKIN’!
BIG DIRTY STINKIN’ BASS!
DIRTY STINKIN’ BASS!
BIG DIRTY STINKIN’ BASS!
BASS BASS BASS BASS!
Hawke: And the man with this monumental challenge, Vodka Fizz.
Randy: That’s a great idea!
Randy takes a sip from a Moscow Mule he has prepared for this very occasion.
Bonnie Jenkins: And his opponent, hailing from Daytona Beach, Florida, he weighed in at two hundred and twenty pounds, VODKA FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZ!
When he gets to ringside, he drapes the fur coat over the seat of the golf cart and removes the top hat, keeping the shades on. he climbs up on the apron, turning to face the crowd and chugging the remnants of his large drink, finally striking a pose and spraying a mouthful of whatever it is up into the air and letting it rain over him. He grins and winks at the camera, then rolls backwards over the ropes into the ring.
END OF DAYS SINGLES TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND MATCH
One Fall Match
H.R. Car-Wolf vs Vodka Fizz
The bell rings and we are underway. Car-Wolf uses his huge rangy legs to close the difference quickly and reaches out, mummy like, to attempt to snag Vodka Fizz into his meaty grasp. Fizz is having none of that, being smart enough not to get crushed by a man, if man is even the right word, almost twice his size. Fizz ducks backwards and fires off a sharp roundhouse kick right to the thick shoulder of Car-Wolf which draws little more than an annoyed grunt from The Spawn That Should Not Be. CW goes in again, looking to rap his arms around Fizz’s small, squishy body but again Fizz backs up and lashes Wolf across the shoulder with a kick, extending his leg to its fullest range to connect with the deltoid of the behemoth. CW rotates his shoulder, reflexively shaking off the blow and goes to the well again, knowing that Fizz is at a disadvantage the second The Monster Amongst Cars can keep him at a close distance and again Fizz weaves and throws his leg high but Car-Wolf turns away from the full impact of the blow and as he spins in place he brings his tail into play, whipping it round and sweeping out Vodka Fizz’s legs, dropping the smaller man to the mat by solidly connecting with his plant leg.
Hawke: It’s been all strikes so far. Who do you think that favors, Randy?
Randy: Well, Jojo, Vodka Fizz is certainly the more technical striker but the power, the sheer power of Car-Wolf is terrifying.
Car-Wolf senses a hint of an advantage and uses his mighty boot to stomp down onto the prone body of Vodka Fizz. Two, three huge downwards boots have Fizz covering up and Car-Wolf bends down and hoists Fizz off the mat with an incredible amount of ease. The Monster grabs for an arm and slings The Vodka Powered Superstar against the ropes with a frightening amount of force then drops to a knee, pushing an arm out so Fizz runs straight into a palm heel strike to the bread basket. VF goes flying, ending in a seated position against the ropes having covered half the distance of the ring after Car-Wolf’s mighty, meaty paw hit him. The Eldritch Abomination backs away to give him the whole width of the ring for a run up and charges, effortlessly dropping to a slide that allows him to slip under the bottom rope, arm extended and catch Vodka Fizz with an almighty sliding clothesline as he flies past.
Hawke: H.R. Car-Wolf is so lithe for a man his size. I’m not sure his opponent was quite aware of The Spawn That Should Not Be’s agility.
Randy: His opponent?
Hawke: Vodka Fizz.
Randy: That’s a great idea!
Taking another sip of Moscow Mule, Randy can be clearly seen in the corner of the shot as H.R. Car Wolf grabs Vodka Fizz by the scruff of the neck and hauls him to the outside under the bottom rope. As Fizz struggles to regain his composure, Car-Wolf lays in almighty overhand punches, each ringing against Fizz’s skull. The Barely Human Horror Show backs away, again giving himself space to hit a huge running move and charges headlong at his smaller opponent, arching a leg out and looking to connect his boot with Fizz’s face but Fizz somehow has enough about himself to flatten down against the matting outside the ring and Wolf’s legs flies past and under the bottom rope. Vodka Fizz takes a few seconds of respite to saunter across to his golf cart and takes a quick swig of some saccharine infused beverage before heading back into the ring on a different side to where Car-Wolf is doing an uncomfortable split. Vodka Fizz waits, allowing Car-Wolf to make his way back up into the ring and, knowing the referee is unsighted, as he faces outwards from ring centre Fizz drops to a knee and waits for The Wolf to get closer before FIRING A SPRAY OF THAT SWEET STICKY ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE UP INTO H.R. CAR-WOLF’S FACE!
Hawke: That’s one way to turn the tide of the match!
Randy: That’s… a shameless waste of alcohol. Still he does have a cart full of it so I guess he doesn’t mind too much. I guess you have to do what you can with a 150lb weight difference.
Vodka Fizz doesn’t waste any time in chopping down the big redwood that’s wavering against him. Stunned and temporarily blinded, H.R. Car-Wolf swings artlessly, attempting to catch Fizz with a wild strike but The Variable Percentage By Volume Warrior lashes low roundhouse kicks at the monster’s legs. After three savage shoot kicks Car-Wolf is on wobbly legs. After five he drops to one knee and now the height difference is gone as Vodka Fizz starts going ham on strikes to the shoulder. Vicious kicks with the instep rain in on Car-Wolf’s huge frame, cracking bone against bone as Fizz’s martial arts training kicks in. Car-Wolf’s arm becomes a little loose and Fizz steps inside and clutches the arm across his chest, falling backwards to the mat DDT style, all the impact going straight to the shoulder.
Hawke: Vodka Fizz has been isolating that shoulder as much as he can during the match.
Randy: It’s a smart strategy. You can’t out power your opponent, you aim to destroy his ability to function. Plus it’s all setting up that deadly Hair Of The Dog What Bit Ya. It doesn’t matter how big and powerful you are, that’s a tap out in anyone’s book.
Sensing an opportunity, Vodka Fizz uses all the strength in his body to drag H.R. Car-Wolf towards the ring ropes and drapes one of the monster’s huge arms over the bottom rope, making sure the crook of his shoulder is resting directly on the rope itself. Fizz uses the top rope to gain a little elevation before coming down with both his feet right across the joint. Wolf doesn’t appear to be showing any pain, he rarely does, but the little grunt that Fizz draws out could be a howling yell of agony from a normal wrestler. Car-Wolf tries to free himself but Fizz offers a sharp kick to his face to stop Wolf from turning his body over and even attempting an escape.
Hawke: That looked nasty.
Randy: Sometimes you’re forced by circumstance to be nasty. When you’re backed against the wall, and you always are against Car-Wolf, you turn to any solution.
Fizz charges the far ropes, working himself up to top speed as he rebounds and drops to mat level, sliding through the bottom rope and apron and grabbing Car-Wolf’s wrist as he flies through, landing outside and snapping Car-Wolf’s arm hard against that steel cable and padding. Voddy hops straight back onto the ring apron and wraps his legs around the loose arm, bending over backwards into a hanging Jujigatame designed personally to do as much damage as he physically can before the referee asks for a break…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIV… Fizz breaks the hold and slithers down to floor level before the referee can disqualify him.
Hawke: Do you need to push the boundaries as hard as Vodka Fizz?
Randy: Good idea!
Randy takes another swig of booze before continuing.
Randy: Well, definitely. Any ounce of advantage you can take against Car-Wolf you grab hold of with both hands and never let it go.
H.R. Car-Wolf is clearly struggling as Vodka Fizz re-enters the ring. Car-Wolf rolls away from the ropes, desperately clutching at the arm that’s been worked over. Vodka Fizz walks over to him and lashes another kick against that shoulder as The Eldritch Abomination gets to his knees. With a primal howl, Car-Wolf begins to shake his head as he draws up a leg beneath him and starts to get up towards a vertical base. Another savage kick. Another howl of pain but Car-Wolf seems intent on getting to a standing position. Another kick but though his arm is drooping most unnaturally Car-Wolf is now standing. Car-Wolf grabs Vodka Fizz with his other hand and looks to rip Fizz away with an Irish Whip but Vodka Fizz plants his feet and wraps around behind his massive opponent and leaps onto The Spawn That Should Not Be’s back, reaching down to lock the injured arm up behind his back and furiously clutching Car-Wolf’s massive head with his other arm.
Hawke: HAIR OF THE DOG WHAT BIT YA! THE CHICKENWING! THE CHICKENWING! THE CHICKENWING!
Randy: This could be it for the massive man-beast-car.
Fighting for air and for control, H.R. Car-Wolf is struggling. Fizz is riding him like a bucking bronco as he attempts to make the enormous Wolf tap to his signature submission hold. It’s obvious that Car-Wolf is fading, the lights beginning to flicker out in his bestial eyes. The referee checks to see if Car-Wolf wants to submit but there is a grunt rather than a concrete yes and so the match is forced to continue. The Car Beast drops to a knee, Vodka Fizz holding on to his finisher for dear life, knowing, hoping that he can win and progress to the next round of the End of Days tournament. Again a check from the referee, again nothing. The Wolf manages to pull his leg back in and stand again but his will to fight is leaving him with every second. Car-Wolf flops, maybe as an instinctive defense, maybe as an act of defiance… BUT HE FALLS STRAIGHT BACKWARDS SANDWICHING VODKA FIZZ BETWEEN HIS NEAR THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUND FRAME AND THE UNFORGIVING CANVAS BELOW! The referee checks Fizz at the bottom of the pile and begins to count!
