Lawful Evil: On the Line (Xtreme X*Mas #2)
Dec 10, 2021 20:42:53 GMT -5
Dave D-Flipz and mosler like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Dec 10, 2021 20:42:53 GMT -5
*The camera opens on Lord Dominicus. He is reclining on his bed holding a framed picture in one hand and touching it softly with the other. We spin around to reveal it is a photo of LD with El Combatiente’s manager, Javier holding up a big fish they just recently caught. Suddenly Dominicus’ cell phone starts to buzz, he throws the picture down without a care and picks it up.*
LD: You are on the line with Lord Dominicus, the DARK LORD OF CAR!
On the Line
*After a brief moment for the person on the other line to figure out they’re supposed to talk, we get the reply in a clearly digitally altered voice*
Voice: I heard what you said about me on TV.
LD: El Combatiente? I don’t think it’s proper etiquette to talk to each other directly right before a match- do you at least have a camera on you?
Voice: What?
LD: I didn’t even know you spoke English, what with the subtitles on your promos.
Voice: He- I- er. I’m not whoever you’re talking about. I speak English.
LD: Oh, Javier? I’m sorry but it’s too late to call this match off. You’ve broken my heart too deeply and now I’m going to beat your client with boxes of chocolates and throw flaming pictures of us at him.
Voice: Who- um- er- Ok, let me start again.
LD: I already told you that apologies won’t change anything.
Voice: I am the bringer of justice; the papers call me the Holiday Horror.
LD: OH!
*Quickly Dominicus points to something off camera, we zoom out to see that his room has a listening station set up with Theresa Beckett, the lead detective on the Holiday Horror case, at the dials or whatever those setups look like now. She gives him a thumbs up.*
LD: So Mr. Horror, you called to correct me on something I said about my match?
Voice: What? No, I-
LD: THAT’S RIGHT! Because everything I’ve said so far about Javier and El Combatiente has been correct. Oh sure, Mr. Combat tries to hide his wounded pride and talk about how he’s gotten these big wins here and there and how he was champ. But how many times does he mention his downright embarrassing exit from SWAT? Hmm? How about the fact that he completely dropped the ball on our team during the ANZAC Cup?
Voice: No, you misunderstand, I-
LD: Oh I’ve heard it all from the “happy couple.” El Combatiente blames me for being too EVIL in our wrestling and that somehow it was my fault the Maski Bois lost their match. Well that’s a load of hoo-ha, you hear me there, Holiday Horror? HOO-HA!
Voice: Look, if you’d just let me-
LD: Let you what? Try to get in more discussion on the much blustered about El Combatiente/Dylan Black combo? What a bunch of nonsense that is. They had what, like one match together? If they were such good friends then why did “The Combatant”- did you know that’s his real name?- up and join the Bang Bros, hmmm? And you know who isn’t in the Bang Bros?
Voice: …Is it Dylan Black?
LD: OH LOOK WHO’S PAYING ATTENTION! No instead he’s on my side of this war, as the Swinger’s Party shows.
*We quick cut to Detective Beckett as she mouths “Swingers party?” to herself, looking very confused.*
LD: And why? Because behind all that goody two-shoes talk is a coward. A man who needs to hide behind others just as much as he hides behind a mask. Think about his original XHF run, who did he hide behind? Venom. Oh sure, now he acts like Venom defrauded him and stole a title from him, but he agreed to that, didn’t he?
Voice: What I wanted to say was-
LD: And then he shows up on the shores of the XHF Network and in SWAT and who’s he hiding behind? Javier Nunez, a prince of a man, or so I thought. Then when that isn’t going real well, because Javier knows real talent and El Combatiente’s refusal to punch a few dicks means he won’t do what it takes- where does he hide next?
Voice: You seem really-
LD: HE HIDES BEHIND SOMEONE WHO’LL PUNCH EVERY DICK! That’s right, everyone’s favorite two-note luchador suddenly teams with NPW’s former and ONLY EVER Triple Crown Champion and current CAR Athletic Cup holder-
*He points the phone at his groin and points with his other hand.*
LD: I am pointing at the title, since this isn’t a video call. Do you want to make this a video call so you can see?
Voice: No. I-
LD: Where was I? So here good-old EC is hiding behind me in the ANZAC Cup. But can he actually contribute? NO! He’s terrible! No wonder Javier had been seeing me on the sly for months.
Voice: Months?
LD: MONTHS! And since he couldn’t pull his weight it went south, OF COURSE. And what did he do next? Sure he’ll try to say some stuff about his SWAT World Heavyweight Championship run, but when you’re up against Psychotic Goth and Rally Jackson you really don’t need to try to sound like a big dog. No, what he was really doing was hiding behind others some more. First Dylan Black and then the Bang Bros.
Voice: I see.
LD: If only everyone else would. El Combatiente is so flat he needs others to prop him up in order to succeed. Ok sure, his team won Call to Arms, but what did you expect with an all-star lineup that had THREE X*Crown Champions on it? Do you know how many former champions were on my team? None! And we nearly beat them anyway. So El Combatiente can talk all he wants but the truth is that he is a paper thin wall that keeps me and Javier from happiness. And at Xtreme X*mas: O Violent Night, I’m going to tear through that wall just to spit on Javier for his terrible decision making skills in sticking with El Combatiente.
