London Calling (Guardians XHF Tag Team)
Nov 17, 2021 14:56:50 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Drag, and 1 more like this
Post by Adrien on Nov 17, 2021 14:56:50 GMT -5
London calling to the faraway towns
Now war is declared, and battle come down
London calling to the underworld
Come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls
London calling, now don't look to us
Phoney Beatlemania has bitten the dust
London calling, see we ain't got no swing
Except for the ring of that truncheon thing
"I'll take great pleasure in helping them forget you ever existed in the first place."
Adrien Cochrane gives a weak smile as he watches the end of Natalie Burrows speaking about her FIRESIDE World Heavyweight Championship opponent MAJESTY. But it wasn’t the Southern Belle’s words that prompted Adrien’s smile, but the shirt she was wearing while speaking… the Guardians shirt Adrien had given her a month earlier.
“I guess that means she’s in, aye?”
While familiar, the voice behind the Dropkick King startles him a bit. He turns to the owner of the voice, his best friend and manager, who was standing in the doorway to his living room. The Cajun Sensation leaps off the couch to approach Eddie Walker with a mischievous grin on his face.
Adrien: “Eddie Walker, as I live and breathe! Aren’t you supposed to be rendered unable to walk by Eli Dresden by now?”
Eddie: “That’s not until Friday. Besides, I’m not THAT old! I’m still over twenty years younger than Noel Edmonds, at least.”
Adrien: “So we are counting on you needing that wheelchair again… GOT IT!!”
Eddie: “Can we talk about something other than Eli Dresden? You recruited Natalie? I mean, she’s the FIRESIDE World Champion. I know you two were apparently friends back in the day but what’s the purpose of bringing her into the fold? Why choose her?”
Cochrane gestures for Walker to take a seat on the loveseat across from the couch he was just sitting on before the Manager Extraordinaire came into Adrien’s living room.
Adrien: “You weren’t my manager yet. But I remember the match like it was yesterday. May 19th, 2013. We were in a ten-person tag team match, elimination. We were fighting a really nasty group called LEGION who had very bad intentions. Our side was down to two people: Natalie and me. There were two of them still left in the match and two others who weren’t in the match surrounding the ring. When Natalie was eliminated, she refused to leave. She had to be removed by officials. She didn’t want to leave me by myself. When I was able to sneak out the win for the team, she was among the people who stormed the ring to make sure I didn’t fall victim to a group attack. If there is anyone… ANYONE who deserves to be a Guardian, it’s Natalie Burrows.”
In the most serendipitous manner, the doorbell rings. Cochrane’s smile widens as he pats his best friend’s shoulder on his way to greet the visitor he was sure was going to show up on his doorstep soon. The Southern Belle’s waiting with a smile when the door opens, not hesitating at all when it comes to giving Adrien a hug.
Natalie: “Sorry for taking so long to get here to do this all officially, but… well, inter-realm travel can be a real pain.”
The Dropkick King chuckles.
Adrien: “Well, whatever you had to do to face MAJESTY, right? Come on in. I think it’s time you officially met Eddie Walker. And I couldn’t help but notice a certain… t-shirt when you were getting ready for that match.”
Cochrane leads Natalie quickly into the living room where Eddie Walker has already sprung to his feet to greet the newest member of the Guardians. Burrows chuckles to herself, the sound almost sheepish.
Natalie: “Well, it seemed as appropriate a time as any to announce my decision. Besides, it made the whole MAJESTY’s realm thing a little less scary.”
Upon spying the Manager Extraordinaire, the Southern Belle is offering her hand.
Natalie: “Mister Walker, I presume?”
Eddie: “Miss Burrows, nice to meet you.”
Walker greets the FIRESIDE World Heavyweight Champion by taking her hand and curtsying to her, earning a giggle from the blonde. Now Cochrane’s gesture to take a seat is to both of his visitors.
Adrien: “So… I think it is time for me to go ahead and let you know what I’m hoping to accomplish with your recruitment. Tell me, Natalie… how familiar are you with the Crinkley Bottom Boys?”
Natalie: “I know that they’re on British TV, and I watched their matches throughout the End of Days Tournament. Beyond that, I don’t know much.”
Adrien: “Do you believe them to be beatable? So long as Mr. Blobby’s sherbert intake has reached its breaking point after everything Noel has done to get as far as they’ve come.”
Burrows takes a deep breath, clearly not wholly pleased with what she is about to focus on--but it’s a necessary evil.
Natalie: “Considering how I literally just defeated monstrous bats and a Fae-possessed bear, I would say anyone is beatable.”
Eddie: “Obligatory mention that Adrien defeated Subject #42.”
Cochrane doesn’t say anything at first, simply reaching into his pocket for a folded-up flyer for an upcoming wrestling pay per view… specifically NLW Homecoming II, which takes place a mere ten miles from Adrien’s residence.
Adrien: “How would you like to be an XHF Tag Team Champion?”
