Post by Matt on Oct 15, 2021 21:45:42 GMT -5
Click here to read the show on Google Docs!
FRIDAY NIGHT FREE-FOR-ALL
EPISODE XXXIV
(Smash Mouth’s “All Star” kicks off this evening’s events. It is the Friday Night Free-For-All prior to UP Wrestling heading to Japan for the Hostile Fury special event. The anticipation is high with the wrestlers, staff, and fans of who will be representing the company at End of Days as well. It appears no one will have to wait long as Madame Wu kicks off the show.
As The HU Band’s “Wolf Totem” plays and slowly builds…)
V: Okay, all you Old Dudes need to shut it now. This is like, SUPER important.
Sir Oliver: “Shut it”? I most assuredly will NOT! I’ll have you know you Lady that I am providing an expert insight into the HEART of the wrestling industry and as such should at NO time EVER be requested to “Shut it”.
V: Like, suit yourself then, but seriously – you REALLY want to keep spouting your crap when my MOM is coming out? I mean, it’s ONLY your damn job on the line.
Sir Oliver: Well, why didn’t you simply say so? Naturally, I have no inclination to trespass upon Madam Wu’s authority.
V: Damn straight!
Lobo: Hey, I said NADA!
(Madam Wu parades imperiously to the ring accompanied by two of CJ Walker’s elite Nifleheim Yakuza and the pulsating rhythm of the Wolf Totem.
At the ring, the two men part the ropes and she gracefully slides in. She’s clad in an Oriental dragon dress and her blonde hair is piled high in an elaborate fashion. Calmly she raises her mic.)
Madam Wu: I do not often find it necessary to make appearances in the ring. Why should I? One does not have a dog and bark oneself.
(She turns her head and smiles faintly in the direction of her brother, Elijah.)
Madame Wu: Still, there occasionally comes a moment that requires my presence. Self-evidently, this is one such.
Lobo: I wonder what this will be? Madam Wu typically only appears to drop bombshells.
Madam Wu: As you know, Hostile Fury fast approaches. For that we return to Japan. I guarantee that it will be a monumental show. It will, though be somewhat different from our last visit, in that FAR MORE tickets shall be made available AND at discounted prices! The atmosphere shall be ELECTRIC.
However…..As great as the show shall undoubtedly be, there will be something missing.
Sir Oliver: Missing? Dear lord, I do hope she’s not referencing US?
Lobo: With Madam Wu anything is possible.
V: Too damn right!
Madam Wu: WHAT, you wonder. What is it that shall no longer be a part of Hostile Fury?
(She calmly scans the expectant crowd as the spotlight wheel over it and the many signs held aloft.)
Madame Wu: The Sin. City. Championship.
Lobo: Whoa! What the hell? Has the Black Hand bought Rain a Bye? DeHaven is going to have a fit!
Sir Oliver: Not to mention a certain Mr Ragsdale.
Lobo: And this crowd sure ain’t impressed. Just listen to that noise.
(Madam Wu waits for the noise to subside before speaking again.)
Madam Wu: The Sin City Championship will NOT take place at Hostile Fury. It will take place the FOLLOWING NIGHT at XHF’s End Of Days! I know. I know that some will be disappointed, BUT UPW has a DUTY to elevate the standards of professional wrestling and the Sin City Championship exemplifies the flavour of what we do. Mr Blackheart and Mr DeHaven will bring UPW to the eyes of the WORLD!
Lobo: Wow! Now that IS news.
Madam Wu: This is our first foray into the XHF global brand. It will NOT be our last as we prove what a dominant force Ultimate Progressive Wrestling is. I have every faith that Blackheart and Rain will NOT let me down.
(She pauses and looks around before adding)
Madame Wu: Nor you either.
Sir Oliver: Oh my! That’s – well, I do hope that we aren’t expected to fly straight out from Japan to commentate at End of Days. The jet lag! It’ll be absolutely frightful, Old Bean.
Lobo: Hey, Madam Wu says ‘jump’, we say ‘how high’, right?
Sir Oliver: Alas, you do speak with more than a modicum of truth.
V: Quit bellyaching. It’s only coz you’re like totally OLD and wrinkly and just can’t hack the pace. I’m gonna be there. Devy will too – we’ll be on his private plane. It’ll be like, totally awesome.
Lobo: Madam Wu has said her piece. She’s heading back as the crowd are still animatedly talking about that bombshell.
Sir Oliver: Yes, it really is quite the stunning proclamation, Old Boy.
V: I love it! Now just give me some more super violent and bloody action and this night will be like, totally perfect.
================
Joe Nobody vs. Bubba
================
*Anderson: All the way from Hickory, North Carolina… he stands at six feet tall and weighs in at a modest two hundred and sixty-two pounds… he is BUBBA!!!
(“Ugly” by Bubba Sparxxx begins to play as Bubba heads out from behind the curtain. He wears blue jeans, old, black wrestling boots, and black suspenders. A shirt is not present. He pulls the suspenders out, sliding his fingers up and down while sticking his tongue out. He lets them go and they snap hard against his skin. Bubba shakes it off and heads into the ring.)
Lobo: Bubba trying to block out all the noise here and I don’t mean from the fans. It’s been a month since we last saw him.
V: What was left of him, like after the Crimson Mask was done.
Lobo: Exactly. He wasn’t medically cleared two weeks ago, but you have to wonder if he was mentally cleared.
*Anderson: He hails from Detroit, Michigan... weighing in at one hundred and ninety-five pounds and standing at six foot, one inch tall... he is The Prince of Perfection... JOE NOBODY!!!
("Sick of Me" by Beartooth begins to play. The camera zooms into Nobody's face who smirks and adjusts his tie before making his way to the ring. As makes it up two steps and stops before turning around to give a young fan his signature fedora.)
Lobo: Joe Nobody made his debut in UP Wrestling at our last show. Tonight, he shows us if his mic skills match his ring ones.
Sir Oliver: I have heard good things, Old Chap.
Lobo: You’d hope so with a nickname like The Prince of Perfection.
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: The match starts with a collar-elbow tie up. Bubba pushes off Joe and starts smacking his stomach.
V: Ew. If he worried more about his opponent than his own belly, Bubba might be, like, good. Might, but probably not.
Lobo: Joe circles and Bubba joins him. They crash together, tying up again. Joe swiftly turns it into a headlock before swinging around and pulling Bubba’s arm behind his back.
Sir Oliver: Strange fellow. Bubba is smacking his belly with his free hand.
V: Super weird.
Lobo: Bubba is trying to muster up some support from the crowd, maybe? Joe doesn’t wait around though and pushes him from behind. Bubba turns and receives a knee to the midsection. Down he goes and Nobody hits the ropes coming back with a front dropkick to Bubba’s face! He drops down and goes for the pin.
Edwards: 1… 2…
Sir Oliver: Bubba kicks out in the same manner a man may move if he were being hit with a crash paddle.
V: That’s oddly accurate.
Lobo: Bubba continues the match. Joe pulls him up and Bubba hits a European uppercut. That surprised Joe who backs up into the rope and uses it to propel forward with a striking elbow to Bubba’s jaw. He plummets to the mat and Joe is showing Bubba just who is going to dictate this match.
Sir Oliver: Strike for strike, Mr. Nobody has one upped Bubba on every occasion.
Lobo: Bubba tries to shake it off, but Nobody measures him and hits a stiff elbow drop. Bubba pops up and flops over.
Sir Oliver: Excellent ring work on display so far from Mr. Nobody.
Lobo: He knows his craft.
V: But still no Devy. Like, no one is. He’s The Apex.
Lobo: And the UP Wrestling World Open Weight Champion. Let’s give Joe a couple matches before we start comparing him to the best in our company.
Sir Oliver: Something tells me that Mr. Nobody would not shy away from a comparison. He seems quite comfortable in his skin.
Lobo: Nobody pulls Bubba up and sends him to the corner. Joe with a running super kick into the corner!
V: Like, he just turned Bubba into a bobblehead doll.
Lobo: Wicked move right there and that has Bubba completely rocked.
Sir Oliver: These fans are getting behind Mr. Nobody. They also like what they are seeing in the ring.
Lobo: Bubba slides down to a sitting position in front of the turnbuckle. Nobody heads to the other side of the ring, mounts up some steam, and rushes in hitting Bubba with a double knee face lift.
Sir Oliver: Good show, Old Sport.
Lobo: Bubba is jarred. Nobody gets back to his feet and pulls Bubba out of the corner going for another pin attempt.
Edwards: 1… 2…
V: Wow, like how did Bubba kick out of that?
Lobo: No clue. Bubba is taking a beating though from The Prince of Perfection.
Sir Oliver: I imagine he will prefer this one over the one the Crimson Mask provided.
Lobo: Nobody mounts Bubba and begins to throw elbow strikes to his face. Edwards checks in and Bubba is trying just enough to show he’s not defenseless.
V: Nobody isn’t going for a TKO, like, he’s looking for that KO.
Sir Oliver: Right you are.
Lobo: Nobody stops the strikes and pins Bubba yet again.
Edwards: 1… 2…
Lobo: Another near fall for Joe Nobody!
Sir Oliver: He will tire this poor fellow out just with these pins.
Lobo: Bubba has shown many times that he has tenacity. You can try and put him down, but it won’t be easy.
V: Joe’s making this beating on Bubba look pretty easy.
Lobo: Nobody pulls Bubba up and sends him into the ropes. Bubba hooks them to stop from rebounding off them. Joe must have a sixth sense because he was ready for that. He does not leap or look off balanced preparing to hit Bubba as he returned. Instead, he rushes forward and clotheslines Bubba over the top rope!
Sir Oliver: Well, maybe Mr. Nobody will be going for a TKO this evening.
Lobo: Bubba is crawling on the floor and Joe is content with letting him.
Edwards: 1… 2… 3… 4…
Lobo: Bubba grabs the guardrail and begins pulling himself up.
Edwards: 5… 6… 7…
Sir Oliver: Oh heavens, Bubba looks like he has seen a ghost!
Lobo: No, one of our fans is wearing a Crimson Mask mask. Bubba, I am sure is out of it or just flashing back.
V: Bubba’s going on the run!
Lobo: Not on Nobody’s watch… Joe Nobody with a flying side kick off the apron! Bubba is laid out again, but Nobody wastes no time. He pulls Bubba back up and hurls him into the ring.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Nobody is back in the corner and he’s calling for Bubba to get up. This crowd is on their feet!
V: Don’t do it Bubba, if you like, know what’s best.
Lobo: It takes some time, but Bubba is trying to stand.
V: Bad idea…
Lobo: Nobody with the Denial of Perfection!
V: Bubba isn’t kicking out of that one.
Edwards: 1… 2… 3!
Lobo: There it is. Joe Nobody debuts in UP Wrestling and gets his first win or what looks like many more to come.
*Anderson: The winner of this match… The Prince of Perfection… JOE NOBODY!!!
Sir Oliver: Very nice way to start his career here if I do say.
Lobo: Joe is going to head to Hostile Fury with a lot of momentum. I can’t wait to find out tonight who he’ll face next.
==========================
Wicked vs. The Robinson Family
==========================
Sir Oliver: We are indeed now most privileged to announce this fantastic fracas between The Robinsons and Wicked. What a contest this promises to be.
V: If those chicken-shits actually grow a fucking backbone and TURN UP.
*Anderson: From the great state of New York, they are Jumbo and Jett... THE ROBINSON FAMILY!!!
"If you're ready for this... (say you're ready for this!!!)?"
"If you're ready for this... (say you're ready for this!!!)?"
[The sounds of "That's the Joint" by Funky 4+1 play through the loudspeakers.
"ARE YOU READY FOR THIS? Are you ready for this?"
"ARE YOU READY FOR THIS? Are you ready for this?"
"ARE YOU READY FOR THIS? Are you ready for this?"
"THAT'S THE JOINT!!!!!"
[The music keeps playing, but the Robinson's are nowhere to be found.]
Sir Oliver: I say, Old Boy, do you think that perchance those chaps took fright?
[The music keeps playing and the crowd gets confused. A minute or two later, the music is faded out,]
Bishop Lobo: "Well it looks like we're going to go to Wicked's entrance and see if the Robinson's show up!"
*Anderson: UP Wrestling proudly presents - Vicious and Vile! The team that can only be - WICKED!!!
(The lights drop. The heavy pulsating beat of "Hearse of the Pharaohs" by Witchery thunders out from the PA system. Slowly the lights gradually brighten to reveal a fog shrouded ramp, onto which step Wicked. A giant, dark haired brute of a man stands next to a beautiful, but hard featured woman. Both are clad entirely in black. That black is only broken by matching blood red inverted pentacles on their vests. The crowds BOOS loudly, but the pair merely scowl at them as they arrogantly make their way to the ring.)
Lobo: Those two are looking as mean as ever.
V: Yeah, we should like, totally see some arms and legs ripped off, IF those spineless wimps ACTUALLY show up.
Lobo: Well Vile and Vicious don’t look remotely concerned. I guess they see this as an easy pay day. They are paying no attention to the crowd or proceedings.
Crowd: "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
[Jumbo and Jett appear at the top of the ramp and run down to the ring, Jett leads the way, gets in the ring, jumps on the top rope, and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK!!!!]
Lobo: Damn! What an entrance.
Sir Oliver: That knocked Vicious into the ropes! No easy feat, I can assure you of that
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: There’s the bell. No way was Edwards waiting for things to settle down. Vicious spins around and goes straight after Jett. Jett rolls backwards, springs to his feet and jags left narrowly avoiding a Haymaker that could have decapitated him!
Sir Oliver: By Jove, the lad is deucedly light on his toes! And good thing too, Old Bean; had that blow struck true then I fear that this would have been a record-breakingly short fight.
V: “Breakingly”? Is that like, even a word? And like, do I even give a shit?
[Vicious pursues Jett, but is unable to land a telling blow. The behemoth’s massive reach serves him well though and Jett does take several glancing blows as he underestimates just how far Vicious can lunge.]
Lobo: It’s some truly impressive dodging from Jett. He’s covering a LOT of ground in that ring.
Sir Oliver: Yes, and making Mr Vicious do the same. Something he is ill-disposed to do.
Lobo: Oh, now Jett surprises Vicious by darting in low under that reach and JAB! Catches him smartly on the jaw. Another! And ANOTHER! That’s three now and STILL Vicious struggles to hit his highly elusive opponent.
V: And? You like, think those little stings are gonna bother THAT? [Points at Vicious]
Sir Oliver: Do not be so hasty to disparage the efficacy of those blows. Young Master Jett has clearly studied at his father’s feet. Mister Jab Robinson was, in his day, quite the pugilist I’ll have you know.
[Filled with confidence at his success Jett delivers several more swift jabs. Vicious takes them all and just keeps coming at him. Eventually he manages to snare an arm; an arm that he engulfs in his massive hand. He pulls Jett in to hammer home a Heart Punch.]
Sir Oliver: Oh my word! That practically crushed the poor man’s chest.
Lobo: Yeah now Vicious Irish Whips him across the ring and into the ropes of the Wicked corner.
V: Where Vile is like, totally ready to pounce!
Lobo: Leaping knee to the face! Damn, that had to hurt.
Sir Oliver: And was totally illegal. She had in no way been tagged! Fortunately Mr Edwards is not shy in reminding them of that and proceedings are halted as he rightfully instils much needed order.
V: Things were just about to get interesting and he just fucking STOPPED it.
Lobo: And it looks like either Vicious has tired of chasing Jett OR Vile wants in on the action, because the tag is made.
V: Oh that’s all on Vile. Now this should be fun.
[Jett darts in and again sends out the famous Jab. He catches Vile once, Twice, but she blocks the third and snaps out a side kick catching him just under the ribs. Jett doubles and hops back to mitigate the damage, but Vile follows.]
Lobo: Left hook – to the jaw!
V: Oh man, is he like, totally spitting teeth after that?
Sir Oliver: It was a solid hit and no mistake. Alas it was also a closed fist -a VERY closed fist. Again Mr Edwards is called into action and unhesitatingly awards Miss Vile a much deserved Official Warning.
Lobo: And that's given Jett all the time he needs to tag in Jumbo. He needed some recovery time after that – and got it. In comes Jumbo.
Sir Oliver: By George! He’s a rather substantial unit, is he not?
V: You mean he’s FAT. Just spit it.
Sir Oliver: I assure you, young lady, that a gentleman NEVER spits. Such an uncouth habit.
[Jumbo stretches his neck left and right, stretches his arms and then advances on Vile. She darts forward and drives an elbow into his gut. It bounces out. She spins around and steps back out of reach. Jumbo advances again. Vile steps in and fires a Thrust kick into that round belly. She succeeds in making him step back a pace, but little else. She looks to her husband who gestures with two clawed hands. She nods and smiles. Jumbo barrels forward to crush her into a neutral comer, but she darts aside, hitting the ropes, she bounces up and onto his back, where she tears at his eyes.]
V: Like AWESOME! Tear his fucking eyes out!
Lobo: Jumbo can’t see!
Sir Oliver: But he doesn’t need to. He falls backwards and -
V: #Squished.
Lobo: That totally crushed Vile and Jumbo has her pinned
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - TH’
Lobo: NO! In fact; Hell no! Because Vicious grabbed a foot and just hauled ALL of Jumbo off Vile. Damn, that man is strong. He did that with ONE HAND!
Sir Oliver: Just as well – from his perspective as he evaded detection by our esteemed official.
Lobo: Vile stands and boots Jumbo full to the side of the head.
Sir Oliver: perilously close to the temple.
Lobo: Now she stamps on him and – ouch – BOOT SCRAPE!
Sir Oliver: By Jove! That’ll leave a stain and no mistake.
Lobo: Damage dealt, Vile heads to her corner and in comes Vicious. Jumbo sees this and immediately scurries to his own corner as Jett leans in for the tag. He gets – NO! Vicious snares and ankles and pulls Jumbo back. He pulls Jumbo up – across his shoulders and -
Sir Oliver: Good Gracious! He just Gorilla Pressed Slammed the gentleman.
Lobo: I didn’t think I see the day ANYONE could press Jumbo Robinson.
V: Like, that was EPIC. Now shut it Fossils because he’s going for the win here.
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THRE’-
Lobo: Kick out!
Sir Oliver: And Mr Vicious is NOT happy about that. He’s having words – lots of strong words with Mr Edwards.
V: Yeah and like, that has given Jumbo the chance to CRAWL away and tag in Jett.
Lobo: In bounces Jett. He taps Vicious on that massive shoulder. Vicious turns and JAB! Right on the nose!
Sir Oliver: I fear he’s rather stirred the hornet’s nest there.
[Vicious lunges for Jett who dodges. Vicious pursues. Jett tumbles, rolls and trips the man. Vicious just keeps coming. He close, but again Jett drops low and trips him and as Vicious starts to rise, blasts him with a jumping axe kick.]
V: Nimble, little shit, ain’t he?
Lobo: Vicious stands again, shaking off that last strike. He closes again, but again Jett darts backwards – NO! Vile! Vile snagged him from behind. She reached over and grabbed him by the throat! Vicious clobbers him; a solid punch to the gut. Now he bends, grabs the ankles and FLIPS him over the top rope to tumble down outside the ring!
Sir Oliver: Ah, but Mistress Vile has breached the rules AGAIN and AGAIN she accrues an Official Warning.
Lobo: Yeah, one more and this match is over.
[The action pours to the outside as Vicious and Vile drop to go after Jett. Jumbo races around to rescue his brother. The Robinson's find themselves in a bad place; Vicious is brawling with Jumbo, bouncing him alternately off the apron and the barrier. Vile is batting Jett, who gets knocked down pretty badly by a Double-handed Sledgehammer blow. Somehow Jumbo manages to evade a monstrous hook and drops Vicious with a Fallaway slam. He then darts around the corner to Irish whip Vile into the guardrail before he can land a two footed stomp on Jett’s head!. Jumbo then tosses his fallen brother into the ring and tags him in.]
Lobo: The action moves back to the ring and we pick up where we left off with Vicious trying to land a telling blow on Jett and now Jett is taunting the giant.
Sir Oliver: I would question the wisdom of that tactic.
Lobo: NO! Vicious ignores Jett. He hurtles to the Robinson corner, twists and blasts Jumbo with a mighty Back Elbow that knocks him off the apron!
