NLW Ascendancy XXIV | Saturday, October 30th, 2021 | LIVE
Oct 17, 2021 18:46:00 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Hyperion, and 2 more like this
Post by Kris on Oct 17, 2021 18:46:00 GMT -5
Next Level Wrestling Presents
ASCENDENCY XXIV
LIVE from the Lakefront Arena in New Orleans, Louisiana
Saturday, October 30th, 2021
As the visual fades in the interior of the Lakefront Arena, "Obey" is in full flow and the crowd are on their feet in anticipation of another NLW show. The camera pans around various members of the audience before heading over to the two familiar faces of Dan Simmons and Tommy West.
Dan Simmons: Folks, welcome once again to NLW Ascendancy, I'm Dan Simmons, I'm here as always with my broadcast partner, Tommy West and Tommy, we've got some great action on offer tonight!
Tommy West: Too right Simmo, too right! With Lazarus Arjen being injured we're crowning a new Southern States Champion tonight. Felix, Kehai Sparks, Thepsian and Al Jabroni all face off, but only one of them walks away champion!
Dan Simmons: Only one does, indeed! Folks, two weeks' ago, The Goons cost The Academy their shot in the tag team tournament. Leon Chant wanted payback, well tonight he gets a chance as he takes David Goon on, one on one! It's safe to say its really hotting up between those two teams!
Tommy West: Speaking of tag teams, who will The New South be facing at Homecoming for the Tag Team Titles? Well we find that out tonight, Sanders and Son face The End in the second semi final of the tag tournament!
Dan Simmons: How close will that one be as well? We've got such great teams here in NLW that you really can't predict what's going to happen. Equally unpredictable, Tommy Kelly and Nathan Cage will be interviewed by our very own Kelly Ross to discuss the bad blood between them...I hope Kelly's got a security detail assigned because that could get messy.
Tommy West: Before any of that, we have have XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion, Bloodied Fox making his NLW debut against Sexton Love, and coming up first, two more debuts! Devin Mitchell takes on CJ Walker!
MATCH ONE
CJ Walker vs Devin Mitchell
Neither competitor was getting a very welcoming reaction from the fans as they made their respective trips down to the ring. The first thing that stuck out as the two started exchanging words in the center of the ring was the sheer size difference between the two men. The giant CJ Walker, at six feet, nine-and-a-half inches, sends Mitchell to the mat at ease upon the sound of the ring bell to signal the start of the match. When Devin Mitchell was back to his feet, the West Memphis 3 (Straight Elbow Strike, Spinning Back Fist, Charging Double Sledge Strike Combination) brings Mitchell back down and leads to a quick pin attempt, but Mitchell kicks out before even the two.
Walker drives his elbow… into the ground after Mitchell rolls out the way. Walker gets back up before letting out an angry growl and charges before Mitchell redirects Walker’s momentum into the corner. Mitchell follows up with a bicycle kick before Walker can react. Walker charges again, but walks right into a Camden Destroyer (Front Flip DDT). Cover by Mitchell and… only a count of two.
Looking extremely displeased, Walker grabs wildly at Mitchell’s legs, but to no avail. George Specht tries to see if he can reign in CJ from the outside, but by the time he gets any words out, Mitchell has already hit the aptly named Monolith Silencer (Ripcord Hook Kick). Another two count ensues. CJ Walker starts to slam the mat in frustration before feeling a pair of feet landing on his back. His luck appears to be changing though as he finally gets his hands on one of Devin Mitchell’s legs. He trips up Devin and mounts him for a handful of punches until he is warned by the referee under the threat of disqualification. Thinking, he had Mitchell down, CJ Walker climbs the top rope and gives everyone in the audience something to gasp for as he attempts the Drop the WMD (Top rope moonsault) but Devin Mitchell moves out of the way just in time. Hoping the missed top rope move was enough, Mitchell covers CJ Walker for yet another two count and the kick out from Walker had a bit more anger behind it than normal.
CJ Walker gets back up and is sick of being in this position for much of the match. Desperate to end the bout, Walker puts every bit of himself and uses the full force of his power into a Hand of God (Throat Cut Rip Cord Heart Punch)… but Devin wiggles free from the rip chord and off the ropes. By the time CJ Walker turned around, it was already too late. He was down from Devin Mitchell’s Shadowed Throne (Charging Knee Strike). Mitchell hooks the leg and gets the three and the win.
[WINNER: Devin Mitchell Via Shadowed Throne at 06:05]
This was new for someone’s half-sister as she snuck around the arena. Those who know who Brittany April is, half sister to NLW’s Chris Sanderson, were happy to see the nerdy, bubbly blonde. She had a hoodie and jeans on, trying to look like she blended in with the rest of the locker room. Metal Gear NLW as it were. Brittany, or Britty as she was known to millions of people as she doubled as a Twitch streamer, had a grin on her face.
She had found what she was looking for, a door. She knocked on it a few times and waited. Brittany was a little nervous but she had a way about her to always get what she wanted. She was a busty blonde and as everyone knows, they get what they want. How do you think Pam Anderson always stayed in the spotlight?!
Brittany April: If this doesn't work at least I can stream more.
The 23 year old mother of three, yeah, you read that right, but all with her husband and one set of twins, waited and pulled out a 3DS to pass the time. The sounds of Legend of Zelda filled the hallway as Brittany was soon paying more attention to taking the Master Sword until the door finally opened.
