Saturday Jam Sessions Ep. 12 "Plastic Love"

[Dylan]

Psycho KGB: "(Welcome to Episode Twelve of Saturday Jam Sessions, PLASTIC LOVE! We're live in Kyoto and boy oh boy! Welcome to year FIVE of J-ROK! We've got quite the show tonight, don't we MUSHI?)"

MUSHI: "(That's right, that's right! We have two title matches tonight, opening the show with the Hellhounds and Tony Randel defending their J-ROK Trios Championships against Dominion! And in the main event we see OMI challenge Hannah Rockford for the J-ROK New Wave Championship!)"

Pyscho KGB: "(We got some other crazy matches too tonight! Former FLOTUS takes on Haley Grimes, who's saying if she doesn't win a title before the end of the year she's gonna quit J-ROK! Why?!)"

MUSHI: "(She's got about 30-something more days, fam.)"

Psycho KGB: "(We also get to watch the Masters of the Mat take on a debuting Johnny Sniper and the sensational White Light II!)"

MUSHI: "(The war between Kira and White Light may never end! But that match will conclude after 30 minutes, leading in to a random team death match! Fukushima Zombie, Anna Daniels, Wolf Fang Ayame, STRiFE, Momoko Honda, Deco, Brendan Harding, and Fenrir are all slotted into a match, and in teams of four they'll take each other up!)"

Psycho KGB: "(And in our pre-main event, Super Sake Presents: Off The Wagon takes on the peculiar team of AMERICAN PUSSY! Charles the Cat and XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion Florida Man will battle it out for supremacy tonight!)"

MUSHI: "(Let's get underway!)"

Match One: J-ROK Trios Championship Match; J-ROK Trios Rules; 60 Minute Time Limit
The Dominion Vs. The Hellhounds & Tony Randel (C.)

Fumio Daemura: "(The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! And is for the J-ROK Trios Champions! Introducing first from the blue corner, weighing a combined weight of SEVEN-HUNDRED-AND-THIRTY-FOUR POUNDS, THEY ARE THE DOMINION!)"

Psycho KGB: "(Look at the size of these dudes! They are giants and they will stop at nothing to run buck wild over the trios division!)"

Fumio Daemura: "(And their opponents, fighting out of the red corner. At a combined weight of EIGHT-HUNDRED-AND-SEVENTY-FIVE POUNDS, THEY ARE THE JROK TRIOS CHAMPIONS! TONY RANDEL AND THE HELLHOUNDS!)"

MUSHI: "(You wanna talk about size? Look no further than the Hellhounds! No pairing of the Dominion are as big as the Hellhounds, and when you add in Tony Randel I have to say that pound-for-pound, Dominion is outmatched!)"

The bell rings and instead of selecting starting members, all three teams just bulrush each other and start laying into their foes! Lefts and rights, heavy slugs and punches are traded between these two goliath teams! Everything spills to the outside except for Tony and Alex, who push each other into corners for lethal strikes and chops. Alex runs the ropes for a clothesline to the Big Bad Doctor, but Tony brushes it off like it's nothing! Alex runs again and Tony catches him this time with a Double A Spinebuster! Shades of the baddest spinebuster in the bizz as Alex jerks in pain on the mat. Tony tags in Cerberus, who runs in with a warrior splash onto the young Alex but Alex rolls out of the way! Cerberus splats on the mat and Alex rolls away for a hot tag on Raijin!

Dominion begin to make quick work together on the giant of the Hellhounds, with quick tags and lightning fast moves. Staying well out of the reach of the lumbering Cerberus, Raijin puts some work in on the base of the behemoth, beating him down with quick strikes and dodges. Cerberus tries to swat the measly fly away but Raijin weaves in and out of all the offense! Cerberus manages to bop Raijin away into his corner, not noticing while he's shaking the cobwebs Raijin tags in Ryo to keep things confusing and fresh! Ryo begins another circle of hot tags and wearing down Cerberus, who tags Psycho in to handle these fools! Psycho manages to beat back Ryo and Alex, leaving only Raijin once more who he begins to isolate in a separate corner.

