Good Riddance 2021 - BANG! The Night Away
Jan 2, 2022 23:14:04 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, bloodiedfox, and 3 more like this
Post by Vodka Fizz on Jan 2, 2022 23:14:04 GMT -5
Hi all! Taking a moment OOC here. There’s no real lighting of the fire tonight (or fancy over-the-top PPV graphics) -- not because we forgot, but because we wanted to spend a few moments thanking you all for a great 2021. We wouldn’t do this without all of you who help bring this wrestling form of magic to life each cycle with great characters and great stories. On behalf of Fizz and myself, thank you for all you do.
In 2022, we hope to keep putting out amazing shows and riding high, but we’re going to need your help. Please consider reaching out to us and asking how you can help -- we could always use writers and occasionally need judges to help break ties. Thank you to all of the guest writers on this show, including but not limited to Sam, Reck, Dresden, and Mav. As you’ll see tonight, the more help we get, the better our shows are, and the more ambitious and satisfying stories you end up taking part in. Thanks again to all of our guests for the past year for jumping in and pitching a hand (too many to list but you are all very much appreciated).
Lastly, a health update -- as some of you might know, I (Caff) got diagnosed with COVID last Thursday (been sick since December 27th, thanks family for getting me sick). I am mostly okay now -- I was fully vaccinated but not boosted (was going to get boosted, I swear). The symptoms of Omicron generally suck (the chest pain is the worst) and I have a few more days of sleep to clear up everything with rest. Point being; get vaccinated, get boosted, and get tested, because if you have symptoms it’s probably COVID. We’ll be putting out another kickass show in January, so even as we might have to spend some time inside out of precaution, we’ll keep right on entertaining you as we’ve always done.
Opens on two teenagers, a boy and a girl, doing homework in the living room.
Lisa: Thanks for helping me out with this geometry homework, Billy. This stuff is like a foreign language!
Billy: No problem. I just like getting to hang out with...
Lisa checks her watch and slams her textbook closed.
Lisa: Oh darn! It's 6:00, I gotta meet Rick.
Billy sighs, then puts his pencil down.
Billy: You sure? Can't you meet him later?
Lisa: (collecting her things) I can't. He gets real mad if I'm late.
Billy: Aw, why do you hang out with a jerk like that? He's not even nice to you.
Lisa: I don't know? Just something about him. He's cool, and he doesn't play by the rules, and when I'm around him. I dunno, I feel cool too. I don't know what it is.
Evan Valentine Jr.: He's a heel.
Lisa and Billy: (together) Rightful X Crown Champion Evan Valentine Jr???
Evan Valentine Jr.: (chews gum) I appreciate you. Billy, no one wants some lame that knows geometerey.
Billy: Geometry.
Evan Valentine: (to Lisa) I hate this fool already it's like...you just wanna smack him but you know he'd hurt your ears crying.
Lisa: I know...
Evan Valentine Jr.: Here, dork.
Billy: Heel Gum?
Evan Valentine Jr.: That's right, Heel Gum is the only gum guaranteed to make you look like the cocky, self confident playa that women will ruin their credit over and have a kid named Damon with. It comes in sour apple, pina colada, and Monster Energy Drink flavors.
Billy: What's it got in it?
Evan Valentine Jr.: (to Lisa) For real, I cannot stand this dude. (to Billy) Who knows what's in gum? Just put it in your mouth and hope for the best, damn!
Billy starts chewing Heel Gum, and a clock wipe transition gives him stubble, sunglasses, wet hair and an all black leather outfit.
Billy: Sup?
Lisa: Billy...?
Billy: It's William now, and I don't owe you an explanation. I don't owe any of you a goddamn thing!
Lisa: Wow, Billy. You're so mean and selfish. I've never seen you this way....
Evan Valentine Jr.: (sees Lisa's phone buzzing) Yo, someone named Rick is calling?
Lisa: Who?
William: Exactly. Now let's bounce out of this dump and go make fun of guys who hold signs on the overpass.
Lisa: (in love) Oh, William. Can I buy you some turntables?
DJ Willy Wonka: (dismissively) I guess.
Lisa cuddles to William's side as he walks away, running his hands through his drenched hair.
Evan Valentine Jr.: Psst, that's what I'm talkin bout! Go on now, ya big ole pimp! Heel Gum. It's like 80% of the gimmick, baby.
Stanford: The following match is tonight’s opening contest and is scheduled for One Fall, and it is for the X-Crown Championship!
Wright: Whoah, we’re starting with this?
Park: Gotta do things big to end the year!
Wright: Well, here it is! Home of the X-Crown since May, FIRESIDE is thrilled and honored to be presenting another X-Crown match.
Park: Vodka Fizz came up just short in End of Days, but ended up earning a one-on-one with the X-Crown champion anyway!
The crowd launches to their feet!
Stanford: Introducing first… weighing 175 pounds, from Los Angeles, California, he is the ‘Self-Made God’, he is MISSSSSSSSSSHAAAAAAAAA CONSSSSSSSSTANTTTTTTINEEEE!
The arena lights cut out. A ring of fire ignites at the head of the entrance way, in the middle of which rises a figure in golden armour tarnished and warped by immense heat:
Wright: The Self-Made God, the first FIRESIDE World Champion, back in the spotlight after stealing the Ignition contract from Lucas Nix and signing away for this match.
Park: Always a brilliant tactician, Constantine constantly thinks one step ahead of everyone, and then has the high-flying athleticism when brains have to turn to brawn.
Stanford: The following contest is set for ONE FALL!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Stanford: AND IT IS FOR THE FIRESIDE WILDFIREEEEEE CHAAMMMPIOOONNNNSHIIIIIPPPPPP!!!!
The crowd within The Hearth cheer loudly, everyone on their feet before Cthulhu” by Gunship begins playing as torches all along the entranceway and aisle light up. “Zolothach” Tabitha Osborne walks out from the back with a wide grin as she takes in the boos from the crowd. She heads down to the ring with a sexy swagger (but she looks like a corpse so not very many catcalls). She rolls into the ring and leans in her corner.
Stanford: Introducing first... wrestling out of Paris, Illinois and weighing in tonight at one hundred and sixty-five pounds... this is "Zolothach"... TABBBBBITHHHAAAAAAA OSSSSSSBOORRRRRNNEEEEEEEE!!!!
The menacing synth and deliberate drums of "Blood Moon" by Dance With The Dead signals the arrival of Ed Zepp, who stalks toward the ring with a look of annoyance that's obvious even through his pair of dark sunglasses. He bounds up to the apron with one step and over the top rope with another, then briefly points a fist to the crowd around him.
Stanford: And her opponent... wrestling out of San Diego, California and weighing in tonight at two hundred and ninety-nine pounds... THIS IS EDDDDDWAAAAARRRRRDDDDD ZEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!
The opening horns of "Torcher II" by DZK begins as the crowd gets to their feet. Once the song really begins, Brad Kane steps out from the back. The former XHF World Champion makes his way to the ring as the long time fans are excited to see him while some of the newer fans are disgusted by this man. Brad Kane shows little emotion as he enters the ring, showing a face of hate for most everyone he will get into the squared circle with. The song begins to fade away as he turns his attention to what matters.
Stanford: And their opponent... wrestling out of Belfast, Northern Ireland and weighing in tonight at two hundred and twenty-three pounds... THIS IS BRRAAAAAAAADDDDDD KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
But, just as everyone expects Evan Valentine to show up... it just so happens that Greg - the assistant to Johnnie Valentine - is standing at the top of the stage with a microphone in his hand.
Greg, Jonnie's Assistant: Hello Ladies and (ahem) Gentlemen, welcome to Good Riddance 2021 at The Hearth in Philadelphia, P.A.!
The boos rise over Greg's voice and scattered "Fuck You Evan!" clap clap clap-clap-clap-clap chants begin.
Greg, Jonnie's Assistant: Despite it's placement on the card, this is your Main Event of the evening. It is a Wildfire Championship Fourway Clusterfuck! Featuring first, she hails from One Of Those Cities In The Midwest Where They Test New Whoppers; She Stands 5 feet 8 inches so she's hard to shop for, She Weighs 165 pounds If You Don't Count Her Emotional Baggage; She is 'ZOLO...(checks index card) ZOLO-TH...ZOLOTACH? I dunno...TABITHA OSBOURNE!!!
The fans cheer as Zolothach sneers at Greg.
Greg, Jonnie's Assistant: And From Diet LA, The City So Bad The Chargers Moved To A Stadium Full Of Booing Fans, It's MAGA California...San Diego, He stands 7 feet tall; He Weighs 299 pounds; The Man Single Handedly Bringing The Claw Back Into Relevance; He Won't Work For Food, 'Cause He Flat Out Can't Work... EDWARD ZEPP!!!
The Hearth pops for Edward Zepp who threatens Greg, who uncharacteristically sells it a little, moving a few steps away.
Greg, Jonnie's Assistant: (clears his throat) And hailing from The Most Depressing City in the Most Depressing Country in the World, still under Her Majesty's domain, Belfast, Northern Ireland; He stands 6 feet tall and weighs 220 pounds; He's Crazier Than A Shithouse Rat...BRAD KANE!!!
Then "Gucci Gucci" by Kreayshawn plays and The Hearth rocks with boos. After a few moments, Evan Valentine Jr. walks out. The lights go out and a spotlight hits him as he throws up a hand sign with an "E" with his right hand and a "V" with his left, drinking in the hate. The lights come back up and he walks to the ring, slapping signs out of his camera shot. Middle fingers so close they nearly touch him stick out from dozens of fans near the aisle. He stops next to one fan and lets him talk shit to the side of his face while he chews gum. He nods then keeps on going until he gets to the ring apron. He slides under the ropes and tells the other wrestlers in the ring, "Move!" then steps on the middle of the second rope, bouncing up and down while the audience jeers and tosses soda cups at him.
Greg, Jonnie's Assistant: (now fired up) And from the home of the Bighorn Sheep, The Desert Tortoise, and The 2021 Battle of the Best Tournament Winner, Palm Springs, California; He stands 5 feet 11 inches tall; (husky voice) He Stole All The Swole At 228 pounds; He's Got So Much Bread He Smells Like A Bakery. The Only Cut He's Getting Tonight Is Of The Gate. He's The Southpaw Who's Mongo's Right Hand Man....EVAN...VALENTINE...JR.!!!!
The boos are deafening as Evan continues to bounce on the middle of the second rope with his "E.V." hand sign He asks the other three wrestlers "You hear that?" then says "Watch this." He spits his gum out at the crowd and the boos get louder, just before he enters the ring and finds his corner.
DING! DING!
The match begins - as all four way matches would - with chaos as Brad Kane targeted Evan Valentine and Edward Zepp targeted Zolothach, and these four were just going after one another, just swinging for the fences with how much power they were willing to put into becoming the first Wildfire Champion-- but soon, the tides turned on both sides, it was now Valentine attacking Kane and Zolothach attacking Zepp. Valentine strikes at Kane with the Back Elbows and stunning Brad Kane enough to keep him out of it and so has Zolothach on the opposite side of the ring as the two begin to stare down one another, slowly circling around the ring and now finding each other in the opposite corners of where they were. Behind Zolothach was Brad Kane, finding his footing to stand back up straight--but Valentine soon turned around to find Edward Zepp standing right behind him - and towering over him - as Valentine's skin turns completely pale. Without any single hesitation, Valentine tries to run away- but a swinging kick from Zolothach knocks him back and into the clutches of Zepp.
Wright: Valentine thought he could get away from Zepp but Zolothach just kicked him right into his arms! This isn't what he wanted, it's what he's been afraid for, and now, he's got nowhere to go but to suffer in his arms!
Park: Well... that's one way of putting it, Oliver. Could have mentioned the fact that Brad Kane just landed a clubbing crossface shot from behind Zolothach to knock her out of the ring, but you continue playing David and Goliath over there.
As Zolothach tumbled out of the ring and Brad Kane gave chase, Valentine was trapped in the bear hug position by Zepp and he's being crushed in the tight grip of the hold. His arms are completely trapped and he's struggling to just slip free from the clutches. Zepp finally releases Valentine but it was only very temporarily as he grabbed onto him and tossed him across the ring with a releasing version of the Exploder Suplex! Valentine flops around like a fish upon impact and he's even rolled out of the ring to continue flopping around from the impact of the move. That time was enough for Brad Kane to slip back inside of the ring and land a nasty Bicycle Pump Kick right to the head of Zepp, and then the Roaring Elbow right to the jaw of Zepp, and rebounding off of the ropes - with Zepp now done to one knee - as Kane charges in with a Step Up Axe Kick that knocks down Zepp entirely.
Wright: Amazing show of strength and power by Brad Kane to topple Zepp the way he did, and now, would you look at that... Here comes Evan Valentine to sweep in and attack--
Park: Not entirely, he's going right after Brad Kane and kicking him in the corner, making sure that he's going toe to toe with a downed Zepp himself. But Kane ain't taking none of it, he's thrown Valentine over the ropes and making him crash down onto the floor below.
Kane finds himself alone again with Zepp bringing himself back up to his knees, looking to cock back the arm and swing the elbow forward but as he charged in-- Zolothach leapt over Zepp and landed a Dropkick onto Kane, knocking him out of the ring. Zolothach turns back around, but to her surprise - and many others - Zepp is standing right back up and he just BULLDOZES through Zolothach with a Lariat that turned her inside out. Evan Valentine is creeping around the ring and just watching for an opening against Zepp. Brad Kane slides back into the ring and goes to work on Zepp, but the Backfist strikes from Zepp are too much for even Brad Kane to get through, he begins to crumble under the strikes of Zepp. Though, from behind came a low blow from Valentine onto Zepp, which was soon followed up with an Enzuigiri right to the head of Zepp, and that's when Kane was able to shake off the attack and rebound off of the ropes - with the limited space he had - to connect The Killshot right to Zepp and knocking him down for the time being.
Wright: Oh, come on! Zepp was doing so well if it wasn't for Valentine going low on Zepp, such a dastardly move--I should have seen it coming from such a spoilt little brat like him, to be honest.
Park: I don't see the issue, really. Valentine's just after giving both Zolothach and Kane the chance to fight against each other without some seven foot tall man lingering in the distance. Two very good strikers and one... Evan Valentine Jr.
Zolothach and Brad Kane begin teeing off with one another, back and forth they went with the strikes until the kicks of Brad Kane came through and they were just too powerful for Zolothach to handle. Kane fell back into the ropes and he rebounded to charge into her for another Killshot kick-- but Evan Valentine came out of nowhere - like a bat out of hell - and leapt up to drive the knee right into his head. Kane falls back into the ropes again, rebounding and trying to charge in, but a Roundhouse Kick right to the stomach from Zolothach stops Kane in his tracks and then an Axe Kick right to the head.
Wright: Some beautiful kicks being perfected right now onto Brad Kane, but even Kane is seeing red right now, gritting his teeth and looking really pissed off right now. We might be seeing the sighting of Reckless Jack if Zolothach isn't too careful.
Park: Oh please, this'll be perfect for these two to square off - two people who just feel a despise for other people and seem to be different entities to what the normal human counterpart would be--
Wright: VALENTINE JUST PULLED ZOLOTHACH'S HAIR! DRAGGING HER TO THE ROPES! THIS IS DESPICABLE! DISGUSTING!
Park: ...this is very common for him to do.
The referee, Chris Mardinly, is demanding for Evan to release the hold on Zolothach's hair but even then, he's not going to admit that he was in the wrong, putting his hands up into the air and shaking his head.
Evan Valentine Jr.: Hey, I didn't do a thing. She got in the way, you going to try and complain about something that I didn't do? Huh!? Is that what you're gonna---AHHHHHH!!!
The screams of Evan Valentine echoed throughout the arena as he's dragged by the feet by Edward Zepp and dropped down onto the floor below with a Sidewinder Suplex. Zepp tries his best to get back up and onto the apron but THE KILLSHOT FROM BRAD KANE KNOCKS ZEPP DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR! ZEPP FALLS FLAT ON HIS BACK AND IS COMPLETELY KNOCKED OUT OF IT!
Wright: GOOD GOD! ALMOST CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE IN THE ARENA!
Park: Let's not fat shame people, Oliver.
Wright: I wasn't but even still... that was a massive drop for someone like him - of his size - with nothing to protect him. His back might have been broken completely.
Zolothach and Brad Kane are left all alone in the ring as they just continue where they've left off, beginning to tee off with one another before Kane looks to rebound off of the ropes and charge in for a Killshot-- but Zolothach ducks the kick and rebounds herself, going for the Lariat but Kane ducked it, and that was exactly what Zolothach needed as she leaped up and connected the Enzuigiri to the back of the head.
Wright: OPPORTUNITY IS OPENED FOR ZOLOTHACH!
Park: One move away - possibily - from becoming the Wildfire Champion if she can hit that Cutter of hers.
With Brad Kane looking like he's about to collapse, Zolothach looks to end this with a Twist of Fate cutter but Brad caught her in time and pushed her away -- but as she rebounded, and Kane was looking for a killing blow with the BK Backfist, she ducked under the arm and found herself in the perfect position to land a Thrust Kick right onto the jaw of Kane. Though, it wasn't enough as he went swinging for another BK Backfist- but ending up with nothing to hit as she ducked it again, landing a Roundhouse to the head that stuns him enough for Zolothach to climb up the ropes and have her back turned to Brad Kane - who's standing on wobbly legs - as she leaped, twisting in the air, and catching Brad Kane with the Twist of Fate!
