NLW Ascendancy XXVIII | Saturday, January 8th, 2022 | LIVE
Dec 28, 2021 12:03:55 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Drag, and 2 more like this
Post by Kris on Dec 28, 2021 12:03:55 GMT -5
Next Level Wrestling Presents
ASCENDENCY XXVIII
LIVE from the Lakefront Arena in New Orleans, Louisiana
January 8th, 2022
We open and after a short pan around the crowd we are straight to Dan Simmons and Tommy West, the crowd's hot and we are live for another episode of NLW Ascendancy!
Dan Simmons: Happy New year everybody! I'm Dan Simmons and this is my broadcast partner, Tommy West and Tommy, Happy New Year my friend! What a show we've got to kick 2022 off!
Tommy West: Happy New Year Simmo, and you're damn right! NLW Heavyweight Title is on the line, Keahi Sparks goes up against the champion, Ricardo Goon!
Dan Simmons: And it's not just the Heavyweight title on the line, The tag champions, The End will be going up against The Tilted Cartridges!
Tommy West: Correct Simmo, I'll tell you now though I can't see past Fargo and Smith, they're just so dominant right now! But before all that we have some big names and big matches. Razor Blade, hot of his win over Big Dick Energy takes on Nathan Cage!
Dan Simmons: Making his debut tonight, the mysterious Jitterman! He takes on Al Jabroni. Also, Brad Swann is back in the XHF Network and here in NLW, he teams with The Goons and Nathan Parker to take on The New South, Adam Sanders and Felix...wait...partner we're heading backstage, I'm being told something's happening...
We cut to the office of BB Gunn where The Goons are stood with Darlene Price. Gunn is staring all three of them down.
BB Gunn: ....The hell are you three doing here? Dar, after what you pulled with The Academy I should have you tossed out the building.
David Goon: Relax, Gunn, she's here to fix your mess.
BB Gunn: Excuse me?
Gunn's phone starts to ring but he silences it. Dar gives him a wicked evil grin.
Darlene Price: You might wanna answer that.
BB Gunn: I don't answer blocked numbers.
Darlene Price: If you value your job you'll answer this one.
Gunn answers the phone we can't hear what the other voice is saying but the keen of ear will sware it has a southern accent.
BB Gunn: Y-yes sir... Best for business... yes.
He hangs up the phone.
David Goon: So now you know, fool. You done fucked up by have Ric down to do double duty, and as your normally silent investor just told ya, that damn well it ain't happening. So tonight? Dar's taking his place in the tag match.
Gunn stares them down again.
BB Gunn: ...fine. But on one condition...if any of the E.V.E. crew show up...I'll strip that title off Ric quicker than Dylan Black's arm get's popped off in a hardcore match.
Dar leans in close and looks him dead in the eye.
Darlene Price: Not if you value your life you won't. Todos sufrirán, todos arderán.
She laughs as the trio leaves and we cut back to the announce booth.
Tommy West: Well, it's a late substitute, but we still have our match!
Dan Simmons: That we do! Before that however we have our opening match, the returning Scott Hampton takes on debutant Willie Steen, let's head to the ring and get things started!
MATCH ONE
Willie Steen vs Scott Hampton
The amount of cocky disrespect between these two men as they wait for the bell to ring is so thick, it’s a wonder anyone in the arena can breathe…and once the match begins properly? It only gets worse, with Willie Steen condescendingly commenting to the crowd about how they should feel blessed to be in his presence while Scott Hampton makes a jerking off motion in response. Taking offense to this, The Hollywood Dream storms up to the (self-proclaimed) NLW’s Best Kept Secret, his mouth running all the more–but Hampton decks Steen in response, dropping him to the mat with a shot to the jaw! There’s a brief moments of cheers from the fans, but Scott has them booing again after he screams at them for not supporting him before and how he doesn’t want their support now. Satisfied, Hampton turns around… only to find himself eating a dropkick that sends him out of the ring, Steen popping back up and resuming the verbal abuse! Scott is quick to get to his feet, his jaw set as he glares up at Willie who is all smirks right up until Hampton snags Steen by the leg and hauls him out of the ring, the two men getting into an intense brawl on the outside!
The referee begins counting out both men as the Hollywood Dream gets the upper hand, sending Hampton into the ringpost before penalizing the Invincible for not going down by dropkicking his head into the unforgiving metal, an impromptu Surf’s Up dropping Hampton like a sack of potatoes! It’s at about the eight count that Steen rolls Hampton into the ring and goes for the first pinfall of the match, Scott kicking out at two. Willie gets to his feet in relatively quick order, Scott moving more slowly thanks to his bell being rung a moment before. This gives Steen the opening to grab Hampton and lock his hands for a series of German suplexes. He lands two, but on the third, Hampton hooks his leg and blocks. He does a standing switch and tries to start locking Steen down for the Dark Sanctuary. Steen does some blind backward headbutts before Hampton can get him in, but as he turns around, Hampton is whirling already, blasting him with a rolling elbow that leads to a sequence including a gamengiri, a neckbreaker over his knee, and a a Meteora that drills Steen into the canvas, but he only gets two out of all that. He includes the ref in the verbal abuse this match has been steeped in, but they do not budge.
