Post by Matt on Dec 17, 2021 22:47:51 GMT -5
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BRING YOUR OWN WEAPONS MATCH
Wicked vs. The Robinsons
Lobo: Fans, this next match is going to be a bloodbath.
Sir Oliver: That’s one way of putting it. These teams have been at each other and made no bones about wanting to put the other team on a shelf.
V: Like, I was really anticipating this match. This was made to order for me.
Lobo: Then let’s not keep the little lady waiting any longer.
(Cut to the ring)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is a bring your own weapons match. It is set for one fall with a 1 hour time limit.
V: I hope it goes the full hour.
Lobo: I doubt that either team can last a full hour. It’s going to be brutal.
*Anderson: Introducing first, hailing from the great state of New York, they are Jumbo and Jett... THE ROBINSON FAMILY!!!
"If you're ready for this... (say you're ready for this!!!)?"
"If you're ready for this... (say you're ready for this!!!)?"
[The sounds of "That's the Joint" by Funky 4+1 play through the loudspeakers as Jumbo and Jett, The Robinson Family, enter to cheers. The two young boys have smiles as wide as can be as they do a little dance to their theme music. The pair are wearing black and gold trunks with matching boots.]
"THAT"S THE JOINT"
[Their brother Junior follows shortly behind them in a wheelchair at the top of the ramp. Still smiling, Jumbo picks Jett up on his shoulder and runs down the ring. Once they get to the bottom, Jett leaps off of his brother and into the ring. The pair milk the crowd for cheers as their brother and manager Junior wheels himself down to the ring after them.]
V: They didn’t bring any weapons.
Lobo: They will be delivered later.
*Anderson: And their opponents… UP Wrestling proudly presents - Vicious and Vile! The team that can only be - WICKED!!!
(The lights drop. The heavy pulsating beat of "Hearse of the Pharaohs" by Witchery thunders out from the PA system. Slowly the lights gradually brighten to reveal a fog shrouded ramp, onto which step Wicked. A giant, dark haired brute of a man stands next to a beautiful, but hard featured woman. He is clad entirely in black. She in white Both have matching blood red inverted pentacles on their vests. The crowds BOOS loudly, but the pair merely scowl at them as they arrogantly make their way to the ring.)
Sir Oliver: Wicked does tremendous damage with just what’s at hand in the ring. I can only imagine what they can do with weaponry.
V: **giggling** Yeah, me too.
Lobo: Here comes a wagon with a tarp over it.
Sir Oliver: And here comes somebody dressed up in full protective gear as he leads Paz down to the ring.
V: Paz is being peaceful. For now.
Lobo: Yeah, the calm before the storm.
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: And we’re ready to go. Both Vicious and Jett Robinson leap down out of the ring to grab a weapon. Vicious picks up Paz’s leash and climbs into the ring, Paz right behind him. Jett picks up the barbed wire bat and climbs back into the ring and turns just in time to see Paz snarling and heading toward him.
Sir Oliver: Looks like that barbed wire bat will come in handy.
V: I don’t know. Paz is pretty big and nasty. I mean, like, look what he did to Ruby’s hand.
Lobo: Paz leaps at Jett and knocks him down, Paz puts his face right up to Jett’s and growls. Jett tosses Paz off, sending him sailing out of the ring and landing on the floor. Vile grabs a weed whacker from the pile and tosses it into Vicious.
Sir Oliver: This is going to be nasty. I can see it already.
Lobo: Jett gets back up on his feet and picks the barbed wire bat up just as Vicious starts up the weed whacker and takes it Jett’s legs, leaving deep cuts in the shins. Jett swings the bat and connects with Vicious’ side, drawing blood of his own. Vicious barely notices it and comes back in for another pass with the weed whacker. Jett manages to dodge it and get to his corner to make the tag.
V: This is great! I do hope that Paz is OK.
Sir Oliver: Vile is over by him and checking on him. Paz is back on his feet and looks longingly into the ring.
Lobo: Jumbo grabs a shovel from the pile before he enters the ring.
Sir Oliver: It looks like Vile has had enough of the one weapon at a time nonsense. She’s taken the entire wagon of weaponry and deposited them in the ring.
V: Good! That’ll make it easier to gain access.
Lobo: Jumbo swings the shovel at Vicious who ducks it. Vicious tosses the weed whacker and heads to the pile of weaponry. Vicious grabs the kitchen sink. Vicious charges Jumbo who takes a swing with the shovel and clangs against the sink.
Sir Oliver: It appears that the shovel has broken. Evidently it was not made to hit a kitchen sink.
V: However, that DOES leave Jumbo with a nice spear.
Lobo: Not for long. Vicious grabs the shovel handle from Jumbo and spins it like a quarterstaff.
V: Yipee!
Lobo: Jumbo dives for the pile and grabs the taser. He triggers it and hits Vicious with a jolt. Vicious stiffens momentarily then stumbles back to his corner to tag Vile in.
V: Oooh. Like, Vile is even more dangerous than Vicious. She stops and gets the cheese grater.
Lobo: Sounds right to me. Vile likes to get up close and personal with her violence.
Sir Oliver: Did you see the way she looked at that cheese grater?
V: Like, yeah. She looked like she was in love.
Lobo: Jumbo goes to the weapon pile and pulls out a prosthetic leg. Jumbo swings the leg like a bat but Vile ducks it. Vile gets in close and….OH MY GOD!
Sir Oliver: I do hope that Jumbo wasn’t planning on having children any time soon.
V: I knew Vile was brutal, but using a cheese grater on Jumbo’s groin…like Ewww! Remind me to have that washed before it gets returned to the kitchen.
Lobo: Jumbo grabs himself and goes to the mat. Vile laughs as she takes the cheese grater to Jumbo’s face. She’s raking it across his forehead and down his nose. Jumbo’s face looks like a hamburger.
Sir Oliver: Jumbo is close to the pile. He reaches back and finds the pepper spray. Jumbo sprays Vile in the face with the pepper spray.
V: That made her stop. Like, I’ll bet that burns!
Lobo: Vile staggers back and tags Vicious back in the ring. Jumbo makes it back and tags Jett back in as well.
Sir Oliver: What is that in Jett’s hand?
Lobo: It looks like a pair of cuffs!
V: Like, that’ll even the odds considerably.
Lobo: Jett surprises Vicious by grabbing him by the wrist and whipping him hard into a corner. Jett races over and cuffs Vicious to the rope.
Sir Oliver: Oh, I say. That will most assuredly limit his mobility and ability to fight back.
V: Maybe not enough. Like, Vicious is very resourceful.
Lobo: Jett picks up a handful of peppers and walks casually up to Vicious. Jett ducks the wild swing Vicious directed at him. Jett takes the peppers and stuffs them into Vicious' mouth, then holds his nose and has his hand over Vicious' mouth so he can’t spit them out.
Sir Oliver: If I am not mistaken, those are not just any pepper. Those are Carolina Reapers, the hottest pepper in the world.
V: Like, those are over 2 million scovilles. I know that the chef has to wear gloves when he cooks with them.
Sir Oliver: My word! What dish would you possibly want to put that pepper in?
V: It makes some unbelievable chili. Like, it’s really funny to serve it to our unsuspecting dinner guests.
Lobo: Yes, I can believe that.
Sir Oliver: It does appear that Vile is not going to allow her husband to be abused quite like that. She is helping Paz back into the ring. Paz charges Jett and leaps at him, driving him to the mat. Jett rolls out of the way and Paz is right on top of him.
V: It looks like Paz wants to get some revenge on Jett. Like, I don’t think he appreciated being tossed out of the ring.
Lobo: Paz smells blood! He’s leaving Jett and charging Jumbo in the corner! He’s heading straight for Jumbo’s crotch!
V: Like, the dog definitely knows where to go to disable somebody quickly.
Lobo: Jumbo leaps into the ring and picks up the armor. He swings it at Paz. Vile leaps into the ring and charges Jett.
Sir Oliver: Well, this certainly devolved quickly.
V: I like it better this way! Let all 4 of them mix it up!
Lobo: Vile pulls Paz back just before Jumbo can swing the armor and hit the dog. Vile picks up a kendo stick and smashes Jumbo hard on the side of the head, sending him sprawling. Jett picks up the steel chair and smashes it across the back of Vile’s head, sending her to her knees.
Sir Oliver: Jumbo is looking around
Lobo: Something is wrong here?
Sir Oliver: What is this bloke thinking?
V: Like, Jumbo is reaching down into his trunks and pulling out a key!!!
Lobo: Is Jumbo Robinson going to UNCUFF Vicious?
V: Like, I never thought it possible, but he must be even dumber than I initially thought!
Sir Oliver: Jumbo is uncuffing Vicious. Vicious has no idea what is going on!.
Jumbo: I am one with the pain!!!!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Lobo: Vicious isn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth! He starts clubbing Jumbo with huge forearm smashes while Jumbo fires back with blows of his own to Vicious' head. Jumbo with a headbutt that doesn’t faze Vicious one bit.
Sir Oliver: Meanwhile Paz is still trying to get at Jumbo, however Jett manages to shove Paz out of the ring once again.
V: Poor doggie! I hope Wicked will give him a special treat after the show.
Lobo: I’m sure they have half a cow stored in the back for him.
Sir Oliver: I wouldn’t be surprised if it were a whole herd of cattle.
Lobo: Jumbo and Vicious tumble out to the floor where they continue to trade heavy blows. Meanwhile, in the ring, Jett and Vile are still going at it. Vile has the cheese grater once again and Jett has a kendo stick.
V: Like, it’s taking a gun to a knife fight.
Lobo: I don’t blame him. He wants to stay as far away from that cheese grater as possible.
Sir Oliver: You mean, he wants to keep his groin as far away from the cheese grater as possible.
Lobo: As you would say…quite.
V: Oh Lord! Don’t tell me you BOTH are going to speak like a couple of Limey goofballs.
Lobo: As YOU would say…Like no way!
V: Now you’re mocking me. Like, I’m sure mother wouldn’t be happy to hear this.
Lobo: I apologize.
V: Gotcha!
Lobo: WATCH OUT! Jumbo and Vicious are busily trading blows and they’re headed this way!
V: THEY’RE COMING RIGHT AT ME!
Sir Oliver: I have you young lady.
(Sir Oliver pulls Vee out of the way as both Vicious and Jumbo crash through the table, turning it to splinters.)
V: Like, that was close!
Sir Oliver: You’re welcome young miss.
V: Like, whatever.
Lobo: Jett swings the kendo stick and strikes Vile on the legs, taking her legs out from under her. Jett hauls her to her feet and starts in delivering the Robinson Special #2. He starts to pepper her face with a flurry of jabs, driving her backwards.
Sir Oliver: Quite an impressive maneuver there as Jett turns his back on Vile, never a good idea, and does a backward somersault and follows up with a Pele kick. Vile goes down.
Edwards: 1…2…3!
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this match are THE ROBINSONS!
Lobo: Jumbo smashes one of the monitors on Vicious' head and races back to the ring to celebrate with his brother.
Sir Oliver: Jumbo grabs Jett in a big bear hug and Jett hugs him back as they dance in the ring.
V: Vicious is coming around and Vile looks ready to sic Paz on them once again.
Lobo: The Robinsons beat a hasty retreat to the back, celebrating all the way.
SIN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
"The Professional" Rain Blackheart vs. ??????
*Anderson: “Our next match is for the SIN CITY CHAAAAAAAAAMPIONSHIP!!!!!”
Crowd: “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”
*Anderson: “From Lexington, Kentucky... he stands at five foot eleven inches tall and weighs in tonight at two hundred and ten pounds... representing the Black Hand with his business manager Terrance Christopher… He is the SIN CITY CHAMPION… THE PROFESSIONAL RAIN BLACKHEART!”
["Still Unbroken" by Lynyrd Skynyrd to play as Rain walks out to the ring with a three-quarter length black leather coat with a hood over his head. His black pants with the Black Hand logo on the right leg in silver and his personal logo of a black heart with a blade piercing it outlined in silver on the left, black boots with silver kick pads, silver knee and elbow pads and the trademark black glove on his right hand. He strolls out with his manager, Terrance Christopher a step behind, dressed in a custom made 3-piece suit, alligator shoes, ivory walking stick and a black glove on his right hand also. Rain walks into the ring wearing the belt, takes it off and raises it to the crowd with his gloved hand.]
Crowd: “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
Lobo: “A mixed reaction for the Sin City Champion.”
Sir Oliver: “This crowd doesn’t know whether to cheer or to boo him!”
*Anderson: “His opponent… is the winner of the VENDETTA fan voting contest…”
V: “Who will it be???!”
*Anderson: “Ladies and Gentlemen - at only 5'4" and weighing in at just 115 pounds - all the way from the Land of the Fairies! The incredible.....PIXILICIOUS!”
Crowd: “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Sir Oliver: Now SHE’S someone the crowd can get behind.”
V: “Whatta buncha idiots!”
(Tomdandy's "Rooftop" hits and a glittering curtain of pink confetti falls above the ramp. Stepping through it comes Pixilicious. Clad all in pink, her daring and revealing costume compels the camera and all present to star. Pixi throws her arms wide, scattering glittering pink dust to left and right before skipping and bouncing her way to the ring, slapping hands with the fans as she does.
In the centre of the ring she folds over, her long green hair falling to the mat. She stamps her foot three times and claps in unison, before exploding upwards, both arms high and wide, yelling PIXIE POWER! Smiling confidently, she then takes her corner.)
[The two wait in their respective turnbuckles and stare in the direction of Elijah Anderson.]
Lobo: “Rain Blackheart asked for the stipulation not to be revealed before the match.”
Sir Oliver: “The presents just keep coming this holiday season. THE SUSPENSE!”
Elijah Anderson: “As decided by a D20 DICE ROLL… THE STIPULATION FOR THIS MATCH WILL BE….”
*Anderson: “A THIRTY MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH!!!!”
Crowd: “YEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”
V: “You mean I have to sit here for thirty whole minutes? My bladder!”
Lobo: “Yes, you will! Our timekeeper is placing a 30 minute time limit, whoever has the most pinfalls at the end of the time period will win.”
Sir Oliver: “One would have to think this match favors the champion in Rain Blackheart. Pixilicious relies on a high flyer offense that tends to tire a person out.”
[…..]
Lobo: “Oh boy.”
["Higher Place" by Journey plays as RON MASTERSON walks through the curtain!]
Sir Oliver: “What is HE doing here?”
Lobo: “Could he have used his CHRISTMAS CHAOS prize?”
V: “What a load of garbage. Like, who would ever want to see Ron Masterson?”
[Dressed in his ring gear and a dark brown leather vest, Ron slaps hands with the fans, all smiles, while Donnie D. Falco follows close behind, doing the same. Ron walks up the steps and onto the apron, where he wipes his feet and nods to the fans before stepping between the ropes. Falco makes his way to a corner while Ron removes his ring jacket and hands it to him.]
*Anderson: “This match is now a THREE WAY DANCE for the SIN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP! Hailing from Phoenix, Arizona, standing at six feet one inch tall, and weighing in at two hundred and fifty-one pounds... he is the Thunder Kid... RON MASTERSON!!!”
[All three competitors stand in the ring and we begin our match.]
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: “This is crazy, a three way IRON MAN… or woman… match for the Sin City title. Sir Oliver, do you still think Rain Blackheart is the favorite here?”
Sir Oliver: “Well, Ron Masterson throws everything out of whack. It’s all CHAOS. Crikey!”
[Pixilicious rushes at the champion Rain Blackheart, Rain ducks down for a back body drop, flipping Pixilicious in the air, she lands on her feet. She turns around, Rain turns around, roundhouse kick from Pixilicious, Rain ducks, but gets leg swept from behind by Ron Masterson. Ron Masterson lunges at Pixilicious, but gets met with a DROPKICK from her. Pixilicious and Rain Blackheart are up, Ron Masterson kips up to his feet! The three stare at each other.]
Lobo: “Oh boy, we’re in for a good one, aren’t we Sir Oliver?”
Sir Oliver: “Yes, all three of these chaps are masters of endurance.”
Crowd: CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!!!!!
[Ron Masterson tries to catch Rain Blackheart with a kick to the gut, Rain catches it the leg and elbows it with one arm while still holding on so now both men are on the ground with Rain applying a submission hold. Pixilicious breaks it up.]
[She picks Rain Blackheart up and hits a quick swinging neckbreaker! Ron Masterson is next and the two lock up, Pixilicious breaks the lock up and hits a palm strike, followed by ANOTHER palm strike… Ron Masters backs up against the ropes, he bounces off and attempts a clothesline, Pixilicious moves out of the way, but Ron Masterson expects it and hits a FULL NELSON SLAM!]
Lobo: “Incredible… our three competitors are jockeying for position here, we’ll see if any of them can gain the upper hand!”
[Rain Blackheart and Ron Masterson face each other. Rain Blackheart hits a punch to Ron Masterson’s face, Ron follows up with some of his own. Rain dodges one and switches into repeated ELBOW STRIKES to Ron’s head, pushing him up against the ropes and continuing to make MUSH of his face!]
Crowd: “…SEVEN… EIGHT… NINE… TEN...”
[Ron Masterson comes away dazed… Rain finishes him off with a clothesline plus the pin!]
Edwards: “ONE!!!!”
Lobo: “Pixilicious breaks up the count!”
Sir Oliver: ‘Wow! Look at Masterson’s face!!!”
V: “Yeah, that’s what I like to see.. serves that fool right! Like, no one wanted him here!”
[Ron’s face might be bloody but he still gets up relatively quickly. Pixilicious and Blackheart trade punches… Blackheart tries to grab Pixilicious… he doesn’t try he does… BELLY to BELLY SUPLEX! Pixilicious is up… Blackheart tries again for the grab… but this time gets met with a brutal JUMPING KNEE STRIKE from Pixilicious!]
[Ron Masterson grabs Pixilicious and tries to pick her up, she gives resistance. He is bent down, so she elbows his back. She finally breaks free and bounces herself off of the ropes…]
Lobo: “Pixilicious runs right into a ROLLING SLAM from THE THUNDER KID! Wait, Ron is holding on… TEXAS CLOVERLEAF from Masterson! Could we have our FIRST pin?”
[No, because Pixilicious scoots her way to the ropes. She scooted pretty quickly, but it took something out of her. She takes a breath before getting up. It’s Rain and Masterson again… Rain sets Ron up… looks like he’s going for the flatliner… Ron reverses and gets his back… could be going for the back suplex… Rain reverses again, only for Ron to reverse….]
Sir Oliver: “Watch out blokes!!!!”
Lobo: “Pixilicious with a CROSS BODY SPLASH on BOTH MEN!”
[Pixilicious rolls the champion Rain Blackheart up.]
Edwards: “One…. TWO…” [KICKOUT!!!]
[Pixilicious figures since the top rope worked before she might as well try it again. Both men are slow to get up. She hesitates and that’s enough time for Ron Masterson to shake the ropes and put her in a compromised position on the turnbuckle. Rain Blackheart jumps on the turnbuckle and puts Pixilicious in a headlock….]
Crowd: “YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!”
Lobo: “Suplex off the top rope from BLACKHEART!!!!! BUT LOOK!”
[Ron Masterson wastes no time picking up Rain Blackheart, hooking his leg and picking him up…]
Lobo: “HERO’S CALL! HERO’S CALL FROM MASTERSON!”
[Masterson hooks the leg for a pin!]
Edwards: “ONE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! THREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!”
Lobo: “The champion has been pinned! The CHAMPION has been pinned!”
Sir Oliver: “Wouldn’t have called that as the first pin of the night.”
V: “No, Rain Blackheart is the closest thing to a talent and a good person up there. Hate to see it happen to him.”
------------------------
Pin COUNT:
Ron Masterson: 1
Rain Blackheart: 0
Pixilicious: 0
------------------------
Lobo: “Ron Masterson is bloodied but he is the freshest person in this match. One would think that he only has to play defense from here on in, no?”
Sir Oliver: “Well there is a lot of time left-“
*Anderson: “There are TWENTY MINUTES left in this match!”
Sir Oliver: “Well, twenty minutes, that was very timely!”
[Masterson is up but Blackheart and Pixilicious are slow to get up. Masterson pick up Blackheart again and hook him for ANOTHER Hero’s Call… but Blackheart is too fast and gets behind him…]
Lobo: “KATA HAJIME!!!”
[Masterson goes down but Pixilicious stands over both of them. She starts stomping on Blackheart's head, making Blackheart break the hold! She picks Blackheart up…]
!!! CHOP !!!
Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
!!! CHOP !!!
Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
!!! CHOP !!!
Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
[Blackheart staggers backward… Pixilicious goes for another chop… but Blackheart goes low… he grabs her legs, sweeping her. Then he climbs over to put on another KATA HAJIME!!!]
Lobo: “Could this be it for Pixilicious? No! Masterson breaks it up!”
[All three competitors are up now. Pixilicious and Masterson are breathing heavily due to the submission attempts from Blackheart. Blackheart is banged up due to the Hero’s call from Masterson. They’re all a mess and there is still a while to go!]
[Blackheart fakes like he’s going for Masterson but instead goes for Pixilicious… grabbing her by the waist for a quick elbow before tossing her to the ropes, he swings at her upon her return but she ducks and bounces off the opposite rope... Cross body block from Pixilicious! Blackheart is up, Pixilicious lunches at Blackheart, Blackheart throws Pixilicious against the ropes AGAIN-no! She reverses and throws Blackheart against the ropes. Blackheart stops his momentum and instead crawls under the ropes to the apron. Blackheart pulls back the top rope in some kind of slingshot maneuver…]
Crowd: “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
Lobo: “Masterson with the DROPKICK to Blackheart sending him flying! He didn’t see him coming!”
Sir Lobo: “That bloke looks hurt! Rough night at the office for the champion!”
[Pixilicious and Ron Masterson stand face to face. Masterson goes for a punch instead to get hit with a KNEE from Pixilicious… Masterson staggers backward. Pixilicious goes for the knee strike again, but Masterson steps out of the way and hits a DISCUS CLOTHESLINE on Pixilicious! Masterson picks her up and hooks the leg…]
Lobo: “Could Masterson be going for TWO here?”
[No! Pixilicious breaks the hold and hits a PARALYZING NERVE STRIKE…]
[…. Followed by a SPINNING CHOP to the throat…]
[… Followed by a SCISSOR CHOP to the throat…]
[…She then bounces off the rope and does a HANDSTAND KICK right to Masterson’s blooded face. He drops down to the ground. Pixilicious pins him…]
Edwards: “One….”
Edwards: “Two…”
Edwards: “Three!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
------------------------
Pin COUNT:
Ron Masterson: 1
Pixilicious: 1
Rain Blackheart: 0
------------------------
Lobo: “And this is a competition now… with both Masterson and Pixilicious tied at one.”
Sir Oliver: “The former champion, Blackheart, is the only one that hasn’t scored yet, poor chap!”
V: “Have they even said what would happen in the event of a tie? Does Rain Blackheart just retain his title? Do they even think these things through?”
Lobo: “Isn’t your mother the one who makes these decisions?”
V: “So what? Like, I can’t criticize my mother?”
[Rain Blackheart slides himself back into the ring. Ron Masterson is out cold. Rain Blackheart sneaks up behind Pixilicious, taking out her knees. He follows up with a number of elbow strikes to her head.]
Lobo: “Rain Blackheart left Ron Masterson a bloody mess with his strikes earlier in the match. Now Pixilicious is getting battered with them”
[Blackheart picks Pixilicious up by the hair, SUPLEX!!! He holds on… hits another SUPLEX… He goes for a third… broken up by Ron Masterson, who is still reeling from the combo as of Pixilicious earlier. A quick knee to Ron Masterson’s kneeling body sends him back to the canvas. Blackheart continues his onslaught on Pixilicious!]
[Rain Blackheart… goes for another suplex… but it’s countered by Pixilicious into a DDT! She quickly goes to the top turnbuckle… she jumps off… SPLASH!]
Lobo: “No! Blackheart moved out of the way! Very quick thinking from the champion!”
[Blackheart, picks Pixlicious up and places her standing against the corner turnbuckle…ELBOW to the FACE from Blackheart. Followed by another. And another! And another! And another! Masterson is in the mix now… he turns Blackheart around and PUNCHES him in the gut!]
[All three competitors are near the turnbuckle now…Masterson sandwiches both Pixlicious and Blackheart together, then gets a running start…]
Lobo: “The Thunder Kid is a big guy what’s he going to do here… CROSSBODY SPLASH!!!”
Sir Oliver: “But the champion moved out of the way!”
V: “He still got that brat Pixilicious, though!”
[Pixilicious is reeling. Masterson may have hurt himself with that cross body splash as he looks faded along with the combo from Pixilicious earlier… Still Pixilicious jumps on the top turnbuckle in a sitting position, grabbing Masterson from behind and laying in some shots to his head.]