V: Wow, that was like, totally hilarious. Did you see the look on the fat dude’s face?
Lobo: Jett races over intent on stopping Vicious from following up and – NO! Vile is in! She’s in and – Baseball Slide! She takes Jett off his feet! He’s down and she starts to throttle him. Vicious turns to get himself some of the action.
V: But like Jumbo pulls him back. Oh, big mistake. Like Fucking HUGE!
Lobo: Vicious grabs Jumbo by the throat and pummels his face! Blood flies!
Sir Oliver: And Mistress Vile jabs Jett in the throat! Now she rolls the gasping youth up!
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - TH’
Lobo REVERSAL! Jett has her in a Schoolgirl!
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THREE!!!
(BELL RINGS)
*Anderson: Ladies and Gentlemen, your WINNERS – The Robinsons!!!
Sir Oliver: I say! What a commendable victory. And I tip my hat to Mr Junior Robinson. A sound strategy that he’d devised – most sound indeed. Have young master Jett utilise his nimble speed to negate the brute’s savage might. Furthermore, he wisely elected to absent himself from the ring. No need to place oneself needlessly in jeopardy, eh?
Lobo: Yeah, as far as it goes, but the bell means nothing to Wicked. They are STILL trying to tear into Jett! He takes a couple of nasty blows, but now Jumbo piles in. Full Body slam and that breaks things up!
V: Oh yeah, like, just a lot.
Lobo: He and Jett are now looking to get out of Dodge, but Vile has Jett by the ankle and Jumbo has Jett by the arms!
Sir Oliver: By George! Things are going to get messy one Mr Vicious gets -
Lobo; Candy! It’s CANDY! She races down, slides in and knocks Vile backwards. Now she leaps onto Vile and starts banging her head off the mat! Vicious turns to help, but Jett kicks him in the knee! Jumbo pulls him out UNDER the ropes just before Vicious boot stamps where his groin was! Now Junior hurtles down in that wheelchair!
V: Hey, that thing can like, really shift.
Lobo: Junior crashes into Vicious’ ankle just before Vicious can grab Jumbo.
[Things then break down further with Jumbo and Jett attacking Vicious whilst Junior beats a retreat. Candy and Vile continue to savagely tear into each other in the ring. Out comes CJ Walker’s yakuza Wolfpack and they very ungently break things up.]
Lobo: Junior’s tactics were sound. They certainly deserved that win against Wicked.
V: Like, even if they did take some extra licks at the end?
Sir Oliver: And what of Miss Candy and Mistress Vile? They have been separated, but are STILL most eager to tear each other apart. Still, I would commend Miss Candy for her heroic action. She undoubtedly saved someone from lasting injury.
*Anderson: AND! - To settle matters between Vile and Candy – they shall face each other at Hostile Fury!
Lobo: Wow. Big, BIG response to that.
*Anderson: In a Dumpster match!
Sir Oliver: My word! How shocking!
V: Like, totally ace! Vile is gonna rip her to shreds and dump her in the garbage where she belongs!
Sir Oliver: That is a matter for considerable debate and I for one do not like Mistress Vile’s chances.
Lobo: It’s another big talking point for sure, but not for now. Because right now we have even MORE sensational fight action coming up.
Sir Oliver: Then let us tarry not, but with all due alacrity make -
V: Just get on with it!
=====================
Annie Castle vs. Jack Ruby
=====================
Sir Oliver: Next we have a one on one matchup between friendlies I would say.
V: Yawn
Lobo: In fact we have a member of Team Sp!ke, Jack Ruby along with Pixi facing Annie Castle from THC.
Sir Oliver: Quite right. As our fans will recall two weeks ago Team Sp!ke defeated THC but the combatants seem to have remained friends.
V: Booooring
*Anderson: From Holly Springs, Tennessee... she weighs in at one hundred and thirty eight pounds and stands at five foot eight inches tall... everyone welcome... SHOTGUN ANNIE CASTLE!!!
(Shotgun Annie Castle's voice with it's deep Southern drawl is heard over the loudspeakers, dripping with sarcasm.)
"Sugar and spice and everything nice? Hell no! Rattlesnake tails and shotgun shells! That's what this little girl is made of!"
(Castle steps out onto the ramp, a pump action shotgun in one hand and a bottle of black label Tennessee whiskey in the other. She wears a camouflage trucker cap and a bandalier of shotgun shells as well as her in ring gear. She throws her head back and takes a drink from the bottle, then cocks the shotgun one handed. She swaggers to the ring, followed by her manager, Charlie Castle. At the end of the aisle, she hands the shotgun to Charlie, takes another swig from the bottle, handing that off as well. She wipes her mouth with her forearm and slides into the ring under the bottom rope, staying on the mat, looking at the crowd before performing a kip up to her feet. She paces the ring until the match starts.)
*Anderson: Coming down to the ring at six foot five inches tall and weighing two hundred and thirty pounds... from right here in Las Vegas... he is SMILIN' JACK RUBY!!!
("Family Tradition" by Hank Williams Jr. plays as Smilin' Jack comes out from the curtains. Jack is wearing a leather riding coat, a ragged cowboy hat and scuffed cowboy boots. He has on a white singlet to wrestle. Jack carries a pool cue across his shoulders, occasionally taking it in one hand and spinning it like a baton. Jack will take off his hat and riding coat, hand them to the ring attendant, and then climb into the ring. Jack puts his pool cue down in his corner on the apron.)
*Anderson: Your referee is Alexander Xavier Edwards!
Lobo: The bell rings and we are off.
Sir Oliver: Ruby is smiling at the much smaller Annie Castle
V: Just get going already
Sir Oliver: Well Annie needs to stick and move because Mr. Ruby literally looks to be twice her size.
Lobo: The pair try to lock up again but Annie quickly slips behind Ruby and looks to take him down. Ruby just stands and smirks as Annie pulls back and rolls out of the ring to confer with Charlie Castle.
Sir Oliver: She needs to take the big man down but again he is twice her size. Easier said than done.
V: Did Ruby just wink at Pixi? I mean like the arrogance.
Lobo: Annie is back in the ring and as Ruby approaches her she hits a quick drop kick to the left knee.
Sir Oliver: That seems to shock the old chap. Ruby is surprised.
Lobo: Annie with a series of kicks but Ruby doesn’t go down. Ruby grabs Annie and whips her into the ropes, he goes to catch her but she baseball slides between his legs. Ruby slowly turns around but Annie drop kicks his left knee yet again.
Sir Oliver: Oh my, Mr. Ruby is down on one knee.
Lobo: Annie bounces off the ropes and hits a drop kick to the face.
Sir Oliver: Ruby is stunned.
Lobo: Annie with a spinning back kick and Ruby is down. She goes for the cover….1…
Sir Oliver: Oh my. Jack Ruby just stood up while holding the much smaller Annie Castle.
V: This is so uninteresting, like boring.
Lobo: Ruby hits a powerslam and Annie is crushed.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Ruby came down with all his weight on Annie. Mr. Ruby looks at Pixi who claps for him to continue.
Lobo: Jack Ruby with a big leg drop. It connects. He goes for the cover…1….2…kick out by Annie.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Ruby did not hook the leg but he is so much bigger than poor Ms. Annie that he just shrugged.
Lobo: Ruby picks up Annie and delivers another body slam. He goes for another leg drop but Annie moves.
V: Can Ruby be any slower? He is like wrestling’s version of 3G.
Lobo: Annie runs to the ropes, bounces off, and hits a Tornado DDT.
Sir Oliver: She used Mr. Ruby’s size against him and Mr. Ruby is down and dazed. Pixi looks concerned in the corner as Charlie cheers on Annie.
V: Aren’t they like bar hopping friends?
Sir Oliver: Indeed but in the ring they are competitors.
V: Whatever.
Lobo: Annie quickly jumps on top of Ruby and unleashes a bevy of forearm strikes to the face.
Sir Oliver: Looks like Annie has won over the crowd:
V: Not me
Lobo: Annie with a Standing Double Stomp. It connects. COVER…1…2….KICK OUT
Sir Oliver: Mr. Ruby just threw Annie off him. He stands up and has a glare in his eye.
Lobo: Annie charges Ruby with a flying splash but Ruby catches her, he lifts her up and he is just holding her in a suplex position.
V: Woooow…cool
Crowd: 1..2..3..4…5…6…7…8….9….
Sir Oliver: The blood is rushing to Annie’s head.
V: When a head is empty the blood will like rush.
Lobo: BRAINBUSTER….Jack Ruby hits a brainbuster and Annie is down. Ruby looks at Pixi who cheers him on to keep going.
V: Why is the camera pointing at that guy in the stands? He like looks familiar.
Sir Oliver: That is Moe, I believe Moe is very protective of Annie and he has a deep look of concern on his face.
Lobo: Ruby with the cover…1….2….THRE….No Annie got her left foot on the rope.
Sir Oliver: Another mistake by Mr. Ruby. First he doesn’t hook the leg and now he covers his opponent too close to the rope.
V: Like so dumb…
Sir Oliver: Moe is Jack’s friend and employee actually but he looks to be very concerned for Annie.
Lobo: Ruby looks to pick up Annie but she adroitly rolls out of the ring as Charlie checks on her.
Sir Oliver: Pixi is yelling at Mr. Ruby to go after her and not to lose momentum.
Lobo: Ruby rolls out of the ring but Charlie sees him and tells Annie to run back into the ring and she does. As Ruby climbs back in after her, Annie catches him with leg stomps. Ruby is dazed and Annie hits a running bulldog.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Ruby is dazed.
Lobo: Annie goes to the top rope…Moonsault Stomp….it connects.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Ruby is in serious trouble.
Lobo: Cover…1…2…No Ruby kicks out and immediately stands up.
V: Castle weighs like 20 pounds, Ruby is about to finish this. Like now.
Lobo: Annie charges Ruby and goes for a drop kick to the knee again but Ruby is ready. He catches her and hits an open hand slap. Annie is rocked and flies out of the ring.
Sir Oliver: Look at Moe. He is really concerned now and is up.
Lobo: Ruby slides out of the ring and goes after Annie.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Ruby seems to be done playing around and Pixi is encouraging him to finish this.
Lobo: Ruby picks up Annie and hits and Atomic Drop. Annie hits hard and awkwardly on her left ankle. Ruby goes to pick her up but Moe is up.
V: Not this idiot again.
Sir Oliver: Moe is giving Ruby the business. I cannot quite make out what he is saying.
V: Jack is telling him to sit down and mind like his own business.
Lobo: Ruby goes to pick up Annie but Moe grabs his arm. The crowd is shocked. Ruby frees his arm and glares at Moe, who pushes Ruby from behind the railing.
V: Can we like get security out here?
Sir Oliver: This is getting heated for sure. Hotter than a cup of hot tea.
Lobo: Jack Ruby nudges Moe back to his seat with a mind your business glare.
Sir Oliver: Here comes Carson Castle to check on Annie who still seems to be favoring her left knee.
V: Why is the referee checking on her now? Like Annie is such a drama queen.
Lobo: Moe did not like Jack pushing him down. Moe just shoved Jack Ruby with both hands and Ruby just collided with Carson Castle.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Castle is a big man too. He certainly felt that.
V: He didn’t see that Moe pushed Ruby, this is about to get juicy.
Sir Oliver: Moe is now trying to apologize but Carson Castle and Jack Ruby are face to face jawing at one another as the referee continues to check on Annie Castle and her ankle.
Lobo: Annie suddenly shoves Edwards aside and jumps on Ruby. She unleashes a series of strikes as Castle throws Ruby back into the ring. Annie hits a drop kick to the back of the left knee as the confused Ruby goes down.
Sir Oliver: Annie has him set up for her 12 Gage finisher.
Lobo: And she connects, the Shining Wizard to the back of the head and Jack Ruby is down.
V: No way…
Lobo: COVER…1….2…THREEE!
Sir Oliver: Annie Castle just picked up a huge victory.
Lobo: Pixi jumps in to check on Ruby.
Sir Oliver: And Carson Castle jumps in and seems to want to go after Mr. Ruby, still harboring some hard feelings from earlier.
Lobo: But Pixi jumps up and pushes Carson away. He stops and looks at her before Annie steps in and she decks Pixi.
V: Now this is fun.
Sir Oliver: Hostilities between friends.
Lobo: THC walks in disgust but victorious while Jack Ruby and Pixi are both down and in a daze.
=======================
Bryan Black vs. Mark Murphy
=======================
Sir Oliver: The next match tonight promises to be a heated affair, as Bryan Black attacked Mark Murphy at the last Friday Night Free for All.
V: Yeah. Black has some payback coming his way.
Lobo: Let's not forget that Murphy has been given an ultimatum by Cliff Ragsdale...win this match, or he is out of the CCZA.
V: Totally not the situation he wants to be in.
Lobo: Let's go up to the ring for….hold on! What's this?
Sir Oliver: It would seem that Murphy and Black have already begun backstage as they tumble through the curtains and down the entrance ramp.
(The two exchange punches as they roll down the ramp. Murphy gains top control, raining down elbow strikes. Black reverses and takes top control, hitting Murphy with a few stiff forearms to the face before breaking away and stomping Murphy in the abdominal region. Black begins to walk towards the ring, but Murphy gets to his feet and tackles Black from behind. Murphy picks Black up, placing him in a headlock and laying a few clubbing forearms across Black's back.)
Lobo: Mark Murphy is showing a lot of fight tonight despite being a little worse for wear after being embarrassed by Rain Blackheart and Bryan Black two weeks ago.
V: Like, he doesn't wanna lose his job with Ragsdale. He'll end up on food stamps and shopping at Goodwill.
Sir Oliver: Oh will you stop it, Miss Wu. That is very disrespectful to those in difficult financial situations.
V: Hey Murphy. Just so you know, you don't EAT the food stamps. You take them to the grocery store to buy food...and don't lick them either. They don't work like postage stamps.
(Murphy goes to whip Black into the guard rail, but Black reverses. Murphy crashes hard and stumbles forward where Black is waiting to scoop slam Murphy onto the concrete. Black picks up Murphy and walks him toward the ring. Black goes to slam Murphy head first into the ring post. Murphy gets his boot up to block the move. Black tries once more to force Murphy forward, and Murphy blocks again, nailing Black with a back elbow. Murphy rolls Black into the ring.)
Lobo: The bell finally rings and this match is officially underway.
Sir Oliver: These men have quite the history between them.
V: Maybe, but I'm not sure Murphy is going to have much of a future if he keeps taking shots like that.
(Black is on his feet as Murphy rolls under the bottom rope into the ring. Black kicks Murphy several times in the ribs using the top rope for leverage. Edwards steps in to call for the break and Black breaks cleanly. Murphy gets to his knees and Black closes in to bring him to his feet. Murphy lays in two forearms to Blacks midsection but Black raises a knee into Murphy's ribs. Black fires Murphy into the ropes and lands a text book drop kick to Murphy's chest. Murphy is brought to his feet and Black executes a vicious inverted atomic drop. Black runs the ropes and hits a flying calf kick.)
Sir Oliver: Bryan Black goes for the pin attempt.
Edwards: ONE…
V: Pack your bags for the poor house, Murphy.
Edwards: TWO…
Lobo: Black doesn't have the leg hooked.
Edwards: THREE…
Lobo: No! Murphy just slipped his shoulder off the mat!
V: Good thing too. He was just a breath away from being homeless.
( Black gets to his feet and pulls Murphy up. Black takes Murphy up and over with a vertical suplex. Black goes for the cover but is tossed off quickly. Black rolls to his feet and hits a spinning back kick to Murphy as he gets to his feet, doubling him over. Black runs the ropes and looks to be going for his finisher, the Wall, but Murphy catches him and awkwardly drops his throat first across the top rope.)
Sir Oliver: A lucky break for Murphy. He surely would have been defeated had that maneuver landed properly.
Lobo: Murphy is a veteran of UPW, and he and Black have clashed many times. I'd say he had that move scouted.
V: You mean, like Cliff Ragsdale scouted that move. He won't be getting that level of management anymore if he loses again.
(Murphy takes a moment to catch his breath as Black struggles to get up, holding his windpipe and coughing.)
Lobo: Murphy needs to be following up, but he looks like he's having trouble recovering.
Sir Oliver: No doubt the lingering effects of the two beatings he received two weeks ago.
(Black turns and faces Murphy and is blasted with a hard chop to the chest. Murphy whips Black into the ropes and catches Bryan with a rolling clothesline. Black begins to get to his feet but Murphy forces him down with a choke.)
Lobo: Murphy is looking to cut off the flow of oxygen, and Edwards is stepping in to administer the five count.
Edwards: One...two...three...four…
(Murphy releases the hold to stop the count, but quickly rakes Black's eyes with the laces of his boot. Edwards pushes Murphy back and goes to check on Black. Murphy pushes Edwards aside and hits a falling tomahawk chop to Black's skull. Murphy goes for the pin.)
Edwards: ONE…
Lobo: Murphy might have him here!
Edwards: TWO…
(Black raises the shoulder and Murphy goes for the choke again. Murphy pushes up in a plank position, forcing all of his weight into Black's throat.)
Edwards: One...two... three...four…
(Murphy breaks the choke again, and Edwards warns Murphy that he will issue a strike on the next intentional choke. Murphy picks up Black and whips him into the turnbuckle and follows with an avalanche tackle. Murphy pounds Blacks head into the turnbuckle and Black stumbles out of the corner.)
Sir Oliver: Mark Murphy is being relentless in his offense, and Bryan Black is feeling the effects. The former world champion needs to mount some sort of offense of his own if he intends to win this contest.
Lobo: Murphy sends Black into the ropes and takes Black down with a sidewalk slam. He hooks the leg and goes for the cover.
Edwards: ONE…
Lobo: Bryan Black shows tremendous determination, kicking out at the count of one.
(Murphy slaps the mat in frustration and hauls Black to his feet. Murphy sets Black up for a back suplex, but Black slips out and hits a swinging neck breaker on Murphy.)
Sir Oliver: That was a most impressive reversal by Bryan Black.
Lobo: It sure was, but Black is down on the mat. He has to dig deep if he's going to capitalize.
V: The only thing he's digging is his own grave. I hate to say it, but Murphy's got this in the bag. No soup line for you, Mark.
(Black claws his way up with help from the ropes. Murphy takes a moment to shake off the effects of the match this far. Black capitalizes with a running knee drop. Black is still slow to get up, but he is faster than Murphy. Black grabs Murphy and whips him into the ropes, rebounding and getting Murphy with his finisher, the Wall.)
Sir Oliver: Most impressive. The impact of that maneuver was certainly devastating. Black hooks the leg.
Edwards: ONE….
Lobo: I think this is going to be it! No way Murphy is kicking out.
Edwards: TWO….
V: I think they still have some cots at the homeless shelter, Murphy.
Edwards: THREE…
Lobo: NO! Murphy kicked out at two and three quarters!
V: Hmmm...like who knew he had this much fight in him?
(Black looks shocked that Murphy kicked out of the pin. Black grabs Murphy and takes him over with a quick suplex. Black grabs Murphy by the ankle and positions him near the turnbuckles. Black leaps to the top rope and turns to face Murphy, a tiny bit unsteady at first, but he quickly gains his footing. Black launches himself off the turnbuckle for a shooting star press. Murphy suddenly raises his foot up straight and Blacks face makes contact. Black spins out of control and hits the mat hard, his eyes glassy and his limbs limp.)
Lobo: Murphy's boot just knocked Black silly! What an impact!
Sir Oliver: If I had to guess, I would say Bryan Black's mental foramen made an impact on the sole of Murphy's boot.
Lobo: That's the mark of a veteran...pulling out a move to turn the tide when it seems all hope is lost.
(Murphy crawls to the ropes and pulls himself up, suddenly noticing Black's condition. Murphy stumbles to his adversary, who is still prone on the mat. Murphy drags Black to his feet and hits the Flamethrower.)
Lobo: Murphy is going for the cover!
Edwards: ONE…
Sir Oliver: Perhaps Black has the internal reserves to kick out.
Edwards: TWO….
Lobo: Black still isn't moving!
Edwards: THREE!!!
V: Aw...does this mean we still have to see Murphy every week?
Anderson: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match via pinfall at 12:31 of the match, "The Maniac"...MARK MURPHY!!!!
