Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2021 2:07:15 GMT -5
The scene opens to a sound stage where CJ is set to record another promo because he's the best looking, hardest working, most talented mother fucker in UP Wrestling. The camera across to to where CJ is holding a paint brush and standing in front of a canvas. He dabs the brush in white paint and swipes it across white canvas. He takes a step back and as he does the camera zooms out slightly to reveal a little sign hanging above the canvas 'Kid Diaz Talking In Promos Be Like...'
A sound effect is set off and it's the traditional failure sound effect from many comedy movies and shows. CJ turns and with an exaggerated intense and focused expression stares at the canvas, the camera zooms out again and the former sign has been replaced by one that says 'Watching Kid Diaz Promos Be As Entertaining As...'
A laughing sound effect is heard as CJ pushes over the easel and canvas and stomps on it, he grabs the paint brush and throws it across the room before jumping up and down as if throwing a tantrum. A ticker runs across the bottom of the screen 'Kid Diaz Going Into Roid Rage Be Like...'
CJ then looks up slightly and a light bulb goes off above his head. He quicky moves across the set to where a big blown up mock Contract is against a set piece wall. CJ puts on a pair of tiny little reading glasses and pretends like he'd reading the contract, he then takes a step back and points to where it is labeled 'Rematch Clause'. CJ smacks his plans into his forehead and a Homer Simpson DOH!!! Sounds, the camera pans down to a little bit of fine print that reads 'Kid Diaz Not Knowing How Contracts Work Be Like...' and then the camera cuts over to Kid's lady promo where he says "Who says you get a title shot?"
The shot cuts back and CJ has his hand and arms forming the Will Smith Right Here meme over the Rematch Clause. He throws his hands up before rubbing his face with his palms I almost pure disbelief that the guy representing UP Wrestling doesn't know how the business side of wrestling works. He sighed heavily and motions for the camera to follow him. He moves over to a table where a pile of the oversized poster boards that fans make signs with are laying. He picks them up as he faces the camera and let's one be reveal then drops it to reveal the next one. Written on these poster boards is the following.
CJ's signs:
"Kid Diaz is as boring as watching paint dry."
"He's also pretty stupid if be doesn't know about rematch clauses."
"I had to give him visual aides and he still doesn't understand."
"I Just Buried Him With A Promo And I Didn't Have To Say A Word."
"Proof That I'm The Best Looking, Hardest Working, Most Talented Motherfucker In Wrestling."
He drops the last sign and looks at the camera, his expression an amused one as he breaks his silence.
CJ: "Kid, you're an opportunist for sure, but you clearly don't understand. I get a title shot because its in my contract. So Kid my guy, you can go ahead and get that championship all shined up and ready to hand it right back to me, oh and while on the subject of being handed things. No Kid, you didn't earn a fucking thing. You picked up the scraps because you can't do it the way everyone else has. You're not a champion, you're not entertaining anybody. When your matches are advertised as being next, the people watching at home take that time to go walk their dog or watch TikTok. The people in the arena hear your music and say to their buddies 'Ah I'm Gonna Go Take A Piss, This Guy Sucks!', So to put things in very simple terms that you can understand 'We Fight, I Win, I Champion.' it's that fucking simple. Now go flash your money and pop your champagne, fuck some of those silicon filled bimbos, and get on a penicillin regiment to get over whatever it is you're gonna catch from said bimbos. Oh, and one more thing. Call this a disclaimer for what I'm going to do next. I found the final resting place of your beloved Nana and Papa. And I just have to say that it's going to be a smashing good time."
The camera fades out as CJ stares into it with a smirk.
A sound effect is set off and it's the traditional failure sound effect from many comedy movies and shows. CJ turns and with an exaggerated intense and focused expression stares at the canvas, the camera zooms out again and the former sign has been replaced by one that says 'Watching Kid Diaz Promos Be As Entertaining As...'
A laughing sound effect is heard as CJ pushes over the easel and canvas and stomps on it, he grabs the paint brush and throws it across the room before jumping up and down as if throwing a tantrum. A ticker runs across the bottom of the screen 'Kid Diaz Going Into Roid Rage Be Like...'
CJ then looks up slightly and a light bulb goes off above his head. He quicky moves across the set to where a big blown up mock Contract is against a set piece wall. CJ puts on a pair of tiny little reading glasses and pretends like he'd reading the contract, he then takes a step back and points to where it is labeled 'Rematch Clause'. CJ smacks his plans into his forehead and a Homer Simpson DOH!!! Sounds, the camera pans down to a little bit of fine print that reads 'Kid Diaz Not Knowing How Contracts Work Be Like...' and then the camera cuts over to Kid's lady promo where he says "Who says you get a title shot?"
The shot cuts back and CJ has his hand and arms forming the Will Smith Right Here meme over the Rematch Clause. He throws his hands up before rubbing his face with his palms I almost pure disbelief that the guy representing UP Wrestling doesn't know how the business side of wrestling works. He sighed heavily and motions for the camera to follow him. He moves over to a table where a pile of the oversized poster boards that fans make signs with are laying. He picks them up as he faces the camera and let's one be reveal then drops it to reveal the next one. Written on these poster boards is the following.
CJ's signs:
"Kid Diaz is as boring as watching paint dry."
"He's also pretty stupid if be doesn't know about rematch clauses."
"I had to give him visual aides and he still doesn't understand."
"I Just Buried Him With A Promo And I Didn't Have To Say A Word."
"Proof That I'm The Best Looking, Hardest Working, Most Talented Motherfucker In Wrestling."
He drops the last sign and looks at the camera, his expression an amused one as he breaks his silence.
CJ: "Kid, you're an opportunist for sure, but you clearly don't understand. I get a title shot because its in my contract. So Kid my guy, you can go ahead and get that championship all shined up and ready to hand it right back to me, oh and while on the subject of being handed things. No Kid, you didn't earn a fucking thing. You picked up the scraps because you can't do it the way everyone else has. You're not a champion, you're not entertaining anybody. When your matches are advertised as being next, the people watching at home take that time to go walk their dog or watch TikTok. The people in the arena hear your music and say to their buddies 'Ah I'm Gonna Go Take A Piss, This Guy Sucks!', So to put things in very simple terms that you can understand 'We Fight, I Win, I Champion.' it's that fucking simple. Now go flash your money and pop your champagne, fuck some of those silicon filled bimbos, and get on a penicillin regiment to get over whatever it is you're gonna catch from said bimbos. Oh, and one more thing. Call this a disclaimer for what I'm going to do next. I found the final resting place of your beloved Nana and Papa. And I just have to say that it's going to be a smashing good time."
The camera fades out as CJ stares into it with a smirk.