Voice: Are you done?
LD: I mean, what else is there to talk about? You called me about the match, right?
Voice: No, I called about the segment you did with the profile on me.
LD: Oh! That. What about it?
Voice: You were wrong about everything.
LD: Are you sure?
Voice: Yes.
LD: Yeah but like, are you really sure? That was compiled by professionals, not me.
Voice: Yes, everything was wrong.
LD: That’s it?
Voice: Honestly I had this big speech laid out but you just kept talking and I forgot most of it.
LD: It was probably stupid anyway.
Voice: You’re stupid; I hope you lose your match.
*There’s a click as the Holiday Horror hangs up on Lord Dominicus.*
LD: Rude.
*He sets the phone down and looks at Detective Beckett.*
LD: Well, did it work? Were you able to trace his call?
Beckett: Uh yeah, we had it when I gave you the thumbs up. Why did you talk so long?
LD: I was trying to help, you know because in movies people keep the killers on the line so it can be traced.
Beckett: Uh, yeah, that tech has massively improved since the 90’s.
LD: Well I certainly wasn’t talking that long because I’m working through my own conflicted feelings as I go into this match against the client of my former best friend in the world.
Beckett: Ok... Anyway it doesn’t matter. The caller must have been using a whole heck of a lot of software, the call ended up being traced to somewhere within the house…
*Dominicus quietly white knuckles his bedsheets.*
Beckett: …Which basically means he spoofed the location. Your house has been under lock down and is completely secure.
*He relaxes*
LD: Oh, well that’s good.
Beckett: Yeah, except it means all this waiting for him to respond to your false profile was a waste of time and we’re back at zero again.
LD: I see. Well don’t worry Theresa, I’ll give El Combatiente an extra punch just for you!
Beckett: That uh…that doesn’t really make me feel better.
*We get a classic DominiThink pose*
LD: I see. Non-wrestling conversations are awkward sometimes.
*Detective Beckett yawns as she starts to pack up her stuff.*
Beckett: Anyway, I’m gonna head out. This was all a massive waste of time and we’ve gotten nothing out of it. Good luck or whatever on your match.
*Dominicus jumps into a standing position and proudly poses, making sure to accentuate the CAR Athletic Cup golden jockstrap on his groin as he points to the camera.*
LD: I DON’T NEED LUCK! I HAVE THE EVIL SKILLS TO PAY THE EVIL BILLS! El Combatiente won’t even know what hit him at Xtreme X*Mas! I mean, he will, I guess, but maybe not because of my SUPER DARK SPEED! Merry X*Mas, Javier! NOT!
*He then poses proudly as Detective Beckett sighs and the camera fades.*
LD: You are on the line with Lord Dominicus, the DARK LORD OF CAR!
On the Line
*After a brief moment for the person on the other line to figure out they’re supposed to talk, we get the reply in a clearly digitally altered voice*
Voice: I heard what you said about me on TV.
LD: El Combatiente? I don’t think it’s proper etiquette to talk to each other directly right before a match- do you at least have a camera on you?
Voice: What?
LD: I didn’t even know you spoke English, what with the subtitles on your promos.
Voice: He- I- er. I’m not whoever you’re talking about. I speak English.
LD: Oh, Javier? I’m sorry but it’s too late to call this match off. You’ve broken my heart too deeply and now I’m going to beat your client with boxes of chocolates and throw flaming pictures of us at him.
Voice: Who- um- er- Ok, let me start again.
LD: I already told you that apologies won’t change anything.
Voice: I am the bringer of justice; the papers call me the Holiday Horror.
LD: OH!
*Quickly Dominicus points to something off camera, we zoom out to see that his room has a listening station set up with Theresa Beckett, the lead detective on the Holiday Horror case, at the dials or whatever those setups look like now. She gives him a thumbs up.*
LD: So Mr. Horror, you called to correct me on something I said about my match?
Voice: What? No, I-
LD: THAT’S RIGHT! Because everything I’ve said so far about Javier and El Combatiente has been correct. Oh sure, Mr. Combat tries to hide his wounded pride and talk about how he’s gotten these big wins here and there and how he was champ. But how many times does he mention his downright embarrassing exit from SWAT? Hmm? How about the fact that he completely dropped the ball on our team during the ANZAC Cup?
Voice: No, you misunderstand, I-
LD: Oh I’ve heard it all from the “happy couple.” El Combatiente blames me for being too EVIL in our wrestling and that somehow it was my fault the Maski Bois lost their match. Well that’s a load of hoo-ha, you hear me there, Holiday Horror? HOO-HA!
Voice: Look, if you’d just let me-
LD: Let you what? Try to get in more discussion on the much blustered about El Combatiente/Dylan Black combo? What a bunch of nonsense that is. They had what, like one match together? If they were such good friends then why did “The Combatant”- did you know that’s his real name?- up and join the Bang Bros, hmmm? And you know who isn’t in the Bang Bros?