Crowd: “One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine-“
[Ron Masterson dazed, picks up Pixilicious so she’s seated on his shoulders.]
Sir Oliver: “Oh boy, this can’t be good…”
[Masterson stumbles slowly to the center of the ring, Pixilicious still on his shoulders. Rain Blackheart is now crouched down and looking at the two… he has mischief on his mind]
CROWD: “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”
Lobo: “SPEAR FROM RAIN BLACKHEART!!! SPEAR FROM RAIN BLACKHEART!!!!!”
Sir Oliver: “Pixilicious landed pretty badly too!
*Anderson: “There are ten minutes left in the match!”
Lobo: “Time is running out for Rain Blackheart, who has yet to score a pinfall or submission in this contest.
[All three competitors are down, but Blackheart is the first to get up, followed by Pixilicious. They trade blows: Pixilicious with a kick, followed by Rain Blackheart with a punch, Pixilicious tries another kick, but Blackheart throws her against the ropes, she jumps over Masterson in the process and returns with a HURRICANRANA that sends Blackheart huddled against the ropes...]
[Pixilicious goes to the top rope…]
Lobo: “Could Pixilicious be looking for the lead here?”
V: “Duh, of course she is… like, she’s trying to win, loser!”
[Blackheart un-huddles himself from the ropes and walks around staggered. Pixilicious jumps… only to be caught and converted into a standing T-BONE SUPLEX FROM RAIN BLACKHEART!!!!”
Sir Oliver: “And he’s not done!”
Lobo: “No he’s not! KATA HAJIME on Pixilicious… could the third time be the charm?]
[Pixilicious struggles mightily. She squirms and squirms…]
Lobo: “Either she taps here or goes out, neither is a good scenario.”
[Pixilicious taps!]
------------------------
COUNT:
Ron Masterson: 1
Pixilicious: 1
Rain Blackheart: 1
------------------------
Lobo: “It’s a new match! Everyone is tied at 1! With a little over 7 minutes left.”
[To recap, the bloodied Ron Masterson is slowly making his way back to his feet. Pixilicious, having just been submitted, is gasping for air. Rain Blackheart, the reigning champion, is the freshest here but has taken a ton of damage himself, including a Hero’s call from Masterson.]
Sir Oliver: “What is interesting is that all 3 managers are present here, but there has been zero shenanigans from them. What a buncha good blokes!”
[Blackheart is up, so is Masterson… Blackheart kicks him the gut, grabs him and-]
Lobo: “ROLLING BLACKOUT from Blackheart no-“
[Masterson manages to reverse himself out of it and break the hold. He then slaps
Blackheart against the chest…]
Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
[Blackheart follows with a slap of his own!]
Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
[Masterson staggers back a bit, but repays Blackheart.]
Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
*SLAP!* WOOO! *SLAP!* WOOO! *SLAP!* WOOO! *SLAP!* WOOO! *SLAP!* WOOO! *SLAP!* WOOO!
[Both men are still standing, but wobbly. Of course, this is prime time for Pixilicious to jump OUT OF THE AIR AND HIT ONE LEGGED DROP KICKS ON BOTH MEN! She kips up and admires her work!]
Crowd: Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
[She goes over to Masterson, who surprises her by hooking her leg!]
Lobo: “Oh no, could this be another Hero’s Call? Masterson would take the lead here!”
[No! Pixi breaks out of it. But then she grabs Masterson by the NECK!]
Lobo: “THE PIXINATOR! THE PIXINATOR!”
[Pixilicious goes for the pin!]
Referee: “One! Two! Three!”
------------------------
COUNT:
Ron Masterson: 1
Pixilicious: 2
Rain Blackheart: 1
------------------------
Lobo: “Pixilicious takes the lead!”
Sir Oliver: “But look at her she’s exhausted!”
V: “So is everyone else in this match! Like, look at them!”
*Anderson: “THERE ARE FIVE MINUTES LEFT IN THIS MATCH!”
Lobo: “Rain Blackheart and Ron Masterson must do everything in their power to catch up here or else we’ll have a NEW champion!”
[There is a look of determination on both men’s faces, but Masterson is still hurting from the Pixinator, so there’s not much he can do. Still, he figures that Pixilicious is the most fatigued now due to the fact that she tapped out to a kata hajime not too long ago.]
[Ron Masterson throws a weak punch which is a fake to grab her and go for a full nelson! He begins shaking Pixilicious around like a ragdoll as she frantically tries to escape.]
[Rain Blackheart is having none of it however and after some time comes in their vicinity, Masterson let’s go of the hold and tries to grab Blackheart. The two grapple each other trying to get the upper hand. Finally, Ron does, and hits a SNAP SUPLEX on Rain Blackheart. He immediately locks on a Texas cloverleaf!]
[Blackheart's leg is in pain, but Pixilicious is able to break it up. Throwing a diving elbow towards both men. She strikes Masterson, then gets a running start from the turnbuckle… and hitting a running uppercut… sending him flying. She then jumps on the top rope and hits a HURRICANRANA on Masterson! But no he moved out of the way. He gets up and tries to HOOK her leg again…]
[No Blackheart prevents that from happening! The two trade punches, each one becoming harder and more determined as the clock winds down.]
Lobo: “Pixilicious seems content to let these two just lay into each other!”
V: “Wouldn’t you? She’s already winning! Like, take it easy, girl!”
[Finally, Blackheart gets the better of Masterson, who is down on one knee and bloodied in the face. Blackheart grabs Masterson... ROLLING BLACKOUT???]
Lobo: “No! Pixilicious breaks it up, protecting her lead!”
[Blackheart is fed up. He attacks Pixilicious furiously with punches and kicks, then sweeps her leg and goes for the KATA HAJIME again!]
Lobo: “It worked before, will it work again?”
Sir Oliver: “No, too close to the ropes!”
[Blackheart breaks the hold. Pixilicious uses the ropes to help herself up. Blackheart goes over to pick up where he left off, but Masterson shoves him out of the way, only to get hit with OOF! A back kick to the gut from Pixi!]
[That doesn’t stop a HUGE elbow to the face from Blackheart. Blackheart picks her up… for ANOTHER SUPLEX!!! He goes for the pin…]
Edwards: “One….” “Two….” [KICKOUT!!!]
Lobo: “That has to be demoralizing for Rain Blackheart.”
Sir Oliver: “IF he’s even awake to know what is going on!”
[Indeed, Blackheart is dazed, and Masterson should go for the pin here, but instead opts to make sure it is broken. He picks him up and does try to the leg again… but gets kicked in the gut by Pixilicious, who then elbows him on the back a few times, but Masterson is unperturbed…]
[He picks Pixilicious up for the back body drop, she falls on her back. He goes to the second rope…]
Lobo: “URU-PLEX ON Pixilicious!”
Sir Oliver: “That bloke looks dead!”
[Masterson goes for the pin…]
Edwards: “One…” “Two….” “THREE!!!!!”
Lobo: “PIXI GOT HER SHOULDER UP!”
[Masterson is frustrated. He knows what time it is, though. It worked before. But of course Rain Blackheart complicates things.]
*Anderson: “Three is one minute left in the match! ONE MINUTE LEFT!”
[Rain Blackheart launches an ELBOW at Masterson. Masterson returns with a well-placed punch. Pixilicious staggers up and joins the fray, she punches the champion in the face! The three continually trade blows on one another!]
Crowd: “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
~~* BONK *~~
Lobo: “Rain has the right idea! He smashes both Pixilicious and Masterson’s heads into one another!”
[He holds on to Pixilicious…]
Lobo: “TIME IS RUNNING OUT! CAN RAIN BLACKHEART DO IT?!”
Sir Oliver: “The suspense is killing me.”
[Masterson slowly gets up to his feet…]
Crowd: “OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
Lobo: “ROLLING BLACKOUT! ROLLING BLACKOUT! Blackheart did it!”
[Blackheart hit the Rolling Blackout on Pixilicious and goes for the pin.]
Edwards: “One…”
Edwards: “TWO!!!!!!”
Edwards: “THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
[………..]
Lobo: “MASTERSON BROKE UP THE COUNT! MASTERSON BROKE UP THE COUNT!”
V: “What a numbskull! Rain Blackheart is the best we’ve got here!”
[Rain is incredulous! He looks at the time and Pixi’s lifeless body and goes for the pin again!]
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: “The match is over! Pixilicious is the new Sin City champion!”
[Rain Blackheart looks frustrated and exhausted. He looks at Masterson, who also looks frustrated and exhausted and shakes his head. Pixi is slowly coming back to life. The referee tells her that she just won the match, she smiles while still lying flat on the mat.]
Vignette - Trixie Mars
We cut to a black screen and silence. Slowly, a distant, emerald light cuts horizontally in the background, and a figure begins to emerge, though it’s not distinguishable.
Female Voice: 2022 is a new year, and with a new year, a new face will arrive in UP Wrestling…
The figure gets closer still, and as it does, the light gets bigger and brighter, slowly revealing more of the approaching figure.
Female Voice: A face that’s been cutting it in the indies, but wants to bring her talents to a new level, and where better than UP Wrestling? Just like me, in the last two years it too has built its reputation, it’s like we’re made for each other.
We begin to make out the figure, a woman, and it’s her voice that we can hear. Before she can say anything else, a second figure approaches from over her shoulder, male.
Unknown Man: Not only are you made for UP Wrestling, Trixie, you’re made for The Academy…which is why I’m here as well.
The man is revealed to be former XHF X*Crown Champion, Rob Arnold. Arnold stands over her shoulder, a smirk creeping across his face.
Rob Arnold: Hello UP Wrestling. I’ve been keeping a close eye on you since you joined the XHF Network circus, and I’ve also been keeping an eye on the woman I’d like to formally introduce to you as Trixie Mars.
Arnold places a hand on her shoulder.
Rob Arnold: She’s been causing her own brand of trouble on the upper west coast, but I knew the second I saw her that she needed to bring that to the Network. So enjoy the holiday period, because once you see her in action, you’re going to realise that you’re just not ready for her…and you may never be. Be warned, The Emerald Underdog is coming.
He smirks again and walks off camera, leaving one final word from Mars.
Trixie Mars: Oh UP Wrestling, you’re not going to believe the mess I make.
She winks and the screen cuts to black.
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Rated M vs. ??????
Lobo: This next match is for the tag team championship. Rated M is going to be defending their titles against an opponent chosen by you, the viewer. Who got the votes?
Sir Oliver: It could be anybody, it could be Wicked, it could be Team Sp!ke, it could be Public Nuisance…it could literally be anybody.
V: I’d love to watch Wicked take on Rated M. Like, can you imagine the blood?
Lobo: Well, let’s end the suspense right now and go to the ring to find out.
(Cut to the ring)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is a championship match for the UWF tag team titles. Introducing first…Representing the Black Hand... they are the tag team of KID DIAZ and ADAM MILLER!!!
A light drum roll begins...
(Voice over begins to speak....)
This is their destiny...
This is their place...
This is their time...
They will CONQUER ALL!!!
("Dark Breed" By Robert Slump blares throughout the arena. The BLACKHAND skull symbol appears on the screen. The skull illuminates and flashes and slowly fades away but re illuminates bright black and white lights.
The ramp is covered in dry ice as Miller and Diaz appear from the smoke they stand at the top of the ramp and raise their black gloved hands above their head. They fist bump and make their way to the ring. Down the ramp and Miller runs and slides into the ring. He climbs to the second rope and raises his arm up. Diaz hops up onto the apron on his knee, letting his other leg hang loosely, as he pulls his sunglasses off, and tosses them into the crowd. He quickly lifts his leg and slips it through the ropes, straddling the middle rope for a moment for the fans to bask in his glory, before completely getting in the ring. Diaz quickly turns and climbs up onto the second turnbuckle and flexes! Both men return to the center of the ring and they fist bump. The music fades out as the men walk to their corner.)
Lobo: Not one ounce of apprehension with these two.
Sir Oliver: They are the champions, and they feel assured that they will prevail. However, there has to be some team that they don’t want to see.
*Anderson: And their opponents, voted on by YOU the fans…Ladies and Gentlemen….Let’s get ready to RAISE…SOME…HELL! Coming to the ring, from Holly Springs Tennessee at a combined weight of four hundred and two pounds…the team of “Shotgun” Annie Castle and “The Bone Collector” Carson Castle…let’s make some noise for THE TENNESSEE HELLRAISER’S COALITION….THC!!!
(Carson and Annie Castle step onto the entrance ramp as “Two Middle Fingers” by State of Mine begins to fill the arena. Carson raises both arms into the air and extends his middle fingers as Annie takes a swig of whiskey and pumps her shotgun with one hand. The two then run full speed to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope. Carson steps out wide and raises his middle fingers to the crowd as Annie slides between his legs on the mat. She also extends her middle fingers to the crowd and gives an evil little grin. The two move back to their corner and remove their ring gear as they wait for the bell.)
Lobo: WHAT? This is the ultimate match up.
Sir Oliver: I say, what with the history these two have with each other, this match is ideal.
V: Like, THC blows up the Black Hand party bus, the Black Hand retaliates by destroying THC’s truck…I can wait to see what these two do to each other. Like, it’s going to be gloriously brutal.
Sir Oliver: For once, I must totally agree with the young miss. This match is going to be elegant in its total lack of regard for either one's own body or the opponent’s well being.
Lobo: Well, it looks like we’re not going to have to wait too much longer as referee Edwards calls for the bell.
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: Kid Diaz is starting things out for Rated M while Carson starts off for THC. Both men move to the center of the ring and lock up. Carson takes Kid Diaz in a side headlock and starts to grind it on. Kid Diaz with the push off sends Carson into the ropes. Kid Diaz misses the clothesline allowing Carson to circle behind him and shoves Kid Diaz into the THC corner.
Sir Oliver: Kid Diaz is not in a particularly efficacious position.
V: In a what?
Sir Oliver: Efficacious.
V: What language is that?
Sir Oliver: It is English.
V: Like, it’s no English I’m familiar with.
Sir Oliver: Evidently.
Lobo: Annie takes the opportunity of having Kid Diaz in her corner to put on a rear naked choke. Annie has Kid Diaz off his feet as she continues to choke him out. Carson charges over and kicks Diaz in the midsection. Referee Edwards is there and starts counting.
Edwards: 1…2…3…4…
Lobo: Annie Castle breaks the hold at 4.
V: Like, why not? She has until 5.
*Anderson: Referee Edwards has charged THC with their first strike.
Lobo: Well, that didn’t take long.
Sir Oliver: I do admire their restraint in waiting this long before the first strike appears.
V: Like, it hasn’t even been 2 minutes.
Sir Oliver: I highly anticipated one team or another to take a cheap shot at the other during the instructions.
Lobo: To be honest, so was I.
V: Like, I’m surprised that Rated M even allowed THC to get to the ring.
Lobo: Kid Diaz collapses to his knees. Carson with the tag to Annie who comes into the ring and hauls Kid Diaz to his feet. Annie clamps on a side headlock and charges to the center of the ring, taking Kid Diaz down with a bulldog.
Sir Oliver: THC is most aggressive in its level of violence., Rated M may be in danger of losing their titles.
V: Like, it’s early and I don’t believe that The Black Hand will allow these titles to go to THC without a struggle.
Lobo: Well, they’re certainly struggling, that’s for sure. Annie starts to stomp on Kid Diaz with a good old fashioned curb stomping.
Sir Oliver: I do believe that THC has made a promise to, and I quote here, “stomp a mudhole in their ass and then walk it dry”.
V: Like, they kiss their mother with that mouth?
Sir Oliver: I will avoid the reference to the irony here.
Lobo: Kid Diaz rolls out of the ring to get away from Annie. Annie chases him to the ropes and then starts hurling insults at him. Kid Diaz gets to his feet and moves away from the ring. Annie leaps through the ropes with a stage dive. Kid Diaz catches her and slams her hard against the top of the guardrail.
V: Like, oops.
Lobo: Kid Diaz hauls Annie up and rolls her into the ring. Kid Diaz climbs into the ring and Annie is there to greet him with a hard right hand to the jaw. Kid Diaz reaches back and makes a tag to Miller. Miller comes into the ring and snaps a kick at Annie. Annie moves but still catches a part of that kick in her side causing her to stumble.
V: Miller looks to be taking some revenge for what Annie did to Diaz.
Lobo: Miller grabs Annie’s arm and whips her hard into the Rated M corner. Annie crashes hard. Diaz grabs the tag rope and starts to choke Annie out.
Sir Oliver: Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander?
V: Like, what?
Lobo: What goes around, comes around.
V: Oh, well why didn’t he just say so?
Sir Oliver: I believe I did, say wot.
Lobo: Edwards is counting Rated M.
Edwards: 1…2…3…4…Fi…
*Anderson: Referee Edwards has awarded a strike to Rated M.
Lobo: Well, they certainly evened things up. It’s one strike apiece.
V: Like, they did more to earn their strike.
Lobo: Rated M kept Annie choking just a few tics longer.
V: Like, they have better timing.
Lobo: Annie Castle is on her knees, gasping for breath. Miller kicks her in the chest and sends her flopping into the ring post. Miller starts kicking Annie who manages to grab his leg and twists it, sending Miller falling to his side. Miller grabs the ropes to keep from falling to the mat. Annie scoots herself out of the ring and starts to walk it off.
Sir Oliver: Miller tags Kid Diaz back in. Kid Diaz is in the ring and he goes to the ropes, taunting Annie Castle. Annie charges the ring apron, grabs Diaz by the ankle and yanks him down to the floor. Annie and Kid Diaz start trading blows on the floor.
Edwards: 1…2…3…4…
Lobo: Diaz has Annie Castle and smashes her face into the apron. Annie responds with a back fist to Diaz that strikes a bit low.
V: A bit low?? You mean she tagged him in the package.
Lobo: Regardless, Kid Diaz staggers back and Annie climbs back into the ring. Annie stumbles over and tags Carson back in as Kid Diaz climbs into the ring.
*Anderson: THC has been awarded their second strike for the low blow.
Lobo: One more strike and it’s all over for THC.
Sir Oliver: I say, I can’t imagine THC walking the straight and narrow.
Lobo: They’d better learn or they’re going to lose their shot at the title. However, Carson seems to be a bit more centered than Annie, so he may be able to keep it under control.
V: Like, boo. Bring Annie back in. I love the mayhem.
Lobo: Miller and Carson lock up. Miller takes Carson down with a leg dive and grapevines the leg. Carson shoves Miller off into the ropes. Miller comes off with a shoulder block that sends Carson back to the mat. Miller hauls Carson up and slams him hard with a body slam. Miller goes for the cover.
Edwards: 1…kickout.
Lobo: Miller hauls Carson back to his feet and whips him hard into the ropes. Kid Diaz puts a knee up between the second and top ropes that catches Carson in the small of the back.
*Anderson: Referee Edwards has given Rated M their second strike.
Lobo: Now both teams are in peril of losing this match on a DQ.
Sir Oliver: It may be advantageous for Rated M to get DQ’s as they may lose the match but will maintain their hold on the belts.
V: Maybe, but nobody wants to lose.
Lobo: Miller hauls Carson up to his feet and…backbreaker! Miller with the cover.
Edwards: 1…2…shoulder up.
Lobo: Miller pounds the mat and gets back to his feet. He hauls Carson up to his feet. Carson surprises him with a kick to the midsection and a stunner.
Edwards: 1…2…kickout.
Lobo: That came out of nowhere.
V: Like, they’re rattlesnakes! They can strike any time.
Lobo: I’m sure that Rated M isn’t taking them lightly.
V: Not now!
Lobo: Both men are back on their feet. Carson steps back and tags Annie back into the ring. Annie Castle goes to the top rope and comes off with a missile dropkick that catches Miller on the point of his chin, sending him crashing to the mat.
Sir Oliver: My word! Did you see the height that young lady got on that dropkick?
Lobo: She sure knows how to fly.
V: Like, look there, in the audience. In the front row. Isn’t that Moe from Jack’s Place?
Sir Oliver: Quite. It seems that young mister Moe has quite the affinity for Annie Castle.
V: Is that anything like saying that he has the hots for her?
Sir Oliver: Indubitably.
V: Is that yes or no?
Sir Oliver: It is quite apparent of Moe’s feelings for young miss Castle.
V: Uh, right. OK.
Lobo: Annie Castle hauls Miller up to his feet. Miller surprises Annie with a DDT.
Edwards: 1…shoulder up.
Lobo: Miller is up, he grabs Annie and slings her over his shoulder. Miller goes to the top rope and…THE TRUE MEANING OF FEAR!
Sir Oliver: I think that Miller is trying to send a message here.
V: Look at Moe! He’s screaming.
Lobo: Miller nails it.
Edwards: 1…2…3!
(BELL RINGS)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners and STILL UPW TAG CHAMPIONS…RATED M!
Lobo: Miller and Diaz grab their belts and head to the back as Carson is in the ring checking on Annie. Annie gets to her feet and heads to the back, leaning on Carson. What a match!
Sir Oliver: Quite.
V: Like, I don’t think this is over between these two groups.
DIRTY SANTA MATCH
Lobo: Here we go, Guys – the Dirty Santa competition. There’s prizes galore, although you can bet some of those ‘prizes’ won’t be as good as others. And then there’s the horse treading that follows; so getting eliminated first, well, that has its downside for sure, but with this, you’re never truly out of contention.
Sir Oliver: Dirty santa? That sounds questionable at best and I do confess that I have never heard of such a thing. Mayhap this is some quirk of the New World.
V: Ugh! Where have you been in like, forever? A cave?
Lobo: It’s like I said, Sir Ollie you -
Sir Oliver: That’s SIR OLIVER, if you please!
Lobo: Yeah, sure – anyway, it’s like I said: get eliminated, get a prize, but as you can trade, whoever is out last gets the best pick – in theory. So here we are with TEN competitors and ...Oh wait – I just got word that there will only be ONE prize, shared between Maddox and Candy and ONE prize shared between DeHaven and Nathaniel.
Sir Oliver: Well, that does make a sort of sense given that both do tag together and are used to such co-operation and the others lack said advantage.
Lobo: This will be decided by an Over The Top Rope elimination process. So, as I said – 10 competitors and they are -
- Bryan Black!
- Cage!
- Candy!
- David Berg!
- Dillian DeHaven!
- Isabella von Krauss!
- Jack Ruby!
- Jester LeBeau!
- Maddox!
- Nathaniel!
They are all ready and eager to get on with this.
V: So! Start for fuck’s sake!
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: With the bell comes mayhem. That’s not a big ring for TEN athletes and there’s as much pushing and shoving as there is actual wrestling.
Sir Oliver: More, far more.
Lobo: Cage scoops Candy up and whips her around to fire her over the – NO! She catches the ropes and lands on the apron. Cage looks on in disbelief.
V: At least until Maddox flattened him with that Senton Bomb.
Lobo: Bryan Black fires a sharp elbow into the side of Nathaniel’s face and then gets chopped at the knees by Dehaven. He stands, looking pleased with himself as Black tumbles to the mat to get stomped on by Von Krauss.
Sir Oliver: Alas his satisfaction is short-lived. Mr Berg puts paid to that with a devastating Swinging Neck Breaker. By Jove! That was rather splendidly executed, wouldn’t you say, Old Chap?
Lobo: It was, but it didn’t impress LeBeau. He fires a boot into Berg’s ribs, but then suffers an Implant DDT – courtesy of Jack Ruby.
Sir Oliver: It’s really rather incredible how he can be so skillful with just the one good hand.
V: Skilful? He just like, totally blindsided him! So, uh, yeah, it was pretty cool.
Lobo: Candy is back in and leaps off the top rope to crash into Nathaniel with a monstrous Missile Drop Kick!
Sir Oliver: By George! That certainly animated the spectators. Just listen to the brouhaha!
V: He’s like, totally making these words up, isn’t he?
Lobo: DeHaven is back up. He whips a back hand chop that sends Von Krauss tumbling into the ropes. Cage grabs a leg and simply upends her, tipping her over the ropes, but she hangs on and like Candy, successfully lands on the apron. From there she launches a series of savage blows at Cage.
V: Gotta love that attitude. You go, Girl! Draw blood!
Lobo: Black with a simple, but effective Shoulder Barge, sends Berg crashing into a corner.
Sir Oliver: Maddox grabs hold of LeBeau’s wrist and delivers a decidedly brutal Short Arm Clothesline to the fellow.
Lobo: Ruby trips Black and then drops with a solid elbow to the back of the head! Now he pulls him back up and practically marches him to the ropes where – Double Clothesline! Berg takes both down!
V: Payback is a total bitch, right?
Lobo: Dehaven crushes Cage into the turnbuckle near Von Krauss. She’s not slow in taking advantage and straddles the ropes to fire in a whole series of smashes. Cage is really getting worked over now, as DeHaven repeatedly drives a knee up into the ribs.