The end of the match came with the Hellhounds in the ring together nailing their patented Stillborn Cradle on Raijin. Psycho tags in Tony and the Hellhounds rush Alex and Ryo, blasting them off the apron. Tony climbs to the top rope, to the amazement of everyone in the arena and leaps off for his Prescription Painkiller moonsault! What height! What agility! Tony crushes Raijin and with the Hellhounds guarding him, secures the three count for his team!

MUSHI: "(Wow! What a sight to see! The Trios Champs retain by the skin of their teeth!)"

Psycho KGB: "(It was a narrow contest that really could have gone either way!)"

The screen is black, and slowly a hazy red glow like a slow burning fire grows in the distance. And a cold voice hisses from the darkness.

'They think we are defeated. They think they have beaten us. They think we are broken.'

A pause, and something rustles in the blackness before the voice continues.

'Yet we are not. We were always broken, we were made flawed, and defeat? Defeat has no meaning in the darkness. You see we are not defeated, and at End of Days? They may have won a battle? But the war rages on.'

The glow became flames, a slow burning fire that casts embers and sparks across the darkness. And shadows move beyond that fire, and the voice growls.

'I am not yet finished with XHF, I am not yet done with this war. And the darkness? Oh, the darkness remains. You see the Void is waiting, always waiting! And it hungers still, it screams to me! It commands me to do the work of Oblivion, and I will lead the Children of the Fall back into the fray. I will have my vengeance on those who rejected me, on those who presumed to think me defeated? Am I not the Scourge? Do they think they can be rid of me so easily? No, no, no.'

The fire was coming from a burning ring, and flames raged around it as a shadowy hand reaches down to pluck a metal mask from the ashes. It shook them off the metal as it gleamed red in the hellish light, fingers wiped off the ashes and dust as the scene went black again. And the voice spat angrily.

'JROK. Oblivion calls for you.'

Match Two: J-ROK Singles Rules; 30 Minute Time Limit
Esmerelda Kanyon Vs. Haley Grimes

Fumio Daemura: "(The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, from Washington D.C, USA, weighing in at ONE-HUNDRED-AND-FIFTY POUNDS, the former First Lady of the United States of America, ESMERELDA KANYON!)"

Psycho KGB: "(The first lady is ready to throw down once again! Esmerelda has had a few close calls to big wins lately but now she has a chance against SKY Force's resident ass master!)"

Fumio Daemura: "(And her opponent, from Tokyo, Japan, weighing in at ONE-HUNDRED-AND-FIFTY-SEVEN POUNDS, representing SKY Force, HALEY GRIMES!)"

MUSHI: "(You wanna talk about making money moves? Esmerelda slept her way to the top of the Ladies Leadership in the US, but Haley has put hard work in for the last year! She called out Dylan Black to a match for his J-ROK Visual Kai Championship and while he has yet to respond she's gonna send another message by kicking Ms. Kanyon's ass today! I can feel it!)"

The bell rings and Kanyon and Grimes meet for a collar-and-elbow tieup in the center of the ring. They push each other around for a bit before Kanyon breaks the hold and slaps Haley in the face! Grimes is enraged at this but Kanyon slips out to consult with agent Johnson outside the ring! While the ref counts her out and Haley waits around impatiently agent Smith runs in and spins Haley around! She gets dropped with a wristlock clothesline! Smith rolls out as Johnson and Kanyon finish consulting and Kanyon, seeing Grimes out on the mat, gets excited and goes to roll her up! The ref counts to two, before Haley spins it around and stacks up Kanyon! This time the ref gets the three! Grimes beats Ms. Kanyon in record time!

Fumio Daemura: "(The winner of this match, Haley Grimes!)"

Psycho KGB: "(Wow! Guess I'll eat my words!)"

MUSHI: "(Even I didn't expect Grimes to win this fast!)"

Kanyon and her agents escape away as Haley celebrates for a moment, before asking for a mic.

Haley Grimes: 34 days. That's all I have left. It's been almost a month and that coward Dylan Black still has not responded to my challenges! Where is he? Too scared to beat me? I am a danger in the ring, so I understand his fear. But I want an answer Dylan. Will I be seeing you in a BLACK CHRISTMAS DEATH MATCH?! Or will I be making an example of J-ROK as Raison D'etre?

The crowd starts chanting, "COWARD BLACK! COWARD BLACK!" as they await for some sort of response from the Visual Kai Champion. There's a moment before...

