NLW Ascendancy XXV | Saturday, November 13th, 2021 | LIVE

[Kris]

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Next Level Wrestling Presents




ASCENDENCY XXV

LIVE from the Lakefront Arena in New Orleans, Louisiana

November 13th, 2021

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The opening video for tonight’s NLW show starts to fade as all the fans in the New Orleans Lakefront Arena start to cheer as the cameras get a crowd shot with various fans holding up signs that say things like “Did Eli Bang Eddie?”, “I Was In An Al Jabroni Film”, “We <3 Chris Sanderson”, and “Academy Stan”. The cameras eventually park themselves on the commentary team of Dan Simmons and Tommy West.

Dan Simmons: Good evening, everyone! Welcome again to NLW Ascendency! My name is Dan Simmons with the best broadcast partner around, Tommy West! And what an action packed show we have tonight, two weeks from NLW Homecoming!

Tommy West: Right you are, Dan! Our main event is going to see who will face Thespian at Homecoming as Chris Sanderson faces off against Devin Mitchell.

Dan Simmons: We also have the former Junior Heavyweight Champion Bloodied Fox looking to get back to his winning ways against Keahi Sparks. And contrary to his comments, we are told CJ Walker will still be facing off with Tommy Kelly tonight.

Tommy West: Nathan Cage is going to face Riley Richards but first, we have one heck of a match to kick off the night as Sexton Love takes on Al Jabroni...hang on, I'm getting word that Kelly Ross is trying to get a word with BB Gunn! 

We cut suddenly backstage, Kelly Ross is walking alongside General Manager BB Gunn. Gunn looks flustered already despite the show barely even beginning.

Kelly Ross: BB Gunn, sir, can I just ask you about all that’s going on right now?

Gunn stops and stares daggers at Ross.

BB Gunn: All that’s going on right now, Kelly? You mean like how people keep getting taken out with a lead pipe? Or how our Heavyweight Champion can seemingly force a street fight despite my strict instructions not to? Or how despite me telling them no, Tommy Kelly and Nathan Cage continue to demand a match against each other?

Kelly Ross: Well…yes, yes please.

Gunn sighs aggressively.

BB Gunn: Kelly, I hear what people are saying, that I have no control over what’s going on here, and that the inmates are running the asylum. Sure, I probably could have run this place a little far stricter, but I wanted to give the Next Level Wrestling superstars a fair opportunity to prove themselves on their own. Sadly a few of them are taking it too far, and don’t worry…I’ll deal with them.

Gunn walks away from her and towards his office.

Kelly Ross: But…how?

BB Gunn: You’ll soon see!

He smiles as he approaches his office door, which he opens to find somebody sitting there…Rob Arnold! Arnold smirks as Gunn is clearly taken aback.

Rob Arnold: There he is! Come on in BB, take a seat!

BB Gunn: Uhhh, Rob, you're here...and not in Atlanta.

Rob Arnold: I know! Great isn't it? Judge Mills Lane did me a huge favour and allowed me to come back here until the Christmas edition of The GUN Show, you lucky duck! 

BB Gunn: Okay, but why are you here?

Arnold's eyes narrow.

Rob Arnold: I’ll be asking the questions, old friend. Now come on in, and close the door behind you. Don’t make me ask again.

Arnold’s crisp tone seems to cut straight through the General Manager and he very promptly does as he’s told, and we head back to ringside.

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MATCH ONE
Al Jabroni vs Sexton Love

To say that Al Jabroni is chomping at the bit for the match to begin is a massive understatement, the smaller man pacing back and forth in his corner like a caged tiger--a somewhat scrawny tiger, but a tiger nevertheless. In sharp contrast, Sexton Love is practically ignoring Your Parent's Favorite Ham and Egger, apparently having written Jabroni off entirely. This is something Al takes great offense to, an insult about Sexton's mother being hurled across the ring right before the bell rings. It quickly becomes clear that Jabroni shouldn't have brought Bodzilla's mother into it since the far larger man is quick to take control, collaring Jabroni before hurling him back-first into the nearest turnbuckle. Al eats a few uppercuts to the mush before the Notorious B.O.D. wraps his arms around Jabroni's waist, a Body-to-Belly Suplex evicting the smaller man from the corner in rather painful fashion. The crowd jeers loudly as Al bounces from the impact, landing in a tangle of limbs in the middle of the ring. Running his mouth about how Al will never be a third of the man that he is, Tyrannosaurus Sex saunters over to continue his onslaught--but when he leans down to attempt to drag Jabroni to his feet, Al is catching his foe by surprise by suddenly coming to life and darting behind his opponent, his attempt to Get Lucky with a Schoolboy Roll-Up coming dangerously close to the three before Love just barely manages to kick out!

Incensed at how close he came to losing to someone he views as being less of a man than himself, the Sexcellence of Sexecution tries to go for Jabroni again in the name of continuing his offensive, but the smaller man gives Sexton a surprisingly stiff punch, following it up with an eye poke that is reminiscent of the Three Stooges, Love letting out a bellow of pain as he stops dead in his tracks. Al presses his advantage with a series of Windmill Punches that he uses to drive Bodzilla back, Lucky Punches coming through for the Des Moines, Iowa native to the jubilation of the crowd! One Irish Whip later and Jabroni goes for a clothesline, but when Bodzilla collides with Al's arm? Sexton just... stands there, looking down at his opponent with a scowl. Before Jabroni can abscond out of harm's way, Love is kicking him in the gut, easily hoisting Your Parent's Favorite Ham and Egger up into a vertical suplex that Sexton holds for a good long while, doing a few squats to show off before completing the maneuver and sticking the landing for the pin. Jabroni kicks out at two and a half, much to the relief of the fans.

By now, Sexton's desire to beat Al Jabroni has transformed into wanting to punish the smaller man for his audacity--and that's a goal that Bodzilla acts on immediately. Getting behind Jabroni, Love wraps his arms around Al's waist before charging forward, slamming Al into the turnbuckle chest-first before immediately rolling back, the Sex Plex connecting with enough force to make the ring shake. Bridging the landing, the referee gets to a hair away from three before Jabroni kicks out, the fans cheering the show of heart while Love snarls in disbelief. Bodily dragging Jabroni back to a vertical base, the Man Of A Thousand Hoes connects with a high-angle back suplex, going for the pinfall again--and again, Al kicks out. Frustration is writ large upon Love as he curses out the referee for counting slowly, getting to his feet and right in the official's face. That closeness winds up being the opportunity Jabroni needs as he sneaks up behind Love, measuring the loud-mouthed Tyrannosaurus Sex up before he's going to the well again... but rather than it being a mistake, that Schoolboy Roll-up with Al's arm maybe, just maybe connecting with the family jewels of his opponent proves to be successful, Jabroni Getting Lucky and getting the three! As soon as the win is secured, Al is beating a hasty retreat, celebrating up the ramp as Sexton Love seethes in the ring!

[WINNER: Al Jabroni Via Get Lucky at 07:02]

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We cut to a shot of an elevator. A ska version of “Your Song” by Elton John plays in the background.

The crowd pop as The Crinkly Bottom Boys come into shot. Blobby stands stoically with a belt over his shoulder, staring into the camera. To his left, Noel Edmonds is busy chatting up a woman. The title belt is proudly being proffered towards her with every point.

Noel Edmonds: You see, we’re a big deal...I’M a big deal, have been for almost all my life. I’d be doing YOU a favor taking you out. Imagine if we got married...think about the pre-nup I’d have to draw up!

The woman looks mortally offended.

Woman: A pre-nup? Even if I wanted to marry you, I couldn’t! I’m already married, it’d be bigamy!

