Post by The Dunne Deal on Oct 3, 2021 19:20:25 GMT -5
First off my apologies if the format of this seems a bit informal or if I come off as rude and disingenuous it is just as it is very clear to all of us here the first week of End of Days is now behind us and we all look forward to the second week and once again I find myself already out of the tournament despite putting in what I thought was at least a decent effort not a great one but decent but it's become very clear to me that decent will no longer work as it appears that I'm not impressing anyone anymore I'm not impressing opponents I'm not impressing admins and first and foremost I'm not impressing myself anymore and I think a reason why and it's painfully obvious to everyone who reads everything I have written over the last few months it is very clear that I am simply going through the motions there is no life no feeling no ambition behind anything I've written and the reason for that is simple it is because I have realized that currently I stand here to clearly be nothing more the man whose job is to make everyone else look good whether it's a global pay-per-view like End of Days to Supremacy to even the rumble and honestly I don't know how much more of this I can take I don't know how much longer I can lie to myself and tell me that I'm enjoying my time here this is nothing against anyone here this is nothing to do with the network itself but on a personal basis for me it's a stopped being fun it stopped being a fun a long time ago I stopped enjoying myself and I often told myself that when what I was doing was no longer fun when I felt like I could give no more to the Hobby or when the hobby wasn't giving any more to me when it fell like no matter what I did progress for me was impossible then perhaps maybe it was time for me to give it up it was time for me to walk away and say can I want I gave it a shot I give it everything I had and in the end even that's not enough now I'm sure there's going to be people who are going to try to come here and comfort me and say that no you did a good job it's just that somebody else did better and the truth is I'm tired of hearing it I'm tired of people sugarcoating things for me I'm tired of people being afraid to tell people the truth because they don't want to offend anybody I'm tired of people simply liking posts because they feel like it's the nice thing to do I don't want that anymore I don't and I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks that way I know we don't want to offend people I know we don't want to make people angry you don't want people to quit and maybe it's cuz my mindset where soba differently maybe it's because as a human being and and maybe it's just me so I'm going to tell everyone here right now from this point anything I post any roleplay any character development any segments I sending anything I don't want you to like it I don't want you to hit that like button and say that you enjoyed it because the like button does nothing for me the like button doesn't help anyone improve and it doesn't help anyone get better so I want you to be honest with me from now on this goes to everybody in the network this goes to every single person this goes to Dillon to Caffrey to Mongo to Adrian to Robbie to anyone else I may you want to like what I write you wanting to give me a reason to keep doing this you want to help me improve as both a writer and eventually become a person that could one day be at the top of this it's simple it's a simple request if you like my role play then I want you after you hit that like button to send me a p.m. Explain to me exactly what you liked about it any free didn't like it tell me what you didn't like about it give me that constructive criticism I'm sure everyone else for the network pretty much benefit from some truly constructive criticism ever wondered why it is very rare for me to ever like anybody else's roleplay because clicking a button on a forum and its goes for the format also goes for a twitch in YouTube in any of the other media platform anybody out there clicking a button assuming that you do because you want to feel like you're helping somebody but that shouldn't matter is you're not you're not really helping anybody grow because in order to grow you have to understand what mistakes you're making and when no one tells you what mistakes you're making you don't become better I've often said in post before that you will learn more from your losses and failures then you do from your successes in victories and I still believe that to be true but I cannot fix what is broken if nobody tells me it's broken I cannot improve if I don't know what to work on and I'm sure somebody's going to probably say well you don't really max out the word limit and that shouldn't be a factor maxing out word limits in role-plays should not be a determining Factor on whether or not the writing was good or not does a writer tell a cohesive story do you feel like you can draw and move forward on this information they giving you no more play nice no more politicking no more trying to pretend like I'm happy because I'm not no I'm not angry at losing but I am angry in the fact that it feels to me like that's where I'm stuck I am angry at the fact that it feels to me but nothing it's good enough so I'll say it again case you didn't hear me the last time and I will say it until I'm blue in the face from this day forward I don't want your likes I want your honest criticism nothing more nothing less