Scott shouts at the fans some more before signaling the end of the match, stalking Steen as he preps for his side axe kick, but as he jumps, Willie surprises him by lunging forward, catching Hampton and pulling him down with a Flat Liner! Hampton is stunned by the sudden turn, but he’s awake again just as quickly, because the Hollywood Dream locked him in the Koji Clutch! It’s a difficult hold to escape from, and Hampton struggles for a long time, but despite all Steen’s efforts, and the ref’s repeated questions of whether he wants to give up, Hampton digs deep to push himself close enough to the ropes to have the hold broken. Steen takes his turn taunting the crowd, about how if this is one of the NLW originals, then they should be grateful he’s here now. He kicks Hampton while he’s down, which prompts him to start stirring. Steen grabs him, lifting him into position for the Cali Clash, but Hampton heaves him up and over in a back body drop to reverse! Steen is quick to push himself up to his feet, but not quick enough to dodge the axe kick a second time, and Hampton’s foot comes crashing down right on top of his head! Hampton sneers as he covers Steen for a three-count, going right back to abusing the crowd afterwards.
[WINNER: Scott Hampton via High Frequency Blade in 9:03]
Beep...... Beep...... Beep......
A chiseled body lies motionless on a hospital bed, the infrequent tone of an electrocardiogram pulsing in the background. Though we can’t see his face from this angle… the physique could only belong to one man. His sizable legs are completely covered as well, aside from a single zebra-striped wrestling boot protruding from the bottom of the sheets. The faint sounds of the muscular patient’s vital signs are accompanied only by the quiet sobs of the two women seated at his bedside, desperately clutching his limp right hand.
Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...
A blonde-haired nurse enters the frame, her outfit more closely resembling a tacky Halloween costume than the uniform of a reputable healthcare professional. She adjusts her red cross adorned hat and tight-fitting white scrubs, undoing a few of the highly strained buttons at the top.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Remembering her training, the nurse bends over to check on the patient, a moment strategically captured by the camera at the perfect angle. She whispers something into the patient’s ear.
Beep–Beep–Beep–Beep–Beep–Beep–Beep–Beep–Beeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Cut to black.
“...I was a heartbeat away from that Southern States Title, daddeh...
...I was this close...
...But it ain’t over til’ the THICC missy sings...
...and I ain’t heard that bitch yet!”
With a jolt of energy, Sexton Love sits up in the hospital bed like Frankenstein’s monster. The women let out a sudden gasp as the camera zooms in on Bodzilla's face, revealing it to the audience for the first time since last week's title match.
A mask.
A ridiculous, oversized, protective mask.
The tips of The Lovely One's moustache are barely visible beneath the clunky hard plastic, but his scowl is unmistakable.
“Sexton Love knows a thing or two about bitches, daddeh...
…AND PAYBACK IS ONE OF ‘EM!”
We zoom in closer still, seeing the unbridled rage in Sexton Love's eyes... his feud with The Thespian now well beyond personal.
“You’re gonna understand the meaning of payback real soon, Champ... real soon. Because Big Daddeh Love always finishes ON TOP, babbeh... and when it’s all said and done... when all the smoke has cleared... I will be the one that reigns supreme...
Because SEX...
…SELLS!”
MATCH TWO
EIGHT MAN TAG TEAM MATCH
Brad Swann, Nathan Parker &
The faces came out first with the New South coming out together and then Adam Sanders joining Felix in his entrance. All the fans in the Lakefront Arena began cheering until Nathan Parker’s music started. Then David Goon with Darlene Price making the substitution for the NLW Heavyweight Champion. But what really made every fan start to tremble was the entrance of the King himself, Brad Swann. After some discussion in their respective corners, David Goon and Felix open the match.
As soon as the bell sounds, Goon grabs Felix with bad intent, but Felix is able to power out and send Goon flying with a snap suplex. Goon charges back at Felix, who lets him charge into a bicycle kick. Felix quickly locks in a sodegarami but Goon was way too close to the ropes. Before Felix could get back to his feet, Goon quickly trips him up. On attempt number two to get to his feet, Felix was dropped on his head with a full nelson suplex, bridging for the pin. Despite a well executed move by Goon, Felix kicks out at two. Goon tags in Parker.
Parker drops Felix once more with a sideslam and tries to get a pinfall again, but Felix keeps the match going with yet another kick out. Parker grabs Felix by the leg but Felix kicks him with the other leg to show he isn’t quitting. Felix springs to his feet to deliver a combination of strikes that’s finished off with a jumping knee strike. Felix dives to his corner to tag in Beau Traywick.
The moment Parker realized the legal man changed, he was being swung to the ground with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors. Traywick hits a standing moonsault before staying on top for the cover but only gets a two out of it. Beau irish whips Nathan, but Nathan counters and sends Beau to the ropes. Beau tries to hit a springboard elbow off the rebound but Parker scouts it well to make Beau Traywick hit nothing but mat. Nathan Parker yanks Beau to his feet and drops him to the mat with a headbutt followed by his own standing moonsault called the Quick Trip. Cover by Parker and kickout by Traywick. Tag to Darlene Price.
In a world where the hurricanranas are usually given by Beau Traywick, he was driven to the mat by Price with one. She attempts to go for the killshot with the Fash Stomp (curb stomp) but Traywick moves his head just in time to avoid getting hit with the move. Blind tag to Waylon Kirk as Dar uses a headscissors to swing Beau across the ring. While she sets up to get ready to drill Beau with the Executive Orders (spear), Waylon Kirk grabs her into a full nelson. Traywick drills the held Dar with a kick before making sure to get at least one impactful tag team move before he is ordered to the outside. Kirk grabs Dar and catapults her into a shotgun dropkick from Traywick for the Whiskey Icarus. Cover by Waylon and two count.