BB Gunn: Uhhh...Can I help you?
General Manager BB Gunn appeared, as he would, since this was his office.
Brittany April: Hello, Mr Gunn, I am here to fill the position of interviewer. Been around wrestling for a long time now, and I know what’s good and what to ask people. Name is Brittany April.
BB Gunn: That’s not possible, we have Kelly Ross as our in house interviewer. At least, last time I checked she was.
Gunn pauses to think.
BB Gunn: Well I’ve not seen a resignation letter, so I’m pretty sure she’s still here! Are you sure that’s why you’re here?
Brittany April: Yep! Looking to fill an open spot cuz are you sure she’s still here, Mr. Gunn? Normally you’d see your interviewer walking around the hallways looking for the latest scoop from a wrestler. Kinda disappointing you aren’t sure.
BB Gunn: Yeah...she’s setting up for the Cage and Kelly sit down...at least I think she is.
Brittany April: Regardless, I’m happy to be under contract here. Of course I’d rather be taking part in the ring but I still have a good while before I’m cleared to get back in the ring much less do heavy workouts. Plus side? Get to spend more time with my big bro!
Gunn double takes, he knew she was familiar.
BB Gunn: That’s right, you’re Sanderson’s half sister. Listen Brittany, I’m sure I’d have seen the contract for you to be here-
Brittany April: It’s been insane around here! I watch every show because I keep up with everything my family is involved with. You’re busy, and even if Kelly Rust-
BB Gunn: Kelly Ross.
Brittany April: ….Yeah, whatever, if she’s here that’s cool too. I’m on your payroll now and I’ll do whatever you need. Interview, producer, commentary, help clean up in catering, I’ll find a way to make myself useful. Unlike that Kelly Rusy who can’t be found!
Brittany leaves before Gunn can get a word in edgeways. Gunn stands there looking confused, and after a further pause, he shakes his head and simply says:
BB Gunn: I really don’t think she works here...but I really don’t have the time to find out right now...so I guess she does!
Voice: Damn, where the hell did they put him this time?!
The cameras cut backstage, and some modest cheers start to fill the Fogelman arena. The reason for the cheers is that the man on camera was the Manager Extraordinaire and local resident Eddie Walker.
Eddie Walker: I swear, every time I come to one of these shows, they got Adam in a different locker room. Maybe I should be looking for Sanders and Son instead of Adam’s name…
Walker examines a door nearby and checks the name on the placard. It reads “Riley Richards”.
Eddie Walker: Not that one.
The next one was “Tommy Kelly” followed by “Al Jabroni”.
Eddie Walker: I’m guessing they might be down that other hallway. Let’s see if…
As soon as Eddie turns around, his mouth stops along with his feet. He takes off his glasses for just a moment to wipe them with his shirt before putting them back on. His eyes are as wide as the frames of his glasses.
Eddie Walker: So let me get this straight. We have thirty contracted wrestlers, four managers, six contracted on-camera personalities counting Britty Kane, three upper-management, four people in catering, eight people on the four camera crews, two directors, three referees, eight stagehands, three road agents, and I’m sure Joe Blow still hides somewhere in this building even if he isn’t wrestling here anymore because where the hell else is he going to go. Of the seventy-two people I could have run into backstage in this building…
The camera zooms out to reveal none other than Eli Dresden, the blond smirking like a Cheshire cat as she leans against the wall. Cheers can be heard as Eddie Walker closes his eyes for a bit longer than your standard blink, almost like he was still trying to process everything that has been going on for the past week for him. He attempts to hide it with a friendly introduction.
Eddie Walker: Good evening, Ms. Dresden…
Eli Dresden: Aw, you don’t need to be that formal with me, Eddie! Eli’s fine.
A pause; that smirk goes almost wolfish.
Eli Dresden: Or Daddy, if that’s what you’d prefer.
Walker’s face freezes back to the widened expression he gave when he first bumped into the former NLW Heavyweight Champion.
Eddie Walker: I… don’t know what I prefer but I definitely don’t feel right about that one! So… right… I’m gonna go back looking for my client’s locker room. And I will see you tomorrow at End of Days…
That predatory gleam all but vanishes when Eddie mentions that he’s looking for the locker room belonging to his client, that instinct to be helpful to people that aren’t raging assholes revealing itself in Eli’s response.
Eli Dresden: Oh, Adam’s locker room? It’s past me, four or five doors down on the right. I don’t remember the exact number on the door.
Eddie’s eyebrows shoot upward.
Eddie Walker: Oh. Excellent. I appreciate the direction. Thank you, Ms. Dres… Eli…
Eli Dresden: No problem.
Pushing off the wall, Eli goes to walk past Eddie… but before she completely brushes by, she stops and leans up, her voice dropping to a murmur.
Eli Dresden: I expect you’ll show your… appreciation appropriately after I beat Adrien.
A pat of Eddie’s shoulder and Eli leaves him to his own devices, walking out of the frame. Eddie mostly stands stunned for a moment, not a word leaving the usually very talkative manager’s mouth. After about ten seconds, he finally starts walking towards where Eli said Adam’s locker room was.