V: Hey, this could totally be our first elimination.
Lobo: It could happen at any time. There’s just so much going on in that ring. Look! Candy and Nathaniel are exchanging blows.
Sir Oliver: Well, Mr Nathaniel is TRYING to, it seems that Miss Candy is a rather elusive quarry.
Lobo: Yeah, she’s tagging him twice for each one of his, but he sure hits hard when he hits.
Sir Oliver: And I also see that Mr Maddox and Mr LeBeau are locked up in the centre of the ring and – Oh my.
Lobo: Yeah, the three way struggle – well BRAWL – between Black, Berg and Ruby just crashed into them – all 5 hit the deck! And THERE! Look! Isabella Von Krauss snaps out a side kick; that catches DeHaven in the mouth. She then hops over the ropes to land ON Cage. She falls back and Monkey Flips him into the dog pile in the middle of the ring!
Sir Oliver: Goodness me!
Lobo: Now Nathaniel blocks a savage blow from Candy, gabs her by the hair and hurls her at that heap of bodies, but she dives and rolls across them to land back on her feet to boot LeBeau in the shins. He falls and Maddox immediately slams down with a solid elbow strike.
V: Hey, this is like, way better than I expected; it’s total carnage in there.
Sir Oliver: If Pin attempts were admissible as a valid means of securing victory, I daresay that this would a be a decidedly different affair. As it is, well, I’m practically at a loss for words.
V: Great! This gets even better.
Lobo: Nathaniel charges across the mound, even as it starts to fall apart. He launches himself and crashes into Candy, who is knocked into Maddox. That frees up Jester, who seems to be chuckling at his own misfortune as he stands and – NO! Dillian DeHaven fires a knee into the side of Jester’s face and down he goes, but in falling he drags Nathaniel down too!
V: Ha! That’s fucking priceless. Even when DeHaven does something right it gets fucked up! #DeTotalLoserHaven.
Lobo: Berg flips up to his feet and then jumps and spins to deliver a devastating spinning kick to Jack Ruby. It knocks Ruby all the way back to the ropes.
Sir Oliver: What a remarkable feat of athleticism. I tip my hat to the gentleman.
V: I thought you were lost for words?
Sir Oliver: A brief inconvenience, surmounted by the astounding action arrayed before me, I assure you.
V: Great. Just fucking peachy. He’s found more long words.
Lobo: And now Black takes on Berg! A huge haymaker followed by a brutal sledgehammer blow sends Berg crashing into the far turnbuckle. Black follows up. The Wall! No! Berg dropped and rolled aside leaving Black to crash into that turnbuckle!
Sir Oliver: My, but that was a close thing. Self-evidently, Mr Berg’s conditioning and match readiness is telling.
Lobo: And now Krauss is in there. She leaps into drive an elbow down into the top of Black’s shoulder. Her knee slams into his kidneys. He arches back in pain and she hip tosses him over! Now she hops up onto the ropes. She’s gesturing to this manic crowd that she’s going for a big move here.
V: Is she like, totally nuts?
Sir Oliver: It would seem that the stability of her mental state is a matter of some debate.
Lobo: And Cage! Cage powers up from the deck and leaps up to SHOVE Von Krauss – JUST before she could leap. She sails backwards and crashes down. That’s our FIRST ELIMINATION and the first prize goes to ISABELLA VON KRAUSS.
V: Wow. Like what a way to go.
Sir Oliver: The young lady certainly did not hold back. She played a High Risk game ad on this occasion it did not pay off, albeit I’m quite sure that she’s garnered more than a few fans by dint of that performance.
Lobo: Berg comes straight back. He knocks Cage sideways into the ropes. Cage rebounds, but Berg ducks and Cage rolls across his back and into Jack Ruby! Ruby greets him with a European Uppercut!
V: Like awesome! He practically took air then.
Lobo: Berg immediately switches target. He hauls Black up.
Sir Oliver: And gets a rather solid Back Fist to the jaw for his pains.
Lobo: Yeah, those two are really mixing it up now.
V: Hey, look! Jester LeBeau is back up. Again.
Sir Oliver: Yes, another individual with somewhat debatable sanity. Perchance he has taken one too many blows to the head.
V: In this match or like, ever?
Lobo: Jester rams an elbow back into Maddox’s ribs and then spins around to headbutt him. Oh! But Candy clobbers him with a Bellringer and then grabs the back of his head to smash his face into the turnbuckle.
Sir Oliver: Well, that young lady certainly does NOT play nicely with others. And, as for Mr LeBeau, I fear that’s another substantial blow to the head.
V: Like he’ll notice?
Lobo: Nathaniel with a Big Boot blasts Candy back into the ropes! Out she comes and he grabs her – Suplex!
Sir Oliver: Clearly, Old Boy, Mr Nathaniel feels it is now imperative that he makes his presence felt.
Lobo: For sure, but see! Berg has Black up against the ropes with an elbow up under his chin. He’s pushing and pushing hard. No! Black garbs that arms and whips the arm around into a backhammer!
Sir Oliver: By Jove! What a remarkable piece of escapology!
Lobo: Black pushes Berg around and has him up against the ropes. What a reversal. Now he quickly transitions to scoop Berg across his shoulders! He spins and DUMPS Berg OVER the ropes! Down he – NO! Berg grabs the ropes, pulls himself in to then grab Black by the head! Bryan has his back to the ropes and is being peeled backwards. And in comes DeHaven! He grabs Black’s left leg, lefts and FLIPS him up. Berg does the rest! Bryan Black SOMERSAULTS out of the ring and Berg swings back in to chop DeHaven off at the knees!
Sir Oliver: Well! I say! Now that was hardly cricket, was it Old Chap?
V: Hey, you snooze, you lose.
Lobo: And that’s our SECOND ELIMINATION. BRYAN BLACK is gone – to collect his prize.
Sir Oliver: How shocking. Mr Black should console himself with the fact that it took TWO of them to enforce his elimination.
Lobo: As Berg and DeHaven mix it up, I can see that Candy has just taken Jester to the mat with Leg Scissors and Nathaniel – oh, he reverses out of that Arm Bar from Maddox then spins around to fire a savage Chop at his throat.
Sir Oliver: Indeed and Messrs Ruby and Cage are having a heated exchange over to the left of the ring.
Lobo: DeHaven blocks an elbow strike and then hits back with a knee to the ribs. Taking a wrist he whips berg around and launches him into a corner!
V: Getting his shit together now.
Lobo: Candy clamps her legs around jester’s head!
V: Yeah and like, not in a nice way. If he doesn’t get out of that PDQ, he’s like totally toast.
Lobo: Maddox is reeling, struggling for breath. Nathaniel senses blood and charges forward to – OOH! Sidewalk Slam from Maddox. That puts Nathaniel down! Maddox with a stamp to the – NO! Nathaniel rolls aside and that foot just impacts the mat.
Lobo: Ruby hits with the Claw! He has Cage in trouble here. No! Cage grabs the arm at wrist and elbow and spins to come up with a painful looking Armbar!
Sir Oliver: Yes, Old Bean, the gentleman has a wealth of experience and has answers to moves where others don’t even have moves.
Lobo: DeHaven has Berg trapped in that corner and is unleashing a barrage of smashes! He’s pounding away at Berg’s head to – OUCH! Berg with a Palm Strike, up under the chin. That stops Dillian in his tracks. Now Berg bends, grabs DeHaven by the legs and -
Sir Oliver: By George!
Lobo: He just SUPLEXED him out of the ring! Dillian was on top and pressing hard, but Berg pulled off an amazing piece of skill and upended him, dumping him OVER the ropes and out of the ring. That’s our THIRD ELIMINATION and DILLIAN DEHAVEN goes to claim his prize.
V: That’s like, you know, a total shame, coz Dilly was just getting on a roll and I figured he was sure to draw blood soon.
Lobo: Jester! His foot finds the ropes and the break is called. Candy breaks cleanly.
Sir Oliver: Quite so; that feisty young lady has no need of artifice to augment her undeniable skill set.
Lobo: Cage is steering Jack towards the ropes with that painful-looking Armbar.
Sir Oliver: yes, and Mr Ruby is not making that an easy matter. I opine that his capacity to endure pain is nigh Biblical in its proportions.
Lobo: Jester is up and immediately gets a whole load of Candy in his face!
Sir Oliver: My Word! That was a decidedly bestial headbutt was it not?
Lobo: Yeah, she sure rocked Jester’s world then.
V: Right, so like, why is still laughing?
Sir Oliver: That, Young Lady, can undoubtedly be attributed to his complete lack of sanity and is in no way to be construed as a diminution of the potency of Miss Candy’s attack.
V: Yeah, whatever.
Lobo: Now Jack stamps down – all down Cage’s shin. It’s enough to enable him to rip his arm free. Jack spins around and socks Cage with a Double Axe Handle blow.
Sir Oliver: That pair do appear to rather evenly matched, do they not, Old Boy?
Lobo: And Maddox catches Nathaniel with a stunning Enzugiri! Back into the ropes Nathaniel sails!
V: Hey, that like, almost drew blood. Almost. That Maddox is SUCH a disappointment – not like my Devy.
Sir Oliver: That no blood was spilled is testimony to Mr Nathaniel’s rhinoceros-like hide, rather than any indictment on Mr Maddox’s undoubted skill and power.
Lobo: Now Jester is calling Candy on. He wants MORE!
Sir Oliver: I can but shake my head and wonder at the bizarre thought processes that must meander, forever lost, in that strange man’s mind.
Lobo: Candy obliges. Snapped Side Kick! It propels him into a corner. She follows with a jumping knee lift. Jester covers up, but Candy is now attacking from ALL angles. He simply cannot protect all of him.
V: As if he cares!
Lobo: Cage responds to Ruby with a Spinning Clothesline!
Sir Oliver: Well, Mr Ruby certainly did NOT expect that. I can tell you.
Lobo: Now in comes Berg! He runs. He leaps! He crashes into the back of Candy and CRUSHES her into LeBeau, INTO the corner! Now he falls back and flips Candy out of the corner. But LeBeau bounces out to trample Berg. He races over to Candy, scoops her up over a shoulder and barrels to the far side of the ring!
Sir Oliver: I say! What a turn of events, Old Chap.
Lobo: Maddox! He shoots out and arm to TRIP Jester! He catches him. Jester stumbles, but somehow stays upright and dumps Candy over the ropes – falling into them himself.
Sir Oliver: And there goes the valiant Miss Candy. Most unfortunate. She was proving quite dominant until Mr Berg’s intervention, but alas, such is ever the way of things in fracas of this sort.
Lobo: The FOURTH ELIMINATION is CANDY!
V: Ha! Maddox getting all noble and trying to save her ass has cost him. See? Nathaniel is like totally kicking his ass now.
Sir Oliver: Mr Maddox undoubtedly felt it worth the price and see, even now he uses Mr Nathaniel's own force against him as he rolls towards the safety of the ropes with each kick delivered.
Lobo: Cage sets Ruby up – Thunderdome! He hits it! He hits his finisher and now heaves Ruby up – Fireman’s carry – across the shoulders. He spins around and steps back to deposit Ruby over the ropes! Ruby drops, hits the apron and SNATCHES at the bottom rope! How did he-? NO! His fingers JUST MISS and he falls.
Sir Oliver: By Jove! I cannot recall when last I viewed such prodigious toughness. Even that epic finisher could not keep Mr Ruby down for long.
Lobo: And there it is – that’s our FIFTH ELIMINATION! It’s – NO! Berg! Up fast. He grabs Cage’s legs and simply tips him backwards OVER the ropes!
V: Like – WOW.
Lobo: JACK RUBY has been ELIMINATED and so has CAGE! Two go in very quick succession.
Sir Oliver: And with startling alacrity we find ourselves with just 4 competitors. It truly is a testimony to how unpredictable events such as these truly are, Old Boy.
Lobo: So now we have Maddox taking on Nathaniel and LeBeau fighting Berg – whose had an impressive showing, it has to be said.
V: Nah, he’s just an opportunist. He’s like totally taken advantage of every situation that’s come his way. Hey, it’s what I’d do.
Sir Oliver: Why is it that I find that eminently easy to believe?
Lobo: Berg pulls Maddox into a Short Arm Clothesline. Down goes Maddox. Berg steps over him to – MONKEY FLIP! Maddox Monkey lips Berg across the ring! Berg crashes into LeBeau and Nathaniel. All three go down!
Sir Oliver: It seems that even with a mere four competitors it is still possible to ensure that complete chaos reigns in the ring.
Lobo: Berg, LeBeau and Nathaniel all stand and ALL start trading heavy blows! There’s nothing technical about this. No! Jester drives a side kick into Berg’s gut just as Nathaniel delivers a Heart Punch! Berg sails backwards -
V: Like he had a choice.
Lobo: Into Maddox! But Maddox rolls backwards and -
Sir Oliver: Odd’s Bodkins!
Lobo: That was incredible! The crowd are on their feet -stunned. Maddox Monkey Flipped Berg OUT OF THE RING! He caught it just right and used the power of his legs to launch Berg – perfectly – up and over the ropes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like that.
V: Devy could do it – like, totally.
Lobo: DAVID BERG has been ELIMINATED!
Sir Oliver: The seventh to go and he indisputably had a profound impact on events.
Lobo: But what’s this? Nathaniel is offering Jester some sort of deal. LeBeau is laughing.
V: Yeah? So, like what else is new?
Lobo: They both turn and barrel into Maddox!
Sir Oliver: A momentary truce has been achieved, it would seem, but such things are incredibly fragile, Old Bean.
Lobo: Maddox is fighting back – against BOTH and fighting hard, but the numbers are telling.
V: Yeah, they’re like, totally telling me that he’s getting his ass kicked.
Lobo: Nathaniel and Lebeau have Maddox up against the ropes now, but Maddox is STILL hammering away at both men. He’s just NOT letting them get that -
V: Damn!
Sir Oliver: That’ll do it most times, I’ll warrant.
Lobo: Low Blow from Jester. Maddox doubles. Nathaniel goes to lift him and – NO! Eye rake from Jester. Nathaniel reels way clutching his face as Jester gabs Maddox by the legs and upends him! Over the ropes he goes, but – WOW! Maddox is hanging UPSIDE DOWN. He’s clinging to the top rope and is NOT letting go.
V: He is now.
Sir Oliver: A knee to the kidneys is remarkably efficacious in redirecting one’s thought processes, I generally find. Wouldn’t you agree, Old Chap?
Lobo: It was enough – JUST enough. Maddox tumbles down outside and slips off the apron. MADDOX has been ELIMINATED! Jester is smirking and – NO! Nathaniel! Strike back in with a Flying Clothesline!
V: Shit! He damn near took his fucking head off then! Awesome.
Lobo: Over! Jester is knocked over the ropes in exactly the same spot that he just eliminated Maddox! What a finish.
Sir Oliver: Truly bizarre.
Lobo: JESTER LEBEAU has been ELIMINATED and NATHANIEL WINS the Dirty Santa final prize!
V: You know, that was kinda fun. Maybe next time they can do it with weapons – sharp ones, so there’s like shitloads of blood.
Sir Oliver: I confess, I do worry about you Miss Wu. I do indeed.
Lobo: Our thanks to ALL our competitors. I just hope that they enjoy their prizes.
BOYD GAMING HIGH ROLLER CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Jumbo Robinson vs. "The Prince of Perfection" Joe Nobody
Sir Oliver: Our next match is the BOYD GAMING HIGH ROLLER CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH.
Lobo: Elijah Alexander will spin the wheel and our competitors, Jumbo Robinson and Joe Nobody will then wrestle the match on where the wheel falls.
V: Jumbo Robinson? Didn’t he like already like wrestle today? Luckily he is facing a Nobody. AMIRIGHT?
Sir Oliver: The possible matches on the wheel are as follows:
- Last Man Standing
- Bull Rope: Both tethered at the wrist.
- Put Your Opponent On a Leash
- Sky High Roller Scaffold
- Dog Collar
- Sumo (but on a boat/large floating piece of wood) (win via throwing opponent into water)
- First Blood
- Tables Ladders And Chairs
Lobo: The matches are dangerous for sure. Elijah Anderson is standing by the wheel. Let’s see what it brings us.
V: Whatever.
Sir Oliver: This is so exciting.
Lobo: Anderson spins the wheel. It is spinning fast, slowing down, slowing down.
Sir Oliver: The crowd is frantic.
V: Please please please let it be First Blood.
Sir Oliver: It is slowing down, it is on Tables and Chairs, no…it moves.
Lobo: Last Man Standing.
V: Still may get some like Blood!
Lobo: The rules of this match are quite simple. Take your opponent down to where they cannot get back to their feet before the referee counts to 10.
Sir Oliver: Simple rules but difficult to achieve with these two tough competitors.
*Anderson: Our next match will be a LAST MAN STANDING MATCH for the High Roller Championship.
Lobo: But remember Jumbo already had a match with his brother Jett against Wicked. It was a weapons match and there is no way Jumbo is 100%
Sir Oliver: But he is a pugilist and he will not back down.
V: Pugiwhat? Like what?
Lobo: The winner of the belt will have to defend this title on every future card so this is for a fighting future champion.
V: Let’s get on with it!
*Anderson: He hails from Detroit, Michigan... weighing in at one hundred and ninety-five pounds and standing at six foot, one inch tall... he is The Prince of Perfection... JOE NOBODY!!!
("Sick of Me" by Beartooth begins to play. The camera zooms into Nobody's face who smirks and adjusts his tie before making his way to the ring. As makes it up two steps and stops before turning around to give a young fan his signature fedora.)
Sir Oliver: He is certainly a stoic man.
V: He is a nobody. Get it…like get it?
*Anderson: Coming down the aisle, he is one half of the Robinson Family, here is... JUMBO ROBINSON!!!
""If you're ready for this... (say you're ready for this!!!)?""
""If you're ready for this... (say you're ready for this!!!)?""
[Jumbo Robinson enters to cheers. The bigger member of the Robinson Family tag team is the splitting image of their patriarch, Jab Robinson, in all but one way... he's an even BIGGER behemoth of a man. Jumbo does a little dance for the crowd, but without his brother Jett to dance with him, he's a bit shy.]
""THAT'S THE JOINT""
[His brother Junior comes out behind him in a wheelchair. Jumbo picks his brother up and puts him on his shoulder, while pushing the wheelchair down to the ring. His brother doesn't look pleased. ]"
*Anderson: Your referee is Alexander Xavier Edwards.
Lobo: Jumbo is about the same height as Nobody but he is a much bigger man.
Sir Oliver: And he shows it right away. Oh my.
V: YES!
Lobo: Nobody tries to evade Jumbo but Robinson is quick and quicker than Nobody anticipated. Jumbo grabs Nobody and scoops him up with a body slam. He drops and elbow and another. Jumbo with the Robinson Special #1!
Sir Oliver: Oh my word! This match may already be over.
Lobo: Jumbo already had a match tonight and he’s trying to get this one over quickly.
Edwards: 1… 2…
Lobo: And Joe Nobody gets a foot on the rope! Great ring awareness there. Jumbo is getting back up and looks a little frustrated that the tactic didn’t work. He pulls Joe up and sends him into the turnbuckle.
V: Jumbo just hit like a nasty clothesline. This Prince of Perfection kinda like sucks.
Sir Oliver: It is so early to say that but Jumbo is impressive considering he is not 100%.
Lobo: Jumbo picks up the stunned Nobody and dances a bit and starts nailing him with jabs.
Sir Oliver: The old family recipe it seems?
Lobo: Jumbo is quick and Nobody cannot quite time them right. Jumbo nails Nobody and his right eye is bleeding.
V: Blood!! YES!!
Lobo: Jumbo goes for a haymaker but Nobody ducks and chops Jumbo in the throat, Nobody bounces off the ropes and hits a flying forearm smash as Jumbo is rocked. Nobody with a dropkick that sends Jumbo into the turnbuckle. Nobody flies at him but Jumbo catches him and connects with a Belly to Belly Suplex. Nobody is slowly getting up, Jumbo gets momentum, he bounces off the ropes and nails Nobody with a vicious spear.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Nobody is hurt and down.
V: Nobody like still sucks. Like wasn’t Jumbo already in a match?
Sir Oliver: Jumbo is breathing heavily but Nobody is not moving.
Lobo: Edwards with the count.
Edwards: 1…2…3..4…..5….6
Lobo: Nobody looks up at the ref and slowly stands up. He wipes the blood from under his eye and did he just wink at Jumbo?
Sir Oliver: I believe he did!
V: What the hell?!?!
Lobo: Jumbo is livid and he rushes Nobody with a series of strikes but Nobody fights back and we have a brawl.
V: YES!!
Lobo: Nobody stuns Jumbo with a kick to the gut, followed by a dropkick and Jumbo flies outside the ring.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Nobody is going to the top turnbuckle.
Lobo: Nobody hits a double sledgehammer on Jumbo. Nobody with a Russian Leg Sweep. Jumbo is down.
V: Whatever, Nobody still sucks.
Lobo: Nobody picks up Jumbo and rolls him into the ring. As Jumbo is slowly getting up, Nobody hits a Running Neckbreaker Drop. Jumbo is down.
Sir Oliver: Jumbo Robinson is down and not moving.
Edwards: 1….2…..3….4….5….6….7
Lobo: Jumbo stirs and gets up but Nobody attacks right away with a series of punches to the head. Nobody grabs the larger Jumbo and hits a Full Nelson Slam.
Sir Oliver: Impressive strength from Mr. Nobody.
V: OK like maybe he doesn’t suck that much?
Lobo: Nobody picks up the stunned Jumbo and goes for another Full Nelson Slam but Jumbo blocks it. Back elbow, headbutt. Nobody is down.
Sir Oliver: Blood is dripping from Mr. Nobody.
Lobo: Jumbo with a splash. It connects.
V: Nobody like sucks again.
Lobo: Jumbo points to the crowd. He picks up Nobody and unleashes a bevy of jabs.
Sir Oliver: This looks like the Robinson special.
Lobo: jab, jab, jab., jab, punch to the gut and POWERBOMB.
Sir Oliver: The bloodied Mr. Nobody hits hard.
V: Look at Jumbo, he is exhausted.
Lobo: Jumbo Robinson breathes heavily in his corner as Edwards begins the count
Edwards: 1..2….3….4…5….6…7…8
Lobo: This could be it.
Sir Oliver: This is a prestigious belt, while the holder has to defend it at every card, they at any time may turn it in with two weeks notice to face the UP Wrestling World Openweight Champion.
V: Nobody is up again?!
Lobo: A bloodied Joe Nobody stands up, smirks and tells Jumbo to come get him.
Sir Oliver: This Joe Nobody has no quit in him.
Lobo: Jumbo is moving visibly slower as Nobody connects with a Flying Side Kick. Nobody has Jumbo in the corner and unleashes knees and forearm smashes.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Nobody’s cardio may be the difference here.
Lobo: Nobody with a bulldog. as Jumbo slowly gets up Nobody connects with a super kick and Jumbo is down. Nobody won’t let Alexander count. He picks up Robinson and hits the DENIAL OF PERFECTION (running STO). Jumbo is down as the crowd cheers loudly.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Nobody is a cardio machine and Jumbo Robinson is down and out.
V: Like Nobody is bleeding and he just put down a much bigger man. Guess he doesn’t suck at all?
Edwards: 1..2….3….4…5….6…7…8……9….TE…
Lobo: Jumbo Robinson is up and he stares at Nobody who is incredulous.
V: Incredwhat?
Sir Oliver: Mr. Robinson is not done yet it seems?
Lobo: Both men now come to attack but Nobody is quicker and he chops Jumbo down with a series of kicks to the thigh as Jumbo goes down to one knee he headbutts Nobody in the stomach and connects with an uppercut. Nobody is down. Jumbo gets up and lumbers toward him but from a lying position, Nobody kicks him in the knee and hits a DDT.
Sir Oliver: This is a street fight.
V: This is great.
Lobo: Jumbo picks up Nobody and goes for a headbutt but Nobody blocks it. Nobody with a chop to the head but Jumbo blocks it. Jumbo with a double ear slap, headbutt, Belly to Belly Suplex.
Sir Oliver: Nobody is down.
V: What is he doing?
Lobo: Jumbo goes to the top rope. He is looking for a splash. But Nobody is up. He runs up the turnbuckles.
Sir Oliver: The man’s stamina is unreal.
V: You know all about men and stamina, eh tea and crumpets like yeah.
Sir Oliver: Pardon me!?!
Lobo: Nobody has the much larger Jumbo Brown in a suplex position. They are both on the top rope. SUPERPLEX…..both men hit very hard and they are out.
Sir Oliver: The referee is counting…
Edwards: 1..2….3….4…5….6…7…8……9….