Edmonds looks mortally offended.

Noel Edmonds: Big of you? I think it’d be awfully big of me!

The woman slaps him with the force of a thousand wronged Eli Dresden’s as the elevator pings and she swiftly exits.

Noel Edmonds: Blob, the proles just don’t appreciate greatne…

Edmonds trails off as Nathan Cage enters the elevator. Noel nervously nods at him and engages his mouth before brain.

Noel Edmonds: CAGE! LOOK! YOU DID THIS!!

Edmonds pats the belt. Cage’s facial expression remains unmoved.

Noel Edmonds: You see, it’s a shame though...if only you’d motivated yourself like you did Blobby and I those weeks ago. Got off your backside and pushed yourself to greatness, like we did. You log onto the website now and whose picture do you see in the Champions section? That’s right...ours!

Cage’s off-kilter expression remains.

Noel Edmonds: Even if we lose these belts, you can’t cross out our names from the winners of the Tag Team Annihilator Tournament, can you?

Cage says nothing.

Noel Edmonds: NO! YOU CAN’T! And you know why, Big Man?

With each word he pokes Cage in the chest.

We cut to a shot outside the elevator. The elevator starts to rock and anguished screams exit from it.

The elevator opens and Blobby and Cage have a beer in hand as they walk out silently. They clink the bottles and go in opposite directions. Edmonds is left on his backside in the elevator, bruised and bloodied.

Noel Edmonds: We’re part of history….HISTORY!!!

...the camera cuts away.

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MATCH TWO
Tommy Kelly vs CJ Walker

It’s fair to say that Tommy Kelly has seen a lot in his life, he’s also seen all shapes and sizes in this business. So whilst some may find the six foot nine CJ Walker daunting, Deathless did not. In fact he seemed to enjoy the idea of chopping a big guy down. He stood in the opposite corner with a beaming smile on his face, even going so far to tell Walker that he was “quite the big fucker”. Walker was less than impressed, he was the best big man in the business, or at least that is what he believed, and he wasn’t here to sign autographs and have tickle fights. He barely waited for the bell to ring, clearly not one for restrictions he marched toward Kelly and locked up with the former NLW Heavyweight Champion. He used his size and power to back him into the corner where the referee ordered a break. The Vengeful One gave the break, but not before slapping his huge hand on Tommy Kelly’s chest which echoed around the arena. Kelly didn’t take too kindly to this and responded by coming after Walker with a combination of straight rights, chops, and European Uppercuts which caught Walker unawares and backed him to the centre of the ring. Kelly then took to the ropes and put a dropkick into Walker’s knee, which brought the big man to one knee, Kelly was quick to keep the offence going and got back up to charge and hit a superman punch. This put Walker on the mat and he made an early cover, Walker powered out barely after a one count.

Kelly didn’t worry, he’s played this game enough before. Walker got back to his tree-like base and met Kelly, who wanted to go for another right hand, he blocked the punch and staggered him with a big headbutt. Walker looked for a spinning lariat, but the man known as StormCrow ducked, took to the ropes again and came at him with a cross body….but Walker caught him and hit a fall away slam.

Truth be told, it didn’t look like this was for Walker, and that he didn’t want to be here, and to that end he wanted this match over quickly. The crowd could feel this negative energy and gave it right back to him. Walker ignored them though and stalked Tommy Kelly, who was getting back to his feet. He goozled Kelly when he approached him, looking for a chokeslam, but Kelly’s self preservation was quick to kick in, and he booted Walker in the gut, and with an impressive show of strength he flipped him to the mat with a cross body neck toss into a grounded chokehold, what he calls RedRum, Walker, in the middle of the ring and nowhere to go starts tapping and this one is over!

[WINNER: Tommy Kelly Via RedRum at 04:11]

As Kelly is celebrating his win, there’s a sudden commotion coming from the entrance and heading down the ramp.

Dan Simmons: Look out folks, I can’t say I’m surprised to see this!

Simmons is referring to the fact that Nathan Cage is out and he wants some of Tommy Kelly once again. The Crinkly Bottom Boys, Noel Edmonds and Mr Blobby are on his heels however, and they are trying to talk Cage down from his frenzy.

Noel Edmonds: Come on Cage, let’s head back and try and get some more strange!

Cage isn’t listening and is snarling at Deathless.

Noel Edmonds: Blobby! Do you have a spare dib-dab? That may calm him down…or make him worse, but I’ll try anything!

Mr. Blobby: Blobby blob!

Blobby has no spare dib-dabs, at least none he’s willing to part with right now. He is trying to do his best to hold Cage back, but Cage is still after a fight. Kelly watches on, willing Cage on, inviting him to the ring, he’s not going to back down. As this has gone on, CJ Walker has rolled out of the ring…right into Cage’s path. Cage takes a moment to stare at the behemoth, but Blobby stands in his way, seemingly wanting to diffuse the situation as well. He turns to Walker to allow him passage back up the ramp, but Walker scoffs and pie faces the pink and yellow giant. This doesn’t go down well with the crowd, and even less so with one half of the XHF Tag Team Champions. He comes up behind Walker and hits him with Blobby! #1 [One winged angel] on the ramp!

Cage finds this hilarious…he also sees opportunity to cause more trouble. He walks to the ring steps and pulls them off aggressively, maintaining eye contact with Tommy Kelly who has stood in the ring as a bystander to this madness. Cage yells at Deathless that he’ll see him real soon, before turning around, taking the steps to Walker and slamming them not once, not twice, not even three times, but five times on the giant’s ankle! It would be a sixth but again Edmonds and Blobby stop him, and begin to drag him up the ramp. Cage screams at a nearby camera as he’s led away…

Nathan Cage: Let me fight this old bastard, BB Gunn, or I’ll run through every prick in this joint till it’s only the two of us left! This won’t be the last, this won’t be the- get your rubbery hands off me, HEY!

Dan Simmons: …Cage is…

Tommy West: Awesome.

Dan Simmons: …Insane. Insane was the word I was looking for partner. And the longer BB Gunn keeps him and Tommy Kelly apart, the more I fear it’ll get worse. As for CJ Walker…we need to get some help out here…commercial break? Thanks goodness for that…

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The dizzying sights of New Orleans nightlife are accompanied by the sultry sounds of an appropriately smooth jazz melody. We see a group of lavishly dressed women dancing on top of a bar, seductively stirring their colorful drinks, and blowing kisses at the camera.

Enticing Female Voice: ...Live from the Big Easy...

City streets. Flashing lights.

Enticing Female Voice: ...the hottest show on television today...

A cheap title graphic appears on the screen.

Enticing Female Voice: The Sex Talk with Sexton Love...

We fade into the Lakefront Arena and see that the ring has been arranged into a shoddy late night talk show set. A pink shag rug covers the entirety of the canvas, with a tacky zebra print sofa on the left hand side of the ring, and a flimsy wooden desk to the right.

Enticing Female Voice (V.O): And now... here's your host... SEXTON LOVE!

The pumped in audio of women ooo-ing and ahh-ing is drowned out by a chorus of boos from the live audience. Leaning back in a chair, legs resting on top of the desk, a man in white suit jacket and short shorts strokes his ample moustache. The sweat from his match earlier in the night is still glistening on his needlessly exposed chest, somehow shining even brighter than the sleazy gold chains around his neck.

He gets up and takes the microphone.

Sexton Love: ...The Sexcellence of Sexecution can do it ALLLLLLL, babbeh.

Based on their reaction, it's clear the fans disagree.