MATCH TWO
Bloodied Fox vs Sexton Love
While there is a significant size difference between Sexton Love and Bloodied Fox, the latter's presence in the ring dwarfs that of Bodzilla when it comes to the crowd's support. This, of course, does not go unnoticed by the Sexcellence of Sexecution who takes personal offense when he realizes that Scar Vulp's supporters include the majority of the women in attendance. The moment the bell rings, Love is showing his displeasure by charging across the ring--but Fox has him scouted, nimbly sidestepping at the last moment to avoid his foe. That evasiveness continues with the next couple of attempts that the Man Of A Thousand Hoes makes, the reigning XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion dodging with a matador's grace at every bullish charge. Such only serves to frustrate Love all the more and, when he charges at Fox this time? The smaller man is moving aside, Bloodied's hand finding the small of Sexton's back to guide his momentum into the ropes--and on the rebound, the Bloody Rainmaker is using said momentum against Big Daddy Love to get him up and over, the belly-to-belly suplex making the ring shake with the amount of pepper Fox is able to put on it!
Love arches his back as Fox pops right back up to his feet, biding his time. The moment that Sexton sits up, Fox is firing off a penalty kick, the crowd letting out a collective 'Ooooh!' as Sexton clutches the small of his back. Another follows, and then another before Scar Vulp is backing up into the ropes, using them to run forward so the fourth and final kick rings out as loud as a gunshot. Sexton falls over sideways, and Fox goes for the pin--but Love kicks out at two with authority, the insults towards his opponent's masculinity and size seemingly helping to propel him free. The unadulterated filth that leaves Love's mouth doesn't let up when Fox glares at him--if anything, it intensifies, provoking Fox into going in for another strike. A rake to the eyes is what the Bloody Rainmaker catches, the fans jeering and the referee scolding Bodzilla as he gets to his feet. Sexton pays the disapproval no mind, a smirk overtaking his features as he takes control of the match.
The pace slows down significantly, not just to keep Fox from gaining momentum, but to allow Love the chance to show off. Bicep flex elbow drops, Scott Steiner push-ups... those and more are used to lord Tyrannosaurus Sex's self-proclaimed superiority over the smaller opponent. After a fallaway slam that plants Scar Vulp with authority, Bodzilla kips up, posing and preening for the audience even as they boo him with all of their might--but the boos become cheers when Fox pops up behind his foe and catches him in a roll-up, Love just barely kicking out before the three! Sexton pops up to his feet with a head full of steam, but so does Fox. The XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion's expression is one of pure determination as he charges in. It looks like Sexton has caught him as he spins him for the Rude Awakening, but Fox reaches up and pulls Sexton down first! Sexton scrambles to get up, but the very act of rolling over is what Fox wanted, and he hooks Sexton into the Lament Configuration! Bodzilla is immediately cursing in pain, trying to use his strength to drag the Bloody Rainmaker toward the ropes... but the pain proves to be too much. Sexton Love eventually taps out, the first to fall to Bloodied Fox in the latter's time in NLW!
[WINNER: Bloodied Fox Via Lament Configuration at 08:24]
The cameras fade in to catch the Thespian stretching himself out before his match tonight, with his Interpreter discussing match tactics on the side. Off from the other side, Kelly Ross walks into frame with a microphone in hand.
Kelly Ross: Hello, you two. I was hoping to grab a quick interview before the championship match tonight. Is that okay with you both?
Idrissa looks over to Theo, who merely nods in agreement as his stretches wrap up.
The Interpreter: We’d love to answer your questions. Ask away.
Kelly Ross: Thank you. Firstly, how do you feel about the events that transpired at the last Ascendency? You scored the pinfall victory over Lazarus Arjen, and immediately left the ring just as things got ugly. Any thoughts on the assault that led to tonight’s main event?
The Thespian considers his choice of words for a moment before beginning to sign towards Kelly. The Interpreter… well, does what he’s paid to do:
The Interpreter: “I think what Nathan Cage did in that ring was deplorable, but it is not any of my business to get between anyone. If they wish to kill each other outside of their matches, that’s on them. Neither of them certainly want, need, or warrant defending. If anything, the only reason Tommy struck down Nathan Cage was to fuel his own pride, nothing more.”
Kelly Ross: Alright. How do you feel about the main event being scheduled as it is? You mentioned in the leading weeks that you felt like two of the wrestlers in this match did not even deserve to be here, correct?
The Interpreter: “I do. Quite frankly, with all due respect to Felix, I do not believe he should be in this match either. I may not have won the championship one-on-one, but I earned my spot, and last week, I proved my worth by PINNING Lazarus for the win. The belt should have been awarded directly to me, but it’s okay. I’ll play as nice as I need to be. Management wants to put people in my way again, one of which I’ve already defeated? Fine. I’ll do it again.”
Kelly Ross: Bold words from the challenger! I have one more question, if you do not mind.
The Thespian tilts his head a little, but nods none-the-less.
Kelly Ross: About a month or so ago, you entered the Cruiserfest Battle Royale for the XHF Junior-Heavyweight Championship against the Bloodied Fox and over a dozen more competitors. Do you have any thoughts about the champion, himself, signing himself to NLW?
Both masked gentlemen seem taken aback by the question. The Thespian takes another moment to consider his words, this pause lasting longer than the last, before giving his response:
The Interpreter: “I came up short at Cruiserfest. I will own that. Congratulations to Mr. Fox for walking into Cruisefest as champion, and leaving the same way.
