Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2021 14:15:18 GMT -5
CJ Walker sits behind a news desk, his hair his hidden under a bad comb over pompadour wig and he has this side ways forced smile on his face, he's dressed in a cheap looking, ugly blue suit and is holding several papers on his hand. Generic news intro music plays.
CJ: "Welcome to The News, I'm your host Clint Newsman. Our top story today,The Main Event Scene over in UP Wrestling is at a tipping point. On one side there is current World Outofshape Champion Devin Bishop and possible challengers Jester 'I Got Fired From Working Birthday Parties' LeBeau, Cage 'The Rage In The Cage' Cage, Pixi Dust, And Nathaniel 'There Isn't This Much White Trash In A Dumpster Behind A Paper Plate Factory' Budweiser. And on the opposite side of the scale is God's Gift To Wrestling, The Saviour Of Segmented Programming, The Paragon Of Promo's, The Main Event Masterpiece, CJ Walker. Viewers I have to say never in my four and a half minutes of news anchoring have I ever seen a more dire situation. Walker is struggling to keep UP Wrestling afloat and it's just not looking good. Let's go to sports now with our sports analyst Dan Sportsman."
The scene switches over a CJ wearing a bald cap and wearing a sweater vest with a sweatshirt draped around his shoulders.
CJ: "Thanks Clint, It's a tough one for wrestling fans especially wrestling fans that like a good main event product. Devin Bishop has been World Overweight Champion for far too long and it's really starting to takes its toll on The Main Event Scene. Not since Bryan Black had there been such a not over Champion in UP Wrestling. And now we look ahead and the field of teams andy God it's not a pretty sight. Thank fully CJ Walker is out on that field and is do far out in front the others it's insane. Let's send it over now to our chief meteorologist Carla Weathermam." (Not a type <---)
The scene switches again to CJ wearing a blonde wig and a pink pants suit. Standing in front of a map that's says UPW Main Event.
CJ: "I hope you're ready for a real shit storm folks. We have several boring, lackluster shit storms in our forecast. All of which have the potential to become severe. Tropical Bore Devin Bishop is mixing with Fail Force Winds of Storms Nathaniel, Jester, Pixi, and Cage and the hazard for drowning in your own boredom is a very likely possibilty. Luckily for us though we have a stronger front moving in with Hurricane CJ that looks to blow these smaller insignificant storms somewhere out their own ass and bring in a bright future. Let's hope CJ stays on his current path of being the most majestic, talented thing in UP Wrestling today. That's it for this news break."
CJ: "Welcome to The News, I'm your host Clint Newsman. Our top story today,The Main Event Scene over in UP Wrestling is at a tipping point. On one side there is current World Outofshape Champion Devin Bishop and possible challengers Jester 'I Got Fired From Working Birthday Parties' LeBeau, Cage 'The Rage In The Cage' Cage, Pixi Dust, And Nathaniel 'There Isn't This Much White Trash In A Dumpster Behind A Paper Plate Factory' Budweiser. And on the opposite side of the scale is God's Gift To Wrestling, The Saviour Of Segmented Programming, The Paragon Of Promo's, The Main Event Masterpiece, CJ Walker. Viewers I have to say never in my four and a half minutes of news anchoring have I ever seen a more dire situation. Walker is struggling to keep UP Wrestling afloat and it's just not looking good. Let's go to sports now with our sports analyst Dan Sportsman."
The scene switches over a CJ wearing a bald cap and wearing a sweater vest with a sweatshirt draped around his shoulders.
CJ: "Thanks Clint, It's a tough one for wrestling fans especially wrestling fans that like a good main event product. Devin Bishop has been World Overweight Champion for far too long and it's really starting to takes its toll on The Main Event Scene. Not since Bryan Black had there been such a not over Champion in UP Wrestling. And now we look ahead and the field of teams andy God it's not a pretty sight. Thank fully CJ Walker is out on that field and is do far out in front the others it's insane. Let's send it over now to our chief meteorologist Carla Weathermam." (Not a type <---)
The scene switches again to CJ wearing a blonde wig and a pink pants suit. Standing in front of a map that's says UPW Main Event.
CJ: "I hope you're ready for a real shit storm folks. We have several boring, lackluster shit storms in our forecast. All of which have the potential to become severe. Tropical Bore Devin Bishop is mixing with Fail Force Winds of Storms Nathaniel, Jester, Pixi, and Cage and the hazard for drowning in your own boredom is a very likely possibilty. Luckily for us though we have a stronger front moving in with Hurricane CJ that looks to blow these smaller insignificant storms somewhere out their own ass and bring in a bright future. Let's hope CJ stays on his current path of being the most majestic, talented thing in UP Wrestling today. That's it for this news break."