Sexton Love: From winning matches and grabbin snatches... to hostin' shows and bangin' hoes! That's right, daddeh! Welcome to the HOTTEST show on television today... THE SEX TALK!
I am your host with the ABSOLUTE most... Sexton Love. And right off the top, I wanna give a quick shout out to my man on the horn. Put your hands together for the jazz master, babbeh... SAXton Love!

He points to a saxophone player outside the ring, slowly gyrating his hips as he performs the same monotonous tune from the intro. The Sax Man climbs up the steps, taking the spotlight for a moment.

"BOOOOOOOOOOO."

Sexton Love: Shut your damn mouths! That man is a musical savant!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

Sexton Love: ...You know I always heard that Louisiana was famous for crabs... but I thought they were talkin' about SEAFOOD, daddeh!

The New Orleans crowd is incensed. Sexton is forced to pause for a moment as the anger plays itself out. He smirks and nods his head, basking in the cascade of boos.

Sexton Love: Now allow me to introduce my first guest--

The jeers from the fans ramp up again as soon as Big Daddy Love tries to speak.

Sexton Love: --The first EVER guest on The Sex Talk... a former NLW Champion... and one SEXY missy... ooooh yeah... ladies and gentlemen, Miss ELI DRESDEN!

He dramatically points to the top of the ramp as the Sax Man launches into a one horn version of the opening riff in "Untouchable," Eli Dresden's theme song--and about two seconds later, her entrance music hits properly, drowning out the musician and earning raucous cheers. Emerging from behind the curtain, the blonde is as energetic as always as she makes her way down the ramp, slapping hands and pointedly ignoring the glare from the Sax Man even as she slides into the ring. Popping up to her feet, the actual music fades as Eli eyes Sexton Love, clearly already suspicious.

Sexton Love: You're lookin' finer than a toothed comb, babbeh. Why don't you sit your pretty little self down...

The host takes a moment to check Eli out, offering her a place on the couch before continuing. Eli does join him, but she makes a point of sitting on the opposite end.

Sexton Love: First things first, I've gotta ask ya. It's been six weeks, babbeh... six LONG weeks since you've appeared in a Next Level Wrestling ring. So how does it feel to be back out here... in front of all these ragin' cajun sweathogs?

Eli Dresden: Now that's no way to talk about the fans--not when there's only one pig present.

And judging by the pointed look Dresden gives Love, it's obvious just who she's talking about.

Naturally, Big Daddy Love misses the implication.

Sexton Love: That's right, babbeh... the sausage is in the building. I know you like that honeh mustard.

A saxophone slide whistle punctuates the line.

Sexton Love: You've been real busy outside of NLW... believe me I was watchin'. The whole damn WORLD was watchin' at End of Days, when you took on Adrien COCHrane in that Interpromotional Ladder Match, babbeh. Falling off ladders... getting busted wide open... you put it ALL on the line. You put that sweet, SWEET boddeh on the line. And for what? For the pride of NLW? For that rat bastard Eddie Walker? What really motivated you to keep gettin' up?

Dresden quirks a brow, clearly taking offense at Eddie Walker being called a rat bastard... by an ACTUAL rat bastard. Rather than frown, though, that infamous smirk tugs at her lips. The crowd cheers at the sight of it, they know that Sexton Love is in danger.

Eli Dresden: I'm motivated by all the sweet, sweet things Eddie Walker DID to my body last night. The very same things you imagine each and every time you rename your hand when you jerk off... because we all know that the only IMAGINARY women would want anything to do with that popcorn shrimp you call a dick.

The crowd erupts. The wall of noise steadily turns into a growing chant of "Popcorn shrimp! Popcorn shrimp!" Eli points her mic in the direction of the fans, egging them on.

Sexton Love: Woah, woah, woah, just calm down for a minute, toots. No need to get hysterical. This is a family program, babbeh--

"POPCORN SHRIMP! POPCORN SHRIMP!"

Sexton Love: --SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTHS!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

Sexton Love: I think you've got the wrong idea, missy. Make no mistake about it.. I am a ladies' man... but I'm a BUSINESSMAN first. So let's get down to it. The nitteh gritteh. The real reason I invited you out here, darlin'. That pretty face of yours... that's a moneymaker, babbeh... and I'd hate to see it all busted up like that heinous broad over there in the front row.

"FUCK YOU, SEXTON LOVE!"

Sexton Love: It's just not worth it. You shouldn't have a pathetic man like Eddie Walker in your corner... you should BE in the corner of a real man like Sexton Love. So here's my offer, babbeh, and it's a ONE TIME offer... step away from active competition. No more ladders, no more chairs, no more blood. You don't need to be in this ring, toots. Retire from active competition and become my manager. I've been saying it since I got here, babbeh... SEX SELLS. It's a fact of life. And you and I should be sellin' it together. So what do you say?

Silence from the blonde... but then she's doing the one thing every man who ever asks a woman out fears most. Namely? She laughs--no, she guffaws, almost doubling over as Sexton Love looks on, growing more and more red in the face. And when Eli does finally manage words, well...

Eli Dresden: Jesus Christ, and here I thought you couldn't sound any dumber. Why would I settle for your bargain basement bullshit when I've accomplished more in NLW than you ever will?

Dresden stands, her grin growing sharp.

Eli Dresden: Let me give you some advice on how this business actually works, Sugartits. You need to sell somethin' you actually have since we both know you're about as sexy as a mud fence post. Since the popcorn shrimp bit's caught on--

The fans start right back up with that chant, Eli gesturing as if to go 'See?' before she continues.

Eli Dresden: How about marketin' some cocktail sauce? I bet it'd sell like hot cakes!

As the fans roar at the roasting of Bodzilla, the man himself has clearly had enough of Eli's shenanigans. Before he can do anything more than charge to his feet, however, Eli heaves off, kicking Sexton Love square in the plums. The Lakefront Arena explodes, and Big Daddy Love goes down hard. He rolls to the outside of the ring, Eli giving him a good kick in the ribs for good measure. Still in pain, Sexton points at Eli and yells something about how she's made the worst decision of her career. The former NLW World Champion challenges him to step back into the squared circle... but it seems as though The Lovely One isn't feeling up to it. What Eli doesn't notice however, is Big Daddy Love's personal saxophone player sneaking into the ring behind her.

The Sax Man charges wildly, wielding his instrument as a weapon. Eli sidesteps the attack with ease at the last moment, then unloads a flurry of right hands on the hopelessly outmatched musician. He tries to cover up, but the fiery blonde takes the saxophone and smashes it across his back. Pieces fly everywhere as the horn is utterly destroyed, to say nothing for the man laid out at Eli's feet.

Sexton looks on in horror from the outside, eyes bulging out of their sockets and hands clutching his injured groin. Eli sprawls the lifeless musician across the wooden desk in the ring, then climbs up to the top rope as the fans start to buzz. She points at Big Daddy Love, clearly intending to send a final massage as she hits a spectacular moonsault onto the lifeless saxophone player, putting him through the desk!

The Host with the Most retreats up the ramp, his show completely ruined. Eli stands tall in the ring as the crowd begins to chant again...

"POPCORN SHRIMP! POPCORN SHRIMP! POPCORN SHRIMP!"

"Untouchable" hits the sound system, Sexton seething at the woman who has refused his advances in rather decisive fashion. Eli smirks from where she's standing, the camera cutting elsewhere soon after.

---

Next Level Wrestling Presents


HOMECOMING II

LIVE from the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans, Louisiana
Saturday, November 27th, 2021

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The cameras cut backstage to the parking lot of the Lakefront Arena as a Mercedes-Benz sits near one of the entries to the Arena. It appears to have about three occupants in the vehicle that the camera crew only sees as silhouettes from their angle. The driver turns to the person sitting in the backseat and begins speaking.