Antonio Katō: Ladies and Gentlemen...

The crowd boos, heavily downpouring on the Japanese native. He walks through gorilla, smirking as he holds a mic up.

Antonio Katō: As the spokesperson and representative for our great and mighty J-ROK Visual Kai Champion, I am tasked with handling all legal and business matters for the King of Hokkaido. This being one of the many things he assigns to me. Now, you make yourself a very convincing argument for a match Ms. Grimes. Anyone can call out Mr. Black but to call him out in a Black Christmas Death Match, his domain? You are a gutsy individual, we'll give you that. And as for your little... challenge? Dylan Black. Accepts. Your request. Prepare to be famous, Ms Grimes. And beware the Messiah!

The crowd erupts in cheers! 

MUSHI: "(Looks like we have an official match for next month! Dylan Black vs Haley Grimes in a Black Christmas Death Match!)"

Psycho KGB: "(Sounds like a crazy mess that I can't wait to watch!)"

Match Three: J-ROK Tag Team Rules; 30 Minute Time Limit
Masters of The Mat Vs. Johnny Sniper & White Light II

Fumio Daemura: "(The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! And is a J-ROK tag team exhibition match. Introducing first, at a combined weight of FOUR-HUNDRED-AND-TWENTY-FIVE POUNDS, Kira Izumi and Carnivore, the Masters of the Mat!)"

Fumio Daemura: "(And their opponents, at a combined weight of FOUR-HUNDRED-AND-TWENTY-ONE POUNDS, Johnny Sniper and White Light II!)"

The match begins with some tense stare downs between Kira and White Light. Kira shouts a few things in Japanese at him before White Light shakes his head and tags in Johnny Sniper. Eager to get his debut underway, Sniper books it out of the corner and brawls with the very man who signed him to this company. Kira and Sniper brawl around the ring, throwing everything they've got at each other until they begin to feel worn down. Sniper tries an unorthodox submission to slow the pace down but Kira reverses with some elbows to the face of the newest signee! Kira flips out of the hold and elbows Sniper again in the face, before Irish whipping him into the corner and tagging in Carnivore! 

Carnivore flies off the top rope, delivering a knee strike to Sniper! He beats Sniper around the ring, but gets dangerously close to Sniper's corner! Close enough for White Light II to be tagged in! Carnivore notices and quickly turns his attention to White Light, beating him back now! He backs White Light in a corner and begins to rain strikes on the sensation but Carnivore gets kicked back! White Light is not backing down without a fight and he hits a few swift kicks on Carnivore to stun him. THEN WHITE LIGHT JUMPS UP, HE HITS CARNIVORE WITH THAT JUMPING DDT, THE CLAP BACK! CARNIVORE DROPS AS WHITE LIGHT COVERS HIM FOR THE THREE!

Fumio Daemura: "(The winners of this match, Johnny Sniper and White Light II!)"

Sniper and Light escape from the ring after a hard fought match. Izumi sits up in the ring, yelling for a mic. He uses the ropes to pull himself up. He points at Light II as he screams into the heavens...

Kira Izumi: "(White Light! You fuckin' punk! This's it! I've had it ya little rat bastard! Me'n you...)"

He starts to laugh manically.

Kira Izumi: "(At Raison D'Etre 2... I'll wager my hair... fer yer mask...)"

He drops the mic with the challenge set. Grabbing at his hair. We cut to White Light II, who points at Kira and nods as he makes a clipping motion with his fingers.

Match Four: Random Team Death Match; J-ROK Eight Man Tag Team Rules; 30 Minute Time Limit*
Team A vs Team B
*Wrestlers involved in this match include: Fukushima Zombie, Anna Daniels, Wolf Fang Ayame, STRiFE, Momoko Honda, Deco, Brendan Harding, & Fenrir

Fumio Daemura: The following contest is a random team death match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, at a combined weight of FIVE-HUNDRED-AND-FORTY-NINE POUNDS, the team of Fukushima Zombie, Wolf Fang Ayame, Fenrir and STRiFE!

MUSHI: "(So many heavy hitters on this team!)"

Psycho KGB: "(Yeah, but they all hate each other. Combustible hitters on this team you mean.)"

Fumio Daemura: And their opponents, at a combined weight of SIX-HUNDRED-AND-TWO POUNDS, the team of Anna Daniels. Momoko Honda, Brendan Harding and Deco!