Lobo: It seems like Mark Murphy always pulls out a win when it really counts.
V: Yeah, like, how did we get so unlucky?
Lobo: That win means that Murphy is still a member of CCZA, but for how long?
==================
TCE vs. Ron Masterson
==================
Lobo: On the last show, TCE had brought back a dead man. Not really. He continued his mind games and it turned out the guy in a wolverine mask was nothing more than Chad.
V: Who he was like, real quick to abandon.
Sir Oliver: I am not sure TCE ever intended to face off with anyone that night.
Lobo: Well there is nowhere to turn to right now. There is no Chad and Ron will have Cage with him.
V: I’m not sure having Chad there would really help.
Lobo: True. Ron says there is a lot of talk though, so I am looking forward to seeing some action.
Sir Oliver: I am sure he did not find being called “Backseat Ron” very appealing.
V: Backseats are fun.
Lobo: I don’t think TCE meant it in that way at all. While I do not like the tactics, does TCE have a point? Ron Masterson is an UP Wrestling OG. He’s held more than one title. Cage is his mentor and trainer, but he shows up saying it's his last hurrah and wants a chance to go out on top.
V: If you’re not gunning for the biggest prize in our company, then what are you like, doing?
Lobo: True, but don’t forget Ron Masterson still has that Christmas Chaos prize from Vendetta last year. He can insert himself into any match. Hell, he could add himself to Devin Bishop versus Nathaniel if he wanted.
V: That’d be career suicide going against my Devy.
Lobo: Well, I don’t want to be all talk either. Let’s hand it over to Elijah Anderson for introductions.
*Anderson: Coming down to the ring is a man who weighs in at two hundred and fifty-five pounds and stands at six foot six inches tall, he hails from Roanoke, Virginia... he is T!!! C!!! E!!!
(The lights in the arena dim down as the fans around the arena all react differently. Some boo and others cheer as "Thoughtless" by Korn begins to play. A red spotlight flashes up near the entrance. Moments later, out walks the legend. He goes down the aisle passing by the passionate UP Wrestling fans without giving them any attention. TCE steps up the steel stairs and climbs inside the ring. Once inside, he removes his trench coat, tie, and button up shirt. He hands over his clothing to the ring attendant and awaits his opponent in the corner.)
Lobo: TCE is a veteran, a legend. He’s in multiple Hall of Fames. This man didn’t come to UP Wrestling for fame or fortune. He has that. TCE came to UP Wrestling for one purpose… Cage.
(Ron stands in the gorilla position with Cage and Donnie amping him up. Before Ron is announced, Cage’s phone chirps. He looks down at the message and his eyes light up. Cage can’t take his eyes away from the phone. Ron pats him on the shoulder and Cage’s mouth can be read, “I got to go now”. The look on Cage’s face is all Ron needs to tell him to go. Donnie continues hyping Ron up as Cage turns and rushes off.)
*Anderson: Hailing from Phoenix, Arizona, standing at six feet one inch tall, and weighing in at two hundred and fifty-one pounds... he is the Thunder Kid... RON MASTERSON!!!
("Higher Place" by Journey plays as Ron walks through the curtain. Dressed in his ring gear and a dark brown leather vest, Ron slaps hands with the fans, all smiles, while Donnie D. Falco follows close behind, doing the same. Ron walks up the steps and onto the apron, where he wipes his feet and nods to the fans before stepping between the ropes. Falco makes his way to a corner while Ron removes his ring jacket and hands it to him.)
Lobo: What a test tonight for Ron Masterson. He has shown us some incredible feats. Win, lose, or draw… this will be a memorable moment in Ron’s career.
Sir Oliver: I agree. TCE may not be well liked, but he is respected.
Lobo: TCE is walking up to Ron… and he offers him his hand?
V: You hear Donnie squawking no… haha!
Lobo: Ron doesn’t look like he will oblige TCE’s offer.
Sir Oliver: It is good form. TCE is willing to shake this man’s hand before a fight. I am sure TCE doesn’t know why Cage had to rush out. Maybe he admires this chap for coming out to fight him alone. That’s no ill will towards Mr. Falco.
Lobo: TCE asserts his hand again. Ron looks him over and begins to extend his hand out, but TCE punches him RIGHT IN THE THROAT!
Sir Oliver: Forget everything I said about his form.
Lobo: Ron stumbles back gasping for air. Referee Edwards is admonishing TCE who pays him no mind. TCE with a headbutt before grabbing Ron, spinning him around, and HURLING him through the turnbuckles and shoulder first into the post.
V: Shit… don’t ever like, get me on his bad side.
Lobo: TCE climbs out of the ring. He grabs a steel chair!
Sir Oliver: He is heading right over to Mr. Masterson. This is not good.
Lobo: Donnie runs over to try and stop TCE, but receives a chair shot to the face for his efforts! Donnie drops down and out. TCE steps over him and continues towards Ron. He lifts the chair up again and smashes Ron’s head between it and the ringpost!
V: If Ron’s head was a zit, he would have just popped puss all over the first three rows.
Sir Oliver: Disgusting and uncalled for, young lady.
Lobo: Ron goes limp, but that doesn’t keep TCE from blasting him in the head again with that steel chair before tossing it down.
Sir Oliver: Where is CJ Walker and your mother’s security team?
V: Eh, who knows. Mom’s big about using resources in the right time and place. Unfortunately for Ron, he is in neither. Or maybe CJ just doesn’t like him.
Lobo: TCE is pulling a table out from under the ring. He is setting it up near the apron and once finished, TCE jumps back inside the ring. He pulls Ron out of the corner and out onto the apron. This can’t be good.
V: Oh this is popcorn good, Baptist.
Lobo: TCE WITH A PILEDRIVER OFF THE APRON AND THROUGH THE TABLE!!!
Sir Oliver: What madness is this?
Lobo: Oh my gosh… Ron’s head just speared through that table. Then it hit that cold, hard concrete floor. That was an unforgiving drop on his head. Ron is laid out and TCE even took some pain there. He’s slowly getting up, but that’s more than I can say for Ron right now.
V: Hey, can we like, get someone out here to sweep up this table and Ron?
Sir Oliver: The way you speak is not suitable for someone of your age.
V: And your face isn’t suitable for like, being outside.
Lobo: TCE grabs that chair back up and slams it down on Ron’s back. He does it again… and third time's a charm before TCE slams the chair back down again. TCE reaches back under the ring and pulls out a black duffel bag. He reaches inside… and what is that?
Sir Oliver: I do believe he has an iron glove wrapped in barbed wire.
Lobo: What the hell is he going to do with that?
V: Something cool, I bet!
Lobo: TCE rolls Ron over and mounts him. He looks at the glove and then down at Ron momentarily before starting to strike him with it!
V: He’s carving him up like it's Thanksgiving Day and Backseat Ron’s the turkey!
Lobo: Ron’s face is turning red from blood being gashed out of every strike that TCE hits. What? Out of nowhere, Donnie Falco uses that chair to strike TCE in the back!
Sir Oliver: Yes, I normally do not applaud brute force. That, I will make an exception.
Lobo: TCE leans down. Donnie drops the chair and pushes TCE off Ron. He’s trying to get Ron up and probably try to get out of here before any more damage can be done. Ron’s not able to respond. He can’t help Donnie get to his feet. TCE just STABBED Donnie in the leg with a piece of the table!
V: Oh yeah! Like, this is getting good.
Lobo: Donnie just falls over in pain. TCE jerks him back up and hits Donnie with TRIBULATIONS! He gets back up, grabs the chair, and smashes it into Falco’s face!
V: There’s your kill shot for the night. Dear Donnie just got skull crushed!
Sir Oliver: How can you say such a thing?
Lobo: TCE is not done with Masterson. He’s pulling up the top of the steel steps and just throws them down on Ron! They just bounce off after making a hard thud against Ron’s chest. TCE sets the steps up next to Ron and slowly pulls him up. TCE hooks him on top of the steps and then hits TRAILS!
Sir Oliver: This crowd just went silent. He sent a hush through all these people with that move on top of the steel stairs!
Lobo: Ron isn’t moving. He’s out and slumped over the steps. What? TCE is still not done! He grabs the steel chair as he stands back up and smashes it on Ron’s back again. Oh no… oh no oh no. TCE is wrapping the chair around Ron’s neck.
Sir Oliver: This is not good.
V: Oh yes, it is.
Lobo: Don’t do it TCE. No, you don’t have to go this far! TCE JUST LEAPT OFF THE APRON STOMPING DOWN ON THE CHAIR AROUND RON’S HEAD AND NECK!!!
V: These people were shocked when TCE, like, hit Trails. You could hear a pin drop in between the few gasps the fans are managing to get out.
Lobo: Call the damn EMTs and someone get TCE out of here. Vee, I don’t care for any type of response. Call your mom and have this stopped!
V: Now, wait…
Lobo: Just do something, this has gone TOO far!
Sir Oliver: While much too late, I do believe TCE is satisfied and has started to head out.
Lobo: Grace is heading out to try and get a word from this sick, twisted man.
Grace: TCE… TCE… why do this?
(TCE grabs the mic from Grace. She backs off after seeing what TCE just did to Donnie and especially Ron. He brings the mic up to his mouth, but stops before he says anything and just drops the mic. The feedback throughout the arena speakers is TCE’s last thing before he departs backstage.)
Lobo: Thank goodness the Las Vegas EMTs are heading out to check on Donnie and Ron. Listen, cut the feed. I need a minute. Cut it!
===============================================================
CJ Walker vs. Riley The Jackal vs. The Crimson Mask vs. David Berg vs. Saint Sakura vs. Maddox
===============================================================
Lobo: What a match this promises to be! We’ve a gauntlet match and what a match it is with the brute that is, Riley The Jackal taking on The Crimson Mask. And honestly, the less said about that monster, the better.
Sir Oliver: Indeed, both are significantly robust gentlemen of considerable stature. One ought not to anticipate a plethora of subtlety in this one, Old Boy.
V: So, like we can start then.
(BELL RINGS)
(The Crimson Mask glares, ice cold, at The Jackal, but the Jackal meets that gaze fully. Suddenly both explode into action with brutal, clubbing blows being thrown with little or no regard to defence. The Crimson Mask propels Riley back into the ropes and follows with a ru8nning clothesline that knocks him to the deck. The Crimson Mask then bounces, up, back and out from the ropes to drop with a thunderous clubbing elbow to the head!)
Sir Oliver: My word! I think that blow registered on the Richter Scale!
Lobo: Yeah, the fans totally felt that all the way to the back.
(The Crimson Mask hits Riley again before leaning back to cover.)
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THR’-
Lobo: Kick out!
V: So, like, it was a solid hit, but that Jackal’s a solid unit, so that pin was WAY too fucking optimistic.
(The Crimson Mask stands and pulls Riley up with a devastating Ripcord Clothesline. Down goes Riley. Again. The Crimson Mask then drops, but The Jackal gets his knees up and the Crimson Mask falls straight into them. That gives Riley the breather he needs. He stands and blasts TCM in the ribs. The big Croatian rolls with the blow, but utters not a sound. The Jackal advances and pulls TCM up by the head to Headbutt him. In return, TCM rams an elbow into Riley’s ribs and then almost takes him off his feet with a savage European Uppercut. Riley staggers back, somehow staying upright TCM steps forward and Pump Kicks Riley back into the ropes. Riley bounces back out and wallops TCM with a back hand chop. TCM wears it and simply grabs the Jackal. He then flexes his knees to explode up and Suplex Riley up and OVER the ropes!)
Sir Oliver: By Jove! The man practically went into orbit then!
Lobo: And that was Not a good “splash down”. I think Riley is hurt.
Sir Oliver: He seems to be, but is most certainly NOT staying down.
Lobo: Yeah, he’s already getting back up. And I can tell you that The Crimson Mask is not happy with that at all.
Edwards: ONE! - TWO! -
Lobo: And here comes Riley – straight back into the ring to- NO! The Crimson Mask BOOTS him in the face! Riley falls back to the barrier. He’s cut. There’s blood!
V: Like, awesome!
(Before Edwards can count further TCM slides between the ropes and then leaps to Splash into Riley, crushing his spine against the barrier. Riley drops, clearly hurt, but refuses to stay down. As he starts to pull himself back up, TCM grabs him by the throat.
Lobo: Iron Claw Chokeslam!
Sir Oliver: Truly a barbaric move, Old Chap.
(TCM then sends in the boot. Kick after kick rains down, but STILL the Jackal refuses to quit. He pulls himself back up using the barrier. TCM turns his back on his bloodied and battered opponent, but only to heave up the steel steps. These he hurls at Riley! They knock him down and lacerate his forearm, but again, he refuses to stay down.)
V: Hey, this is really starting to get good now. Hey Mask-Thing, uses the steel chair!
Lobo: I think he heard you.
Sir Oliver: I find it inconceivable how he could not.
(As TCM bends to pick up a chair. The Jackal barrels forward to spear him to the concrete. He flails away at the Crimson Mask, who takes that beating before suddenly blasting Riley with a bellringer. Riley falls back clutching his head. TCM stands and swings the chair – edgeways – to blast Riley on the side of the head. Blood sprays wildly!
Sir Oliver: By George, the blighter almost decapitated him then!
Lobo: Riley is bleeding and bleeding plenty, but The Crimson Mask isn’t done. He – oh no – he’s got that dented, old bucket of blood. He POURS it over Riley, who is barely conscious now and -
Sir Oliver: That’s enough for our esteemed official. Mr Edwards has DISQUALIFIED The Crimson Mask for the use of weapons.
V: Like, that old fossil has no sense of fun.
Lobo: But The Crimson Mask isn’t stopping! He is flailing away with that bucket, repeatedly braining a now UNMOVING Jackal!
Sire Oliver: Finally! Finally he stops and stalks off to the back, but what of Mr Jackal? Surely, he’s in no fit state to continue. He’s – oh, my word – he’s actually pulling himself back up! But just look at those wounds!
Lobo: Back up and into the ring! That is one stubborn and tenacious man.
V: That trail of blood is like, totally SICK! I wonder how much more he has left in his body. Can’t be much now, right?
Lobo: Edwards is not comfortable with this continuing. He gestures that Riley is unfit, but The Jackal’s hand snaps up – even though he can’t get up off his knees! He grabs Edwards wrist and tells him “no!” He wants to continue.
Sir Oliver: Lunacy! Sheer lunacy, I tell you.
V: Hey, do you think we might actually get to see out first ever fatality? Like, that would be so cool!
(Out comes Saint Sakura to a massive ovation. She slaps hands with the fans as she quickly makes her way to the ring. Once there though, she stops and sees The Jackal, still kneeling with blood pooling around his knees. One side of his body is covered in red! She stands a moment and then nods, claps her hands together and then steps forward. She places a single finger on Riley's head and gently pushes. He topples sideways and then onto his back. Saint Sakura gently places a foot on his chest. Edwards makes the count.)
Sir Oliver: Thank heavens! At least now Mr Jackal can receive that much needed medical attention.
(A brief delay ensues as they cart The Jackal away on a stretcher and the ring is cleaned. Saint Sakura leads the fans in appreciation of Riley’s incredible valour. She stands at each corner and claps high above her head. The fans emulate her. So it is that Riley is conveyed to the back with a standing ovation.)
V: Ugh, well that wasn’t sickening at all. Can we get back to the bloodshed now?
Lobo: Next up it’s Maddox.
Sir Oliver: Quite so and what an intriguing match this will make.
V: D’uh! Lots of jumping and skipping around and very little actual fucking fighting, I bet!
(Maddox steps in and calmly offers his hand. Saint Sakura bows without taking her eyes off him and then with a grin, shakes his hand. The bell rings and Saint Sakura whips a leg around to strike with a back heel kick, but Maddox ducks and spins low to sweep her feet – except, she hops over that attempt. Maddox stands and circles warily assessing his opponent before stepping in to close. There follows a rapid exchange of smashes, chops and punches in which both block as many as they manage to land.)
Sir Oliver: Such an intriguing contest. Both are undeniably blessed with outstanding speed and reactions.
Lobo: Yeah, the fans daren’t even BLINK, the action is so fast!
V: #Yawn.
(Maddox manages to land an Enzuigiri to the face. It rocks Sakura back into the ropes. As she comes back out, he connects with a Back Heel Kick. Again she’s sent back into the ropes. This time though Maddox races the opposite way. He slingshots out and crashes into her with a Firebird Splash.)
Sir Oliver: Top hole! What a simply splendid sequence of attacks.
Lobo: Now he has her pinned!
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - TH’-
Lobo: Shoulder up!
(Maddox breaks cleanly. Sakura kips up to her feet, but backs away to assess and recover. As she does Maddox again darts to the ropes. Up from the middle rope he flies.)
Lobo: Moonsault!
Sir Oliver: Crikey!
V: Yeah, that would have like, been totally better if it had hit.
Lobo: Sakura sidestepped and Maddox crashed and burned!
(Saint Sakura drops an Axe Kick onto the back of his head and then hops up onto the ropes. She jumps and delivers a Corkscrew Senton Bomb. She then rolls Maddox over and grabbing a leg, leans back for the cover.
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THR’-
Lobo: Kick out!
Sir Oliver: Mr Maddox is a most redoubtable fellow. It’ll take more than that to stop him.
V: What about a bucket to the head? Like, preferably one filled with cement.
(Saint Sakura breaks cleanly. Maddox doesn’t rush to his feet. He kneels and uses the full count before standing. Sakura instantly closes and both exchange rapid body shots. Sakura backs away. Maddox smiles.)
Lobo: Now they close. They lock up. Each shifting their weight and position to get the – NO! Maddox twists and upends her! Cradle DDT!
Sir Oliver: How on earth did he do that, Old Boy?
Lobo: He has her pinned.
Sir Oliver: Impressive backslide.
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THRE’-
Lobo: She’s out! Sakura kicks free.
Sir Oliver JUST in time.
(Both roll to their feet and again lock up. Maddox heaves Sakura up and over, but she twists mid air and takes Maddox over with a rapid Hip Toss. Sakura then snaps a kick to the head before dropping and wrapping him up.)
Sir Oliver: By Jove! She’s deftly secured him within the grasp of that Octopus Stretch.
Lobo: Yeah and it’s locked in tight.
V: #Yawn2TheSequel.
(Maddox squirms, shifts and does his best to get to the ropes. He can’t get there. He tries to extricate himself, but Saint Sakura modifies her hold and thwarts his attempts. As she cranks up the pressure, he’s left with no choice but to tap!)
Sir Oliver: Blimey!
Lobo: I couldn’t have put it better, Sir Oliver. That was a VERY close fought battle, but Saint Sakura takes the W on her debut here in UPW. Congratulations to her. But Maddox pushed her hard – seriously hard. I wonder how much she’ll have left in the tank to take on David Berg.
V: Like, totally not enough. He’s some street-fighting, army, special forces, ninja or some shit like that. Hopefully he’ll break her into little pieces. Hey, like maybe if I tell him she’s Palestinian, he’ll go all mental on her ass.
Sir Oliver: Alas – for you – she looks not even remotely Arabic.
V: She could be a sympathiser. I bet he’d believe that.
(David Berg comes out to much applause and cheering. He rubs his hands together and simply nods at Saint Sakura. The bell rings and they immediately close. Sakura lashes out with lightning fast kicks. These Berg ducks, blocks or simply sidesteps. Nonetheless Sakura is relentless and catches his knee. The leg buckles and he falls to the mat, catching himself on the ropes. She fires a Thrust kick to the back of his head and then jumps onto his back locking an arm around his neck to restrict his breathing. Berg stands and stumbles back to drive her back into the turnbuckle. She clings on. He repeats it again, yet still she hangs on.)
Lobo: Berg is struggling here. Can she claim another big scalp?
(Berg manages another big crunching block into the corner. This time it’s sufficient to break the hold and Berg immediately grabs a wrist to pull her over with an Arm Drag. He clings on to the arm and attempts to hyper-extend it, but Sakura rolls up to bring both feet up and blast him in the face.)
Lobo: Damn, but the fans are really being spoiled by this one. It’s been drama from the get-go and now we have another very close and fascinating contest.
V: But with like, totally less blood.