Voice: So this is how we’re going to play it. I’m going to go in first. Talk everyone up a little bit and get them a little excited. You go ahead and hop out a couple of minutes after me and wait by the curtain. You will know your cue when it’s time for you to come on out to the ring and I’ll let you talk for a little bit. Sound like a plan?

The second person simply nods their head. The driver then turns to the person in the passenger seat of the car.

Voice: Just go ahead and let our friend out and park this where we normally park when we come to the Lakefront. I appreciate you, Eddie.

Dan Simmons: Wait, Eddie?

Tommy West: That voice does not belong to Adam Sanders. That has to mean…

The door swings open and the driver is revealed: it’s New Orleans native and former X*Crown Champion Adrien Cochrane. The fans in the Lakefront Arena begin to cheer as the Dropkick King exits the car and immediately opens the double doors to enter the building.

Dan Simmons: I think Cochrane is heading this way! But who is in the car with them?

Tommy West: I mean, other than Eddie Walker, I have no idea. I’m guessing we aren’t talking about his wife, that’s for sure.

Cochrane keeps walking down the hallway as the camera follows him. He finishes off a bottle of water before tossing it into a recycling bin in the middle of the hallway before he approaches the curtain and waits for his music. The cameras now cut to ringside with the fans still cheering for their hometown favorite.

Tommy West: Well, I guess we are about to find out what he’s doing here.

Dan Simmons: Yes indeed. Here he comes!

The lights turn off for a moment. The dueling guitar riffs from Simple Plan guitarists Sébastien Lefebvre and Jeff Stinco from their song “Last One Standing” as the screen reads “#Believe” in a light blue font. With a solitary spotlight on the top of the ramp, Adrien Cochrane appears the moment Pierre Bouvier’s vocals begin to echo throughout the venue.

“How many times are you gonna try to shut me out?
I told you once, told you twice, I ain't going to turn back around
You can say whatever, try to mess with me
I don't care, I'm not scared
You don't have to say you're sorry, save your sympathy
With a friend like you, I don't need an enemy
I would give you time if you were worth it
But guess what, you're not worth it”

The Dropkick King gives a few respecting bows to a few fans on the way to the ring and even clearly says thank you to many of the fans who are cheering him on before rolling into the ring. Proudly donning his Guardians t-shirt, he is given a microphone from Marty Watts and waits for “Last One Standing” to fade before speaking to the cheering fans.

Dan Simmons: This is just a quick reminder that the last time Adrien has appeared in NLW, he defeated Dylan Black for the XHF X*Crown Championship.

Tommy West: Cochrane appearances are sporadic here but they are usually memorable.

Right before Adrien speaks, the cameras go back to Adrien’s Mercedes. The other occupant has already exited the vehicle, and the last thing it sees is Eddie Walker hopping in the driver’s seat to drive off. Cochrane smiles as he watches his car on the big screen keep his surprise hidden for the time being.

Adrien Cochrane: To my fellow New Orleanians, how are WE DOING TONIGHT?!

The fans give a loud cheer in response to his question as the smile widens on the Cajun Sensation.

Adrien Cochrane: We got that cold front starting to come in over here. It’s definitely gumbo weather coming this following week. We have crawfish season starting soon. We have Mardi Gras coming shortly after that and man, our New Orleans Saints are fighting through more injuries than I can keep track of and would still qualify for the NFL playoffs if the season ended right now. We are a strong city that has never backed down from anyone or anything. This is a city I am PROUD to call my home. And let me tell you something, New Orleans… this is my favorite place for me to make some more memories in the ring.

Every fan in the Lakefront Arena starts to gasp and the commentators can’t help but comment.

Dan Simmons: So he’s definitely here for a purpose.

Tommy West: I have no idea what yet though. Let’s see what he has up his sleeve.

Adrien Cochrane: See, awhile ago, me and NLW superstar Adam Sanders were in a handful of tag team matches. A few of them were in the 2020 AWF Fired Up tournament. We also got a big victory against the Graham Brothers at XHF Supremacy. But you see, we are registered in the XHF offices as the Guardians. But it’s more than just me and Adam that has that name. See, there’s several people who fight under that name. Actually, one of my previous Guardians from before I came to the XHF just signed her paperwork to start competing in FWA. I spoke with officials in how the rules work for tag teams and how it pertains to how you can challenge for the XHF Tag Team Championship.

More cheers, now that some semblance of Adrien’s purpose tonight is clear.

Dan Simmons: Well, it appears Adrien is about to challenge for the tag titles.

Tommy West: That’s fine and all, but who is he talking about partnering with?

Adrien Cochrane: See, anyone who is part of the Guardians can challenge with me under the freebird rules. So I had some options. I could work with my sister-in-law Jessica Matthews who just unretired from active competition to fight. I could pick my student here in NLW in Adam Sanders. I could call on a man who I fought for many championships in Johnny Maverick. I could even call up my former FWA boss, Solomon Graham. But I decided to go a different direction. Because there is someone who I’ve known longer than all of them…

Dan Simmons: Wait, what?!

Tommy West: I thought for sure that he would have picked Adam Sanders.

Adrien Cochrane: Don’t get me wrong, if we are successful, all of these people will have a share of the championship. If we are successful, various combinations of Guardians will be defending it. But to win it, I wanted to call in the biggest gun I figured I could call. I called on someone who is TEARING through anyone who has stood in their way. I want to ride the hot hand. So I chose the newest Guardian. I chose the person who not only took down MAJESTY but held them off in a rematch.

Dan Simmons: Wait…!

Tommy West: Uh oh.

Adrien Cochrane: I wanted to grab someone who is at the top of her game right now. So may I publicly announce my newest Guardian… one of my oldest and dearest friends in this industry… the World Heavyweight Champion of FIRESIDE. Please welcome to this ring right now… NATALIE BURROWS!!

‘Breathe Again’ by Pop Evil hits the sound system… and the fans hit their feet with cheers, cheers that only get louder as the Southern Belle herself comes out from behind the curtain. Natalie Burrows has the FIRESIDE World Championship around her waist, leaving her hands free to slap the hands of the fans as she makes her way to the ring. Adrien holds the ropes open for his fellow Guardian to step into the ring, the pair hugging one another briefly in greeting.

Dan Simmons: Oh my God! FIRESIDE’s World Champion is here in NLW!

Tommy West: Natalie may be one of the most polite people you’ll ever meet, but she’s an absolute beast once the bell rings!

There’s a bit of an exchange between Burrows and Cochrane before the Cajun Sensation hands the mic over to the Southern Belle.

Natalie Burrows: Good evening, NLW. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance!

The crowd cheers in response to the blond’s greeting, her smile growing all the warmer as she nods in thanks.

Natalie Burrows: Goodness, such a warm welcome--I can see where you get that welcoming nature of yours, Adrien!

Adrien grins widely before nodding his head and mouthing the words “Southern Hospitality” to his longtime friend. Natalie laughs before she continues.

Natalie Burrows: But for all that I want to simply show my appreciation for that, the fact remains that we’ve got serious business to address even if, on the surface, the Crinkly Bottom Boys appear to be… well, a little silly, I suppose you could say. Even if they came out of End of Days with the XHF Tag Team Championships, it could be easy to take them at face value.I know full well that appearances can be deceiving--Bless, how many times have my opponents overlooked me because I mind my manners?

Natalie turns her gaze to one of the cameras, addressing it directly.

Natalie Burrows: Pleases and thank yous don’t make my kicks sting any less, I assure you. They never have, and they never will.

Dan Simmons: They sure don’t!

Tommy West: And she’s proven that time and time again!

The Southern Belle nods, satisfied in getting that point across before she moves on.

