TAROSA e8s2 Race to the Franchise
Oct 26, 2021 5:22:01 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer and terras like this
Post by Steve Awesome on Oct 26, 2021 5:22:01 GMT -5
THE AWESOME REALITY OF STEVE AWESOME!
“Race to the Franchise…”
“Pepe Le Phew!”
“Race to the Franchise…”
“Pepe Le Phew!”
A long, jet black limo pulls up to a building. The front end passed the camera and the rest of the limo seemed to go on forever. Finally it stops at the back end and a driver comes around and opens the rear door. But no one was inside.
That’s when Steve Awesome came strutting out of the building in style. And that’s when you could hear a very familiar and catchy disco riff. It was a bit overcast that day but damn did he shine. He had the XHF Tag Team Championship on one shoulder. The NPW Openweight Championship on the other. And of course within his clutches, The End of Days briefcase. Also wait, that beat? Oh damn him.
🎼Well you can tell by the way I use my walk/ I’m an Awesome Man! Won End of Days.🎼
He does a really smooth spin move.
🎼Got two belts, and this case/ Dakotas got a squinty face/ And I don’t care if Spike cries/but I’m gonna have to beat you, guy🎼
He keeps dancing and strutting his way to the limo but starts to slow up a bit as he tries to think of what came next.
🎼Something or another and twice with your mother/ I don’t care/ I’m winning the Crown🎼
🎼here’s another part but I’m going off the charts/ Cuz I’m on roll/ you can’t stop me now🎼
He stops to do the trademark Beegees dance, thrusting the End of Days Briefcase into the air.
🎼Ah ha ha ha Winnin’the Crown/ Winnin’ the Crown/ Ah ha ha hA🎼
Steve takes a moment to plug one ear to better listen to his pitch.
🎼WINNIN THE CROOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWYOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWYOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWYOWNNNNN🎼
He starts dancing with all his gold and accolades.
“Stoop Doo boo winnin the crown. Doo scoop Doo Doo winnin the crown.”
Steve is still dancing around when suddenly he seems to notice the camera that he’s been dancing for and making sexy faces at.
“Oh hey! Heh heh, didn’t notice you there. Sometimes I’ve been known to break out into totally impromptu song and dance numbers right off the top of my head. We like to have fun on TAROSA! Y’all should know this by now!”
Steve then finally climbs into the limo with all his titles and the driver sighs and closes the door.
Driver Mcroadsmen
Professional and highly regarded apple salesmen. And part time limo driver.
“He practiced that sixteen times. Trust me there would have been fireworks but he ran out of them on take ten.”
We fade into the back of the limo. Steve Awesome is all stretched out and living the good life. His titles are laid out next to him. His End of Days case was secure so that he could gaze at it fondly from his seat. He had ice cold water from a dispenser. All types of snacks and munchies at the ready. He had access to music and television. He had it all.
But for some reason he was looking out the window. Watching the trees on the side of the road go flying by. He just couldn’t help but smile.
“Soooo, after that amazingly performed and totally improv song and dance number you caught me doing earlier, would it be too much to start off by saying “I am pretty stoked I won End of Days?”
He nods his head.
“I mean I get it, winning the case is only eighty percent of the battle. All that’s left is winning that XCrown Championship. Something that I still want to do very very badly. But man…”
He reaches out and pats that briefcase.
“….It still feels pretty damn good to have this. You know, it’s something they can’t take away. Anyone can win a title but these tournaments come once a year and a lot sign up and only one can win. And that’s me baby.” AND ELIZA DRESDEN WAS THE ONE THAT COUNTED THE PIN!
He thrusts his groin upward.
“SHWING!!!”
He nods his head in delight.
“Awhhh yeah. Im on cloud nine. And that’s great because when you first come back to this company even after winning the XCrown once before, people just roll their eyes at your past accomplishments or maybe they will patronize you a little but all in all you know they don’t really care. But now I’m in a club a lot of people wish they were in. Whenever you look back on End of Days twenty twenty one it’s ALWAYS going to say The Face of the Franchise Steve Awesome. And you can’t deny that.”
He takes a deep breath and takes it in for a minute.
“And that’s relevant because after a few hiccups in J-Rock and trying get nCw back off the ground, when I first landed in an actual company, I claimed that I was going to rise to the top of this network and show the world exactly what Steve Awesome can do. And look at me now. I’m sitting pretty damn close to the top already.”
He looks into the camera and holds a lone finger.
“I just got one more floor to go…”
He throws both his arms behind him to support his head and lets out a relaxed sigh.
“….then I’ll be living big in the XHF penthouse suite. It has barbed wire and dried blood in it but it’s got charm.”