Lobo: Nobody grabs the ropes and pulls himself up.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Brown is still down.
Edwards: TEN
V: Wow the bloody guy like, won.
Lobo: He did it.
Sir Oliver: Joe Nobody hears cheers from the crowd. He is the new Champion.
*Anderson: Your winner and the NEW BOYD GAMING HIGH ROLLER CHAMPION… “The Prince of Perfection” Joe Nobody!!!!
Lobo: What an effort by Joe Nobody. Jumbo tried time and time again to end this match, but our new champion prevailed.
Sir Oliver: And the former is trying to get back to his feet as Mr. Nobody celebrates his grand victory.
V: Joe is going to have to defend that title every show or like, will he turn it in for a shot at my Devy? What if he turns it in tonight?
Lobo: Anything can happen here in UP Wrestling. Look at Jumbo for example. He’s got his hand out. Joe shakes it. What a clash act by Jumbo Robinson.
V: Sportsmanship is for losers.
MAIN EVENT - WORLD OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
"The Apex" Devin Bishop vs. "The Vengeful One" CJ Walker
Sir Oliver: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for our main event, the World Openweight Title match, and a match that has quite some history tied to it. For nearly a year, these two have been intertwined.
V: And tonight Devy gets to, like, end CJ for good!
Lobo: You might feel that way V, but it’s no guarantee.
V: With Devy, I always guarantee for him to end up on top!
Sir Oliver: My word…
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, this final match of the evening is scheduled for one fall and is for the UP Wrestling World Openweight Title! Introducing first, the challenger… From Butcher's Hollow in The Ozarks of Arkansas. He stands 6'7 and One Half inches tall. Weighing in at 277 pounds. The Vengeful One, CJ Walker!"
("Valhalla Calling Me" by Miracle Of Sound (Metal Version) begins to play as Walker is seen standing at an entry tunnel in the arena where the fans enter and exit. He is dressed in jeans, black boots, and his "Come Hell Or Valhalla" sleeveless shirt. The fans reach out to touch their hero as he begins to descend the steps down towards the ring side area. Pushing his way through the sea of fans towards the barricade he hops the barricade with a hand carved mahogany club in his hand, the club is adorned with Norse runes and a snarling wolf. Walker takes his time to circle around the ring. His eyes scanning the crowd and whoever is in the ring. He climbs up slowly onto the apron, stopping there to look back at the crowd then turns his focus into the ring. He steps between the ropes with the club in his taped fist, ready to crack skulls and brutalize his opponent.)
Lobo: Walker definitely looks ready for the match tonight.
V: Like, it won’t matter. Now shut up, here comes our champion!
*Anderson: And his opponent… Coming to the ring from Reno, Nevada... he stands at six foot one inch tall and weighs in at two hundred and twenty-eight pounds... he is...the UPW Openweight Champion...he is….The Apex…he is...Devin Bishop!
(As "Nucleus" by Robert Slump begins to play over the P.A. system, the arena goes dark. Red and purple light beams begin to flash up and down the walkway as smoke covers the area in front of the curtains. Bishop steps out and a spotlight shines on Bishop, creating a silhouette of Bishop. As the synth intro ends and the guitar and drums begin, Bishop slowly raises the Openweight Championship belt above his head in one hand. As the main verse begins, a spotlight hits Bishop, who is facing away from the crowd. He turns quickly and extends both arms before beginning a long cocky walk to the ring steps.He then begins a slow, cocky walk to the ringside area. He walks up the ring steps onto the ring apron, where he makes a show of wiping his boots on the mat before stepping into the ring. He removes his entrance gear and hands it to the ring attendant. He lays the Openweight Championship belt on the mat in front of him and steps over it, using both hands to beckon his opponent to the center of the ring.)
V: Oooh yeah!
Sir Oliver: The champion definitely looks ready, even if he is giving up a bit of size and weight.
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: Well, there’s the bell and both men look absolutely ready, CJ Walker looks ready to tear right into Bishop, and they go to lock up, but Bishop with a go behind. He has a waistlock on the big man and he tries to trip him up, but Walker is able to keep his balance. Walker with a back elbow but Bishop ducks it, releasing the waist lock and now he backs into the corner.
Sir Oliver: Looks like Mr. Bishop might have felt that elbow was a little too close for comfort.
V: It’s an absolute shame Walker would think to try and hurt Devy’s face.
Sir Oliver: Walker seems to be calling Bishop back to the middle of the ring, and Bishop seems to oblige, patiently walking to the middle of the ring to meet him. They lock up again and Bishop with a top wristlock, into a hammerlock, and he floats it seamlessly into a headlock.
V: See, Devy is a technical genius.
Lobo: Devin Bishop has the headlock in, but CJ Walker is trying to power out of it into a standing hammerlock, but Bishop with a quick knee into the kidney to put the headlock back on. Bishop really cinched it in.
V: He is a specimen, my Devy.
Lobo: Right. But Walker throws him into the ropes with his strength and nails him with a shoulder block on the way back, knocking him backward and into the ropes. Bishop is able to stay vertical though, and he shakes out his shoulder from the blow he received.
Sir Oliver: Old Chap, Bishop seems to be rethinking his strategy because he recognizes his deficiency in size and strength.
V: Devy isn’t deficient, Oliver. He’s just not a walking tree like Walker is.
Sir Oliver: Quite. Bishop ducks under another grapple attempt by Walker with another go behind, and he kicks the leg out from under Walker and brings him down to a knee, and he locks in a standing armbar. Bishop even keeps a foot on the inside of the knee on the mat to add a bit more leverage while taking away Walker’s ability to stand with ease.
Lobo: Bishop is working the arm and then transitions into a rear chinlock, and he keeps the foot behind the knee, and then hits a forearm shot to the back of the shoulders, putting Walker on the mat. Bishop now scissors the legs together and drives an elbow between the shoulderblades.
V: He’s, like, a technical wizard.
Lobo: Bishop is going to have the edge with wrestling, and he’s still got the legs grapevine and locks in an armbar on the left arm, so he’s got three of Walker’s limbs tied up.
Sir Oliver: He’s really putting pressure on the arm, but Walker is able to get to the ropes and force the break. Bishop breaks it at three and gets to the middle of the ring. Walker gets to his feet and charges Bishop who sidesteps him into a drop toe-hold and goes right back to grapevining the legs, and again he’s trying to out wrestle Walker.
V: He’s showing he’s superior, Oliver. Like, get it right.
Lobo: Walker is now in the middle of the ring and he can’t reach the ropes, and Bishop moves up the grapevine and into an almost double arm hold, “Rings of Saturn” style. Walker is trapped and Edwards is checking for a submission, but Walker refuses to give it. Walker rolls onto his back and he’s got Bishop covered, one… but Bishop quickly switches the position back into the submission move.
V: Yes Devy, get him!
Lobo: Edwards is back to check for the submission, but Walker is able to get to a knee, and now another! He’s powering up to his feet and Bishop is holding on for dear life, and Walker just drops down in a modified Samoan drop, taking the air out of Bishop!
V: No!
Sir Oliver: Walker now brings Bishop up to his feet and lifts him into the air, bringing him crashing down to the mat with a vertical suplex. Walker gets to his feet and immediately begins to pull Bishop back to his feet, and scoops him up with a sidewalk slam that seemed to just reverberate through the ring.
V: The referee missed a blatant hair pull! Like, c’mon!
Lobo: There was no hair pull, V, just flat out strength from Walker.
V: Whatever! I saw it!
Lobo: Walker brings Bishop to his feet and whips him into the ropes and swings a right but misses the clothesline, and Bishop wraps himself around the arm and lands, bringing Walker down with a DDT! Bishop with a quick counter and he goes for a cover, one… two… but Walker kicks out.
V: A great counter by Devy!
Sir Oliver: Bishop drops a series of elbows on Walker, trying to keep the big man down and from getting to his feet, and then Bishop targets the leg again with a series of elbows before locking in a single leg crab. Old Chap, it seems like Bishop is finding a body part to target and to take a bit of Walker’s advantage away.
Lobo: Bishop is pulling back on the leg and he’s really got the hold cinched in, and Walker is trying to get to the ropes. He’s a little too far out of range though.
Sir Oliver: That he is.
V: Like I said, he’s a ring master.
Sir Oliver: Walker is trying to crawl to the ropes and is close, but Bishop leans back in the single leg, turning it into an STF! Now Walker is in even more dire straits.
Lobo: Walker is still trying to get to the ropes though, and he’s able to crawl, so Bishop breaks up the hold and he begins stomping on the back and leg of Walker. Walker is trying to get to his feet but Bishop clips the leg, bringing him down to a knee, and then drops him with a reverse DDT. Bishop hooks the leg, one… two… but Walker shoots the shoulder up.
V: C’mon Devy! Devy’s now putting the boots to that thick-headed idiot.
Sir Oliver: Some decorum, please.
V: Shove it.
Lobo: Devin Bishop goes to the middle rope and he’s waiting for Walker to get up, and he leaps, hitting a double axe handle that drops Walker to the mat. Bishop then places the leg he’s been working on across the ropes and leaps, dropping his body weight across the leg. Walker howls in pain and Bishop goes back to the middle rope and leaps, bringing an elbow right down across the leg.
Sir Oliver: Bishop is going to come dangerously close to possibly breaking Walker’s leg.
V: Well, it serves him right for thinking he can just challenge Devy’s championship.
Sir Oliver: He earned this title shot, young lady.
V: Like, whatever.
Sir Oliver: Walker is still down and Edwards is checking to see if he wants to submit, but Walker refuses, still trying to get to his feet. Bishop with a kick to the inside leg and climbs the turnbuckle again, this time going all the way to the top, and he leaps, but he gets caught!
V: No!
Lobo: Walker catches him in a bearhug and then tosses him up and over the top rope with a release belly-to-belly overhead suplex! Bishop lands hard on the outside and Walker is able to try and get a breather to shake off the abuse to his leg.
Sir Oliver: Bishop is certainly stunned as he gets to his feet and Walker is up to his feet and he’s calling Bishop back into the ring, but Bishop is taking his time. Edwards is counting him, and Bishop gets up onto the apron at the count of eight and Walker grabs him, looking to suplex him, but looks like his leg is giving him some problems.
Lobo: Bishop then drops Walker’s throat across the top rope, and Walker is stunned. Bishop comes into the ring and hooks Walker, he’s got the waistlock and he hits a German suplex, bridged into a cover, one… two… but Walker rolls to his left to get out of it. Bishop gets to his feet and moves on Walker, but Walker takes him down with a fireman’s carry! Bishop up to his feet and turns, and walks into a discus lariat from CJ Walker!
V: What, no! Devy, baby, you gotta duck that!
Sir Oliver: Walker with a cover, one… two… but Bishop kicks out. Walker didn’t hook the leg there and that could’ve cost him, Old Chap.
Lobo: Maybe. Walker is getting to his feet and he’s pulling Bishop up by the hair.
V: Which is illegal, by the way!
Lobo: Walker with a huge fist to the midsection that takes the air out of Bishop and he lifts him into the air, dropping him with a sitout powerbomb! A huge move and he hooks the legs, one… two… the… no! Bishop gets the shoulder up! Walker though seems to not mind his move was kicked out of and he whips Bishop hard into the turnbuckle. Walker looks to charge in, thinks differently because of his leg, and then just hits a bullrush lariat in the corner and Bishop.
Sir Oliver: Bishop is hurt and barely on his feet, and Walker lifts him up and places him on the top rope! Walker could be thinking of a superplex, and he locks Bishop in a front chancery, but Bishop kicks the bad leg of Walker, and Walker crashes to the mat, his leg still hung up on the middle rope.
V: Yeah Devy, finish him off!
Sir Oliver: Bishop is getting his footing and leaps, hitting a double stomp from the top rope right into the chest of Walker.
Lobo: What a move by Bishop, and he pulls Walker away from the ropes and hooks the legs, one… two… thre.. NO! Walker pushes Bishop off and rolls to his side.
V: What!? How did he kick out! Devy hit him right where he needed to! It’s over, Edwards can’t count for anything!
Sir Oliver: He is a perfectly able referee, Miss. It appears that Bishop just didn’t have enough to pin Walker.
V: Whatever.
Sir Oliver: Bishop himself seems to be taking up issue with the count and Walker is slowly getting to his feet and Bishop hooks him, looking for a DDT, but Walker picks him up and has him on his shoulders, and hits a death valley driver right into the turnbuckle! My word!
Lobo: Walker pulls Bishop out of the corner and drapes an arm over him, one… two… but Bishop gets his foot on the ropes to break up the count!
V: A genius! Devy is just… a… genius!
Lobo: Walker rolls off Bishop and is up to his feet, and he brings Bishop up with him. Walker whips him into the ropes and catches him with a huge spinebuster on the way back, and he hooks the leg, one… two… kickout by Bishop. Walker rolls up to his feet once again and he now is waiting for Bishop, almost like an executioner waiting for his victim.
V: Don’t be so morbid, Lobo.
Sir Oliver: Bishop stumbles into Walker, who drives him into the mat with a chokeslam! Another cover, one… two… kickout again by the champion!
Lobo: He’s showing his guts, I’ll give Bishop that.
V: He’s a real man, he won’t give up! Devy is the best!
Lobo: Walker just seems to not know what to throw at him next, and he gets to his feet while Bishop pulls himself up in the corner.
Sir Oliver: Those series of high impact moves from Walker have been taking their toll on the defending champion, and Walker slaps his bad leg a few times, probably getting the blood pumping, and he charges Bishop in the corner, looking for a big boot but Bishop moves! Walker’s boot goes over the top rope and Bishop clips the bad leg from the mat! Walker is hung upside down in a tree of woe!
Lobo: Bishop moves across the ring and gets a running start, hitting a diving European uppercut into Walker hanging upside down, bringing his forearm across the bridge of the nose. Bishop then gets to his feet and he grabs the bad leg, pulling it out from the corner, almost creating a wishbone submission!
V: Make a wish that your groin doesn’t snap there, Walker!
Sir Oliver: Edwards is telling Bishop to relinquish the hold, because Walker is still in the ropes, and Bishop gives it to the count of four before letting go. Walker tries to cover up, and Bishop now with a series of shots to the injured leg, and then snaps it across the middle rope.
Lobo: Meanwhile, Edwards has gotten Walker’s other leg out from the corner and Walker is down as Bishop drags him away from the rope, and then hits a Knee-DT on the injured leg. Bishop gets up, and hits another one, and Walker is howling in pain.
V: If he can’t walk, he can’t do anything to my Devy.
Lobo: Bishop with a spinning toe hold on Walker, and then he drops it into a figure-four leglock! He has it locked in and right in the middle of the ring!
Sir Oliver: Walker is in severe pain after the beating his leg has taken, and now he has nowhere to go. Bishop is putting the pressure on the leg and he bridges backward into the hold even more, bridging onto his hands and bringing his body high into the air. Walker lets out a scream and he is beginning to fade. He’s not giving up, but his shoulders are down! One… two… but he gets the shoulder up.
Lobo: Bishop is rocking back and forth to put more of a grind on the leg and the shoulders are down again, one… two… but Walker gets the shoulder up again. Now Walker is pushing up on his hands, trying to bring some leverage his own way.
V: Like, just give up you big idiot!
Sir Oliver: Walker is up on his hands, and it’s causing Bishop to have to get out of the bridge, and Walker lets out a scream as he throws his right arm over his left side, and he’s reversed the hold! Now all the pressure is on Devin Bishop!
V: No! Devy get to the ropes, baby! C’mon!
Sir Oliver: Bishop is now the one in trouble and he’s scrambling to get to the ropes, unlocking his legs from Walker. Bishop gets to his feet and immediately goes back to kicking and laying boots to Walker on the mat. Edwards admonishes Bishop and Bishop backs up, giving Walker a chance to get to his feet. Walker is very, very gingerly, looking at his leg, and Bishop is like a shark that smells blood.
Lobo: Bishop grabs the bad leg and pulls it up into the air, and it looks like he’s thinking of a dragon leg screw or something, he’s just goading Walker, but Walker leaps and hits an enziguri! Walker hits the mat, and Bishop is stunned and almost out on his feet. Walker gets to his feet and hooks Bishop, swinging sidewalk slam! Walker with a cover, one… two… but Bishop kicks out! Walker immediately pulls up Bishop and hits a piledriver! Bishop got spiked!
Sir Oliver: And now Walker is going to the top, and he might be thinking high risk! He’s trying to keep some weight off the bad leg and he leaps, big moonsault off the top and it finds its mark! One! Two! Thre… NO! DEVIN BISHOP is now the one to kick out, but just barely.
V: Yes! But he kicked out!
Sir Oliver: Walker gives an exasperated look at the referee, and now he’s bringing Bishop up to his feet and he looks like he’s wanting to powerbomb him again!
V: No, please no!
Lobo: Walker brings him up into a powerbomb, and he looks to spike him but Bishop with a punch to the temple and he is able to slither down his back and he locks in a dragon sleeper! He’s got a dragon sleeper locked in and he snakes the legs, constricting his body around CJ Walker! Devin Bishop is showing some flexibility…
V: Yeah he is! Let’s go Devy baby!
Lobo: And Walker is trying to fight it off, but Bishop is just out of reach. Walker also is trying to stay standing on that bad leg, and he’s struggling.
Sir Oliver: Walker reaches for the top rope, but Bishop hooks the arm and goes back to the dragon sleeper. Walker is trying to pull himself into a standing position, and he does, and now he’s been able to get a bit of the pressure of the sleeper off his neck.
Lobo: And he’s got Bishop in position for a powerslam, and Walker goes charging across the ring, but Bishop slides down his back before Walker slams him, Walker comes to a halt, Bishop with a double knee to the spine, driving Walker into the corner.
V: Walker comes stumbling back and Devy hooks him, hitting a tiger suplex! Bridges on those strong legs of his!
Lobo: One… two… but Walker kicks out! Bishop up and he hits a knee shot to the side of Walker’s head and rolls him over, one… two… shoulder up! Bishop now runs the ropes and hits a spinning neckbreaker on Walker as he gets to a knee. One… two… no!
Sir Oliver: Tenacity by Walker as Bishop is throwing everything he can at him, and now Bishop locks him in a triangle choke! He’s got the triangle on and Walker is again trapped in a submission move! Walker though grabs Bishop and lifts him into the air, and throws him hard into the corner with a buckle bomb!
Lobo: Bishop’s back and head connected with the turnbuckle and he goes down, and Walker is unable to follow up, collapsing to the mat.
V: Devy! Get up! C’mon!
Lobo: Both men are down, and Edwards is beginning a ten count on both men. Bishop is definitely stunned from the move, but Walker is just trying to get up on a bad wheel.
V: LET’S GO DEVY!!
Sir Oliver: Edwards is to the count of five… six… seven… and Walker pulls himself up on the ropes to break the count. Bishop is stirring, but he’s definitely looking a little worse for wear. Walker brings Bishop up to his feet and he brings Bishop up to the turnbuckle, and it looks like Walker is thinking again about something high risk.
Lobo: This didn’t work out last time, but he’s determined. Walker knows he’s gonna need to go big for this. He’s got Bishop locked, and he’s going for a superplex off the top rope. Bishop is trying to fight it off, but his blows are glancing.
V: I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
Lobo: Walker picks up Bishop for the superplex, but his leg gives out! His leg gives out as he had Bishop up in the air, and he nearly dropped Bishop on his head, while getting crotched on the top rope! Bishop’s body bounced from the superplex, but both men are still hurt, and Walker is trying to get to his feet, but he landed rough on the metal of the turnbuckle.
V: Serves him right!
Sir Oliver: I disagree, but it was certainly unfortunate. Bishop is getting to his feet and Walker is still on the top rope, and Bishop climbs up to the second rope, and he hits a sitout reverse DDT off the top! Walker landed hard, Bishop as well, but Bishop hooks the leg, one… two… the…
Lobo: NO!
Sir Oliver: Walker kicked out!
V: HOW?!
Sir Oliver: Walker kicked out and Bishop is in shock, but he’s trying to get up to his feet quickly, pulling Walker up.
Lobo: But Walker seemed ready for him and lifts him high into the air with an almost chokeslam style spinebuster! Bishop barely stayed in his boots when he hit the mat! Walker hooks the leg, he’s got him! One… two… thre… NO!
V: YES! YES! YES!
Sir Oliver: Bishop just barely kicked out, and both men are still down on the mat. Walker is breathing heavy and is trying again to get to his feet, and he gets to his feet, urged on by the crowd, and Bishop is almost looking like dead weight, but he’s getting up too. Walker with a wild swing of the right hand, which rocks Bishop. Bishop with a series of chops in return.
Lobo: These two men are trading chops and forearms, and both men just collapse into each other, basically holding each other up. Both men look exhausted and Bishop hits a series of hard, stiff, European uppercuts to Walker. Walker responds with a headbutt, dropping Bishop to a knee, but Walker is still nearly out on his feet.
Sir Oliver: I cannot believe what I’m seeing.
V: I can’t believe Walker has been stupid enough to keep trying to take a beating, really.
Lobo: Bishop leaps up and he hits a Flatliner! That caught Walker out of nowhere, and now he’s rolling to Walker’s legs, and he’s got them linked! He could be thinking of the “Bishop’s Gambit!”
V: Yes baby!
Lobo: He’s grapevine the legs, and he’s struggling to turn him! Walker is trying to fight it, but he’s taken a lot of abuse to that leg.
Sir Oliver: And Bishop is turning him finally, he’s got it locked in, and CJ Walker hits him square in the chest with the Heart Punch! Walker strikes him straight on with that shot and Bishop crumples to the mat!
Lobo: Walker hooks the leg, one… two… THREE!!!
V: NO! NO! NO!!
(BELL RINGS)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match… AND NEW UP WRESTLING OPENWEIGHT CHAMPION… CJ WALKER!!
Sir Oliver: CJ Walker has done it! He’s pinned Devin Bishop in the middle of the ring to win the World Title!
Lobo: This crowd is going nuts as Edwards presents him the title and Bishop is rolling out of the ring, and this crowd is on their feet. CJ Walker showed a lot of guts as he dealt with Bishop going after his leg all match.
Sir Oliver: And his timing on the Heart Punch was perfect, catching Bishop completely off guard.
V: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I don’t need to hear this! Devy was robbed… he was just… robbed. This can’t be happening!
Sir Oliver: CJ Walker now his title in his hands…
V: NOT his title!
Sir Oliver: And he lifts it high into the air victorious, soaking in the love from the crowd and… my word!
Lobo: It’s Jester LeBeau! Jester LeBeau has entered the ring and he cracks CJ Walker in the back of the head with a steel chair! Walker goes down and LeBeau continues assaulting him with a steel chair, and he drives the top of the chair right into his forehead, and CJ Walker is busted wide open.
Sir Oliver: LeBeau has been extremely on edge lately, and this must be a culmination of so many things, but right now, he’s leaving the ring, but he’s broken a steel chair across the new World Openweight Champion. He is smiling ear to ear and I can’t believe this is how this night ends for the new champion.
(Suddenly, “Keep Their Heads Ringing” by Doctor Dre hits and Kid Diaz comes sprinting down to the ring, pulling Anderson aside before sliding in.)
Sir Oliver: What is the meaning of this!?
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been informed that Kid Diaz has decided to use his Christmas Chaos prize at this moment. This is now a World Openweight Title Match!
Lobo: Listen, I get having an advantage, but this is a hell of one.
(BELL RINGS)
Sir Oliver: Mr. Diaz immediately goes for a cover, one… two… CJ Walker kicked out!
V: What?!
Lobo: Walker kicked out! Diaz looks absolutely shocked, and he picks Walker up and hits the “Crowd Control!”
V: He like, knocked over the referee though when he did it!
Sir Oliver: Poor Referee Edwards is down!
Lobo: Elijah is sliding in. He’s the back up ref.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Diaz picks CJ up and immediately hits a second Crowd Control! He’s not leaving anything to chance, Old Chap! He hooks the leg, one… two… three!
V: Like… what?
(BELL RINGS)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and NEW UP WRESTLING World Openweight Champion… KID DIAZ!!
Sir Oliver: What an absolute miscarriage of justice for young Mr. Walker.
Lobo: Diaz is celebrating his win, and… wait a minute… It's Devin Bishop who hands Diaz the title! Diaz grabs the title and the two men are staring each other down!
Sir Oliver: You can cut the tension with a knife and Mr. Bishop now raises Mr. Diaz’s arm in victory! I cannot believe what we’ve seen here tonight, and the foundation of UP Wrestling has changed.
Lobo: And at least for now, we’re just gonna have to leave it there. We’re out of time!
(The camera focuses on Kid raising both his arm and the UP Wrestling Openweight Title up in victory as the show comes to a close.)