(Both separate and smoothly roll back to their feet. Sakura charges, but Berg catches and upends her. He deposits her with an Implant DDT, but she curls up taking the impact on her upper back. She then kicks out, punting Berg back to the ropes. He hits them and flies back out and clobbers her with a Flying Spinning Side Kick!)
Sir Oliver: By George, that was something of a monster, was it not, Old Chap?
Lobo: It sure was and I think Sakura is in trouble here.
(Berg pulls her up into a Gutbuster and then hits a Gutwrench Suplex. He then drops and covers.)
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THR’-
Lobo: She kicks out!
(Berg breaks cleanly and steps back awaiting Sakura to stand. This she does quickly. She immediately darts in with a leaping Superman Punch! It catches Berg and knocks him back into the ropes. As he comes back out she hits a Rolling Thunder and drags him straight into a pin attempt.)
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - TH’-
Lobo: Kick out!
Sir Oliver: Yes, she certainly surprised him then.
(Sakura breaks cleanly and backs up smiling. Berg stands, unsmiling. He nods at her and calls for a test of strength. Sakura slowly advances. As she locks hands he immediately pulls her into a T Bone Suplex. With Sakura buried into the mat, he stomps on her core and then with both feet delivers the Hebrew Hammer.)
Lobo: Ouch a truly vicious Curb Stomp!
Sir Oliver: Quite so, Old Boy. That’s his finisher and “finishing” is what he is highly adept at. Excuse me for finishing with a preposition. Quite unforgivable, really. I shall endeavour to do better.
V: So should she, because Berg has dropped and is going for the win here. Say, do you think that like, maybe she has internal bleeding after that?
Edwards: ONE!
Sir Oliver: Unlikely
Edwards: TWO!!
Lobo: She looks to have a core that’s as impressive as Pixi’s.
Edwards: THREE!!
V: Or not.
Sir Oliver: Mr Berg advances after a hard and closely contested battle.
V: And like his grand prize is to fight – THAT!
(CJ Walker comes down to a very mixed reception. As soon as the bell rings the two men close. Berg immediately goes to work targeting CJ’s core, but Walker has fought him before and repeatedly blocks those attempts.)
Lobo: I can see CJ’s tactics here. He’s targeting Berg’s knee and quads. He’s not going to be able to impact Walker’s gut if his weapons are weakened.
V: Or like removed. He could just rip the leg off and beat him with the soggy end! Like, how amazing would that be?
(Berg shifts tactics and weeps to take the massive figure of Walker to the mat. He immediately sets about stomping on the man’s stomach. CJ grabs the ropes and pulls himself under them. He drops down and then stretches before unhurriedly walking around the ring. Berg calmly follows, looking to attack as soon as CJ makes his attempt to get back in. The referee counts.)
Sir Oliver: Whilst this undoubtedly accords Mr Walker substantial recovery time, I must confess that I am somewhat concerned about how he’ll re-enter the ring without suffering even greater injury.
V: Yeah, it’ll be like totally awesome.
(The count gets dangerously close to completion when CJ snatches up a wad of papers from the announce desk - a wad of papers and a pencil. He throws the papers up in the air – towards the ring. They flutter around masking his movement and distracting the referee. CJ dives into the ring, but Berg is ready. He jumps forward and stamps on CJ's massive chest. CJ catches the leg and rams the pencil into the side of the knee! Berg shouts in pain and hops back. CJ casts the pencil aside as the last of the paper flutters to the canvas.)
V: Oh, like, that was totally fucking inspired! And see! Look there! Blood!
Sir Oliver: A scurrilous tactic. He should hang his head in shame.
V: Why? It totally worked.
(Berg hops backwards and seeks to massage the knee. CJ powers up from the mat and Spears him into a corner. There he repeatedly sends hammer blows into the injured knee. He then rocks Berg back with a European Uppercut before crushing him into the corner with a brutal Heart Punch.)
Lobo: Walker uses the Heart Punch to finish his opponents off. Berg is definitely going to know about that!
(Walker pulls Berg up and out of the corner with a Snap Suplex. He then stands and scoops Berg up to deliver a Falling Powerbomb.)
Sir Oliver: Quite the merciless brute, is he not?
V: Yeah. And your point is?
(CJ scoots around and covers.)
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THRE’-
Lobo: Shoulder up!
(CJ does not break cleanly, but batters Berg with a back elbow and then pulls him up into a Ripcord Clothesline. He then steps away and starts to climb the ropes at the corner.)
Lobo: Oh now, this can’t be good.
Sir Oliver: I find it a perplexing tactic. Why not continue to press his advantage?
(Berg rolls somewhat stiffly to one knee. The other leg is loath to bend. He pushes up just as CJ Walker launches from the top rope!)
Lobo: Top Rope Moonsault!
V: And he like totally NAILED it. #Crushed #IcedBerg.
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THREE!!!
Lobo: And there it is! CJ Walker wins the Gauntlet Match!
Sir Oliver: In most unsavoury fashion.
V: No way! I like, totally savoured all of that bloodshed.
Lobo: It was an epic and very memorable battle an the perfect set up for tonight’s main event.
V: Yay – time for some REAL class as we get to see Devy and the Black Hand show everyone else just how damn good you have to be to get even CLOSE to them!
========================================================
The Black Hand vs. Nathaniel, Dillian DeHaven, & Disorganized Chaos
========================================================
Lobo: It’s time for our main event. An 8 person tag match that pits Nathaniel, Dillian DeHaven, and Disorganized Chaos against The Black Hand.
Sir Oliver: Edwards is going to have his hands full in this one.
V: I think I’m going to be seeing loads of violence. Like, let’s get started!
(Cut to the ring)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is an 8 person tag. It is set for one fall and has a 1 hour time limit. Introducing first…coming down the aisle with his manager, Cliff Ragsdale, weighing in at 245 pounds, I give you "THE DUKE" DILLIAN DEHAVEN!
("Fire Water Burn" By The Bloodhound Gang plays as DeHaven makes his way to the ring, being led by his manager, Cliff Ragsdale. DeHaven walks slowly to the ring with a stoic look on his face. Ragsdale and DeHaven are all business. Ragsdale is wearing a blue cape/shirt with black jeans. DeHaven is wearing a gray t-shirt with black tights.)
*Anderson: Next…
(Cliff Ragsdale is standing in the ring and rudely snatches the mic from Elijah Anderson.)
*Ragsdale: Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and give a warm welcome to the most dangerous man in UPW! He resides in Reno, Nevada....he is 6 foot 4, weighs in at 245 pounds, he is being accompanied to the ring by his beautiful girlfriend, Brittany! He is the man known as NATHANIEL!
("Come As You Are" by Nirvana plays as Nathaniel and his girlfriend Brittany emerge from the back. They stop and Nathaniel glares at the crowd as a spotlight shines on him. Nathaniel receives a hostile reception from the crowd as he and Brittany make their way to the ring. Nathaniel is stone-faced and Brittany has a big grin on her face. Brittany holds the ropes open as Nathaniel enters the ring. Brittany claps as Nathaniel fist bumps Ragsdale before mean mugging the crowd. Nathaniel then removes his grunge-style flannel shirt and hands it to Brittany as the crowd continues to boo.
Ragsdale gives the mic back to Anderson)
*Anderson: Next…coming to the ring.. from Detroit, Michigan... she stands at five foot five inches tall and weighs in at one hundred and eighteen pounds... she is the Chaotic Princess.. ARIANA SEARS!!! Her tag team partner, from Dark Falls, Indiana... he stands at six foot three inches tall and weighs in tonight at two hundred and five pounds... JESTER LEBEAU!!! Together they are Disorganized Chaos!!!
(As Sound of Madness by Shinedown begins, Ariana comes out wearing what seems to be red shorts and a red top that shows her midriff and cleavage equally. Her boots are black with purple laces and a black hoodie draped over her shoulders that reads Chaotic Princess on the back. Her hair is done up into pig tails as a purple rose sits in her hair.)
Lobo: It seems that Jester hasn’t recovered from the severe beatdown he has suffered the past couple of shows.
V: Like, I’m surprised he’s still breathing!
*Anderson: And their opponents, Devin Bishop, Rain Blackhart, Adam Miller, and King Diaz. Together they are THE BLACK HAND!
(As "Nucleus" by Robert Slump begins to play over the P.A. system, the arena goes dark. Red and purple light beams begin to flash up and down the walkway as smoke covers the area in front of the curtains. The Black Hand come out as a team and the spotlight shines on them. They point to the ring and laugh as they arrive.)
Lobo: It seems The Black Hand is amused that this is going to be a 4 on 3 match.
Sir Oliver: No wonder. They enjoy having an advantage, and this could be a big one.
V: Like, this should have been billed as a 7 person tag match.
(Referee Edwards calls for the bell and the match is underway. Adam Miller starts things off for The Black Hand while Nathaniel starts off for his team. Both men lock up. Miller takes Nathaniel over in a side headlock. Nathaniel sends Miller into the ropes and Miller comes off with a body check that staggers Nathaniel. Miller hits the ropes once again and Nathaniel surprises him with a hip toss, then cinches up a rear chin lock.
Nathaniel with a chop to Miller’s throat and Miller tumbles to the mat. Nathaniel with the quick cover.)
Edwards: 1… (Diaz in the ring and breaks up the pin attempt.)
Lobo: It looks like Nathaniel, DeHaven and Sears have an uphill battle ahead of them.
V: Like, 3 taking on 4? D’uh!
Sir Oliver: I believe that my esteemed colleague means that The Black Hand is going to make sure that any pin attempt is interfered with.
V: Like, that’s what teams do. And, since there are only 3 of them, a member of The Black Hand is going to be free.
(Nathaniel is on his feet and tags in DeHaven. DeHaven charges in and hauls Miller to his feet. DeHaven has Miller up and sends him crashing to the mat with a standing suplex. DeHaven is up first and drags Miller to his feet. Miller sends DeHaven to the mat with a short clothesline and dashes over to make the tag to King Diaz.
Diaz is in the ring as DeHaven gets back to his feet. Diaz grabs DeHaven and sets him up for a DDT. DeHaven blocks it and sends Diaz down with a back body drop. DeHaven drops an elbow on Diaz and goes for the cover.)
Edwards: 1…kickout.
(DeHaven is up first. Diaz rolls out of DeHaven’s grasp and springs to his feet. Diaz stays low to the mat and sends DeHaven to the mat with a leg sweep. Diaz charges up and drops on DeHaven for the cover.)
Edwards: 1…shoulder up.
(Both men are back on their feet. DeHaven and Diaz lock up and Diaz goes behind DeHaven with a Grecian waist lock. Diaz takes DeHaven over with a gut wrench suplex, then springs to his feet. Diaz starts putting the big boots to DeHaven who rolls out of the ring to get away from the assault.
Diaz with a stage dive. DeHaven catches him and carries him over to the guardrail. DeHaven drops Diaz throat first onto the guardrail, then carries him back to the ring. DeHaven rolls Diaz back into the ring and climbs back in. Diaz starts crawling to the Black Hand corner. DeHaven grabs him by the ankle, pulling him back.
Blackhart grabs Diaz by the arm and tries to get him back to the corner. Since it was through the bottom and middle rope, it doesn’t count as a tag. Diaz lashes out with his foot and kicks DeHaven in the face, forcing DeHaven to release the foot. Diaz scrambles to his corner and tags in Blackhart.
Blackhart enters the ring and is met immediately by a kick to the midsection. DeHaven grabs Blackhart in a double underhook and takes him over, sending him crashing to the mat. Blackhart springs back to his feet and lands a hard right on DeHaven as he moves in on him.
Blackhart grabs DeHaven and whips him hard into the Black Hand corner. Diaz and Miller start pummeling DeHaven. Blackhart charges in and launches himself at DeHaven. DeHaven manages to rolls out of the way, Blackhart smashes into Miller and Diaz. DeHaven rapidly gets to his own corner and tags Sears into the match.
Sears comes in and Blackhart immediately grabs her in a bear hug. Sears with an ear ringer that forces the break. Sears snaps off a kick to Blackhart’s midsection that doubles him over. Sears with a double axe handle that sends Blackhart crashing to the mat.
On the outside of the ring, DeHaven is over on the Black Hand side. He pulls Miller to the floor and starts mixing it up with him. Diaz drops to the floor and starts bashing DeHaven. Nathaniel races over and tackles Diaz.)
Lobo: Things are totally out of hand here!
Sir Oliver: It looks like the two in the ring are going to join in on the fun on the outside. Sears and Blackhart leap out of the ring and join in the melee.
V: This is more entertaining than the regular match! Come on…blood!
Lobo: Referee Anderson is calling for order and starts to count both teams out. Both teams disengage, The Black Hand gets back up on the apron while Nathaniel, and DeHaven head back to their corner. Sears and Blackhart are back in the ring and referee Anderson calls for them to wrestle.
(Sears makes the tag to Nathaniel in. Blackhart tags Bishop in. Nathaniel and Bishop immediately charge each other and lock up. Bishop takes Nathaniel in a standing wrist lock.
Suddenly, from the back comes Jester LeBeau in a hospital gown, racing toward the ring.)
Lobo: Jester LeBeau! What is he doing? He should be in the hospital!
(Blackhart charges out to try to stop him and LeBeau nails him with a hard forearm. LeBeau sends Blackhart to the floor and starts to stomp on him. Miller charges out to save his partner and LeBeau instantly shifts his focus to Miller.
LeBeau picks up a chair and smashes it hard across Miller’s face. Miller goes down and LeBeau starts to smash the chair into Miller’s midsection. Diaz comes charging down and attempts to grab the chair from LeBeau. LeBeau kicks him in the groin with a nasty kick.)
V: It’s up…it’s good!
(In the ring Nathaniel has Bishop set up for The Last Stand. He’s got Bishop up…Bishop slides out of it and cinches Nathaniel up in an STF!)
Lobo: Nathaniel is in serious trouble!
Sir Oliver: It does appear that Ragsdale is there to offer some assistance.
V: Like any great manager! I know that Ariana is looking for a manager and she can do a lot worse than Ragsdale!
Lobo: Referee Edwards doesn’t see what Ragsdale is doing as he’s distracted by the brouhaha outside. Ragsdale is trying to slip in a pair of brass knuckles to Nathaniel, but Nathaniel can’t quite reach them.
Sir Oliver: Sears leaps into the ring and scoops up the brass knucks. She’s looking at them quizzically.
V: Come on, Ariana! Do the right thing!
Lobo: Sears slips the brass knucks on and…she slams them hard into Bishop’s head, causing him to release the hold. Nathaniel picks Bishop up in The Last Stand and nails it. Sears calls Edwards to check the pin.
Edwards: 1…2…3!
(BELL RINGS)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, in the time of 12:11, your winners, the team of Nathaniel, Dillian DeHaven and Ariana Sears!
Sir Oliver: I can not believe what I just saw!
V: You’re right. No one pins my Devy, but me.
Lobo: Jester threw a wrench into everything showing up unexpectedly, but what’s worse for The Black Hand is Cliff’s plan didn’t backfire. Ariana Sears used the brass knucks to knock out our reigning World Openweight Champion.
Sir Oliver: I believe Mr. Ragsdale will see it regardless as a pin fall over Mr. Bishop by Nathaniel.
Lobo: That you are correct on. Through all this chaos, look who has a mic now.
(Jester LeBeau stands on the outskirts of the ring in his hospital gown with a brace on one knee and one shoulder tightly wrapped and dragging an IV pole behind him. Several kids at ringside cheer and chant for him, each and everyone wearing a ‘I’m a Fuckstick’ t shirt.)
Jester: “Hey assholes! You forgot to finish the job ‘cause I’M STILL HERE!! And I am sick and fucking tired of everyone sending me to a hospital! They are so stingy with the good drugs and the blowjobs. Well, inbreds and fuckwits… now it’s my turn!
“You see, in a few days UPW heads to Japan where Korakuen Hall will host Hostile Fury! And on that card Arianna and I will be defending OUR UPW Tag Team Titles against Drunken Adam Miller and Burger King Diaz. They already know they can not beat us, but with the bullshit that they have pulled I said to myself – ‘Self, what can we do to punish these idiots for their actions and their beliefs?’ and my self answered ‘Teach them something about the Japanese wrestling culture.’ And I have to admit that is a fantastic idea. So I made a couple of calls, got higher than goose pussy flying south and came up with this little spark of genius.
“You see, in Japan, wrestling is treated very differently than here. They hit harder, jump higher, are respected once it is earned, but there was also a culture that while conceived at a concession stand in Tupelo, Mississippi, was born and nurtured in Japan. Over there when things get extreme, they REALLY get extreme… sorry Philly, but you weren’t the first nor the epicenter of that movement. So, Rated M&M let me introduce to you a little concept that will put asses in seats and eyes on the screen…
“Let’s start with the ropes, regular ropes just don’t do enough damage, so they replaced the ropes with barbed wire. Throw your opponent into this and there will be blood and tearing of flesh. That in itself makes me smile, how about you boys? Next let’s add a few boxes of fluorescent light tubes around the ring to use. The shatter with a great pop, and the glass is so thin that the shards can easily bury itself into your skin and good luck trying to pull any of it out before the infection sets in. While we’re at it , cover the ground with shattered glass!
“And for the coup de grace, how about some C-4 plastic explosive. Just put a little of this on each turnbuckle pad with a pressure switch and throw someone into the corner… POW! Or put some under the pads outside the ring, toss over the rope and BANG! They come flying back over! Or, and this one is pretty intense and difficult to get just right, put it under the ring on a timer and you’re guaranteed that the match will not go over 20 or 30 minutes.
“Add any one of these and the match is pretty extreme, add two or even three and it’s a bit more hazardous than usual but put it all together into one match and I’m getting a chub just thinking about it, put it into one match and the crowd will go wild as we pin the remaining pieces of Rated M to retain OUR titles. So in respect to the tradition and roots of wrestling in Japan, I say our title defense at Hostile Fury will be as hostile and furious as possible. Throw in all this and more so we can create Jester’s Playhouse!
“What? You say this is too dangerous? It could be almost fatal? Who gives a fuck! I don’t care about your life Miller, I don’t care about your life Diaz and I sure as hell don’t care about my life! I don’t know the difference between a bad idea and a war crime. But I know that I have a list of mother fuckers that I want to see beaten, bloodied, scattered, smothered and covered and you two are next in line! What do you say? Do you want to see a boring typical match up where Rated M can lose yet have a rematch later being disrespectful to Japanese culture? (the crowd boos)
“OR do we enter my funhouse, where Diaz and Miller will be lucky if they leave the ring with all their fingers, toes, ears, arms, legs and balls – if they have any- intact? (the crowd erupts)
“By the way kids, you don’t really have a choice. This is going to happen so make sure your medical insurance – or life insurance - is good in Japan because you’re going to be using it.”
(Jester drops the mic and heads down the aisle with Ariana.)
Lobo: What a challenge by Jester LeBeau. He is a sick, sick man… but that’s even further than I thought he could ever go with a challenge.
Sir Oliver: I am not certain that is suitable entertainment for anyone.
V: #THATSHITISLIT
Lobo: We are…
(Carach Angren’s “Skull with a Forked Tongue” begins to play as out heads The Crimson Mask. He stops after emerging from the entrance and you can see his glare settle on Rain Blackhart. The two lock eyes as the show comes to a close.)
HOSTILE FURY
JAPAN
OCTOBER 31
MAIN EVENT
WORLD OPEN WEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
"The Apex" Devin Bishop vs. Nathaniel
JESTER’S PLAYHOUSE
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Disorganized Chaos vs. Rated M
BOYD GAMING HIGH ROLLER CHAMPIONSHIP SCRAMBLE MATCH
"The Original" Bryan Black vs. Joe Nobody vs. Saint Sakura vs. Maddox vs.
"The Maniac" Mark Murphy vs. Jett OR Jumbo Robinson
FATAL FOURWAY
"The Vengeful One" CJ Walker vs. The Crimson Mask vs.
