Post by kiddiaz316 on Oct 24, 2021 21:39:44 GMT -5
(Scene opens in Atlanta in Kid Diaz’s bowling alley in the basement of his mansion. He’s seated at the bar!)
Diaz: Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, some dude kissed his sister, and then bum rushed a midget bear. Oh wait, that was Star Wars.
(Kid chuckles.)
Diaz: What I meant to say is, this should be simple. We turn up to work, throw on our gear, go to the ring, and wrestle. It really is that simple right? That’s how it was years ago! These days, you’ve got punk ass bitches demanding all kinds of treats in their changing rooms, thinking that it’s them calling the shots. It’s quite pathetic really, but hey, that’s how the business in UPW has evolved, so I guess us O.G’s can either bitch and moan about it, or, we can evolve, roll with the punches, and embrace the new ways.
(Kid shrugs.)
Diaz: Me? I chose the second option. You see in wrestling school it was boring. It was just headlocks, body slams, clotheslines, sleeper holds, and if you were lucky, the odd piledriver or suplex. Wow, riveting stuff right? Thief Taylor is old school and so old school he’s the oldest school! It was almost as depressing as listening to a CJ Walker promo about going to some made up federation with a foam toy belt from fucking Walmart. These days, I can do what I want, when I want, and I get to REALLY hurt people in the process. I get to drive around in flashy sports cars, helicopters, stretch limos, wine and dine with some of the most beautiful women in the world and in the ring, we’re encouraged to try new things, and to beat the living fuck out of each other. Good times, good times indeed! I am a HUGE DEAL! Bigger deal than anything Rags can create!
(Kid snickers.)
Diaz: Yeah I keep taking shots at old Rags but he is just a special kind of ass hole. He makes himself out to be a real big deal but he is the kinda guy who surrounds himself with half wits so he is the smartest guy in the room! He would rather rule in hell than serve in heaven! But everyone has to figure out their place in the world.
(Kid pauses.)
Diaz: Look at Maddox! Another B-Player trying to convince the world he is more. He’s soft! He’s easily offended gay jokes and off handed racism and makes everything about him! He ain’t that important at the end of the day! He concerns himself with monopolizing behind the scene propaganda! Look at the bullshit he tried to start with Bish! Yeah I went there ya little bitch!
(Kid pauses.)
Diaz: Then we got TCE and Cage! Two guys who had some moderate success in a company run by a fat pasty cock sucker from Minneapolis! Does anyone really care? Do they really? Nostalgia is cancerous! Just go and retire! Sad to see two old wash up heretical geriatrics attempting to relive their glory days! This ain’t 1999 boys! The audience that you appeal to have long moved on from watching wrestling! Today’s fan doesn’t get you and has no interest in trying too! Fucking sad!
(Kid shakes head and takes a drink.)
Diaz: Point is, The Blackhand is the pinnacle, the cornerstone, the crown jewel of this business! We saved UPW from irrelevancy! We SAVED this place from shit tanking and folding like a cheap tent! WE ARE THE PILLARS that are holding it all together and Hostile Fury is going to be the breeding ground and birth place of our ultimate descend to the ABSOLUTE SOLUTION!
(Kid sits back and covers his mouth in shock and slowly moves his hand showing him grinning.)
Diaz: It will be a cleansing! A much needed face lift to UPW when we waltz around with all the belts and all clout as we strut our shit! Guys like Jester and Neanderthal will be laying in a hospital bed wondering what in the fuck just happen!
(Kid laughs.)
Diaz: After Hostile Furry, we will have carte blanche to be insufferable ass holes and there ain’t mother fucking thing anyone can do about it!
(Camera fades to black.)
(End Feed.)
Diaz: Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, some dude kissed his sister, and then bum rushed a midget bear. Oh wait, that was Star Wars.
(Kid chuckles.)
Diaz: What I meant to say is, this should be simple. We turn up to work, throw on our gear, go to the ring, and wrestle. It really is that simple right? That’s how it was years ago! These days, you’ve got punk ass bitches demanding all kinds of treats in their changing rooms, thinking that it’s them calling the shots. It’s quite pathetic really, but hey, that’s how the business in UPW has evolved, so I guess us O.G’s can either bitch and moan about it, or, we can evolve, roll with the punches, and embrace the new ways.
(Kid shrugs.)
Diaz: Me? I chose the second option. You see in wrestling school it was boring. It was just headlocks, body slams, clotheslines, sleeper holds, and if you were lucky, the odd piledriver or suplex. Wow, riveting stuff right? Thief Taylor is old school and so old school he’s the oldest school! It was almost as depressing as listening to a CJ Walker promo about going to some made up federation with a foam toy belt from fucking Walmart. These days, I can do what I want, when I want, and I get to REALLY hurt people in the process. I get to drive around in flashy sports cars, helicopters, stretch limos, wine and dine with some of the most beautiful women in the world and in the ring, we’re encouraged to try new things, and to beat the living fuck out of each other. Good times, good times indeed! I am a HUGE DEAL! Bigger deal than anything Rags can create!
(Kid snickers.)
Diaz: Yeah I keep taking shots at old Rags but he is just a special kind of ass hole. He makes himself out to be a real big deal but he is the kinda guy who surrounds himself with half wits so he is the smartest guy in the room! He would rather rule in hell than serve in heaven! But everyone has to figure out their place in the world.
(Kid pauses.)
Diaz: Look at Maddox! Another B-Player trying to convince the world he is more. He’s soft! He’s easily offended gay jokes and off handed racism and makes everything about him! He ain’t that important at the end of the day! He concerns himself with monopolizing behind the scene propaganda! Look at the bullshit he tried to start with Bish! Yeah I went there ya little bitch!
(Kid pauses.)
Diaz: Then we got TCE and Cage! Two guys who had some moderate success in a company run by a fat pasty cock sucker from Minneapolis! Does anyone really care? Do they really? Nostalgia is cancerous! Just go and retire! Sad to see two old wash up heretical geriatrics attempting to relive their glory days! This ain’t 1999 boys! The audience that you appeal to have long moved on from watching wrestling! Today’s fan doesn’t get you and has no interest in trying too! Fucking sad!
(Kid shakes head and takes a drink.)
Diaz: Point is, The Blackhand is the pinnacle, the cornerstone, the crown jewel of this business! We saved UPW from irrelevancy! We SAVED this place from shit tanking and folding like a cheap tent! WE ARE THE PILLARS that are holding it all together and Hostile Fury is going to be the breeding ground and birth place of our ultimate descend to the ABSOLUTE SOLUTION!
(Kid sits back and covers his mouth in shock and slowly moves his hand showing him grinning.)
Diaz: It will be a cleansing! A much needed face lift to UPW when we waltz around with all the belts and all clout as we strut our shit! Guys like Jester and Neanderthal will be laying in a hospital bed wondering what in the fuck just happen!
(Kid laughs.)
Diaz: After Hostile Furry, we will have carte blanche to be insufferable ass holes and there ain’t mother fucking thing anyone can do about it!
(Camera fades to black.)
(End Feed.)