Wright: TWIST OF FATE! SHE GOT HIM! DEAD CENTER OF THE RING!
Park: This is that chance I was talking about, this is hers for the taking if she can juuust---
Wright: EVAN VALENTINE--- HOLY HELL! ZEPP POUNCED AND KNOCKED VALENTINE OUT OF THE RING!
Park: VALENTINE GOT SENT OVER THE ROPES!
With all of the carnage and chaos ensuing, there was only one thing left for Zolothach to do and that was to cover Brad Kane, hooking the leg as the official makes the count.
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
DING! DING! DING!
Wright: ZOLOTHACH IS THE FIRST EVER WILDFIRE CHAMPION!
Park: A well-deserving victory from such a chaotic match between these lot. This has been a long time coming for Zolothach to be the Wildfire Champion, it was like it was her destiny to win it.
“Cthulhu” by Gunship begins to play through the speakers as Zolothach was finally able to rise from the ashes of what the ring had left in it's wake. Chris Mardinly retrieves the championship and holds it in his hands for Zolothach to take, and she did, raising it high above her head and holding it up high as the first-ever champion of it's history.
Stanford: HERE IS YOUR WINNER... AND THE FIRST-EVER FIRESIDE WILDFIRE CHAMPION... "ZOLOTHACH" TABITHA... OSSSSSBORRRRRNNEEEEEEE!!!!!
Nothing else mattered to Zolothach right now but the championship in her hands, and she held it proudly, as she rolled out of the ring and held it up high for everyone to see as she made her way to the back, leaving the ring in the state that it's in.
An enormous shadow looms over an aisle of lockers. Conversations wither and heads turn to the largest Russian most people have or ever will see. The immense bald man is wearing a red and yellow leotard with a strange pitchfork symbol at its waist. In one arm, he cradles a huge dark fuzzball, almost as large as he is. He speaks almost in a whisper.
Hank Sokolov: So, I hear this is where to go if I want a challenge.
He lifts the enormous mass in hand to reveal it is an adult black bear. He pumps it up and down with one arm as it were a dumbbell.
Hank Sokolov: Which of you Amerikanski jabrons will I fold in half first?
In the resulting silence, only the faintest whimper emits from the bear. Its paws wrap around its face. Sokolov continues to bicep curl with its body.
Hank Sokolov: Or perhaps, I was misinformed when I was told there were worthy opponents here.
He sets the bear on the ground. It trembles away from him, almost imperceptibly. He ignores it, instead fixing the assembled wrestlers with a glare. The bear then turns around and bolts out the door. Shouts and crashes follow in its wake. Hank points at the wrestlers and raises his voice for the first time.
Hank Sokolov: Spread the word. Hank Sokolov, the Russian Colossus is back in the game. If any of you wishes to be twisted into human pretzel, I pledge my assistance. Here, I make dreams come true. Dosvidaniya.
The Russian giant departs without elaboration.
Wright: The powerful Russian Hank Sokolov: coming soon!
Park: Big and scary, that one is! Excited to see what he can do in the ring!
The beats of “Family Ties” begin to play throughout the arena as the house lights shine down a blue hue, circling around the arena and the stage. Soon comes The Californian Angel standing front and center of the stage, with a shine to her eye as she looks around the arena with a smile on her face. Rebecca looks around the arena before she slowly twirls around on the top of the ramp, showing off the sparkling gems within her ring jacket.
Stanford: Introducing first… wrestling out of Anaheim, California and weighing in tonight at one hundred and fifty-nine pounds… She is “The Californian Angel”, “The Goddess of War”... REBECCA BROOOOOOKESSSSSSSSSS!!!!
Rebecca takes one final deep breath before she could make her charge to the ring, high fiving every fan that she passes and hugging the children that reach out to her. The crowd sings the chorus as Rebecca makes her way around the ring, climbing onto the apron and looking out to the thousands of fans as she raises her hand up to the air and waves to the fans, the crowd cheering wildly for Rebecca as she nods her head before entering the ring as she heads to the corner and climbs to the second rope as Rebecca soaks in the crowd's cheerful reaction.
Wright:: I'm looking forward to this one, Park.
The arena lights dim as a bassline begins to play. While a silver mist slowly fills the stage, the fans wait in anticipation. A deep voice starts singing in a whisper. Then, a dark figure walks through the mist. Completely decked out in black, the teenager slowly walks forward. The camera mostly keeps its distance. Different angles give a better look, but their face is still mostly obscured in darkness. After climbing the steps and entering the ring, the volume of the music increases.
"I hear the sons of the city and dispossessed
Get down, get undressed
Get pretty but you and me
We got the kingdom, we got the key
We got the empire, now as then
We don't doubt, we don't take direction"
The mist has thinned but the arena is still dark. The song quietens down.
"Lucretia, my reflection, dance the ghost with me"
Then reaches its loud finale. The lights come back on and the fans cheer. The camera focuses on Sam Sawyer's cold, glaring face.
Stanford: And her opponent... from Houston, Texas... weighing in tonight at one hundred and sixty pounnds... SAMMMMM SAWYEEEEEEEERRRR!
DING DING DING!
Both competitors square up in the center of the ring, sizing each other up. After a moment, they lock up, collar-and-elbow style. Brookes shoves Sawyer back into the corner, driving them against the ringpost. She keeps up the pressure by choking Sawyer in the corner. The referee counts her out as a warning!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
F--
Brookes lets go and takes a stand back, holding her hands up to show she's not trying to push anything too far here. Brookes resets to the center of the ring and invites Sawyer to lock up again. They oblige, quickly rushing to the center of the ring and locking up with Brookes. Sawyer spins Brookes around and pushes her against the ropes, but instead of whipping her across the ring, Sawyer just blasts the taste out of Rebecca's mouth with a stiff forearm to the jaw.
Park: We knew this would be a hard-hitting match, but it's coming to blows quite quickly!
Rebecca looks stunned for a moment, then smirks, welcoming the challenge. Sawyer takes it as an invitation to follow up with one, two... three more forearms to Brookes! They land on her jaw, chest, and shoulder, respectively. Sawyer goes to whip Brookes across the ring, but Brookes reverses the momentum and sends Sam going instead. They hit the ropes and rebound. Brookes goes low to flip Sawyer over her shoulders, but Sawyer leaps instead, charging into Brookes with a mean shoulder block! Brookes stumbles back several steps, leaning back into the ropes to catch herself and springs forward. Sawyer is just getting up to their feet from the dive when Brookes launches a big boot right into Sawyer's face, taking them down! Brookes covers!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Rebecca looks annoyed and shoves Sam back down for another attempt.
Wright:: Not enough!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Wright:: Still no!
Rebecca grunts and pushes up to her knees. Sawyer quickly bridges up from their downed position to get away from Brookes and runs the ropes, bouncing off and leaping into the air, connecting with Rebecca's chest with a missile dropkick! Brookes staggers back, clutching at her midsection, and Sawyer keeps up the momentum. They run the ropes again and leap up for another dropkick, but Brookes has learned this time and pushes Sawyer away, knocking them to the ground. Quick to act, Brookes grabs Sawyer's head and drags them up, hoisting them up across her body and dropped her down on a knee with a sick backbreaker.
Wright:: Yeesh.
Park: I could almost here their vertebrae snap from here.
Sawyer is up to their feet and staggers into the corner, clutching at their arched back in pain. Brookes follows up with a shoulder charge into the corner, knocking Sawyer silly. Sawyer stumbles out of the corner in a daze and Brookes catches them with a jumping neckbreaker. Sawyer hits the mat and Brookes scrambles over for a cover.
ONE!
TWO!
T-- KICKOUT!
Brookes looks around wide-eyed and growing more frustrated by Sawyer's resilience.
Wright:: Brookes keeps trying to put Sawyer away early, but she's gonna need more than that to keep them down.
Sawyer starts to crawl away to get back up to their feet and Brookes decides enough is enough. She grabs them by the legs and wrenches the legs back, managing to lock in a cloverleaf! Sawyer groans and grits their teeth as Rebecca applies pressure to their legs.
Park: Despite being in a world of pain, Sawyer is holding it together well.
Wright:: But they have nowhere to go! Stranded in the middle of the ring!
Sam begins to crawl away underneath the legs of Rebecca Brookes, hoping to make it just an inch or two further, just a bit closer to the ropes. Brookes reacts by dropping down on their back, pushing their stomach down to the ground! Sawyer's face twists and contorts in pain, but they manage to rotate their hip just enough to relieve some of the pressure. However, it doesn't look like they're going anywhere with Brookes camped out on top of them.
Park: It's hard enough to break a hold like this, but doing it with someone sitting on top of you? Nearly--
Sawyer claws into the canvas and musters every last ounce of strength to drag themselves and Brookes just a few inches further towards the ropes.
Wright:: --impossible?
Brookes says enough is enough and stands up, dragging Sawyer back towards the middle of the ring. With one leg free, Sawyer manages to roll through, getting both legs on Rebecca's midsection. Brookes thinks fast and grabs the second leg, hoisting Sawyer up into position for a powerbomb... but Sawyer goes over the back of Brookes and down the back side, rolling Rebecca up in the process!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Park: Clever counter from Sawyer.
Brookes scrambles up and turns, hitting a high boot to the jaw of Sawyer for their troubles. Rebecca dashes to the ropes and bounces back, charging at Sawyer, but they manage to leap into the air with a last second leaping knee strike right to the face of Rebecca Brookes! Brookes stumbles back and steadies herself. Sawyer dashes to Brookes again. Brookes goes for a sweeping lariat, but Sawyer ducks underneath and turns to face Brookes. Brookes spins around and gets absolutely unceremoniously SLAPPED in the fucking mouth.
Park: GET FUCKED! Rebecca's gonna feel that one in the morning!
With Brookes stunned, Sawyer takes a few steps back and bounces off the ropes and then ABSOLUTELY LEVELS BROOKES WITH A RUNNING LARIAT!
Wright:: FIRE WITH FIRE!
Park: Double dose of pain for Brookes!
Rebecca hits the canvas and Sawyer is quick to capitalize.
ONE!
TWO!
THR--NO!
Rebecca flails and gets a shoulder up, keeping her hopes alive. Sawyer can't believe it.
Park: Many competitors wouldn't be conscious right now, let alone kicking out.
Wright:: I need an aspirin just watching those hits she took.
Sawyer's eyes drift to the corner where they stay for a moment. Sam gets to their feet and slowly climbs the corner, making sure to get their footing just right. Sam carefully turns around, closes their eyes briefly, and then--
Wright:: SAWWYEEERRSAAAUUULLLLT!!!
Sam nails a moonsault off the top rope, connecting with the downed Rebecca Brookes. Sawyer hesitates only briefly, deciding not to go for a cover but to put the final nail in the coffin of Brookes. They scramble up to the top rope again, steady themself, close their eyes, and--
Wright:: ANOTHER SAWYERSAU--
NO! Brookes gets the knees up! Sawyer connects, ribcage-first, and goes bouncing across the canvas.
Wright:: HOW!?
Park: It took every ounce of energy she had!
Both competitors are out on the canvas, Sawyer tending to some damaged ribs and Brookes catching her breath after that last burst of energy. The crowd begins clapping in rhythmic unison for the two competitors, just wanting to see more of the brawl. After a moment, both of them begin moving, only slightly at first. Sawyer drags themself up, clutching at their ribs. Brookes is on her knees in the corner, chest heaving up and down, slowly regaining her energy. Both of them get up to their feet, wobbling.
Park: They're completely gassed.
Wright:: But they've got a warrior's spirit, and that can do some incredible things, even when you're exhausted.
They stumble to the middle of the ring, squaring up with each other. Beleagured and tired, Sawyer hauls off and chops the life out of Rebecca's chest. The crowd pops, and Rebecca fires back with an elbow strike of her own. The crowd pops again as Sawyer grabs the back of Brookes's head and squares up a stiff forearm to the jaw. Rebecca staggers back and teeters on the brink, only to lean back into the momentum and headbutt Sawyer's face! Sawyer stumbles back themself, rocking back on their heels, and brings themself back full force with a headbut of their own. The pace picks up, chop from Brookes, forearm from Sawyer, then another palm strike from Sawyer, then a throat chop from Sawyer! The pace keeps accelerating with Sawyer working up to a machine-like speed, a flurry of blows raining down all over Brookes, who does her best to get a jab in where she can but is mostly forced to defend herself against the onslaught.
Park: This is where Sawyer's lifetime of training comes into play! They may be young, but they've been fighting since they were 14.
Feeling the energy, Sawyer strikes harder and harder, pushing Brookes back against the ropes. Sawyer presses against Brookes, then whips and sends her across the ring with an Irish whip! Brookes hits the ropes and rebounds, coming right back at Sawyer, who starts to get a knee in the air for a knee strike... BUT BROOKES COUNTERS THEM WITH A REBOUNDING SPEAR!
Wright:: The Climb Back!! Brookes is still in this!
Rebecca wastes no time in dragging up Sawyer, dropping an axe handle across their head. Sawyer's here but nobody's home as they swing wildly, blindly, trying to just grab hold of Brookes. Brookes spins around, now behind Sawyer, and chops them across the back of the neck. Sawyer keels over, grabbing at the back of their kneck, which Brookes wastes no time in following up with another club to the back of the head. Brookes moves in closer behind Sawyer, locking them up in a full nelson hold... BEFORE SUPLEXING THEM OVER!
Wright:: WATCH THE THRONE! THIS MIGHT BE IT!
Brookes bridges the suplex into a pin.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING!
Stanford: Here is your winner... Rebecca Brookes!
Brookes just collapses and releases the pin, every ounce of energy compeltely left on the mat.
Wright:: What a contest.
Park: Both Sawyer and Brookes came out here with something to prove.
Wright:: I'd say they proved it, alright.
Ace Sky is seated in a confessional interview promo setting. He has his jet-black hair with the sides shaven in a hippie man bun. His Texas drawl comes out when he gets excited when he talks. He is wearing a black t shirt with his trademark navy blue aviator jacket that is decorated in many accoutrements and badges of science and spiritual emblems, flags where he's been. He looks like a human passport to be honest.
Ace Sky: First off it is very important I explain this, I am neither a scientologist nor astrologist. Carl Sagan's quote put it best: “The desire to be connected with the cosmos reflects a profound reality, but we are connected; not in the trivial ways that astrology promises, but in the deepest ways.”
Ace Sky: Often people wonder what the difference between spirituality and religion is, I can explain spirituality is playing three-dimensional chess with the path to enlightenment while religion, especially organized religion is playing checkers. Religion is based on customs; my family is Jewish there's lots of customs there. You are not allowed to question god in religion. With spirituality you are encouraged to think for yourself and question everything.
Ace Sky: Alan Watts said, "unlearn every day". I live by that. There's a lot to unlearn, there are stereotypes about pro wrestling that just don't fit the mold anymore. Look at me.
He gestures to himself.
Ace Sky: THIS IS WHAT A PRO WRESTLER NOWADAYS LOOKS LIKE . I'm 5'8, 185 lbs, that bothers you? Because it's such a crime to use the ropes and the top rope to do Spiderman style stuff?
Ace Sky: I'm a black belt in Taekwondo, I have an amateur wrestling background and I've been a pro wrestler for 23 years, 28 years if you count my back yard wrestling experience. I've trained in the Japanese style for 17 years, you can chop my chest it won't even leave a mark at all!
Ace Sky: I hold a distinct advantage over everyone in this promotion. Physically, metally, experientially, spiritually even intellectually! I graduated high school at 11 years old.
Ace Sky: I am the interdimensional iconic iconoclast, the Galaxy Guru, so turn on your third eye and get ready for take off with Ace Sky!
Wright: Ace Sky, soaring into FIRESIDE!
Park: He's one of those everything types -- get excited!
Walter Stanford: The following contest is a Tables, Ladders and Hammers match for the FIRESIDE Tag Team Championships!
The fans go wild as the camera focuses on the championship belts hanging above the ring. Tables and upright ladders surround the ring. Two tables joined together at the bottom of the ramp have a collection of sledgehammers sitting on top of them.
Walter Stanford: Introducing the challengers, at a combined weight of 385 pounds, they are ANTHONY CAFFREY... MYOJIN... THE FIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRREEEEE STTTAAAAAAARRRRRRTTTEEERRRRRSSSSSSSSS!
The lights dim down while the catchy, fast paced rock of RAINBOWS by A9 echoes as a spotlight suddenly appears on a figure on the ramp, with their back turned and begins kneeling. Once the beat finally kicks in, MYOJIN explodes with energy- wearing a masquerade-style mask over their eyes, and turns around with a confident smile on their face, raising their arms to soak in the positive reaction from everyone around.
With their blonde locks hanging over their face. They then whip their head back, flipping their hair out of their face before excitedly running down the ring before performing a cartwheel and a jump, landing on their feet near ringside!
Wright: MYOJIN was actually supposed to be in the Wildfire Championship match before Caffrey chose them as his partner. But they've had the month to adjust and they look ready for this.
Park: I don't know about that. MYOJIN was pissed on Inferno. Who knows if their heart is really in it?
They climb up to the apron, grab a hold of the top rope, and slingshot themselves into the ring. MYOJIN performs a somersault roll, landing on their side with a hand on their hip. The other, taking off their mask to reveal their piercing blue eye contacts. They toss it aside nonchalantly before climbing up the top turnbuckle, tilting their head upward as if they’re looking toward the sky- while the lights mimic stars above. They backflip off, back onto their feet while taking off their flamboyant coat and moving to their corner. The lights go back to normal as they check their wrist tape. Their charismatic smile fading to a more focused expression as they pace back and forth, ready for action.