The Thespian turns his attention away from Kelly Ross, and faces towards the camera a little. Kelly looks a little insulted, but allows the wrestler to make his message more direct:
The Interpreter: “Fox. Let me be one of the first ones to welcome you to Next Level Wrestling. It was a pleasure to be a part of that match that saw you take on all comers and retain, despite the massive target on your back. You are a fierce competitor, and one I would very much like to get my hands on again for that championship. But, in due time. By all means, if you want a rematch, you know how to find me. But if not?”
The Thespian leans in a little closer towards the camera, casting an ominous shadow over the lens.
The Interpreter: “Then we’ll find our way to you soon.”
The Thespian immediately snaps back and claps his hands together before signing again towards Kelly Rose:
The Interpreter: “But enough about the future. I’ve got my own gold to win tonight. If you will excuse us.”
Both the Thespian and the Interpreter take a small bow to Kelly before walking down the halls of the Lakefront Arena.
Next Level Wrestling Presents
HOMECOMING II
LIVE from the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans, Louisiana
Saturday, November 27th, 2021
HOMECOMING II
LIVE from the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans, Louisiana
Saturday, November 27th, 2021
MATCH THREE
NLW TAG TEAM TITLE TOURNAMENT
The End vs Sanders & Son
Fargo and Sanderson are the legal men who start the match. Their styles aren’t dissimilar, but their demeanors could not be more different. They circle the ring, but when Sanderson tries to shoot behind Fargo, he catches a low round kick to the ribs, and then Fargo just starts peppering him with kicks from both sides. When Sanderson starts blocking, he adds in forearm and elbow strikes, and when he starts countering those with elbows of his own, Fargo grabs Sanderson in a cravate, bringing him down so he can just knee the dog shit out of him. He gets four or five knees in before Sanderson wraps his arms around Fargo’s waist and hoists him with a Northern Lights Suplex! It’s a quick kickout, but also a wake up call to Fargo. He tries to pick Sanderson’s ankle, but Sanderson predicts this, catching Fargo with an Exploder Suplex! He goes for another pin, gets another (but slower) kickout. As Fargo gets up, Sanderson runs the ropes, flipping off of them in a handspring, but as he leaps back for the rebound Ace Crusher, Fargo just sidesteps him irreverently, watching him land on his back. The crowd boos as Fargo drags Sanderson over to his corner to tag in Mehrunes. Sanderson starts to fight Fargo off, but he gets clubbed in the back of the head by Mehrunes, which opens him up to suffer Fargo’s Shotgun Blast into a Mehrunes German Suplex. This brutal combo results in a long two count.
Mehrunes immediately goes for the kill, lifting Sanderson into a corner and starting a brutal Violence Party, but as the crowd boos more stiff chops and elbows, Sanderson starts coming around, and when Mehrunes tries to close with a lariat, Sanderson ducks it, shooting behind and getting the German he wanted for Fargo earlier! The crowd cheers, but not as loud as when Sanderson crawls to his corner and gets a hot tag! Sanders busts in, nailing a clothesline on Mehrunes, then one on Fargo who tries to come in and cut off the momentum. There’s a dropkick for both as well, but as the ref tries to usher a groggy Fargo out of the ring, Mehrunes runs Sanders into a neutral corner with a shoulder thrust. After a few thrusts, Mehrunes tries to lift Sanders up to the top buckle, but Sanders is not dazed enough, so he kicks Mehrunes away. Then he hops up to stand on the top rope, then leaps with the Flight of the Dragonite, blasting Mehrunes with the flying clothesline but only getting a two count out of it.
Sanders senses victory and lifts Mehrunes, going for This is Awkward, but Mehrunes twists out of the Vertical Suplex before it becomes a piledriver, landing behind Sanders and immediately leaping again, cracking Sanders with the Ghettolizer. Both men are down, and it looks like Sanders will get his own hot tag, but Fargo barrels into the ring to blast Sanderson off the apron before he can! The crowd howls, but Fargo ignores the official’s chastisement to drag Mehrunes close to his corner so that when he steps back out, he’s in position to tag himself in. Much to everyone’s chagrin, the ref has to let it happen, so Fargo comes back in and lifts Sanders up, then drills him with the Alt-F5! The crowds hatred turns to deafening cheers when Sanders kicks out, but Fargo is not deterred. He drops a knee across Sanders’ face, then stands up and just stomps him a few times. The ref chides him, but he just stares back as he stomps Sanders again. After a few such stomps, Fargo stalks Sanders, going for the Cross Trigger, but Sanders catches him with a Lightning Strike superkick!
There’s a double down again, and Sanderson tries to get out in front of the tactic that blindsided him last time, but the ref catches him and pushes him back toward his corner. Sanderson protests, but all the protest does is give Mehrunes time to do exactly what he wanted to prevent, and when he relents, the ref sees Mehrunes tag himself in. Sanderson charges in to try and disrupt things, but Fargo yanks the ropes down to launch him out of the ring. Fargo then lifts Sanders as Mehrunes goes up top, and before Sanderson can do anything, The End has sandwiched Sanders with a Backstabber Shooting Star Press combo finisher! Fargo rolls out to hold Sanderson down so Mehrunes can get a definitive three count!