Psycho KGB: "(A lot of these folks are newer to J-ROK, some are mainstays, but all produce bangers every night they show up!)"

MUSHI: "(It'll be fun to see how all these mega talents coexist in one match!)"

This was a chaotic match from start to finish. Everywhere you looked there were people all fighting in every corner. Fenrir and Harding trading blows by the announce booth, Ayame and Deco both pushing each other up the ramp with their fight. STRiFE and Fukushima kept their fights close to the ring, showing some surprising ability to work together as they battled with Momoko Honda and Anna Daniels. This match could have been anyones game and it really was. In the end, all it took was a well-timed Interrobang from Anna Daniels to lay out Fukushima Zombie and claim the win for her team!

Fumio Daemura: "(The winners of this match, Brendan Harding, Momoko Honda, Deco and Anna Daniels!)"

The victors of this match celebrate as STRiFE rolls into the ring, seeing Fukushima still woozy after the fall. Zombie pushes herself to her feet, and there's a moment of tension in the air before STRiFE walks past her and out of the ring, going as far as to aggressively bump shoulders with her long-time rival on the way out. Zombie takes this slight way too seriously and gets a mic.

Fukushima Zombie: "Strife! Striiife. I am not done with you. Throughout all my time here there is one thing that has been the hardest for me to do. That is to defeat you. After tonight I know I am ready for it again. We have battled for a long time so we have gotten to know each other in many levels. A friendship does not remove a rivalry. That will stand ever more. So I want to try and defeat you one more time. I will even put up the IJWF Championship on the line. Yes. I am choosing you for my next defense. A champion calling out a challenger is irregular but I am an irregular person. I will have my darkness fall over you no matter what. So accept this challenge and try to take my title. I will put everything on the line for you."

Match Five: J-ROK Tag Team Rules; 30 Minute Time Limit
Super Sake Presents: Off The Wagon Vs. Florida Man & Charles

Fumio Daemura: "(The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! And is a tag team exhibition match set to the standard J-ROK rules! Introducing first, at a combined weight of THREE-HUNDRED-AND-EIGHTY POUNDS, RANDY ANGEL AND KRIS QUAKE! SUPER SAKE PRESENTS: OFF THE WAGON!)"

Psycho KGB: "(Off The Wagon have been off their game lately, but with the Sakura Tag League recently announced they'll certainly look to get a step up on the game to have an edge in the competition.)"

MUSHI: "(Yeah, with Super Sake backing them, there's no doubt that their crazy influence will get them... somewhere. Maybe.)"

Fumio Daemura: "(And their opponents, at a combined weight of ONE-HUNDRED-AND-NINETY-EIGHT POUNDS AND EIGHT OUNCES, THE XHF JUNIOR HEAVWEIGHT CHAMPION FLORIDA MAN AND THE SUPER COOL SUPER REAL FELINE CHARLES! AMERICAN PUSSY!)"

Charles is already present in the ring. Florida Man comes down celebrating with his homies!

MUSHI: "(Woot! We've got a new global champ in da house!)"

Psycho KGB: "(And he's a crazy guy!)"

The bell rings and Florida Man starts this contest off, taking on the enigmatic Kris Quake! They showcase some of their high-flying moves, showing the older vs new Junior style of the XHF. Florida Man takes the control with some crazy kicks and martial arts moves only taught in the mystical land of Florida! Florida Man backs Kris into a corner, delivering some chops and strikes to the impersonator of the man of three H's. He pulls Kris up and drops him with a facebuster! Kris rolls away and Florida Man stalks after him, only to get kicked in the gut and dropped with a brainbuster! Kris crotch chops Florida Man and spits some mist up in the air, before running the ropes and splashing on Florida Man! He drags Florida Man over to his corner and Randy Angel grabs the tag rope.

Randy gets tagged in and begins to drunk brawl with Florida Man. Finally, something more his sty-YEOUCH! Randy goes for some sort of head grapple but slips his thumb into Florida Man's eye! Blinded, he holds one hand to his eye while wildly swinging his arm around, clocking Randy with a clothesline! Randy falls and Florida Man tags in Charles, throwing him at Randy! Randy just kind of catches Charles, unsure what to do with this super real super cool feline. He then just decides to do the inevitable and RANDY ANGEL NAILS THE DRUNK DROPPER ON CHARLES AND ROLLS HIM UP! IT'S QUICK AND EASY BUT OFF THE WAGON GET THE THREE COUNT!