ONE!
TWO!
THR.. Vodka Fizz squirms himself out of the pinning predicament.
Hawke: Well that’s one way to use your size advantage. I thought Car-Wolf was done for there.
Randy: But the question is, is he in any fit state to capitalize?
Car-Wolf gets to his feet slowly, still trying to get feeling back into his shoulder. Vodka Fizz is back up himself and rears his leg back threateningly, looking to uncork another precision strike. But he discovers the one problem with psychological targeting is it makes your offence a little predictable and The Asphalt Armageddon turns away from the blow, forcing Fizz to step through and leave an opening. With his good arm, Car-Wolf jacks Vodka Fizz up with ease and PLANTS him to the mat with a One Armed Spinebuster. Fizz practically bounces from the force of the impact. Car-Wolf brings the pair back standing by wrenching Fizz up by the hair, lighting up the smaller man’s chest with a couple of fierce palm strikes before stepping in and grasping The Fizzy One’s throat with the hand of his good arm. HRCW lifts Vodka Fizz up and holds him in midair for a good three seconds before jumping a little himself and rotating in the air, SLAMMING VODKA FIZZ TO THE MAT WITH MORE AUTHORITY THAN THE ENTIRE PORT AUTHORITY OF NEW YORK AND NEW JERSEY! Car-Wolf covers…
ONE!
TWO!
TH… FIZZ KICKS OUT!
Hawke: Oh my, that was close. That’s a lucky escape for Vodka Fizz.
Randy: One, great idea, two I wouldn’t count having to stay in a match with H.R. Car-Wolf to be lucky in any way.
As Randy takes his final swig of his drink, H.R. Car-Wolf stands and unfurls his body to its full height. He looks out into the crowd and slaps his knee a couple of times before looking down at Vodka Fizz who looks completely out of it, seeing stars. The Eldritch Engine waits, prowling, stalking his prey with a mind to finish the contest with just one big move. Fizz slowly gets to his feet, rotating round about his axis, staggering into The Hybrid Horror’s range. Car-Wolf waits for Wolf to face away from him and then wheels sharply about in place himself, locking the hooks in to elevate Fizz into a Gory Special.
Hawke: HADLEY’S HOPE BUSTER!
Car-Wolf looks to release and spin into that knockout knee to the face that will spell the end for Vodka Fizz… BUT THAT INJURED ARM COMES BACK TO BITE CAR-WOLF AND FIZZ SLIDES FREE!
Hawke: NO! DENIED BY THE ARM!
Now Fizz knows he cannot let up on the pressure, cannot give H.R. Car-Wolf even a sliver of offence because that will be the match done and dusted. Vodka Fizz lashes his leg into that injured shoulder again, then into Wolf’s midriff, then a SAVAGE kick to Wolf’s calf. Wolf staggers forwards but does not go down. ANOTHER SAVAGE KICK TO THE CALF! Wolf staggers a little more, teetering like he’s on the precipice of a building and attempting not to fall off. ANOTHER SAVAGE KICK! AND ANOTHER ONE! AND ANOTHER ONE! Wolf drops to his knees, unable to remain standing under the pressure of Vodka Fizz’s assault. Fizz rushes the ropes behind Car-Wolf and charges in, landing the point of his knee right into the back of R’lyeh’s Favorite Wrestler’s thick cranium. Car-Wolf collapses forward to the mat and Fizz dives in and takes his back. A bend of the injured arm and a tight grip across his face and Fizz is feeling the chance of victory in his system.
Hawke: HAIR OF THE DOG WHAT BIT YOU!
Randy: This one is grounded too. No chance of getting squished like earlier in the match.
Vodka Fizz knows his ring positioning and uses a little extra torque on that chickenwing to make H.R. Car-Wolf involuntarily turn on the ground, placing his good arm further from the rope. Car-Wolf reaches out anyway but when it’s a 7’3 wrestler being unable to reach, that’s a good amount of distance. Vodka Fizz’s eyes look positively manic as he wrenches as hard as he can, using Car-Wolf’s own head for leverage as he pressure and presses the arm, trying to separate the shoulder of his mighty opponent. The referee goes to check on Car-Wolf and there is a moment’s pause as he expends the last of his energy to attempt to flip the pile, to no avail… There is an audible gasp from the crowd as everyone in the arena knows what’s about to happen…
H.R. CAR-WOLF TAPS HIS TAIL ON THE MAT THREE TIMES TO INDICATE THAT HE IS SUBMITTING! THE REFEREE CALLS FOR THE BELL!
Bonnie Jenkins: The winner of this match, by submission, VOOOOOOOOODKAAAAAA FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZ!
Hawke: What a performance by Vodka Fizz. He went in with a solid game plan and carried it out to perfection.
Randy: But he was always seconds away from defeat from the monstrous Car-Wolf. I think if you ran that match back a thousand times you’d get an even split on the winners.
Hawke: That’s why End of Days is so great. It gives you these interesting match-ups every round. Speaking of interesting matchups, we’ll be back soon for our next contest.
Zooming into the CURE Insurance Arena, Trenton, New Jersey, the camera pans around the arena to show the 8,500 fans in attendance (wearing masks of course) and ready for the next match of XHF End of Days to begin. The camera transitions down to the ring where Bonnie Jenkins has taken her spot in the far right corner, ready to make the introductions.
Bonnie Jenkins: The following match is scheduled for One Fall and is an End of Days first round match! Introducing first, representing Next Level Wrestling… Hailing from Des Moines, Iowa and weighing in tonight at 143 pounds, standing 5 foot 7 inches tall! "Your Parents Favorite HAM and EGGER"…. AL JABRONI!
“Pretty Fly for a White Guy” by the Offspring plays throughout the CURE Insurance arena as the XHF fans blow up out of there seats for their favorite underdog, their parents favorite ham and egger, the enthusiastic and unparalleled Al Jabroni makes his way to the ring. Setting the stage for one of America’s most historic areas, Al Jabroni would be what George Washington was for America during the American Revolution tonight, turning the battle to give America victory. Al Jabroni hoped to find victory against a predator, but more so his enemy for tonight’s End of Days series. Al Jabroni trips entering the ring as his foot catches the ropes; camera cuts quickly to the announcer’s table.
Hawke: The NLW has a wild one in Al Jabroni doesn’t it?
Randy: Jabroni has a heart the size of the sun. He’s always considered an underdog with his limited ring awareness.
Hawke: He’s unorthodox for sure, but that has never stopped Al Jabroni from giving us and the XHF audience his all!
Randy: Tonight he may need to dig deep to find a way to survive his opponent Donzig.
As Al gives the fans his poses in the ring, the music fades out and the lights dim slightly as a spotlight hits the stage.
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing the opponent! He represents himself! Hailing from Parts Unknown… He weighs in this evening at 217 pounds and stands 6 feet tall! He is "The Scourge" ... DONZIG!
The red and white spotlights above the stage entrance scatter along the stage and aisle to the ring before the menacing Donzig appears before the XHF audience. Receiving an overwhelming lack of support as the fans show their displeasure with the Scourge of the XHF, and all that he represents. Donzig was no stranger, with strong showings in the XHF Rumble along with Call to Arms and throughout various companies on the network. Donzig took his time walking the aisle to the ring. A red hue of lights painted the ring a horror-esque scene as Donzig slides under the bottom rope and took his place in the center of the ring. Imposing an intimidating appearance as the masked man who was touring through XHF’s list of companies looking to collect gold. The music fades.
Randy: I would not want to be Al Jabroni tonight.
Hawke: Donzig has the height and weight advantage on Jabroni, but Al is as fast as they come.
Randy: So he should just run around the ring until Donzig is tired?
Hawke: Size isn’t everything Randy.
Randy: Sure…
END OF DAYS SINGLES TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND MATCH
One Fall Match
Donzig vs Al Jabroni
Once both competitors are checked by the referee, the bell sounds. Al Jabroni stays in his corner, waiting for Donzig to make the first move. The menacing appearance of the Scourge shows he has no desire to wait, and rushes in to attack Al with a knee attack. Rolling out of the way at the last minute, Al Jabroni avoids destruction. Donzig stops before he hits the buckles, and turns with a swinging fist, but Jabroni dodges it and strikes Donzig in the side. One, two, three times and Jabroni seems happy with himself before he sees that Donzig is unphased. Headbutt! Donzig’s skull rams Jabroni and sends him to the canvas in a heart beat. Jabroni rolls to his stomach to push himself up, holding his head, but Donzig steps on his back and forces him to the mat. Standing idly on him, Donzig looks at his wrist as though checking the time.
Hawke: Donzig is feeling cocky tonight, and this may come back to haunt him.
Randy: Jabroni could die tonight, so watch what you are saying Joey.
Hawke: I meant that Donzig isn’t treating Al with the respect he deserves.
Randy: Would you? He’s smaller than my ex wives.
Finally stepping off the back, Donzig grabs Jabroni by the neck and lifts him to his feet. From his backside Donzig clenches in an arm under the armpit and around the neck before popping his hips and sending Al Jabroni across the ring with a half Nelson release suplex! Feeling himself, Donzig swipes at his shoulder as though he had dust on it, and casually walks towards Al Jabroni’s body in the far corner. As Donzig approaches, Al is pulling himself up. Spinning Jabroni around, Donzig slams a knee into his gut, causing Jabroni to keel over. Donzig pushes him into the turnbuckles and proceeds to chop his chest viciously, over and over, until the fans in the front row see the blisters appearing on the chest area of Jabroni!