[WINNERS: The End via Blacksky Eye at 10:48]
Dan Simmons: Well, folks, we now go live to Kelly Ross who will be conducting a simulcast interview tonight with “Deathless” Tommy Kelly and “The Rabid Dog” Nathan Cage.
Tommy West: In the main event at last Ascendancy, these men caused, quite possibly, the closest we have come to a riot at NLW.
Dan Simmons: I’m getting word that they are indeed ready to go, we bring you now over to Kelly Ross, Kelly?
The feed is thrown to a screen depicting the NLW logo on the bottom and two screens on the left and right. On the left is Nathan Cage, wordlessly arguing with someone off-camera in the arena’s backstage area. Pissed off as ever. On the right is Tommy Kelly, sitting on a slashed up looking couch in a hotel room. Bottle in hand. With both feeds muted, Kelly’s voiceover sounds throughout the arena.
Kelly Ross: We have here, ladies and gentlemen, Nathan Cage and Tommy Kelly! Gentlemen, we thank you both very much for your patience.
As the feeds are unmuted, the audience is treated to the sounds of Kelly taking a few swigs from his bottle and the last few beats of Cage’s argument.
Nathan Cage: -And don’t ever count me down again, I’ll open your head up on live TV ya little prick!
Kelly Ross: Cage, are- are you with us?
Nathan Cage: Yes!
Kelly Ross: Kelly, let’s ask the first question, if you don’t mind, to you. Ever since losing the world championship to Finn Whelan, albeit due to interference, some say that you might have lost a step compared to your dominating reign as champion. Now, with Mr. Cage repeatedly goading and hounding you and the company for a match, are you at all worried about that assessment? Do you agree with it at all?
Tommy Kelly: I’ve been in this game a looong time Karen.
Kelly Ross: ...uh, it’s Kelly-
Tommy Kelly: -and I know a weasel when I see one. That punk shit dick breath Cage is nothing but a weasel. A loser, a wannabe, a damn fuckin’ scut. But he’s smart… he knows goading me will get him into the spotlight. He knows messing with me will get him on TV screens. Tell me this Karen… how many times have I lost in NLW? How many matches did I walk out of not holdin’ my fucking palms to the sky?
Kelly Ross: Well, on the record, two. Finn Whelan and Leon Chant both took wins over you.
Tommy Kelly: Two. In all my fights, with all my demons and my doubts… two smelly cunt matches. And both beat me for the gold, the top brass. I lost to the very best at the time… that’s all I have to say on that. Nathan Cage thinks he can move those numbers, slot his name into that prestigious group?
The StormCrow chuckles, swigs his drink and spills some over his chin.
Tommy Kelly: I’d rather slot myself into his Mother.
A very flustered and embarrassed Kelly tries quickly to move past the comment, seemingly lost for words.
Kelly Ross: Strong words from our former champion there. Nathan, what do you have to say about this, Tommy Kelly thinking you don’t have what it takes to put him down?
Cage, who had been making mocking expressions through the entirety of Tommy’s time talking, scoffs as Kelly addresses him.
Nathan Cage: Why d’you insist on askin’ me stupid goddamn questions? Any man that’s asked what he’s gonna do about some punk who’s been houndin’ him week after week after week and all he’s got to say is braggin’ about his wins and his losses. That’s a man who’s tellin’ ya “Yes Miss Kelly, I am afraid Nathan Cage is gonna kick my ass.”
Kelly Ross: Well you could sa-
Nathan Cage: Shut up! The way it stands right now is that Tommy Boy can sit in his piss stained drawers and act like challengin’ him’s a big powerplay by Nathan Cage, but the fact is ain’t nobody bangin’ his door down for a match ‘cept me. He ain’t got that little belt ‘round his waist, so there ain’t a fuckin’ person in this arena that wants a thing to do with ‘em! I want Tommy Kelly, same reason I want any shithead here! He’s coasted along by the fact that NLW’s a goddamn cesspit! He’s overrated and he’s a damn joke! The fact of it is, if it weren’t for Nathan Cage callin’ him out, he’d be another damn face on the roster tryin’ to scratch and claw for a lil recognition to get back in the main event. Then all his pretty little wins wouldn’t mean SHIT!
Tommy Kelly: Tell me this lad, what have YOU achieved here? What have you done anywhere, what have you accomplished that would make me stand up, brush off my dick and say 'lets fuckin do it'. I'll tell you what...abso-cunting-nothing. I don't need some Kurt Cobain wannabe jerkoff in my headspace, it's already crowed enough.
Kelly pauses for a second, leans in on the couch and stares right into the camera.
Tommy Kelly: you ain't nothin, you've never been nothin, and you'll forever be nothin but piss on the floor. And that's coming from ME! Fuckin little brat. Just another Wellington Dunne...a burnout praying for one last moment of recognition.
Nathan Cage: You just keep doin’ what you do best, son! Whine an’ complain an’ mope around ramblin’ about how big a damn star ya were! Ever since that fat scottish piece of garbage caused ya to lose your belt, you haven’t done a damn thing ‘cept cry!
Cage folds his arms, smirk etched on his face at making Kelly lose his cool.