Voice: …Is it Dylan Black?
LD: OH LOOK WHO’S PAYING ATTENTION! No instead he’s on my side of this war, as the Swinger’s Party shows.
*We quick cut to Detective Beckett as she mouths “Swingers party?” to herself, looking very confused.*
LD: And why? Because behind all that goody two-shoes talk is a coward. A man who needs to hide behind others just as much as he hides behind a mask. Think about his original XHF run, who did he hide behind? Venom. Oh sure, now he acts like Venom defrauded him and stole a title from him, but he agreed to that, didn’t he?
Voice: What I wanted to say was-
LD: And then he shows up on the shores of the XHF Network and in SWAT and who’s he hiding behind? Javier Nunez, a prince of a man, or so I thought. Then when that isn’t going real well, because Javier knows real talent and El Combatiente’s refusal to punch a few dicks means he won’t do what it takes- where does he hide next?
Voice: You seem really-
LD: HE HIDES BEHIND SOMEONE WHO’LL PUNCH EVERY DICK! That’s right, everyone’s favorite two-note luchador suddenly teams with NPW’s former and ONLY EVER Triple Crown Champion and current CAR Athletic Cup holder-
*He points the phone at his groin and points with his other hand.*
LD: I am pointing at the title, since this isn’t a video call. Do you want to make this a video call so you can see?
Voice: No. I-
LD: Where was I? So here good-old EC is hiding behind me in the ANZAC Cup. But can he actually contribute? NO! He’s terrible! No wonder Javier had been seeing me on the sly for months.
Voice: Months?
LD: MONTHS! And since he couldn’t pull his weight it went south, OF COURSE. And what did he do next? Sure he’ll try to say some stuff about his SWAT World Heavyweight Championship run, but when you’re up against Psychotic Goth and Rally Jackson you really don’t need to try to sound like a big dog. No, what he was really doing was hiding behind others some more. First Dylan Black and then the Bang Bros.
Voice: I see.
LD: If only everyone else would. El Combatiente is so flat he needs others to prop him up in order to succeed. Ok sure, his team won Call to Arms, but what did you expect with an all-star lineup that had THREE X*Crown Champions on it? Do you know how many former champions were on my team? None! And we nearly beat them anyway. So El Combatiente can talk all he wants but the truth is that he is a paper thin wall that keeps me and Javier from happiness. And at Xtreme X*mas: O Violent Night, I’m going to tear through that wall just to spit on Javier for his terrible decision making skills in sticking with El Combatiente.
Voice: Are you done?
LD: I mean, what else is there to talk about? You called me about the match, right?
Voice: No, I called about the segment you did with the profile on me.
LD: Oh! That. What about it?
Voice: You were wrong about everything.
LD: Are you sure?
Voice: Yes.
LD: Yeah but like, are you really sure? That was compiled by professionals, not me.
Voice: Yes, everything was wrong.
LD: That’s it?
Voice: Honestly I had this big speech laid out but you just kept talking and I forgot most of it.
LD: It was probably stupid anyway.
Voice: You’re stupid; I hope you lose your match.
*There’s a click as the Holiday Horror hangs up on Lord Dominicus.*
LD: Rude.
*He sets the phone down and looks at Detective Beckett.*
LD: Well, did it work? Were you able to trace his call?
Beckett: Uh yeah, we had it when I gave you the thumbs up. Why did you talk so long?
LD: I was trying to help, you know because in movies people keep the killers on the line so it can be traced.
Beckett: Uh, yeah, that tech has massively improved since the 90’s.
LD: Well I certainly wasn’t talking that long because I’m working through my own conflicted feelings as I go into this match against the client of my former best friend in the world.
Beckett: Ok... Anyway it doesn’t matter. The caller must have been using a whole heck of a lot of software, the call ended up being traced to somewhere within the house…
*Dominicus quietly white knuckles his bedsheets.*
Beckett: …Which basically means he spoofed the location. Your house has been under lock down and is completely secure.
*He relaxes*
LD: Oh, well that’s good.
Beckett: Yeah, except it means all this waiting for him to respond to your false profile was a waste of time and we’re back at zero again.
LD: I see. Well don’t worry Theresa, I’ll give El Combatiente an extra punch just for you!
Beckett: That uh…that doesn’t really make me feel better.
*We get a classic DominiThink pose*
LD: I see. Non-wrestling conversations are awkward sometimes.
*Detective Beckett yawns as she starts to pack up her stuff.*
Beckett: Anyway, I’m gonna head out. This was all a massive waste of time and we’ve gotten nothing out of it. Good luck or whatever on your match.
*Dominicus jumps into a standing position and proudly poses, making sure to accentuate the CAR Athletic Cup golden jockstrap on his groin as he points to the camera.*
LD: I DON’T NEED LUCK! I HAVE THE EVIL SKILLS TO PAY THE EVIL BILLS! El Combatiente won’t even know what hit him at Xtreme X*Mas! I mean, he will, I guess, but maybe not because of my SUPER DARK SPEED! Merry X*Mas, Javier! NOT!
*He then poses proudly as Detective Beckett sighs and the camera fades.*