"My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark" hits the arena speakers and a loud pop from the crowd comes soon after. It only gets louder in the arena as the man himself passes through the curtain and holds his XHF Tag Team Championship up for the whole crowd to see. His look of pride indicates that these fans tonight are his people. His black and purple tights have a Purple Emperor on the back, a symbol representing the tag team of the same name.
Wright: Caffrey has been waiting for this for a long time. He finally gets to go to war with Kanyon, and he couldn't have picked a better partner.
Park: But MYOJIN doesn't care about Kanyon. I don't see how they're going to work together. Especially against a team as experienced as the champions.
Once Caffrey makes it down to the ring, giving his best version of a socially-distanced fist bump to as many fans as possible, his mood changes when he reaches the ring steps. He climbs in the ring and locks eyes with MYOJIN. He offers his fist to them and they respond with a quick cursory bump. MYOJIN is focused on the stage and what's to come, while Caffrey hands his glasses off to the timekeeper. Caffrey starts to look a little apprehensive as he talks to MYOJIN, trying to gauge their mood. MYOJIN only nods, not taking their eyes off the stage.
Walter Stanford: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 489 pounds, they are the FIRESIDE Tag Team Champions, CURTIS KANYON... EL COMBATIENTE... EEELLLLL BAAAAAANNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG HEERRRMAAAAAAAANNOOOOOOOOOSS!
A DJ Marshmello crafted mash up of The Game’s “One Blood” and Metallica's "Don't Tread on Me" plays over the PA as Curtis and El Combatiente emerge from the entryway. Curtis also has a sledgehammer over one shoulder. They look around soaking up there surrounding. Curtis hoists his hammer into the air. El Combatiente breaks into a full sprint for the ring and slides in. He stretches in the ring preparing for the match to begin as Curtis climbs a turnbuckle and points to the crowd with his hammer, then hoists it straight up into the air and yells "BANG!"
Wright: Earlier this month Kanyon's reign reached the one year mark. He has completely dominated the tag division this year, even winning the XHF Tag Championships.
Park: And El Combatiente has been a huge factor in that since he joined him in July.
Wright: Kanyon has been making Caffrey's life hell this year, mostly using tables and sledgehammers to do it. That might all end tonight.
Park: El Combatiente is all in with Kanyon on this though. Let's see if MYOJIN can say the same.
When Kanyon gets down from the turnbuckle, he joins El Combatiente and the two teams stare at each other as the bell rings. With Kanyon still holding the sledgehammer, Caffrey and MYOJIN quickly realise the danger and rush Kanyon, taking him off guard. Kanyon drops the hammer as the two of them pummel him with fists. El Combatiente runs over to break it up. MYOJIN turns to meet him and the two start trading quick punches. Combatiente cuts MYOJIN off with a European uppercut, then hits an arm drag. MYOJIN waits for Combatiente to start running then evades his clothesline with a backwards bridge. Combatiente keeps up speed and hits the ropes, bounces back and runs into a huge shoot kick to the waist.
Wright: The Firestarters are looking great! What were you saying?
Park: It's early.
Combatiente clutches his gut while Caffrey keeps Kanyon at bay in the corner with urgent stomps. MYOJIN delivers another roundhouse to the hip, then the back of his thigh, causing him to fall into a sitting position. They continue to kick Combatiente, alternating between his chest and his back, then run to the ropes. They bounce back with a penalty kick but Combatiente falls back to dodge it. He kicks MYOJIN's leg as he gets up then hits another European uppercut. He runs to the ropes as MYOJIN recovers. MYOJIN goes for a kick but Combatiente catches their boot. MYOJIN breaks free with a high-impact knife edge chop. MYOJIN takes a second to recover their balance and is almost hit in the face with a superkick. This time MYOJIN catches El Combatiente's boot. They whirl him around 360; Combatiente just barely managing to not fall over. MYOJIN jumps up and corkscrews, kicking the back of the stunned Combatiente's head with Love, from Osaka!
Wright: They got him! The Firestarters have a chance here!
With Caffrey still in control of Kanyon in the corner, MYOJIN yells at him to keep going and slides out of the ring. They grab a ladder, slide in the ring and quickly set it up.
Wright: Here we go!
Park: I don't believe it!
MYOJIN has only just started climbing when Kanyon manages to overpower Caffrey and stun him with a headbutt. He pushes past him to pull MYOJIN down and hits them with a powerful forearm. MYOJIN fires back with a series of shoot kicks, backing Kanyon up to the ropes. Kanyon struggles for breath as MYOJIN runs to the far ropes, then comes back with a rider kick to his face sending him over the ropes to the floor!
Wright: They sent him flying with one kick!
Park: Watch out!
MYOJIN turns around and is crushed by a ladder held by El Combatiente. MYOJIN looks to be knocked out on the mat. Combatiente sets the ladder up and starts to shoot up it but Caffrey grabs him, pulling him away with the Dreams and Nightmares full nelson. Combatiente flails around desperately but the hold is locked in tight. He starts to fade, but Caffrey notices Kanyon climb up onto the apron holding a sledgehammer.
Wright: Uh oh.
Park: What now, Caffrey?
Caffrey pushes Combatiente away then runs to Kanyon and takes his leg out with a baseball slide. Kanyon buckles but remains on the apron while the hammer falls to the floor outside. Caffrey climbs through the ropes and stomps Kanyon until he's lying on his back. He then picks up Kanyon's boot and hits a foot DDT on the apron!
Park: No!
Wright: He might have just taken Kanyon out of the match!
Caffrey gets back in the ring and sees the ladder in perfect position. Combatiente is struggling back to his feet, almost recovered from the full nelson. MYOJIN is still lying on the mat, conscious but badly hurt from the ladder shot. Caffrey looks from the ladder to MYOJIN, unsure what to do.
Wright: What's Caffrey thinking?!
Park: He doesn't know if he can trust them!
He starts to move towards Combatiente but Combatiente springs into action with a running forearm. He folds the ladder, then holds it up high and rams the top of it into Caffrey's head. After Caffrey falls Combatiente throws the ladder over the top rope.
Park: That's a man who knows what he's doing!
Combatiente looks wildly back and forth between Caffrey and MYOJIN, weighing up his options. MYOJIN has almost made it to their feet, so Combatiente grabs their head looking for Sliced Bread. MYOJIN pushes him away with force. When Combatiente turns around, MYOJIN makes a dive for his leg, circling him then holding him by his boot. They look like they're going for a dragon screw. Combatiente tries to counter with an enzuigiri but MYOJIN ducks. MYOJIN runs to the ropes, bounces back and ducks Combatiente's clothesline. They come back again and get their head taken off with a huge dropkick.
Wright: Beautiful dropkick!
Park: Let's go!
MYOJIN looks to be out cold. Combatiente looks up at the belts, then at Caffrey. Caffrey is on all fours, just starting to get up. Combatiente quickly jumps through the ropes to the apron and climbs the turnbuckle. He jumps off with a double stomp to Caffrey's back. After bouncing down to the mat, he immediately backflips to hit a moonsault.
Wright: Both Firestarters are down!
Combatiente yells at Kanyon to give him a ladder. Kanyon is still in severe pain from the foot DDT but already has a ladder in hand and promptly slides it under the rope. Combatiente sets it up and climbs it.
Wright: What a play! El BANG Hermanos!
Park: IT'S OVER!
MYOJIN starts to get up but Combatiente is inches away from the belts. MYOJIN makes a sudden dive into the ladder, knocking it over. Combatiente goes with it, before jumping off onto the ropes and bouncing onto the floor outside.
Park: How close can you get?!
Wright: It continues!
Kanyon folds up a table and brings it into the ring. He kicks MYOJIN hard in the gut then sets up the table. He puts MYOJIN's head between his legs, lifts them into the air and shatters the table with a stiff powerbomb! The edges of the table go flying off in either direction.
Wright: Powerbomb! There goes the first table!
Kanyon doesn't seem satisfied with that, as he lifts MYOJIN back to their feet. The Shining Star is unresponsive as Kanyon again puts their head between his legs. This time he hits a sitout piledriver, spiking MYOJIN's head into the mat.
Park: Kanyon wants to put MYOJIN to sleep!
Kanyon leaves the ring to get another table. Once back inside he leans it against the corner, near where Caffrey is lying. Kanyon backs up in the opposite corner.
Wright: We know what's coming now.
As soon as Caffrey is upright Kanyon starts running towards him, but Caffrey does the same and meets him head on with the bullhammer!
Wright: Closing Remarks! Kanyon is out!
Caffrey tries to lift the ladder leaning against the ropes but El Combatiente is waiting on the outside. He pulls Caffrey out of the ring, then grabs his head and throws him into the side of the ladder standing nearest them. The ladder goes tumbling to the ground but Combatiente quickly lies it flat. He grabs Caffrey's head and snap suplexes him onto the ladder! The crowd gasps as Caffrey yells in pain.
Wright: That looked like it hurt...
Park: No kidding.
In the ring, MYOJIN is back up. They grab the table in the corner, lift it above their head and with a running start throw it at El Combatiente! It sails high towards his head but he ducks just in time.
Wright: El Combatiente avoids death!
Not to be stopped, MYOJIN baseball slides their way out of the ring and gets into a frantic fist fight with Combatiente. MYOJIN goes for a spinning back fist but midway through Combatiente spears them into the apron. He grabs MYOJIN's head and hits a DDT on the floor. He rolls them back-first onto the bent ladder he suplexed Caffrey onto.
Wright: Oh no.
Park: Go, El Combatiente!
Combatiente gets on the apron then climbs to the top turnbuckle. He primes himself, then spins towards MYOJIN with the 630! Combatiente's back lands flat on the ladder!
Park: No!
Wright: That was sick.
Park: He just took himself out of the match...
With all four down, the crowd cheer and clap for The Firestarters. MYOJIN is the first to stir. They start to get up but as they do Kanyon slides out of the ring. Kanyon picks up speed then dives towards MYOJIN with the BANG! Kanyon connects with MYOJIN's side, taking them in the direction of the table they threw out. The other side of their body smacks into the folded table!
Wright/Park: BANG!
Kanyon looks at the sledgehammers laying on the two joined tables. He picks one up but lets it go when he hears the crowd cheering. The camera turns to see Caffrey on his feet, apparently having just kipped up.
Wright: Not so fast!
Caffrey hits Kanyon with a huge right. Kanyon responds with a sickening headbutt. The move sends Caffrey reeling, but he somehow picks himself up and hits Kanyon with another right. Then another, and another. Kanyon again responds with a headbutt. The crowd gasp as Caffrey seems to be badly hurt, but before long he makes a wild grab for Kanyon's waist and charges him into the table, sending it and the sledgehammers flying and both men roughly crashing to the floor.
Wright: They look like they want to kill each other!
Park: This is great!
Kanyon and Caffrey get to their feet as fast as they can. Kanyon is holding a sledgehammer and swings it at Caffrey's head. Caffrey ducks, grabs Kanyon in a waistlock and spears him into the barricade. He backs up, then runs straight at Kanyon. Kanyon kicks him in the gut.
Park: He was going for the Closing Remarks!
Kanyon bends over to pick up another hammer but once upright is met with a slap to the face. Caffrey slaps Kanyon over and over until he drops the hammer, then keeps going! When he stops the right side of Kanyon's face is bright red. He's still standing but looks numb to the world. Caffrey grabs the fallen table and sets it up. He tries to lay Kanyon on it but Kanyon suddenly wakes up and hits a third headbutt. He grabs Caffrey and takes him up onto the apron with him. Caffrey hits Kanyon with a right. Kanyon hits back with a fourth headbutt. Kanyon puts Caffrey in the Pedigree position, then hits the Canadian Destroyer through the table!
Wright: The World Breaker through the table!
Park: Holy hell.
All four wrestlers are down once again. Caffrey is completely knocked out. Kanyon is holding his head in pain, still hurt from the slaps and headbutts. MYOJIN and El Combatiente are awake but too hurt to move. As the three conscious wrestlers try to get up, the crowd cheer MYOJIN's name. Kanyon is the first to make it up, and starts to climb into the ring. MYOJIN forces themselves to get up with everything they have and is close behind.
Wright: MYOJIN will not give up!
Park: They want it! They really want it!
Kanyon takes the ladder leaning against the ropes and sets it up in the middle of the ring. He starts to climb as MYOJIN makes it into the ring. MYOJIN climbs the other side, and manages to do it faster with great effort. They reach the top at the same time. Kanyon reaches for the belts but is stopped with a punch. MYOJIN keeps punching but it has little effect. Kanyon eventually stops MYOJIN with a headbutt.
Wright: It's over!
Park: Take it Kanyon!
MYOJIN manages to withstand the blow and butts Kanyon with their own head! The crowd cheer as MYOJIN grimaces in pain. Kanyon starts to reach for the belts again, so MYOJIN hits another one!
Wright: MYOJIN!
MYOJIN quickly slides down the ladder and tries to push it over. As soon as it starts to move, Kanyon starts climbing down then hops onto the mat. MYOJIN hits him with a spinning back fist, then another. Kanyon falls to his knees, then MYOJIN spins around with a rolling savate kick, knocking him out!
Wright: Kiss and Tell!
MYOJIN starts slowly climbing the ladder.
Park: El Combatiente's on the apron!
El Combatiente springboards off the top rope onto MYOJIN's back, latching onto the ladder. He's higher up than MYOJIN, but instead of climbing he wraps his legs around their head and jumps backwards with a spiking poisonrana!
Wright: Head first!
Park: El Combatiente just saved the titles!
Combatiente lands cleanly but is still hurt from the 630. He struggles to climb the ladder. The crowd cheer as Caffrey slides under the bottom rope. He grabs Combatiente's ankle and locks in The Process! Combatiente is in agony but keeps climbing. Before he can make it to the belts, Caffrey lets go of his ankle to grab his leg and drag him down. Combatiente lands on the mat with one leg and Caffrey holding the other. Caffrey dragon screws him and tries to lock in The Process again.
Wright: He wants to break his ankle!
Park: He can't get it in!
Combatiente rolls onto his back and kicks Caffrey away. Caffrey goes backing into the ropes, and Combatiente tackle him through them onto the apron. Both men fall to the floor.
Park: What a move! He's cleared the path for Kanyon!
As Kanyon starts moving towards the ladder, Combatiente tries to restrain Caffrey. Caffrey manages to break free and shoves him into the barricade. He runs around the ring, picks up a sledgehammer and slides inside. As Kanyon starts to climb Caffrey swings the hammer into his back!
Park: No!
Wright: Payback!
Kanyon cries out in pain and falls to the mat. Combatiente comes back in and Caffrey runs at him with a clothesline. Combatiente ducks and hooks Caffrey's arms. He lifts him into the air then hits the Vertibreaker!
Wright: Street Justice!
Park: MYOJIN is up!
Combatiente starts to climb but MYOJIN quickly pulls him back down! When face-to-face, MYOJIN hooks their leg through Combatiente's leg.
Wright: Chōshinsei-Gatame!
MYOJIN is about to roll into the calf slicer, but before they can Combatiente shoves them down to the mat hard, then hits a double stomp! Combatiente starts climbing the ladder as fast as he can with all he's got.
Park: He's going to do it!
Combatiente reaches the belts and unhooks them. The bell rings.
Walter Stanford: Your winners, AND STIIILLLLLLLL TAG TEAM CHAMPIOOOOOONNNNNSSS, EEELLLLL BAAAAANNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG HEERRRMAAAAAAANNOOOOOOOOSS!
He raises the belts in the air, as MYOJIN slowly gets to their feet. Kanyon and Caffrey are still down.
Wright: The champions' epic reign continues! What an effort by all involved!
El Combatiente climbs down the ladder and together with a referee checks on Kanyon. He's unable to stand and has to be helped out of the ring.
Wright: El BANG! Hermanos have an iron grip on those titles. Love them or hate them they are one of the best tag teams in the world. They went through hell tonight.
Park: And The Firestarters. They surprised me. They brought it to the champions and were within an inch of winning. I hope we get to see them team together again.
Stanford: The following triple threat match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the FIRESIDE Spark Championship!
The crowd loudly cheers the action that is about to happen, the history between the three men who are about to compete adding an extra weight to the proceedings.
Stanford: Introducing first, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 215 pounds, he is...DOOOOOOOOOONZIIIIIIG!
The lights go down, and then come up an angry red. Flames explode from the eithr side of the ramp, jets and bursts of flame erupting into the air. Donzig walks from the back, wearing his skull mask with his hood up. He pauses, glaring out across the crowd before he shakes his head before walking down the ramp slowly. He circles around the ring, still watching the crowd before pausing to watch the announce team before he climbs the stairs. He stops at the ropes, reaching up to shove his hood back before stepping through the ropes. Then he takes off the mask, and shakes his head at the fans with a scowl before he leans back in his corner. Arms resting on the ropes while waiting for the match to start.
Wright: Donzig has been an interloper in the Spark Championship scene for far too long, and I for one hope he gets his comeuppance tonight.
Park: While his methods are far from honorable, there's no denying the results they've gotten. If I were Felix and Vodka Fizz, I'd be out to eliminate him from the equation as soon as possible.