Nathan Cage: All you care about is belts and wins and losses, ya ain’t seen the shit Nathan Cage has done elsewhere, cause the censors ain’t allowed to air it! Even then, every damn thing I’ve said I was gonna do, I’ve done! NLW’s gotta pawn the Southern States Championship off to someone else, cause the formerly unbeaten, feared, dangerous champion; got in Nathan Cage’s way! Speakin’ of which whoever walks out tonight with that title, feel free to send me my cheque in the mail, cause none of ya would be holdin’ it otherwise!
Kelly Ross: Well, let’s… Let’s get things back on track here, Gentlemen. Mr. Kelly one thing the fans have been wondering is that a match between yourself and Mr. Cage hasn’t been officially booked yet. Possibly it’s due to Cage’s repeated run-ins with management, but it’s clear he himself is all for this match taking place. Are you at all eager for such a match? Is it something you’d try to convince Mr. Gunn on?
Nathan Cage: Right.
Cage leaves a pause of literally half a second.
Nathan Cage: ANSWER!
Tommy Kelly: Man, Cage, get yourself a fresh tampon lad. All I hear is yap yap yap, thinking yer so fuckin high and mighty. As if anybody even fuckin knows your name except me, and I name all my little turds. Fuck it.
Tommy stands up from his seat, a medley of crumbs and food leftovers that somehow laid rest on his gut now rain on the floor.
Tommy Kelly: You and your tampon have a lot in common. Yer both stuck up cunts. You think you can take? You think you can even dance with me, boy? Then fuck it. Book it. I'll call BB now and get it going. The Crow versus the pissin' Weasel.
Tommy exits the shot, via a means of ripping off his microphone loudly and sporadically catching his barrage of course words aimed right at Nathan Cage.
Kelly Ross: Well...I guess that settles that. Mr. Cage, I'm sure I don't need to ask YOU if you would like the match to happen or not-
Nathan Cage: Not if you wanna keep your spleen! Win, lose or draw, not only is the match gonna happen, it ain’t even gonna be the end for Tommy Kelly! S’long as he steps into an arena where an NLW show’s takin’ place, I will be right behind him and he ain’t ever gettin’ through with Nathan Cage till his ass is GONE!
Kelly Ross: Well folks, though Tommy Kelly may have left but we thank him so much and we are running out of-
Nathan Cage: It’s Cage’s house now.
Kelly Ross: All right, thank you very much for joining us we take you ba-
Nathan Cage: No, no, NO! Ya can tell him to go piss off, but you’ve had me get all dressed up and wait in a piss stinkin’ arena all night for this! Nothin’ happens until BB Gunn takes his balls out’ve his desk and makes this match official!
Cage points at someone to the left of the camera.
Nathan Cage: And I fuckin’ warned ya about countin’ me down, boy! Now we’ve got a damn problem!
Kelly Ross: Mr. Ca- Hey!
Cage’s audio becomes less clear as the camera follows him off the interview set. He gets in the face of a clearly afraid man, headset perched on his face which is summarily knocked off by Cage who places his hands on the man’s shirt collar.
Nathan Cage: [Indistinct expletives]
Cage violently tosses the man to the right, where he stumbles into some production equipment and knocks over a different camera with his landing. Cage’s yelling gets barely picked up.
Nathan Cage: -IN’T DONE BY A LONG SHOT! -oboDY COUNTS ME DOWN!
Kelly Ross: Can somebody please get security!
Cage picks up some monitors and light stands and begins smashing them against the floor, his rampage turns to the main camera that had been recording this carnage.
Nathan Cage: -oN’T BE A DAMN SHOW UNTIL GUNN MAKES THIS FUCKIN’ MATCH!
Cage gets closer to the camera, his audio more clear now that his face is mere inches from the screen.
Nathan Cage: CAUSE I’M NATHAN! FUCKIN’! C-
Cage’s feed is cut to black. A few seconds later, the feed of Tommy Kelly’s empty sofa does the same. There is a longer pause before a weary sigh escapes from the unseen Kelly Ross.
Kelly Ross: Back to you guys.
MATCH FOUR
NON-TITLE MATCH
Leon Chant (C) vs David Goon
The camera reset to ringside where Dan Simmons was beginning to run down the recent bad blood between The Academy and The Goons, and the upcoming stakes between Leon Chant and Ricardo Goon. As he did we cut to a clip of The Goons heading to the ring, ready for the match between David and Chant. Suddenly a voice came from behind them, Leon Chant was stood behind them, and he looked ready to fight.
Leon Chant: You’re going the wrong way boys, the fight’s this way.
The Goons look at each other and aren’t phased.
David Goon: Yo’, didn’t anybody ever teach you not to bring a Goon to a knife fight?
The Goons reach into their pockets and produce brass knuckledusters, placing them on their right hands and slowly advancing towards the NLW Heavyweight Champion.
Leon Chant: And didn’t anybody ever tell you that if you’re gonna try and give Riley Richards a concussion, that you should actually get the job done?
Before either Goon can react, a steel chair comes flying from the left of shot and cracks David Goon in the side of the head. David stumbles but is taken down courtesy of a thesz press and the two start exchanging rights on the floor, swapping positions almost every other second. Ric doesn’t stop to check on his brother and he goes charging at Chant, looking to clean him out in one shot, Chant is wise to it, ducks and connects with a full nelson slam, this causes the knucks to fall out of Ric’s hand. Chant hears them drop onto the floor and steps over to them, kicking them well away. This allows Ric to recover and level Chant with a low blow. Chant doubles over and Ric gets back to his feet, he throws Chant into a wooden crate which breaks on impact.