"The King of the Streets" David Berg vs. Vicious
15 YEARS IN THE MAKING - FINAL GRUDGE MATCH
Cage vs. TCE
DUMPSTER MATCH
Candy vs. Vile
BAR ROOM BRAWL
Team Sp!ke vs. THC
END OF DAYS
FRANCE
OCTOBER 31
SIN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
*The D20 Chose a Flag Match
"The Duke" Dillian DeHaven vs. "The Professional" Rain Blackhart
FRIDAY NIGHT FREE-FOR-ALL
EPISODE XXXIV
(Smash Mouth’s “All Star” kicks off this evening’s events. It is the Friday Night Free-For-All prior to UP Wrestling heading to Japan for the Hostile Fury special event. The anticipation is high with the wrestlers, staff, and fans of who will be representing the company at End of Days as well. It appears no one will have to wait long as Madame Wu kicks off the show.
As The HU Band’s “Wolf Totem” plays and slowly builds…)
V: Okay, all you Old Dudes need to shut it now. This is like, SUPER important.
Sir Oliver: “Shut it”? I most assuredly will NOT! I’ll have you know you Lady that I am providing an expert insight into the HEART of the wrestling industry and as such should at NO time EVER be requested to “Shut it”.
V: Like, suit yourself then, but seriously – you REALLY want to keep spouting your crap when my MOM is coming out? I mean, it’s ONLY your damn job on the line.
Sir Oliver: Well, why didn’t you simply say so? Naturally, I have no inclination to trespass upon Madam Wu’s authority.
V: Damn straight!
Lobo: Hey, I said NADA!
(Madam Wu parades imperiously to the ring accompanied by two of CJ Walker’s elite Nifleheim Yakuza and the pulsating rhythm of the Wolf Totem.
At the ring, the two men part the ropes and she gracefully slides in. She’s clad in an Oriental dragon dress and her blonde hair is piled high in an elaborate fashion. Calmly she raises her mic.)
Madam Wu: I do not often find it necessary to make appearances in the ring. Why should I? One does not have a dog and bark oneself.
(She turns her head and smiles faintly in the direction of her brother, Elijah.)
Madame Wu: Still, there occasionally comes a moment that requires my presence. Self-evidently, this is one such.
Lobo: I wonder what this will be? Madam Wu typically only appears to drop bombshells.
Madam Wu: As you know, Hostile Fury fast approaches. For that we return to Japan. I guarantee that it will be a monumental show. It will, though be somewhat different from our last visit, in that FAR MORE tickets shall be made available AND at discounted prices! The atmosphere shall be ELECTRIC.
However…..As great as the show shall undoubtedly be, there will be something missing.
Sir Oliver: Missing? Dear lord, I do hope she’s not referencing US?
Lobo: With Madam Wu anything is possible.
V: Too damn right!
Madam Wu: WHAT, you wonder. What is it that shall no longer be a part of Hostile Fury?
(She calmly scans the expectant crowd as the spotlight wheel over it and the many signs held aloft.)
Madame Wu: The Sin. City. Championship.
Lobo: Whoa! What the hell? Has the Black Hand bought Rain a Bye? DeHaven is going to have a fit!
Sir Oliver: Not to mention a certain Mr Ragsdale.
Lobo: And this crowd sure ain’t impressed. Just listen to that noise.
(Madam Wu waits for the noise to subside before speaking again.)
Madam Wu: The Sin City Championship will NOT take place at Hostile Fury. It will take place the FOLLOWING NIGHT at XHF’s End Of Days! I know. I know that some will be disappointed, BUT UPW has a DUTY to elevate the standards of professional wrestling and the Sin City Championship exemplifies the flavour of what we do. Mr Blackheart and Mr DeHaven will bring UPW to the eyes of the WORLD!
Lobo: Wow! Now that IS news.
Madam Wu: This is our first foray into the XHF global brand. It will NOT be our last as we prove what a dominant force Ultimate Progressive Wrestling is. I have every faith that Blackheart and Rain will NOT let me down.
(She pauses and looks around before adding)
Madame Wu: Nor you either.
Sir Oliver: Oh my! That’s – well, I do hope that we aren’t expected to fly straight out from Japan to commentate at End of Days. The jet lag! It’ll be absolutely frightful, Old Bean.
Lobo: Hey, Madam Wu says ‘jump’, we say ‘how high’, right?
Sir Oliver: Alas, you do speak with more than a modicum of truth.
V: Quit bellyaching. It’s only coz you’re like totally OLD and wrinkly and just can’t hack the pace. I’m gonna be there. Devy will too – we’ll be on his private plane. It’ll be like, totally awesome.
Lobo: Madam Wu has said her piece. She’s heading back as the crowd are still animatedly talking about that bombshell.
Sir Oliver: Yes, it really is quite the stunning proclamation, Old Boy.
V: I love it! Now just give me some more super violent and bloody action and this night will be like, totally perfect.
================
Joe Nobody vs. Bubba
================
*Anderson: All the way from Hickory, North Carolina… he stands at six feet tall and weighs in at a modest two hundred and sixty-two pounds… he is BUBBA!!!
(“Ugly” by Bubba Sparxxx begins to play as Bubba heads out from behind the curtain. He wears blue jeans, old, black wrestling boots, and black suspenders. A shirt is not present. He pulls the suspenders out, sliding his fingers up and down while sticking his tongue out. He lets them go and they snap hard against his skin. Bubba shakes it off and heads into the ring.)
Lobo: Bubba trying to block out all the noise here and I don’t mean from the fans. It’s been a month since we last saw him.
V: What was left of him, like after the Crimson Mask was done.
Lobo: Exactly. He wasn’t medically cleared two weeks ago, but you have to wonder if he was mentally cleared.
*Anderson: He hails from Detroit, Michigan... weighing in at one hundred and ninety-five pounds and standing at six foot, one inch tall... he is The Prince of Perfection... JOE NOBODY!!!
("Sick of Me" by Beartooth begins to play. The camera zooms into Nobody's face who smirks and adjusts his tie before making his way to the ring. As makes it up two steps and stops before turning around to give a young fan his signature fedora.)
Lobo: Joe Nobody made his debut in UP Wrestling at our last show. Tonight, he shows us if his mic skills match his ring ones.
Sir Oliver: I have heard good things, Old Chap.
Lobo: You’d hope so with a nickname like The Prince of Perfection.
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: The match starts with a collar-elbow tie up. Bubba pushes off Joe and starts smacking his stomach.
V: Ew. If he worried more about his opponent than his own belly, Bubba might be, like, good. Might, but probably not.
Lobo: Joe circles and Bubba joins him. They crash together, tying up again. Joe swiftly turns it into a headlock before swinging around and pulling Bubba’s arm behind his back.
Sir Oliver: Strange fellow. Bubba is smacking his belly with his free hand.
V: Super weird.
Lobo: Bubba is trying to muster up some support from the crowd, maybe? Joe doesn’t wait around though and pushes him from behind. Bubba turns and receives a knee to the midsection. Down he goes and Nobody hits the ropes coming back with a front dropkick to Bubba’s face! He drops down and goes for the pin.
Edwards: 1… 2…
Sir Oliver: Bubba kicks out in the same manner a man may move if he were being hit with a crash paddle.
V: That’s oddly accurate.
Lobo: Bubba continues the match. Joe pulls him up and Bubba hits a European uppercut. That surprised Joe who backs up into the rope and uses it to propel forward with a striking elbow to Bubba’s jaw. He plummets to the mat and Joe is showing Bubba just who is going to dictate this match.
Sir Oliver: Strike for strike, Mr. Nobody has one upped Bubba on every occasion.
Lobo: Bubba tries to shake it off, but Nobody measures him and hits a stiff elbow drop. Bubba pops up and flops over.
Sir Oliver: Excellent ring work on display so far from Mr. Nobody.
Lobo: He knows his craft.
V: But still no Devy. Like, no one is. He’s The Apex.
Lobo: And the UP Wrestling World Open Weight Champion. Let’s give Joe a couple matches before we start comparing him to the best in our company.
Sir Oliver: Something tells me that Mr. Nobody would not shy away from a comparison. He seems quite comfortable in his skin.
Lobo: Nobody pulls Bubba up and sends him to the corner. Joe with a running super kick into the corner!
V: Like, he just turned Bubba into a bobblehead doll.
Lobo: Wicked move right there and that has Bubba completely rocked.
Sir Oliver: These fans are getting behind Mr. Nobody. They also like what they are seeing in the ring.
Lobo: Bubba slides down to a sitting position in front of the turnbuckle. Nobody heads to the other side of the ring, mounts up some steam, and rushes in hitting Bubba with a double knee face lift.
Sir Oliver: Good show, Old Sport.
Lobo: Bubba is jarred. Nobody gets back to his feet and pulls Bubba out of the corner going for another pin attempt.
Edwards: 1… 2…
V: Wow, like how did Bubba kick out of that?
Lobo: No clue. Bubba is taking a beating though from The Prince of Perfection.
Sir Oliver: I imagine he will prefer this one over the one the Crimson Mask provided.
Lobo: Nobody mounts Bubba and begins to throw elbow strikes to his face. Edwards checks in and Bubba is trying just enough to show he’s not defenseless.
V: Nobody isn’t going for a TKO, like, he’s looking for that KO.
Sir Oliver: Right you are.
Lobo: Nobody stops the strikes and pins Bubba yet again.
Edwards: 1… 2…
Lobo: Another near fall for Joe Nobody!
Sir Oliver: He will tire this poor fellow out just with these pins.
Lobo: Bubba has shown many times that he has tenacity. You can try and put him down, but it won’t be easy.
V: Joe’s making this beating on Bubba look pretty easy.
Lobo: Nobody pulls Bubba up and sends him into the ropes. Bubba hooks them to stop from rebounding off them. Joe must have a sixth sense because he was ready for that. He does not leap or look off balanced preparing to hit Bubba as he returned. Instead, he rushes forward and clotheslines Bubba over the top rope!
Sir Oliver: Well, maybe Mr. Nobody will be going for a TKO this evening.
Lobo: Bubba is crawling on the floor and Joe is content with letting him.
Edwards: 1… 2… 3… 4…
Lobo: Bubba grabs the guardrail and begins pulling himself up.
Edwards: 5… 6… 7…
Sir Oliver: Oh heavens, Bubba looks like he has seen a ghost!
Lobo: No, one of our fans is wearing a Crimson Mask mask. Bubba, I am sure is out of it or just flashing back.
V: Bubba’s going on the run!
Lobo: Not on Nobody’s watch… Joe Nobody with a flying side kick off the apron! Bubba is laid out again, but Nobody wastes no time. He pulls Bubba back up and hurls him into the ring.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Nobody is back in the corner and he’s calling for Bubba to get up. This crowd is on their feet!
V: Don’t do it Bubba, if you like, know what’s best.
Lobo: It takes some time, but Bubba is trying to stand.
V: Bad idea…
Lobo: Nobody with the Denial of Perfection!
V: Bubba isn’t kicking out of that one.
Edwards: 1… 2… 3!
Lobo: There it is. Joe Nobody debuts in UP Wrestling and gets his first win or what looks like many more to come.
*Anderson: The winner of this match… The Prince of Perfection… JOE NOBODY!!!
Sir Oliver: Very nice way to start his career here if I do say.
Lobo: Joe is going to head to Hostile Fury with a lot of momentum. I can’t wait to find out tonight who he’ll face next.
==========================
Wicked vs. The Robinson Family
==========================
Sir Oliver: We are indeed now most privileged to announce this fantastic fracas between The Robinsons and Wicked. What a contest this promises to be.
V: If those chicken-shits actually grow a fucking backbone and TURN UP.
*Anderson: From the great state of New York, they are Jumbo and Jett... THE ROBINSON FAMILY!!!
"If you're ready for this... (say you're ready for this!!!)?"
"If you're ready for this... (say you're ready for this!!!)?"
[The sounds of "That's the Joint" by Funky 4+1 play through the loudspeakers.
"ARE YOU READY FOR THIS? Are you ready for this?"
"ARE YOU READY FOR THIS? Are you ready for this?"
"ARE YOU READY FOR THIS? Are you ready for this?"
"THAT'S THE JOINT!!!!!"
[The music keeps playing, but the Robinson's are nowhere to be found.]
Sir Oliver: I say, Old Boy, do you think that perchance those chaps took fright?
[The music keeps playing and the crowd gets confused. A minute or two later, the music is faded out,]
Bishop Lobo: "Well it looks like we're going to go to Wicked's entrance and see if the Robinson's show up!"
*Anderson: UP Wrestling proudly presents - Vicious and Vile! The team that can only be - WICKED!!!
(The lights drop. The heavy pulsating beat of "Hearse of the Pharaohs" by Witchery thunders out from the PA system. Slowly the lights gradually brighten to reveal a fog shrouded ramp, onto which step Wicked. A giant, dark haired brute of a man stands next to a beautiful, but hard featured woman. Both are clad entirely in black. That black is only broken by matching blood red inverted pentacles on their vests. The crowds BOOS loudly, but the pair merely scowl at them as they arrogantly make their way to the ring.)
Lobo: Those two are looking as mean as ever.
V: Yeah, we should like, totally see some arms and legs ripped off, IF those spineless wimps ACTUALLY show up.
Lobo: Well Vile and Vicious don’t look remotely concerned. I guess they see this as an easy pay day. They are paying no attention to the crowd or proceedings.
Crowd: "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
[Jumbo and Jett appear at the top of the ramp and run down to the ring, Jett leads the way, gets in the ring, jumps on the top rope, and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK!!!!]
Lobo: Damn! What an entrance.
Sir Oliver: That knocked Vicious into the ropes! No easy feat, I can assure you of that
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: There’s the bell. No way was Edwards waiting for things to settle down. Vicious spins around and goes straight after Jett. Jett rolls backwards, springs to his feet and jags left narrowly avoiding a Haymaker that could have decapitated him!
Sir Oliver: By Jove, the lad is deucedly light on his toes! And good thing too, Old Bean; had that blow struck true then I fear that this would have been a record-breakingly short fight.
V: “Breakingly”? Is that like, even a word? And like, do I even give a shit?
[Vicious pursues Jett, but is unable to land a telling blow. The behemoth’s massive reach serves him well though and Jett does take several glancing blows as he underestimates just how far Vicious can lunge.]
Lobo: It’s some truly impressive dodging from Jett. He’s covering a LOT of ground in that ring.
Sir Oliver: Yes, and making Mr Vicious do the same. Something he is ill-disposed to do.
Lobo: Oh, now Jett surprises Vicious by darting in low under that reach and JAB! Catches him smartly on the jaw. Another! And ANOTHER! That’s three now and STILL Vicious struggles to hit his highly elusive opponent.
V: And? You like, think those little stings are gonna bother THAT? [Points at Vicious]
Sir Oliver: Do not be so hasty to disparage the efficacy of those blows. Young Master Jett has clearly studied at his father’s feet. Mister Jab Robinson was, in his day, quite the pugilist I’ll have you know.
[Filled with confidence at his success Jett delivers several more swift jabs. Vicious takes them all and just keeps coming at him. Eventually he manages to snare an arm; an arm that he engulfs in his massive hand. He pulls Jett in to hammer home a Heart Punch.]
Sir Oliver: Oh my word! That practically crushed the poor man’s chest.
Lobo: Yeah now Vicious Irish Whips him across the ring and into the ropes of the Wicked corner.
V: Where Vile is like, totally ready to pounce!
Lobo: Leaping knee to the face! Damn, that had to hurt.
Sir Oliver: And was totally illegal. She had in no way been tagged! Fortunately Mr Edwards is not shy in reminding them of that and proceedings are halted as he rightfully instils much needed order.
V: Things were just about to get interesting and he just fucking STOPPED it.
Lobo: And it looks like either Vicious has tired of chasing Jett OR Vile wants in on the action, because the tag is made.
V: Oh that’s all on Vile. Now this should be fun.
[Jett darts in and again sends out the famous Jab. He catches Vile once, Twice, but she blocks the third and snaps out a side kick catching him just under the ribs. Jett doubles and hops back to mitigate the damage, but Vile follows.]
Lobo: Left hook – to the jaw!
V: Oh man, is he like, totally spitting teeth after that?
Sir Oliver: It was a solid hit and no mistake. Alas it was also a closed fist -a VERY closed fist. Again Mr Edwards is called into action and unhesitatingly awards Miss Vile a much deserved Official Warning.
Lobo: And that's given Jett all the time he needs to tag in Jumbo. He needed some recovery time after that – and got it. In comes Jumbo.
Sir Oliver: By George! He’s a rather substantial unit, is he not?
V: You mean he’s FAT. Just spit it.
Sir Oliver: I assure you, young lady, that a gentleman NEVER spits. Such an uncouth habit.
[Jumbo stretches his neck left and right, stretches his arms and then advances on Vile. She darts forward and drives an elbow into his gut. It bounces out. She spins around and steps back out of reach. Jumbo advances again. Vile steps in and fires a Thrust kick into that round belly. She succeeds in making him step back a pace, but little else. She looks to her husband who gestures with two clawed hands. She nods and smiles. Jumbo barrels forward to crush her into a neutral comer, but she darts aside, hitting the ropes, she bounces up and onto his back, where she tears at his eyes.]
V: Like AWESOME! Tear his fucking eyes out!
Lobo: Jumbo can’t see!
Sir Oliver: But he doesn’t need to. He falls backwards and -
V: #Squished.
Lobo: That totally crushed Vile and Jumbo has her pinned
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - TH’
Lobo: NO! In fact; Hell no! Because Vicious grabbed a foot and just hauled ALL of Jumbo off Vile. Damn, that man is strong. He did that with ONE HAND!
Sir Oliver: Just as well – from his perspective as he evaded detection by our esteemed official.
Lobo: Vile stands and boots Jumbo full to the side of the head.
Sir Oliver: perilously close to the temple.
Lobo: Now she stamps on him and – ouch – BOOT SCRAPE!
Sir Oliver: By Jove! That’ll leave a stain and no mistake.
Lobo: Damage dealt, Vile heads to her corner and in comes Vicious. Jumbo sees this and immediately scurries to his own corner as Jett leans in for the tag. He gets – NO! Vicious snares and ankles and pulls Jumbo back. He pulls Jumbo up – across his shoulders and -
Sir Oliver: Good Gracious! He just Gorilla Pressed Slammed the gentleman.
Lobo: I didn’t think I see the day ANYONE could press Jumbo Robinson.
V: Like, that was EPIC. Now shut it Fossils because he’s going for the win here.
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THRE’-
Lobo: Kick out!
Sir Oliver: And Mr Vicious is NOT happy about that. He’s having words – lots of strong words with Mr Edwards.
V: Yeah and like, that has given Jumbo the chance to CRAWL away and tag in Jett.
Lobo: In bounces Jett. He taps Vicious on that massive shoulder. Vicious turns and JAB! Right on the nose!
Sir Oliver: I fear he’s rather stirred the hornet’s nest there.
[Vicious lunges for Jett who dodges. Vicious pursues. Jett tumbles, rolls and trips the man. Vicious just keeps coming. He close, but again Jett drops low and trips him and as Vicious starts to rise, blasts him with a jumping axe kick.]
V: Nimble, little shit, ain’t he?
Lobo: Vicious stands again, shaking off that last strike. He closes again, but again Jett darts backwards – NO! Vile! Vile snagged him from behind. She reached over and grabbed him by the throat! Vicious clobbers him; a solid punch to the gut. Now he bends, grabs the ankles and FLIPS him over the top rope to tumble down outside the ring!
Sir Oliver: Ah, but Mistress Vile has breached the rules AGAIN and AGAIN she accrues an Official Warning.
Lobo: Yeah, one more and this match is over.
[The action pours to the outside as Vicious and Vile drop to go after Jett. Jumbo races around to rescue his brother. The Robinson's find themselves in a bad place; Vicious is brawling with Jumbo, bouncing him alternately off the apron and the barrier. Vile is batting Jett, who gets knocked down pretty badly by a Double-handed Sledgehammer blow. Somehow Jumbo manages to evade a monstrous hook and drops Vicious with a Fallaway slam. He then darts around the corner to Irish whip Vile into the guardrail before he can land a two footed stomp on Jett’s head!. Jumbo then tosses his fallen brother into the ring and tags him in.]
Lobo: The action moves back to the ring and we pick up where we left off with Vicious trying to land a telling blow on Jett and now Jett is taunting the giant.
Sir Oliver: I would question the wisdom of that tactic.
Lobo: NO! Vicious ignores Jett. He hurtles to the Robinson corner, twists and blasts Jumbo with a mighty Back Elbow that knocks him off the apron!
V: Wow, that was like, totally hilarious. Did you see the look on the fat dude’s face?