BRING YOUR OWN WEAPONS MATCH
Wicked vs. The Robinsons
Lobo: Fans, this next match is going to be a bloodbath.
Sir Oliver: That’s one way of putting it. These teams have been at each other and made no bones about wanting to put the other team on a shelf.
V: Like, I was really anticipating this match. This was made to order for me.
Lobo: Then let’s not keep the little lady waiting any longer.
(Cut to the ring)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is a bring your own weapons match. It is set for one fall with a 1 hour time limit.
V: I hope it goes the full hour.
Lobo: I doubt that either team can last a full hour. It’s going to be brutal.
*Anderson: Introducing first, hailing from the great state of New York, they are Jumbo and Jett... THE ROBINSON FAMILY!!!
"If you're ready for this... (say you're ready for this!!!)?"
"If you're ready for this... (say you're ready for this!!!)?"
[The sounds of "That's the Joint" by Funky 4+1 play through the loudspeakers as Jumbo and Jett, The Robinson Family, enter to cheers. The two young boys have smiles as wide as can be as they do a little dance to their theme music. The pair are wearing black and gold trunks with matching boots.]
"THAT"S THE JOINT"
[Their brother Junior follows shortly behind them in a wheelchair at the top of the ramp. Still smiling, Jumbo picks Jett up on his shoulder and runs down the ring. Once they get to the bottom, Jett leaps off of his brother and into the ring. The pair milk the crowd for cheers as their brother and manager Junior wheels himself down to the ring after them.]
V: They didn’t bring any weapons.
Lobo: They will be delivered later.
*Anderson: And their opponents… UP Wrestling proudly presents - Vicious and Vile! The team that can only be - WICKED!!!
(The lights drop. The heavy pulsating beat of "Hearse of the Pharaohs" by Witchery thunders out from the PA system. Slowly the lights gradually brighten to reveal a fog shrouded ramp, onto which step Wicked. A giant, dark haired brute of a man stands next to a beautiful, but hard featured woman. He is clad entirely in black. She in white Both have matching blood red inverted pentacles on their vests. The crowds BOOS loudly, but the pair merely scowl at them as they arrogantly make their way to the ring.)
Sir Oliver: Wicked does tremendous damage with just what’s at hand in the ring. I can only imagine what they can do with weaponry.
V: **giggling** Yeah, me too.
Lobo: Here comes a wagon with a tarp over it.
Sir Oliver: And here comes somebody dressed up in full protective gear as he leads Paz down to the ring.
V: Paz is being peaceful. For now.
Lobo: Yeah, the calm before the storm.
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: And we’re ready to go. Both Vicious and Jett Robinson leap down out of the ring to grab a weapon. Vicious picks up Paz’s leash and climbs into the ring, Paz right behind him. Jett picks up the barbed wire bat and climbs back into the ring and turns just in time to see Paz snarling and heading toward him.
Sir Oliver: Looks like that barbed wire bat will come in handy.
V: I don’t know. Paz is pretty big and nasty. I mean, like, look what he did to Ruby’s hand.
Lobo: Paz leaps at Jett and knocks him down, Paz puts his face right up to Jett’s and growls. Jett tosses Paz off, sending him sailing out of the ring and landing on the floor. Vile grabs a weed whacker from the pile and tosses it into Vicious.
Sir Oliver: This is going to be nasty. I can see it already.
Lobo: Jett gets back up on his feet and picks the barbed wire bat up just as Vicious starts up the weed whacker and takes it Jett’s legs, leaving deep cuts in the shins. Jett swings the bat and connects with Vicious’ side, drawing blood of his own. Vicious barely notices it and comes back in for another pass with the weed whacker. Jett manages to dodge it and get to his corner to make the tag.
V: This is great! I do hope that Paz is OK.
Sir Oliver: Vile is over by him and checking on him. Paz is back on his feet and looks longingly into the ring.
Lobo: Jumbo grabs a shovel from the pile before he enters the ring.
Sir Oliver: It looks like Vile has had enough of the one weapon at a time nonsense. She’s taken the entire wagon of weaponry and deposited them in the ring.
V: Good! That’ll make it easier to gain access.
Lobo: Jumbo swings the shovel at Vicious who ducks it. Vicious tosses the weed whacker and heads to the pile of weaponry. Vicious grabs the kitchen sink. Vicious charges Jumbo who takes a swing with the shovel and clangs against the sink.
Sir Oliver: It appears that the shovel has broken. Evidently it was not made to hit a kitchen sink.
V: However, that DOES leave Jumbo with a nice spear.
Lobo: Not for long. Vicious grabs the shovel handle from Jumbo and spins it like a quarterstaff.
V: Yipee!
Lobo: Jumbo dives for the pile and grabs the taser. He triggers it and hits Vicious with a jolt. Vicious stiffens momentarily then stumbles back to his corner to tag Vile in.
V: Oooh. Like, Vile is even more dangerous than Vicious. She stops and gets the cheese grater.
Lobo: Sounds right to me. Vile likes to get up close and personal with her violence.
Sir Oliver: Did you see the way she looked at that cheese grater?
V: Like, yeah. She looked like she was in love.
Lobo: Jumbo goes to the weapon pile and pulls out a prosthetic leg. Jumbo swings the leg like a bat but Vile ducks it. Vile gets in close and….OH MY GOD!
Sir Oliver: I do hope that Jumbo wasn’t planning on having children any time soon.
V: I knew Vile was brutal, but using a cheese grater on Jumbo’s groin…like Ewww! Remind me to have that washed before it gets returned to the kitchen.
Lobo: Jumbo grabs himself and goes to the mat. Vile laughs as she takes the cheese grater to Jumbo’s face. She’s raking it across his forehead and down his nose. Jumbo’s face looks like a hamburger.
Sir Oliver: Jumbo is close to the pile. He reaches back and finds the pepper spray. Jumbo sprays Vile in the face with the pepper spray.
V: That made her stop. Like, I’ll bet that burns!
Lobo: Vile staggers back and tags Vicious back in the ring. Jumbo makes it back and tags Jett back in as well.
Sir Oliver: What is that in Jett’s hand?
Lobo: It looks like a pair of cuffs!
V: Like, that’ll even the odds considerably.
Lobo: Jett surprises Vicious by grabbing him by the wrist and whipping him hard into a corner. Jett races over and cuffs Vicious to the rope.
Sir Oliver: Oh, I say. That will most assuredly limit his mobility and ability to fight back.
V: Maybe not enough. Like, Vicious is very resourceful.
Lobo: Jett picks up a handful of peppers and walks casually up to Vicious. Jett ducks the wild swing Vicious directed at him. Jett takes the peppers and stuffs them into Vicious' mouth, then holds his nose and has his hand over Vicious' mouth so he can’t spit them out.
Sir Oliver: If I am not mistaken, those are not just any pepper. Those are Carolina Reapers, the hottest pepper in the world.
V: Like, those are over 2 million scovilles. I know that the chef has to wear gloves when he cooks with them.
Sir Oliver: My word! What dish would you possibly want to put that pepper in?
V: It makes some unbelievable chili. Like, it’s really funny to serve it to our unsuspecting dinner guests.
Lobo: Yes, I can believe that.
Sir Oliver: It does appear that Vile is not going to allow her husband to be abused quite like that. She is helping Paz back into the ring. Paz charges Jett and leaps at him, driving him to the mat. Jett rolls out of the way and Paz is right on top of him.
V: It looks like Paz wants to get some revenge on Jett. Like, I don’t think he appreciated being tossed out of the ring.
Lobo: Paz smells blood! He’s leaving Jett and charging Jumbo in the corner! He’s heading straight for Jumbo’s crotch!
V: Like, the dog definitely knows where to go to disable somebody quickly.
Lobo: Jumbo leaps into the ring and picks up the armor. He swings it at Paz. Vile leaps into the ring and charges Jett.
Sir Oliver: Well, this certainly devolved quickly.
V: I like it better this way! Let all 4 of them mix it up!
Lobo: Vile pulls Paz back just before Jumbo can swing the armor and hit the dog. Vile picks up a kendo stick and smashes Jumbo hard on the side of the head, sending him sprawling. Jett picks up the steel chair and smashes it across the back of Vile’s head, sending her to her knees.
Sir Oliver: Jumbo is looking around
Lobo: Something is wrong here?
Sir Oliver: What is this bloke thinking?
V: Like, Jumbo is reaching down into his trunks and pulling out a key!!!
Lobo: Is Jumbo Robinson going to UNCUFF Vicious?
V: Like, I never thought it possible, but he must be even dumber than I initially thought!
Sir Oliver: Jumbo is uncuffing Vicious. Vicious has no idea what is going on!.
Jumbo: I am one with the pain!!!!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Lobo: Vicious isn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth! He starts clubbing Jumbo with huge forearm smashes while Jumbo fires back with blows of his own to Vicious' head. Jumbo with a headbutt that doesn’t faze Vicious one bit.
Sir Oliver: Meanwhile Paz is still trying to get at Jumbo, however Jett manages to shove Paz out of the ring once again.
V: Poor doggie! I hope Wicked will give him a special treat after the show.
Lobo: I’m sure they have half a cow stored in the back for him.
Sir Oliver: I wouldn’t be surprised if it were a whole herd of cattle.
Lobo: Jumbo and Vicious tumble out to the floor where they continue to trade heavy blows. Meanwhile, in the ring, Jett and Vile are still going at it. Vile has the cheese grater once again and Jett has a kendo stick.
V: Like, it’s taking a gun to a knife fight.
Lobo: I don’t blame him. He wants to stay as far away from that cheese grater as possible.
Sir Oliver: You mean, he wants to keep his groin as far away from the cheese grater as possible.
Lobo: As you would say…quite.
V: Oh Lord! Don’t tell me you BOTH are going to speak like a couple of Limey goofballs.
Lobo: As YOU would say…Like no way!
V: Now you’re mocking me. Like, I’m sure mother wouldn’t be happy to hear this.
Lobo: I apologize.
V: Gotcha!
Lobo: WATCH OUT! Jumbo and Vicious are busily trading blows and they’re headed this way!
V: THEY’RE COMING RIGHT AT ME!
Sir Oliver: I have you young lady.
(Sir Oliver pulls Vee out of the way as both Vicious and Jumbo crash through the table, turning it to splinters.)
V: Like, that was close!
Sir Oliver: You’re welcome young miss.
V: Like, whatever.
Lobo: Jett swings the kendo stick and strikes Vile on the legs, taking her legs out from under her. Jett hauls her to her feet and starts in delivering the Robinson Special #2. He starts to pepper her face with a flurry of jabs, driving her backwards.
Sir Oliver: Quite an impressive maneuver there as Jett turns his back on Vile, never a good idea, and does a backward somersault and follows up with a Pele kick. Vile goes down.
Edwards: 1…2…3!
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this match are THE ROBINSONS!
Lobo: Jumbo smashes one of the monitors on Vicious' head and races back to the ring to celebrate with his brother.
Sir Oliver: Jumbo grabs Jett in a big bear hug and Jett hugs him back as they dance in the ring.
V: Vicious is coming around and Vile looks ready to sic Paz on them once again.
Lobo: The Robinsons beat a hasty retreat to the back, celebrating all the way.
SIN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
"The Professional" Rain Blackheart vs. ??????
*Anderson: “Our next match is for the SIN CITY CHAAAAAAAAAMPIONSHIP!!!!!”
Crowd: “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”
*Anderson: “From Lexington, Kentucky... he stands at five foot eleven inches tall and weighs in tonight at two hundred and ten pounds... representing the Black Hand with his business manager Terrance Christopher… He is the SIN CITY CHAMPION… THE PROFESSIONAL RAIN BLACKHEART!”
["Still Unbroken" by Lynyrd Skynyrd to play as Rain walks out to the ring with a three-quarter length black leather coat with a hood over his head. His black pants with the Black Hand logo on the right leg in silver and his personal logo of a black heart with a blade piercing it outlined in silver on the left, black boots with silver kick pads, silver knee and elbow pads and the trademark black glove on his right hand. He strolls out with his manager, Terrance Christopher a step behind, dressed in a custom made 3-piece suit, alligator shoes, ivory walking stick and a black glove on his right hand also. Rain walks into the ring wearing the belt, takes it off and raises it to the crowd with his gloved hand.]
Crowd: “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
Lobo: “A mixed reaction for the Sin City Champion.”
Sir Oliver: “This crowd doesn’t know whether to cheer or to boo him!”
*Anderson: “His opponent… is the winner of the VENDETTA fan voting contest…”
V: “Who will it be???!”
*Anderson: “Ladies and Gentlemen - at only 5'4" and weighing in at just 115 pounds - all the way from the Land of the Fairies! The incredible.....PIXILICIOUS!”
Crowd: “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Sir Oliver: Now SHE’S someone the crowd can get behind.”
V: “Whatta buncha idiots!”
(Tomdandy's "Rooftop" hits and a glittering curtain of pink confetti falls above the ramp. Stepping through it comes Pixilicious. Clad all in pink, her daring and revealing costume compels the camera and all present to star. Pixi throws her arms wide, scattering glittering pink dust to left and right before skipping and bouncing her way to the ring, slapping hands with the fans as she does.
In the centre of the ring she folds over, her long green hair falling to the mat. She stamps her foot three times and claps in unison, before exploding upwards, both arms high and wide, yelling PIXIE POWER! Smiling confidently, she then takes her corner.)
[The two wait in their respective turnbuckles and stare in the direction of Elijah Anderson.]
Lobo: “Rain Blackheart asked for the stipulation not to be revealed before the match.”
Sir Oliver: “The presents just keep coming this holiday season. THE SUSPENSE!”
Elijah Anderson: “As decided by a D20 DICE ROLL… THE STIPULATION FOR THIS MATCH WILL BE….”
*Anderson: “A THIRTY MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH!!!!”
Crowd: “YEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”
V: “You mean I have to sit here for thirty whole minutes? My bladder!”
Lobo: “Yes, you will! Our timekeeper is placing a 30 minute time limit, whoever has the most pinfalls at the end of the time period will win.”
Sir Oliver: “One would have to think this match favors the champion in Rain Blackheart. Pixilicious relies on a high flyer offense that tends to tire a person out.”
[…..]
Lobo: “Oh boy.”
["Higher Place" by Journey plays as RON MASTERSON walks through the curtain!]
Sir Oliver: “What is HE doing here?”
Lobo: “Could he have used his CHRISTMAS CHAOS prize?”
V: “What a load of garbage. Like, who would ever want to see Ron Masterson?”
[Dressed in his ring gear and a dark brown leather vest, Ron slaps hands with the fans, all smiles, while Donnie D. Falco follows close behind, doing the same. Ron walks up the steps and onto the apron, where he wipes his feet and nods to the fans before stepping between the ropes. Falco makes his way to a corner while Ron removes his ring jacket and hands it to him.]
*Anderson: “This match is now a THREE WAY DANCE for the SIN CITY CHAMPIONSHIP! Hailing from Phoenix, Arizona, standing at six feet one inch tall, and weighing in at two hundred and fifty-one pounds... he is the Thunder Kid... RON MASTERSON!!!”
[All three competitors stand in the ring and we begin our match.]
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: “This is crazy, a three way IRON MAN… or woman… match for the Sin City title. Sir Oliver, do you still think Rain Blackheart is the favorite here?”
Sir Oliver: “Well, Ron Masterson throws everything out of whack. It’s all CHAOS. Crikey!”
[Pixilicious rushes at the champion Rain Blackheart, Rain ducks down for a back body drop, flipping Pixilicious in the air, she lands on her feet. She turns around, Rain turns around, roundhouse kick from Pixilicious, Rain ducks, but gets leg swept from behind by Ron Masterson. Ron Masterson lunges at Pixilicious, but gets met with a DROPKICK from her. Pixilicious and Rain Blackheart are up, Ron Masterson kips up to his feet! The three stare at each other.]
Lobo: “Oh boy, we’re in for a good one, aren’t we Sir Oliver?”
Sir Oliver: “Yes, all three of these chaps are masters of endurance.”
Crowd: CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!!!!!
[Ron Masterson tries to catch Rain Blackheart with a kick to the gut, Rain catches it the leg and elbows it with one arm while still holding on so now both men are on the ground with Rain applying a submission hold. Pixilicious breaks it up.]
[She picks Rain Blackheart up and hits a quick swinging neckbreaker! Ron Masterson is next and the two lock up, Pixilicious breaks the lock up and hits a palm strike, followed by ANOTHER palm strike… Ron Masters backs up against the ropes, he bounces off and attempts a clothesline, Pixilicious moves out of the way, but Ron Masterson expects it and hits a FULL NELSON SLAM!]
Lobo: “Incredible… our three competitors are jockeying for position here, we’ll see if any of them can gain the upper hand!”
[Rain Blackheart and Ron Masterson face each other. Rain Blackheart hits a punch to Ron Masterson’s face, Ron follows up with some of his own. Rain dodges one and switches into repeated ELBOW STRIKES to Ron’s head, pushing him up against the ropes and continuing to make MUSH of his face!]
Crowd: “…SEVEN… EIGHT… NINE… TEN...”
[Ron Masterson comes away dazed… Rain finishes him off with a clothesline plus the pin!]
Edwards: “ONE!!!!”
Lobo: “Pixilicious breaks up the count!”
Sir Oliver: ‘Wow! Look at Masterson’s face!!!”
V: “Yeah, that’s what I like to see.. serves that fool right! Like, no one wanted him here!”
[Ron’s face might be bloody but he still gets up relatively quickly. Pixilicious and Blackheart trade punches… Blackheart tries to grab Pixilicious… he doesn’t try he does… BELLY to BELLY SUPLEX! Pixilicious is up… Blackheart tries again for the grab… but this time gets met with a brutal JUMPING KNEE STRIKE from Pixilicious!]
[Ron Masterson grabs Pixilicious and tries to pick her up, she gives resistance. He is bent down, so she elbows his back. She finally breaks free and bounces herself off of the ropes…]
Lobo: “Pixilicious runs right into a ROLLING SLAM from THE THUNDER KID! Wait, Ron is holding on… TEXAS CLOVERLEAF from Masterson! Could we have our FIRST pin?”
[No, because Pixilicious scoots her way to the ropes. She scooted pretty quickly, but it took something out of her. She takes a breath before getting up. It’s Rain and Masterson again… Rain sets Ron up… looks like he’s going for the flatliner… Ron reverses and gets his back… could be going for the back suplex… Rain reverses again, only for Ron to reverse….]
Sir Oliver: “Watch out blokes!!!!”
Lobo: “Pixilicious with a CROSS BODY SPLASH on BOTH MEN!”
[Pixilicious rolls the champion Rain Blackheart up.]
Edwards: “One…. TWO…” [KICKOUT!!!]
[Pixilicious figures since the top rope worked before she might as well try it again. Both men are slow to get up. She hesitates and that’s enough time for Ron Masterson to shake the ropes and put her in a compromised position on the turnbuckle. Rain Blackheart jumps on the turnbuckle and puts Pixilicious in a headlock….]
Crowd: “YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!”
Lobo: “Suplex off the top rope from BLACKHEART!!!!! BUT LOOK!”
[Ron Masterson wastes no time picking up Rain Blackheart, hooking his leg and picking him up…]
Lobo: “HERO’S CALL! HERO’S CALL FROM MASTERSON!”
[Masterson hooks the leg for a pin!]
Edwards: “ONE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! THREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!”
Lobo: “The champion has been pinned! The CHAMPION has been pinned!”
Sir Oliver: “Wouldn’t have called that as the first pin of the night.”
V: “No, Rain Blackheart is the closest thing to a talent and a good person up there. Hate to see it happen to him.”
------------------------
Pin COUNT:
Ron Masterson: 1
Rain Blackheart: 0
Pixilicious: 0
------------------------
Lobo: “Ron Masterson is bloodied but he is the freshest person in this match. One would think that he only has to play defense from here on in, no?”
Sir Oliver: “Well there is a lot of time left-“
*Anderson: “There are TWENTY MINUTES left in this match!”
Sir Oliver: “Well, twenty minutes, that was very timely!”
[Masterson is up but Blackheart and Pixilicious are slow to get up. Masterson pick up Blackheart again and hook him for ANOTHER Hero’s Call… but Blackheart is too fast and gets behind him…]
Lobo: “KATA HAJIME!!!”
[Masterson goes down but Pixilicious stands over both of them. She starts stomping on Blackheart's head, making Blackheart break the hold! She picks Blackheart up…]
!!! CHOP !!!
Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
!!! CHOP !!!
Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
!!! CHOP !!!
Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
[Blackheart staggers backward… Pixilicious goes for another chop… but Blackheart goes low… he grabs her legs, sweeping her. Then he climbs over to put on another KATA HAJIME!!!]
Lobo: “Could this be it for Pixilicious? No! Masterson breaks it up!”
[All three competitors are up now. Pixilicious and Masterson are breathing heavily due to the submission attempts from Blackheart. Blackheart is banged up due to the Hero’s call from Masterson. They’re all a mess and there is still a while to go!]
[Blackheart fakes like he’s going for Masterson but instead goes for Pixilicious… grabbing her by the waist for a quick elbow before tossing her to the ropes, he swings at her upon her return but she ducks and bounces off the opposite rope... Cross body block from Pixilicious! Blackheart is up, Pixilicious lunches at Blackheart, Blackheart throws Pixilicious against the ropes AGAIN-no! She reverses and throws Blackheart against the ropes. Blackheart stops his momentum and instead crawls under the ropes to the apron. Blackheart pulls back the top rope in some kind of slingshot maneuver…]
Crowd: “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
Lobo: “Masterson with the DROPKICK to Blackheart sending him flying! He didn’t see him coming!”
Sir Lobo: “That bloke looks hurt! Rough night at the office for the champion!”
[Pixilicious and Ron Masterson stand face to face. Masterson goes for a punch instead to get hit with a KNEE from Pixilicious… Masterson staggers backward. Pixilicious goes for the knee strike again, but Masterson steps out of the way and hits a DISCUS CLOTHESLINE on Pixilicious! Masterson picks her up and hooks the leg…]
Lobo: “Could Masterson be going for TWO here?”
[No! Pixilicious breaks the hold and hits a PARALYZING NERVE STRIKE…]
[…. Followed by a SPINNING CHOP to the throat…]
[… Followed by a SCISSOR CHOP to the throat…]
[…She then bounces off the rope and does a HANDSTAND KICK right to Masterson’s blooded face. He drops down to the ground. Pixilicious pins him…]
Edwards: “One….”
Edwards: “Two…”
Edwards: “Three!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
------------------------
Pin COUNT:
Ron Masterson: 1
Pixilicious: 1
Rain Blackheart: 0
------------------------
Lobo: “And this is a competition now… with both Masterson and Pixilicious tied at one.”
Sir Oliver: “The former champion, Blackheart, is the only one that hasn’t scored yet, poor chap!”
V: “Have they even said what would happen in the event of a tie? Does Rain Blackheart just retain his title? Do they even think these things through?”
Lobo: “Isn’t your mother the one who makes these decisions?”
V: “So what? Like, I can’t criticize my mother?”
[Rain Blackheart slides himself back into the ring. Ron Masterson is out cold. Rain Blackheart sneaks up behind Pixilicious, taking out her knees. He follows up with a number of elbow strikes to her head.]
Lobo: “Rain Blackheart left Ron Masterson a bloody mess with his strikes earlier in the match. Now Pixilicious is getting battered with them”
[Blackheart picks Pixilicious up by the hair, SUPLEX!!! He holds on… hits another SUPLEX… He goes for a third… broken up by Ron Masterson, who is still reeling from the combo as of Pixilicious earlier. A quick knee to Ron Masterson’s kneeling body sends him back to the canvas. Blackheart continues his onslaught on Pixilicious!]
[Rain Blackheart… goes for another suplex… but it’s countered by Pixilicious into a DDT! She quickly goes to the top turnbuckle… she jumps off… SPLASH!]
Lobo: “No! Blackheart moved out of the way! Very quick thinking from the champion!”
[Blackheart, picks Pixlicious up and places her standing against the corner turnbuckle…ELBOW to the FACE from Blackheart. Followed by another. And another! And another! And another! Masterson is in the mix now… he turns Blackheart around and PUNCHES him in the gut!]
[All three competitors are near the turnbuckle now…Masterson sandwiches both Pixlicious and Blackheart together, then gets a running start…]
Lobo: “The Thunder Kid is a big guy what’s he going to do here… CROSSBODY SPLASH!!!”
Sir Oliver: “But the champion moved out of the way!”
V: “He still got that brat Pixilicious, though!”
[Pixilicious is reeling. Masterson may have hurt himself with that cross body splash as he looks faded along with the combo from Pixilicious earlier… Still Pixilicious jumps on the top turnbuckle in a sitting position, grabbing Masterson from behind and laying in some shots to his head.]