The camera quickly shifts to show David Goon trying to bust Riley Richards open by forcing his head against the corner of a production trunk. Richards elbows David to push him back a few steps and allow him to his feet, Goon comes back but eats a Pele kick for his trouble. Both men get back to their feet, slowly and Goon charges at Richards once more, he tries a lariat but Riley ducks and David turns into a shotgun dropkick which launches him back into a wall, hitting the back of his head hard. Richards looks around for a weapon, not used to this sort of scenario, and he grabs the chair he used before. He grabs it and tries to throw it at David’s head, but the older Goon brother isn’t going to be done twice and catches it, and before Richards can react David throws it back in his face!
Back to Ricardo Goon and Leon Chant, Ricardo is looking for another weapon whilst Leon struggles to clear himself from the wreckage of the wooden box. Strangely, Ric double takes as he spots something placed on another crate which is nearby. It’s a steel pipe. He looks at Chant as if to say “I know you didn’t bring this…so why is it here?”. However, this is fleeting as Chant is stirring and Ric knows he needs to use it or lose it. He slowly approaches the champion and goes to strike him with the pipe. Chant, at the last minute grabs Ric by the wrist, and headbutts him to send him stumbling back. The pipe drops to the floor with a large clang, and Chant explodes at the G1 winner, bull rushing him and picking him up by the waist, before dumping him through a table that was behind him.
Chant gets back up to his feet and picks the pipe up, he takes a moment to consider his actions, and has the look in his eyes that he’s going to use it on Ricardo, but before he can do anything else, he’s swarmed by four security guards, General Manage BB Gunn is nearby in all this as Chant begins to try and wrestle himself free.
BB Gunn: No! I told you no two weeks ago and I’m telling you no now, this isn’t how things fly on my show!
Leon’s eyes look like they may pop out of his skull, and he manages to get enough of an arm free to slam the pipe on the back of one of the security team, who crumples to the ground. In this time Ric is back to his feet, and he’s going after the security as well!
BB Gunn: Oh for f-
Gunn stomps off, clearly needing a plan B, because plan A was not working right now, Chant and Goon dispatched the four men, ending with the champion hitting a pop up powerbomb to the last guard into the remains of the crate that Goon had sent him through minutes before. However, when he turned back to get back to business with Goon, he ate a superkick, sending him down to the floor. Ricardo Goon laughed and collected the pipe from nearby the fallen Chant. He stands over the champion who has got to one knee, he looks up and sees the pipe pointed right between his eyes and he freezes. Goon stands, almost execution style over him.
Ricardo Goon: Ya’ know, it hasn’t been us doing all this, but I’m very quickly starting to see the appeal!
Ricardo raises his arm to go for the knockout blow, but the champion is saved by Riley Richards, who tackles the younger Goon brother to the ground. Ric pushes him off but both scramble to their feet and exchange punches. Chant breaths a sigh of relief but David is suddenly back on the scene and the two of them are brawling immediately. As the madness ensues, BB Gunn is back and he’s not alone, he’s brought half the NLW locker room and they finally pull the four men apart.
BB Gunn: I’ve had enough of this shit! None of you four are to touch each other next week, to hell with the Homecoming main event, I’ll fire all four of you if you even breath on each other!
Gunn is almost spitting anger.
BB Gunn: Now, get them out of here…preferably out of my building. We’ve got a new Southern States Champion to crown and I’m sick of dealing with you idiots.
The four are all dragged off in different directions.
[WINNER: NO CONTEST]
The cameras cut elsewhere backstage, where we see Kelly Ross and Bloodied Fox, who is now in street clothes.
Kelly Ross: Kelly Ross here with new NLW signee Bloodied Fox. Fox, a hard fought debut tonight against Sexton Love, but I specifically wanted to ask you if you'd heard the comments made earlier tonight by The Thespian regarding the XHF Junior Heavyweight title?
Bloodied Fox: Indeed I did, Kelly. Thespian, thanks for the warm welcome, and also the advance warning that you're after a one on one shot at the gold. The champion's tour schedule doesn't hit NLW until December, but if I can defeat Lord Dominicus at End of Days: Battlefield, and if I can then beat whoever wins FIRESIDE's Penalty Box match, then I'm more than happy to face you as an early Christmas present.
Kelly Ross: And if you don't?
Bloodied Fox: If I don't, then I'm going to need top quality opposition to show that I still deserve to be here on the roster, and The Thespian will just have to make do with fighting the best pure striker in the XHF for bragging rights rather than a title.
Kelly looks to the camera.
Kelly Ross: You heard it here first, folks. Looks like we'll be seeing Bloodied Fox against The Thespian somewhere down the line.