Natalie Burrows: Anyway, Mister Edmonds and Mister Blobby will soon find that out for themselves first hand when Adrien and I square off against them… but I reckon that leaves one important question to ask. When will we be making that challenge?

Burrows hands the microphone to the Original Guardian for him to answer.

Adrien Cochrane: I figure with a show called Homecoming, it would be fitting for one of the natives stepping into the ring to compete. So the Guardians will officially cash in the points we have accumulated to challenge the Crinkly Bottom Boys at NLW Homecoming for the XHF Tag Team Championship!!

The crowd loudly cheers Adrien’s announcement, the Southern Belle nodding in agreement before taking the offered mic from the man who will be her partner at Homecoming.

Natalie Burrows: The challenge ahead of us is clear. Will the Crinkly Bottom Boys be able to hold us off? There’s only one way to find out… but if I were you? I’d #BELIEVE in the Guardians.

Natalie Burrows drops the microphone before “War” by Sum 41 starts to play on the PA speakers instead of either of their individual themes. The duo roll out of the ring before making their way back up the ramp.

Dan Simmons: Incredible! The Crinkly Bottom Boys have one tough first test as XHF Tag Team Champions.

Tommy West: A current World Champion and former X*Crown Champion… yeah, not an easy task for them. All the more reason to see what happens in two weeks at NLW Homecoming II!!

---

MATCH THREE
Bloodied Fox vs Keahi Sparks

Both competitors get some cheers as they start to make their way down the ring. Keahi Sparks gives Bloodied Fox a chance to shake hands before the match, but Fox doesn’t seem too interested and shakes his head to decline it right as the bell rings. The fans grow unsteady from the unexpected snub from Bloodied Fox as the now-former XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion starts off the match with a belly to belly suplex. Sparks popped back up after that to run into a dropkick, which led to a two count for the former AWF Prestige Champion.

Sparks gives Fox some fight back after that near fall and tries to squeeze the fight out of Bloodied Fox as she traps him with a bearhug. It takes a little longer than Fox would have liked for him to get out of the move and drops Sparks with a jawbreaker. Sparks gets back to her feet and sees Fox charging, able to counter a clothesline into a spinebuster. Fox stumbles back to his feet and is slammed into the mat with a vertical suplex but still only a two count for the pin attempt. A back body drop from Sparks gives her the same result, still only two.

Fox takes control back in the match with a hurricanrana, holding Sparks’s legs to try to get the pin again, but still only a two. He mounts the Emerald Blade and delivers a bunch of palm strikes to try to show Sparks that the former Junior Heavyweight Champion can deliver some powerful strikes himself. After knocking Sparks with a question mark kick, he springs off the middle rope and lands the Air Vulpine (Springboard Frog Splash) but still only a two count for Bloodied Fox.

Bloodied Fox attempts a roundhouse head kick, but Sparks is able to duck the kick before delivering a european uppercut on the way back up. Keahi Sparks follows up with a haymaker and then a few knife edge chops sends Bloodied Fox into the corner, which was not advantageous for the Bloody Rainmaker. She drives her shoulder a few times into the midsection until told to stop. Keahi Sparks looks at all the New Orleans fans before throwing a furry of chops, haymakers, and finally ends the strike combination with a forearm smash. She lifts the Scar Vulp in the air in a gorilla press position and tosses him outside the ring. Fox crashes into the Lakefront Arena barricade. The referee starts the count out. Sparks hops out and throws Bloodied Fox into the barricade. Bloodied Fox fights back by sending Sparks into the ring steps. Once the countout got to seven, Fox rolls back into the ring. Sparks barely makes it back in at nine.

Bloodied Fox though, had an incredible advantage that Sparks had to roll into the ring when he had a second to set up his next attack, which ended up being Bloody Rain (Superman Palm Strike). Everyone in the building was expecting that to lead to a three count, but Sparks somehow got the shoulder up at two and three-quarters. It takes Fox a little longer to get back to his feet and tries to repeat the Air Vulpine strategy, but he hits nothing but mat after Keahi Sparks was able to roll out of the way just in time. When both competitors get back to their feet, it was Keahi Sparks’s turn to get a signature move executed on her opponent, specifically Din’s Fire (Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex). But the Legend of Zelda themed move is still not enough as Bloodied Fox is still able to get the shoulder up just in time.

Sparks attempts to lock in her finishing Ring of Judgment (SavoLock), but Bloodied Fox is able to counter it before it could be locked in into a small package, but Sparks still shows the resilience to keep the match going with a kickout. Bloodied Fox tries to get the victory again after a Fox Trap Suplex (Snap Dragon Suplex), but Sparks still keeps showing her fight. Fox is clearly getting frustrated and locks in Sparks’s head and arms to try to hit the B4 (Cutthroat Exploder), but Sparks is able to get a knee into his midsection. She has to use the knee again to get Fox to let go of the attempted finishing move. Keahi Sparks grabs the smaller Fox and lifts him up to drop with Lights in the Sky (Blue Thunder Bomb), and Fox kicks out but just a split second too late. The woman he called lazy was able to score a victory, one that might be considered quite an upset.

[WINNER: Keahi Sparks Via Lights in the Sky at 19:50]

---

We return to the ring where General Manager BB Gunn is stood with a desk, a contract and the brand new NLW Tag Team Titles sitting pride of place on said desk. He smiles, but it’s not quite the warm BB Gunn grin we’re used to, clearly the past few weeks have started to take it’s toll.

BB Gunn: Ladies and gents, in two weeks’ time we will be heading across town to The Smoothie King Center for our biggest show of the year, Homecoming II! And at our biggest show of the year we will be crowning our first ever tag champions. We’ve been whittling teams down week after week and now we have our final two. So who will be our first ever champions? Will it be The End? Or will it be The New South? We don’t have long to find out, but first, both teams will come face to face to sign the contract. So, let’s bring out the first team, they defeated The Tilted Cartridges and Sanders & Son…they are The End!

"Slow we go, slow we rise
Hold the course, the stormy isle."

Lights flash as singular bass note rings out.

"Dark aboard, batter my sails.
Waves are strong, clouds roll in."

A cold mist pours out onto the stage, and two shadowy figures make their way out.

"Steady on, Load your gun.
Steady on, End Will Come."

With the last line, the lights in the building flicker on revealing Mehrunes Smith and Scott Fargo stood on the stage. Mehrunes takes time to look around out at the crowd, as Fargo runs through various boxing combinations before rolling his shoulders and bouncing on the spot. Soon after, both men make their way down to the ring. Mehrunes Smith with a calm aura about him as he saunters toward the ring, whereas his partner, Scott Fargo, marches behind him full of intensity and purpose. Both men make their way into the ring, Fargo rolls straight in and bounces to his feet, as Mehrunes calmly walks up the steps and climbs in between the ropes. Both men regroup in the one corner.

BB Gunn: And they will be facing the team who impressively beat New Money and The Academy, please welcome The New South!

Much less elaborately, The New South head to the ring, accompanied by Jolene as always, Beau Traywick and Waylon Kirk look ready for business. They head into the ring and give a nod to BB Gunn before their music fades out. All four men stand in the ring staring their opponents down directly in the eyes. Jolene stands behind the two members of The New South, matching the intensity. Sensing perhaps it may be a bit much to ask them to stay here for too long without them fighting, Gunn breaks the tension.

BB Gunn: Okay! So let’s get this thing signed…who’d like to go first?

Tension hangs in the air as both teams wait to make their moves. With a nod of his head, Mehrunes signals Fargo to grab the contract from the table. Gunn backs up as Fargo approaches the table.

