Post by rich121 on Nov 4, 2021 11:49:52 GMT -5
Open on a rickety, dilapidated shack at the end of a dirt road. The grounds all around is nothing but dirt, dead grass and rotting trees, there are several cars rusting away on cinder blocks and on the mailbox is scribbled “Walker”. The door opens and a tall, slender man dressed in dirty sweatpants, a NASCAR t-shirt full of holes and barefoot, drinking a Natty Ice and smoking a Pall Mall. Upon a closer look it’s obviously Jester LeBeau but when he speaks…
Jester: “What the hell are you doin’ heyah? Ain’t nobody tell me them cameras gonna be here! (takes a deep drag, flicks his cigarette towards the camera) I done said all I’m gonna say … (laughs) naw that’s bullshit, I don’ know how to shut up. I’ll bet you’re here to interview the chosen one, the vengeful one, the great one, the (lets loose a loud belch) one himself. Madam Wu’s number one guy… Cornelius Jamison Walker the third… that’s me in case you didn’t know. Well, come on in let me show you how the upper crust lives.”
(the cameraman steps through the door and nearly falls through the rotting floor)
“Yeah, you need to watch your step there. I gotta drive down to Home Depot and get some Mexicans to fix that. Well, feast your eyes on the true UPW World Belt. (above a decrepit fireplace is a foam replica of the UPW title with ‘CJ Walker’ scratched on the main plastic plate) That’s mah pride and joy. That’s the centerpiece of my existence. That’s what changed my life for the better. And look over here. (he directs the camera to a wall covered with crayon drawings of a cage, a wrestling ring, a stick figure rear fornicating with another stick figure with an arrow to the name ‘Bishop’ pointed to it) This here are the original plans for my prison of pain match that I lost because I never got to the point of the match where I ass {No Means No} Devin before I was to pin him and win the match. And over here… (on another wall there are framed letters written in red crayon and each one has ‘I QUIT’ in large letters) this is every letter I submitted to management every time I quit UPW. This one is my proudestest ‘cause I was tolt that I actually spelled all the words right. But Madam Wu knows that I am the centerpiece of her empire and I am essential and consensual and unreplaceable which is why she keeps bringing me back and giving me mo money, mo money, mo money!! And with my new position and realized authority I can now do all the things that I had only dreamed of growing up on the dirt floor of Uncle Granpa’s basement while my parents huffed gasoline and stole socks from the walsmart. Now I can marry the love of my life and let me tell you that she completes my life. I couldn’t ask for a better friend, sister and cousin to share my life with. And when I regain the World title at Vendetta, I’ll be able to get her the surgery so she can have all the right parts that a wife is supposed to have.
“I mean really there is no other choices when it comes down to it. I mean Pixi isn’t worth it, she doesn’t even put any bodies sausage in her body. Cage is gonna throw out his back walking to the ring. Nathaniel is a dumb as the shit I just took in my bath bucket. I mean the only guy who might be better than me is that incredibly handsome, total maniacal, supremely skilled, well rounded, supremely talented Jester LeBeau. I mean sure I give him a hard time but that’s only because I’m jealous of him, his success, his ideals, his looks, his ability to drink hard liquor and not shit himself. I mean his Jester’s Playhouse was so much better than my prison of pain, but we both lost so we’re like kindred spirits in that sense. I would probably like to have a beer with that wonderful specimen. Oh, that reminds me… (takes a of Natty Ice out of his sweatpants and pops it open for a swig) Ooo, a little warm but still good, am I right? So yeah, I am such the obvious choice for Vendetta and I’ma gonna prove it on the next Friday Night Free to Fuck and I’m gonna conquer all and especially beat off Jester right there in the middle of the ring.
(suddenly there is a beeping, “CJ” takes a pager out of his pocket)
OK, this interview is over. I have important business to attend to for Madam Wu.
(He grabs a pooper scooper and opens the door)
“I am a vital piece of UPW operations you know. And I always will be.”
(goes to step out the door and falls through the floor)
Jester: “What the hell are you doin’ heyah? Ain’t nobody tell me them cameras gonna be here! (takes a deep drag, flicks his cigarette towards the camera) I done said all I’m gonna say … (laughs) naw that’s bullshit, I don’ know how to shut up. I’ll bet you’re here to interview the chosen one, the vengeful one, the great one, the (lets loose a loud belch) one himself. Madam Wu’s number one guy… Cornelius Jamison Walker the third… that’s me in case you didn’t know. Well, come on in let me show you how the upper crust lives.”
(the cameraman steps through the door and nearly falls through the rotting floor)
“Yeah, you need to watch your step there. I gotta drive down to Home Depot and get some Mexicans to fix that. Well, feast your eyes on the true UPW World Belt. (above a decrepit fireplace is a foam replica of the UPW title with ‘CJ Walker’ scratched on the main plastic plate) That’s mah pride and joy. That’s the centerpiece of my existence. That’s what changed my life for the better. And look over here. (he directs the camera to a wall covered with crayon drawings of a cage, a wrestling ring, a stick figure rear fornicating with another stick figure with an arrow to the name ‘Bishop’ pointed to it) This here are the original plans for my prison of pain match that I lost because I never got to the point of the match where I ass {No Means No} Devin before I was to pin him and win the match. And over here… (on another wall there are framed letters written in red crayon and each one has ‘I QUIT’ in large letters) this is every letter I submitted to management every time I quit UPW. This one is my proudestest ‘cause I was tolt that I actually spelled all the words right. But Madam Wu knows that I am the centerpiece of her empire and I am essential and consensual and unreplaceable which is why she keeps bringing me back and giving me mo money, mo money, mo money!! And with my new position and realized authority I can now do all the things that I had only dreamed of growing up on the dirt floor of Uncle Granpa’s basement while my parents huffed gasoline and stole socks from the walsmart. Now I can marry the love of my life and let me tell you that she completes my life. I couldn’t ask for a better friend, sister and cousin to share my life with. And when I regain the World title at Vendetta, I’ll be able to get her the surgery so she can have all the right parts that a wife is supposed to have.
“I mean really there is no other choices when it comes down to it. I mean Pixi isn’t worth it, she doesn’t even put any bodies sausage in her body. Cage is gonna throw out his back walking to the ring. Nathaniel is a dumb as the shit I just took in my bath bucket. I mean the only guy who might be better than me is that incredibly handsome, total maniacal, supremely skilled, well rounded, supremely talented Jester LeBeau. I mean sure I give him a hard time but that’s only because I’m jealous of him, his success, his ideals, his looks, his ability to drink hard liquor and not shit himself. I mean his Jester’s Playhouse was so much better than my prison of pain, but we both lost so we’re like kindred spirits in that sense. I would probably like to have a beer with that wonderful specimen. Oh, that reminds me… (takes a of Natty Ice out of his sweatpants and pops it open for a swig) Ooo, a little warm but still good, am I right? So yeah, I am such the obvious choice for Vendetta and I’ma gonna prove it on the next Friday Night Free to Fuck and I’m gonna conquer all and especially beat off Jester right there in the middle of the ring.
(suddenly there is a beeping, “CJ” takes a pager out of his pocket)
OK, this interview is over. I have important business to attend to for Madam Wu.
(He grabs a pooper scooper and opens the door)
“I am a vital piece of UPW operations you know. And I always will be.”
(goes to step out the door and falls through the floor)