Waylon Kirk continues the attack by hitting a gutwrench powerbomb and uses that to go for another cover but another kickout by Darlene Price. The tables turned however when a sitout piledriver turns into a hurricanrana driver by Dar. After the earlier miss, she finally hits the Fash Stomp. Price hooks the leg, believing she secured the win by Waylon Kirk’s kickout says otherwise. She gets up for the frog splash on the top rope, leaps and… NOTHING!! Waylon Kirk bounces off the middle rope for a Bullfrog Splash and… still connects with nothing!! Both competitors are down after missing their respective high-flying splashes. Referee starts counting to ten for the countout as both look to get to their corner to tag in a partner. Dar is closer and reaches out for Swann. Waylon is just a couple of feet from Felix. Annnnnd SWANN IS IN THE RING!!
The crowd turns to a quick hush as the first thing King Brad Swann does is yank Waylon Kirk away from his corner. He locks in the anaconda vice before Beau Traywick storms the ring to break up the count. The man who took the crown from Maverick doesn’t take too kindly to Beau saving his New South teammate and immediately executes a finger snap on Beau. He places both members of New South in a neutral corner before dropkicking them to the mat. He pulls Waylon Kirk away from the ropes for the cover and Waylon Kirk kicks out to keep the match alive. He starts to climb the top rope, perhaps looking to seal the win with a Flight of the Bird (Phoenix Splash), but Beau Traywick grabs onto Swann’s ankle to prevent him from climbing the top rope. This stalls Brad Swann just enough for Waylon Kirk to do what he needed to do… tag in the Awkward One.
King Brad Swann looks over at the very man who defeated him in his last match at XHF End of Days thirteen months ago. Every fan is on their feet. Adam Sanders, once afraid of Brad Swann, beckons him to come after him and Swann obliges, beginning an exchange of strikes. Left from Swann. Right from Adam. Right from Swann. Left from Adam. Right from Adam. Left from Adam and the former AWF Prestige Champion drops Swann off his feet with a lariat. He tries to repeat the move once Swann popped back up but Swann was ready for it, countering it into a chicken wing crossface. Adam powers out of the move and gives Swann an elbow before delivering the Motor City Circuit (double arm DDT) to the King of the XHF. Cover by Sanders and kickout by Swann.
Before Adam could get back to his feet, Swann struggles with him on the mat until he can get the anaconda vice on him. It took a bit longer this time, but Adam was able to wiggle free from the submission a second time. Swann charges once more but Adam swings the momentum back in his favor with a spinebuster. Sanders goes for a submission of his own with the Death by Powerpoint (camel clutch) but Swann was able to get to the ropes. Swann was able to fight off Adam Sanders with a sweep of the legs before getting back to his corner to tag back David Goon.
The first thing Goon does once he hit the ring was land a superkick on Adam Sanders, hoping to steal the match but the ensuing pinfall only gets a two. Goon attempts to grab Adam’s legs, but he locks in The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Hell’s Gate) which prompts Darlene Price to step into the ring to interrupted the submission. Nathan Parker quickly suplexes Adam, which is just enough to make the New South storm the ring to try to fight off the interrupted heels. Throughout the chaos that followed, Adam quickly tags in Felix but now Swann has run into the ring as well. New South tosses Darlene out of the ring before Swann clotheslines both of them out of the ring. But as soon as Swann turns around, Felix lands a shotei on Swann that accomplishes the same feat. David Goon uses that distraction to Full Nelson suplex Felix and bridges it, but Adam now interrupts the pinfall with a stomp. David Goon starts swinging at Adam but Adam is able to get him into a Fireman’s carry position and drives him to the mat with the Dream Breaker (Death Valley Driver). Adam remembers he tagged in Felix and tells him to quickly get the cover. Felix obliges and gets the three and the victory.
[WINNER: Felix (with Adam Sanders and the New South) Via The Dream Breaker at 14:10]
We open to the welcoming smile of Kelly Ross. Stood in front of a subtle but striking interview set-up. With a metallic NLW logo hanging in front of a black curtain.
Kelly Ross: Fans, momentarily we’re about to speak with th-
: Nah, nah, nah, nah, FUCK THAT!
A familiar voice drowns out the cheerful tones of Ross, in spite of her using a microphone. The camera moves to the left towards the voice, revealing the un-obstructed backstage hallway and the source of the foul mouthed interruption: Nathan Cage.
Immediately, Ross begins making throat slashing gestures to the camera. Whose operator’s once professional handling, now gives way to wild swaying as the cameraman tries to move away from Cage. Hands fumbling against the buttons in panic to turn the device off.
Kelly Ross: Cage we’re not allo-
Nathan Cage: I don’t give a SHIT what Gunn’s told you to do! Whoever’s interview time this was can go fuck ‘emself. If they’ve got a problem, they can stand front ‘n centre and get their-
Cage’s hand lashes out and grabs the end of the camera, halting its attempt to flee. Now vastly out of position, we see the side of the interview set-up along with the hallway that houses it. Kelly Ross’ frightened face pops out of the corner, hoping The Rabid Dog is not about to destroy another piece of expensive equipment. Or, you know, injure someone again.