Stanford: Next, from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 250 pounds, he is the Warrior... FEEEEELIIIIIIX!
The lights go out as Felix's music, The Pledge of the Demon, starts up... leaving the stage completely black. As his music picks up a spotlight shines down onto Felix, who is facing away from the ring so the camera can focus on the intricate tattoo of a wolf in the Oriental style emblazed across his back.He turns as the camera moves back, a string of Buddist Mala Beads around his neck, his eyes focusing on the ring as spotlights roam over the crowd--
Wright: LOOK OUT!
--before a clubbing blow from behind knocks Felix to the ground! Venomous boos flood the air as Felix's music is cut off, a group of Donzig's henchmen surrounding the NLW competitor as they beat him down. In the middle of the ring, the mastermind behind the attack can be seen shouting encouragement, the boos growing louder in response.
Wright: This is disgusting! Donzig should be ashamed of himself!
Park: You're worried about what's going on out here, but I can't help but wonder if the same thing isn't happening to our Spark champion backstage!
As trainers and security finally get Donzig's men off of Felix, Donzig can be seen smirking evilly as Stanford announces his final opponent--
Stanford: And now, from Daytona Beach, Florida, weighing in at 220 pounds, he is the reigning FIRESIDE Spark Champion... VOOOOOODKAAAAA FIIIIIIIIIZZ!
--right up until Vodka Fizz comes hurtling out from behind the curtain on his signature golf cart, literally using his vehicle as a weapon to clear his path to ringside! There's some damage done to the speakers on it, but Vodka doesn't seem to care as he slams on the brakes, hat and sunglasses flung aside and his jacket ripped off as he exits his battered and beaten ride, the Spark Championship removed with hasty care before Vodka shoves it into the timekeeper's hands, his expression one of well-earned rage.
Wright: I have never seen Vodka Fizz this incensed!
Park: Me neither, but it looks like that might be playing into Donzig's hands!
The bell rings as the champion charges into the ring, then right at Donzig as Felix is carted off by trainers and medical staff. Donzig was expecting this--maybe even inviting it--and catches the champion with a jumping knee that sends Vodka reeling. Donzig nails several stiff punches to push Vodka to the ropes, but Vodka reverses the Irish Whip. Donzig attempts a Lou Thesz press, but Vodka side steps at the last moment to catch him with a nasty looking Crescent Kick. Donzig falls in a heap, but scrambles to get back up. Vodka peppers him with low roundhouse kicks while he's getting up, but when Fizz backs into the ropes for lariat momentum, Donzig hits him with the Lou Thesz press he wanted earlier and starts blasting him with as many mounted punches as Melanie Davenport will let him have. Melanie looks on, not appreciating what she's seeing, but she does not interfere. Eventually Vodka manages to shoves Donzig off and rolls toward the ropes as the challenger stands up, arms wide and arrogance radiating off of him. Boos resonate throughout the arena as Donzig looks down at his handiwork.
Wright: Is Donzig capable of wrestling a clean match?!
Park: I'm not sure, but I don't think he cares. All he cares about are the results!
Donzig pursues Fizz into the ropes, despite the official's protestations. (After all, she can't disqualify Donzig, but it's her job to make sure Vodka can still fight.) But the champ spots an opening and whips around behind Donzig, pulling him down in a School Boy roll-up!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Donzig pushes himself out of the roll-up.
He rolls himself upright, eyes wide with anger, but as he charges Vodka to punish him for his insolence, he gets blasted by a lariat instead! Vodka falls on Donzig, who rolls over and turtles to prevent him from being able to grab any limbs for any submissions, but Vodka just shrugs before jumping up and hitting a standing senton on Donzig's back. Donzig's back arches and Vodka grabs for an arm, but Donzig scrambles towards the ropes. Again, no rope breaks, but he can't lose if he's outside the ring. He gets to the ropes before Vodka can lock in anything, so Vodka lets him go, pushing himself up slowly and feeling at his face to see if he's bleeding.
Wright: I thought Vodka would be able to feel his face now that he's given up drinking, but Donzig might have him feeling punchdrunk!
Park: I think it's more likely that he's checking to see if he's busted open.
He is. But very slightly. Vodka waits as Donzig pulls himself up. He knows Donzig wouldn't let him get out, so he charges in, throwing a roundhouse kick. Donzig was watching for it and ducks back, but when he comes forward to capitalize, Vodka spins around and throws a spinning wheel kick that blasts him over the top rope and down to ringside! The crowd cheers as Vodka takes a second to nurse the laceration on his forehead.
Wright: Stay on him! Don't give Donzig a moment to breathe!
Park: You don't need to tell him that twice! As much as these two have faced off, they're both very familiar with how the other ticks by now, I'm sure.
Not content to let Donzig rest, Vodka follows him out of the ring. Donzig is pulling himself up on the barricade, so Vodka goes for a charging knee, but he only hits the barricade as Donzig dives out of the way. And as he's clutching his knee, Donzig swoops in, grabs Vodka's arm, and whips him with all his might into the ring steps, which dislodge with the impact of Vodka's shoulder. More boos rain down as Donzig stalks the champion. He stands over him on the ring steps before grabbing Vodka's head, hooking him and dropping him in a DDT on the bottom half of the ring steps! Vodka's head doesn't travel as far as a full DDT....but it is still a DDT onto steel, and the tiny laceration is now less tiny. While Vodka's reeling, Donzig lifts him up and shoves him into the ring. He then climbs up to the apron, but goes to the top rope instead of in the ring. Vodka is still stunned, so Donzig leaps off the turnbuckle and drops a big elbow drop across his neck and throat, earning more hatred from the FIRESIDE fans. He goes for his first pin attempt.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...TH--Vodka rolls his shoulder up, and the crowd cheers.
Wright: Donzig's got to be frustrated, but Vodka Fizz is called the heart of FIRESIDE for a reason!
Park: He very well may be, but hearts can break--and Donzig's not above using every dirty trick in the book to get the job done!
Donzig runs a hand over his forehead before standing up. Vodka is starting to stir and is pulling himself toward a corner to help pull himself up, but Donzig has a better idea. After stomping him a couple of times, Donzig starts lifting him up. Vodka throws a few punches to try and fend Donzig off, but Donzig sandwiches him into the buckles with a series of elbow smashes. Then he lifts Vodka up to the top rope and the murmurs start as Donzig starts climbing up after him. Donzig starts trying to hook Vodka for a superplex or similar move, but for some reason, the crowd starts cheering? Vodka clings to the top rope as Donzig tries to lift him, and the two men fight back and forth, Vodka hitting body blows under Donzig's left arm and Donzig clubbing Vodka in the back. After about ten seconds, the cheers grow louder...
Wright: What's going on--
Park: No way!
A wounded but still proud Felix has come back out to finish the fight! Vodka lands one more body blow that forces Donzig down, and about half a second after he lands on his feet, knees jolting as he lands, Felix grabs him around the neck and whips him over in the Saka Otoshi throw! The crowd cheers as Felix attempts to lock in a rear naked choke, but then Vodka comes flying off the top rope in a cannonball senton to crush both! Felix recoils violently, still feeling the effects of the pre-match assault, which leaves Donzig below for a pin attempt.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR--Donzig kicks out! So Vodka tries to put Felix out of his misery.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR--Felix kicks out also! Vodka rolls his eyes, but otherwise keeps his composure as he starts pushing himself up.
Wright: While I can appreciate his valor, Felix should have probably let discretion guide him tonight!
Park: If the Harrisburg native can keep the adrenaline going, he may just have a shot here!
The three men are all pushing themselves up slowly, and after about ten seconds, the three of them are all upright and staring each other down in a Mexican standoff. Donzig sneers at both while Felix glares at him. Vodka would normally side with Felix, but he also has a title to consider, so he's not inclined to show favoritism so easily. But the heat between Felix and Donzig goes back further than this match, so it's no surprise when the two clash. Donzig starts off with the advantage, but after a few haymakers, Felix's face screws up in anger, and he starts lashing out with Tiger Palms in retaliation. After a few seconds, Felix starts pushing Donzig back, now combining the Tiger strikes with knife-edge chops, using the follow-through of one to wind up for the other. Just before he would be up against the ropes, Donzig jukes past Felix to run the ropes, but he gets caught with a bicycle knee kick!
Wright: That's got to be satisfying! As much as Donzig has meddled, Felix has given him a measure of karma tonight!
Park: But Donzig's not the only foe Felix has to worry about!
Donzig collapses like a sack of potatoes, but Felix also drops to one knee afterwards, the pre-match beating catching up to him. Before he can capitalize, he feels himself being pulled up in a double chickenwing as Vodka is trying to turn him over for the Mind Eraser! Felix tenses up as he struggles, trying to block Vodka's take on the Unprettier, but he doesn't have enough left after the beatdown, and Vodka drops him in the middle of the ring. Vodka rolls him over onto his back to pin him before Donzig can recover from the Uchi-sute.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE! The bell rings as Vodka quickly spins into a three-quarter stance, as though to pounce if Donzig tries any funny business.
Stanford: Here is your winner and STILL the FIRESIDE Spark Champion....VODKA FIZZ!
Wright: This match was pure chaos at points, but Vodka Fizz has survived to fight another day!
Park: Arguably, the bad blood between Felix and Donzig cost them both the win tonight, bringing Vodka within striking distance of cashing in on an opportunity at the FIRESIDE World Championship... but will he cash in if Natalie Burrows retains?
Walter Stanford is in the ring, and the crowd cheers for him.
Stanford: Ladies and gentlemen! The following contest is tonight’s second main event, and is for the FIRESIDE World Championship!
The crowd roars.
Stanford: Introducing the challenger, From Alsace-Lorraine, France, and weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds, she is…. AAAAAPAAAAATHYYYYY!!!!
"I love you...now die"
The haunting distorted voice of SKYND fills the arena, red smoke billowing up from the stage as the lights go down, bathing the arena in a sea of red. Apathy emerges at the top of the ramp, rising from under it arms stretched out wide on either side. Her head tilted back looking up at the single red light beaming down on her, basking in the glow. As the bass kicks in she drops her arms and raises her head on time with the beat and makes her way to the ring.
Wright: Apathy has been on a tear lately, and she has been vocal in her dislike of our current world champion.
Park: Not to mention, this is what she says is her last hurrah, and what better way to go out than on top?
Apathy reaches the ring, and her music dies.
Stanford: And her opponent! From Durham, North Carolina, and weighing in at one hundred and sixty-five pounds, she is the reigning FIRESIDE World Champion, NAAATAAALIE BURROWS!!!!
I can finally breathe again.
The distorted opening lyrics of 'Breathe Again' plays as the overhead lights dim, the sequence of notes following it triggering coral-colored lights to pulse in time... and when the guitars and drums combine to form an explosion of noise? Every light in the arena as well as the tron goes blinding white--and when it fades back to normal a few seconds later? Natalie Burrows is standing at the top of the ramp, the crowd cheering for the Southern Belle as she looks out over the fans with the FIRESIDE World Championship around her waist. A nod of acknowledgement is given. As video footage plays of some of her hardest-hitting moments in the ring, Natalie makes her way down to the ring, slapping the hands of the fans here and there, but her focus is on the ring. Speeding up at the bottom of the ramp, the Southern Belle slides into the ring, rolling onto her back before kipping up to her feet. The nearest turnbuckle is mounted as she looks out over the crowd, removing the title and holding it aloft with one hand to evoke more cheers. She lingers there for a few moments before hopping down, turning the FIRESIDE World Championship over to a P.A. before doing a couple stretches to prepare for the match at hand.
Wright: Natalie Burrows has been a force to be reckoned with since her arrival in FIRESIDE.
Park: She beat MAJESTY. That’s nothing to sneeze at.
Wright: This should be a great contender for match of the night.
Park: I will definitely agree with that.
As soon as the referee rings the bell, Apathy gets in Burrows face. The two women exchange tense words, and Apathy slaps Burrows in the face. Burrows looks shocked for an instant, but comes back with a teeth-shivering slap of her own.
Wright: Natalie Burrows responds to a blatant show of disrespect with one of her own!
Park: No love lost between these two, Ollie.
Apathy locks up a collar-and-elbow with Burrows and bodily hurls her into the corner. The challenger comes in after the champion and nails a shotgun dropkick, following up with an attempt at the Death Before Dishonor, but Burrows hooks her legs and takes her to the mat with a double-leg takedown.
Park: Apathy looking to put the champ away early.
Wright: She’s sure to understand soon why Burrows is the world champion, though,
Both women are quick to their feet and they run the ropes. Burrows ducks a clothesline from Apathy, then comes back with one of her own, knocking the other woman out of the ring. Apathy glares at Burrows, who simply calls for her to come back into the ring, going so far as to offer to hold the ropes. Apathy snarls and dives back into the ring. She throws several clumsy blows at Burrows, who ducks them, and the champion hooks up the challenger in a headlock, turning it into a headlock takeover.
Wright: Nice move from the champ!
Park: Same as Apathy, though, Burrows has to know that she can’t take it too easy on Apathy. This is a woman who has consistently proven to be a stumbling block for numerous superstars.
Burrows holds the headlock, and Apathy rolls her over for a pin attempt.
ONE!
TWO!!
Kickout!!!
Wright: Burrows releases the headlock to kickout!
Park: Like I said, Apathy is not a force to be taken lightly.
Wright: Miss Borrows has proven so far to be a capable champion, but if there’s one person on the roster that could derail her, it would likely be Elizabether Deveraux-O’Rourke.
Burrows and Apathy break apart and run to the corners. Apathy flips over the top to run the apron. Burrows catches her with a running knee strike then hooks her up for a vertical suplex. Apathy is up, but she lands on her feet and she shoves Burrows into the ropes, catching the champion in a spinning power slam!
Wright: A brutal power slam to the champion!
Park: I would hazard a guess that that didn’t feel very good.
Apathy goes for the pin!
ONE!
Kickout!!
Wright: Kickout with authority from the FIRESIDE Champion!
Park: Burrows still has a lot of gas left in the tank.
Burrows plants her feet on Apathy’s chest and kicks her away. Both women are quick to their feet. It looks like Apathy is a little quicker, but Burrows catches her and nails a snapmare driver. Burrows goes for the pinfall!
ONE!
TWO!!
THR-Kickout!!
Wright: Close two for the champion!
Park: These two are really laying it all out so far. But I wonder how long they can keep this pace up?
Burrows hauls Apathy to her feet, but Apathy counters with a jawbreaker. She whips the champion into the ropes, racing after her and clotheslining Burrows out of the ring. Burrows lands on her feet. Apathy goes for a baseball slide, but Burrows catches Apathy, powerbombing her to the floor.
Wright: My god!
Park: That’s got to be in my top five favorite counters of 2022.
Burrows hauls Apathy up off the floor and tosses her into the ring, following her in and going for a pinfall!
ONE!
Kickout!!!
Park: Kickout from the challenger!
Apathy rolls Burrows into a small package for another pinfall attempt!
ONE!
TWO!!
Kickout!!
Wright: …And Apathy takes advantage of Burrows positioning to get a two count!
Park: The champ can;t make mistakes like that if she wants to keep her belt.
Burrows is the first to her feet, but Apathy isn’t far behind and lunges at her for a football tackle. Burrows counters with a hip toss into an Indian Deathlock! Apathy cries out in pain, struggling to do something to escape, but it looks like she may be trapped!
Wright: Apathy may have no choice but to tap!
Park: Burrows is taking advantage of that bad knee to take a step from Apathy. Great ring psychology from the champ.
Wright: Too right, UnJoo.
The referee is watching Apathy as she tries to fight her way free. It looks like the challenger is fading, but somehow she rallies and manages to get a hand under the ropes. The referee calls for the break, which Burrows acquiesces to immediately. No sooner does she break the hold, though, does she drag Apathy back to the center of the ring and try to hook in the Indian Deathlock again. This time Apathy has it scouted and she counters into a pin attempt that Burrows kicks out of before the referee can start the count.
Wright: Another pinfall attempt from Apathy, but this one dies before it even had a chance to live.
Park: Apathy needs to keep up the pressure.
Burrows kips up to her feet, only to be caught by Apathy with a brutal clothesline. Apathy hauls Burrows up off the mat by the waist and hits a release german suplex, hurling the champion into the corner and follows it up with a running dropkick. Apathy hauls Burrows to her feet and lifts her onto the top turnbuckle, setting up for a super vertical suplex, but Burrows twists and lands on her feet, countering with a delayed vertical suplex.
Wright: What a counter!
Park: Really nice move from the Southern Belle.
Rather than go for the pin, Burrows pulls Apathy up into a sitting position, hitting a series of stiff kicks to the challenger’s back. She finally lets Apathy drop to the mat, running to the ropes and springboarding off for a leg drop, but Apathy rolls out of the way. Burrows crashes to the mat and knocks the wind out of herself.
Wright: Burrows got the worst of that one.
Park: Apathy had that pretty well scouted.
Apathy is first to her feet, crouching in the corner while Burrows writhes on the mat. Burrows eventually gets back to her feet, just in time to be blasted by a running clothesline from Apathy. The challenger hauls her up, whips her into the ropes and hits another clothesline, then follows up with a third.
Wright: Apathy keeping up the pressure on the champion.
Park: If she keeps this up, then Apathy is going to leave tonight as the new World Champion.
Burrows uses the ropes to pull herself back to her feet, trying to shake off the cobwebs. Apathy uses the ropes to hit a springboard cutter for a pinfall attempt!
ONE!