Mehrunes Smith: In moments like these, it pays to think more than it does to simply act. We've seen it a thousand times before. We'll see it a thousand times again after this night. We'll participate in this idiotic formality, we'll sign your little paper, we'll say "see you at the pay-per-view", then, we'll throw down. Right here. Right now.

The fans rises at the hint of the coming violence, Fargo scribbles his name on the dotted line, and hands it over to Mehrunes Smith.

Mehrunes Smith: But, before that happens, I, WE, have to thank you both. Unlike The Goons, you boys lived up to the hype. You made it. You are on the cusp of it. NLW's first "offical" tag team about to wrestle for the prize they've always wanted. But see, there's a problem with introducing championships into a company. A championship needs a division. And a division needs competition. Unfortunately for The Goons, the competition was too much, and they didn't even face a real tag team! But you guys? You guys are here. You made it. You're at The End. And for that? We thank you.

Mehrunes signs his names and tosses it back onto the desk.

Mehrunes Smith: Signed. Sealed. Delivered.

Kirk and Traywick glance at each other, Kirk grabs a microphone with a playful grin.

Waylon Kirk: I see what you did there, that's cute.

Waylon turns and winks at his fellow New South members.

Waylon Kirk: The End, right? Because this will all be over soon and that's your team name? Not overly clever but it's like when a character says the name of the movie in the movie and we all get a little pop? Look, we're not going to puff our chests out at you and claim we're going to steam roll you.

Beau Traywick: Oh hell no. You two wouldn't be standing across from us in this ring if this was going to be a cake walk. This is going to be an all out war. 

Beau signs the contract and slides it over to Waylon Kirk who also signs it. 

Waylon Kirk: Thing is, we don't mind going to war. 

The four men all are staring each other down, the only thing between them space & opportunity and the space is quickly fading.

Beau Traywick: You said this was going to just end in an all out brawl but the thing...

Both members of the New South shake their heads.

Waylon Kirk: We're trying to be better. Trying not to cause a ton of chaos for BB Gunn over here...

Rumbles of boos start to fade in from the crowd. 

Beau Traywick: That said, just want to apologize in advance Mr. Gunn.

All four men look to BB Gunn begins to protest, but he quickly backs off as Fargo pushes the table to one side. With that, The End and The New South go at it! All four men unload wild punches at each other, Traywick on Fargo and Kirk on Smith. Smith backs Kirk into the corner and put his boot into Kirk’s throat, pushing him against the turnbuckle and choking him. Meanwhile Fargo is trading each punch with Beau in a like for like manner, but he gets a bit tired and switches it up with a knee to the gut that downs Beau to one knee. He hauls him up and throws him over the top rope to the outside. He then marches over to Smith and nods towards the table. Smith nods at his tag partner and they drag Kirk, who is still gasping for air towards the table. Smith heads to the top rope, and Fargo places Kirk on the table, holding him in position so Smith could possibly hit the shooting star press.

Dan Simmons: I don’t think The End want The New South to get to Homecoming!

Smith sets himself, but Beau Traywick is back on the apron, and he pushes him off the turnbuckle, sending him crashing and burning to the floor outside the ring! Fargo sees what’s happening and lets go of Kirk, he turns to face Traywick but Beau comes back into the ring with a springboard dropkick, downing Scott Fargo! He checks on his partner who is has started to recover, and now it’s The New South’s turn to consider using the table to their advantage! They haul Fargo up and hit a double uranage slam into the table! The crowd go mad as Smith watches helplessly on the outside.

Tommy West: The New South may think they’ve got the better of The End here, but I wouldn’t wanna piss these guys off!

Fargo rolls out of the ring and is recovered by his partner and they back up the ramp, Jolene joins her charges in the ring, who have spotted the new Tag Team Titles on the floor, they slowly pick them up and hold them aloft, staring their opponents for Homecoming down once more.

Dan Simmons: Folks, these four men have certainly earned the right to get to this point but only two of them can win the titles, will we see these two men, The New South holding those titles aloft once again?

---

MATCH FOUR
Nathan Cage vs Riley Richards (w/Leon Chant)

Nathan Cage is quick to live up to his moniker when the bell rings, all pretense of a collar-and-elbow tie-up abandoned immediately in favor of charging Riley Richards--but Richards nimbly dodges at the last possible second, a drop-toe hold tripping Nathan up so he falls face-first into the middle turnbuckle. Leon Chant can be heard coaching Riley from the outside, encouraging the youngster to stay on the Rabid Dog, advice that Richards follows to the letter since he knows that Cage will rip him to shreds if given the chance. At first, Richards is able to stick and move, kicks and forearms wearing Cage down while Riley manages to avoid getting caught. However, Cage's experience takes hold here and he shows a bit of technical skill where Riley isn't expecting it, catching a forearm and wrapping Richards up to hit an arm-trap cutter. Nathan goes for the pin without hooking the leg, and Riley kicks out just after one, something that pleases Cage if the maniacal grin that graces his lips is any indicator. Now that Riley is down, Cage gets to work. He grinds his forearm in Riley's face, claws at his face, and stomps at him when the ref pulls him away.

The next few minutes is a lot more of Nathan Cage's brutality. Riley tries the ducking and weaving, but Cage catches him with elbow strikes, knee lifts, and more often than anything, brutal headbutts. Riley is reeling on the ropes, but as Cage charges forward for a Cactus clothesline, Riley surges, catching the Rabid Dog out of the air with a superkick. He scrambles for a cover but only gets two. Leon tries to get him to stay on him, but Riley goes off script, seeing Cage under a turnbuckle, so he goes up top. He leaps, looking to nail Cage with Bristol's Finest, but Cage rolls out of the way, leaving Riley to jolt his knees. He shakes his legs out, but before he can recover, Cage blasts him with a lariat. He then backs into the ropes for momentum before giving Riley the Big Fuck You. Riley flips over onto his stomach to avoid pins, but just gets a kick to the face instead. Then Cage tries to lock him in Solitary Confinement, but whether from the kick or Leon's shouting, he scrambles toward the ropes and latches on before Cage can cinch in. The ref pulls Cage away long enough for Riley to retreat to a corner, but Cage barrels past the ref into Richards with elbow strikes. Riley fights back, but Cage has the leverage advantage, so he starts getting pushed into the buckles, then down toward the mat. In an attempt to escape the onslaught, Riley pulls himself under the bottom rope and down to the floor.

Like a predator on the hunt, Cage follows Riley out to the floor as the latter gets to his feet. Nathan rushes toward Riley as the youngster charges at him, catching the smaller competitor in his Cage Thesz Press, driving headbutt after headbutt home even as the referee continues to count out both men. Riley's forehead is quickly busted open, and the sight of blood only serves to inspire Nathan to keep going. Suddenly, the jeers that Cage's onslaught of headbutts has been inspiring shift into cheers as Tommy Kelly emerges from behind the curtain! Being presented with the rival that Nathan has been fixating on is too much for the Rabid Dog to resist. Cage abandons Riley's downed form in favor of stalking to the bottom of the rampway, verbal abuse being hurled at the man known as Deathless. Completely ignoring the referee's count, Cage continues to mouth off at Kelly, Riley beginning to stir... but before the youngster can get back upright, the referee's count is reaching ten, the match ending with a double count-out much to the disappointment of the fans.

[WINNER: Double Count Out at 08:51]

Nathan Cage realises what's happened and he's incensed. He charges up at the ramp and he and Kelly engage in a brawl that disappears backstage. Riley slowly gets back to his feet and rolls into the ring, where Leon Chant joins him, making sure to check on him. Suddenly, the lights flicker and over the PA system the guitar intro for "The Hangman's Body Count" by Volbeat starts to play.