Nathan Cage: First of all, you try an’ turn that camera off or run away from me again and I promise you. The next segment NLW’s gonna get will be live from the inside of your skull, do I make myself clear?
A feeble voice mutters from off-screen.
Cameraman: Y-yes sir.
Cage takes his hand off the camera. Without any support however, the camera still sways very slightly on account of its operator’s barely constrained terror. The professional interview set-up also goes unused as Cage doesn’t move from the hall, prompting Kelly to throw her hands up and walk off. All of this does not seem to go noticed by Cage.
Nathan Cage: First thing - keep that fuckin’ camera steady - first thing I wanna address is that one-eyed FREAK, Brad Swann. Who saw fit to drag his bloated ass out of a river and step back in the ring. I figured, since he’s supposed to be a big ‘ol legend, that I’d do him the honour of servin’ him notice. NLW is Nathan Cage’s house. And it doesn’t matter what accomplishments he’s had or how many companies he built up and had crash around him, with a SNAP OF MY FINGERS, he gets sent out on his ass yet again. It ain’t gonna take me a stupid lil sword or a pond of water to get the job done neither!
Cage cracks his neck. His usual dislike for the world focuses into a much more specific direction.
Nathan Cage: Onto bigger fish in the pot though, it seems like yet again I gotta show to everyone in NLW, exactly what happens when you jerk around Nathan Cage! Gunn, you smug, self righteous, greedy little piece of human garbage. Clearly ya don’t give a damn about your staff and your roster, cause the amount of times I’ve told ya exactly what’s gonna happen, you take the hard way time after time after time. If it ain’t shieldin’ that fuck Tommy Kelly from me or tellin’ your staff not to record my promos anymore, it’s somethin’ else and ain’t none of it good!
Cage paces back and forth. Possibly, trying to calm himself, as the very mention of Gunn seems to cause Cage such annoyance he struggles to truly articulate his discontent with the man.
Nathan Cage: Ricardo Goon is a spineless, gutless, coward punk bitch. Sparks, I don’t really have strong opinions of one way or the other. Well, as much as anyone else in NLW. So when I say she’s below Nathan Cage in every damn attribute that matters, I wanna make clear that I’m not tryin’ to single her out or pick on her! Same’d be true for ANYONE else! But takin’ my personal opinions of both outta the equation, I figure it’s only fair to warn both of ya!
Nathan Cage: BB Gunn, gambled with both of your careers. I told Gunn, I told the world champion. Nathan Cage was gonna be his next opponent. Instead…
Cage holds a hand up and lets out a deep, frustrated sigh.
Nathan Cage: Instead he wanted to flex his authority and reign in control of his lil company. Which means, I don’t just have Ric Goon in my crosshairs, I got Keahi Sparks in ‘em too. So… Now that NLW, now that both of you. Are properly warned?
Once more grabbing the camera, Cage brings it close to his face. Frenzied hair, wild eyes and sadistic grin plain as can be.
Nathan Cage: Ya got nobody to blame, for what comes next.
Cage roughly shoves the camera back into the cameraman’s chest. He stumbles back and falls with a terrified howl. Thankfully however, his body breaks the fall of the expensive equipment. The last show we see is off the pipes in the hallway ceiling as the segment ends.
MATCH THREE
The Jitterman vs Al Jabroni
Al Jabroni was the first one out with “Disco Boy” Johnny B right behind him. Once they got into the ring, there was a moment of quiet. Jabroni turned to “Disco Boy” Johnny B and started asking if “the Jitterman” was just Michael J. Fox pretending to be a wrestler. “Disco Boy” Johnny B starts shaking his head before the lights completely cut out. Once the veiled woman appears on the stage with the book, Jabroni starts to take a step back in confusion and starting to get a bad vibe. Another figure starts to make its way to the ring, starting to worry Jabroni and Johnny B. Once the lights came on and the duo got a good look at who was in front of them, Al Jabroni froze. “Disco Boy” Johnny B leaps out of the ring and leans on the barricade to stay as far away from the Jitterman as possible.
The bell rings, and Al Jabroni has still not moved a muscle. Jitterman tilts his head before looking at Jabroni’s paler-than-normal face. Jabroni quickly tries to dive out of the ring, but Jitterman was quick enough to grab him and keep him in the ring. Jitterman quickly hits a backbreaker on Jabroni and Al flops on the ring like it actually broke his back. The Jitterman yanks Al by the head lifts him for a sidewalk slam. The Jitterman gets the cover, and perhaps in a moment where Al Jabroni fails at self-preservation, he kicks out.
Jabroni finally sprints to the corner of the ring furthest away from Jitterman. Jitterman extends both arms, almost to challenge Jabroni to try him. Jabroni, clearly nervous to do anything, starts to slowly climb the corner and gets onto the top rope. He leaps for the Catch 22 (Flying Hurricanrana) and Jitterman is on the mat for the first time in the match. Jabroni sits back up, possibly feeling like he might have finally gotten something done… but sees that the Jitterman sat back up at the same time he did. Jabroni kicks Jitterman. No result. Punch. Nothing. Low blow. A warning from the referee and not even a flinch from the Jitterman. Finally, the Jitterman drills Jabroni with a fist of his own, which drops Jabroni like a sack of bricks.