Randy: I don’t know if this is a match or a murder I’m watching.
Hawke: Donzig is taking the skin off Jabroni’s chest with those chops!
Randy: He’s going to need a drinking buddy after tonight Joey. You should get him a stripper.
Finally the onslaught of chops stop and Donzig tilts his head to the side like a dog does when it sees food. Observing the pores that busted open more and more with each chop. Satisfied, he sends Jabroni corner to corner with an Irish whip, following behind him shortly after as he comes rushing in for a clothesline — but Jabroni somehow hits the turnbuckle back first, flips up over the top rope, slips over the rope, and somehow manages to keep his balance on the apron! Donzig smashes the turnbuckle with nobody there, and steps back holding his chest. Jabroni is wide eyed and shocked as much as the rest of the audience, but follows through as he slingshots himself over the top rope at Donzig like a human torpedo! Donzig goes down! Jabroni grabs the leg, covering Donzig.
1..
2-
Throwing Jabroni off him with a push-up, Donzig is not happy that Jabroni landed the first pinfall. Donzig slaps the canvas as he gets up and goes straight for Al Jabroni, but Al is not sticking around and rolls out of the ring. Donzig follows suit, rolling under the bottom rope. Suddenly we see Al Jabroni in a full sprint as he starts to run around the corner post and Donzig chases after.
Randy: Around and around they go.
Hawke: This is one strategy… not a great one, but it’s a strategy.
Randy: Why did Donzig stop?
As Donzig was chasing Al, he notices that Jabroni didn’t look backwards and kept going around the ring. Donzig ducks down near a turnbuckle as Al Jabroni makes a lap around the ring, running as though his life depended on it.
BAAAM!
Clotheslining the head off Jabroni! Donzig pops up as Jabroni rounded his corner and turns him inside out, sending the NLW member in the air with a 360 motion before landing on his chest on the outside. Donzig grabs him by the tights, lifts him up and tosses Jabroni on the apron. Pushing him into the ring before climbing the apron himself.
Hawke: That’s what I meant by not a good plan.
Randy: Donzig is a sharp tool in a very damaged shed Joey. This might have just encouraged him to get creative.
Hawke: These fans would love that. Al however… *gulps*
Now in the ring, Donzig slaps the back of Jabroni as he rakes it with his fingernails. The scratch marks trickle little bits of blood, showing they broke the skin. Jabroni yells in pain and Donzig relishes it, grabbing his neck and lifting him up. Placing Jabroni’s head between his thighs in a piledriver position, Donzig hoists him up on his shoulders and runs with Jabroni across the ring - going for a buckle bomb in the far corner.
Randy: HOLY SHIT!
Hawke: Where in the world did that come from?
As Donzig lets go, we see Jabroni’s upperbody go forward but his legs grab the head of Donzig and his body swings down, hurracarana to Donzig into the middle turnbuckle! Donzig hits face first as Al Jabroni barely escapes what might have been his fate. Al is as astounded as anyone else watching, his eyes the size of an owls and unsure what to do. Donzig regains his stance, but he’s staggering. Jabroni spins him around and throws a poke to the eyes, but the mask blocks it -- he forgot.
Randy: Oh no…
Hawke: Donzig is shaking his head at Al… this isn’t good.
Kick to the gut, DOUBLE ARM DDT! Donzig plants Al Jabroni with an impact that shakes the ring. But instead of going for the pinfall, Donzig snatches Jabroni off the canvas once more. Hoisting him into the air by his throat, Donzig holds Jabroni up, choking him with both hands.
Hawke: This is hard to watch… I don’t want to see Jabroni take it anymore, just tap out and fight another day.
Randy: Donzig doesn’t have respect for Al Jabroni.
Hawke: The referee should stop this before we have to do another memorial show.
Donzig drops Jabroni to his feet and shoves him into the ropes. On rebound Jabroni trips and with some luck misses Donzig’s double axe handle swinging strike. Jabroni tumbles into a roll and regains his composure at the middle rope. Turning around he sees Donzig rushing at him with a foot that plants him right in the face! Jabroni lays on the middle rope facing the crowd, dazed and glazed like a hippie after a Grateful Dead’s concert. Donzig comes up from behind him, grabbing the arm and pulling Jabroni off the rope into another irish whip -- but he doesn’t let go of the arm, instead he pulls him back -- DONZIG STUNNER!
Hawke: Jabroni’s down!
Randy: And out!
Donzig hooks the leg, as he plants one hand on the face of Jabroni and shoves it to the side and goes for the pinfall.
1..
2..
3..
Bell sounds and Donzig pushes off the face of Jabroni and stands up. Using his boot, he shoves the Favorite Ham and Egger out of the ring. Donzig turns to the referee and demands the arm raise, which the referee is hesitant to come towards him and do -- but with trepidation, finally does.
Bonnie Jenkins: Winner of this match via pinfall, DONZIG!
The music of the Scourge screams over the sound system as the referee drops out of the ring to check on Al Jabroni. Donzig stood tall in the ring as fans shared a mixed reaction towards the win he secured here tonight at XHF End of Days 2021.
Hawke: We got two J-ROK stars up next contending for the shot in the next round of EOD.
Randy: We got lucky Hawke. Best odds for us as we guarantee a guy in the quarter finals!
Hawke: You're lucky Sniper jumped ship to J-ROK.
Randy: Kira makes them money moves baby. Money money, yeah yeah!
Bonnie Jenkins: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!
Fans: ONE FALL!
Bonnie Jenkins: And is a first-round match in the End of Days tournament! First, from Hokkaido, Japan. Standing 6'3" and weighing 218 pounds. "The King of Hokkaido" DYLAN BLACK!
"A SPECIAL PLACE IN HEEEEEEEE-E-E-E-ELLLLLL!"
The lights flash green as the riffs to Reid Henry’s hit new single hits the PA system, uplifting and electric! The curtains between the wrestling word and gorilla open up and Dylan pushes his way through them! He pauses, posing for the crowd before strolling down the ramp ever so casually. Dylan rolls under the bottom ropes and holds his hands up in the ring, creating a small lightning arc! He gestures in the boos from those in attendance and just gives off the biggest smirk before he slinks into his corner.
Randy: Dylan has the month of his life lined up for him! If he plays his cards perfectly, he could end the month as J-ROK Visual Kai and End of Days winner!
Hawke: The field is huge enough that Dylan has a very big challenge ahead of him. Also, he won't beat STRiFE. Nobody beats STRiFE. LOLZ.
Bonnie Jenkins: And his opponent, from Parris Island, South Carolina. Standing 6'2" and weighing 217 pounds. He is ... JOHNNY SNIPER!
The video screen shows a low angled shot of a pristine white title floor a pair of black boots. The boots move towards the camera as it pulls back, until the boots stop and turns to the left, the camera then pans up and frames the face of a young man.
"Aye Sir!" The young man yells.
The camera then shows another face. "Aye Sir!" this on yells.
It then shows another face. "NO Sir!"
Another face. "Yes Sir!"
The camera then pulls back to the show the full room. A group of boot camp recruits stand at attention in front of the beds. Their Drill Instructor takes two steps towards the front of the room. "What Do We Do!"
"Fall In Line, Sir!"
"I Can't Here You!"
"Fall In Line, Sir!"
"Now Let me See Your Warface!"
The recruits yell as the video cuts, as the lights go out.
"Fall back in line
(Fall back in line)
Now is the time / To open your eyes"
(Fall back in line)
Now is the time / To open your eyes"
Is heard in the darkness as the light come back on Johnny Sniper is seen standing on stage. He face changes from a smile to one of pure anger, as he marches down to the ring and get right in the face of Dylan, almost begging them to hit him.
Hawke: Sniper's in for the ride of his life!
Randy: These two have been at odds for a while and are finally coming to blows tonight!
END OF DAYS SINGLES TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND MATCH
One Fall Match
Dylan Black vs Johnny Sniper
The match starts with Sniper and Dylan charging each other and just laying into one another in the middle of the ring. Lefts and rights, absolute bombs tossed at each other! Dylan manages to get the upper hand because, yaknow metal fists and all. He beats Sniper into a corner and delivers a series of chops to the former marine! WOO! WOO! WOO- Sniper reverses a chop! He begins to chop his way out of the corner, turning Dylan's chest into a beet red color!
Randy: Shades of our lord and savior Kris Quake! Woooooo! Stylin' and profilin' these guys are!
Sniper begins to lay into Dylan with other strikes, backing Dylan into a corner of his own! Dylan tries to fight back but gets subdued by the maniacal fighting style of Sniper. He nails a heart punch on Dylan but Dylan just grins, he's basically all robot and that does nothing! A headbutt from the former X*Crown Champ sends Sniper flying ass over tit and Dylan strikes him with a basement dropkick to keep him down on the mat!
Hawke: Neither man wants to give the other an inch of wiggle room to work with!
With Sniper down, Dylan mounts him and begins to just beat the shit out of him! Sniper's face gets pounded into a pile of hamburger meat via Dylan's mechanized fists! Dylan stands up but Sniper grabs an ankle. Dylan just smiles and disconnects that leg from it's socket! He them jumps and drops an elbow on Sniper's heart! Sniper rolls over, but still holds Dylan's leg as he rolls away and then swings the leg at Dylan! Dylan hops out of the way, and Sniper tosses the leg to the outside to a chorus of boos!