MAIN EVENT - MATCH FIVE
SOUTHERN STATES TITLE MATCH
Felix vs The Thespian vs Keahi Sparks vs Al Jabroni
Felix, Thespian, Sparks and Jabroni all stood looking at one another, they knew the stakes, they know how easily it could slip from their grasp, so a little caution was to be expected. Sparks immediately charged at jabroni with a huge European uppercut that knocks him out of the ring. She took a moment to admire her handywork as Thespian and Felix engaged with each other, and the latter caught Thespian by surprise, ducking a lariat attempt and replying with a roundhouse kick that connected and bundled him out of the ring. This left just Sparks and Felix in the ring. The pair circled each other and looked to lock up in the middle of the ring, but Felix grabbed a hold of her arm and flipped her over him. She immediately got back to her feet only for Felix to knock her back down with a spinning back kick. Once again, she didn’t stay down for long and got back to a vertical base. Felix opted to change the kicks up and went for a right hook, but she ducked and kicked him on his hip. She followed with a second kick but Felix caught the leg, he spun her around and went for a lariat, but she ducked, charged to the ropes and connected with neckbreaker to down The Warrior! Felix wasn’t down for long and after a beat pause he got back to his feet after and Sparks was again running at the ropes, where she attempted a clothesline, but Felix ducked and she spun around only for Felix to floor her with an STO. He covered but got just a one count.
Felix got back to his feet and backed off Sparks, waiting for her to get up, but suddenly his legs were taken out from under him, as Thespian then dragged him out of the ring and tossed him into the barricade. As this happened Sparks was getting back to her feet but she sensed danger, turning to her right but slightly too late to stop Al Jabroni hitting a missile shotgun dropkick that sent her out of the ring as well! Thespian slid back into the ring and immediately pounced on Jabroni, who turned into a spear. Thespian dragged Jabroni back to his feet and sent him to the corner where he hit an enziguri to compound the punishment. Jabroni dropped to one knee but again was being dragged to his feet, and was sent to the opposite corner. Thespian charged but Jabroni instinctively got his feet up, well, it may have been instinct, or it may have been reactionary to Johnny B screaming at him to do so, we’ll never really know. Jabroni hit a bulldog to ground the mysterious showman, and quickly followed it up with a lionsault, making the cover for a two count.
Thespian looked a bit dazed as he sits up…well, we assume given that there’s no face to see, but there was a woozy impression of the man. Jabroni grabbed a hold of his head and locked in a headlock. He climbed to his knees with the hold still in place, and everybody in attendance was impressed at Jabroni’s application here, since it’s normally a lot more haphazard. Jabroni tried to apply more pressure, but Thespian got back to his feet as he did, he immediately reversed the submission so that he has Jabroni in a similar headlock. Immediately, Al started running and pushed Thespian off and sent him into the ropes. He looked for a dropkick, but Thespian wrapped his arms around the top rope as he bounced off them, meaning he stayed where he was and Al Jabroni dropkicked thin air. Thespian looked like he would go take advantage, but Sparks was back on the apron, and he cocked his head in time to eat a running clothesline.
The Emerald Blade got into the ring and made a beeline for Jabroni. She grabbed him and hit Din’s Fire [overhead belly to belly suplex] before turning to The Thespian and scooping him up, hitting a falling powerslam. Both men rolled away and out of the ring. Sparkes was suddenly clubbed in the back by Felix, who had got back in the ring and caught her off guard, and with her in the right position he hit a Saito suplex. Felix got to his feet and stalked Sparks, who slowly got to her knees, which allowed him to hit her with Naginata [shoot kicks into spinning heel kick], he covered and got a two count.
Felix looked around, both Thespian and Jabroni were out of the picture so he dragged her back to her feet and went looking for an exploder suplex, but Sparks elbowed out, and hit a belly to belly suplex on the Warrior. She was straight back to her feet and went to the corner instantly, with nobody to stop her she hit the Dive Bomb [triple jump moonsault], making the cover…but Felix got a shoulder up just in time!
Sparks was winding up on Felix, and she stalked him as he struggled to his feet, she went for Lights in the Sky [blue thunder bomb] but Felix instinctively held onto the nearby rope, blocking the move, he flung an elbow at her to force separating, before in a near rage he hit Uchi-Sute [elbow smashes/cravat knee strikes combo into bicycle knee strike]. Unfortunately for him this rocked Sparks back and out of the ring. Meanwhile in the background, Al Jabroni had gone to the top rope…waiting for his moment. Jabroni got his opportunity and as Felix turned his way, he took flight and hit Catch 22 [flying hurricanrana], however as soon as he made impact Thespian was on the scene, he grabbed and launched Jabroni over the top rope, and he landed with quite a nasty thud. Thespian then went straight back to Felix, and he hit Take a Bow [inverted suplex cutter]! He made the cover and with Sparks and Jabroni not able to get back in the ring, he got the win!
[WINNER AND NEW SOUTHERN STATES CHAMPION: The Thespian Via Take a Bow at 15:10]
The Thespian has his arm raised and is given the title, Jabroni and Sparks look on from the ring apron, frustrated, upset, as to be expected. The Interpreter joins the new champion in the ring and re-raises his hand as "To Death we Dance" plays on the P.A system.
Dan Simmons: Since his arrival, The Thespian has been more than impressive Tommy,and now he's the Southern States Champion!
Tommy West: The dude is weird as hell if you ask me, Simmo, but you're dead right, and probably fitting that it's Halloween tomorrow night and this guy wins the title!
Dan Simmons: Folks, we are out of time, we are four weeks away from our biggest night of the year, Homecoming II, which means we have one more stop in two weeks. What will happen? The way things have been around here lately it's anybody's guess! But I'm excited to find out! Tommy and I will see you all then for another episode of Ascendancy...until then, have a good night and happy Halloween!
We fade out on a triumphant Thespian to close the show.