Jabroni rolls out of the ring and starts screaming, but Jitterman grabs him from inside the ring and suplexes him back into the ring. After playing with his prey for long enough, Jitterman sends Jabroni into the corner. Jabroni takes one step forward to maybe figure out his next move but was a victim of Jitterman’s Lights Out (Running Big Boot to the Face). Jitterman drags Al Jabroni’s limp body to the middle of the ring while “Disco Boy” Johnny B looks on in terror. Cover by Jitterman and victory for the Jitterman.
[WINNER: The Jitterman Via Lights Out at 03:44]
Walking around backstage tonight is Chris Sanderson, with the XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship draped over his shoulder as he’s in a black and blue suit. A few people give him congratulations and so forth before he stops in his tracks and lets out a huge sigh. Turning around was none other than his half sister, Brittany April. You know, the bimbo who hosts the post show?
Chris Sanderson: Funny we’ve been working here for a bit now and this is the first time we’ve came across one another backstage…
Brittany nods her head while finishing up some pouring of coffee.
Brittany April: Well, I try to stay out of your way because I know how much you hate being annoyed before a match. Or after a match. I just try not to annoy you, you know?
Chris Sanderson: It’s fine. You’re fine. Stop worrying about it so much.
There was a silence between the two as after hearing that, well, Brittany April never misses a chance to show she’s more capable to be the interviewer than Kelly what’s her name..
Brittany April: Since you’re here, how about I ask you a couple of questions for the people?
Against his better judgement, Chris nods his head.
Brittany April: So, Mister New Junior Heavyweight Champion, how does it feel to get that monkey off your back?
Naturally he adjusts the title.
Chris Sanderson: It feels great, obviously. I worked my ass off to finally have something like this on my shoulder again. You saw it first hand. You heard my kids on Christmas Eve expressing doubt about my ability to end 2021 with a championship victory. But, I made them proud. It made me proud. And, I made history.
Brittany April: What history?
Both of them grin knowing what he’s going to say. They are siblings for Christ’s sake. They do have an unspoken bond.
Chris Sanderson: When I beat Florida Man for this championship, this is the first title in XHF Network history to have a father and son both hold it. Venom and El Rey had their chances, and, as usual, the Kane family beat them to the punch. I mean, our dad died first, I won this title before El Rey, so they just lag behind a little bit.
Shots have been fired.
Brittany April: Is there any truth to the rumor that Sanders and Son are done?
Chris Sanderson: Zero. Adam and I will continue to be a tag team. Just because we’re not slappin’ hands every show doesn’t mean we’ve suddenly stopped. Anyone who thinks that has their own head up their ass.
That will put an END to those rumors.
Brittany April: And one final question. What does 2022 hold for you?
A grin from Chris came after that question.
Chris Sanderson: To hold this as long as I’m able. To maybe capture the NLW Tag Team Championships with Adam Sanders. And, who knows, maybe make a run at the heavyweight championship while I’m here.
The grin goes away now.
Chris Sanderson: Maybe the biggest goal is too big but if winning the same championship as our dad held three times was lofty? How about this one. First father and son to have ever won the XHF Rumble.
Brittany’s eyes pop out of her head, metaphorically speaking, as Chris goes back to smiling.
Brittany April: Okay then. Enjoy the rest of the show, I know I will as will everyone else watching tonight!
And with that, she sips her coffee as Chris grabs a corndog. The camera cuts to ringside.
MATCH FOUR
Nathan Cage vs Razor Blade
This match starts with a nose-to-nose staredown. It’s almost admirable that Razor Blade is willing to get that close to a man like Nathan Cage. Then Cage wheels back and slaps him across the face. There is an equal chorus of cheers and boos as Cage descends upon the self-proclaimed “Best in the World” with a flurry of punches, elbow strikes, knee lifts, and headbutts. He does a pie face that Blade reacts to strongly and the ref pulls him off. It would seem that Cage got a little bit inside the eye holes. Cage holds his hands up, claiming something close to innocence (something about how Cage would make sure you knew what he’d done if he’d meant it). While disputing this, Blade recovers, letting him retaliate against Cage when he is allowed back in, slapping him right back, then with the other hand, then a spinning backhand, finishing by nailing a roundhouse kick that drops Cage. But he gets a short two-count out of it. While he’s down, Razor tries to lock in the Razor Anaconda Vice, but the Rabid Dog is not weak enough yet, and he fights back, getting some traction with another headbutt. This stuns Razor enough to allow a switch, and with Cage in the mount, he just starts headbutting the shit out of Razor until the ref is forced to separate them, at which point both men have cuts appearing on their foreheads. But one of them looks a lot happier about it than the other.
Cage is up first and just stomps the dog shit out of Razor until he’s able to get in the ropes to force the ref to interfere. Cage takes the lecture for a second before pushing past to try and keep the pressure on, but he just gets another roundhouse for his trouble. Blade feels at the cut on his forehead before setting himself as Cage reels back. He then springboards off the top rope and blasts Cage with a clothesline! Cage careens back before falling, heading for the corner, but Razor just measures him before charging into the corner with a big charging knee strike/bulldog combo to pull him back out! Reviews are mixed as Razor stands up and grandstands a bit before turning to Cage, promising he’ll be sleeping soon. But as Cage pushes himself up and Razor heaves him onto his shoulders, Cage starts viciously kneeing Razor in the head, causing him to drop Cage back down, opening him up for a backbreaker, and then a flurry of elbow strikes. When the ref starts counting, Cage throws Razor down, then backs against the ropes for momentum before dropping The Big Fuck You elbow drop across Razor’s bleeding face.