Randy: What a despicable asshole!
Sniper charges Dylan and tackles him to the ground, locking his one good limb, his left leg into an ankle lock! Grapevining around the leg and twisting and torquing! Dylan screams in pain and tries to get out but alas he cannot. He reaches out a hand and grabs Sniper's arm, and Sniper lets go with a yelp! We see little traces of electricity travel around Sniper's body as he convulses on the ground. Dylan rolls out of the ring and grabs his leg, reconnecting it and after a minute or two coming back into the ring! But Sniper is already on his feet by this time! They stand a few feet apart before charging one another once more!
Hawke: Watch out watch out WATCH OUT!
Randy: Oh I can't look!
Sniper rears back and goes for a KILLSHOT! But Dylan moves aside and grabs Sniper by the hair and swipes his legs out, knocking him to the ground. Dylan holds him still by he hair and roars, before stomping his face on the mat. Dynamic Outro! He rolls Sniper over and covers him for a pin! He gets the three! The bell rings!
Bonnie Jenkins: The winner of this match and advancing to round 2 of the End of Days tournament, DYLAAAAAAAAAAAAAN BLACK!
Hawke: Damn, Dylan went all out with his book of tricks to come out victorious tonight!
Randy: I fear this may be the easiest part of the road to trek. It only gets harder from here.
Hawke: It always does.
Randy: Next up we have yet another End of Days first round match!
Hawke: Buddy, all of the matches tonight are first round matches.
Randy: But this one is special! A returning XHFer against a modern Network classic!
Hawke: Nevermind the fact Brad Kane returns to fight Steve Awesome in the main event...
Randy: Shh, the show's about to start!
Bonnie Jenkins: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is an End of Days first round match! Making his way out first from "The skies" he is here to...ugh....HURRI-SAVE the XHF Network.....THE HURRICANE!
"STAND BACK! THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH!"
The arena lights glow neon green as the fans rise to their feet to welcome XHF's resident superhero! As soon as the epic music of "Eye of the Hurricane" by Jim Johnston begins, Hurricane WHOOSHES out from the curtains and onto the stage. He hits centerstage where he stands inside his logo and does his signature pose. He points out to the small fans in the front row. Atop his head sits his manager and sidekick, The Purricane! He mews at the crowd as his mini cape flows in the wind of motion from the superhero. Hurricane slaps hands with all the fans on the way down and then runs up the steps and stops on the apron. He looks around the crowd and then does his signature pose. Purricane leaps onto the top turnbuckle and poses, while Hurricane bounds over the ropes in a single ... bound ... and spins to the center of the ring, cape flowing. He poses in the center of the ring as the referee removes Purricane to the timekeeper's custody. Hurricane lets his cape fall to the mat and then gives a thumbs up, ready to fight.
Randy: Wooo! Former XHF Tag Team Champion The Hurricane is in the house!
Hawke: Gregory Helms has come in with a special deal to compete in the End of Days tournament! What a treat!
Randy: Whaaaat? You telling me measly, weak and pathetic reporter Gregory Helms could POSSIBLY be the masculine, heroic Hurricane? Nonsense!
Hurricane: Yeah Hawke, WASSUPWIDAT?!
Randy: Ahh!
Bonnie Jenkins: And his opponent, he is the owner of FIRESIDE and hails from Philadelphia, he is........ANTHONY CAFFREY!
"My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark" hits the arena speakers and a loud pop from the crowd comes soon after. It only gets louder in the arena as the man himself passes through the curtain. His look of pride indicates that these fans tonight are his people. His black and purple tights have a Purple Emperor on the back, a symbol representing the tag team of the same name. Once Caffrey makes it down to the ring, giving his best version of a socially-distanced fist bump to as many fans as possible, his mood changes when he reaches the ring steps. He locks eyes with his opponent and reaches down, tapping his ankle. The fans join along in the motion as Caffrey signals for the Process, one of the all-time submissions in XHF history, by miming breaking his opponent's ankle in half as if it were a simple wishbone. He hands his glasses off to the timekeeper. He does a few last minute stretches, knowing not to underestimate his opponent.
Hawke: Former Rumble winner, X*Crown Champion and XHF Tag Team Champion Anthony Caffrey in the house! Hoping to make it through the tournament to wrestle in the house that Anthony Caffrey built!
Randy: He's got a lot of competition to get through, and the Hurricane is no joke!
Hawke: Yes he is.
END OF DAYS SINGLES TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND MATCH
One Fall Match
Anthony Caffrey vs The Hurricane
DING DING! DING DING!
Caffrey and Hurricane meet in the center of the ring, coming in hot with a collar-and-elbow tie up! They're both roughly the same build so neither is able to get an advantage. But Caffrey the tactician that he is, sweeps Helms' legs out from underneath him! Caff takes the time to utilize some moves on Hurricane. Really nailing some twisting techniques and working on the ankles of Hurricane! Helms tries to kick Caff off but like a shark in water, Caff is laser focused on the superhero of his childhood! Hurricane does wiggle free and shakes the pain out of his leg, before delivering some superhuman-fast punches! He grabs Caff by the throat, going for this already? Caff just looks down at him and laughs, but Hurricane stares at him with intense superhuman intensity and HURRICHOKESLAMS THE LIFE OUT OF CAFFREY! CAFF ROLLS OVER ON THE GROUND COUGHING AS HELMS' FLEXES TO THE CAMERAS!
Randy: HOLY CRAP! NEVER HAVE I EVER SEEN HURRICANE NAIL HIS CHOKESLAM ON ANYONE!
Hawke: Actually, my sources say he did indeed chokeslam a few people before. Notably, Crash Holly-
Randy: NONSENSE! NEVER IN MY LIFE! WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS!
Hawke: It's not that big of a-
Randy: THE CHOLESLAM HEARD AROUND THE WORLD!
With the Hurricane now somehow firmly in control, he delivers some sweet justice to Caff for the threats made against him in the leadup to this match. Lots of silly offense as he bashes Caffrey around like an episode of the Batman TV Series! SOCK! POW! ZOK! BIFF! OOOOOOF! Caff lays defeated in a heap as Hurricane poses! But the match isn't over! Caff gets lifted, then goes up-and-over via X-Plex! He smacks into the corner as Hurricane nails him with a cannonball! A Hurricannonball, if you will! He runs to the opposite corner and goes for another, but Caff rolls out of the way! Helms connects back first to the turnbuckles, and flops backwards to a standing position, only for Caff to run by catch him with a chopblock!
Randy: No! Hurricane falls!
Hawke: Caffrey showing him the strengths of the former X*Crown Champion!
Hurricane gets knocked loopy as Caffrey drops him with a neckbreaker! He doesn't go far, as Hurricane gets locked in a headlock! Caff sits there, ruffling Helm's hair for a second before smacking him down on the mat! A few well places stomps have Helm's trying to crawl away but Caff knows just how versatile Hurricane is, he drags him back and stomps on his ankle for good measure! Hurricane cries out as his ankle gets stamped and Caff just flashes the camera that thousand yard smile! He knows just where he is and how to pick apart Hurricane a thousand ways! Hurricane is getting to his feet, being careful to not put any weight on his recently-stomped ankle but Caff catches up to him! Caffrey Irish whips Hurricane to the corner and pauses for a breather, before marching over and pulling up his elbow pad.
Hawke: Caffrey wants to set something up, he wants to seal the deal right now!
Caffrey goes to grab Hurricane by the head and deliver some Closing Remarks to the hero, but Helms does the splits! He ducks under the bullhammer and puts a thumb in Caffrey's eye! Yeow! As Caff's blinded, Hurricane irish whips him into the ropes and hits him with a Hurricane Press on the rebound! Driving his fists into Caff's head, he's giving Caff everything in the books! Hurricane climbs the nearest set of ropes and jumps off, nailing Caff with a splash! He makes a pin, but can only secure a two-count! Caff still has some in the tank, even posing like a French girl! Hurricane dropkicks him for the taunting manner and makes another pin, this time getting two-and-a-half! So close!
Randy: Hurricane is taking everything Caffrey gave him and is dishing it back! How will Tony recover?
Hurricane rolls his neck, scooching back to a corner to push himself up. He picks Caffrey up and holds him in an inverted facelock, HE'S GOING FOR IT! EYE OF THE HURRICANE! NO! CAFFREY ROLLS ALL THE WAY THROUGH AND PUSHES HIM OFF, SPINS AROUND HIMSELF, NAILS HURRICANE ATOP THE HEAD WITH CLOSING REMARKS! DOWN GOES HURRICANE, LIKE A SACK OF TATERS! Caffrey simply rolls Hurricane onto his stomach and slaps on The Process! But Hurricane is out! He ain't responding! The ref gives him the obligatory 3 count of raising his hand and dropping it, but we knew this was done 51 words ago.
DING DING! DING DING!
Bonnie Jenkins: The winner of this match by submission, and advancing to the next round of the End of Days tournament, ANTHONYYYYYYY CAFFREY!
Hawke: I guess he'll recover like that! Caff just bludgeoning Hurricane and sending him right back to North Carolina!
Randy: So long to XHF original Hurricane! Nice to see you again, thanks for stopping by!
Hawke: This leaves us just a few more opening round matches to be contested, stay tuned folks!