Dan Simmons: What?

Tommy West: Isn't that...isn't that former NLW and current SCCW superstar Jason Justice's music?

Dan Simmons: It is, and it looks like The Warden of Violence is here...and what is that in his hand!?

Leon and Riley look at each other and then scan the arena, finally picking out where Jason Justice is standing in the stands with the doors open behind him to make his black leather look like a shadow, he has his black bandana up over his lower face and in his left hand down to his side he holds a steel pipe. He raises his right hand throwing his hand gun in the air, and then closes his hand into a fist as the intro of his song ends and is just about to explode as the sound goes out with the light.

Tommy West: What the hell is going on here!?

Almost if on que with the lights still out we see on the black tron type out in real time.

The thumping drums, dun dunum dum, dun dunum dum, of "Last Of The Real" starts blasting out of the speakers just as the song explodes into its guitars the lights cut back on.

Dan Simmons: OH MY GOD WE ARE BEING INVADED!

Tommy West: E.V.E IS HERE!

Darlene Price, The Big Bad Wolf and Dylan Black all swarm into the ring with steel pipes in hand and start attacking The Academy in the ring. Dar going for Riley, Dylan and BBW taking out Leon. No sooner do they beat them down, The Goons come darting out from the back down the ramp and into the ring!

Dan Simmons: Here we go! The Goons are here to defend their turf!

The slide into the ring and E.V.E stop, stare at the brothers, who look ready to go...and they join in the beatdown! The crowd can't believe it! BBW rolls out of the ring and starts setting up tables, Dylan black is still working over Leon with the steel pipe across his chest over and over again as Dar is choking Riley out with hers.

Dan Simmons: Someone needs to stop this!

Tommy West: THIS IS AMAZING!

Somebody does come to their aid...in the shape of the final member and leader of The Academy, Rob Arnold. Arnold is sprinting towards the ring but to the crowds disappointment he is abruptly cut off by Jason Justice who flips up over the guard rail and clocks Rob from his blind side with a wicked Buckshot Lariat turning him inside out. Dar sees this in the corner of her eye and motions to Dylan, who takes Leon and drives him into the turnbuckle throwing his arms up over each side of the ropes when from on the ground BBW comes up and cuffs his hands almost hog tying him to the top turnbuckle. Ricardo Goon now turns his attention to Leon Chant, his opponent for Homecoming. He gets in his face but just far enough to where they are not touching. BBW slides a few chairs into the ring done setting up tables around the ring.

Ricardo Goon: What comes next is YOUR FAULT.

Jason Justice, after laying in shot after shot on a downed Rob Arnold tosses him into the ring he staggers to his feet like one does after a night of being the pub and just as he does, he turns right into Darlene's RU486 (Leaping Cutter) driving his face right down on a chair Leon letting out a frustrated yell as he's forced to watch.

Ricardo Goon: Oh you think that was bad? We ain't done yet homes. Take little punk ass bitch out!

Dylan goes to grab Riley and whips him to the far end where he's suddenly stopped with The Big Bad Wolf's hand around is neck, she lifts, no, tosses him up over the top rope and on to her shoulders turns and power bombs him off the apron onto a table waiting on the floor, I AM THE TABLE! IT DOESNT BREAK! Riley makes a sickening thud as he bounces off the Japanese style table that cracks but doesn't break.

Dan Simmons: OH MY GOD! THEY'VE BROKEN HIM IN HALF!

Tommy West: What a sickening thud. AGAIN!

Ric rolls out of the ring and goes to snatch the NLW World Championship as Darlene motions to Dylan and BBW, BBW gets and places a folded up chair in the middle of the ring as Dylan picks up and drops Rob Arnold on it and grabs another chair, BBW lifts Rob's head up a bit with her boot under his chin as Dylan holds a chair just over his head. Darlene leans in and says in his ear.

Darlene Price: Time to pay the devil his due.

She backs up to get a running start leaps and hits a huge FASH STOMP on the chair above him and sandwiching his head between them. Ric then gets between a distraught Leon Chant and his now downed mentor with the title in his hand.

Ricardo Goon: Hey eye on the prize champ! AINT NO ONE GOING TO SAVE YOU AT HOMECOMEING. AINT NO ONE GOING TO BE THERE TO PROTECT YOU, THIS! THIS IS MINE! Keep her warm for me till then....champ.

He places the belt on Leon's shoulder who just lets out a primal yell everyone else in the ring is admiring their handy work and Dylan Black can be seen handing David Goon a briefcase.

Dan Simmons: Did...did we just learn who hired The Goons?

Tommy West: I have no clue! What I do know Riley Richard is barely moving...he may need medical assistance.

Satisfied with the chaos and carnage left in her wake Darlene motions for everyone to clear out and they disperses quickly into the crowd. And at this point we live cut to the office of BB Gunn who is watching all this unfold on a screen. His mouth slightly open, expression aghast. Slowly that expression turns more and more angry. Out of nowhere he explodes to his feet and flips his desk at the same time! 

BB Gunn: That's it!

The General Manager is yelling.

BB Gunn: I have no idea why the hell E.V.E are here, I have no idea why they saw fit to pull that shit, I have no idea why Tommy Kelly and Nathan cage continue to antagonise each other and myself...but all of this madness? It stops now. 

Gunn kicks a laptop that was downed in the flipping.

BB Gunn: Homecoming? Tommy Kelly and Nathan Cage, unsanctioned match. Tear each other apart for all I damn well care. 

He growls.

BB Gunn: As for E.V.E? I'll deal with you real soon. After Homecoming...things are going to start changing around here. 

Cut to commercial.

---

Marty Watts: Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for your main event match for the evening, and it is a Contendership Match for the Southern States Championship at Homecoming II!

“To Death We Dance” by Peter Gundry begins to play over the speakers as everything goes dark. A singular spotlight shines from the entryway. There stand the two masked gentlemen known to the public as the Interpreter, with microphone in his hand, and the Thespian, who carries the Southern States Championship across his shoulder. The two begin to walk towards the ring with a little bounce in each other’s steps; dancing the way down as best as they could with their possessions.

Tommy West: These two still give me the creeps, but I have to give it to them. Their chemistry is just as scary as the gimmick.

Dan Simmons: You’ve got that right. To re-cap, the Thespian stands before you all now as the Southern States Champion after scraping--

Tommy West: Let’s be real, he stole that win.

Dan Simmons: -- his way past Felix, Keahi Sparks, and Al Jabroni in a very close four-way fight. I suppose he is out here to say a couple of words to the challengers before their fight commences.

The spotlight follows the two masked men into the ring before the rest of the lights slowly turn back on in unison. The music dies down and is replaced by an eerie silence from the audience… ready to watch the actors before them. The Thespian holts the championship onto his shoulder before beginning to sign. The Interpreter speaks while he does.

The Interpreter: “Hello, fans of the NLW. You all know me well by now. I have come out here to wish my two could-be contenders luck in their match… as well as offer a couple of words to the both of them.”

The Interpreter: “To Chris Sanderson. Do not fret or lose your focus. It’s just another match. Just look at myself; four years out of the business, and yet, here I am, three-months from my debut here… holding that which you currently yearn for. Championship Gold… a purpose to live to fight another day. Fight TODAY, Sanderson… let us see that conviction on the line… I’d hate for your career to meet such a tragic finale here”

The Interpreter: “To Devin Mitchell. You talk so much about nothing to Mr. Sanderson… but what really do you have to show for yourself? A singular victory over a would-be jobber clean out the door by now. Is that really all you bring to the table? I’d say your career is something more of a Dark Comedy… if you were the least bit entertaining and not just… brooding. Let’s see just how far that edge gets you tonight, hm?”