A few more stomps from Cage--there’s never enough--spurs Razor to start standing up, but that means Cage can pull him into position for a piledriver. He lifts Razor up, then just sits down in a Funk Style Piledriver that makes the crowd cringe, but Razor gets some cheers when he kicks out of it. This just makes Cage angrier, though. He gets Razor in position for the Death by Cage driver, but Razor clamps his ankles around Cage’s leg, blocking the driver. Cage responds by clubbing him in the back several times, but Razor catches his arm one time and twists around into an arm-trap lariat! Cage rolls to the ropes, knowing he’ll go for the Razor Anaconda Vice again, but Razor stomps him a few times along the way. Cage rolls out of the ring to recover, and Razor gets the idea to chase after him. He backs into the ropes, but when he charges for the suicide dive, Cage was waiting and pulls himself up with the second rope to land a super headbutt on Razor! Razor is basically out already after a weird backwards version of Air Cage, and the Rabid Dog is quick to capitalize. He’s a bit loopy, but not loopy enough to forget how to do his pumphandle driver, and Razor is even more dazed, so it’s a simple matter of getting from Death by Cage to the one, two, three.
[WINNER: Nathan Cage via Death by Cage at 7:47]
Following his match we cut to Nathan Cage backstage, barely making his way through the gorilla position holding his head when he hears it.
"Born of a Broken Man" blasts out of the speakers, sending the crowd into a frenzy as they knows exactly who that is. Tommy Kelly's music pumps and Cage braces himself for something, anything but nothing comes. Headgames, as the rabid animal looks around tensing for a fight. The music plays for only a minute before stopping, and leaves Cage rubbing his head wondering what the hell is going on. That's when all the screens in the backstage area come on, showing this;
Frustrated and annoyed, Cage yells out to the monitors, but stops his tantrum when he hears the voice play over the speakers, and the joyous reaction from the fans in the audience.
Tommy Kelly: Woof woof little dog... the Crow is coming to play.
More cheers from the fans, and more teeth-exposed grimacing from Cage as he watches the screen play the image on loop.
Tommy Kelly: This... isn't... over...
And with that, all the monitors and screen turn to static, and leave Nathan Cage standing there with a look of fury and confusion on his face. The camera cuts backstage.
God, I fucking hate cowards.
Bloodied Fox is sitting in the locker room, dressed in his street clothes. He does not look happy.
Three guesses who I'm talking about when I say that, and the first two don't count. You've all seen the card for Battle For Hegemony after all. Turns out our new X*Crown champion, 'The Self-Made God'...
The condescension in his voice as he says that is so thick you could use it as ballistic gel.
...Misha Constantine managed to sneak a clause into his title shot contract that stops one person of his choosing from challenging for the belt as long as he holds it. Am I supposed to be flattered that you're that afraid of me, Misha? 'Cause I'm not. I'm just really fucking angry. Now you can run from me for as long as you want, but in the end I will cut you down. As for the man who is taking my place as NLW's representative? I've already told him this myself; Felix has my respect and my support. Having fought him in the ring I know just how damn tough he is, and if anyone can bring the X*Crown to NLW it's him.
But the question remains: what is my focus for as long as the X*Crown is beyond my reach? The NLW World Heavyweight championship?
He lets the question hang for a second, then shakes his head.
Nathan Cage has staked his claim to the next shot for that title, and Nathan Cage beat me clean, centre of the ring, at Open Fight Night. So right now that's his prize to take. And since I don't have a tag partner in NLW, that just leaves one piece of gold as a target. Gold currently held by someone who seems to like having my name in their mouth...
A vicious smile starts to spread across his face.
I think it's about time we shared a stage, hmm Theo?
MATCH FIVE
NLW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
The End (c) vs The Tilted Cartridges
Dunne decided to start off for the Tilted Cartridges, and Fargo started for the champions. They locked up and the larger man, Dunne, immediately used his size and power advantage to back Fargo up to a neural corner, he didn’t have it all his own way, Fargo was no slouch but eventually was pushed into the corner. The referee demanded a clean break, which Dunne gave but Fargo slapped him across the face, much to his amusement. Dunne didn’t see the funny side and unloaded on Fargo with shots to the gut, Fargo saw a big hook coming and ducked out, and this reversed the positions, allowing Fargo to grind Dunne down with kicks to the gut. Before he goes to ground, Fargo grabs Dunne and whips him to the opposite corner and charged at him, Dunne saw him coming and thrusted an elbow in his face and then popped out with a spinning lariat to ground Fargo.
Dunne grabbed Fargo and threw him into his corner, tagging in Cheez who looked a little surprised in Dunne’s confidence in him, but went with it. He went to the top rope as Dunne held Fargo in a front facelock and Cheez entered the match with an axe handle smash to his back. Cheez, under strict orders from his tag partner, kept the pressure on Fargo by bringing him back to his feet and attempted an Irish whip, Fargo reversed and Cheez bounced back towards him, he went for a clothesline which was ducked and on return Cheez hit a head scissor takedown! Dunne kept the encouragement up from the corner and Cheez went for a cover but got a one count only, he brought Fargo back to his feet and looked for a suplex, but Fargo blocked and instead hit a brainbuster to completely swing the match back in his favour. He tagged Mehrunes Smith in, Smith grabbed Dunne and hit him with a forearm which knocked Cheez back a couple steps into a Fargo release German suplex.