Randy: Ok I am ready for some more action Joey. And this one should be spicy.
Hawke: One has to wonder if Adrien and his protégé did something to annoy the gods of iron because they seem to keep fighting people with a knack for stabbing people.
The lights turn off for a moment. The dueling guitar riffs from Simple Plan guitarists Sébastien Lefebvre and Jeff Stinco from their song “Last One Standing” as the screen reads “#Believe” in a light blue font. With a solitary spotlight on the top of the ramp, Adrien Cochrane appears the moment Pierre Bouvier’s vocals begin to echo throughout the venue.
“How many times are you gonna try to shut me out?
I told you once, told you twice, I ain't going to turn back around
You can say whatever, try to mess with me
I don't care, I'm not scared
You don't have to say you're sorry, save your sympathy
With a friend like you, I don't need an enemy
I would give you time if you were worth it
But guess what, you're not worth it”
I told you once, told you twice, I ain't going to turn back around
You can say whatever, try to mess with me
I don't care, I'm not scared
You don't have to say you're sorry, save your sympathy
With a friend like you, I don't need an enemy
I would give you time if you were worth it
But guess what, you're not worth it”
Bonnie Jenkins: From New Orleans, Louisiana, weighing in at one hundred ninety pounds, he is "The Dropkick King" ... ADRIEN COCHRANE!!
Cochrane looks at the fans from the ramp for a moment, giving a smile as he makes his way down the ramp and to the ring, hitting as many high fives and fist bumps as he can on his way to his destination. As Adrien leaps over the ropes to enter the squared circle and removes his black leather jacket to expose his #Believe shirt, he leans on the ropes with his fist in the air to the sound of the chorus.
“Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, I'm always going to be the last one standing
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, because I'm never going to give up trying
And now I'm ready to go, I'm here, I'm waiting for you
And I'm going be the last one standing”
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, because I'm never going to give up trying
And now I'm ready to go, I'm here, I'm waiting for you
And I'm going be the last one standing”
Hawke: Well here is the former X*Crown champion. Looking for a reversal of fortunes in this tournament.
Randy: Watch out for the needles that this lady throws man.
“Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies hits the speakers as Adrien leaps up and down in the ring. A spotlight illuminates the stage as Esmeralda von Krauss slowly saunters onto the stage. She smirks from behind her blonde bangs and tosses her hair back as she lights an Egyptian cigarette. She strolls to the ring with long, confident strides befitting an Amazon warrior. She climbs up the steps and blows smoke in the ref’s face as he holds the ropes open for her. She slinks between the ropes and gives a look of malice and haughty derision to her opponent.
Bonnie Jenkins: And his opponent, from Cologne, Germany. At 6 feet 3 inches and 145 pounds, she is Esmeralda von Krauss!
Hawke: I would not want to be on her bad side, Randy.
Randy: Isn’t Adrien’s wife foreign? Similar name too? He should be fine.
Hawke: That’s … not how this works.
Randy: Isn’t it? *sips from a sake bottle*
END OF DAYS SINGLES TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND MATCH
One Fall Match
"The Cajun Sensation" Adrien Cochrane vs Esmeralda von Krauss
The bell rings and the two begin to circle each other. The taller Esmeralda gracefully slinks in for an attack. Adrien is taken off guard and by surprise by a kick from the lanky legs of the baroness. She ruthlessly attacks with a spinning backfist. Adrien spins to the mat and then forward rolls out of dodge. He looks at her, scouting how he is going to attack. He charges in but she lifts a leg for a boot to the face. The Cajun sensation slides underneath and pulls out the other leg sending her to her knees. She arches her back and catches his attempt to penalty kick her in the spine. She tuts him and clicks her tongue. Adrien pulls his leg free and allows her to get back to a vertical base.
Hawke: What an unusual anomaly EVK is in the ring. She is tall and lanky, but with a power striker style.
Randy: I knew she was the top in the relationship.
Hawke: I don’t care if you are right, I don’t want Armand to kill us, so shut up.
Adrien looks to find a rhythm and shake the streak of bad results he’s been on. EVK simply wants to make him bleed and come out on top. She strafes around him. He throws a pair of quick kicks to the calves of the lady of justice. EVK smirks at him, and Adrien stalls long enough to get irish whipped. He leaps to the middle rope and springs off with a spinning heel kick. He catches her in the jaw and sends her to the mat. Wasting little time, the pride of New Orleans pounces with a jackknife pin.
ONE!
Kickout.
Von Krauss rolls to her feet and grunts in anger. With little respite, she eats a dropkick to the chest sending her sprawling to the mat. Adrien pushes his advantage with a standing moonsault.
ONE!
Kickout!
Hawke: Now this is the pace the former X*Crown champ needs to keep. He may outweigh his opponent but he has the speed and aerial advantage here.
Randy: Until she clips his wings.
Adrien pulls her to her feet and she pulls him down with a jaw breaker. Adrien grabs his jaw but she stands up, headbutting him in the bottom of the jaw. He spins away holding his mouth. He spits a small bit of blood, having bit his tongue. The sinister femme fatale grasps his my his cheeks and slams his face into her other elbow. Adrien stumbles away as his lips are now cut too. Esmeralda wipes a drop of blood from her face and laughs. She moves in for a hard slap to the face. Sensing the disrespect a mile away, the original guardian blocks her hand and then the follow up with the other hand, using his forearms to connect with her wrists. He grabs her left arm and spins her to the mat with an arm wringer. He then does a forward roll, holding the wrist, and yanks on the torqued arm before dropping a leg on the shoulder.
Randy: I think she felt that one.
Hawke: Von Krauss rolling away and shaking out that left arm.
Adrien takes a minute to wipe his mouth and sigh, as yet another opponent is seeing him bleed. Krauss comes at him and he checks a kick with a knee of his own. He then catches her with a monkey flip. He kips up and as she angrily rolls to her knees, he plants a dropkick square in the face. Esmeralda grabs the middle rope to pull herself up. Adrien charges but she drops and back body drops him to the floor. Adrien arches his back and shouts in pain.
Randy: Cochrane is enjoying the scenic floor in front of our desk.
Hawke: Enjoying is a strong word.
Cochrane pulls to his feet and turns to face his assailant. She leans through the ropes and blisters him with an elbow strike. Adrien stumbles and plants his hands on the announce table to stop his momentum. The German assassin slinks out of the ring through the bottom ropes. She drops down behind Adrien. He senses this coming and dodges to the floor as a needle flies by him … and embeds itself in Randy Angel’s right shoulder. He casually sips some sake and shrugs.
Hawke: HOLY SHIT SHE TRIED TO KILL HIM WITH A NEEDLE … TO .. the … aren’t you feeling that?
Randy: This? Pfft I’ve had worse. I just met Cthulhu. Nice guy.
Hawke: … Really?
Randy: No, he’s an asshole. He banned me from talking to him again!
Adrien eyes up the needle in Randy as he scoots on his bottom away from the insane amazon. Esmeralda just blows him a kiss and smirks. The referee leans out to check on what happened, he doesn’t seem to notice the needle. Adrien pushes to his feet as Esmeralda approaches. He grasps her shirt and yanks her forward. She stumbles but catches herself before she hits the steel steps. At least she does until Adrien dropkicks her in the spine sending her left shoulder into the steps. The ref is up to a five count. Adrien rolls into the ring and takes a second to compose himself. Esmeralda grabs her left shoulder in pain and glowers at Adrien, eyes full of malice aforethought.
Hawke: She looks like she wants to murder him.
Randy: That’s her secret Captain, she always wants to murder everyone.
Adrien runs off the opposing ropes. He leaps through the top ropes with a diving clothesline. He immediately pushes to his feet and grabs EVK. He hooks her head and hits a snap suplex on the floor. He stands up and shouts to the crowd who erupt in cheers. He beckons her to get up. She slams her hands on the floor in a rage. Adrien is a bit backed up by this surge of energy. But he positions himself. ADRIEN CUTTER!
Randy: Uh … is she supposed to stay standing for this move?
Hawke: No. She managed to hold Adrien in midair. And now he has his feet planted on our table.
Sure enough, Adrien has his arms on her head in the ¾ facelock, but his legs are pushing against the announce table as von Krauss blocks his cutter. She slips her arms under his and yanks him away from the table and into a cobra clutch. Adrien flails for a moment before she lifts him to slam him. He throws his legs out and pushes off the table again, using his momentum to flip over her and drop her with a sitout reverse bulldog. He slinks back to the ring to hold his neck.
Hawke: The work on the shoulder clearly hampered Esmeralda there.
Adrien waits for her to climb the apron before charging her. She drops to the floor. He goes through the middle ropes again but she swings a mighty bullhammer elbow … and hits air. Adrien had grabbed the ropes and executed a feint. He then springboards off the ropes looking for the Crescent City Connection! EVK has his moves scouted however and falls back letting Adrien crash to the floor. He holds both his knees in agony as she slinks in behind him and puts a boot to his throat and pushes. The ref leans out of the ring and admonishes her.
One!
Two!
Three!
Four!
Fi-she releases the choke.
Adrien sputters and spits on the floor. A small bit of blood from biting his tongue spilling out.
Randy: Is it me or does it seem like she has every one of his signature moves scouted?
Hawke: She has an army of people to send for info. She probably has his moveset, his history, his preference in undergarment, and his sexual kinks all committed to memory.
Randy: … Wait … are we sure I’m the drunk one tonight?