He shrugs.
“And I just wonder, Dakota, Spike, how the hell are you gonna do it?”
He shakes his head in bewilderment.
“How in the hell are you going to stop this run I’m on? I mean while I’ve been out here crushing skulls, Spike has been sitting around in the Bang Bros locker room feeding his weird raccoon and turtle friends. Oh and Dakota was the one that ruined her chances for her swoopy haired boyfriend in the tag team annihilator.”
He sighs and rolls his eyes behind his sunglasses.
“So of course, the only smart thing she could figure out to do is figure out a way to wedge herself into MY XCrown Title match because she’s just so god damn desperate to lose two chances at titles twice in the same month.”
He sneers.
“Like, excuse you, adults are trying to talk here!”
He says, almost offended that she was in the match.
“Excuse me for being kind of pissed off here, Dakota, I’m sure you’re a nice lady, but I just went through four tough opponents for a singles match. One on one. Mano y Mano!”
He sits up and yells at the camera. Slicing his hands through the air.
“NO WOMANO!”
He holds his finger up.
“And before anyone says I’m misogynistic, I don’t even know how to really give massages. I just say I do to get Zelda into the mood. Im just saying you could have waited until afterward. You could have cashed in your….I don’t know what it was, your little magic ginger handbag, any time. You could have just let Spike and I have our super badass main event that we always have and I would have totally beat you in my next defense.”
He smirks.
“In fact I’d love to pin you in front of your boyfriend “Cross”
He chuckles at the name.
“While his brother “Angry” watches in the stands.”
Steve slaps his knee and laughs at his own joke.
“Oh man, I sleigh me sometimes.”
He wipes a tear away from under his lens.
“I mean, are you sure you really want to third wheel yourself into this thing, sweet heart? You know Hot Cross Buncoba isn’t going to be there to hold your hand. You have to hold your own against the God of Xtreme and The Face of the Franchise. You couldn’t even handle bloated uncle fester and his bat goth girlfriend.”
Steve shakes his head.
“You are stepping in where you don’t belong, Dakota Jennings. You are stepping in my way of MY XCrown shot. And after all I’ve gone through to get to this point, I will not hesitate to rip a cross off the wall and bash your stupid head in until every one of those ginger freckles have been exorcised back to Hell where they belong.”
He shifts to his other side.
“Then there is Spike.”
Steve waves.
“Sup buddy…”
“Now I know we both decided at Fireside Trial by Fire that we were going to leave everything inside the ring. And I still abide by that. After the match when you lose you’ll bestow the championship to me and we will hug because we both know that we were just in a war.”
Steve sighs and then says something really fast.
“Andifiloseilldothesame”
He clears his throat.
“Nothing is going to stop the Bang Bros, baby! Not even our collective egos! We are here to stay and Caffrey sucks!”
He gives a quick crotch chop and continues.
“But I have to come at you a little differently. See out of all the matches I’ve had all year. For every title I won. Every tournament that I won, Spike you were the only person this whole year that has beat me one on one.”
He shakes his head. There may be one or two more but they dont work here anymore so fuck'em.
“And of course, you are the champion I face.”
He waved his hand over his titles and the briefcase.
“I can rub this in the face of every other person on the roster. I’m sure you get how important it is, but it won’t sway you like the others because you have put me down before.”
He sighs.
“I like to ponder my mistakes, Spike. And I’ve thought about the one I made against you in the Overheated tournament an awful lot.”
He points to himself. His voice goes low.
“I acted bitter. I acted stupid. I threatened you with your own murder weapon.”
He shakes his head, laughing a bit under his breath.
“As if I could actually kill you bro…”
He makes a heart with his fingers and blows a kiss.
“But I said all that stuff because of how bad I wanted to become the XCrown champion. I said all that stuff because I wanted you and everyone else to believe how bad I wanted that title.”
He runs a palm through his hair.
“But I came at you all wrong back then, Spike. But I think I figured out the right way. I still want your title. And I’ll still do what I have to take it. I know you wouldnt have that any other way. Were going to go to war and were going to leave it all in the ring, that much is for sure…”
He pauses.
“But let me tell you exactly what it is I'm bringing to the ring with me to leave, brother…”
He cracks his knuckles.
“Instead of a killer instinct in my words, Ive found it in my actions. Ive been taking people down left and right, Spike. And I didnt think I would. To be honest with you, I put up my End of Days audition kind of as a gag to make everyone laugh. But then I got in and the more I advanced, the more I beat people, the more I felt the power. The rush.”
He squeezes his fists in front of him and tenses his forearms.