Crowd: “One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine-“
[Ron Masterson dazed, picks up Pixilicious so she’s seated on his shoulders.]
Sir Oliver: “Oh boy, this can’t be good…”
[Masterson stumbles slowly to the center of the ring, Pixilicious still on his shoulders. Rain Blackheart is now crouched down and looking at the two… he has mischief on his mind]
CROWD: “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”
Lobo: “SPEAR FROM RAIN BLACKHEART!!! SPEAR FROM RAIN BLACKHEART!!!!!”
Sir Oliver: “Pixilicious landed pretty badly too!
*Anderson: “There are ten minutes left in the match!”
Lobo: “Time is running out for Rain Blackheart, who has yet to score a pinfall or submission in this contest.
[All three competitors are down, but Blackheart is the first to get up, followed by Pixilicious. They trade blows: Pixilicious with a kick, followed by Rain Blackheart with a punch, Pixilicious tries another kick, but Blackheart throws her against the ropes, she jumps over Masterson in the process and returns with a HURRICANRANA that sends Blackheart huddled against the ropes...]
[Pixilicious goes to the top rope…]
Lobo: “Could Pixilicious be looking for the lead here?”
V: “Duh, of course she is… like, she’s trying to win, loser!”
[Blackheart un-huddles himself from the ropes and walks around staggered. Pixilicious jumps… only to be caught and converted into a standing T-BONE SUPLEX FROM RAIN BLACKHEART!!!!”
Sir Oliver: “And he’s not done!”
Lobo: “No he’s not! KATA HAJIME on Pixilicious… could the third time be the charm?]
[Pixilicious struggles mightily. She squirms and squirms…]
Lobo: “Either she taps here or goes out, neither is a good scenario.”
[Pixilicious taps!]
------------------------
COUNT:
Ron Masterson: 1
Pixilicious: 1
Rain Blackheart: 1
------------------------
Lobo: “It’s a new match! Everyone is tied at 1! With a little over 7 minutes left.”
[To recap, the bloodied Ron Masterson is slowly making his way back to his feet. Pixilicious, having just been submitted, is gasping for air. Rain Blackheart, the reigning champion, is the freshest here but has taken a ton of damage himself, including a Hero’s call from Masterson.]
Sir Oliver: “What is interesting is that all 3 managers are present here, but there has been zero shenanigans from them. What a buncha good blokes!”
[Blackheart is up, so is Masterson… Blackheart kicks him the gut, grabs him and-]
Lobo: “ROLLING BLACKOUT from Blackheart no-“
[Masterson manages to reverse himself out of it and break the hold. He then slaps
Blackheart against the chest…]
Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
[Blackheart follows with a slap of his own!]
Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
[Masterson staggers back a bit, but repays Blackheart.]
Crowd: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
*SLAP!* WOOO! *SLAP!* WOOO! *SLAP!* WOOO! *SLAP!* WOOO! *SLAP!* WOOO! *SLAP!* WOOO!
[Both men are still standing, but wobbly. Of course, this is prime time for Pixilicious to jump OUT OF THE AIR AND HIT ONE LEGGED DROP KICKS ON BOTH MEN! She kips up and admires her work!]
Crowd: Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
[She goes over to Masterson, who surprises her by hooking her leg!]
Lobo: “Oh no, could this be another Hero’s Call? Masterson would take the lead here!”
[No! Pixi breaks out of it. But then she grabs Masterson by the NECK!]
Lobo: “THE PIXINATOR! THE PIXINATOR!”
[Pixilicious goes for the pin!]
Referee: “One! Two! Three!”
------------------------
COUNT:
Ron Masterson: 1
Pixilicious: 2
Rain Blackheart: 1
------------------------
Lobo: “Pixilicious takes the lead!”
Sir Oliver: “But look at her she’s exhausted!”
V: “So is everyone else in this match! Like, look at them!”
*Anderson: “THERE ARE FIVE MINUTES LEFT IN THIS MATCH!”
Lobo: “Rain Blackheart and Ron Masterson must do everything in their power to catch up here or else we’ll have a NEW champion!”
[There is a look of determination on both men’s faces, but Masterson is still hurting from the Pixinator, so there’s not much he can do. Still, he figures that Pixilicious is the most fatigued now due to the fact that she tapped out to a kata hajime not too long ago.]
[Ron Masterson throws a weak punch which is a fake to grab her and go for a full nelson! He begins shaking Pixilicious around like a ragdoll as she frantically tries to escape.]
[Rain Blackheart is having none of it however and after some time comes in their vicinity, Masterson let’s go of the hold and tries to grab Blackheart. The two grapple each other trying to get the upper hand. Finally, Ron does, and hits a SNAP SUPLEX on Rain Blackheart. He immediately locks on a Texas cloverleaf!]
[Blackheart's leg is in pain, but Pixilicious is able to break it up. Throwing a diving elbow towards both men. She strikes Masterson, then gets a running start from the turnbuckle… and hitting a running uppercut… sending him flying. She then jumps on the top rope and hits a HURRICANRANA on Masterson! But no he moved out of the way. He gets up and tries to HOOK her leg again…]
[No Blackheart prevents that from happening! The two trade punches, each one becoming harder and more determined as the clock winds down.]
Lobo: “Pixilicious seems content to let these two just lay into each other!”
V: “Wouldn’t you? She’s already winning! Like, take it easy, girl!”
[Finally, Blackheart gets the better of Masterson, who is down on one knee and bloodied in the face. Blackheart grabs Masterson... ROLLING BLACKOUT???]
Lobo: “No! Pixilicious breaks it up, protecting her lead!”
[Blackheart is fed up. He attacks Pixilicious furiously with punches and kicks, then sweeps her leg and goes for the KATA HAJIME again!]
Lobo: “It worked before, will it work again?”
Sir Oliver: “No, too close to the ropes!”
[Blackheart breaks the hold. Pixilicious uses the ropes to help herself up. Blackheart goes over to pick up where he left off, but Masterson shoves him out of the way, only to get hit with OOF! A back kick to the gut from Pixi!]
[That doesn’t stop a HUGE elbow to the face from Blackheart. Blackheart picks her up… for ANOTHER SUPLEX!!! He goes for the pin…]
Edwards: “One….” “Two….” [KICKOUT!!!]
Lobo: “That has to be demoralizing for Rain Blackheart.”
Sir Oliver: “IF he’s even awake to know what is going on!”
[Indeed, Blackheart is dazed, and Masterson should go for the pin here, but instead opts to make sure it is broken. He picks him up and does try to the leg again… but gets kicked in the gut by Pixilicious, who then elbows him on the back a few times, but Masterson is unperturbed…]
[He picks Pixilicious up for the back body drop, she falls on her back. He goes to the second rope…]
Lobo: “URU-PLEX ON Pixilicious!”
Sir Oliver: “That bloke looks dead!”
[Masterson goes for the pin…]
Edwards: “One…” “Two….” “THREE!!!!!”
Lobo: “PIXI GOT HER SHOULDER UP!”
[Masterson is frustrated. He knows what time it is, though. It worked before. But of course Rain Blackheart complicates things.]
*Anderson: “Three is one minute left in the match! ONE MINUTE LEFT!”
[Rain Blackheart launches an ELBOW at Masterson. Masterson returns with a well-placed punch. Pixilicious staggers up and joins the fray, she punches the champion in the face! The three continually trade blows on one another!]
Crowd: “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
~~* BONK *~~
Lobo: “Rain has the right idea! He smashes both Pixilicious and Masterson’s heads into one another!”
[He holds on to Pixilicious…]
Lobo: “TIME IS RUNNING OUT! CAN RAIN BLACKHEART DO IT?!”
Sir Oliver: “The suspense is killing me.”
[Masterson slowly gets up to his feet…]
Crowd: “OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
Lobo: “ROLLING BLACKOUT! ROLLING BLACKOUT! Blackheart did it!”
[Blackheart hit the Rolling Blackout on Pixilicious and goes for the pin.]
Edwards: “One…”
Edwards: “TWO!!!!!!”
Edwards: “THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
[………..]
Lobo: “MASTERSON BROKE UP THE COUNT! MASTERSON BROKE UP THE COUNT!”
V: “What a numbskull! Rain Blackheart is the best we’ve got here!”
[Rain is incredulous! He looks at the time and Pixi’s lifeless body and goes for the pin again!]
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: “The match is over! Pixilicious is the new Sin City champion!”
[Rain Blackheart looks frustrated and exhausted. He looks at Masterson, who also looks frustrated and exhausted and shakes his head. Pixi is slowly coming back to life. The referee tells her that she just won the match, she smiles while still lying flat on the mat.]
Vignette - Trixie Mars
We cut to a black screen and silence. Slowly, a distant, emerald light cuts horizontally in the background, and a figure begins to emerge, though it’s not distinguishable.
Female Voice: 2022 is a new year, and with a new year, a new face will arrive in UP Wrestling…
The figure gets closer still, and as it does, the light gets bigger and brighter, slowly revealing more of the approaching figure.
Female Voice: A face that’s been cutting it in the indies, but wants to bring her talents to a new level, and where better than UP Wrestling? Just like me, in the last two years it too has built its reputation, it’s like we’re made for each other.
We begin to make out the figure, a woman, and it’s her voice that we can hear. Before she can say anything else, a second figure approaches from over her shoulder, male.
Unknown Man: Not only are you made for UP Wrestling, Trixie, you’re made for The Academy…which is why I’m here as well.
The man is revealed to be former XHF X*Crown Champion, Rob Arnold. Arnold stands over her shoulder, a smirk creeping across his face.
Rob Arnold: Hello UP Wrestling. I’ve been keeping a close eye on you since you joined the XHF Network circus, and I’ve also been keeping an eye on the woman I’d like to formally introduce to you as Trixie Mars.
Arnold places a hand on her shoulder.
Rob Arnold: She’s been causing her own brand of trouble on the upper west coast, but I knew the second I saw her that she needed to bring that to the Network. So enjoy the holiday period, because once you see her in action, you’re going to realise that you’re just not ready for her…and you may never be. Be warned, The Emerald Underdog is coming.
He smirks again and walks off camera, leaving one final word from Mars.
Trixie Mars: Oh UP Wrestling, you’re not going to believe the mess I make.
She winks and the screen cuts to black.
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Rated M vs. ??????
Lobo: This next match is for the tag team championship. Rated M is going to be defending their titles against an opponent chosen by you, the viewer. Who got the votes?
Sir Oliver: It could be anybody, it could be Wicked, it could be Team Sp!ke, it could be Public Nuisance…it could literally be anybody.
V: I’d love to watch Wicked take on Rated M. Like, can you imagine the blood?
Lobo: Well, let’s end the suspense right now and go to the ring to find out.
(Cut to the ring)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is a championship match for the UWF tag team titles. Introducing first…Representing the Black Hand... they are the tag team of KID DIAZ and ADAM MILLER!!!
A light drum roll begins...
(Voice over begins to speak....)
This is their destiny...
This is their place...
This is their time...
They will CONQUER ALL!!!
("Dark Breed" By Robert Slump blares throughout the arena. The BLACKHAND skull symbol appears on the screen. The skull illuminates and flashes and slowly fades away but re illuminates bright black and white lights.
The ramp is covered in dry ice as Miller and Diaz appear from the smoke they stand at the top of the ramp and raise their black gloved hands above their head. They fist bump and make their way to the ring. Down the ramp and Miller runs and slides into the ring. He climbs to the second rope and raises his arm up. Diaz hops up onto the apron on his knee, letting his other leg hang loosely, as he pulls his sunglasses off, and tosses them into the crowd. He quickly lifts his leg and slips it through the ropes, straddling the middle rope for a moment for the fans to bask in his glory, before completely getting in the ring. Diaz quickly turns and climbs up onto the second turnbuckle and flexes! Both men return to the center of the ring and they fist bump. The music fades out as the men walk to their corner.)
Lobo: Not one ounce of apprehension with these two.
Sir Oliver: They are the champions, and they feel assured that they will prevail. However, there has to be some team that they don’t want to see.
*Anderson: And their opponents, voted on by YOU the fans…Ladies and Gentlemen….Let’s get ready to RAISE…SOME…HELL! Coming to the ring, from Holly Springs Tennessee at a combined weight of four hundred and two pounds…the team of “Shotgun” Annie Castle and “The Bone Collector” Carson Castle…let’s make some noise for THE TENNESSEE HELLRAISER’S COALITION….THC!!!
(Carson and Annie Castle step onto the entrance ramp as “Two Middle Fingers” by State of Mine begins to fill the arena. Carson raises both arms into the air and extends his middle fingers as Annie takes a swig of whiskey and pumps her shotgun with one hand. The two then run full speed to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope. Carson steps out wide and raises his middle fingers to the crowd as Annie slides between his legs on the mat. She also extends her middle fingers to the crowd and gives an evil little grin. The two move back to their corner and remove their ring gear as they wait for the bell.)
Lobo: WHAT? This is the ultimate match up.
Sir Oliver: I say, what with the history these two have with each other, this match is ideal.
V: Like, THC blows up the Black Hand party bus, the Black Hand retaliates by destroying THC’s truck…I can wait to see what these two do to each other. Like, it’s going to be gloriously brutal.
Sir Oliver: For once, I must totally agree with the young miss. This match is going to be elegant in its total lack of regard for either one's own body or the opponent’s well being.
Lobo: Well, it looks like we’re not going to have to wait too much longer as referee Edwards calls for the bell.
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: Kid Diaz is starting things out for Rated M while Carson starts off for THC. Both men move to the center of the ring and lock up. Carson takes Kid Diaz in a side headlock and starts to grind it on. Kid Diaz with the push off sends Carson into the ropes. Kid Diaz misses the clothesline allowing Carson to circle behind him and shoves Kid Diaz into the THC corner.
Sir Oliver: Kid Diaz is not in a particularly efficacious position.
V: In a what?
Sir Oliver: Efficacious.
V: What language is that?
Sir Oliver: It is English.
V: Like, it’s no English I’m familiar with.
Sir Oliver: Evidently.
Lobo: Annie takes the opportunity of having Kid Diaz in her corner to put on a rear naked choke. Annie has Kid Diaz off his feet as she continues to choke him out. Carson charges over and kicks Diaz in the midsection. Referee Edwards is there and starts counting.
Edwards: 1…2…3…4…
Lobo: Annie Castle breaks the hold at 4.
V: Like, why not? She has until 5.
*Anderson: Referee Edwards has charged THC with their first strike.
Lobo: Well, that didn’t take long.
Sir Oliver: I do admire their restraint in waiting this long before the first strike appears.
V: Like, it hasn’t even been 2 minutes.
Sir Oliver: I highly anticipated one team or another to take a cheap shot at the other during the instructions.
Lobo: To be honest, so was I.
V: Like, I’m surprised that Rated M even allowed THC to get to the ring.
Lobo: Kid Diaz collapses to his knees. Carson with the tag to Annie who comes into the ring and hauls Kid Diaz to his feet. Annie clamps on a side headlock and charges to the center of the ring, taking Kid Diaz down with a bulldog.
Sir Oliver: THC is most aggressive in its level of violence., Rated M may be in danger of losing their titles.
V: Like, it’s early and I don’t believe that The Black Hand will allow these titles to go to THC without a struggle.
Lobo: Well, they’re certainly struggling, that’s for sure. Annie starts to stomp on Kid Diaz with a good old fashioned curb stomping.
Sir Oliver: I do believe that THC has made a promise to, and I quote here, “stomp a mudhole in their ass and then walk it dry”.
V: Like, they kiss their mother with that mouth?
Sir Oliver: I will avoid the reference to the irony here.
Lobo: Kid Diaz rolls out of the ring to get away from Annie. Annie chases him to the ropes and then starts hurling insults at him. Kid Diaz gets to his feet and moves away from the ring. Annie leaps through the ropes with a stage dive. Kid Diaz catches her and slams her hard against the top of the guardrail.
V: Like, oops.
Lobo: Kid Diaz hauls Annie up and rolls her into the ring. Kid Diaz climbs into the ring and Annie is there to greet him with a hard right hand to the jaw. Kid Diaz reaches back and makes a tag to Miller. Miller comes into the ring and snaps a kick at Annie. Annie moves but still catches a part of that kick in her side causing her to stumble.
V: Miller looks to be taking some revenge for what Annie did to Diaz.
Lobo: Miller grabs Annie’s arm and whips her hard into the Rated M corner. Annie crashes hard. Diaz grabs the tag rope and starts to choke Annie out.
Sir Oliver: Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander?
V: Like, what?
Lobo: What goes around, comes around.
V: Oh, well why didn’t he just say so?
Sir Oliver: I believe I did, say wot.
Lobo: Edwards is counting Rated M.
Edwards: 1…2…3…4…Fi…
*Anderson: Referee Edwards has awarded a strike to Rated M.
Lobo: Well, they certainly evened things up. It’s one strike apiece.
V: Like, they did more to earn their strike.
Lobo: Rated M kept Annie choking just a few tics longer.
V: Like, they have better timing.
Lobo: Annie Castle is on her knees, gasping for breath. Miller kicks her in the chest and sends her flopping into the ring post. Miller starts kicking Annie who manages to grab his leg and twists it, sending Miller falling to his side. Miller grabs the ropes to keep from falling to the mat. Annie scoots herself out of the ring and starts to walk it off.
Sir Oliver: Miller tags Kid Diaz back in. Kid Diaz is in the ring and he goes to the ropes, taunting Annie Castle. Annie charges the ring apron, grabs Diaz by the ankle and yanks him down to the floor. Annie and Kid Diaz start trading blows on the floor.
Edwards: 1…2…3…4…
Lobo: Diaz has Annie Castle and smashes her face into the apron. Annie responds with a back fist to Diaz that strikes a bit low.
V: A bit low?? You mean she tagged him in the package.
Lobo: Regardless, Kid Diaz staggers back and Annie climbs back into the ring. Annie stumbles over and tags Carson back in as Kid Diaz climbs into the ring.
*Anderson: THC has been awarded their second strike for the low blow.
Lobo: One more strike and it’s all over for THC.
Sir Oliver: I say, I can’t imagine THC walking the straight and narrow.
Lobo: They’d better learn or they’re going to lose their shot at the title. However, Carson seems to be a bit more centered than Annie, so he may be able to keep it under control.
V: Like, boo. Bring Annie back in. I love the mayhem.
Lobo: Miller and Carson lock up. Miller takes Carson down with a leg dive and grapevines the leg. Carson shoves Miller off into the ropes. Miller comes off with a shoulder block that sends Carson back to the mat. Miller hauls Carson up and slams him hard with a body slam. Miller goes for the cover.
Edwards: 1…kickout.
Lobo: Miller hauls Carson back to his feet and whips him hard into the ropes. Kid Diaz puts a knee up between the second and top ropes that catches Carson in the small of the back.
*Anderson: Referee Edwards has given Rated M their second strike.
Lobo: Now both teams are in peril of losing this match on a DQ.
Sir Oliver: It may be advantageous for Rated M to get DQ’s as they may lose the match but will maintain their hold on the belts.
V: Maybe, but nobody wants to lose.
Lobo: Miller hauls Carson up to his feet and…backbreaker! Miller with the cover.
Edwards: 1…2…shoulder up.
Lobo: Miller pounds the mat and gets back to his feet. He hauls Carson up to his feet. Carson surprises him with a kick to the midsection and a stunner.
Edwards: 1…2…kickout.
Lobo: That came out of nowhere.
V: Like, they’re rattlesnakes! They can strike any time.
Lobo: I’m sure that Rated M isn’t taking them lightly.
V: Not now!
Lobo: Both men are back on their feet. Carson steps back and tags Annie back into the ring. Annie Castle goes to the top rope and comes off with a missile dropkick that catches Miller on the point of his chin, sending him crashing to the mat.
Sir Oliver: My word! Did you see the height that young lady got on that dropkick?
Lobo: She sure knows how to fly.
V: Like, look there, in the audience. In the front row. Isn’t that Moe from Jack’s Place?
Sir Oliver: Quite. It seems that young mister Moe has quite the affinity for Annie Castle.
V: Is that anything like saying that he has the hots for her?
Sir Oliver: Indubitably.
V: Is that yes or no?
Sir Oliver: It is quite apparent of Moe’s feelings for young miss Castle.
V: Uh, right. OK.
Lobo: Annie Castle hauls Miller up to his feet. Miller surprises Annie with a DDT.
Edwards: 1…shoulder up.
Lobo: Miller is up, he grabs Annie and slings her over his shoulder. Miller goes to the top rope and…THE TRUE MEANING OF FEAR!
Sir Oliver: I think that Miller is trying to send a message here.
V: Look at Moe! He’s screaming.
Lobo: Miller nails it.
Edwards: 1…2…3!
(BELL RINGS)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners and STILL UPW TAG CHAMPIONS…RATED M!
Lobo: Miller and Diaz grab their belts and head to the back as Carson is in the ring checking on Annie. Annie gets to her feet and heads to the back, leaning on Carson. What a match!
Sir Oliver: Quite.
V: Like, I don’t think this is over between these two groups.
DIRTY SANTA MATCH
Lobo: Here we go, Guys – the Dirty Santa competition. There’s prizes galore, although you can bet some of those ‘prizes’ won’t be as good as others. And then there’s the horse treading that follows; so getting eliminated first, well, that has its downside for sure, but with this, you’re never truly out of contention.
Sir Oliver: Dirty santa? That sounds questionable at best and I do confess that I have never heard of such a thing. Mayhap this is some quirk of the New World.
V: Ugh! Where have you been in like, forever? A cave?
Lobo: It’s like I said, Sir Ollie you -
Sir Oliver: That’s SIR OLIVER, if you please!
Lobo: Yeah, sure – anyway, it’s like I said: get eliminated, get a prize, but as you can trade, whoever is out last gets the best pick – in theory. So here we are with TEN competitors and ...Oh wait – I just got word that there will only be ONE prize, shared between Maddox and Candy and ONE prize shared between DeHaven and Nathaniel.
Sir Oliver: Well, that does make a sort of sense given that both do tag together and are used to such co-operation and the others lack said advantage.
Lobo: This will be decided by an Over The Top Rope elimination process. So, as I said – 10 competitors and they are -
- Bryan Black!
- Cage!
- Candy!
- David Berg!
- Dillian DeHaven!
- Isabella von Krauss!
- Jack Ruby!
- Jester LeBeau!
- Maddox!
- Nathaniel!
They are all ready and eager to get on with this.
V: So! Start for fuck’s sake!
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: With the bell comes mayhem. That’s not a big ring for TEN athletes and there’s as much pushing and shoving as there is actual wrestling.
Sir Oliver: More, far more.
Lobo: Cage scoops Candy up and whips her around to fire her over the – NO! She catches the ropes and lands on the apron. Cage looks on in disbelief.
V: At least until Maddox flattened him with that Senton Bomb.
Lobo: Bryan Black fires a sharp elbow into the side of Nathaniel’s face and then gets chopped at the knees by Dehaven. He stands, looking pleased with himself as Black tumbles to the mat to get stomped on by Von Krauss.
Sir Oliver: Alas his satisfaction is short-lived. Mr Berg puts paid to that with a devastating Swinging Neck Breaker. By Jove! That was rather splendidly executed, wouldn’t you say, Old Chap?
Lobo: It was, but it didn’t impress LeBeau. He fires a boot into Berg’s ribs, but then suffers an Implant DDT – courtesy of Jack Ruby.
Sir Oliver: It’s really rather incredible how he can be so skillful with just the one good hand.
V: Skilful? He just like, totally blindsided him! So, uh, yeah, it was pretty cool.
Lobo: Candy is back in and leaps off the top rope to crash into Nathaniel with a monstrous Missile Drop Kick!
Sir Oliver: By George! That certainly animated the spectators. Just listen to the brouhaha!
V: He’s like, totally making these words up, isn’t he?
Lobo: DeHaven is back up. He whips a back hand chop that sends Von Krauss tumbling into the ropes. Cage grabs a leg and simply upends her, tipping her over the ropes, but she hangs on and like Candy, successfully lands on the apron. From there she launches a series of savage blows at Cage.
V: Gotta love that attitude. You go, Girl! Draw blood!
Lobo: Black with a simple, but effective Shoulder Barge, sends Berg crashing into a corner.
Sir Oliver: Maddox grabs hold of LeBeau’s wrist and delivers a decidedly brutal Short Arm Clothesline to the fellow.
Lobo: Ruby trips Black and then drops with a solid elbow to the back of the head! Now he pulls him back up and practically marches him to the ropes where – Double Clothesline! Berg takes both down!
V: Payback is a total bitch, right?
Lobo: Dehaven crushes Cage into the turnbuckle near Von Krauss. She’s not slow in taking advantage and straddles the ropes to fire in a whole series of smashes. Cage is really getting worked over now, as DeHaven repeatedly drives a knee up into the ribs.