The crazed matriarch grabs the back of the Cajun sensation’s neck and pulls him up. She points his head at the announcers and uses her fingers to force him to smile before slamming his face off the desk. She sidles to the ring and rolls inside then back out to break the count at 8 and reset it. Adrien now holds his knees in his left arm and his mouth in his right. EVK shakes out her own worked over left shoulder and then grabs Adrien again. She hauls him towards the ring before hooking him in a northern lights position and slams him back first into the ring apron with a charge. The original Guardian shouts in pain. She rams him again. Now she rolls him into the ring and rolls in herself. He scurries across the ring and uses the far ropes to pull himself to his knees. She grabs him in a hammerlock. He grabs the ropes and pulls himself forward and then back to launch her off of him. He turns and runs right into a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker. EVK stomps on his left knee three times before dropping into a cover.
ONE!
TWO!
Adrien kicks out.
Randy: She is just ruthless. Like she only knows how to kill instead of wrestle.
Hawke: Sounds accurate …
She pulls the dropkick king to his feet. He breaks the grapple and hits a standing dropkick to the left shoulder. EVK shouts in pain and anger. She spins but doesn’t fall. She brings the point of her elbow across his mouth again, staining his teeth red. Adrien buckles over and gets an axe kick for his troubles.
ONE!
Kickout.
Von Krauss blinks and then slowly stands and gets in the ref’s personal space. She politely, and maliciously, informs him to count faster. He gulps but backs away. Adrien spins her around, but with the ref distracted, she connects with a knee strike to the testicles. Adrien buckles to his knees. A series of palm strikes to the collarbones rattles the former champ. She headbutts him and then climbs on top.
One!
Two!
Foot on the ropes.
Hawke: Adrien is not handling the precise and powerful strikes of EVK well at all.
Randy:I don’t think he understood what he was getting into. But he wants to fix that streak of his, and his heart is as big as anyone’s! … Probably should see a doctor I hear that’s a hazard.
EVK sighs and shakes her head. Clearly he is not getting the memo to give up. She slowly pulls him up. Out of desperation, Adrien grabs the left arm and yanks it toward his neck. He puts up his right leg and delivers an eat defeat, wrenching that left arm hard as he does. In shock and pain, Esmeralda recoils and falls to the mat. Adrien rolls away from her and catches his breath in the corner. She slowly stands up, holding her left arm, which at this point just dangles there. She turns to glare at him. Adrien amps himself up, tests his knees, and then charges. EVK charges at him going for a spear! But Adrien leaps up and hits a double stomp to the back as she attacks. He lands with all his weight on her back and left shoulder. Adrien rolls off of her holding his knees as EVK screams bloody murder and reaches her right arm over to grab her left shoulder.
Hawke: What an amazing high flying counter assault from the dropkick king.
Adrien slowly gathers his strength and rolls on top and hooks the leg.
ONE!
TWO!
TH-kickout from EVK!
Randy: I thought he had her with that creative counter maneuver! *he gulps an entire concession beer.*
Adrien slowly uses the ropes to pull to his feet. He shakes out his knees. Esmeralda is writhing on the mat. Adrien beckons her to stand up. She slowly gets to her feet. And gets dropkicked into the ropes. And on the return. He catches her for the Adrien Cutter! But she again blocks it and gets him in a half nelson before spinning him out and into a knee strike to the face. Adrien stumbles to a seated position. She then blasts him with a running palm strike to the nose.
One!
Two!
Kickout!
Adrien rolls under the bottom rope. Von Krauss grabs her left arm in agony. She begins cursing at Adrien under her breath and psyching herself up. Adrien waits for her to approach before he catches her with a jaw breaker! She hunches over in pain. Adrien stands and grabs at her only to get a leaping palm strike uppercut to the jaw!
Hawke: OH! JUSTICE FROM OUTTA NOWHERE!
Randy: I think she Mortal Kombat-ted his head into the front row. And no Akuma in sight!
Adrien is sprawled out on the mat. Esmeralda slowly moves into a cover but can only hook one leg with her right arm.
ONE!
TWO!
Adrien gets a foot on the ropes.
EVK shrieks in anger and piles him up in a Japanese leg roll pin.
ONE!
TWO!
THRE-Adrien somehow kicks out.
Randy: Where is he finding the drive to keep going?
EVK rolls to her feet and glares at him. She looks ready to murder him. She slides another needle from up her sleeve into her hand. This time the ref catches it and grabs her arm. He pulls the needle away and warns her that there are rules! She scoffs and dismisses him. Adrien rolls to his feet behind her. And as she turns, he leaps up. Flying armbar! He then torques her to the mat and locks in the cross armbreaker on that left arm. She grabs her left hand with her right to prevent the full move from being locked in. Adrien pulls and fights but she won’t let go. He slams his leg down on her chest. This elicits a cough and a sputter but she holds tight.
Hawke: An Ishnari classic move attempt here. That cross armbreaker, or jujigatame, has put many people to bed here in XHF.
Randy: Didn’t Ishnari tap Death Trap with that arm breaker … twice?
Hawke: Why yes!
Adrien slams his leg down again. The whole time they fight, EVK is using every movement to inch to the ropes. Finally her grip weakens and Adrien pries her hands apart and falls back, fully locking in the armbar. He pulls hard, and the German shrieks in his grip. The ref however calls for a break. And on three Adrien relents. He rolls to his feet and asks the ref what the hell. The ref points to Esmeralda’s right foot on the bottom rope.
Randy: Oh so close for Adrien.
Adrien wastes no momentum and pulls her from the ropes and locks in a fujiwara armbar! Esmeralda manages to use her right arm to push his feet out and then is able to roll him back in the inside cradle.
ONE!
Kickout by Adrien.
They roll to their feet and Adrien again locks in the ¾ facelock! And again EVK scouts it and slams him to the mat with a half nelson facebuster. She mocks him, asking when he’ll learn she has all his moves on lock? She tries for an axe kick but the Cajun sensation avoids it and then rolls to his feet. He dodges a spear and charges the opposite ropes. He springs off the middle rope with a dropkick on her return. He then moves back to the ropes and steps through to the apron. He shouts to the crowd, “CRESCENT CITY CONNECTION!”
Hawke: Well that’s not good strategy!
Randy: Calling out your attacks works in Dragonball Z, Joey. Adrien has clearly gone full weeb and channeled his inner JROK.
EVK rolls to her feet. Adrien springs to the top and leaps. EVK immediately gets in position to catch the knees and wreck the fool. But Adrien doesn’t use his signature attack. He instead catches her in a hurricanrana position before swinging onto her left arm and dropping back into that cross armbreaker!
Hawke: THE BAIT AND SWITCH! Adrien has the submission locked in!
Randy: And right in the center of the ring!
Adrien torques hard. The crowd begins to chant his name. EVK looks for any escape but eventually has to tap out to save her injured left appendage!
DING DING DING!
Bonnie Jenkins: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by submission, and advancing to the quarterfinals of the End of Days tournament on October 10 … THE DROPKICK KING! ADRIEN COCHRANE!
Hawke: What an inspired finish!
Randy: He figured out he had to cross her up and boy howdy did he. What a creative match Adrien fought to overcome the monster that is Esmeralda von Krauss!
Bonnie Jenkins: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a match in the round one End of Days tournament. Featuring first the challenger…”the Buckeye Bruiser” Redmond Fury!
The melodic voices of En Vogue act as a siren's call, beckoning the audience to crowd around the aisle, before the mad lyrical flow of Salt-N-Pepa cue up the pyro. White sparks explode across the entrance curtain. Whatta Man pumps over the PA system, accompanying visuals over the tron featuring impossibly ripped muscles glistening with sweat. If it was any other wrestler, this theme song might seem conceited. Out of the back steps Redmond Fury to the delight of his fans. Moving with the tune, Fury slaps hands, signs autographs, busts moves, all while taking the time to flex for the camera.
Hawke: The Phoenix champion looking to make a name for himself by being Phoenix champion and X*Crown champion at the same time.
Randy: I don’t care what kind of constitution he has. I don’t think he can do it.
Hawke: If there’s anyone who can. It’s probably Redmond Fury.
Randy: I don’t think so. I mean, I agree that he might be able to keep the Phoenix title, but I think he will have used up too much energy to be able to win the main deal.
Bonnie Jenkins: And his opponent, Rob Riot!
"I Feel You" by Depeche Mode bursts through the arena PA as the entrance ramp is bathed in red and white lights spotlights. They arc and twist over the ramp, waiting to pick out Rob Riot. Just as the vocals kick in, Riot steps through the curtains, twirling his long black ring jacket behind him as he does. He takes a moment to soak in the crowd's response, nodding to himself as he does, before turning his attention to the ring. Raising one arm and clenching his fist in the air, Riot walks down to the ring, now oblivious to the crowd around him. He's all business. He walks around the ring once and takes his time to climb up the steps, walking half way along the ring and wiping his feet before he steps through the ropes.
Hawke: I hear that Rob Riot plans on taking the X*Crown to the “other network” if he wins it since he’s still with NPW.
Randy: I don’t know if that’s something that will be allowed. I think he signed a contract stating that he will have to defend the X*Crown here in the XHF Network while he has the title.
Hawke: But still, it would be like a big “Screw You” to the XHF Network that the “other network” won the greatest prize in the land.