TWO!!
THRE- Kickout!!
Apathy rolls away from Burrows, a wide smirk appearing on her face as she waits for the champion to start to get to her feet. Burrows has only made it to her hands and knees before Apathy devastates her with a scissors kick!
Wright: Closure from Apathy to Burrows!
Park: Apathy is looking to add insult to injury by beating the champ with her own move!
Before Apathy can take advantage, Burrows rolls out of the ring, barely managing to stay on her feet outside the ring. Apathy hits a suicide dive on Burrows on the outside. She then goes for a suplex into the ring apron, but Burrows reverses it into a suplex of her own, dropping Apathy across the crowd barrier and into the crowd. Burrows pulls her out of the crowd and tosses her into the ring. Apathy fights her way back to her feet. Burrows goes for the Closure, but Apathy has the sense to drop down to escape. Apathy comes off the ropes and ionto a sharp kick to the abdomen, and this time Burrows nails the Closure.
Wright: …And Burrows comes back with a devastating Closure of her own!
The champion goes for the pinfall!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE-NO!!! Kickout!!
Park: Apathy digs deep to kick out at the last possible instant!
Wright: These two women aren’t letting up!
Burrows looks surprised, then a shadow of a grin appears on her face. She pulls Apathy up and Apathy is out of her feet. Burrows throws Apathy into the corner, charging in after her with a clothesline that almost knocks Apathy out of the ring. Burrows lifts Apathy up onto the top rope, setting up a reverse avalanche suplex. It looks like the champion is going to get all of it, but Apathy manages to land on her feet, and grabs Burrows into a fireman’s carry. Burrows struggles free and bounds off the rope for a springboard elbow, but Apathy catches her in the fireman’s carry position again and nails a DQD!
Wright: Dynast-Queen Driver!
Park: Looks like the last thing that went through Burrow’s mind is Apathy’s knee.
Apathy considers going for the pin, but picks Burrows up, setting up the Death Before Dishonor! Burrows looks to be out of it, and Apathy gets all of it!
Wright: And Apathy with an exclamation point!
Park: Looks like we have a new champion!
Apathy goes for the pin, a wide grin on her face in anticipation of winning the FIRESIDE World Championship.
ONE!
TWO!!
THRE-Kickout!!
Wright: Burrows kicks out!
Park: Apathy has to be furious!
Apathy looks stunned. But she goes for the pin again.
ONE!
TWO!!
TH-Kickout!!
Wright: Apathy tries again with the same result!
Park: Seems like the challenger is getting desperate!
Apathy slams her hands on the mat, shouting at the referee that he’s counting to slow. She hauls the champion up to her feet, setting up for another Death Before Dishonor, but Burrows plants her feet and shoves the challenger into the ropes, catching Apathy with Hitting Bottom!
Wright: And the champion counters with a brutal Hitting Bottom!
Park: That Rydeen Bomb has won a lot of matches! And after these two have fought a war it just might be enough to end this match!
Burrows goes for a pinfall attempt!
ONE!
TWO!!
THRE-Kickout!
Burrows looks amazed that Apathy has survived, but there is a measure of excitement in the air as she crouches near the ropes, waiting for Apathy to get to her feet. Apathy struggles, but only manages to find her feet in time to get nailed with the Closure!
Wright: Another Closure from Burrows!
Park: But it looks like Apathy is still kicking!
Burrows hesitates before going for the pin as Apathy struggles to get back to her feet, screaming at nothing. Apathy only manages to get to her hands and knees before Burrows catches her with another brutal Closure!
Wright: And that HAS to be it!
Burrows goes for the pinfall! The crowd counts along with the referee!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
Wright: Natalie Burrows has overcome Apathy to retain the FIRESIDE world championship!
Park: Neither one of these two can be disappointed in their performance tonight. They fought an absolute war tonight, and I think I speak for everyone when I say that I hope we get a chance to see it again.
The referee raises Burrows hand in victory to a thunderous reaction from the fans, and Burrows climbs the turnbuckle to hold the Fireside championship over her head.
Stanford: The winner of this match by pinfall, and STILL the FIRESIDE World Champion..... NATALIE BURROWS!!!!
The crowd celebrates with the champion while she hugs the belt to her chest. Apathy stares angrily at the Southern Belle from the corner, where she is seated against the turnbuckle looking miserable. Burrows jumps down off the turnbuckle and offers a hand to the challenger, who glares at her for a moment before rolling out of the ring and stalking up the ramp.
Wright: What an ending to 2021!
Park: See you in 2022!
In 2022, we hope to keep putting out amazing shows and riding high, but we’re going to need your help. Please consider reaching out to us and asking how you can help -- we could always use writers and occasionally need judges to help break ties. Thank you to all of the guest writers on this show, including but not limited to Sam, Reck, Dresden, and Mav. As you’ll see tonight, the more help we get, the better our shows are, and the more ambitious and satisfying stories you end up taking part in. Thanks again to all of our guests for the past year for jumping in and pitching a hand (too many to list but you are all very much appreciated).
Lastly, a health update -- as some of you might know, I (Caff) got diagnosed with COVID last Thursday (been sick since December 27th, thanks family for getting me sick). I am mostly okay now -- I was fully vaccinated but not boosted (was going to get boosted, I swear). The symptoms of Omicron generally suck (the chest pain is the worst) and I have a few more days of sleep to clear up everything with rest. Point being; get vaccinated, get boosted, and get tested, because if you have symptoms it’s probably COVID. We’ll be putting out another kickass show in January, so even as we might have to spend some time inside out of precaution, we’ll keep right on entertaining you as we’ve always done.
Thanks again for everything, and Happy New Year.
Team FIRESIDE
Team FIRESIDE
Opens on two teenagers, a boy and a girl, doing homework in the living room.
Lisa: Thanks for helping me out with this geometry homework, Billy. This stuff is like a foreign language!
Billy: No problem. I just like getting to hang out with...
Lisa checks her watch and slams her textbook closed.
Lisa: Oh darn! It's 6:00, I gotta meet Rick.
Billy sighs, then puts his pencil down.
Billy: You sure? Can't you meet him later?
Lisa: (collecting her things) I can't. He gets real mad if I'm late.
Billy: Aw, why do you hang out with a jerk like that? He's not even nice to you.
Lisa: I don't know? Just something about him. He's cool, and he doesn't play by the rules, and when I'm around him. I dunno, I feel cool too. I don't know what it is.
Evan Valentine Jr.: He's a heel.
Lisa and Billy: (together) Rightful X Crown Champion Evan Valentine Jr???
Evan Valentine Jr.: (chews gum) I appreciate you. Billy, no one wants some lame that knows geometerey.
Billy: Geometry.
Evan Valentine: (to Lisa) I hate this fool already it's like...you just wanna smack him but you know he'd hurt your ears crying.
Lisa: I know...
Evan Valentine Jr.: Here, dork.
Billy: Heel Gum?
Evan Valentine Jr.: That's right, Heel Gum is the only gum guaranteed to make you look like the cocky, self confident playa that women will ruin their credit over and have a kid named Damon with. It comes in sour apple, pina colada, and Monster Energy Drink flavors.
Billy: What's it got in it?
Evan Valentine Jr.: (to Lisa) For real, I cannot stand this dude. (to Billy) Who knows what's in gum? Just put it in your mouth and hope for the best, damn!
Billy starts chewing Heel Gum, and a clock wipe transition gives him stubble, sunglasses, wet hair and an all black leather outfit.
Billy: Sup?
Lisa: Billy...?
Billy: It's William now, and I don't owe you an explanation. I don't owe any of you a goddamn thing!
Lisa: Wow, Billy. You're so mean and selfish. I've never seen you this way....
Evan Valentine Jr.: (sees Lisa's phone buzzing) Yo, someone named Rick is calling?
Lisa: Who?
William: Exactly. Now let's bounce out of this dump and go make fun of guys who hold signs on the overpass.
Lisa: (in love) Oh, William. Can I buy you some turntables?
DJ Willy Wonka: (dismissively) I guess.
Lisa cuddles to William's side as he walks away, running his hands through his drenched hair.
Evan Valentine Jr.: Psst, that's what I'm talkin bout! Go on now, ya big ole pimp! Heel Gum. It's like 80% of the gimmick, baby.
Heel Gum, a subsidiary of JonTech
Stanford: The following match is tonight’s opening contest and is scheduled for One Fall, and it is for the X-Crown Championship!
Wright: Whoah, we’re starting with this?
Park: Gotta do things big to end the year!
Wright: Well, here it is! Home of the X-Crown since May, FIRESIDE is thrilled and honored to be presenting another X-Crown match.
Park: Vodka Fizz came up just short in End of Days, but ended up earning a one-on-one with the X-Crown champion anyway!
The crowd launches to their feet!
Stanford: Introducing first… weighing 175 pounds, from Los Angeles, California, he is the ‘Self-Made God’, he is MISSSSSSSSSSHAAAAAAAAA CONSSSSSSSSTANTTTTTTINEEEE!
The arena lights cut out. A ring of fire ignites at the head of the entrance way, in the middle of which rises a figure in golden armour tarnished and warped by immense heat:
"Let's take a good look at you."
'Swallowing The Rabbit Whole' kicks in, the crowd booing vociferously as the Self-Made God Misha Constantine begins to walk to the ring. If he has any reaction to their scorn, the golden mask upon his face hides it.
Wright: The Self-Made God, the first FIRESIDE World Champion, back in the spotlight after stealing the Ignition contract from Lucas Nix and signing away for this match.
Park: Always a brilliant tactician, Constantine constantly thinks one step ahead of everyone, and then has the high-flying athleticism when brains have to turn to brawn.
Nowhere to run...
Only one way down...
Nowhere to go...
Misha walks up the ring steps and enters between the ropes, moving to the middle of the ring. He hits hidden catches in the armour, letting it fall away to stand there in his ring gear.
THINNERS OF THE HERD!!!
Misha raises his arms and gives the crowd two middle fingers; turning slowly to allow everyone a good view of both.
Wright: 2021 has been up-and-down for Constantine, strong performances throughout, including that X-Crown title win that brought FIRESIDE the title back in May… can he close the year back on top?
Park: Standing in his way is going to be a hell of a challenge.
Stanford: And his opponent…
The booing in the Hearth has just gone up another level. The news has gotten around.
Stanford: …weighing in at 240 pounds, from Belfast, Ireland, the Godfather of Xtreme, SPIKEEEEEEEEEE KAAAAAAAAAAAANEEEEEEEEEE!
The lights go out as the beginning of "Bow Down" by I Prevail plays through the PA system, as a circle of flames erupts on the stage. Through the flames, slowly emerges Spike Kane as he fully emerges, the song kicks in.
Wright: Word has definitely gotten out, Spike Kane’s last match in FIRESIDE is apparently in front of a hostile crowd!
Park: The man has made a helluva year doing exactly what he says he says he’ll do, and now it’s taking the X-Crown championship on the road, maybe to another company like GUNS…
Wright: …whatever the case, his road back through hell has been a brutal and efficient one. After coming in to screw Dylan Black out of the Battle of the Best, he took the Crown off of that move’s benefactor, Evan Valentine Jr., and has held the title ever since, including a big defense at End of Days.
"GET ON YOUR KNEES AND BOW DOWN!!!"
Spike steps through the flames and heads to the ring, taking off his jacket as he prepares for a fight. There is a large adhesive bandage on his forehead, blocking the handful of stitches his forehead needed after Oh Violent Night.
Wright: That bandage is looking like a giant glowing weakspot. How will this play into his defense?
Park: It was a hellacious stomp he took right on the steel courtesy of Mr. Black, will he regret the extracurriculars? Time will tell. There’s the bell, the Self-Made God vs. the Godfather of Xtreme for the X-Crown Championship. Here we go!
The bell rings and the immense amount of discontentment can be felt throughout the Hearth. The booing is extra loud as the fans have to choose between a man leaving their company and a man who’s never wanted their support. The crowd stays on their feet as the two men circle each other in the ring, the champion wanting to utilize his technical side and his power while the challenger looks to use his speed and striking prowess. Both combatants swing kicks toward one another, neither manages to connect. The champion manages to put an end to the opening stalemate by getting his hands on the challenger, pulling him into a side headlock, though he quickly has to pull back to avoid getting clocked in the face by the elusive challenger contorting his body and sending a boot mere inches from his chin!
Both men return to a standing position, each one giving the other a look up and down, measuring their opponent with a look of respect before returning to a grapple. This time the challenger manages to get lower and to push the opposition back into a corner. He quickly bounces off the second rope and tries to fire off a spin kick, but the champion ducks underneath.
Wright: Ooh, the Undyne’s Spear just misses. If Misha hit that that early, it might be a short night!
Park: Both wrestlers know the others’ strengths and weaknesses and did their homework, as evidenced by how fast Spike got out of the way of that!
As the Self-Made God lands back on his feet, the Godfather of Xtreme unloads a wicked clothesline, sending them over the ropes and crashing down to the floor below! Referee Melanie Davenport begins her ten count as the crowd boos.
Wright: BAM! That’s one way to counter the high-flying action!
Park: Will the champ follow-up on the outside or wait the challenger out in the ring? The way Constantine’s head hit the floor there, it could be a bad sign early!
…ONE!
…TWO!
The way Constantine is grabbing his head on the outside indicates that the bump to the floor was definitely a little harder than he would have liked. He doesn’t have too much time to recover though, as Spike Kane already has grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him up to the announce table. Constantine tries to shake out of Kane’s grasp but Kane takes him by the back of the head and slams it into the table. He does it again with an added air of viciousnesss.
…THREE!
…FOUR!
Wright: Look at the fierce look in Kane’s eyes as he slams Constantine’s skull off our desk!
Park: This out here is his element -- Constantine would be smart to get himself back in the ring as soon as possible!
A crawling Constantine can’t quite put enough distance between himself and Spike Kane as the X-Crown champion grabs his contender by the foot and begins to drag him towards the steel steps! He places Constantine’s ankle on the steps and takes a few steps backward, preparing to shatter the bone!
…FIVE!
Wright: If he gets this stomp, you may as well stick a fork in Misha!
Park: The FIRESIDE team in the back has to be getting nervous!
Spike Kane lifts his leg… only to be kicked directly in the sternum! He recoils back as Misha uses the steps to press himself up, leaping into position to send Kane crashing into the steps with a hurricanrana!
…SIX!
Wright: Big counter from the challenger!
Park: He really needed that, and Kane’s knees didn’t need that meeting with the steel!
Wright: He was one of the many men who couldn’t walk out of that Violent Night main event, who knows what condition his legs are in?
…SEVEN!
The champion remains down as the crowd is split in its booing! Constantine wisely ducks back into the ring, buying himself a few moments to recover. The camera captures a black eye, courtesy of the headdesking he was forced to do earlier.
Wright: Look at that shiner!
Park: A black eye left on the FIRESIDE veteran from Kane, who is still down on the outside!
…EIGHT!
As Kane is slow to get up, we start to get a better picture of what’s left of his physical conditions after a brutal week. He does seem to know where he is in getting up, but surprisingly, he still takes his time to rise to his feet, using the barricade to support himself. He yells at a fan flipping him the finger as he sets himself against the divider.
…NINE!
Wright: We’re at nine and the champion is still on the outside of the ring!
Park: He doesn’t need to get back in if he doesn’t want to! The champ only loses the Crown on a pinfall or a submission, and he can just rest up and take a rematch!
Wright: It looks like Constantine has something to say -- or do about it!
Misha Constantine knows what’s up and gets a full head of speed, leaping out through the middle rope and connecting with a tope suicida to Kane’s back, sending the champion up and over the barricade! The crowd reacts as both men are down on the outside!
…ONE!
Wright: Tope suicida! Both men are down after Constantine takes to the sky!
Park: More importantly, the count resets! A savvy counter move by the veteran!
Wright: Might not be so savvy if you can’t get back to your feet, though! Look at the impact on the replay of Constantine practically uppercutting himself on the barrier!
The replay is shown repeatedly, first in full-speed and then in slow-mo, revealing the crash landing did Constantine just as much harm as did Kane. His head bounces off the barricade as he crumples to the floor. The referee’s count continues to climb as the crowd’s reaction is still as split as ever, with the fans just deciding who to boo louder and who they hate more.
…TWO!
…THREE!
…FOUR!
The first one back to his feet is actually the X-Crown champion himself. Spike Kane climbs over the barricade and takes a look at the downed challenger, who is back up to a knee but not all the way standing. Kane takes him by the nape of his neck and gets some forward momentum, before slamming his throat straight into the ring apron! Constantine goes down in a coughing fit as the crowd boos loudly!
Wright: Right to the throat! The champion knows how to dish out punishment!
Park: Kane goes back in control here!
…FIVE!
Spike Kane grabs the challenger and throws half his body back into the ring, leaving Constantine’s chest on the apron. He moves the ring steps so that he can once again ascend them back to the ring apron, but instead of moving into the ring, he gets a running start and drops a massive leg across the chest of Constantine!
Wright: That’s 240 pounds right across the chest and throat of Misha!
Park: It’s got to be hard to breath for him right now! If you cut off his air supply, that might be all it takes here!
…SIX!
Spike Kane climbs back into the ring, gesturing by slapping his hands together, indicating his satisfaction. He goes for a pin, hooking both legs.
Wright: This might be it after that giant leg drop!
Park: Here’s the count!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…KICKOUT!
Wright: Only two!