V: Hey, this could totally be our first elimination.
Lobo: It could happen at any time. There’s just so much going on in that ring. Look! Candy and Nathaniel are exchanging blows.
Sir Oliver: Well, Mr Nathaniel is TRYING to, it seems that Miss Candy is a rather elusive quarry.
Lobo: Yeah, she’s tagging him twice for each one of his, but he sure hits hard when he hits.
Sir Oliver: And I also see that Mr Maddox and Mr LeBeau are locked up in the centre of the ring and – Oh my.
Lobo: Yeah, the three way struggle – well BRAWL – between Black, Berg and Ruby just crashed into them – all 5 hit the deck! And THERE! Look! Isabella Von Krauss snaps out a side kick; that catches DeHaven in the mouth. She then hops over the ropes to land ON Cage. She falls back and Monkey Flips him into the dog pile in the middle of the ring!
Sir Oliver: Goodness me!
Lobo: Now Nathaniel blocks a savage blow from Candy, gabs her by the hair and hurls her at that heap of bodies, but she dives and rolls across them to land back on her feet to boot LeBeau in the shins. He falls and Maddox immediately slams down with a solid elbow strike.
V: Hey, this is like, way better than I expected; it’s total carnage in there.
Sir Oliver: If Pin attempts were admissible as a valid means of securing victory, I daresay that this would a be a decidedly different affair. As it is, well, I’m practically at a loss for words.
V: Great! This gets even better.
Lobo: Nathaniel charges across the mound, even as it starts to fall apart. He launches himself and crashes into Candy, who is knocked into Maddox. That frees up Jester, who seems to be chuckling at his own misfortune as he stands and – NO! Dillian DeHaven fires a knee into the side of Jester’s face and down he goes, but in falling he drags Nathaniel down too!
V: Ha! That’s fucking priceless. Even when DeHaven does something right it gets fucked up! #DeTotalLoserHaven.
Lobo: Berg flips up to his feet and then jumps and spins to deliver a devastating spinning kick to Jack Ruby. It knocks Ruby all the way back to the ropes.
Sir Oliver: What a remarkable feat of athleticism. I tip my hat to the gentleman.
V: I thought you were lost for words?
Sir Oliver: A brief inconvenience, surmounted by the astounding action arrayed before me, I assure you.
V: Great. Just fucking peachy. He’s found more long words.
Lobo: And now Black takes on Berg! A huge haymaker followed by a brutal sledgehammer blow sends Berg crashing into the far turnbuckle. Black follows up. The Wall! No! Berg dropped and rolled aside leaving Black to crash into that turnbuckle!
Sir Oliver: My, but that was a close thing. Self-evidently, Mr Berg’s conditioning and match readiness is telling.
Lobo: And now Krauss is in there. She leaps into drive an elbow down into the top of Black’s shoulder. Her knee slams into his kidneys. He arches back in pain and she hip tosses him over! Now she hops up onto the ropes. She’s gesturing to this manic crowd that she’s going for a big move here.
V: Is she like, totally nuts?
Sir Oliver: It would seem that the stability of her mental state is a matter of some debate.
Lobo: And Cage! Cage powers up from the deck and leaps up to SHOVE Von Krauss – JUST before she could leap. She sails backwards and crashes down. That’s our FIRST ELIMINATION and the first prize goes to ISABELLA VON KRAUSS.
V: Wow. Like what a way to go.
Sir Oliver: The young lady certainly did not hold back. She played a High Risk game ad on this occasion it did not pay off, albeit I’m quite sure that she’s garnered more than a few fans by dint of that performance.
Lobo: Berg comes straight back. He knocks Cage sideways into the ropes. Cage rebounds, but Berg ducks and Cage rolls across his back and into Jack Ruby! Ruby greets him with a European Uppercut!
V: Like awesome! He practically took air then.
Lobo: Berg immediately switches target. He hauls Black up.
Sir Oliver: And gets a rather solid Back Fist to the jaw for his pains.
Lobo: Yeah, those two are really mixing it up now.
V: Hey, look! Jester LeBeau is back up. Again.
Sir Oliver: Yes, another individual with somewhat debatable sanity. Perchance he has taken one too many blows to the head.
V: In this match or like, ever?
Lobo: Jester rams an elbow back into Maddox’s ribs and then spins around to headbutt him. Oh! But Candy clobbers him with a Bellringer and then grabs the back of his head to smash his face into the turnbuckle.
Sir Oliver: Well, that young lady certainly does NOT play nicely with others. And, as for Mr LeBeau, I fear that’s another substantial blow to the head.
V: Like he’ll notice?
Lobo: Nathaniel with a Big Boot blasts Candy back into the ropes! Out she comes and he grabs her – Suplex!
Sir Oliver: Clearly, Old Boy, Mr Nathaniel feels it is now imperative that he makes his presence felt.
Lobo: For sure, but see! Berg has Black up against the ropes with an elbow up under his chin. He’s pushing and pushing hard. No! Black garbs that arms and whips the arm around into a backhammer!
Sir Oliver: By Jove! What a remarkable piece of escapology!
Lobo: Black pushes Berg around and has him up against the ropes. What a reversal. Now he quickly transitions to scoop Berg across his shoulders! He spins and DUMPS Berg OVER the ropes! Down he – NO! Berg grabs the ropes, pulls himself in to then grab Black by the head! Bryan has his back to the ropes and is being peeled backwards. And in comes DeHaven! He grabs Black’s left leg, lefts and FLIPS him up. Berg does the rest! Bryan Black SOMERSAULTS out of the ring and Berg swings back in to chop DeHaven off at the knees!
Sir Oliver: Well! I say! Now that was hardly cricket, was it Old Chap?
V: Hey, you snooze, you lose.
Lobo: And that’s our SECOND ELIMINATION. BRYAN BLACK is gone – to collect his prize.
Sir Oliver: How shocking. Mr Black should console himself with the fact that it took TWO of them to enforce his elimination.
Lobo: As Berg and DeHaven mix it up, I can see that Candy has just taken Jester to the mat with Leg Scissors and Nathaniel – oh, he reverses out of that Arm Bar from Maddox then spins around to fire a savage Chop at his throat.
Sir Oliver: Indeed and Messrs Ruby and Cage are having a heated exchange over to the left of the ring.
Lobo: DeHaven blocks an elbow strike and then hits back with a knee to the ribs. Taking a wrist he whips berg around and launches him into a corner!
V: Getting his shit together now.
Lobo: Candy clamps her legs around jester’s head!
V: Yeah and like, not in a nice way. If he doesn’t get out of that PDQ, he’s like totally toast.
Lobo: Maddox is reeling, struggling for breath. Nathaniel senses blood and charges forward to – OOH! Sidewalk Slam from Maddox. That puts Nathaniel down! Maddox with a stamp to the – NO! Nathaniel rolls aside and that foot just impacts the mat.
Lobo: Ruby hits with the Claw! He has Cage in trouble here. No! Cage grabs the arm at wrist and elbow and spins to come up with a painful looking Armbar!
Sir Oliver: Yes, Old Bean, the gentleman has a wealth of experience and has answers to moves where others don’t even have moves.
Lobo: DeHaven has Berg trapped in that corner and is unleashing a barrage of smashes! He’s pounding away at Berg’s head to – OUCH! Berg with a Palm Strike, up under the chin. That stops Dillian in his tracks. Now Berg bends, grabs DeHaven by the legs and -
Sir Oliver: By George!
Lobo: He just SUPLEXED him out of the ring! Dillian was on top and pressing hard, but Berg pulled off an amazing piece of skill and upended him, dumping him OVER the ropes and out of the ring. That’s our THIRD ELIMINATION and DILLIAN DEHAVEN goes to claim his prize.
V: That’s like, you know, a total shame, coz Dilly was just getting on a roll and I figured he was sure to draw blood soon.
Lobo: Jester! His foot finds the ropes and the break is called. Candy breaks cleanly.
Sir Oliver: Quite so; that feisty young lady has no need of artifice to augment her undeniable skill set.
Lobo: Cage is steering Jack towards the ropes with that painful-looking Armbar.
Sir Oliver: yes, and Mr Ruby is not making that an easy matter. I opine that his capacity to endure pain is nigh Biblical in its proportions.
Lobo: Jester is up and immediately gets a whole load of Candy in his face!
Sir Oliver: My Word! That was a decidedly bestial headbutt was it not?
Lobo: Yeah, she sure rocked Jester’s world then.
V: Right, so like, why is still laughing?
Sir Oliver: That, Young Lady, can undoubtedly be attributed to his complete lack of sanity and is in no way to be construed as a diminution of the potency of Miss Candy’s attack.
V: Yeah, whatever.
Lobo: Now Jack stamps down – all down Cage’s shin. It’s enough to enable him to rip his arm free. Jack spins around and socks Cage with a Double Axe Handle blow.
Sir Oliver: That pair do appear to rather evenly matched, do they not, Old Boy?
Lobo: And Maddox catches Nathaniel with a stunning Enzugiri! Back into the ropes Nathaniel sails!
V: Hey, that like, almost drew blood. Almost. That Maddox is SUCH a disappointment – not like my Devy.
Sir Oliver: That no blood was spilled is testimony to Mr Nathaniel’s rhinoceros-like hide, rather than any indictment on Mr Maddox’s undoubted skill and power.
Lobo: Now Jester is calling Candy on. He wants MORE!
Sir Oliver: I can but shake my head and wonder at the bizarre thought processes that must meander, forever lost, in that strange man’s mind.
Lobo: Candy obliges. Snapped Side Kick! It propels him into a corner. She follows with a jumping knee lift. Jester covers up, but Candy is now attacking from ALL angles. He simply cannot protect all of him.
V: As if he cares!
Lobo: Cage responds to Ruby with a Spinning Clothesline!
Sir Oliver: Well, Mr Ruby certainly did NOT expect that. I can tell you.
Lobo: Now in comes Berg! He runs. He leaps! He crashes into the back of Candy and CRUSHES her into LeBeau, INTO the corner! Now he falls back and flips Candy out of the corner. But LeBeau bounces out to trample Berg. He races over to Candy, scoops her up over a shoulder and barrels to the far side of the ring!
Sir Oliver: I say! What a turn of events, Old Chap.
Lobo: Maddox! He shoots out and arm to TRIP Jester! He catches him. Jester stumbles, but somehow stays upright and dumps Candy over the ropes – falling into them himself.
Sir Oliver: And there goes the valiant Miss Candy. Most unfortunate. She was proving quite dominant until Mr Berg’s intervention, but alas, such is ever the way of things in fracas of this sort.
Lobo: The FOURTH ELIMINATION is CANDY!
V: Ha! Maddox getting all noble and trying to save her ass has cost him. See? Nathaniel is like totally kicking his ass now.
Sir Oliver: Mr Maddox undoubtedly felt it worth the price and see, even now he uses Mr Nathaniel's own force against him as he rolls towards the safety of the ropes with each kick delivered.
Lobo: Cage sets Ruby up – Thunderdome! He hits it! He hits his finisher and now heaves Ruby up – Fireman’s carry – across the shoulders. He spins around and steps back to deposit Ruby over the ropes! Ruby drops, hits the apron and SNATCHES at the bottom rope! How did he-? NO! His fingers JUST MISS and he falls.
Sir Oliver: By Jove! I cannot recall when last I viewed such prodigious toughness. Even that epic finisher could not keep Mr Ruby down for long.
Lobo: And there it is – that’s our FIFTH ELIMINATION! It’s – NO! Berg! Up fast. He grabs Cage’s legs and simply tips him backwards OVER the ropes!
V: Like – WOW.
Lobo: JACK RUBY has been ELIMINATED and so has CAGE! Two go in very quick succession.
Sir Oliver: And with startling alacrity we find ourselves with just 4 competitors. It truly is a testimony to how unpredictable events such as these truly are, Old Boy.
Lobo: So now we have Maddox taking on Nathaniel and LeBeau fighting Berg – whose had an impressive showing, it has to be said.
V: Nah, he’s just an opportunist. He’s like totally taken advantage of every situation that’s come his way. Hey, it’s what I’d do.
Sir Oliver: Why is it that I find that eminently easy to believe?
Lobo: Berg pulls Maddox into a Short Arm Clothesline. Down goes Maddox. Berg steps over him to – MONKEY FLIP! Maddox Monkey lips Berg across the ring! Berg crashes into LeBeau and Nathaniel. All three go down!
Sir Oliver: It seems that even with a mere four competitors it is still possible to ensure that complete chaos reigns in the ring.
Lobo: Berg, LeBeau and Nathaniel all stand and ALL start trading heavy blows! There’s nothing technical about this. No! Jester drives a side kick into Berg’s gut just as Nathaniel delivers a Heart Punch! Berg sails backwards -
V: Like he had a choice.
Lobo: Into Maddox! But Maddox rolls backwards and -
Sir Oliver: Odd’s Bodkins!
Lobo: That was incredible! The crowd are on their feet -stunned. Maddox Monkey Flipped Berg OUT OF THE RING! He caught it just right and used the power of his legs to launch Berg – perfectly – up and over the ropes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like that.
V: Devy could do it – like, totally.
Lobo: DAVID BERG has been ELIMINATED!
Sir Oliver: The seventh to go and he indisputably had a profound impact on events.
Lobo: But what’s this? Nathaniel is offering Jester some sort of deal. LeBeau is laughing.
V: Yeah? So, like what else is new?
Lobo: They both turn and barrel into Maddox!
Sir Oliver: A momentary truce has been achieved, it would seem, but such things are incredibly fragile, Old Bean.
Lobo: Maddox is fighting back – against BOTH and fighting hard, but the numbers are telling.
V: Yeah, they’re like, totally telling me that he’s getting his ass kicked.
Lobo: Nathaniel and Lebeau have Maddox up against the ropes now, but Maddox is STILL hammering away at both men. He’s just NOT letting them get that -
V: Damn!
Sir Oliver: That’ll do it most times, I’ll warrant.
Lobo: Low Blow from Jester. Maddox doubles. Nathaniel goes to lift him and – NO! Eye rake from Jester. Nathaniel reels way clutching his face as Jester gabs Maddox by the legs and upends him! Over the ropes he goes, but – WOW! Maddox is hanging UPSIDE DOWN. He’s clinging to the top rope and is NOT letting go.
V: He is now.
Sir Oliver: A knee to the kidneys is remarkably efficacious in redirecting one’s thought processes, I generally find. Wouldn’t you agree, Old Chap?
Lobo: It was enough – JUST enough. Maddox tumbles down outside and slips off the apron. MADDOX has been ELIMINATED! Jester is smirking and – NO! Nathaniel! Strike back in with a Flying Clothesline!
V: Shit! He damn near took his fucking head off then! Awesome.
Lobo: Over! Jester is knocked over the ropes in exactly the same spot that he just eliminated Maddox! What a finish.
Sir Oliver: Truly bizarre.
Lobo: JESTER LEBEAU has been ELIMINATED and NATHANIEL WINS the Dirty Santa final prize!
V: You know, that was kinda fun. Maybe next time they can do it with weapons – sharp ones, so there’s like shitloads of blood.
Sir Oliver: I confess, I do worry about you Miss Wu. I do indeed.
Lobo: Our thanks to ALL our competitors. I just hope that they enjoy their prizes.
BOYD GAMING HIGH ROLLER CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Jumbo Robinson vs. "The Prince of Perfection" Joe Nobody
Sir Oliver: Our next match is the BOYD GAMING HIGH ROLLER CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH.
Lobo: Elijah Alexander will spin the wheel and our competitors, Jumbo Robinson and Joe Nobody will then wrestle the match on where the wheel falls.
V: Jumbo Robinson? Didn’t he like already like wrestle today? Luckily he is facing a Nobody. AMIRIGHT?
Sir Oliver: The possible matches on the wheel are as follows:
- Last Man Standing
- Bull Rope: Both tethered at the wrist.
- Put Your Opponent On a Leash
- Sky High Roller Scaffold
- Dog Collar
- Sumo (but on a boat/large floating piece of wood) (win via throwing opponent into water)
- First Blood
- Tables Ladders And Chairs
Lobo: The matches are dangerous for sure. Elijah Anderson is standing by the wheel. Let’s see what it brings us.
V: Whatever.
Sir Oliver: This is so exciting.
Lobo: Anderson spins the wheel. It is spinning fast, slowing down, slowing down.
Sir Oliver: The crowd is frantic.
V: Please please please let it be First Blood.
Sir Oliver: It is slowing down, it is on Tables and Chairs, no…it moves.
Lobo: Last Man Standing.
V: Still may get some like Blood!
Lobo: The rules of this match are quite simple. Take your opponent down to where they cannot get back to their feet before the referee counts to 10.
Sir Oliver: Simple rules but difficult to achieve with these two tough competitors.
*Anderson: Our next match will be a LAST MAN STANDING MATCH for the High Roller Championship.
Lobo: But remember Jumbo already had a match with his brother Jett against Wicked. It was a weapons match and there is no way Jumbo is 100%
Sir Oliver: But he is a pugilist and he will not back down.
V: Pugiwhat? Like what?
Lobo: The winner of the belt will have to defend this title on every future card so this is for a fighting future champion.
V: Let’s get on with it!
*Anderson: He hails from Detroit, Michigan... weighing in at one hundred and ninety-five pounds and standing at six foot, one inch tall... he is The Prince of Perfection... JOE NOBODY!!!
("Sick of Me" by Beartooth begins to play. The camera zooms into Nobody's face who smirks and adjusts his tie before making his way to the ring. As makes it up two steps and stops before turning around to give a young fan his signature fedora.)
Sir Oliver: He is certainly a stoic man.
V: He is a nobody. Get it…like get it?
*Anderson: Coming down the aisle, he is one half of the Robinson Family, here is... JUMBO ROBINSON!!!
""If you're ready for this... (say you're ready for this!!!)?""
""If you're ready for this... (say you're ready for this!!!)?""
[Jumbo Robinson enters to cheers. The bigger member of the Robinson Family tag team is the splitting image of their patriarch, Jab Robinson, in all but one way... he's an even BIGGER behemoth of a man. Jumbo does a little dance for the crowd, but without his brother Jett to dance with him, he's a bit shy.]
""THAT'S THE JOINT""
[His brother Junior comes out behind him in a wheelchair. Jumbo picks his brother up and puts him on his shoulder, while pushing the wheelchair down to the ring. His brother doesn't look pleased. ]"
*Anderson: Your referee is Alexander Xavier Edwards.
Lobo: Jumbo is about the same height as Nobody but he is a much bigger man.
Sir Oliver: And he shows it right away. Oh my.
V: YES!
Lobo: Nobody tries to evade Jumbo but Robinson is quick and quicker than Nobody anticipated. Jumbo grabs Nobody and scoops him up with a body slam. He drops and elbow and another. Jumbo with the Robinson Special #1!
Sir Oliver: Oh my word! This match may already be over.
Lobo: Jumbo already had a match tonight and he’s trying to get this one over quickly.
Edwards: 1… 2…
Lobo: And Joe Nobody gets a foot on the rope! Great ring awareness there. Jumbo is getting back up and looks a little frustrated that the tactic didn’t work. He pulls Joe up and sends him into the turnbuckle.
V: Jumbo just hit like a nasty clothesline. This Prince of Perfection kinda like sucks.
Sir Oliver: It is so early to say that but Jumbo is impressive considering he is not 100%.
Lobo: Jumbo picks up the stunned Nobody and dances a bit and starts nailing him with jabs.
Sir Oliver: The old family recipe it seems?
Lobo: Jumbo is quick and Nobody cannot quite time them right. Jumbo nails Nobody and his right eye is bleeding.
V: Blood!! YES!!
Lobo: Jumbo goes for a haymaker but Nobody ducks and chops Jumbo in the throat, Nobody bounces off the ropes and hits a flying forearm smash as Jumbo is rocked. Nobody with a dropkick that sends Jumbo into the turnbuckle. Nobody flies at him but Jumbo catches him and connects with a Belly to Belly Suplex. Nobody is slowly getting up, Jumbo gets momentum, he bounces off the ropes and nails Nobody with a vicious spear.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Nobody is hurt and down.
V: Nobody like still sucks. Like wasn’t Jumbo already in a match?
Sir Oliver: Jumbo is breathing heavily but Nobody is not moving.
Lobo: Edwards with the count.
Edwards: 1…2…3..4…..5….6
Lobo: Nobody looks up at the ref and slowly stands up. He wipes the blood from under his eye and did he just wink at Jumbo?
Sir Oliver: I believe he did!
V: What the hell?!?!
Lobo: Jumbo is livid and he rushes Nobody with a series of strikes but Nobody fights back and we have a brawl.
V: YES!!
Lobo: Nobody stuns Jumbo with a kick to the gut, followed by a dropkick and Jumbo flies outside the ring.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Nobody is going to the top turnbuckle.
Lobo: Nobody hits a double sledgehammer on Jumbo. Nobody with a Russian Leg Sweep. Jumbo is down.
V: Whatever, Nobody still sucks.
Lobo: Nobody picks up Jumbo and rolls him into the ring. As Jumbo is slowly getting up, Nobody hits a Running Neckbreaker Drop. Jumbo is down.
Sir Oliver: Jumbo Robinson is down and not moving.
Edwards: 1….2…..3….4….5….6….7
Lobo: Jumbo stirs and gets up but Nobody attacks right away with a series of punches to the head. Nobody grabs the larger Jumbo and hits a Full Nelson Slam.
Sir Oliver: Impressive strength from Mr. Nobody.
V: OK like maybe he doesn’t suck that much?
Lobo: Nobody picks up the stunned Jumbo and goes for another Full Nelson Slam but Jumbo blocks it. Back elbow, headbutt. Nobody is down.
Sir Oliver: Blood is dripping from Mr. Nobody.
Lobo: Jumbo with a splash. It connects.
V: Nobody like sucks again.
Lobo: Jumbo points to the crowd. He picks up Nobody and unleashes a bevy of jabs.
Sir Oliver: This looks like the Robinson special.
Lobo: jab, jab, jab., jab, punch to the gut and POWERBOMB.
Sir Oliver: The bloodied Mr. Nobody hits hard.
V: Look at Jumbo, he is exhausted.
Lobo: Jumbo Robinson breathes heavily in his corner as Edwards begins the count
Edwards: 1..2….3….4…5….6…7…8
Lobo: This could be it.
Sir Oliver: This is a prestigious belt, while the holder has to defend it at every card, they at any time may turn it in with two weeks notice to face the UP Wrestling World Openweight Champion.
V: Nobody is up again?!
Lobo: A bloodied Joe Nobody stands up, smirks and tells Jumbo to come get him.
Sir Oliver: This Joe Nobody has no quit in him.
Lobo: Jumbo is moving visibly slower as Nobody connects with a Flying Side Kick. Nobody has Jumbo in the corner and unleashes knees and forearm smashes.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Nobody’s cardio may be the difference here.
Lobo: Nobody with a bulldog. as Jumbo slowly gets up Nobody connects with a super kick and Jumbo is down. Nobody won’t let Alexander count. He picks up Robinson and hits the DENIAL OF PERFECTION (running STO). Jumbo is down as the crowd cheers loudly.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Nobody is a cardio machine and Jumbo Robinson is down and out.
V: Like Nobody is bleeding and he just put down a much bigger man. Guess he doesn’t suck at all?
Edwards: 1..2….3….4…5….6…7…8……9….TE…
Lobo: Jumbo Robinson is up and he stares at Nobody who is incredulous.
V: Incredwhat?
Sir Oliver: Mr. Robinson is not done yet it seems?
Lobo: Both men now come to attack but Nobody is quicker and he chops Jumbo down with a series of kicks to the thigh as Jumbo goes down to one knee he headbutts Nobody in the stomach and connects with an uppercut. Nobody is down. Jumbo gets up and lumbers toward him but from a lying position, Nobody kicks him in the knee and hits a DDT.
Sir Oliver: This is a street fight.
V: This is great.
Lobo: Jumbo picks up Nobody and goes for a headbutt but Nobody blocks it. Nobody with a chop to the head but Jumbo blocks it. Jumbo with a double ear slap, headbutt, Belly to Belly Suplex.
Sir Oliver: Nobody is down.
V: What is he doing?
Lobo: Jumbo goes to the top rope. He is looking for a splash. But Nobody is up. He runs up the turnbuckles.
Sir Oliver: The man’s stamina is unreal.
V: You know all about men and stamina, eh tea and crumpets like yeah.
Sir Oliver: Pardon me!?!
Lobo: Nobody has the much larger Jumbo Brown in a suplex position. They are both on the top rope. SUPERPLEX…..both men hit very hard and they are out.
Sir Oliver: The referee is counting…
Edwards: 1..2….3….4…5….6…7…8……9….