END OF DAYS SINGLES TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND MATCH
One Fall Match
Rob Riot vs Redmond Fury
As the bell sounds, Redmond Fury and Rob Riot begin circling around one another to look for an opening by which to attack. Redmond reaches for Rob, but gets his hands smacked away. He tries to reach for Rob again, but again had his hands slapped away. Redmond suddenly goes to the ropes. On the return, he slams into Rob with a shoulder that sends Rob straight to the mat. Rob Riot gets right back to his feet, only to be shoved backwards a few steps to keep him off balance. Redmond goes in for another shoulder charge, but Riot brings him down with a drop toe hold. He quickly transitions into a reverse chin lock, cranking on the pressure.
Hawke: Rob knows to keep Redmond down and grounded to prevent him from striking.
Randy: Redmond hits hard, yeah. Rob would do well to keep out of his reach.
Hawke: I just said that?
Randy: And I repeated it so I could sound more important.
Redmond manages to reach back to grab Rob around the head and hit him with a snapmare. Both men get up to their feet, Redmond backing up and hitting a cartwheel kick to the side of Rob Riot’s head. With Riot still standing after the kick, Redmond follows this up with a bicep bash that sends Rob staggering backwards into the corner. Redmond raises both hands to bring them down, but Rob Riot launches out of the corner with a spear to take Redmond down. He shifts into a hammerlock, keeping Redmond on his belly. Redmond gets his foot onto the ropes, causing the ref to break the hold for him. Riot punt kicks Redmond in the side of the head with a grin before going to the ropes and coming back with a running kick to the ribcage. He helps Redmond up, only to hit him with an Eat Defeat! Riot goes for the quick cover, pushing Redmond’s head to the side with his elbow.
One
Tw-Redmond kicks out!
Rob Riot gets to his feet, waiting for Redmond to get up and SUPERKICK to the jaw in a move that flattens Redmond.
Riot: Were you sad that you won’t ever get the chance to lay hands on Andrew Gibson for defeating you? You’ll have to make due with me.
Rob Riot grabs Redmond by the leg, hitting a spinning toe hold. He quickly shifts that into applying a figure four leglock. The ref checks to see if Redmond will give up, but he refuses. In fact, Redmond uses the strength in his arms to reverse the figure four leglock! Now the ref checks with Rob to see if he will submit, but gets a refusal.
Hawke: Redmond has the reverse figure four locked in tight. I don’t know if Rob is going to be able to get out of it.
Randy: Can’t he just release the figure four that he applied?
Hawke: Oh right.
Randy: I know. Too easy.
When Rob Riot realizes that he’s not going to be able to reverse the reversal, he releases the leglock and rolls away from Redmond to his feet. Redmond stands up and charges, nearly beheading Rob with a lariat!
Fury: I can’t have Andrew, it’s true. I will settle for you.
Redmond pulls Rob up and goes to whip him into the ropes, but Riot reverses the move to send Redmond. On his return, Riot hits a back drop, but Redmond catches the top rope and uses it to land on his feet onto the ring apron. Rob Riot turns around to see where on the floor that his opponent is when he is hit with the slingshot spear!
Hawke: Redmond with the Buckeye Shot!
Randy: That was some impact!
Redmond Fury goes for the cover.
One
Two
Three!
Bonnie Jenkins: Winner of the match via pinfall and going on to round two of the tournament…”the Buckeye Bruiser” Redmond Fury!
Hawke: I was really expecting Rob Riot to win this match.
Randy: I think we really need to wonder now if Fury can make it all the way
Hawke: If he keeps it up at this level, maybe?
Bonnie Jenkins: The following match is scheduled for One Fall and is an End of Days first round match! Introducing first representing FIRESIDE… Hailing from Belfast, Northern Ireland! Standing 6 foot tall and weighing in tonight at 223 pounds, known as “Reckless Jack”..... BRAD KANE!
The opening strains of “The Hero” by Amon Amarth begin. Once the song really begins to pick up, “Reckless Jack” Brad Kane steps out on the stage. Sure he looks a bit dead but give him a break. Kane walks to the ring and sees some metalheads headbanging because it’s Amon Amarth, why wouldn’t they? RJBK enters the squared circle and stretches using the ropes.
Randy: End of Days is upon us and who better than the Reckless Jack of the Ring! Brad Kane will start us off with some of that sweet sweet reigning on parades with painful kicks!
Hawke: You sign up as his hype man Randy, or did Fireside send you that private box of bourbon this year?
Randy: Wait, you got bourbon? CAFFREY!
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing his opponent, and current NPW wrestler, he hails from Detroit, Michigan, standing in at 6 feet 2 inches, and weighing in tonight at 237 pounds, the “Face of the Franchise” STEVE AWESOME!
"Full of Regret" by Danko Jones blasts through the arena as fans pop up to get a good view of the long time XHF star who had performed under many umbrellas, but came tonight as a Free Agent to End of Days. All the lights in the arena die out and the fans in attendance start chanting his name. Some however are finding harmony in the hate-Awesome camp and show it vocally.
Half the Crowd: "AWE-SOME!"
Other Half of Crowd: “SUCKS!”
Half the Crowd: "AWE-SOME!"
Other Half of Crowd: “SUCKS!”
Fans: "RE-GRETS I'VE HAD MINE!"
The lights in the arena dazzle and burst to life as they begin to flash green and black spotlights all throughout the arena and down on the ring to the beat of the music. Steve Awesome comes running out with intensity to the hyped up chorus of "Full of Regrets" by Danko Jones. Dressed in his black leather jacket with green trim and frills hanging off in various locations, topped off with his signature aviator glasses and perfectly placed hair - the “Face of the Franchise” was in rare form as he made his way down to the ringside area.
“Lonely nights/ and a whole lot of wasted time!
If you see her wont you tell her for me/
It's better this way to avoid all the misery”
If you see her wont you tell her for me/
It's better this way to avoid all the misery”
Once the guitar starts soloing, Steve steps through the ropes, pausing as he looks back at the crowd over the top of his aviators, hand raised up to his eyebrows before pointing to a fan ringside. He leaps down, takes off the aviators, and places them on the little ‘Awesome’-fan he sees wearing his signature T-shirt sold everywhere at xhf.com/shop. Steve Awesome proceeds to hit on the kid’s mom, before he decides to slide into the ring and he provocatively slips off his jacket, before he spins around and drops into a kneel and he flexes his arms. Steve Awesome gets a slow motion effect as pyro sprays behind him, and he flexes the hips one more time, winking at the ladies in the front row. Music fades.
Randy: boy do these two have problems with one another.
Hawke: With the history of these two, we’re in for a classic tonight!
Randy: *burp* Steve did do the dirty with Brad’s mom, so there’s that too.
END OF DAYS SINGLES TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND MATCH
One Fall Match
"The Face of the Franchise" Steve Awesome vs "Reckless Jack" Brad Kane
With a quick check of both competitors the referee signals for the bell of this round one End of Days tournament singles match. Both men feel each other out as they circle the ring opposite one another. Steve Awesome flips his hair over his shoulder, shooting a wink across the ring to Brad Kane who has seething hate in his eyes. The history of these two went back years, time was telling in the way these men didn’t spend much time before Brad Kane went for the lock up. Stopping suddenly to dodge the toe kick to the gut by Steve Awesome. Brad shakes his head, knowing the antics of his long time rival, and instead sends a right hand that clobbers Steve Awesome above the ear. Steve is wobbled but smiles back at Brad as he throws his own right hook, crossing the cheek of Kane. These two weren’t looking to just wrestle tonight, they wanted to duke it out!
Hawke: A slugfest to start this one off. Kane gets a good shot in on Awesome, but Awesome baits him with an elbow, and Kane covers up to avoid it -- giving Steve the moment he was looking for to get behind Brad.
Randy: BACK BODY DROP by Awesome! Oof, Kane you know better, this guy is a slippery fish in that ring. Awesome has no boundaries he won’t cross to get the victory.
Hawke: So true Randy. We have seen Steve Awesome pull off some heists for wins in that ring. He doesn’t call himself the Face of the Franchise just because it’s catchy.
Randy: Brad Kane is lethal with his legs though Joey. Awesome needs to be -- OOOH!
As Randy was saying it, Brad Kane spins around and plants a kick to the sternum of Awesome that shoots him backwards into the turnbuckle. Awesome grabs his chest in a moment of panic before he finally catches his breath. Brad stalks to the corner and unloads a series of shin kicks from Awesome’s legs all the way up to his midsection. Brad jumps up, spinning in the air, and plants a final kick in the chest of Awesome! Steve drops to the canvas in a sitting position, leaning on the bottom turnbuckle. Pointing to the crowd, the Reckless Jack of Fireside takes a few strides to the opposite corner before he lines up his next move, making his hands a square box before he runs across the ring drives his knee through Steve Awesome’s head, sliding it off the right side as Awesome wilts to the canvas.
Randy: Did he just kill Steve? Call Mongo, this match can’t end this way.
Hawke: Motionless is Awesome. He might be out before this one has even started.
Grabbing the legs, Brad Kane drags Awesome away from the turnbuckles and rolls over him nonchalantly and holds his hand up to showcase the referees count as it’s happening.
1..