The Southern Belle cracks a grin.
Natalie: “Sounds like a good idea to me, sugah.”
Adrien: “Excellent! We shall make our intentions known this Saturday at Ascension XXV! Let’s show the entire XHF Network that the Guardians mean business!”
London calling to the imitation zone
Forget it brother, you can go it alone
London calling to the zombies of death
Quit holding out, and draw another breath
London calling, and I don't wanna shout
But while we were talking, I saw you nodding out
London calling, see we ain't got no high
Except for that one with the yellowy eyes
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And let me tell you, Crinkley Bottom Boys, you made your first steps count. Look at the field you were in. Eight of the finest tag teams in all of the XHF Network… and you two came out on top.”
Adrien Cochrane sits at the bottom of an off-white marble stairwell. Not too far from his right is a wooden door.
“And then when the former XHF Tag Team Champions stood before you… the BANG Bros, Curtis Kanyon and Steve Awesome… two of the most decorated competitors in the history of the XHF Network… you two surprised the world. The biggest upset in all of End of Days, in my humble opinion, and that’s not a knock on you two either. Your opponents were larger than life. They were icons. They had the entire network in the palm of their hands, and you beat them in that ring. You ended a dynasty in that Dumpster Fire match. And you should be congratulated for that. You deserve that and I will do that here, in front of everyone… congratulations on becoming the XHF Tag Team Champions, Noel Edmonds and Mr. Blobby.
“So what’s next for the Crinkley Bottom Boys?”
Cochrane rises to his feet and starts to slowly step to his left along the classic British television set that anyone growing up in the nineties in that area would be quick to recognize.
“You have the belts now. You’re on top of the world now. All the roses and spotlight are on you. Your name is forever in the lineage of the XHF Tag Team Championship, a championship that dates back to two years after the show you two did together on BBC ended.”
The Dropkick King gives a soft smile while mentioning the television series Noel’s House Party, which ran for nine years until it was canceled in 2000.
“You are the fifty-second champions and that can never be taken from you. But what can be taken from you is someone making themselves the fifty-third. You’re not going to hold that championship forever. You can only feed Mr. Blobby so much sherbert before the poor thing’s heart gives out like a seventy-two-year-old still trying to wrestle. We are your first test. You made it to the top of the mountain; now you have to fight off everyone trying to push you off. And you never know what direction a challenge will approach. Let me tell you something I know from experience… holding onto a belt is a lot harder than winning it. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, Crinkley Bottom Boys, and you’re about to experience the full weight of that crown.
“That’s where we come in. We are here to give you that first challenge in your reign as the top tag team in the XHF Network. Great champions need tough challengers. So we stand before you as your first true test as the holders of those belts. You will be across the ring from someone who held the X*Crown Championship earlier this year and the current FIRESIDE World Heavyweight Champion. And before you think that we have no experience together, Natalie and I were in a stable together a long, long time ago. I shouldn’t have to tell you this but chemistry together will not be a problem for us.”
Adrien keeps walking forward till his shoes are no longer on the wooden surface of the Noel’s House Party television set and on a grass-like surface. Upon stopping, the tone in his voice starts to rise.
“You faced all those teams, every single one of them along the way, and they didn’t expect you to beat them. They disrespected you. They counted you out. And I know what that’s like. You made them regret it. Every single word became moot as it was YOUR arm being raised in the end, all the way till you won those championships. Now you’re the ones with the gold. How are you going to handle your challengers? Have those victories gone to your head yet? Will Noel be even more of an insufferable egotist after succeeding on the biggest stage he’s ever been on in his fifty-three years on television? Will you have more people come to a cartoony demise, go for more shock humor with more bodily fluids, and find some film or television or some form of media to spoof to find some desperate form of entertainment for your audiences… or will you step into that ring and fight like a damn warrior with those belts hanging over the match? Fact of the matter is this: you’re not in Crinkley Bottom.”
Adrien takes another step forward and his shoe is now on a black and gold symbol in the turf. After Cochrane snaps his fingers, the walls of the Noel’s House Party set fall back and Adrien’s true location is revealed: the Caeser’s Superdome, home of the New Orleans Saints. The camera pans out to reveal Adrien’s foot on the fleur-de-lis.
“You’re in New Orleans now, boys. You’re in my backyard now. Throw out whatever crazy stipulation like the blanket fort deathmatch or whatever else you can come up with. It won’t matter. When it’s all said and done, you will still have to beat me and Natalie Burrows. You will still have to fight off two highly talented wrestlers to retain those belts. We are your first test as tag team champions, boys.
“And if you’re not careful, we will be your last.”
The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Engines stop running, the wheat is growing thin
A nuclear error, but I have no fear
'Cause London is drowning, and I live by the river
Now get this
London calling, yes, I was there too
And you know what they said? Well, some of it was true!
London calling at the top of the dial
And after all this, won't you give me a smile?