“This must be what The God of Xtreme feels like eh? The power. The control. It's like you feel like you can't be stopped. Spike, at this point, I feel like nothing is going to stop me from winning that XCrown Title. I feel like Ive tapped into a gear I haven't been in for a long time. The same one that used to smack you around back in the day. I don't care what type of biblical weapon I have to use on you, but when it comes to me and winning that XCrown Title I’ll use them all.”
“Because this time, i'm coming to the ring with confidence. I’m coming to that ring, believing in myself more than I ever have before. And I know thats a shock. And most importantly, I’m coming to win the Xcrown Championship. And I will leave everything inside that Ring, Spike. And that includes your limp body."
He shrugs and then follows up with a smirk.
“Dakota, Spike…..I know you think you have what it takes....
He smirks.
“But to put it simply....I dont think your ready for this jelly.
He crotch chops.
“Suck it.”
In the distance you can see a Dennys sign and Steve can see it in the window.
“Ah yes, the whole point of this episode. I have to do one last Dennys Grand Opening. Kind of odd to have to do after I thought I was done, but whatever. I cant wait to see my adoring public chanting my name.”
He eagerly stares out the window and is suddenly surprised to find the parking lot was barren. In fact even the building itself looked pretty run down. Certainly not fit for a grand opening. The limo pulls in and comes to a stop and shortly Steve comes stepping out without his hardware, just his fancy black dress shirt.
“What the hell is this? Some kind of joke from Agnes?”
He notices a spray painted piece of plywood that said “Enter Here” and it pointed to a make shift door. Steve quickly walks in.
“Hello!? I’m uh…..here for the grand opening?
Steve walks past a lot of construction problems as he looks around. Dripping water. Peeling paint. White paint and rollers set up near another wall. Sparking wires. And it smelled. It was definitely a fixer-upper. Steve walked a few steps further and he found one specific table set up with candles and flowers.
“What the?”
“Sit my dahling.”
Steve looks over to see Esmeralda Von Krausse appear from out of the shadows and he immediately facepalms. Steve glances around and notices anything that looks like exits are being blocked by EVK’s humorous henchmen.
“God damn it.”
“I’d enjoy myself, dahling. The boys are armed.”
Steve looks over and of course they have weapons. Steve just sighs and sits at the fancy table.
“I can't believe I'm being taken on a date beyond my will.”
EVK takes the seat across from him. She was wearing a long black dress with a white stripe down the back of it.
“Is it really that bad?”
Steve nods and glares at her.
“Yes. Because I don't want to be on a date with you. Not only do you smell like a trailer park, you messed things up with me and Zelda. And now instead of me trying to get that fixed and figured out, you have me on a bogus Grand Opening so you can try to date me? Why can't you see that I want nothing to do with you?”
EVK takes a puff from her cigarette.
“I told you before there is no choice for you, Steven. I always get what I want.”
“Yeah well….”
He stops and realizes something is amidst down below the table.
“Hey! Stop touching that with your foot!”
Steve slides back from the table.
“You cannot resist me for long, dahling. You are trapped in here with me. My plan worked perfectly. Now make your choice….”
EVK holds up a rope or a tiny syringe with an unknown liquid.
“How do you want this to go?”
Steve backs up more.
“Um...niether. I’m just going to bank on something extremely lucky that is going to happen really quick to save me.”
EVK rolls her eyes.
“Foolish.”
She throws the rope to the side.
“Then I’ll choose for you.”
She comes at him with the syringe and Steve dodges.
“Really hoping for that lucky thing to happen….”
She lunges the syringe at his neck and he fights to hold her back.
“Any minute….”
All of a sudden a huge crash is heard outside! Everyone stops to look and see what happened when a large group of people start funneling into the Dennys and kind of trampling the henchmen in the process. A bus driver comes forward.
“I uh drive the bus for the Bulldogs Club Pub Crawl. And well I kinda sorta drove the bus into the limo outside. Thats what I get for having a couple sip-skies at the other pubs. I was wondering if you wanted to exchange information?”
The bus driver looks up to see EVK still trying to jab the syringe in Steve’s neck and Steve trying to fight her off. They both stop and look at the bus driver.
“Oh uh….am I interrupting something?”
“No.”
Steve uses the opportunity to get out from underneath EVK and knock her to the floor. Esmeralda gets up to give chase but Steve weaves through the pub crawlers, dodging the sparking wires and ducked under the white paint station. A long white stripe forms down the back of his plain black shirt and it drips a little as he dips out the door.
EVK stands in her black dress with her own long white stripe down the back. She takes a puff of her cigarette.
“Ne t'inquiète pas. Je te trouverai mon amour.”
The camera men scramble to give chase as the scene fades.