2…
Shoulder up by Awesome! The dazed and confused Face of the Franchise is still in this one, but for how long? Brad Kane looks over at the referee like he just stole his cereal box mystery prize, sneering before he rolls over and mounts Steve Awesome. Fans know what’s coming as Brad begins to unload a fury of punches, which rock Steve awake or conscious enough that Awesome puts his hands up to block the barrage of fists. Kane goes to switch to elbow strikes and Awesome grabs the first one, rolling Brad over and taking the offense! Awesome with an elbow strike across the nose of Brad Kane, and it breaks his nose!
Randy: OH! Awesome scores with first blood!
Hawke: Just like that, Steve Awesome makes this a match again! Dishing out what Brad gave him earlier in the form of that knee to the face.
Randy: I’m surprised Brad Kane can bleed.
Hawke: Why?
Randy: Being dead and all, you wouldn’t think it was possible.
Awesome pulls Brad Kane off the canvas and hooks the neck, delivering a suplex! Steve doesn’t seem to be satisfied with just one though. Rolling over with the neck and arm of Brad still locked in, he pulls himself and Brad Kane from the canvas to a standing position. SUPLEX NUMERO DOS! Both men lay there for a moment, and then we see the hips of Steve Awesome twirl his legs in a motion to do it again! Back to there feet, both men much slower this time, and Awesome wrenches up on Kane’s body, knee to the face by Brad! Dropping to his feet in front of Awesome, Kane unleashes a brutal european uppercut on Awesome, rocking the Face of the Franchise backwards into the ropes. Rebounding back at Brad Kane, who delivers a hip toss for the ages! Flying nearly the distance of the ring, Steve Awesome’s momentum as he lands and rolls takes him under the bottom rope and out to the padded floor.
Hawke: Want to talk about distance, Reckless Jack might have set a new record for hip toss throwing!
Randy: I’ve seen him throw further, that was just a taste.
Hawke: Steve though… he’s not, wait -- what is Steve Awesome doing?
A camera catches up to that side of the ring as Steve Awesome crawls under the ring skirt and disappears out of sight. The referee misses this as he was trying his best to keep Brad Kane in the ring, but Reckless Jack doesn’t seem to care for authority figures and pushes past him, stepping through the ropes and onto the apron. Dropping down to the floor, Brad looks left and then looks right -- the referee starts the count out -- and Brad chooses to go right. Towards the steel steps on the far side of the ring, Brad Kane thinking Awesome was crawling around them.
1
2
3
Brad Kane walks over the first step and finds no signs of Steve Awesome. The referee is insisting he get back in the ring between counts, but Brad doesn’t seem to care at the moment as he continues to walk around the ring.
4
5
6
Rounding his third corner post, Brad looks up and scours the ring area for any sign of the hairsprayed mullet of Steve Awesome. Climbing the ring apron, Brad Kane steps between the ropes as the referee continues.
7
8
Kane shrugs as he waits for the referee to finalize his win, with no opponent in sight.
9
From behind, Steve Awesome comes out between the ring apron and the skirting, right where Brad Kane had climbed up and entered the ring. Slipping in and hitting Brad with a superkick to the side of his face just as the referee counted nine. Awesome wastes no time and grabs the leg and hooks it for the cover.
1..
2..
Kickout! Awesome shows a face of annoyance for Brad Kane’s perseverance, but the trickery paid off as Steve collected himself and found an in to take control again. Without missing a beat, Steve Awesome rolls Brad over on his stomach and applies a headlock. Working the neck and throat of his opponent roughly, before doing a headstand with the hold applied.
Hawke: Signature Steve, showing off.
Randy: He’s full of himself but it’s admirable you know?
Hawke: Only by you Randy.
Randy: And the women *gesturing to women with Awesome signs*
Steve drops out of the headstand back down to his stomach. Thinking of his next move as he glances around, tightening his hold on Brad, Awesome decides to stand up and lifts Kane up with the headlock still applied. To their feet now, Steve Awesome adjusts and goes for a swinging neckbreaker! Brad was quick to act and pulls his head backwards quickly, just as Steve has his back to him. Brad Kane hooks Steve under the arms and around his shoulders, executing a release dragon suplex!
Randy: OH! That looked nasty for Steve!
Hawke: Brad is pulling out all the stops! Utilizing a blend of styles that he has learned and perfected over the span of his career.
Randy: Don’t forget how well these two know each other Joey.
Hawke: Steve went for a swinging neckbreaker we have seen him do a thousand times after that headstand headlock. He needs to keep Brad guessing if he wants to find a victory here tonight.
Brad Kane is up and catches Steve crawling towards the ropes. Walking towards him, Brad reaches down and pulls up his right shin pad before hustling towards Steve -- kick to the ribs! Steve rolls away from Kane and onto the ring apron. Brad reaches through the middle and top ropes to grab Steve by his hair. Pulling Steve up to his feet on the apron, Brad transitions from holding him between the ropes to over the top rope and looks for a suplex to bring Steve back in the ring. Kane lifts and Steve hooks the top rope to stop the move, forcing Brad to set him back down. Kane rocks him with an elbow, and Steve leans back, holding the top rope with one hand. Kane waits a second, and then goes to grab Steve by the hair again. Guillotine! Steve baited Brad into going after him which pays off for the Face of the Franchise. Sliding back into the ring, Steve stalks Brad Kane who holds his throat in discomfort.
Hawke: We can hate Steve Awesome for his ego, but he’s been the ultimate opportunist when it comes to finding his moment to strike.
Randy: Brad don’t turn around!
Hawke: Awesome grabs the arm… He’s going for the Chicken Wing Lock!
Awesome-Plex!? Brad Kane looks to be in the cross face chicken wing and Steve wants to turn it into his special suplex that has ended many matches for a victory! Brad drives his head backwards as hard as he can, reverse headbutt to the nose of Awesome, causing him to let go of Kane and stagger backwards. Spinning around Brad Kane hooks Steve Awesome around the midsection and belly-to-belly! Kane goes for the cover!
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Shoulder up just in the knick of time! Awesome won’t give up, and Kane seems irritated by his resolve tonight. Brad yanks Awesome off the canvas again by his hair, and the referee steps in to warn him. Steve grabs the referee’s pants, pulling him towards Kane, before delivering a low blow to his opponent! The referee is none the wiser as Steve gets in the referees face arguing about the hair pulling he’s allowed this match, while Brad Kane falls to the canvas clutching himself. Even dead, that one hurt.
Randy: I felt that one up here!
Hawke: So did everyone watching at home.
Randy: Kane should know by now that Awesome’s hair is his Hollywood star status. Never go after the hair Brad.
Hawke: It’s dirty but effective, and now Steve is looking for something to keep Brad grounded.
Going for the legs, Awesome splits Kane’s legs to double down on the groin pain as he says “Make a wish.” Audible discomfort from Reckless Jack. Awesome follows up by locking on a figure four leg lock, dropping to the canvas and planting his hands behind him to add leverage to the hold!
Hawke: Kane is in all sorts of trouble now, nowhere near the ropes!
Randy: Channel the power of hell Brad!
Clenched teeth as the face of Brad Kane shows the agony he’s enduring. Rocking back and forth trying to flip Awesome, but Steve has his stance set and isn’t budging an inch. Brad drops to his back, holding his face with both hands.
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Bolting off the canvas before the three, Brad Kane sits up and shakes his head at Awesome. He begins to grab the boot of Awesome and force it off his knee to alleviate some pressure. Awesome leans up to a sitting position and swings with a right that clocks Brad upside the ear. Another right! Brad is about to get a third when he leans back and swings his hips with Awesome’s punch, rolling the two men over to their chests!
Hawke: Brad with the reversal!
Randy: Will the mullet tap?
Hawke: Awesome reaching for the ropes! Will he make it?
A finger hits the bottom rope and Awesome is saved as the referee breaks the hold. Both men slow to get up, the punishment endured showing in their pace. Brad is ginger with finding his feet, slapping the knee that had the pressure of the figure four as he does. Awesome uses the ropes to get up right behind him. Both men stand up nearly the same time with their backs facing one another. Awesome turns around and DEAD SET! NO! He ducks the trademark discus big boot by Brad Kane, shooting into the ropes behind Kane and springboards off the ropes, catapulting backwards into a moonsault that Brad Kane turns into. Awesome meets Brad upside down, hooking his neck and bending him backwards as he lands behind him! Corkscrew spinning DDT by Steve Awesome! Brad Kane’s whole body contorts and spins before his cranium is planted into the canvas like a missile meeting it’s final moment. Awesome rolls over Brad and hooks both legs, folding him up for the pin.
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The bell is signaled for by the referee. Awesome releases Brad’s legs, sitting up, as he realizes what a close call it was on the Dead Set he ducked. There was no doubt these two would still have issues to resolve, but on this night, Steve Awesome was able to find his victory with a new move he had never used before.
Bonnie Jenkins: Winner of this match via pinfall, and advancing to Round 2 of End of Days, STEVE AWESOME!
Standing up, Steve Awesome’s arm is raised in the air briefly before he snatches it away and brushes his hair, looking at the referee sideways. Cracking a smile to his ‘Awesome Fan Section’ signs at ringside, Steve leans into the ropes, before dipping out of the ring as Brad Kane shows consciousness.
Hawke: Well that does it for us tonight! Make sure you all tune in one week from tonight over in Gettysburg, PA for week 2!
Randy: That's right, our winners will be in action again there as well as the opening round of the tag team annihilator! It's gonna be off the hook! I'm Randy Angel, this was *BRRRRAAAAAAAAP* Hawke! Good night!