Lobo: Nobody grabs the ropes and pulls himself up.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Brown is still down.
Edwards: TEN
V: Wow the bloody guy like, won.
Lobo: He did it.
Sir Oliver: Joe Nobody hears cheers from the crowd. He is the new Champion.
*Anderson: Your winner and the NEW BOYD GAMING HIGH ROLLER CHAMPION… “The Prince of Perfection” Joe Nobody!!!!
Lobo: What an effort by Joe Nobody. Jumbo tried time and time again to end this match, but our new champion prevailed.
Sir Oliver: And the former is trying to get back to his feet as Mr. Nobody celebrates his grand victory.
V: Joe is going to have to defend that title every show or like, will he turn it in for a shot at my Devy? What if he turns it in tonight?
Lobo: Anything can happen here in UP Wrestling. Look at Jumbo for example. He’s got his hand out. Joe shakes it. What a clash act by Jumbo Robinson.
V: Sportsmanship is for losers.
MAIN EVENT - WORLD OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
"The Apex" Devin Bishop vs. "The Vengeful One" CJ Walker
Sir Oliver: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for our main event, the World Openweight Title match, and a match that has quite some history tied to it. For nearly a year, these two have been intertwined.
V: And tonight Devy gets to, like, end CJ for good!
Lobo: You might feel that way V, but it’s no guarantee.
V: With Devy, I always guarantee for him to end up on top!
Sir Oliver: My word…
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, this final match of the evening is scheduled for one fall and is for the UP Wrestling World Openweight Title! Introducing first, the challenger… From Butcher's Hollow in The Ozarks of Arkansas. He stands 6'7 and One Half inches tall. Weighing in at 277 pounds. The Vengeful One, CJ Walker!"
("Valhalla Calling Me" by Miracle Of Sound (Metal Version) begins to play as Walker is seen standing at an entry tunnel in the arena where the fans enter and exit. He is dressed in jeans, black boots, and his "Come Hell Or Valhalla" sleeveless shirt. The fans reach out to touch their hero as he begins to descend the steps down towards the ring side area. Pushing his way through the sea of fans towards the barricade he hops the barricade with a hand carved mahogany club in his hand, the club is adorned with Norse runes and a snarling wolf. Walker takes his time to circle around the ring. His eyes scanning the crowd and whoever is in the ring. He climbs up slowly onto the apron, stopping there to look back at the crowd then turns his focus into the ring. He steps between the ropes with the club in his taped fist, ready to crack skulls and brutalize his opponent.)
Lobo: Walker definitely looks ready for the match tonight.
V: Like, it won’t matter. Now shut up, here comes our champion!
*Anderson: And his opponent… Coming to the ring from Reno, Nevada... he stands at six foot one inch tall and weighs in at two hundred and twenty-eight pounds... he is...the UPW Openweight Champion...he is….The Apex…he is...Devin Bishop!
(As "Nucleus" by Robert Slump begins to play over the P.A. system, the arena goes dark. Red and purple light beams begin to flash up and down the walkway as smoke covers the area in front of the curtains. Bishop steps out and a spotlight shines on Bishop, creating a silhouette of Bishop. As the synth intro ends and the guitar and drums begin, Bishop slowly raises the Openweight Championship belt above his head in one hand. As the main verse begins, a spotlight hits Bishop, who is facing away from the crowd. He turns quickly and extends both arms before beginning a long cocky walk to the ring steps.He then begins a slow, cocky walk to the ringside area. He walks up the ring steps onto the ring apron, where he makes a show of wiping his boots on the mat before stepping into the ring. He removes his entrance gear and hands it to the ring attendant. He lays the Openweight Championship belt on the mat in front of him and steps over it, using both hands to beckon his opponent to the center of the ring.)
V: Oooh yeah!
Sir Oliver: The champion definitely looks ready, even if he is giving up a bit of size and weight.
(BELL RINGS)
Lobo: Well, there’s the bell and both men look absolutely ready, CJ Walker looks ready to tear right into Bishop, and they go to lock up, but Bishop with a go behind. He has a waistlock on the big man and he tries to trip him up, but Walker is able to keep his balance. Walker with a back elbow but Bishop ducks it, releasing the waist lock and now he backs into the corner.
Sir Oliver: Looks like Mr. Bishop might have felt that elbow was a little too close for comfort.
V: It’s an absolute shame Walker would think to try and hurt Devy’s face.
Sir Oliver: Walker seems to be calling Bishop back to the middle of the ring, and Bishop seems to oblige, patiently walking to the middle of the ring to meet him. They lock up again and Bishop with a top wristlock, into a hammerlock, and he floats it seamlessly into a headlock.
V: See, Devy is a technical genius.
Lobo: Devin Bishop has the headlock in, but CJ Walker is trying to power out of it into a standing hammerlock, but Bishop with a quick knee into the kidney to put the headlock back on. Bishop really cinched it in.
V: He is a specimen, my Devy.
Lobo: Right. But Walker throws him into the ropes with his strength and nails him with a shoulder block on the way back, knocking him backward and into the ropes. Bishop is able to stay vertical though, and he shakes out his shoulder from the blow he received.
Sir Oliver: Old Chap, Bishop seems to be rethinking his strategy because he recognizes his deficiency in size and strength.
V: Devy isn’t deficient, Oliver. He’s just not a walking tree like Walker is.
Sir Oliver: Quite. Bishop ducks under another grapple attempt by Walker with another go behind, and he kicks the leg out from under Walker and brings him down to a knee, and he locks in a standing armbar. Bishop even keeps a foot on the inside of the knee on the mat to add a bit more leverage while taking away Walker’s ability to stand with ease.
Lobo: Bishop is working the arm and then transitions into a rear chinlock, and he keeps the foot behind the knee, and then hits a forearm shot to the back of the shoulders, putting Walker on the mat. Bishop now scissors the legs together and drives an elbow between the shoulderblades.
V: He’s, like, a technical wizard.
Lobo: Bishop is going to have the edge with wrestling, and he’s still got the legs grapevine and locks in an armbar on the left arm, so he’s got three of Walker’s limbs tied up.
Sir Oliver: He’s really putting pressure on the arm, but Walker is able to get to the ropes and force the break. Bishop breaks it at three and gets to the middle of the ring. Walker gets to his feet and charges Bishop who sidesteps him into a drop toe-hold and goes right back to grapevining the legs, and again he’s trying to out wrestle Walker.
V: He’s showing he’s superior, Oliver. Like, get it right.
Lobo: Walker is now in the middle of the ring and he can’t reach the ropes, and Bishop moves up the grapevine and into an almost double arm hold, “Rings of Saturn” style. Walker is trapped and Edwards is checking for a submission, but Walker refuses to give it. Walker rolls onto his back and he’s got Bishop covered, one… but Bishop quickly switches the position back into the submission move.
V: Yes Devy, get him!
Lobo: Edwards is back to check for the submission, but Walker is able to get to a knee, and now another! He’s powering up to his feet and Bishop is holding on for dear life, and Walker just drops down in a modified Samoan drop, taking the air out of Bishop!
V: No!
Sir Oliver: Walker now brings Bishop up to his feet and lifts him into the air, bringing him crashing down to the mat with a vertical suplex. Walker gets to his feet and immediately begins to pull Bishop back to his feet, and scoops him up with a sidewalk slam that seemed to just reverberate through the ring.
V: The referee missed a blatant hair pull! Like, c’mon!
Lobo: There was no hair pull, V, just flat out strength from Walker.
V: Whatever! I saw it!
Lobo: Walker brings Bishop to his feet and whips him into the ropes and swings a right but misses the clothesline, and Bishop wraps himself around the arm and lands, bringing Walker down with a DDT! Bishop with a quick counter and he goes for a cover, one… two… but Walker kicks out.
V: A great counter by Devy!
Sir Oliver: Bishop drops a series of elbows on Walker, trying to keep the big man down and from getting to his feet, and then Bishop targets the leg again with a series of elbows before locking in a single leg crab. Old Chap, it seems like Bishop is finding a body part to target and to take a bit of Walker’s advantage away.
Lobo: Bishop is pulling back on the leg and he’s really got the hold cinched in, and Walker is trying to get to the ropes. He’s a little too far out of range though.
Sir Oliver: That he is.
V: Like I said, he’s a ring master.
Sir Oliver: Walker is trying to crawl to the ropes and is close, but Bishop leans back in the single leg, turning it into an STF! Now Walker is in even more dire straits.
Lobo: Walker is still trying to get to the ropes though, and he’s able to crawl, so Bishop breaks up the hold and he begins stomping on the back and leg of Walker. Walker is trying to get to his feet but Bishop clips the leg, bringing him down to a knee, and then drops him with a reverse DDT. Bishop hooks the leg, one… two… but Walker shoots the shoulder up.
V: C’mon Devy! Devy’s now putting the boots to that thick-headed idiot.
Sir Oliver: Some decorum, please.
V: Shove it.
Lobo: Devin Bishop goes to the middle rope and he’s waiting for Walker to get up, and he leaps, hitting a double axe handle that drops Walker to the mat. Bishop then places the leg he’s been working on across the ropes and leaps, dropping his body weight across the leg. Walker howls in pain and Bishop goes back to the middle rope and leaps, bringing an elbow right down across the leg.
Sir Oliver: Bishop is going to come dangerously close to possibly breaking Walker’s leg.
V: Well, it serves him right for thinking he can just challenge Devy’s championship.
Sir Oliver: He earned this title shot, young lady.
V: Like, whatever.
Sir Oliver: Walker is still down and Edwards is checking to see if he wants to submit, but Walker refuses, still trying to get to his feet. Bishop with a kick to the inside leg and climbs the turnbuckle again, this time going all the way to the top, and he leaps, but he gets caught!
V: No!
Lobo: Walker catches him in a bearhug and then tosses him up and over the top rope with a release belly-to-belly overhead suplex! Bishop lands hard on the outside and Walker is able to try and get a breather to shake off the abuse to his leg.
Sir Oliver: Bishop is certainly stunned as he gets to his feet and Walker is up to his feet and he’s calling Bishop back into the ring, but Bishop is taking his time. Edwards is counting him, and Bishop gets up onto the apron at the count of eight and Walker grabs him, looking to suplex him, but looks like his leg is giving him some problems.
Lobo: Bishop then drops Walker’s throat across the top rope, and Walker is stunned. Bishop comes into the ring and hooks Walker, he’s got the waistlock and he hits a German suplex, bridged into a cover, one… two… but Walker rolls to his left to get out of it. Bishop gets to his feet and moves on Walker, but Walker takes him down with a fireman’s carry! Bishop up to his feet and turns, and walks into a discus lariat from CJ Walker!
V: What, no! Devy, baby, you gotta duck that!
Sir Oliver: Walker with a cover, one… two… but Bishop kicks out. Walker didn’t hook the leg there and that could’ve cost him, Old Chap.
Lobo: Maybe. Walker is getting to his feet and he’s pulling Bishop up by the hair.
V: Which is illegal, by the way!
Lobo: Walker with a huge fist to the midsection that takes the air out of Bishop and he lifts him into the air, dropping him with a sitout powerbomb! A huge move and he hooks the legs, one… two… the… no! Bishop gets the shoulder up! Walker though seems to not mind his move was kicked out of and he whips Bishop hard into the turnbuckle. Walker looks to charge in, thinks differently because of his leg, and then just hits a bullrush lariat in the corner and Bishop.
Sir Oliver: Bishop is hurt and barely on his feet, and Walker lifts him up and places him on the top rope! Walker could be thinking of a superplex, and he locks Bishop in a front chancery, but Bishop kicks the bad leg of Walker, and Walker crashes to the mat, his leg still hung up on the middle rope.
V: Yeah Devy, finish him off!
Sir Oliver: Bishop is getting his footing and leaps, hitting a double stomp from the top rope right into the chest of Walker.
Lobo: What a move by Bishop, and he pulls Walker away from the ropes and hooks the legs, one… two… thre.. NO! Walker pushes Bishop off and rolls to his side.
V: What!? How did he kick out! Devy hit him right where he needed to! It’s over, Edwards can’t count for anything!
Sir Oliver: He is a perfectly able referee, Miss. It appears that Bishop just didn’t have enough to pin Walker.
V: Whatever.
Sir Oliver: Bishop himself seems to be taking up issue with the count and Walker is slowly getting to his feet and Bishop hooks him, looking for a DDT, but Walker picks him up and has him on his shoulders, and hits a death valley driver right into the turnbuckle! My word!
Lobo: Walker pulls Bishop out of the corner and drapes an arm over him, one… two… but Bishop gets his foot on the ropes to break up the count!
V: A genius! Devy is just… a… genius!
Lobo: Walker rolls off Bishop and is up to his feet, and he brings Bishop up with him. Walker whips him into the ropes and catches him with a huge spinebuster on the way back, and he hooks the leg, one… two… kickout by Bishop. Walker rolls up to his feet once again and he now is waiting for Bishop, almost like an executioner waiting for his victim.
V: Don’t be so morbid, Lobo.
Sir Oliver: Bishop stumbles into Walker, who drives him into the mat with a chokeslam! Another cover, one… two… kickout again by the champion!
Lobo: He’s showing his guts, I’ll give Bishop that.
V: He’s a real man, he won’t give up! Devy is the best!
Lobo: Walker just seems to not know what to throw at him next, and he gets to his feet while Bishop pulls himself up in the corner.
Sir Oliver: Those series of high impact moves from Walker have been taking their toll on the defending champion, and Walker slaps his bad leg a few times, probably getting the blood pumping, and he charges Bishop in the corner, looking for a big boot but Bishop moves! Walker’s boot goes over the top rope and Bishop clips the bad leg from the mat! Walker is hung upside down in a tree of woe!
Lobo: Bishop moves across the ring and gets a running start, hitting a diving European uppercut into Walker hanging upside down, bringing his forearm across the bridge of the nose. Bishop then gets to his feet and he grabs the bad leg, pulling it out from the corner, almost creating a wishbone submission!
V: Make a wish that your groin doesn’t snap there, Walker!
Sir Oliver: Edwards is telling Bishop to relinquish the hold, because Walker is still in the ropes, and Bishop gives it to the count of four before letting go. Walker tries to cover up, and Bishop now with a series of shots to the injured leg, and then snaps it across the middle rope.
Lobo: Meanwhile, Edwards has gotten Walker’s other leg out from the corner and Walker is down as Bishop drags him away from the rope, and then hits a Knee-DT on the injured leg. Bishop gets up, and hits another one, and Walker is howling in pain.
V: If he can’t walk, he can’t do anything to my Devy.
Lobo: Bishop with a spinning toe hold on Walker, and then he drops it into a figure-four leglock! He has it locked in and right in the middle of the ring!
Sir Oliver: Walker is in severe pain after the beating his leg has taken, and now he has nowhere to go. Bishop is putting the pressure on the leg and he bridges backward into the hold even more, bridging onto his hands and bringing his body high into the air. Walker lets out a scream and he is beginning to fade. He’s not giving up, but his shoulders are down! One… two… but he gets the shoulder up.
Lobo: Bishop is rocking back and forth to put more of a grind on the leg and the shoulders are down again, one… two… but Walker gets the shoulder up again. Now Walker is pushing up on his hands, trying to bring some leverage his own way.
V: Like, just give up you big idiot!
Sir Oliver: Walker is up on his hands, and it’s causing Bishop to have to get out of the bridge, and Walker lets out a scream as he throws his right arm over his left side, and he’s reversed the hold! Now all the pressure is on Devin Bishop!
V: No! Devy get to the ropes, baby! C’mon!
Sir Oliver: Bishop is now the one in trouble and he’s scrambling to get to the ropes, unlocking his legs from Walker. Bishop gets to his feet and immediately goes back to kicking and laying boots to Walker on the mat. Edwards admonishes Bishop and Bishop backs up, giving Walker a chance to get to his feet. Walker is very, very gingerly, looking at his leg, and Bishop is like a shark that smells blood.
Lobo: Bishop grabs the bad leg and pulls it up into the air, and it looks like he’s thinking of a dragon leg screw or something, he’s just goading Walker, but Walker leaps and hits an enziguri! Walker hits the mat, and Bishop is stunned and almost out on his feet. Walker gets to his feet and hooks Bishop, swinging sidewalk slam! Walker with a cover, one… two… but Bishop kicks out! Walker immediately pulls up Bishop and hits a piledriver! Bishop got spiked!
Sir Oliver: And now Walker is going to the top, and he might be thinking high risk! He’s trying to keep some weight off the bad leg and he leaps, big moonsault off the top and it finds its mark! One! Two! Thre… NO! DEVIN BISHOP is now the one to kick out, but just barely.
V: Yes! But he kicked out!
Sir Oliver: Walker gives an exasperated look at the referee, and now he’s bringing Bishop up to his feet and he looks like he’s wanting to powerbomb him again!
V: No, please no!
Lobo: Walker brings him up into a powerbomb, and he looks to spike him but Bishop with a punch to the temple and he is able to slither down his back and he locks in a dragon sleeper! He’s got a dragon sleeper locked in and he snakes the legs, constricting his body around CJ Walker! Devin Bishop is showing some flexibility…
V: Yeah he is! Let’s go Devy baby!
Lobo: And Walker is trying to fight it off, but Bishop is just out of reach. Walker also is trying to stay standing on that bad leg, and he’s struggling.
Sir Oliver: Walker reaches for the top rope, but Bishop hooks the arm and goes back to the dragon sleeper. Walker is trying to pull himself into a standing position, and he does, and now he’s been able to get a bit of the pressure of the sleeper off his neck.
Lobo: And he’s got Bishop in position for a powerslam, and Walker goes charging across the ring, but Bishop slides down his back before Walker slams him, Walker comes to a halt, Bishop with a double knee to the spine, driving Walker into the corner.
V: Walker comes stumbling back and Devy hooks him, hitting a tiger suplex! Bridges on those strong legs of his!
Lobo: One… two… but Walker kicks out! Bishop up and he hits a knee shot to the side of Walker’s head and rolls him over, one… two… shoulder up! Bishop now runs the ropes and hits a spinning neckbreaker on Walker as he gets to a knee. One… two… no!
Sir Oliver: Tenacity by Walker as Bishop is throwing everything he can at him, and now Bishop locks him in a triangle choke! He’s got the triangle on and Walker is again trapped in a submission move! Walker though grabs Bishop and lifts him into the air, and throws him hard into the corner with a buckle bomb!
Lobo: Bishop’s back and head connected with the turnbuckle and he goes down, and Walker is unable to follow up, collapsing to the mat.
V: Devy! Get up! C’mon!
Lobo: Both men are down, and Edwards is beginning a ten count on both men. Bishop is definitely stunned from the move, but Walker is just trying to get up on a bad wheel.
V: LET’S GO DEVY!!
Sir Oliver: Edwards is to the count of five… six… seven… and Walker pulls himself up on the ropes to break the count. Bishop is stirring, but he’s definitely looking a little worse for wear. Walker brings Bishop up to his feet and he brings Bishop up to the turnbuckle, and it looks like Walker is thinking again about something high risk.
Lobo: This didn’t work out last time, but he’s determined. Walker knows he’s gonna need to go big for this. He’s got Bishop locked, and he’s going for a superplex off the top rope. Bishop is trying to fight it off, but his blows are glancing.
V: I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
Lobo: Walker picks up Bishop for the superplex, but his leg gives out! His leg gives out as he had Bishop up in the air, and he nearly dropped Bishop on his head, while getting crotched on the top rope! Bishop’s body bounced from the superplex, but both men are still hurt, and Walker is trying to get to his feet, but he landed rough on the metal of the turnbuckle.
V: Serves him right!
Sir Oliver: I disagree, but it was certainly unfortunate. Bishop is getting to his feet and Walker is still on the top rope, and Bishop climbs up to the second rope, and he hits a sitout reverse DDT off the top! Walker landed hard, Bishop as well, but Bishop hooks the leg, one… two… the…
Lobo: NO!
Sir Oliver: Walker kicked out!
V: HOW?!
Sir Oliver: Walker kicked out and Bishop is in shock, but he’s trying to get up to his feet quickly, pulling Walker up.
Lobo: But Walker seemed ready for him and lifts him high into the air with an almost chokeslam style spinebuster! Bishop barely stayed in his boots when he hit the mat! Walker hooks the leg, he’s got him! One… two… thre… NO!
V: YES! YES! YES!
Sir Oliver: Bishop just barely kicked out, and both men are still down on the mat. Walker is breathing heavy and is trying again to get to his feet, and he gets to his feet, urged on by the crowd, and Bishop is almost looking like dead weight, but he’s getting up too. Walker with a wild swing of the right hand, which rocks Bishop. Bishop with a series of chops in return.
Lobo: These two men are trading chops and forearms, and both men just collapse into each other, basically holding each other up. Both men look exhausted and Bishop hits a series of hard, stiff, European uppercuts to Walker. Walker responds with a headbutt, dropping Bishop to a knee, but Walker is still nearly out on his feet.
Sir Oliver: I cannot believe what I’m seeing.
V: I can’t believe Walker has been stupid enough to keep trying to take a beating, really.
Lobo: Bishop leaps up and he hits a Flatliner! That caught Walker out of nowhere, and now he’s rolling to Walker’s legs, and he’s got them linked! He could be thinking of the “Bishop’s Gambit!”
V: Yes baby!
Lobo: He’s grapevine the legs, and he’s struggling to turn him! Walker is trying to fight it, but he’s taken a lot of abuse to that leg.
Sir Oliver: And Bishop is turning him finally, he’s got it locked in, and CJ Walker hits him square in the chest with the Heart Punch! Walker strikes him straight on with that shot and Bishop crumples to the mat!
Lobo: Walker hooks the leg, one… two… THREE!!!
V: NO! NO! NO!!
(BELL RINGS)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match… AND NEW UP WRESTLING OPENWEIGHT CHAMPION… CJ WALKER!!
Sir Oliver: CJ Walker has done it! He’s pinned Devin Bishop in the middle of the ring to win the World Title!
Lobo: This crowd is going nuts as Edwards presents him the title and Bishop is rolling out of the ring, and this crowd is on their feet. CJ Walker showed a lot of guts as he dealt with Bishop going after his leg all match.
Sir Oliver: And his timing on the Heart Punch was perfect, catching Bishop completely off guard.
V: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I don’t need to hear this! Devy was robbed… he was just… robbed. This can’t be happening!
Sir Oliver: CJ Walker now his title in his hands…
V: NOT his title!
Sir Oliver: And he lifts it high into the air victorious, soaking in the love from the crowd and… my word!
Lobo: It’s Jester LeBeau! Jester LeBeau has entered the ring and he cracks CJ Walker in the back of the head with a steel chair! Walker goes down and LeBeau continues assaulting him with a steel chair, and he drives the top of the chair right into his forehead, and CJ Walker is busted wide open.
Sir Oliver: LeBeau has been extremely on edge lately, and this must be a culmination of so many things, but right now, he’s leaving the ring, but he’s broken a steel chair across the new World Openweight Champion. He is smiling ear to ear and I can’t believe this is how this night ends for the new champion.
(Suddenly, “Keep Their Heads Ringing” by Doctor Dre hits and Kid Diaz comes sprinting down to the ring, pulling Anderson aside before sliding in.)
Sir Oliver: What is the meaning of this!?
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been informed that Kid Diaz has decided to use his Christmas Chaos prize at this moment. This is now a World Openweight Title Match!
Lobo: Listen, I get having an advantage, but this is a hell of one.
(BELL RINGS)
Sir Oliver: Mr. Diaz immediately goes for a cover, one… two… CJ Walker kicked out!
V: What?!
Lobo: Walker kicked out! Diaz looks absolutely shocked, and he picks Walker up and hits the “Crowd Control!”
V: He like, knocked over the referee though when he did it!
Sir Oliver: Poor Referee Edwards is down!
Lobo: Elijah is sliding in. He’s the back up ref.
Sir Oliver: Mr. Diaz picks CJ up and immediately hits a second Crowd Control! He’s not leaving anything to chance, Old Chap! He hooks the leg, one… two… three!
V: Like… what?
(BELL RINGS)
*Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and NEW UP WRESTLING World Openweight Champion… KID DIAZ!!
Sir Oliver: What an absolute miscarriage of justice for young Mr. Walker.
Lobo: Diaz is celebrating his win, and… wait a minute… It's Devin Bishop who hands Diaz the title! Diaz grabs the title and the two men are staring each other down!
Sir Oliver: You can cut the tension with a knife and Mr. Bishop now raises Mr. Diaz’s arm in victory! I cannot believe what we’ve seen here tonight, and the foundation of UP Wrestling has changed.
Lobo: And at least for now, we’re just gonna have to leave it there. We’re out of time!
(The camera focuses on Kid raising both his arm and the UP Wrestling Openweight Title up in victory as the show comes to a close.)