The Interpreter: “To everyone else… let us enjoy this miserable match. For one person tonight will earn the right to fight for championship gold at Homecoming… while the other risks obscurity. My blessings to both competitors and may the best man win.”

The Thespian’s hands fold into one another as he takes a small bow. Both himself and his Interpreter depart from the ring as Marty Watts gets through the proper introductions.

---

MAIN EVENT - MATCH FIVE
WINNER FACES THE THESPIAN AT HOMECOMING II FOR THE NLW SOUTHERN STATES TITLE
Chris Sanderson vs Devin Mitchell

Chris Sanderson and Devin Mitchell both begin to circle the edges of the ring. The Thespian, with the Southern States Championship in his lap, and the Interpreter both sit quietly at ringside. Mitchell rushes in the moment that his opponent takes another step, but Sanderson catches him and the two lock up. Abusing the height advantage and momentum, Mitchell gets Sanderson into a corner, where the referee begins to count for him to break up the count. Mitchell unhands Sanderson… only to swing back in with a thunderous slap to the face. Sanderson reels from the stinging sensation as Mitchell taunts him from the center of the ring. Sanderson does not waver as he leaves from the corner. The two lock up in the middle of the ring again, and this time Sanderson manages to slip in and land a vicious exploder suplex! Mitchell rolls through the impact and catches himself on the rope, but Sanderson follows it up immediately with a ruthless elbow smash to the lower back. This time, Mitchell is reeling properly from the pain at his back. Sanderson gets the waistlock and manages to plant Mitchell on his head with a german before bridging into a pin.

Mitchell kicks out at one, but seethes from the back pain.

Sanderson stands himself up, but before he can even think about reaching down, Mitchell takes out a leg with a stiff kick of his own. Sanderson drops to a knee, setting up for a perfect enziguri kick from Mitchell to take him down to the mat completely! With his opponent down on the ground, Mitchell begins a series of stomps all over the body. Sanderson does his best to defend himself from the ground, but Mitchell manages to hit a fair number of rough strikes to the legs. With Sanderson favoring the assault to his lower body, Mitchell aims one more kick to the skull… and damn-near knocks Sanderson’s lights out. Mitchell grabs at Sanderson’s arm and looks to drag him in for a pin… before tugging him up quickly and hitting White Phosphorus! There, he goes for the pin.

Sanderson kicks out at two… but still seems pretty far out of it.

Mitchell shakes off the frustration quickly before standing himself back up. He gives another rude kick to Sanderson’s skull before making his way towards a corner. Climbing to the top rope, he looks to aim for a moonsault… he leaps… and is “Caught” by a Cyclone as Sanderson kicks him straight in the head with a pele kick counter! Mitchell hits the mat like a dead weight, but Sanderson can’t find the energy to reach out for the pin himself. The crowd rallies behind Sanderson to make the pin… as does the Thespian and the Interpreter as both climb up onto the apron. They both begin to mimic the count of the referee. The referee gets to a count of four before Sanderson manages to throw his arm over Mitchell’s chest.

Two count.

The masked men mimic the frustrations of the crowd… if not Sanderson himself; of which, he does not find the antics of the two. Sanderson pushes himself up and looks like he’s about to tell the two to sit back down… but Mitchell does the job for him with a dropkick from behind! Sanderson collides into the ropes where the Interpreter holds on, sending the translator flying from the apron! The Thespian drops to check on his companion as Mitchell drags Sanderson away from the ropes… sets up the ripcord… and hits the hook kick for the Monolith Silencer! Mitchell falls into the pin as he stares out to the carnage outside of the ring.

Three count...

… But Sanderson manages to get a foot on the ropes before it.

This time, the frustration begins to grate on Mitchell’s patience… as the Thespian and his wounded compatriot begin to silently mock him from outside of the ring. He brushes the two off and pulls Sanderson to the middle of the ring. Mitchell begins to use the remaining strength he has to pull Sanderson up onto his feet and into the inverted fireman’s carry… and drops him forward for the Virulence!

But Sanderson catches his footing and runs the ropes instead! Mitchell stumbles forward from not connecting with his finisher, but Sanderson hits the handspring cutter From Nowhere! Sanderson makes sure to drag Mitchell back to the center of the ring…

… and tries to lock in the Omega Finale! Sanderson manages to lock the leg but Mitchell begins to struggle against the chinlock as best as he could! Mitchell’s body thrashes and struggles as much as it can under Sanderson’s… but the chin lock gets locked in!

But Mitchell manages to reach out and grab at the bottom rope for the break. The referee begins to count for Sanderson to break the hold. Sanderson takes out all of his frustrations, but lets the submission go at the count of four… before noticing that the Thespian is back on the ring apron, mimicking the count himself. Sanderson snaps and begins a verbal tirade towards both the Thespian and the referee so that the former could be removed from ringside-- SHADOWED THRONE! Mitchell runs in with the devastating knee… but misses both wrestlers and sends the referee clean out of the ring with it!

Both wrestlers in the match look a little dumbfounded at the turn of events… but the Thespian already has the idea to drop down to the referee… make sure he’s okay… and then rob him of his uniform shirt! The Interpreter takes over looking after the referee as medical staff rushes out while the Thespian slides into the ring… and gestures towards the two wrestlers to remind them that there is still a match going on.

Already furious, Sanderson takes advantage of the distractions and clocks Mitchell across the jaw with a stiff elbow smash. Mitchell’s body twists as Sanderson pulls him away from the ropes… wraps him up… and slams him down with the Cobra Clutch Suplex! Sanderson drops into the pin as the Thespian begins the count!

One!

Two!!

THREE!!!

[WINNER AND CONTENDER FOR THE SOUTHERN STATES CHAMPIONSHIP AT HOMECOMING: Chris Sanderson via Untitled Finale III at 13:43]

Dan Simmons: And just like that, Sanderson’s lucks flips! Tired of his downward path, Chris manages to both stomp out the momentum of Devin Mitchell and secure himself a match for the Southern States Championship at Homecoming II!

Tommy West: Wonder who is weak now, huh?

The Thespian helps Chris up to his feet before raising his hand in triumph. He holds it there for a moment before allowing it to fall naturally. With a congratulatory clap, the Southern States Champion begins to back-pedal into a corner. Sanderson takes a suspicious glare back to the masked wrestler before taking to the opposite corner to celebrate.

Tommy West: Enjoy this celebration while it lasts, Chris, for you’re not going to be in for a fun time come two weeks against that creeper.

Dan Simmons: Speaking of… what is he doing with the belt?

Sanderson jumps off the turnbuckle, only to run into the Thespian one more time; this time, the replacement-referee had the championship belt in hand. Whether or not he had planned to strike Sanderson is unclear, but the Thespian raises it up to the sky with one hand. The other reaches under the skinsuit’s mask… and pries it up just enough to show a devilish smile.

The Thespian, raspy: Good luck… kiddo.

The champion drops his mask to give Sanderson an assuring pat to the shoulder before taking his leave from the ring. Both him, and the Interpreter, backpedal to the back with the championship raised high. Sanderson just watches the two walk off with a determined scowl to keep this upward momentum going.

Dan Simmons: Ouch. Well, folks, that is all the time we have for Ascendancy tonight! In two weeks time, Homecoming II comes to your television screens! Enjoy your Thanksgivings and we’ll see you soon for our biggest event of the year!

[Adrien]

THE SHOW IS LIVE, EVERYONE!! WOO HOO!!

[Deleted]

ROBBIE EDIT: That's not how this game works. Sorry it doesn't line up with how you see it but we keep things civil on a public board.