Park: But extra devious with hooking both legs there, the champion makes the challenger exert more energy when he’s low on oxygen!
Spike continues wrecking shop on Misha Constantine, raising him back up to his feet only to immediately crack his spike over his knee with a brutal backbreaker! He hooks both legs again and makes the referee count once more!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…KICKOUT!
Wright: It takes a lot to beat down Constantine, but the champion is whittling him away!
Park: You can feel it in the crowd, they’re starting to sense that Kane has complete control and looks to show no signs of slowing!
Kane backs up in the corner and looks at his opposition, slapping his knee as he waits for the challenger to get back to his feet. He is preparing to swing his Bloody Sunday bicycle kick directly into the downed and dreary challenger, and effectively put him to sleep. Constantine is crumbled on the mat, having finally caught his breath but unaware he’s about to catch a kick to the skull. He pulls himself back up using the ropes for assistance and turns around, only to get nailed by the Bloody Sunday! The crowd boos as the challenger goes down hard!
Wright: Bloody Sunday! That’s it!
Park: The cover and the count!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…T-NO!
The crowd cheers, perhaps out of instinct, as Kane sits up. He rubs his chin with his mouth, doing his best to cover up small bits of visible frustration. He winds a hand through his hair before slowly and methodically picking up Misha Constantine before brutally whipping him into the corner, with enough force that the contender slams into the turnbuckle and goes down. Kane grabs him back and looks at the ropes, deciding to set him up on the top rope with his back facing the ring. Kane begins to climb the ropes himself, looking for a top rope german suplex!
Wright: Kane about to use that power to send Constantine flying into 2022!
Park: If he drops him on his head, that’s goodnight!
Spike Kane swings back for the top rope german, but Constantine has hooked his legs under the ropes and doesn’t want to go! Kane strikes him and then strikes him again, clocking him in the back of the head to try to get him to shift his position. Constantine is losing his defensive position in a hurry as Kane grabs him again, pulling him out of his remaining entanglements and hucking him across the ring for the german, but Constantine flips all the way and lands on his feet!
Wright: Holy -- he’s on his feet!
Park: How the hell did he manage that?
Spike turns himself around on the top rope, just in time to eat an Undyne’s Spear from Constantine! Misha hits his second rope spin kick and strikes Spike directly on the forehead, sending the champion crashing back down to the outside! The crowd reacts loudly!
Wright: Undyne’s Spear! Undyne’s Spear!
Park: And a brutal landing for the champion to boot! This might be Misha’s time!
…ONE!
…TWO!
Constantine leans against the ropes, taking a few moments to recover and soaking in the boos as he judges the top rope, climbing the opposite corner and getting a running start across the top to leap into a 450 splash, slamming down on Kane on the outside!
Wright: Orbital Strike! Constantine’s really laying it in now as the momentum has shifted to the challenger!
Park: You gotta put it all on the line in a match like this! Can Misha get Kane back in the ring and get it done?
…THREE!
The crowd’s reaction increases as Johnny Five, Misha Constantine’s bodyguard and long time associate/tag team partner comes down the ramp and to ringside to look after his leader. He cheers and claps for Misha to get back up, and his associate is grateful for the encouragement as he returns to his feet.
…FOUR!
Wright: Johnny Five makes his presence known at ringside, coming down to support the champion!
Park: He’s always been one to get himself involved in matches like these, referee Davenport has to keep an eye on him!
…FIVE!
Constantine manages to scoop up the still down Spike Kane, sending him back into the ring! Kane rolls an extra distance away from Misha, but the challenger runs back into the ring and connects with a running shooting star press! He hooks the leg!
Wright: Running shooting star press! This could be it!
Park: The cover and the count!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…T-NO!
Wright: Not enough! Misha just hit him with half his arsenal but it wasn’t enough!
Park: This is a hard-hitting match between these two, what’s it going to take the victory home?
Constantine pulls himself back up to his feet and looks around before pushing himself back into the corner, looking to put away Kane with the DeityDT! Kane eventually makes it back up to his feet and Constantine takes a rushing start, but finds he’s unable to bring Kane to the mat with the DeityDT as Kane pops him up, delivering the Blood God’s Wrath powerbomb instead!
Wright: Blood God’s Wrath out of nowhere!
Park: Goodnight Misha, goodnight X-Crown! These fans are booing as we’ve just seen the end of the Crown’s time here in FIRESIDE! Here’s the cover!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR-Misha gets a foot on the ropes!
Wright: Three-no! Constantine, Constantine somehow gets a foot on that bottom rope!
Park: Savvy awareness and instinct from a ring general, Oliver! I’m not sure he even knows where he is after having his spine and skull slammed down to the mat like that!
Spike grumbles to himself, pulling Misha into the center of the ring before covering him again!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…NO! Misha kicks out!
Wright: The challenger is fighting hard tonight, but how much more spark does Constantine have left?
Park: He’s gotta be fading fast at this rate! One more big move ought to put him away!
Spike grimaces at having to dig down for another move, but then a devilish grin appears on his face. He grabs Misha, dragging him to the center of the ring, before turning him over and grabbing his ankle, locking in the Burning Hell! The crowd boos furiously!
Wright: Oh man -- an ankle lock here, right now, to defend the Crown and take it out of Philadelphia?!
Park: I would say he’s got a flair for the dramatic, but it’s more or less a flair for making sure his opponent suffers!
Kane is thrilled to have locked in this ankle lock dead in the center of the ring. Constantine is less than happy, suddenly screaming and grabbing his ankle as he desperately tries to roll and spin out of the hold to keep himself from being fully trapped in the hold. The squirming is impressive and helps him gain some footing towards getting towards the ropes, but it’s not enough as Constantine dives out in a last bit of desperation for the bottom rope only to just miss and have the grapevine applied, the ankle lock now fully in. The booing continues.
Wright: Death, taxes, and Spike Kane defending the X-Crown… it’s starting to all come to a head! This is a man who’s never been pinned or submitted in his FIRESIDE tenure, why did we think today was the day?
Park: I hate to say I might agree with you at this point! Misha’s been digging deeper and deeper but that reserve has got to be empty at this point!
Constantine reaches out for the ropes with a big scream but is just a hand away from them. He looks back at Spike who is screaming for him to tap and just shakes his head no, but it’s clear the longer he’s in this hold, the more his win probability declines. He looks around again for his exit, but the ropes behind him are even further than the ropes that are closer. He uses his remaining core strength to roll over, but Spike keeps the hold! The crowd is on their feet!
Wright: The champ’s got a death grip! Misha is going to be forced to tap one away or another!
Park: Come on Misha, do something!
At the eleventh hour, Johnny Five comes running around the ringside area, hopping on the ring apron and beginning to cause all kinds of ruckus, drawing referee Melanie Davenport’s attention right as Misha Constantine taps out! Spike Kane releases the hold, believing he’s won!
Wright: Misha taps! Misha taps as Kane defends the Crown!
Park: But wait --- no bell -- referee never saw it, she’s busy dealing with Johnny!
Referee Melanie Davenport is having absolutely none of it, ejecting Johnny to the back! The crowd cheers, especially the BANG Bros section!
Wright: Kane’s fans are glad to see Johnny gone!
Park: He’s somehow still arguing with her! How much can this guy talk?
Five refuses to leave the ring apron, almost drawing in a disqualification for Misha… at least until Spike Kane forcibly grabs him and brings him INTO the ring! By now, an utterly furious Spike has realized that this man has kept him from retaining his championship! He grabs Johnny who begins to fiercely apologize, but it’s not enough as Kane deliberately treats Constantine’s bodyguard with fitting disdain, kicking him below the belt and then dropping him with a brutal Thunderstruck stunner!
Wright: Thanks for coming Johnny! A devastating stunner from the champ!
Park: He might wake up in February at some point!
As Spike turns around, he bends down to pin Misha, only to be hooked into a pinning predicament himself! The crowd counts as Misha gets a handful of tights!
Wright: Constantine’s got the tights!
Park: Ref doesn’t see!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR-NO! Spike kicks out!
Spike rushes back to his feet after the infuriating pin, only to be caught and planted by a leaping Misha Constantine!
Wright: DeityDT! DeityDT! Misha surprised him with that!
Park: He pushed off with his good leg for that jump, otherwise, he surely wouldn’t have been able to get the elevation! This crowd is on their feet!
Misha grabs his ankle, screaming out in pain as he looks up at the top rope. He knows what he has to do, he knows he has to climb, it’s just a case of whether or not he can will his body into giving it one last gasp. He slowly begins to make his way towards the corner, gingerly ascending to the top rope as the bruised ankle makes him delicately come up to the position.
Wright: Constantine lost the Crown due to a broken ankle, is he about to lose out on his big moment here because of one now? The clock is ticking on him, and running out of sand as he struggles to get himself to that top rope!
Park: He’s an Irae Dei away from winning! He just needs to hit this and it’s over!
Misha looks down, centering himself for a few seconds as he repositions himself to put as little weight on his ankle as possible for his shooting star press, only for his eyes to go wide as the leg he’s been using to support himself gets super kicked out from under him. Spike has somehow made it back to his feet in record time after the DeityDT, and now has his opponent laid out across the top rope. Spike grabs him and slowly but surely begins to position him and himself for a match-ending top rope Jackhammer.
Wright: Constantine and Kane, fighting for the Crown, and it seems it’s going to end up here in the high-risk district!
Park: It’s a space that usually prefers Misha, but Kane has been brutalizing him all match, including with that superkick that knocked him off balance!
Spike Kane finally positions Misha the way he wants him, and goes to lift him but as a last act of desperation, Misha clocks him with a headbutt directly on his bandaged forehead, reopening the cut! Blood begins to pour out of the champion as his wound has been reopened!
Wright: Constantine just opened up Kane’s wound!
Park: How is he even still conscious on that top rope up there?
Kane spends just a moment grabbing at his face and his wound, but it’s enough for Misha to grab his arms, hooking them into position and leaping off the ropes to bring down Spike with a thunderous DIVINE FIRE DRIVER!
Wright: Divine Fire Driver! The Self-Made God brings down the Godfather of Xtreme!
Park: That’s it! They both might be out!
Constantine hooks the leg!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
The bell rings!
Wright: New champ! New champ! Holy shit! Misha Constantine becomes a two-time X-Crown champion, winning an absolute war of attrition between himself and Spike Kane!
Park: I can’t believe it! Johnny can’t believe it, he’s bouncing up and down in excitement!
In fact, the first person to get their hands on the X-Crown isn’t the referee, but is Johnny Five himself. Misha’s bodyguard grabs the title and slides back in the ring, nearly throwing the X-Crown to the beaten and hobbled Misha Constantine. Constantine bangs on the mat in joyful celebration as the crowd reacts strongly to his big win. The champion needs the ropes and Johnny Five to help himself up after the war, but the championship glory shields him from most of the pain.
Wright: Spike Kane fought hard, finishing a very respectable X-Crown reign and time in FIRESIDE with only one loss -- and unfortunately, that loss has cost him the Crown!
Park: He nearly overcame the challenger with an absolutely vicious assault of a gameplan, but Misha used the numbers game and out willed the punishment just long enough to get the win!
Wright: What a match!
Park: And get this Oliver -- that was just the beginning of the show!
Constantine stands in the center of the ring as fireworks go off and pyro rains down on him. He holds his beloved back in his hands once again, all feeling right in his world. He mimes scribbling his name, signing himself to this moment before being hoisted in the air by his bodyguard and delivering a giant finger to the booing crowd.
Wright: 2021 has been up-and-down for Constantine, strong performances throughout, including that X-Crown title win that brought FIRESIDE the title back in May… can he close the year back on top?
Park: Standing in his way is going to be a hell of a challenge.
Stanford: And his opponent…
The booing in the Hearth has just gone up another level. The news has gotten around.
Stanford: …weighing in at 240 pounds, from Belfast, Ireland, the Godfather of Xtreme, SPIKEEEEEEEEEE KAAAAAAAAAAAANEEEEEEEEEE!
The lights go out as the beginning of "Bow Down" by I Prevail plays through the PA system, as a circle of flames erupts on the stage. Through the flames, slowly emerges Spike Kane as he fully emerges, the song kicks in.
Wright: Word has definitely gotten out, Spike Kane’s last match in FIRESIDE is apparently in front of a hostile crowd!
Park: The man has made a helluva year doing exactly what he says he says he’ll do, and now it’s taking the X-Crown championship on the road, maybe to another company like GUNS…
Wright: …whatever the case, his road back through hell has been a brutal and efficient one. After coming in to screw Dylan Black out of the Battle of the Best, he took the Crown off of that move’s benefactor, Evan Valentine Jr., and has held the title ever since, including a big defense at End of Days.
"GET ON YOUR KNEES AND BOW DOWN!!!"
Spike steps through the flames and heads to the ring, taking off his jacket as he prepares for a fight. There is a large adhesive bandage on his forehead, blocking the handful of stitches his forehead needed after Oh Violent Night.
Wright: That bandage is looking like a giant glowing weakspot. How will this play into his defense?
Park: It was a hellacious stomp he took right on the steel courtesy of Mr. Black, will he regret the extracurriculars? Time will tell. There’s the bell, the Self-Made God vs. the Godfather of Xtreme for the X-Crown Championship. Here we go!
The bell rings and the immense amount of discontentment can be felt throughout the Hearth. The booing is extra loud as the fans have to choose between a man leaving their company and a man who’s never wanted their support. The crowd stays on their feet as the two men circle each other in the ring, the champion wanting to utilize his technical side and his power while the challenger looks to use his speed and striking prowess. Both combatants swing kicks toward one another, neither manages to connect. The champion manages to put an end to the opening stalemate by getting his hands on the challenger, pulling him into a side headlock, though he quickly has to pull back to avoid getting clocked in the face by the elusive challenger contorting his body and sending a boot mere inches from his chin!
Both men return to a standing position, each one giving the other a look up and down, measuring their opponent with a look of respect before returning to a grapple. This time the challenger manages to get lower and to push the opposition back into a corner. He quickly bounces off the second rope and tries to fire off a spin kick, but the champion ducks underneath.
Wright: Ooh, the Undyne’s Spear just misses. If Misha hit that that early, it might be a short night!
Park: Both wrestlers know the others’ strengths and weaknesses and did their homework, as evidenced by how fast Spike got out of the way of that!
As the Self-Made God lands back on his feet, the Godfather of Xtreme unloads a wicked clothesline, sending them over the ropes and crashing down to the floor below! Referee Melanie Davenport begins her ten count as the crowd boos.
Wright: BAM! That’s one way to counter the high-flying action!
Park: Will the champ follow-up on the outside or wait the challenger out in the ring? The way Constantine’s head hit the floor there, it could be a bad sign early!
…ONE!
…TWO!
The way Constantine is grabbing his head on the outside indicates that the bump to the floor was definitely a little harder than he would have liked. He doesn’t have too much time to recover though, as Spike Kane already has grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him up to the announce table. Constantine tries to shake out of Kane’s grasp but Kane takes him by the back of the head and slams it into the table. He does it again with an added air of viciousnesss.
…THREE!
…FOUR!
Wright: Look at the fierce look in Kane’s eyes as he slams Constantine’s skull off our desk!
Park: This out here is his element -- Constantine would be smart to get himself back in the ring as soon as possible!
A crawling Constantine can’t quite put enough distance between himself and Spike Kane as the X-Crown champion grabs his contender by the foot and begins to drag him towards the steel steps! He places Constantine’s ankle on the steps and takes a few steps backward, preparing to shatter the bone!
…FIVE!
Wright: If he gets this stomp, you may as well stick a fork in Misha!
Park: The FIRESIDE team in the back has to be getting nervous!
Spike Kane lifts his leg… only to be kicked directly in the sternum! He recoils back as Misha uses the steps to press himself up, leaping into position to send Kane crashing into the steps with a hurricanrana!
…SIX!
Wright: Big counter from the challenger!
Park: He really needed that, and Kane’s knees didn’t need that meeting with the steel!
Wright: He was one of the many men who couldn’t walk out of that Violent Night main event, who knows what condition his legs are in?
…SEVEN!
The champion remains down as the crowd is split in its booing! Constantine wisely ducks back into the ring, buying himself a few moments to recover. The camera captures a black eye, courtesy of the headdesking he was forced to do earlier.
Wright: Look at that shiner!
Park: A black eye left on the FIRESIDE veteran from Kane, who is still down on the outside!
…EIGHT!
As Kane is slow to get up, we start to get a better picture of what’s left of his physical conditions after a brutal week. He does seem to know where he is in getting up, but surprisingly, he still takes his time to rise to his feet, using the barricade to support himself. He yells at a fan flipping him the finger as he sets himself against the divider.
…NINE!
Wright: We’re at nine and the champion is still on the outside of the ring!
Park: He doesn’t need to get back in if he doesn’t want to! The champ only loses the Crown on a pinfall or a submission, and he can just rest up and take a rematch!
Wright: It looks like Constantine has something to say -- or do about it!
Misha Constantine knows what’s up and gets a full head of speed, leaping out through the middle rope and connecting with a tope suicida to Kane’s back, sending the champion up and over the barricade! The crowd reacts as both men are down on the outside!
…ONE!
Wright: Tope suicida! Both men are down after Constantine takes to the sky!
Park: More importantly, the count resets! A savvy counter move by the veteran!
Wright: Might not be so savvy if you can’t get back to your feet, though! Look at the impact on the replay of Constantine practically uppercutting himself on the barrier!