Fumio Daemura: "(The winners of this match via pinfall, OFF THE WAGON!)"

MUSHI: "(Tough bout for Florida Man. Think he'll forgive his partner Charles after tonight?)"

Psycho KGB: "(Not a chance MUSHI. Not a chance.)"

Main Event: J-ROK New Wave Championship Match; J-ROK Singles Rules; 60 Minute Time Limit
OMI Vs. Hannah Rockford (C.)

Fumio Daemura: "(The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! And it is a singles match for the J-ROK NEW WAVE CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing the challenger, from Osaka Japan. Weighing in at ONE-HUNDRED-AND-FORTY-ONE POUNDS, OMI!)"

Fumio Daemura: "(And her opponent, from Wexford Town, County Wexford, Ireland. Weighing in at ONE-HUNDRED-AND-THIRTY-ONE POUNDS, THE J-ROK NEW WAVE CHAMPION HANNAH ROCKFORD!)"

The bell rang and things would get off to a hot start as OMI took a dominant start, beating Hannah all around the ring. It looked like Hannah was in trouble out of the get go with OMI just obliterating her but Hannah would bounce back after the half way mark, beginning to mount a comeback and pushing OMI into a corner with offense. Both women would trade tons of offense back and forth to get just a bit of an advantage but they were really on even footing here!

Things would end as OMI would try a few power moves, but Hannah managing to weasel her way out of everything. All it would take was some built up frustration and a swift GEN Z KNEE to secure the win for the champion!

Fumio Daemura: "(The winner of this match AND STILL J-ROK NEW WAVE CHAMPION, HANNAH ROCKFORD!)"

Hannah's music plays and she celebrates for a moment, before a sudden tapping sound is heard.

The vessel called Anna Daniels taps a live microphone with a finger just to make sure it works. Most of the crowd is confused by this because rarely does this happen. The Multitudes hate speaking in front of cameras unless it's important and meaningful which should tell you something about this whole thing. When the microphone finally gets near her lips, the voice that comes out is nicotine thick, snarked to fuck, and nearly cackling in not quite fluent Japanese.

Anna Daniels: (you know, looking at all your bright shining faces, we cannot help but wonder what we're doing here. we don't think it'll be a shock to say that J-ROK has not been our first priority. in fact, it has barely been a priority at all.)

There's a beat. Eyes look at the sky before settling onto the world again. A smirk begins to form.

Anna Daniels: (then again, we have been busy. incredibly so. in case you've been living under a rock, we've been busy being the standard bearer elsewhere.)

And in case you're blind as a bat, the DTW World Championship is literally on her left shoulder to the cheering of every miscreant that watches Hamas I Promotions religiously. Of course, it could be an illusion. Maybe she lost it to Aokigahara Zombie by the time this airs. Or maybe we're in a strange grey area. Wibbly wobbly timey wimey. The vocal cords shift into something less charred and much more sharp and clear, though the smirk never leaves.

Anna Daniels: (When you're the ONLY Champion That Matters not just in one promotion but in the entire country, that tends to take priority over halfassed stable wars. But a thought came to us literally five seconds ago. It's perfectly okay for other things to take priority. But it's not okay to completely start slumming it. That's what we kinda feel like we've been doing in J-ROK and honestly, we're kinda bored. So let's change that!)

The smirk changes to a smile. And now for the English portion of this whole thing. The voice changes again with the hint of an accent that has previously only been heard in old movies from the 1920's. It also smacks of playfulness.

Anna Daniels: Hannah Rockford. Let's get right to the point. We want the New Wave belt. And we are challenging you to a No Rope Exploding Barbed Wire Timebomb Deathmatch. You have two options. Option one, you accept our challenge and we'll beat the ever living hell out of each other. Option two? You reject our challenge, we'll take the long way around by smashing the entire roster and earn our place, THEN we beat the ever living hell out of each other. We personally have no preference either way.

Le shrug.

Anna Daniels: Up to you. Seeyanara.

Mic drop. Fade to the show logo. We out.