Lobo: Jett races over intent on stopping Vicious from following up and – NO! Vile is in! She’s in and – Baseball Slide! She takes Jett off his feet! He’s down and she starts to throttle him. Vicious turns to get himself some of the action.
V: But like Jumbo pulls him back. Oh, big mistake. Like Fucking HUGE!
Lobo: Vicious grabs Jumbo by the throat and pummels his face! Blood flies!
Sir Oliver: And Mistress Vile jabs Jett in the throat! Now she rolls the gasping youth up!
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - TH’
Lobo REVERSAL! Jett has her in a Schoolgirl!
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THREE!!!
(BELL RINGS)
*Anderson: Ladies and Gentlemen, your WINNERS – The Robinsons!!!
Sir Oliver: I say! What a commendable victory. And I tip my hat to Mr Junior Robinson. A sound strategy that he’d devised – most sound indeed. Have young master Jett utilise his nimble speed to negate the brute’s savage might. Furthermore, he wisely elected to absent himself from the ring. No need to place oneself needlessly in jeopardy, eh?
Lobo: Yeah, as far as it goes, but the bell means nothing to Wicked. They are STILL trying to tear into Jett! He takes a couple of nasty blows, but now Jumbo piles in. Full Body slam and that breaks things up!
V: Oh yeah, like, just a lot.
Lobo: He and Jett are now looking to get out of Dodge, but Vile has Jett by the ankle and Jumbo has Jett by the arms!
Sir Oliver: By George! Things are going to get messy one Mr Vicious gets -
Lobo; Candy! It’s CANDY! She races down, slides in and knocks Vile backwards. Now she leaps onto Vile and starts banging her head off the mat! Vicious turns to help, but Jett kicks him in the knee! Jumbo pulls him out UNDER the ropes just before Vicious boot stamps where his groin was! Now Junior hurtles down in that wheelchair!
V: Hey, that thing can like, really shift.
Lobo: Junior crashes into Vicious’ ankle just before Vicious can grab Jumbo.
[Things then break down further with Jumbo and Jett attacking Vicious whilst Junior beats a retreat. Candy and Vile continue to savagely tear into each other in the ring. Out comes CJ Walker’s yakuza Wolfpack and they very ungently break things up.]
Lobo: Junior’s tactics were sound. They certainly deserved that win against Wicked.
V: Like, even if they did take some extra licks at the end?
Sir Oliver: And what of Miss Candy and Mistress Vile? They have been separated, but are STILL most eager to tear each other apart. Still, I would commend Miss Candy for her heroic action. She undoubtedly saved someone from lasting injury.
*Anderson: AND! - To settle matters between Vile and Candy – they shall face each other at Hostile Fury!
Lobo: Wow. Big, BIG response to that.
*Anderson: In a Dumpster match!
Sir Oliver: My word! How shocking!
V: Like, totally ace! Vile is gonna rip her to shreds and dump her in the garbage where she belongs!
Sir Oliver: That is a matter for considerable debate and I for one do not like Mistress Vile’s chances.
Lobo: It’s another big talking point for sure, but not for now. Because right now we have even MORE sensational fight action coming up.
Sir Oliver: Then let us tarry not, but with all due alacrity make -
V: Just get on with it!
=====================
Annie Castle vs. Jack Ruby
=====================
Sir Oliver: Next we have a one on one matchup between friendlies I would say.
V: Yawn
Lobo: In fact we have a member of Team Sp!ke, Jack Ruby along with Pixi facing Annie Castle from THC.
Sir Oliver: Quite right. As our fans will recall two weeks ago Team Sp!ke defeated THC but the combatants seem to have remained friends.
V: Booooring
*Anderson: From Holly Springs, Tennessee... she weighs in at one hundred and thirty eight pounds and stands at five foot eight inches tall... everyone welcome... SHOTGUN ANNIE CASTLE!!!
(Shotgun Annie Castle's voice with it's deep Southern drawl is heard over the loudspeakers, dripping with sarcasm.)
"Sugar and spice and everything nice? Hell no! Rattlesnake tails and shotgun shells! That's what this little girl is made of!"
(Castle steps out onto the ramp, a pump action shotgun in one hand and a bottle of black label Tennessee whiskey in the other. She wears a camouflage trucker cap and a bandalier of shotgun shells as well as her in ring gear. She throws her head back and takes a drink from the bottle, then cocks the shotgun one handed. She swaggers to the ring, followed by her manager, Charlie Castle. At the end of the aisle, she hands the shotgun to Charlie, takes another swig from the bottle, handing that off as well. She wipes her mouth with her forearm and slides into the ring under the bottom rope, staying on the mat, looking at the crowd before performing a kip up to her feet. She paces the ring until the match starts.)
*Anderson: Coming down to the ring at six foot five inches tall and weighing two hundred and thirty pounds... from right here in Las Vegas... he is SMILIN' JACK RUBY!!!
("Family Tradition" by Hank Williams Jr. plays as Smilin' Jack comes out from the curtains. Jack is wearing a leather riding coat, a ragged cowboy hat and scuffed cowboy boots. He has on a white singlet to wrestle. Jack carries a pool cue across his shoulders, occasionally taking it in one hand and spinning it like a baton. Jack will take off his hat and riding coat, hand them to the ring attendant, and then climb into the ring. Jack puts his pool cue down in his corner on the apron.)
*Anderson: Your referee is Alexander Xavier Edwards!
Lobo: The bell rings and we are off.
Sir Oliver: Ruby is smiling at the much smaller Annie Castle
V: Just get going already
Sir Oliver: Well Annie needs to stick and move because Mr. Ruby literally looks to be twice her size.
Lobo: The pair try to lock up again but Annie quickly slips behind Ruby and looks to take him down. Ruby just stands and smirks as Annie pulls back and rolls out of the ring to confer with Charlie Castle.
Sir Oliver: She needs to take the big man down but again he is twice her size. Easier said than done.
V: Did Ruby just wink at Pixi? I mean like the arrogance.
Lobo: Annie is back in the ring and as Ruby approaches her she hits a quick drop kick to the left knee.
Sir Oliver: That seems to shock the old chap. Ruby is surprised.
Lobo: Annie with a series of kicks but Ruby doesn’t go down. Ruby grabs Annie and whips her into the ropes, he goes to catch her but she baseball slides between his legs. Ruby slowly turns around but Annie drop kicks his left knee yet again.
Sir Oliver: Oh my, Mr. Ruby is down on one knee.
Lobo: Annie bounces off the ropes and hits a drop kick to the face.
Sir Oliver: Ruby is stunned.
Lobo: Annie with a spinning back kick and Ruby is down. She goes for the cover….1…
Sir Oliver: Oh my. Jack Ruby just stood up while holding the much smaller Annie Castle.
V: This is so uninteresting, like boring.
Lobo: Ruby hits a powerslam and Annie is crushed.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Ruby came down with all his weight on Annie. Mr. Ruby looks at Pixi who claps for him to continue.
Lobo: Jack Ruby with a big leg drop. It connects. He goes for the cover…1….2…kick out by Annie.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Ruby did not hook the leg but he is so much bigger than poor Ms. Annie that he just shrugged.
Lobo: Ruby picks up Annie and delivers another body slam. He goes for another leg drop but Annie moves.
V: Can Ruby be any slower? He is like wrestling’s version of 3G.
Lobo: Annie runs to the ropes, bounces off, and hits a Tornado DDT.
Sir Oliver: She used Mr. Ruby’s size against him and Mr. Ruby is down and dazed. Pixi looks concerned in the corner as Charlie cheers on Annie.
V: Aren’t they like bar hopping friends?
Sir Oliver: Indeed but in the ring they are competitors.
V: Whatever.
Lobo: Annie quickly jumps on top of Ruby and unleashes a bevy of forearm strikes to the face.
Sir Oliver: Looks like Annie has won over the crowd:
V: Not me
Lobo: Annie with a Standing Double Stomp. It connects. COVER…1…2….KICK OUT
Sir Oliver: Mr. Ruby just threw Annie off him. He stands up and has a glare in his eye.
Lobo: Annie charges Ruby with a flying splash but Ruby catches her, he lifts her up and he is just holding her in a suplex position.
V: Woooow…cool
Crowd: 1..2..3..4…5…6…7…8….9….
Sir Oliver: The blood is rushing to Annie’s head.
V: When a head is empty the blood will like rush.
Lobo: BRAINBUSTER….Jack Ruby hits a brainbuster and Annie is down. Ruby looks at Pixi who cheers him on to keep going.
V: Why is the camera pointing at that guy in the stands? He like looks familiar.
Sir Oliver: That is Moe, I believe Moe is very protective of Annie and he has a deep look of concern on his face.
Lobo: Ruby with the cover…1….2….THRE….No Annie got her left foot on the rope.
Sir Oliver: Another mistake by Mr. Ruby. First he doesn’t hook the leg and now he covers his opponent too close to the rope.
V: Like so dumb…
Sir Oliver: Moe is Jack’s friend and employee actually but he looks to be very concerned for Annie.
Lobo: Ruby looks to pick up Annie but she adroitly rolls out of the ring as Charlie checks on her.
Sir Oliver: Pixi is yelling at Mr. Ruby to go after her and not to lose momentum.
Lobo: Ruby rolls out of the ring but Charlie sees him and tells Annie to run back into the ring and she does. As Ruby climbs back in after her, Annie catches him with leg stomps. Ruby is dazed and Annie hits a running bulldog.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Ruby is dazed.
Lobo: Annie goes to the top rope…Moonsault Stomp….it connects.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Ruby is in serious trouble.
Lobo: Cover…1…2…No Ruby kicks out and immediately stands up.
V: Castle weighs like 20 pounds, Ruby is about to finish this. Like now.
Lobo: Annie charges Ruby and goes for a drop kick to the knee again but Ruby is ready. He catches her and hits an open hand slap. Annie is rocked and flies out of the ring.
Sir Oliver: Look at Moe. He is really concerned now and is up.
Lobo: Ruby slides out of the ring and goes after Annie.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Ruby seems to be done playing around and Pixi is encouraging him to finish this.
Lobo: Ruby picks up Annie and hits and Atomic Drop. Annie hits hard and awkwardly on her left ankle. Ruby goes to pick her up but Moe is up.
V: Not this idiot again.
Sir Oliver: Moe is giving Ruby the business. I cannot quite make out what he is saying.
V: Jack is telling him to sit down and mind like his own business.
Lobo: Ruby goes to pick up Annie but Moe grabs his arm. The crowd is shocked. Ruby frees his arm and glares at Moe, who pushes Ruby from behind the railing.
V: Can we like get security out here?
Sir Oliver: This is getting heated for sure. Hotter than a cup of hot tea.
Lobo: Jack Ruby nudges Moe back to his seat with a mind your business glare.
Sir Oliver: Here comes Carson Castle to check on Annie who still seems to be favoring her left knee.
V: Why is the referee checking on her now? Like Annie is such a drama queen.
Lobo: Moe did not like Jack pushing him down. Moe just shoved Jack Ruby with both hands and Ruby just collided with Carson Castle.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Castle is a big man too. He certainly felt that.
V: He didn’t see that Moe pushed Ruby, this is about to get juicy.
Sir Oliver: Moe is now trying to apologize but Carson Castle and Jack Ruby are face to face jawing at one another as the referee continues to check on Annie Castle and her ankle.
Lobo: Annie suddenly shoves Edwards aside and jumps on Ruby. She unleashes a series of strikes as Castle throws Ruby back into the ring. Annie hits a drop kick to the back of the left knee as the confused Ruby goes down.
Sir Oliver: Annie has him set up for her 12 Gage finisher.
Lobo: And she connects, the Shining Wizard to the back of the head and Jack Ruby is down.
V: No way…
Lobo: COVER…1….2…THREEE!
Sir Oliver: Annie Castle just picked up a huge victory.
Lobo: Pixi jumps in to check on Ruby.
Sir Oliver: And Carson Castle jumps in and seems to want to go after Mr. Ruby, still harboring some hard feelings from earlier.
Lobo: But Pixi jumps up and pushes Carson away. He stops and looks at her before Annie steps in and she decks Pixi.
V: Now this is fun.
Sir Oliver: Hostilities between friends.
Lobo: THC walks in disgust but victorious while Jack Ruby and Pixi are both down and in a daze.
=======================
Bryan Black vs. Mark Murphy
=======================
Sir Oliver: The next match tonight promises to be a heated affair, as Bryan Black attacked Mark Murphy at the last Friday Night Free for All.
V: Yeah. Black has some payback coming his way.
Lobo: Let's not forget that Murphy has been given an ultimatum by Cliff Ragsdale...win this match, or he is out of the CCZA.
V: Totally not the situation he wants to be in.
Lobo: Let's go up to the ring for….hold on! What's this?
Sir Oliver: It would seem that Murphy and Black have already begun backstage as they tumble through the curtains and down the entrance ramp.
(The two exchange punches as they roll down the ramp. Murphy gains top control, raining down elbow strikes. Black reverses and takes top control, hitting Murphy with a few stiff forearms to the face before breaking away and stomping Murphy in the abdominal region. Black begins to walk towards the ring, but Murphy gets to his feet and tackles Black from behind. Murphy picks Black up, placing him in a headlock and laying a few clubbing forearms across Black's back.)
Lobo: Mark Murphy is showing a lot of fight tonight despite being a little worse for wear after being embarrassed by Rain Blackheart and Bryan Black two weeks ago.
V: Like, he doesn't wanna lose his job with Ragsdale. He'll end up on food stamps and shopping at Goodwill.
Sir Oliver: Oh will you stop it, Miss Wu. That is very disrespectful to those in difficult financial situations.
V: Hey Murphy. Just so you know, you don't EAT the food stamps. You take them to the grocery store to buy food...and don't lick them either. They don't work like postage stamps.
(Murphy goes to whip Black into the guard rail, but Black reverses. Murphy crashes hard and stumbles forward where Black is waiting to scoop slam Murphy onto the concrete. Black picks up Murphy and walks him toward the ring. Black goes to slam Murphy head first into the ring post. Murphy gets his boot up to block the move. Black tries once more to force Murphy forward, and Murphy blocks again, nailing Black with a back elbow. Murphy rolls Black into the ring.)
Lobo: The bell finally rings and this match is officially underway.
Sir Oliver: These men have quite the history between them.
V: Maybe, but I'm not sure Murphy is going to have much of a future if he keeps taking shots like that.
(Black is on his feet as Murphy rolls under the bottom rope into the ring. Black kicks Murphy several times in the ribs using the top rope for leverage. Edwards steps in to call for the break and Black breaks cleanly. Murphy gets to his knees and Black closes in to bring him to his feet. Murphy lays in two forearms to Blacks midsection but Black raises a knee into Murphy's ribs. Black fires Murphy into the ropes and lands a text book drop kick to Murphy's chest. Murphy is brought to his feet and Black executes a vicious inverted atomic drop. Black runs the ropes and hits a flying calf kick.)
Sir Oliver: Bryan Black goes for the pin attempt.
Edwards: ONE…
V: Pack your bags for the poor house, Murphy.
Edwards: TWO…
Lobo: Black doesn't have the leg hooked.
Edwards: THREE…
Lobo: No! Murphy just slipped his shoulder off the mat!
V: Good thing too. He was just a breath away from being homeless.
( Black gets to his feet and pulls Murphy up. Black takes Murphy up and over with a vertical suplex. Black goes for the cover but is tossed off quickly. Black rolls to his feet and hits a spinning back kick to Murphy as he gets to his feet, doubling him over. Black runs the ropes and looks to be going for his finisher, the Wall, but Murphy catches him and awkwardly drops his throat first across the top rope.)
Sir Oliver: A lucky break for Murphy. He surely would have been defeated had that maneuver landed properly.
Lobo: Murphy is a veteran of UPW, and he and Black have clashed many times. I'd say he had that move scouted.
V: You mean, like Cliff Ragsdale scouted that move. He won't be getting that level of management anymore if he loses again.
(Murphy takes a moment to catch his breath as Black struggles to get up, holding his windpipe and coughing.)
Lobo: Murphy needs to be following up, but he looks like he's having trouble recovering.
Sir Oliver: No doubt the lingering effects of the two beatings he received two weeks ago.
(Black turns and faces Murphy and is blasted with a hard chop to the chest. Murphy whips Black into the ropes and catches Bryan with a rolling clothesline. Black begins to get to his feet but Murphy forces him down with a choke.)
Lobo: Murphy is looking to cut off the flow of oxygen, and Edwards is stepping in to administer the five count.
Edwards: One...two...three...four…
(Murphy releases the hold to stop the count, but quickly rakes Black's eyes with the laces of his boot. Edwards pushes Murphy back and goes to check on Black. Murphy pushes Edwards aside and hits a falling tomahawk chop to Black's skull. Murphy goes for the pin.)
Edwards: ONE…
Lobo: Murphy might have him here!
Edwards: TWO…
(Black raises the shoulder and Murphy goes for the choke again. Murphy pushes up in a plank position, forcing all of his weight into Black's throat.)
Edwards: One...two... three...four…
(Murphy breaks the choke again, and Edwards warns Murphy that he will issue a strike on the next intentional choke. Murphy picks up Black and whips him into the turnbuckle and follows with an avalanche tackle. Murphy pounds Blacks head into the turnbuckle and Black stumbles out of the corner.)
Sir Oliver: Mark Murphy is being relentless in his offense, and Bryan Black is feeling the effects. The former world champion needs to mount some sort of offense of his own if he intends to win this contest.
Lobo: Murphy sends Black into the ropes and takes Black down with a sidewalk slam. He hooks the leg and goes for the cover.
Edwards: ONE…
Lobo: Bryan Black shows tremendous determination, kicking out at the count of one.
(Murphy slaps the mat in frustration and hauls Black to his feet. Murphy sets Black up for a back suplex, but Black slips out and hits a swinging neck breaker on Murphy.)
Sir Oliver: That was a most impressive reversal by Bryan Black.
Lobo: It sure was, but Black is down on the mat. He has to dig deep if he's going to capitalize.
V: The only thing he's digging is his own grave. I hate to say it, but Murphy's got this in the bag. No soup line for you, Mark.
(Black claws his way up with help from the ropes. Murphy takes a moment to shake off the effects of the match this far. Black capitalizes with a running knee drop. Black is still slow to get up, but he is faster than Murphy. Black grabs Murphy and whips him into the ropes, rebounding and getting Murphy with his finisher, the Wall.)
Sir Oliver: Most impressive. The impact of that maneuver was certainly devastating. Black hooks the leg.
Edwards: ONE….
Lobo: I think this is going to be it! No way Murphy is kicking out.
Edwards: TWO….
V: I think they still have some cots at the homeless shelter, Murphy.
Edwards: THREE…
Lobo: NO! Murphy kicked out at two and three quarters!
V: Hmmm...like who knew he had this much fight in him?
(Black looks shocked that Murphy kicked out of the pin. Black grabs Murphy and takes him over with a quick suplex. Black grabs Murphy by the ankle and positions him near the turnbuckles. Black leaps to the top rope and turns to face Murphy, a tiny bit unsteady at first, but he quickly gains his footing. Black launches himself off the turnbuckle for a shooting star press. Murphy suddenly raises his foot up straight and Blacks face makes contact. Black spins out of control and hits the mat hard, his eyes glassy and his limbs limp.)
Lobo: Murphy's boot just knocked Black silly! What an impact!
Sir Oliver: If I had to guess, I would say Bryan Black's mental foramen made an impact on the sole of Murphy's boot.
Lobo: That's the mark of a veteran...pulling out a move to turn the tide when it seems all hope is lost.
(Murphy crawls to the ropes and pulls himself up, suddenly noticing Black's condition. Murphy stumbles to his adversary, who is still prone on the mat. Murphy drags Black to his feet and hits the Flamethrower.)
Lobo: Murphy is going for the cover!
Edwards: ONE…
Sir Oliver: Perhaps Black has the internal reserves to kick out.
Edwards: TWO….
Lobo: Black still isn't moving!
Edwards: THREE!!!
V: Aw...does this mean we still have to see Murphy every week?
Anderson: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match via pinfall at 12:31 of the match, "The Maniac"...MARK MURPHY!!!!
Lobo: It seems like Mark Murphy always pulls out a win when it really counts.