Cheez was in a spot of bother here, he was isolated and The End clearly wanted to put the damage on him. Smith was in the mood to put a bit of a clinic on as well, starting off with a picture perfect butterfly suplex to keep Cheez grounded, and then followed with an Asai moonsault, he covered but got a two count only. This didn’t worry Smith one jot, and he tagged Fargo back in who followed his partner’s lead. Cheez had crawled to a neutral corner to try and get some separation, so Fargo put his boot in his throat, prompting a count from the referee. Fargo released at four and reminded both the ref and Wellington Dunne that he has until five which was accompanied with a sick grin. He pulled Cheez to the centre of the ring and nailed him with the Deadend Brainbuster, but didn’t make the cover, instead he tagged Smith back in, the stalked Cheez like pack animals, waiting for him to wobble to his feet, Fargo hit the Shotgun Blast [European uppercut] and this knocked Cheez back into a German suplex. Smith covered and Dunne opted to get involved, breaking the pin up which caused Fargo to step back to the ring, but Dunne retreated, hands in the air with an “all’s fair” vibe.
Smith tagged Fargo back in and Fargo whipped Cheez to the ropes. He lowered his head and out of nowhere, Cheez rolled over his back, Fargo looked back and swiped an elbow at him as he cam back, Cheez ducked, he came back and went for a cross body, but Fargo caught him! Showing off his power he chucked Cheez onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry, he launches Cheez up for a move but the kid reverses, spiking him with a DDT! Both men were laid out, both men started crawling to their corners…Fargo got to Smith….and Cheez got to Dunne!
Dunne came in off the hot tag and went to work, he floored the onrushing Smith with a headbutt and gave Fargo the same treatment. Dunne was fired up and hit a T-Bone suplex on Smith who was temporarily back on his feet. Fargo was next up and he hit him with an overhead belly to belly that sent him out of the ring. Dunne looked at Mehrunes Smith who was slowly getting back to his feet and pounced on him, lifting him up and hitting the Well n’Dunne [Argentine backbreaker into DDT], he covered but Smith got a shoulder up at two and a half. Dunne wasn’t phased and he dragged him back to his feet and put him on his shoulders, looking for the Wild Ride, but Smith elbowed his way out of trouble and dropped behind him, he caught Dunne with a dropkick which sent him to the ropes and quickly tagged in Fargo, who had recovered enough to return to his corner. Fargo shuffled towards Dunne, but to his surprise, Cheeze flew over the top of his tag partner and hit a springboard dropkick! Neither member of The End realised, but Cheez was close enough to tag himself in! He made the cover but Smith booted him in the head to break the pin up. Smith then hit a running knee to subdue Dunne.
Smith told Fargo to get up, the referee told him to go back to his corner but he ignored it and told Fargo to set him up for something, Fargo groggily got up and lifted Cheez up in a powerbomb position, Smith went to the corner, The End were looking to do some serious damage to the youngster, but before Smith could take off from the turnbuckle he had ascended, Dunne ran across the apron and pushed him to the floor! Not satisfied with that, The Glasgow Bull went after Smith and brawled with him on the outside. With no partner, Fargo hit a powerbomb anyway. However the look on his face suggested that was not enough, he pulled Cheez up by his hair and set him up for another powerbomb, but Cheez hit a couple of punches when he was lifted up, and rolled into a sunset flip, one….two….three! Fargo can’t believe it, Smith and Dunne’s necks almost snap off their head as they hear the bell ring, and Cheez rolls away, eyes bulging, he can’t believe what he’s just done! He’s won the Tag Team Titles in one of the biggest upsets in NLW history!
[WINNERS AND NEW NLW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Tilted Cartridges Via sunset flip pin at 14:01]
We cut to the office of BB Gunn who is watching the finale of the tag match, his mouth open in shock. He shakes his head and looks at the camera, attempting to compose himself.
BB Gunn: Wow, NLW, it's safe to say we've started the year with a bang, and whilst it's not over, I've got an announcement regarding the Southern States Title and the Tag Team Titles. Now, it seems like a lot of the roster's New Year's Resolution was to pester me and ask for title shots. And look, The End will get their rematch, and Sexton Love will have another turn at Thespian...but in two weeks we are going to have a fatal four way match, The Academy, The Goons, The New South and The Straight Edge Society will face off, the winners will face The Tilted Cartridges and The End in a table, ladders and chairs match at Masquerade for the titles.
He smiles.
BB Gunn: And as for the Southern States Title? Well Thespian will defend that in our main event in two weeks time. Who will he face? Well we'll find out at the start of the night, because six competitors will be involved in a beat the clock challenge, whoever wins the challenge will take Thespian on later that night for the gold...but let's not get ahead of ourselves, we still have a main event to enjoy, Heavyweight Title on the line...let's get to it!
We cut back to ringside for our main event.