The replay is shown repeatedly, first in full-speed and then in slow-mo, revealing the crash landing did Constantine just as much harm as did Kane. His head bounces off the barricade as he crumples to the floor. The referee’s count continues to climb as the crowd’s reaction is still as split as ever, with the fans just deciding who to boo louder and who they hate more.
…TWO!
…THREE!
…FOUR!
The first one back to his feet is actually the X-Crown champion himself. Spike Kane climbs over the barricade and takes a look at the downed challenger, who is back up to a knee but not all the way standing. Kane takes him by the nape of his neck and gets some forward momentum, before slamming his throat straight into the ring apron! Constantine goes down in a coughing fit as the crowd boos loudly!
Wright: Right to the throat! The champion knows how to dish out punishment!
Park: Kane goes back in control here!
…FIVE!
Spike Kane grabs the challenger and throws half his body back into the ring, leaving Constantine’s chest on the apron. He moves the ring steps so that he can once again ascend them back to the ring apron, but instead of moving into the ring, he gets a running start and drops a massive leg across the chest of Constantine!
Wright: That’s 240 pounds right across the chest and throat of Misha!
Park: It’s got to be hard to breath for him right now! If you cut off his air supply, that might be all it takes here!
…SIX!
Spike Kane climbs back into the ring, gesturing by slapping his hands together, indicating his satisfaction. He goes for a pin, hooking both legs.
Wright: This might be it after that giant leg drop!
Park: Here’s the count!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…KICKOUT!
Wright: Only two!
Park: But extra devious with hooking both legs there, the champion makes the challenger exert more energy when he’s low on oxygen!
Spike continues wrecking shop on Misha Constantine, raising him back up to his feet only to immediately crack his spike over his knee with a brutal backbreaker! He hooks both legs again and makes the referee count once more!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…KICKOUT!
Wright: It takes a lot to beat down Constantine, but the champion is whittling him away!
Park: You can feel it in the crowd, they’re starting to sense that Kane has complete control and looks to show no signs of slowing!
Kane backs up in the corner and looks at his opposition, slapping his knee as he waits for the challenger to get back to his feet. He is preparing to swing his Bloody Sunday bicycle kick directly into the downed and dreary challenger, and effectively put him to sleep. Constantine is crumbled on the mat, having finally caught his breath but unaware he’s about to catch a kick to the skull. He pulls himself back up using the ropes for assistance and turns around, only to get nailed by the Bloody Sunday! The crowd boos as the challenger goes down hard!
Wright: Bloody Sunday! That’s it!
Park: The cover and the count!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…T-NO!
The crowd cheers, perhaps out of instinct, as Kane sits up. He rubs his chin with his mouth, doing his best to cover up small bits of visible frustration. He winds a hand through his hair before slowly and methodically picking up Misha Constantine before brutally whipping him into the corner, with enough force that the contender slams into the turnbuckle and goes down. Kane grabs him back and looks at the ropes, deciding to set him up on the top rope with his back facing the ring. Kane begins to climb the ropes himself, looking for a top rope german suplex!
Wright: Kane about to use that power to send Constantine flying into 2022!
Park: If he drops him on his head, that’s goodnight!
Spike Kane swings back for the top rope german, but Constantine has hooked his legs under the ropes and doesn’t want to go! Kane strikes him and then strikes him again, clocking him in the back of the head to try to get him to shift his position. Constantine is losing his defensive position in a hurry as Kane grabs him again, pulling him out of his remaining entanglements and hucking him across the ring for the german, but Constantine flips all the way and lands on his feet!
Wright: Holy -- he’s on his feet!
Park: How the hell did he manage that?
Spike turns himself around on the top rope, just in time to eat an Undyne’s Spear from Constantine! Misha hits his second rope spin kick and strikes Spike directly on the forehead, sending the champion crashing back down to the outside! The crowd reacts loudly!
Wright: Undyne’s Spear! Undyne’s Spear!
Park: And a brutal landing for the champion to boot! This might be Misha’s time!
…ONE!
…TWO!
Constantine leans against the ropes, taking a few moments to recover and soaking in the boos as he judges the top rope, climbing the opposite corner and getting a running start across the top to leap into a 450 splash, slamming down on Kane on the outside!
Wright: Orbital Strike! Constantine’s really laying it in now as the momentum has shifted to the challenger!
Park: You gotta put it all on the line in a match like this! Can Misha get Kane back in the ring and get it done?
…THREE!
The crowd’s reaction increases as Johnny Five, Misha Constantine’s bodyguard and long time associate/tag team partner comes down the ramp and to ringside to look after his leader. He cheers and claps for Misha to get back up, and his associate is grateful for the encouragement as he returns to his feet.
…FOUR!
Wright: Johnny Five makes his presence known at ringside, coming down to support the champion!
Park: He’s always been one to get himself involved in matches like these, referee Davenport has to keep an eye on him!
…FIVE!
Constantine manages to scoop up the still down Spike Kane, sending him back into the ring! Kane rolls an extra distance away from Misha, but the challenger runs back into the ring and connects with a running shooting star press! He hooks the leg!
Wright: Running shooting star press! This could be it!
Park: The cover and the count!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…T-NO!
Wright: Not enough! Misha just hit him with half his arsenal but it wasn’t enough!
Park: This is a hard-hitting match between these two, what’s it going to take the victory home?
Constantine pulls himself back up to his feet and looks around before pushing himself back into the corner, looking to put away Kane with the DeityDT! Kane eventually makes it back up to his feet and Constantine takes a rushing start, but finds he’s unable to bring Kane to the mat with the DeityDT as Kane pops him up, delivering the Blood God’s Wrath powerbomb instead!
Wright: Blood God’s Wrath out of nowhere!
Park: Goodnight Misha, goodnight X-Crown! These fans are booing as we’ve just seen the end of the Crown’s time here in FIRESIDE! Here’s the cover!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR-Misha gets a foot on the ropes!
Wright: Three-no! Constantine, Constantine somehow gets a foot on that bottom rope!
Park: Savvy awareness and instinct from a ring general, Oliver! I’m not sure he even knows where he is after having his spine and skull slammed down to the mat like that!
Spike grumbles to himself, pulling Misha into the center of the ring before covering him again!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…NO! Misha kicks out!
Wright: The challenger is fighting hard tonight, but how much more spark does Constantine have left?
Park: He’s gotta be fading fast at this rate! One more big move ought to put him away!
Spike grimaces at having to dig down for another move, but then a devilish grin appears on his face. He grabs Misha, dragging him to the center of the ring, before turning him over and grabbing his ankle, locking in the Burning Hell! The crowd boos furiously!
Wright: Oh man -- an ankle lock here, right now, to defend the Crown and take it out of Philadelphia?!
Park: I would say he’s got a flair for the dramatic, but it’s more or less a flair for making sure his opponent suffers!
Kane is thrilled to have locked in this ankle lock dead in the center of the ring. Constantine is less than happy, suddenly screaming and grabbing his ankle as he desperately tries to roll and spin out of the hold to keep himself from being fully trapped in the hold. The squirming is impressive and helps him gain some footing towards getting towards the ropes, but it’s not enough as Constantine dives out in a last bit of desperation for the bottom rope only to just miss and have the grapevine applied, the ankle lock now fully in. The booing continues.
Wright: Death, taxes, and Spike Kane defending the X-Crown… it’s starting to all come to a head! This is a man who’s never been pinned or submitted in his FIRESIDE tenure, why did we think today was the day?
Park: I hate to say I might agree with you at this point! Misha’s been digging deeper and deeper but that reserve has got to be empty at this point!
Constantine reaches out for the ropes with a big scream but is just a hand away from them. He looks back at Spike who is screaming for him to tap and just shakes his head no, but it’s clear the longer he’s in this hold, the more his win probability declines. He looks around again for his exit, but the ropes behind him are even further than the ropes that are closer. He uses his remaining core strength to roll over, but Spike keeps the hold! The crowd is on their feet!
Wright: The champ’s got a death grip! Misha is going to be forced to tap one away or another!
Park: Come on Misha, do something!
At the eleventh hour, Johnny Five comes running around the ringside area, hopping on the ring apron and beginning to cause all kinds of ruckus, drawing referee Melanie Davenport’s attention right as Misha Constantine taps out! Spike Kane releases the hold, believing he’s won!
Wright: Misha taps! Misha taps as Kane defends the Crown!
Park: But wait --- no bell -- referee never saw it, she’s busy dealing with Johnny!
Referee Melanie Davenport is having absolutely none of it, ejecting Johnny to the back! The crowd cheers, especially the BANG Bros section!
Wright: Kane’s fans are glad to see Johnny gone!
Park: He’s somehow still arguing with her! How much can this guy talk?
Five refuses to leave the ring apron, almost drawing in a disqualification for Misha… at least until Spike Kane forcibly grabs him and brings him INTO the ring! By now, an utterly furious Spike has realized that this man has kept him from retaining his championship! He grabs Johnny who begins to fiercely apologize, but it’s not enough as Kane deliberately treats Constantine’s bodyguard with fitting disdain, kicking him below the belt and then dropping him with a brutal Thunderstruck stunner!
Wright: Thanks for coming Johnny! A devastating stunner from the champ!
Park: He might wake up in February at some point!
As Spike turns around, he bends down to pin Misha, only to be hooked into a pinning predicament himself! The crowd counts as Misha gets a handful of tights!
Wright: Constantine’s got the tights!
Park: Ref doesn’t see!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THR-NO! Spike kicks out!
Spike rushes back to his feet after the infuriating pin, only to be caught and planted by a leaping Misha Constantine!
Wright: DeityDT! DeityDT! Misha surprised him with that!
Park: He pushed off with his good leg for that jump, otherwise, he surely wouldn’t have been able to get the elevation! This crowd is on their feet!
Misha grabs his ankle, screaming out in pain as he looks up at the top rope. He knows what he has to do, he knows he has to climb, it’s just a case of whether or not he can will his body into giving it one last gasp. He slowly begins to make his way towards the corner, gingerly ascending to the top rope as the bruised ankle makes him delicately come up to the position.
Wright: Constantine lost the Crown due to a broken ankle, is he about to lose out on his big moment here because of one now? The clock is ticking on him, and running out of sand as he struggles to get himself to that top rope!
Park: He’s an Irae Dei away from winning! He just needs to hit this and it’s over!
Misha looks down, centering himself for a few seconds as he repositions himself to put as little weight on his ankle as possible for his shooting star press, only for his eyes to go wide as the leg he’s been using to support himself gets super kicked out from under him. Spike has somehow made it back to his feet in record time after the DeityDT, and now has his opponent laid out across the top rope. Spike grabs him and slowly but surely begins to position him and himself for a match-ending top rope Jackhammer.
Wright: Constantine and Kane, fighting for the Crown, and it seems it’s going to end up here in the high-risk district!
Park: It’s a space that usually prefers Misha, but Kane has been brutalizing him all match, including with that superkick that knocked him off balance!
Spike Kane finally positions Misha the way he wants him, and goes to lift him but as a last act of desperation, Misha clocks him with a headbutt directly on his bandaged forehead, reopening the cut! Blood begins to pour out of the champion as his wound has been reopened!
Wright: Constantine just opened up Kane’s wound!
Park: How is he even still conscious on that top rope up there?
Kane spends just a moment grabbing at his face and his wound, but it’s enough for Misha to grab his arms, hooking them into position and leaping off the ropes to bring down Spike with a thunderous DIVINE FIRE DRIVER!
Wright: Divine Fire Driver! The Self-Made God brings down the Godfather of Xtreme!
Park: That’s it! They both might be out!
Constantine hooks the leg!
…ONE!
…TWO!
…THREE!
The bell rings!
Wright: New champ! New champ! Holy shit! Misha Constantine becomes a two-time X-Crown champion, winning an absolute war of attrition between himself and Spike Kane!
Park: I can’t believe it! Johnny can’t believe it, he’s bouncing up and down in excitement!
In fact, the first person to get their hands on the X-Crown isn’t the referee, but is Johnny Five himself. Misha’s bodyguard grabs the title and slides back in the ring, nearly throwing the X-Crown to the beaten and hobbled Misha Constantine. Constantine bangs on the mat in joyful celebration as the crowd reacts strongly to his big win. The champion needs the ropes and Johnny Five to help himself up after the war, but the championship glory shields him from most of the pain.
Wright: Spike Kane fought hard, finishing a very respectable X-Crown reign and time in FIRESIDE with only one loss -- and unfortunately, that loss has cost him the Crown!
Park: He nearly overcame the challenger with an absolutely vicious assault of a gameplan, but Misha used the numbers game and out willed the punishment just long enough to get the win!
Wright: What a match!
Park: And get this Oliver -- that was just the beginning of the show!
Constantine stands in the center of the ring as fireworks go off and pyro rains down on him. He holds his beloved back in his hands once again, all feeling right in his world. He mimes scribbling his name, signing himself to this moment before being hoisted in the air by his bodyguard and delivering a giant finger to the booing crowd.
Stanford: The following contest is set for ONE FALL!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Stanford: AND IT IS FOR THE FIRESIDE WILDFIREEEEEE CHAAMMMPIOOONNNNSHIIIIIPPPPPP!!!!
The crowd within The Hearth cheer loudly, everyone on their feet before Cthulhu” by Gunship begins playing as torches all along the entranceway and aisle light up. “Zolothach” Tabitha Osborne walks out from the back with a wide grin as she takes in the boos from the crowd. She heads down to the ring with a sexy swagger (but she looks like a corpse so not very many catcalls). She rolls into the ring and leans in her corner.
Stanford: Introducing first... wrestling out of Paris, Illinois and weighing in tonight at one hundred and sixty-five pounds... this is "Zolothach"... TABBBBBITHHHAAAAAAA OSSSSSSBOORRRRRNNEEEEEEEE!!!!
The menacing synth and deliberate drums of "Blood Moon" by Dance With The Dead signals the arrival of Ed Zepp, who stalks toward the ring with a look of annoyance that's obvious even through his pair of dark sunglasses. He bounds up to the apron with one step and over the top rope with another, then briefly points a fist to the crowd around him.
Stanford: And her opponent... wrestling out of San Diego, California and weighing in tonight at two hundred and ninety-nine pounds... THIS IS EDDDDDWAAAAARRRRRDDDDD ZEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!
The opening horns of "Torcher II" by DZK begins as the crowd gets to their feet. Once the song really begins, Brad Kane steps out from the back. The former XHF World Champion makes his way to the ring as the long time fans are excited to see him while some of the newer fans are disgusted by this man. Brad Kane shows little emotion as he enters the ring, showing a face of hate for most everyone he will get into the squared circle with. The song begins to fade away as he turns his attention to what matters.
Stanford: And their opponent... wrestling out of Belfast, Northern Ireland and weighing in tonight at two hundred and twenty-three pounds... THIS IS BRRAAAAAAAADDDDDD KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
But, just as everyone expects Evan Valentine to show up... it just so happens that Greg - the assistant to Johnnie Valentine - is standing at the top of the stage with a microphone in his hand.
Greg, Jonnie's Assistant: Hello Ladies and (ahem) Gentlemen, welcome to Good Riddance 2021 at The Hearth in Philadelphia, P.A.!
The boos rise over Greg's voice and scattered "Fuck You Evan!" clap clap clap-clap-clap-clap chants begin.
Greg, Jonnie's Assistant: Despite it's placement on the card, this is your Main Event of the evening. It is a Wildfire Championship Fourway Clusterfuck! Featuring first, she hails from One Of Those Cities In The Midwest Where They Test New Whoppers; She Stands 5 feet 8 inches so she's hard to shop for, She Weighs 165 pounds If You Don't Count Her Emotional Baggage; She is 'ZOLO...(checks index card) ZOLO-TH...ZOLOTACH? I dunno...TABITHA OSBOURNE!!!
The fans cheer as Zolothach sneers at Greg.
Greg, Jonnie's Assistant: And From Diet LA, The City So Bad The Chargers Moved To A Stadium Full Of Booing Fans, It's MAGA California...San Diego, He stands 7 feet tall; He Weighs 299 pounds; The Man Single Handedly Bringing The Claw Back Into Relevance; He Won't Work For Food, 'Cause He Flat Out Can't Work... EDWARD ZEPP!!!
The Hearth pops for Edward Zepp who threatens Greg, who uncharacteristically sells it a little, moving a few steps away.
Greg, Jonnie's Assistant: (clears his throat) And hailing from The Most Depressing City in the Most Depressing Country in the World, still under Her Majesty's domain, Belfast, Northern Ireland; He stands 6 feet tall and weighs 220 pounds; He's Crazier Than A Shithouse Rat...BRAD KANE!!!
Then "Gucci Gucci" by Kreayshawn plays and The Hearth rocks with boos. After a few moments, Evan Valentine Jr. walks out. The lights go out and a spotlight hits him as he throws up a hand sign with an "E" with his right hand and a "V" with his left, drinking in the hate. The lights come back up and he walks to the ring, slapping signs out of his camera shot. Middle fingers so close they nearly touch him stick out from dozens of fans near the aisle. He stops next to one fan and lets him talk shit to the side of his face while he chews gum. He nods then keeps on going until he gets to the ring apron. He slides under the ropes and tells the other wrestlers in the ring, "Move!" then steps on the middle of the second rope, bouncing up and down while the audience jeers and tosses soda cups at him.