V: Yeah, like, how did we get so unlucky?
Lobo: That win means that Murphy is still a member of CCZA, but for how long?
==================
TCE vs. Ron Masterson
==================
Lobo: On the last show, TCE had brought back a dead man. Not really. He continued his mind games and it turned out the guy in a wolverine mask was nothing more than Chad.
V: Who he was like, real quick to abandon.
Sir Oliver: I am not sure TCE ever intended to face off with anyone that night.
Lobo: Well there is nowhere to turn to right now. There is no Chad and Ron will have Cage with him.
V: I’m not sure having Chad there would really help.
Lobo: True. Ron says there is a lot of talk though, so I am looking forward to seeing some action.
Sir Oliver: I am sure he did not find being called “Backseat Ron” very appealing.
V: Backseats are fun.
Lobo: I don’t think TCE meant it in that way at all. While I do not like the tactics, does TCE have a point? Ron Masterson is an UP Wrestling OG. He’s held more than one title. Cage is his mentor and trainer, but he shows up saying it's his last hurrah and wants a chance to go out on top.
V: If you’re not gunning for the biggest prize in our company, then what are you like, doing?
Lobo: True, but don’t forget Ron Masterson still has that Christmas Chaos prize from Vendetta last year. He can insert himself into any match. Hell, he could add himself to Devin Bishop versus Nathaniel if he wanted.
V: That’d be career suicide going against my Devy.
Lobo: Well, I don’t want to be all talk either. Let’s hand it over to Elijah Anderson for introductions.
*Anderson: Coming down to the ring is a man who weighs in at two hundred and fifty-five pounds and stands at six foot six inches tall, he hails from Roanoke, Virginia... he is T!!! C!!! E!!!
(The lights in the arena dim down as the fans around the arena all react differently. Some boo and others cheer as "Thoughtless" by Korn begins to play. A red spotlight flashes up near the entrance. Moments later, out walks the legend. He goes down the aisle passing by the passionate UP Wrestling fans without giving them any attention. TCE steps up the steel stairs and climbs inside the ring. Once inside, he removes his trench coat, tie, and button up shirt. He hands over his clothing to the ring attendant and awaits his opponent in the corner.)
Lobo: TCE is a veteran, a legend. He’s in multiple Hall of Fames. This man didn’t come to UP Wrestling for fame or fortune. He has that. TCE came to UP Wrestling for one purpose… Cage.
(Ron stands in the gorilla position with Cage and Donnie amping him up. Before Ron is announced, Cage’s phone chirps. He looks down at the message and his eyes light up. Cage can’t take his eyes away from the phone. Ron pats him on the shoulder and Cage’s mouth can be read, “I got to go now”. The look on Cage’s face is all Ron needs to tell him to go. Donnie continues hyping Ron up as Cage turns and rushes off.)
*Anderson: Hailing from Phoenix, Arizona, standing at six feet one inch tall, and weighing in at two hundred and fifty-one pounds... he is the Thunder Kid... RON MASTERSON!!!
("Higher Place" by Journey plays as Ron walks through the curtain. Dressed in his ring gear and a dark brown leather vest, Ron slaps hands with the fans, all smiles, while Donnie D. Falco follows close behind, doing the same. Ron walks up the steps and onto the apron, where he wipes his feet and nods to the fans before stepping between the ropes. Falco makes his way to a corner while Ron removes his ring jacket and hands it to him.)
Lobo: What a test tonight for Ron Masterson. He has shown us some incredible feats. Win, lose, or draw… this will be a memorable moment in Ron’s career.
Sir Oliver: I agree. TCE may not be well liked, but he is respected.
Lobo: TCE is walking up to Ron… and he offers him his hand?
V: You hear Donnie squawking no… haha!
Lobo: Ron doesn’t look like he will oblige TCE’s offer.
Sir Oliver: It is good form. TCE is willing to shake this man’s hand before a fight. I am sure TCE doesn’t know why Cage had to rush out. Maybe he admires this chap for coming out to fight him alone. That’s no ill will towards Mr. Falco.
Lobo: TCE asserts his hand again. Ron looks him over and begins to extend his hand out, but TCE punches him RIGHT IN THE THROAT!
Sir Oliver: Forget everything I said about his form.
Lobo: Ron stumbles back gasping for air. Referee Edwards is admonishing TCE who pays him no mind. TCE with a headbutt before grabbing Ron, spinning him around, and HURLING him through the turnbuckles and shoulder first into the post.
V: Shit… don’t ever like, get me on his bad side.
Lobo: TCE climbs out of the ring. He grabs a steel chair!
Sir Oliver: He is heading right over to Mr. Masterson. This is not good.
Lobo: Donnie runs over to try and stop TCE, but receives a chair shot to the face for his efforts! Donnie drops down and out. TCE steps over him and continues towards Ron. He lifts the chair up again and smashes Ron’s head between it and the ringpost!
V: If Ron’s head was a zit, he would have just popped puss all over the first three rows.
Sir Oliver: Disgusting and uncalled for, young lady.
Lobo: Ron goes limp, but that doesn’t keep TCE from blasting him in the head again with that steel chair before tossing it down.
Sir Oliver: Where is CJ Walker and your mother’s security team?
V: Eh, who knows. Mom’s big about using resources in the right time and place. Unfortunately for Ron, he is in neither. Or maybe CJ just doesn’t like him.
Lobo: TCE is pulling a table out from under the ring. He is setting it up near the apron and once finished, TCE jumps back inside the ring. He pulls Ron out of the corner and out onto the apron. This can’t be good.
V: Oh this is popcorn good, Baptist.
Lobo: TCE WITH A PILEDRIVER OFF THE APRON AND THROUGH THE TABLE!!!
Sir Oliver: What madness is this?
Lobo: Oh my gosh… Ron’s head just speared through that table. Then it hit that cold, hard concrete floor. That was an unforgiving drop on his head. Ron is laid out and TCE even took some pain there. He’s slowly getting up, but that’s more than I can say for Ron right now.
V: Hey, can we like, get someone out here to sweep up this table and Ron?
Sir Oliver: The way you speak is not suitable for someone of your age.
V: And your face isn’t suitable for like, being outside.
Lobo: TCE grabs that chair back up and slams it down on Ron’s back. He does it again… and third time's a charm before TCE slams the chair back down again. TCE reaches back under the ring and pulls out a black duffel bag. He reaches inside… and what is that?
Sir Oliver: I do believe he has an iron glove wrapped in barbed wire.
Lobo: What the hell is he going to do with that?
V: Something cool, I bet!
Lobo: TCE rolls Ron over and mounts him. He looks at the glove and then down at Ron momentarily before starting to strike him with it!
V: He’s carving him up like it's Thanksgiving Day and Backseat Ron’s the turkey!
Lobo: Ron’s face is turning red from blood being gashed out of every strike that TCE hits. What? Out of nowhere, Donnie Falco uses that chair to strike TCE in the back!
Sir Oliver: Yes, I normally do not applaud brute force. That, I will make an exception.
Lobo: TCE leans down. Donnie drops the chair and pushes TCE off Ron. He’s trying to get Ron up and probably try to get out of here before any more damage can be done. Ron’s not able to respond. He can’t help Donnie get to his feet. TCE just STABBED Donnie in the leg with a piece of the table!
V: Oh yeah! Like, this is getting good.
Lobo: Donnie just falls over in pain. TCE jerks him back up and hits Donnie with TRIBULATIONS! He gets back up, grabs the chair, and smashes it into Falco’s face!
V: There’s your kill shot for the night. Dear Donnie just got skull crushed!
Sir Oliver: How can you say such a thing?
Lobo: TCE is not done with Masterson. He’s pulling up the top of the steel steps and just throws them down on Ron! They just bounce off after making a hard thud against Ron’s chest. TCE sets the steps up next to Ron and slowly pulls him up. TCE hooks him on top of the steps and then hits TRAILS!
Sir Oliver: This crowd just went silent. He sent a hush through all these people with that move on top of the steel stairs!
Lobo: Ron isn’t moving. He’s out and slumped over the steps. What? TCE is still not done! He grabs the steel chair as he stands back up and smashes it on Ron’s back again. Oh no… oh no oh no. TCE is wrapping the chair around Ron’s neck.
Sir Oliver: This is not good.
V: Oh yes, it is.
Lobo: Don’t do it TCE. No, you don’t have to go this far! TCE JUST LEAPT OFF THE APRON STOMPING DOWN ON THE CHAIR AROUND RON’S HEAD AND NECK!!!
V: These people were shocked when TCE, like, hit Trails. You could hear a pin drop in between the few gasps the fans are managing to get out.
Lobo: Call the damn EMTs and someone get TCE out of here. Vee, I don’t care for any type of response. Call your mom and have this stopped!
V: Now, wait…
Lobo: Just do something, this has gone TOO far!
Sir Oliver: While much too late, I do believe TCE is satisfied and has started to head out.
Lobo: Grace is heading out to try and get a word from this sick, twisted man.
Grace: TCE… TCE… why do this?
(TCE grabs the mic from Grace. She backs off after seeing what TCE just did to Donnie and especially Ron. He brings the mic up to his mouth, but stops before he says anything and just drops the mic. The feedback throughout the arena speakers is TCE’s last thing before he departs backstage.)
Lobo: Thank goodness the Las Vegas EMTs are heading out to check on Donnie and Ron. Listen, cut the feed. I need a minute. Cut it!
===============================================================
CJ Walker vs. Riley The Jackal vs. The Crimson Mask vs. David Berg vs. Saint Sakura vs. Maddox
===============================================================
Lobo: What a match this promises to be! We’ve a gauntlet match and what a match it is with the brute that is, Riley The Jackal taking on The Crimson Mask. And honestly, the less said about that monster, the better.
Sir Oliver: Indeed, both are significantly robust gentlemen of considerable stature. One ought not to anticipate a plethora of subtlety in this one, Old Boy.
V: So, like we can start then.
(BELL RINGS)
(The Crimson Mask glares, ice cold, at The Jackal, but the Jackal meets that gaze fully. Suddenly both explode into action with brutal, clubbing blows being thrown with little or no regard to defence. The Crimson Mask propels Riley back into the ropes and follows with a ru8nning clothesline that knocks him to the deck. The Crimson Mask then bounces, up, back and out from the ropes to drop with a thunderous clubbing elbow to the head!)
Sir Oliver: My word! I think that blow registered on the Richter Scale!
Lobo: Yeah, the fans totally felt that all the way to the back.
(The Crimson Mask hits Riley again before leaning back to cover.)
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THR’-
Lobo: Kick out!
V: So, like, it was a solid hit, but that Jackal’s a solid unit, so that pin was WAY too fucking optimistic.
(The Crimson Mask stands and pulls Riley up with a devastating Ripcord Clothesline. Down goes Riley. Again. The Crimson Mask then drops, but The Jackal gets his knees up and the Crimson Mask falls straight into them. That gives Riley the breather he needs. He stands and blasts TCM in the ribs. The big Croatian rolls with the blow, but utters not a sound. The Jackal advances and pulls TCM up by the head to Headbutt him. In return, TCM rams an elbow into Riley’s ribs and then almost takes him off his feet with a savage European Uppercut. Riley staggers back, somehow staying upright TCM steps forward and Pump Kicks Riley back into the ropes. Riley bounces back out and wallops TCM with a back hand chop. TCM wears it and simply grabs the Jackal. He then flexes his knees to explode up and Suplex Riley up and OVER the ropes!)
Sir Oliver: By Jove! The man practically went into orbit then!
Lobo: And that was Not a good “splash down”. I think Riley is hurt.
Sir Oliver: He seems to be, but is most certainly NOT staying down.
Lobo: Yeah, he’s already getting back up. And I can tell you that The Crimson Mask is not happy with that at all.
Edwards: ONE! - TWO! -
Lobo: And here comes Riley – straight back into the ring to- NO! The Crimson Mask BOOTS him in the face! Riley falls back to the barrier. He’s cut. There’s blood!
V: Like, awesome!
(Before Edwards can count further TCM slides between the ropes and then leaps to Splash into Riley, crushing his spine against the barrier. Riley drops, clearly hurt, but refuses to stay down. As he starts to pull himself back up, TCM grabs him by the throat.
Lobo: Iron Claw Chokeslam!
Sir Oliver: Truly a barbaric move, Old Chap.
(TCM then sends in the boot. Kick after kick rains down, but STILL the Jackal refuses to quit. He pulls himself back up using the barrier. TCM turns his back on his bloodied and battered opponent, but only to heave up the steel steps. These he hurls at Riley! They knock him down and lacerate his forearm, but again, he refuses to stay down.)
V: Hey, this is really starting to get good now. Hey Mask-Thing, uses the steel chair!
Lobo: I think he heard you.
Sir Oliver: I find it inconceivable how he could not.
(As TCM bends to pick up a chair. The Jackal barrels forward to spear him to the concrete. He flails away at the Crimson Mask, who takes that beating before suddenly blasting Riley with a bellringer. Riley falls back clutching his head. TCM stands and swings the chair – edgeways – to blast Riley on the side of the head. Blood sprays wildly!
Sir Oliver: By George, the blighter almost decapitated him then!
Lobo: Riley is bleeding and bleeding plenty, but The Crimson Mask isn’t done. He – oh no – he’s got that dented, old bucket of blood. He POURS it over Riley, who is barely conscious now and -
Sir Oliver: That’s enough for our esteemed official. Mr Edwards has DISQUALIFIED The Crimson Mask for the use of weapons.
V: Like, that old fossil has no sense of fun.
Lobo: But The Crimson Mask isn’t stopping! He is flailing away with that bucket, repeatedly braining a now UNMOVING Jackal!
Sire Oliver: Finally! Finally he stops and stalks off to the back, but what of Mr Jackal? Surely, he’s in no fit state to continue. He’s – oh, my word – he’s actually pulling himself back up! But just look at those wounds!
Lobo: Back up and into the ring! That is one stubborn and tenacious man.
V: That trail of blood is like, totally SICK! I wonder how much more he has left in his body. Can’t be much now, right?
Lobo: Edwards is not comfortable with this continuing. He gestures that Riley is unfit, but The Jackal’s hand snaps up – even though he can’t get up off his knees! He grabs Edwards wrist and tells him “no!” He wants to continue.
Sir Oliver: Lunacy! Sheer lunacy, I tell you.
V: Hey, do you think we might actually get to see out first ever fatality? Like, that would be so cool!
(Out comes Saint Sakura to a massive ovation. She slaps hands with the fans as she quickly makes her way to the ring. Once there though, she stops and sees The Jackal, still kneeling with blood pooling around his knees. One side of his body is covered in red! She stands a moment and then nods, claps her hands together and then steps forward. She places a single finger on Riley's head and gently pushes. He topples sideways and then onto his back. Saint Sakura gently places a foot on his chest. Edwards makes the count.)
Sir Oliver: Thank heavens! At least now Mr Jackal can receive that much needed medical attention.
(A brief delay ensues as they cart The Jackal away on a stretcher and the ring is cleaned. Saint Sakura leads the fans in appreciation of Riley’s incredible valour. She stands at each corner and claps high above her head. The fans emulate her. So it is that Riley is conveyed to the back with a standing ovation.)
V: Ugh, well that wasn’t sickening at all. Can we get back to the bloodshed now?
Lobo: Next up it’s Maddox.
Sir Oliver: Quite so and what an intriguing match this will make.
V: D’uh! Lots of jumping and skipping around and very little actual fucking fighting, I bet!
(Maddox steps in and calmly offers his hand. Saint Sakura bows without taking her eyes off him and then with a grin, shakes his hand. The bell rings and Saint Sakura whips a leg around to strike with a back heel kick, but Maddox ducks and spins low to sweep her feet – except, she hops over that attempt. Maddox stands and circles warily assessing his opponent before stepping in to close. There follows a rapid exchange of smashes, chops and punches in which both block as many as they manage to land.)
Sir Oliver: Such an intriguing contest. Both are undeniably blessed with outstanding speed and reactions.
Lobo: Yeah, the fans daren’t even BLINK, the action is so fast!
V: #Yawn.
(Maddox manages to land an Enzuigiri to the face. It rocks Sakura back into the ropes. As she comes back out, he connects with a Back Heel Kick. Again she’s sent back into the ropes. This time though Maddox races the opposite way. He slingshots out and crashes into her with a Firebird Splash.)
Sir Oliver: Top hole! What a simply splendid sequence of attacks.
Lobo: Now he has her pinned!
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - TH’-
Lobo: Shoulder up!
(Maddox breaks cleanly. Sakura kips up to her feet, but backs away to assess and recover. As she does Maddox again darts to the ropes. Up from the middle rope he flies.)
Lobo: Moonsault!
Sir Oliver: Crikey!
V: Yeah, that would have like, been totally better if it had hit.
Lobo: Sakura sidestepped and Maddox crashed and burned!
(Saint Sakura drops an Axe Kick onto the back of his head and then hops up onto the ropes. She jumps and delivers a Corkscrew Senton Bomb. She then rolls Maddox over and grabbing a leg, leans back for the cover.
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THR’-
Lobo: Kick out!
Sir Oliver: Mr Maddox is a most redoubtable fellow. It’ll take more than that to stop him.
V: What about a bucket to the head? Like, preferably one filled with cement.
(Saint Sakura breaks cleanly. Maddox doesn’t rush to his feet. He kneels and uses the full count before standing. Sakura instantly closes and both exchange rapid body shots. Sakura backs away. Maddox smiles.)
Lobo: Now they close. They lock up. Each shifting their weight and position to get the – NO! Maddox twists and upends her! Cradle DDT!
Sir Oliver: How on earth did he do that, Old Boy?
Lobo: He has her pinned.
Sir Oliver: Impressive backslide.
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THRE’-
Lobo: She’s out! Sakura kicks free.
Sir Oliver JUST in time.
(Both roll to their feet and again lock up. Maddox heaves Sakura up and over, but she twists mid air and takes Maddox over with a rapid Hip Toss. Sakura then snaps a kick to the head before dropping and wrapping him up.)
Sir Oliver: By Jove! She’s deftly secured him within the grasp of that Octopus Stretch.
Lobo: Yeah and it’s locked in tight.
V: #Yawn2TheSequel.
(Maddox squirms, shifts and does his best to get to the ropes. He can’t get there. He tries to extricate himself, but Saint Sakura modifies her hold and thwarts his attempts. As she cranks up the pressure, he’s left with no choice but to tap!)
Sir Oliver: Blimey!
Lobo: I couldn’t have put it better, Sir Oliver. That was a VERY close fought battle, but Saint Sakura takes the W on her debut here in UPW. Congratulations to her. But Maddox pushed her hard – seriously hard. I wonder how much she’ll have left in the tank to take on David Berg.
V: Like, totally not enough. He’s some street-fighting, army, special forces, ninja or some shit like that. Hopefully he’ll break her into little pieces. Hey, like maybe if I tell him she’s Palestinian, he’ll go all mental on her ass.
Sir Oliver: Alas – for you – she looks not even remotely Arabic.
V: She could be a sympathiser. I bet he’d believe that.
(David Berg comes out to much applause and cheering. He rubs his hands together and simply nods at Saint Sakura. The bell rings and they immediately close. Sakura lashes out with lightning fast kicks. These Berg ducks, blocks or simply sidesteps. Nonetheless Sakura is relentless and catches his knee. The leg buckles and he falls to the mat, catching himself on the ropes. She fires a Thrust kick to the back of his head and then jumps onto his back locking an arm around his neck to restrict his breathing. Berg stands and stumbles back to drive her back into the turnbuckle. She clings on. He repeats it again, yet still she hangs on.)
Lobo: Berg is struggling here. Can she claim another big scalp?
(Berg manages another big crunching block into the corner. This time it’s sufficient to break the hold and Berg immediately grabs a wrist to pull her over with an Arm Drag. He clings on to the arm and attempts to hyper-extend it, but Sakura rolls up to bring both feet up and blast him in the face.)
Lobo: Damn, but the fans are really being spoiled by this one. It’s been drama from the get-go and now we have another very close and fascinating contest.
V: But with like, totally less blood.
(Both separate and smoothly roll back to their feet. Sakura charges, but Berg catches and upends her. He deposits her with an Implant DDT, but she curls up taking the impact on her upper back. She then kicks out, punting Berg back to the ropes. He hits them and flies back out and clobbers her with a Flying Spinning Side Kick!)