MAIN EVENT - MATCH SIX
NLW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
Ricardo Goon (c) vs Keahi Sparks
There was no nerves from Sparks, but there was a lot of awareness that Ricardo was a threat, and to add to that threat, David Goon was at ringside, lurking like hungry hyena, ready to take what scraps were on offer. The two circled each other briefly before locking up, Sparks broke and went behind with a waist lock, Goon threw an elbow which connected and sent her back a step, Goon turned for some offense but got a European uppercut for his troubles. Sparks kept the attack up, throwing knife edge chops at Ric until he was against the ropes, she whipped him to the opposite set of ropes and on his return she cleaned him out with a roundhouse kick! Goon rolled out of the ring and regrouped with his brother David, which drew heat from the crowd but they did not seem to care one bit.
Sparks goaded Ric to come back into the ring, and eventually he got onto the apron, Spark, somewhat generously let him enter but he didn’t get much breathing room, she went back in with chops and forearms, and again looked for an Irish whip, but this was reversed, clothesline attempt from Goon was missed and she floored him with a neckbreaker, cover for a short two count. Sparks dragged him back to his feet and set him up for a powerbomb, but Ric countered with a back body drop. Sparks was quick to get back up but Ric wasn’t having any of it and put a boot to her head which knocked her out of the ring. Ric gave a glance to David, who started to wander to her location, and Ric then took the cheap option of gaining the referee’s attention whilst his brother could place a swift punt kick to her ribs. By the time the referee turned, David was walking away like nothing had happened, much to the crowd’s annoyance.
Ric slid out of the ring and collected Sparks who was gasping for air from the punt kick. He slammed her head on the apron a trio of times before rolling her back into the ring. With Sparks slow to get up, he waited patiently before hitting a dragon suplex, making a cover but only getting a two count. The champion wasn’t concerned however, and simply brough Sparks back to her feet, whipping her to the corner hard, Sparks bounced out and he went to the ropes to hit a running bulldog. Goon was beginning to enjoy himself and brought her back up to her feet, he sent her to the ropes and looked for a clothesline, but the challenger ducked and Ric turned into a Pele kick, which sent him stumbling to the ropes. Sparks got back up and charged at the champion, but he launched her over the top rope and to the floor below.
David wasn’t involved this time, but Ric did put on some more punishment, picking Sparks up and tossing her into the ring steps, she let out a yell of pain on impact, and Ric, with a lot of instruction from the referee sent her back in after this. Instead of going for a cover, he stalked her, putting an odd kick on her as she slowly got back up, before lifting her onto his shoulder, ready for a powerslam. However as he stepped forward she slipped behind. Ric turned around and Sparks hit him with a lariat that took him down, Ric scrambled back up and went for a lariat of his own, but the challenger saw it coming, ducked and this allowed her to counter with Lights in the Sky [blue thunder bomb]. She covered but Ric got his shoulder up in time!
Sparks was rocking, and Ric was rocked, she screamed at him to get back to his feet, which he slowly did, but before she could do any more damage, David Goon was on the apron which caught the referee’s attention. Sparks clearly had quite enough of his involvement and went over to deal with Goon herself, but David had a plan, he pushed the referee into her and they clashed heads, the referee went down and Sparks stumbled away, allowing David to enter the ring, and The Goons had her surrounded. However the crowd suddenly were buzzing…why? Because somebody had sprinted down to the ring and even the odds. That somebody….?
Nathan. F’n. Cage.
He wasn’t empty handed either, he had a chair in hand which prompted David to gather Ric and stand as far away as possible. The referee had started to stir by this point and all four knew this…it appeared that the situation may simmer down at this point, David seemed willing to leave peacefully if Cage did, Cage nodded in understanding…and hit Sparks around the chair in her back!
[WINNER: Keahi Sparks Via DQ at 11:43]
The Goons look at each other and then the fallen Sparks, before laughing in unison. Cage laughs too, the crowd boo, these three can't be in cahoots, can they?
Dan Simmons: I don't believe it, Tommy, Cage has ruined this main event, and for what?
Tommy West: I've stopped trying to understand Nathan Cage, he does what he wants, when he wants.
David Goon circles the fallen Sparks, and Ric tells him to head to the top rope, he wants to put a finer point on things by hitting Ether on the challenger. David nods and heads to the top, and Cage watches on with a sick grin on his face. Ric grabs Sparks and hauls her up to her feet, but before he can pop her up, Cage hits him with the chair! David looks incensed and after a moment to process this, he launches himself towards Nathan Cage, but Cage swings the chair and hits him on the head with it, cleaning him out! Cage drops the chair and grabs the Heavyweight Title from the referee, who had collected it to return to the champion.
BB Gunn: Enough! Enough of this!
All eyes to the stage as BB Gunn walks out, fury written all over his expression.
BB Gunn: I told myself I wouldn't let you bully your way into getting what you wanted, but there's just no reasoning with you, is there Cage?
Cage simply smirks and shakes his head, holding the title up symbolically.
BB Gunn: So I'll tell you what, you get your shot....but Sparks isn't getting screwed because you think you can pull this sort of shit. So at Supremacy, Ricardo Goon will defend the NLW Heavyweight Title against Keahi Sparks and Nathan Cage.
The crowd pop, and Cage nods in approval.
Dan Simmons: Well folks, it wasn't the main event we perhaps thought it would be...but these three competitors are going to go at it at XHF Supremacy! And whilst this is all we have time for, join us in two weeks when we have Thespian defending his Southern States Title as well as tag team action! What a night it's been! Goodnight everybody!