Sir Oliver: By George, that was something of a monster, was it not, Old Chap?
Lobo: It sure was and I think Sakura is in trouble here.
(Berg pulls her up into a Gutbuster and then hits a Gutwrench Suplex. He then drops and covers.)
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THR’-
Lobo: She kicks out!
(Berg breaks cleanly and steps back awaiting Sakura to stand. This she does quickly. She immediately darts in with a leaping Superman Punch! It catches Berg and knocks him back into the ropes. As he comes back out she hits a Rolling Thunder and drags him straight into a pin attempt.)
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - TH’-
Lobo: Kick out!
Sir Oliver: Yes, she certainly surprised him then.
(Sakura breaks cleanly and backs up smiling. Berg stands, unsmiling. He nods at her and calls for a test of strength. Sakura slowly advances. As she locks hands he immediately pulls her into a T Bone Suplex. With Sakura buried into the mat, he stomps on her core and then with both feet delivers the Hebrew Hammer.)
Lobo: Ouch a truly vicious Curb Stomp!
Sir Oliver: Quite so, Old Boy. That’s his finisher and “finishing” is what he is highly adept at. Excuse me for finishing with a preposition. Quite unforgivable, really. I shall endeavour to do better.
V: So should she, because Berg has dropped and is going for the win here. Say, do you think that like, maybe she has internal bleeding after that?
Edwards: ONE!
Sir Oliver: Unlikely
Edwards: TWO!!
Lobo: She looks to have a core that’s as impressive as Pixi’s.
Edwards: THREE!!
V: Or not.
Sir Oliver: Mr Berg advances after a hard and closely contested battle.
V: And like his grand prize is to fight – THAT!
(CJ Walker comes down to a very mixed reception. As soon as the bell rings the two men close. Berg immediately goes to work targeting CJ’s core, but Walker has fought him before and repeatedly blocks those attempts.)
Lobo: I can see CJ’s tactics here. He’s targeting Berg’s knee and quads. He’s not going to be able to impact Walker’s gut if his weapons are weakened.
V: Or like removed. He could just rip the leg off and beat him with the soggy end! Like, how amazing would that be?
(Berg shifts tactics and weeps to take the massive figure of Walker to the mat. He immediately sets about stomping on the man’s stomach. CJ grabs the ropes and pulls himself under them. He drops down and then stretches before unhurriedly walking around the ring. Berg calmly follows, looking to attack as soon as CJ makes his attempt to get back in. The referee counts.)
Sir Oliver: Whilst this undoubtedly accords Mr Walker substantial recovery time, I must confess that I am somewhat concerned about how he’ll re-enter the ring without suffering even greater injury.
V: Yeah, it’ll be like totally awesome.
(The count gets dangerously close to completion when CJ snatches up a wad of papers from the announce desk - a wad of papers and a pencil. He throws the papers up in the air – towards the ring. They flutter around masking his movement and distracting the referee. CJ dives into the ring, but Berg is ready. He jumps forward and stamps on CJ's massive chest. CJ catches the leg and rams the pencil into the side of the knee! Berg shouts in pain and hops back. CJ casts the pencil aside as the last of the paper flutters to the canvas.)
V: Oh, like, that was totally fucking inspired! And see! Look there! Blood!
Sir Oliver: A scurrilous tactic. He should hang his head in shame.
V: Why? It totally worked.
(Berg hops backwards and seeks to massage the knee. CJ powers up from the mat and Spears him into a corner. There he repeatedly sends hammer blows into the injured knee. He then rocks Berg back with a European Uppercut before crushing him into the corner with a brutal Heart Punch.)
Lobo: Walker uses the Heart Punch to finish his opponents off. Berg is definitely going to know about that!
(Walker pulls Berg up and out of the corner with a Snap Suplex. He then stands and scoops Berg up to deliver a Falling Powerbomb.)
Sir Oliver: Quite the merciless brute, is he not?
V: Yeah. And your point is?
(CJ scoots around and covers.)
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THRE’-
Lobo: Shoulder up!
(CJ does not break cleanly, but batters Berg with a back elbow and then pulls him up into a Ripcord Clothesline. He then steps away and starts to climb the ropes at the corner.)
Lobo: Oh now, this can’t be good.
Sir Oliver: I find it a perplexing tactic. Why not continue to press his advantage?
(Berg rolls somewhat stiffly to one knee. The other leg is loath to bend. He pushes up just as CJ Walker launches from the top rope!)
Lobo: Top Rope Moonsault!
V: And he like totally NAILED it. #Crushed #IcedBerg.
Edwards: ONE! - TWO!! - THREE!!!
Lobo: And there it is! CJ Walker wins the Gauntlet Match!
Sir Oliver: In most unsavoury fashion.
V: No way! I like, totally savoured all of that bloodshed.
Lobo: It was an epic and very memorable battle an the perfect set up for tonight’s main event.
V: Yay – time for some REAL class as we get to see Devy and the Black Hand show everyone else just how damn good you have to be to get even CLOSE to them!
========================================================
The Black Hand vs. Nathaniel, Dillian DeHaven, & Disorganized Chaos
========================================================
Lobo: It’s time for our main event. An 8 person tag match that pits Nathaniel, Dillian DeHaven, and Disorganized Chaos against The Black Hand.
Sir Oliver: Edwards is going to have his hands full in this one.
V: I think I’m going to be seeing loads of violence. Like, let’s get started!
(Cut to the ring)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is an 8 person tag. It is set for one fall and has a 1 hour time limit. Introducing first…coming down the aisle with his manager, Cliff Ragsdale, weighing in at 245 pounds, I give you "THE DUKE" DILLIAN DEHAVEN!
("Fire Water Burn" By The Bloodhound Gang plays as DeHaven makes his way to the ring, being led by his manager, Cliff Ragsdale. DeHaven walks slowly to the ring with a stoic look on his face. Ragsdale and DeHaven are all business. Ragsdale is wearing a blue cape/shirt with black jeans. DeHaven is wearing a gray t-shirt with black tights.)
*Anderson: Next…
(Cliff Ragsdale is standing in the ring and rudely snatches the mic from Elijah Anderson.)
*Ragsdale: Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and give a warm welcome to the most dangerous man in UPW! He resides in Reno, Nevada....he is 6 foot 4, weighs in at 245 pounds, he is being accompanied to the ring by his beautiful girlfriend, Brittany! He is the man known as NATHANIEL!
("Come As You Are" by Nirvana plays as Nathaniel and his girlfriend Brittany emerge from the back. They stop and Nathaniel glares at the crowd as a spotlight shines on him. Nathaniel receives a hostile reception from the crowd as he and Brittany make their way to the ring. Nathaniel is stone-faced and Brittany has a big grin on her face. Brittany holds the ropes open as Nathaniel enters the ring. Brittany claps as Nathaniel fist bumps Ragsdale before mean mugging the crowd. Nathaniel then removes his grunge-style flannel shirt and hands it to Brittany as the crowd continues to boo.
Ragsdale gives the mic back to Anderson)
*Anderson: Next…coming to the ring.. from Detroit, Michigan... she stands at five foot five inches tall and weighs in at one hundred and eighteen pounds... she is the Chaotic Princess.. ARIANA SEARS!!! Her tag team partner, from Dark Falls, Indiana... he stands at six foot three inches tall and weighs in tonight at two hundred and five pounds... JESTER LEBEAU!!! Together they are Disorganized Chaos!!!
(As Sound of Madness by Shinedown begins, Ariana comes out wearing what seems to be red shorts and a red top that shows her midriff and cleavage equally. Her boots are black with purple laces and a black hoodie draped over her shoulders that reads Chaotic Princess on the back. Her hair is done up into pig tails as a purple rose sits in her hair.)
Lobo: It seems that Jester hasn’t recovered from the severe beatdown he has suffered the past couple of shows.
V: Like, I’m surprised he’s still breathing!
*Anderson: And their opponents, Devin Bishop, Rain Blackhart, Adam Miller, and King Diaz. Together they are THE BLACK HAND!
(As "Nucleus" by Robert Slump begins to play over the P.A. system, the arena goes dark. Red and purple light beams begin to flash up and down the walkway as smoke covers the area in front of the curtains. The Black Hand come out as a team and the spotlight shines on them. They point to the ring and laugh as they arrive.)
Lobo: It seems The Black Hand is amused that this is going to be a 4 on 3 match.
Sir Oliver: No wonder. They enjoy having an advantage, and this could be a big one.
V: Like, this should have been billed as a 7 person tag match.
(Referee Edwards calls for the bell and the match is underway. Adam Miller starts things off for The Black Hand while Nathaniel starts off for his team. Both men lock up. Miller takes Nathaniel over in a side headlock. Nathaniel sends Miller into the ropes and Miller comes off with a body check that staggers Nathaniel. Miller hits the ropes once again and Nathaniel surprises him with a hip toss, then cinches up a rear chin lock.
Nathaniel with a chop to Miller’s throat and Miller tumbles to the mat. Nathaniel with the quick cover.)
Edwards: 1… (Diaz in the ring and breaks up the pin attempt.)
Lobo: It looks like Nathaniel, DeHaven and Sears have an uphill battle ahead of them.
V: Like, 3 taking on 4? D’uh!
Sir Oliver: I believe that my esteemed colleague means that The Black Hand is going to make sure that any pin attempt is interfered with.
V: Like, that’s what teams do. And, since there are only 3 of them, a member of The Black Hand is going to be free.
(Nathaniel is on his feet and tags in DeHaven. DeHaven charges in and hauls Miller to his feet. DeHaven has Miller up and sends him crashing to the mat with a standing suplex. DeHaven is up first and drags Miller to his feet. Miller sends DeHaven to the mat with a short clothesline and dashes over to make the tag to King Diaz.
Diaz is in the ring as DeHaven gets back to his feet. Diaz grabs DeHaven and sets him up for a DDT. DeHaven blocks it and sends Diaz down with a back body drop. DeHaven drops an elbow on Diaz and goes for the cover.)
Edwards: 1…kickout.
(DeHaven is up first. Diaz rolls out of DeHaven’s grasp and springs to his feet. Diaz stays low to the mat and sends DeHaven to the mat with a leg sweep. Diaz charges up and drops on DeHaven for the cover.)
Edwards: 1…shoulder up.
(Both men are back on their feet. DeHaven and Diaz lock up and Diaz goes behind DeHaven with a Grecian waist lock. Diaz takes DeHaven over with a gut wrench suplex, then springs to his feet. Diaz starts putting the big boots to DeHaven who rolls out of the ring to get away from the assault.
Diaz with a stage dive. DeHaven catches him and carries him over to the guardrail. DeHaven drops Diaz throat first onto the guardrail, then carries him back to the ring. DeHaven rolls Diaz back into the ring and climbs back in. Diaz starts crawling to the Black Hand corner. DeHaven grabs him by the ankle, pulling him back.
Blackhart grabs Diaz by the arm and tries to get him back to the corner. Since it was through the bottom and middle rope, it doesn’t count as a tag. Diaz lashes out with his foot and kicks DeHaven in the face, forcing DeHaven to release the foot. Diaz scrambles to his corner and tags in Blackhart.
Blackhart enters the ring and is met immediately by a kick to the midsection. DeHaven grabs Blackhart in a double underhook and takes him over, sending him crashing to the mat. Blackhart springs back to his feet and lands a hard right on DeHaven as he moves in on him.
Blackhart grabs DeHaven and whips him hard into the Black Hand corner. Diaz and Miller start pummeling DeHaven. Blackhart charges in and launches himself at DeHaven. DeHaven manages to rolls out of the way, Blackhart smashes into Miller and Diaz. DeHaven rapidly gets to his own corner and tags Sears into the match.
Sears comes in and Blackhart immediately grabs her in a bear hug. Sears with an ear ringer that forces the break. Sears snaps off a kick to Blackhart’s midsection that doubles him over. Sears with a double axe handle that sends Blackhart crashing to the mat.
On the outside of the ring, DeHaven is over on the Black Hand side. He pulls Miller to the floor and starts mixing it up with him. Diaz drops to the floor and starts bashing DeHaven. Nathaniel races over and tackles Diaz.)
Lobo: Things are totally out of hand here!
Sir Oliver: It looks like the two in the ring are going to join in on the fun on the outside. Sears and Blackhart leap out of the ring and join in the melee.
V: This is more entertaining than the regular match! Come on…blood!
Lobo: Referee Anderson is calling for order and starts to count both teams out. Both teams disengage, The Black Hand gets back up on the apron while Nathaniel, and DeHaven head back to their corner. Sears and Blackhart are back in the ring and referee Anderson calls for them to wrestle.
(Sears makes the tag to Nathaniel in. Blackhart tags Bishop in. Nathaniel and Bishop immediately charge each other and lock up. Bishop takes Nathaniel in a standing wrist lock.
Suddenly, from the back comes Jester LeBeau in a hospital gown, racing toward the ring.)
Lobo: Jester LeBeau! What is he doing? He should be in the hospital!
(Blackhart charges out to try to stop him and LeBeau nails him with a hard forearm. LeBeau sends Blackhart to the floor and starts to stomp on him. Miller charges out to save his partner and LeBeau instantly shifts his focus to Miller.
LeBeau picks up a chair and smashes it hard across Miller’s face. Miller goes down and LeBeau starts to smash the chair into Miller’s midsection. Diaz comes charging down and attempts to grab the chair from LeBeau. LeBeau kicks him in the groin with a nasty kick.)
V: It’s up…it’s good!
(In the ring Nathaniel has Bishop set up for The Last Stand. He’s got Bishop up…Bishop slides out of it and cinches Nathaniel up in an STF!)
Lobo: Nathaniel is in serious trouble!
Sir Oliver: It does appear that Ragsdale is there to offer some assistance.
V: Like any great manager! I know that Ariana is looking for a manager and she can do a lot worse than Ragsdale!
Lobo: Referee Edwards doesn’t see what Ragsdale is doing as he’s distracted by the brouhaha outside. Ragsdale is trying to slip in a pair of brass knuckles to Nathaniel, but Nathaniel can’t quite reach them.
Sir Oliver: Sears leaps into the ring and scoops up the brass knucks. She’s looking at them quizzically.
V: Come on, Ariana! Do the right thing!
Lobo: Sears slips the brass knucks on and…she slams them hard into Bishop’s head, causing him to release the hold. Nathaniel picks Bishop up in The Last Stand and nails it. Sears calls Edwards to check the pin.
Edwards: 1…2…3!
(BELL RINGS)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, in the time of 12:11, your winners, the team of Nathaniel, Dillian DeHaven and Ariana Sears!
Sir Oliver: I can not believe what I just saw!
V: You’re right. No one pins my Devy, but me.
Lobo: Jester threw a wrench into everything showing up unexpectedly, but what’s worse for The Black Hand is Cliff’s plan didn’t backfire. Ariana Sears used the brass knucks to knock out our reigning World Openweight Champion.
Sir Oliver: I believe Mr. Ragsdale will see it regardless as a pin fall over Mr. Bishop by Nathaniel.
Lobo: That you are correct on. Through all this chaos, look who has a mic now.
(Jester LeBeau stands on the outskirts of the ring in his hospital gown with a brace on one knee and one shoulder tightly wrapped and dragging an IV pole behind him. Several kids at ringside cheer and chant for him, each and everyone wearing a ‘I’m a Fuckstick’ t shirt.)
Jester: “Hey assholes! You forgot to finish the job ‘cause I’M STILL HERE!! And I am sick and fucking tired of everyone sending me to a hospital! They are so stingy with the good drugs and the blowjobs. Well, inbreds and fuckwits… now it’s my turn!
“You see, in a few days UPW heads to Japan where Korakuen Hall will host Hostile Fury! And on that card Arianna and I will be defending OUR UPW Tag Team Titles against Drunken Adam Miller and Burger King Diaz. They already know they can not beat us, but with the bullshit that they have pulled I said to myself – ‘Self, what can we do to punish these idiots for their actions and their beliefs?’ and my self answered ‘Teach them something about the Japanese wrestling culture.’ And I have to admit that is a fantastic idea. So I made a couple of calls, got higher than goose pussy flying south and came up with this little spark of genius.
“You see, in Japan, wrestling is treated very differently than here. They hit harder, jump higher, are respected once it is earned, but there was also a culture that while conceived at a concession stand in Tupelo, Mississippi, was born and nurtured in Japan. Over there when things get extreme, they REALLY get extreme… sorry Philly, but you weren’t the first nor the epicenter of that movement. So, Rated M&M let me introduce to you a little concept that will put asses in seats and eyes on the screen…
“Let’s start with the ropes, regular ropes just don’t do enough damage, so they replaced the ropes with barbed wire. Throw your opponent into this and there will be blood and tearing of flesh. That in itself makes me smile, how about you boys? Next let’s add a few boxes of fluorescent light tubes around the ring to use. The shatter with a great pop, and the glass is so thin that the shards can easily bury itself into your skin and good luck trying to pull any of it out before the infection sets in. While we’re at it , cover the ground with shattered glass!
“And for the coup de grace, how about some C-4 plastic explosive. Just put a little of this on each turnbuckle pad with a pressure switch and throw someone into the corner… POW! Or put some under the pads outside the ring, toss over the rope and BANG! They come flying back over! Or, and this one is pretty intense and difficult to get just right, put it under the ring on a timer and you’re guaranteed that the match will not go over 20 or 30 minutes.
“Add any one of these and the match is pretty extreme, add two or even three and it’s a bit more hazardous than usual but put it all together into one match and I’m getting a chub just thinking about it, put it into one match and the crowd will go wild as we pin the remaining pieces of Rated M to retain OUR titles. So in respect to the tradition and roots of wrestling in Japan, I say our title defense at Hostile Fury will be as hostile and furious as possible. Throw in all this and more so we can create Jester’s Playhouse!
“What? You say this is too dangerous? It could be almost fatal? Who gives a fuck! I don’t care about your life Miller, I don’t care about your life Diaz and I sure as hell don’t care about my life! I don’t know the difference between a bad idea and a war crime. But I know that I have a list of mother fuckers that I want to see beaten, bloodied, scattered, smothered and covered and you two are next in line! What do you say? Do you want to see a boring typical match up where Rated M can lose yet have a rematch later being disrespectful to Japanese culture? (the crowd boos)
“OR do we enter my funhouse, where Diaz and Miller will be lucky if they leave the ring with all their fingers, toes, ears, arms, legs and balls – if they have any- intact? (the crowd erupts)
“By the way kids, you don’t really have a choice. This is going to happen so make sure your medical insurance – or life insurance - is good in Japan because you’re going to be using it.”
(Jester drops the mic and heads down the aisle with Ariana.)
Lobo: What a challenge by Jester LeBeau. He is a sick, sick man… but that’s even further than I thought he could ever go with a challenge.
Sir Oliver: I am not certain that is suitable entertainment for anyone.
V: #THATSHITISLIT
Lobo: We are…
(Carach Angren’s “Skull with a Forked Tongue” begins to play as out heads The Crimson Mask. He stops after emerging from the entrance and you can see his glare settle on Rain Blackhart. The two lock eyes as the show comes to a close.)
HOSTILE FURY
JAPAN
OCTOBER 31
MAIN EVENT
WORLD OPEN WEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
"The Apex" Devin Bishop vs. Nathaniel
JESTER’S PLAYHOUSE
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Disorganized Chaos vs. Rated M
BOYD GAMING HIGH ROLLER CHAMPIONSHIP SCRAMBLE MATCH
"The Original" Bryan Black vs. Joe Nobody vs. Saint Sakura vs. Maddox vs.
"The Maniac" Mark Murphy vs. Jett OR Jumbo Robinson
FATAL FOURWAY
"The Vengeful One" CJ Walker vs. The Crimson Mask vs.
"The King of the Streets" David Berg vs. Vicious
15 YEARS IN THE MAKING - FINAL GRUDGE MATCH
Cage vs. TCE
DUMPSTER MATCH
Candy vs. Vile
BAR ROOM BRAWL
Team Sp!ke vs. THC
END OF DAYS
FRANCE
OCTOBER 31
SIN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
*The D20 Chose a Flag Match
"The Duke" Dillian DeHaven vs. "The Professional" Rain Blackhart