Greg, Jonnie's Assistant: (now fired up) And from the home of the Bighorn Sheep, The Desert Tortoise, and The 2021 Battle of the Best Tournament Winner, Palm Springs, California; He stands 5 feet 11 inches tall; (husky voice) He Stole All The Swole At 228 pounds; He's Got So Much Bread He Smells Like A Bakery. The Only Cut He's Getting Tonight Is Of The Gate. He's The Southpaw Who's Mongo's Right Hand Man....EVAN...VALENTINE...JR.!!!!
The boos are deafening as Evan continues to bounce on the middle of the second rope with his "E.V." hand sign He asks the other three wrestlers "You hear that?" then says "Watch this." He spits his gum out at the crowd and the boos get louder, just before he enters the ring and finds his corner.
DING! DING!
The match begins - as all four way matches would - with chaos as Brad Kane targeted Evan Valentine and Edward Zepp targeted Zolothach, and these four were just going after one another, just swinging for the fences with how much power they were willing to put into becoming the first Wildfire Champion-- but soon, the tides turned on both sides, it was now Valentine attacking Kane and Zolothach attacking Zepp. Valentine strikes at Kane with the Back Elbows and stunning Brad Kane enough to keep him out of it and so has Zolothach on the opposite side of the ring as the two begin to stare down one another, slowly circling around the ring and now finding each other in the opposite corners of where they were. Behind Zolothach was Brad Kane, finding his footing to stand back up straight--but Valentine soon turned around to find Edward Zepp standing right behind him - and towering over him - as Valentine's skin turns completely pale. Without any single hesitation, Valentine tries to run away- but a swinging kick from Zolothach knocks him back and into the clutches of Zepp.
Wright: Valentine thought he could get away from Zepp but Zolothach just kicked him right into his arms! This isn't what he wanted, it's what he's been afraid for, and now, he's got nowhere to go but to suffer in his arms!
Park: Well... that's one way of putting it, Oliver. Could have mentioned the fact that Brad Kane just landed a clubbing crossface shot from behind Zolothach to knock her out of the ring, but you continue playing David and Goliath over there.
As Zolothach tumbled out of the ring and Brad Kane gave chase, Valentine was trapped in the bear hug position by Zepp and he's being crushed in the tight grip of the hold. His arms are completely trapped and he's struggling to just slip free from the clutches. Zepp finally releases Valentine but it was only very temporarily as he grabbed onto him and tossed him across the ring with a releasing version of the Exploder Suplex! Valentine flops around like a fish upon impact and he's even rolled out of the ring to continue flopping around from the impact of the move. That time was enough for Brad Kane to slip back inside of the ring and land a nasty Bicycle Pump Kick right to the head of Zepp, and then the Roaring Elbow right to the jaw of Zepp, and rebounding off of the ropes - with Zepp now done to one knee - as Kane charges in with a Step Up Axe Kick that knocks down Zepp entirely.
Wright: Amazing show of strength and power by Brad Kane to topple Zepp the way he did, and now, would you look at that... Here comes Evan Valentine to sweep in and attack--
Park: Not entirely, he's going right after Brad Kane and kicking him in the corner, making sure that he's going toe to toe with a downed Zepp himself. But Kane ain't taking none of it, he's thrown Valentine over the ropes and making him crash down onto the floor below.
Kane finds himself alone again with Zepp bringing himself back up to his knees, looking to cock back the arm and swing the elbow forward but as he charged in-- Zolothach leapt over Zepp and landed a Dropkick onto Kane, knocking him out of the ring. Zolothach turns back around, but to her surprise - and many others - Zepp is standing right back up and he just BULLDOZES through Zolothach with a Lariat that turned her inside out. Evan Valentine is creeping around the ring and just watching for an opening against Zepp. Brad Kane slides back into the ring and goes to work on Zepp, but the Backfist strikes from Zepp are too much for even Brad Kane to get through, he begins to crumble under the strikes of Zepp. Though, from behind came a low blow from Valentine onto Zepp, which was soon followed up with an Enzuigiri right to the head of Zepp, and that's when Kane was able to shake off the attack and rebound off of the ropes - with the limited space he had - to connect The Killshot right to Zepp and knocking him down for the time being.
Wright: Oh, come on! Zepp was doing so well if it wasn't for Valentine going low on Zepp, such a dastardly move--I should have seen it coming from such a spoilt little brat like him, to be honest.
Park: I don't see the issue, really. Valentine's just after giving both Zolothach and Kane the chance to fight against each other without some seven foot tall man lingering in the distance. Two very good strikers and one... Evan Valentine Jr.
Zolothach and Brad Kane begin teeing off with one another, back and forth they went with the strikes until the kicks of Brad Kane came through and they were just too powerful for Zolothach to handle. Kane fell back into the ropes and he rebounded to charge into her for another Killshot kick-- but Evan Valentine came out of nowhere - like a bat out of hell - and leapt up to drive the knee right into his head. Kane falls back into the ropes again, rebounding and trying to charge in, but a Roundhouse Kick right to the stomach from Zolothach stops Kane in his tracks and then an Axe Kick right to the head.
Wright: Some beautiful kicks being perfected right now onto Brad Kane, but even Kane is seeing red right now, gritting his teeth and looking really pissed off right now. We might be seeing the sighting of Reckless Jack if Zolothach isn't too careful.
Park: Oh please, this'll be perfect for these two to square off - two people who just feel a despise for other people and seem to be different entities to what the normal human counterpart would be--
Wright: VALENTINE JUST PULLED ZOLOTHACH'S HAIR! DRAGGING HER TO THE ROPES! THIS IS DESPICABLE! DISGUSTING!
Park: ...this is very common for him to do.
The referee, Chris Mardinly, is demanding for Evan to release the hold on Zolothach's hair but even then, he's not going to admit that he was in the wrong, putting his hands up into the air and shaking his head.
Evan Valentine Jr.: Hey, I didn't do a thing. She got in the way, you going to try and complain about something that I didn't do? Huh!? Is that what you're gonna---AHHHHHH!!!
The screams of Evan Valentine echoed throughout the arena as he's dragged by the feet by Edward Zepp and dropped down onto the floor below with a Sidewinder Suplex. Zepp tries his best to get back up and onto the apron but THE KILLSHOT FROM BRAD KANE KNOCKS ZEPP DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR! ZEPP FALLS FLAT ON HIS BACK AND IS COMPLETELY KNOCKED OUT OF IT!
Wright: GOOD GOD! ALMOST CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE IN THE ARENA!
Park: Let's not fat shame people, Oliver.
Wright: I wasn't but even still... that was a massive drop for someone like him - of his size - with nothing to protect him. His back might have been broken completely.
Zolothach and Brad Kane are left all alone in the ring as they just continue where they've left off, beginning to tee off with one another before Kane looks to rebound off of the ropes and charge in for a Killshot-- but Zolothach ducks the kick and rebounds herself, going for the Lariat but Kane ducked it, and that was exactly what Zolothach needed as she leaped up and connected the Enzuigiri to the back of the head.
Wright: OPPORTUNITY IS OPENED FOR ZOLOTHACH!
Park: One move away - possibily - from becoming the Wildfire Champion if she can hit that Cutter of hers.
With Brad Kane looking like he's about to collapse, Zolothach looks to end this with a Twist of Fate cutter but Brad caught her in time and pushed her away -- but as she rebounded, and Kane was looking for a killing blow with the BK Backfist, she ducked under the arm and found herself in the perfect position to land a Thrust Kick right onto the jaw of Kane. Though, it wasn't enough as he went swinging for another BK Backfist- but ending up with nothing to hit as she ducked it again, landing a Roundhouse to the head that stuns him enough for Zolothach to climb up the ropes and have her back turned to Brad Kane - who's standing on wobbly legs - as she leaped, twisting in the air, and catching Brad Kane with the Twist of Fate!
Wright: TWIST OF FATE! SHE GOT HIM! DEAD CENTER OF THE RING!
Park: This is that chance I was talking about, this is hers for the taking if she can juuust---
Wright: EVAN VALENTINE--- HOLY HELL! ZEPP POUNCED AND KNOCKED VALENTINE OUT OF THE RING!
Park: VALENTINE GOT SENT OVER THE ROPES!
With all of the carnage and chaos ensuing, there was only one thing left for Zolothach to do and that was to cover Brad Kane, hooking the leg as the official makes the count.
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
DING! DING! DING!
Wright: ZOLOTHACH IS THE FIRST EVER WILDFIRE CHAMPION!
Park: A well-deserving victory from such a chaotic match between these lot. This has been a long time coming for Zolothach to be the Wildfire Champion, it was like it was her destiny to win it.
“Cthulhu” by Gunship begins to play through the speakers as Zolothach was finally able to rise from the ashes of what the ring had left in it's wake. Chris Mardinly retrieves the championship and holds it in his hands for Zolothach to take, and she did, raising it high above her head and holding it up high as the first-ever champion of it's history.
Stanford: HERE IS YOUR WINNER... AND THE FIRST-EVER FIRESIDE WILDFIRE CHAMPION... "ZOLOTHACH" TABITHA... OSSSSSBORRRRRNNEEEEEEE!!!!!
Nothing else mattered to Zolothach right now but the championship in her hands, and she held it proudly, as she rolled out of the ring and held it up high for everyone to see as she made her way to the back, leaving the ring in the state that it's in.
An enormous shadow looms over an aisle of lockers. Conversations wither and heads turn to the largest Russian most people have or ever will see. The immense bald man is wearing a red and yellow leotard with a strange pitchfork symbol at its waist. In one arm, he cradles a huge dark fuzzball, almost as large as he is. He speaks almost in a whisper.
Hank Sokolov: So, I hear this is where to go if I want a challenge.
He lifts the enormous mass in hand to reveal it is an adult black bear. He pumps it up and down with one arm as it were a dumbbell.
Hank Sokolov: Which of you Amerikanski jabrons will I fold in half first?
In the resulting silence, only the faintest whimper emits from the bear. Its paws wrap around its face. Sokolov continues to bicep curl with its body.
Hank Sokolov: Or perhaps, I was misinformed when I was told there were worthy opponents here.
He sets the bear on the ground. It trembles away from him, almost imperceptibly. He ignores it, instead fixing the assembled wrestlers with a glare. The bear then turns around and bolts out the door. Shouts and crashes follow in its wake. Hank points at the wrestlers and raises his voice for the first time.
Hank Sokolov: Spread the word. Hank Sokolov, the Russian Colossus is back in the game. If any of you wishes to be twisted into human pretzel, I pledge my assistance. Here, I make dreams come true. Dosvidaniya.
The Russian giant departs without elaboration.
Wright: The powerful Russian Hank Sokolov: coming soon!
Park: Big and scary, that one is! Excited to see what he can do in the ring!
The beats of “Family Ties” begin to play throughout the arena as the house lights shine down a blue hue, circling around the arena and the stage. Soon comes The Californian Angel standing front and center of the stage, with a shine to her eye as she looks around the arena with a smile on her face. Rebecca looks around the arena before she slowly twirls around on the top of the ramp, showing off the sparkling gems within her ring jacket.
Stanford: Introducing first… wrestling out of Anaheim, California and weighing in tonight at one hundred and fifty-nine pounds… She is “The Californian Angel”, “The Goddess of War”... REBECCA BROOOOOOKESSSSSSSSSS!!!!
Rebecca takes one final deep breath before she could make her charge to the ring, high fiving every fan that she passes and hugging the children that reach out to her. The crowd sings the chorus as Rebecca makes her way around the ring, climbing onto the apron and looking out to the thousands of fans as she raises her hand up to the air and waves to the fans, the crowd cheering wildly for Rebecca as she nods her head before entering the ring as she heads to the corner and climbs to the second rope as Rebecca soaks in the crowd's cheerful reaction.
Wright:: I'm looking forward to this one, Park.
The arena lights dim as a bassline begins to play. While a silver mist slowly fills the stage, the fans wait in anticipation. A deep voice starts singing in a whisper. Then, a dark figure walks through the mist. Completely decked out in black, the teenager slowly walks forward. The camera mostly keeps its distance. Different angles give a better look, but their face is still mostly obscured in darkness. After climbing the steps and entering the ring, the volume of the music increases.
"I hear the sons of the city and dispossessed
Get down, get undressed
Get pretty but you and me
We got the kingdom, we got the key
We got the empire, now as then
We don't doubt, we don't take direction"
The mist has thinned but the arena is still dark. The song quietens down.
"Lucretia, my reflection, dance the ghost with me"
Then reaches its loud finale. The lights come back on and the fans cheer. The camera focuses on Sam Sawyer's cold, glaring face.
Stanford: And her opponent... from Houston, Texas... weighing in tonight at one hundred and sixty pounnds... SAMMMMM SAWYEEEEEEEERRRR!
DING DING DING!
Both competitors square up in the center of the ring, sizing each other up. After a moment, they lock up, collar-and-elbow style. Brookes shoves Sawyer back into the corner, driving them against the ringpost. She keeps up the pressure by choking Sawyer in the corner. The referee counts her out as a warning!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
F--
Brookes lets go and takes a stand back, holding her hands up to show she's not trying to push anything too far here. Brookes resets to the center of the ring and invites Sawyer to lock up again. They oblige, quickly rushing to the center of the ring and locking up with Brookes. Sawyer spins Brookes around and pushes her against the ropes, but instead of whipping her across the ring, Sawyer just blasts the taste out of Rebecca's mouth with a stiff forearm to the jaw.
Park: We knew this would be a hard-hitting match, but it's coming to blows quite quickly!
Rebecca looks stunned for a moment, then smirks, welcoming the challenge. Sawyer takes it as an invitation to follow up with one, two... three more forearms to Brookes! They land on her jaw, chest, and shoulder, respectively. Sawyer goes to whip Brookes across the ring, but Brookes reverses the momentum and sends Sam going instead. They hit the ropes and rebound. Brookes goes low to flip Sawyer over her shoulders, but Sawyer leaps instead, charging into Brookes with a mean shoulder block! Brookes stumbles back several steps, leaning back into the ropes to catch herself and springs forward. Sawyer is just getting up to their feet from the dive when Brookes launches a big boot right into Sawyer's face, taking them down! Brookes covers!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Rebecca looks annoyed and shoves Sam back down for another attempt.
Wright:: Not enough!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Wright:: Still no!
Rebecca grunts and pushes up to her knees. Sawyer quickly bridges up from their downed position to get away from Brookes and runs the ropes, bouncing off and leaping into the air, connecting with Rebecca's chest with a missile dropkick! Brookes staggers back, clutching at her midsection, and Sawyer keeps up the momentum. They run the ropes again and leap up for another dropkick, but Brookes has learned this time and pushes Sawyer away, knocking them to the ground. Quick to act, Brookes grabs Sawyer's head and drags them up, hoisting them up across her body and dropped her down on a knee with a sick backbreaker.
Wright:: Yeesh.
Park: I could almost here their vertebrae snap from here.
Sawyer is up to their feet and staggers into the corner, clutching at their arched back in pain. Brookes follows up with a shoulder charge into the corner, knocking Sawyer silly. Sawyer stumbles out of the corner in a daze and Brookes catches them with a jumping neckbreaker. Sawyer hits the mat and Brookes scrambles over for a cover.
ONE!
TWO!
T-- KICKOUT!
Brookes looks around wide-eyed and growing more frustrated by Sawyer's resilience.
Wright:: Brookes keeps trying to put Sawyer away early, but she's gonna need more than that to keep them down.
Sawyer starts to crawl away to get back up to their feet and Brookes decides enough is enough. She grabs them by the legs and wrenches the legs back, managing to lock in a cloverleaf! Sawyer groans and grits their teeth as Rebecca applies pressure to their legs.
Park: Despite being in a world of pain, Sawyer is holding it together well.
Wright:: But they have nowhere to go! Stranded in the middle of the ring!
Sam begins to crawl away underneath the legs of Rebecca Brookes, hoping to make it just an inch or two further, just a bit closer to the ropes. Brookes reacts by dropping down on their back, pushing their stomach down to the ground! Sawyer's face twists and contorts in pain, but they manage to rotate their hip just enough to relieve some of the pressure. However, it doesn't look like they're going anywhere with Brookes camped out on top of them.
Park: It's hard enough to break a hold like this, but doing it with someone sitting on top of you? Nearly--
Sawyer claws into the canvas and musters every last ounce of strength to drag themselves and Brookes just a few inches further towards the ropes.
Wright:: --impossible?
Brookes says enough is enough and stands up, dragging Sawyer back towards the middle of the ring. With one leg free, Sawyer manages to roll through, getting both legs on Rebecca's midsection. Brookes thinks fast and grabs the second leg, hoisting Sawyer up into position for a powerbomb... but Sawyer goes over the back of Brookes and down the back side, rolling Rebecca up in the process!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Park: Clever counter from Sawyer.
Brookes scrambles up and turns, hitting a high boot to the jaw of Sawyer for their troubles. Rebecca dashes to the ropes and bounces back, charging at Sawyer, but they manage to leap into the air with a last second leaping knee strike right to the face of Rebecca Brookes! Brookes stumbles back and steadies herself. Sawyer dashes to Brookes again. Brookes goes for a sweeping lariat, but Sawyer ducks underneath and turns to face Brookes. Brookes spins around and gets absolutely unceremoniously SLAPPED in the fucking mouth.
Park: GET FUCKED! Rebecca's gonna feel that one in the morning!
With Brookes stunned, Sawyer takes a few steps back and bounces off the ropes and then ABSOLUTELY LEVELS BROOKES WITH A RUNNING LARIAT!
Wright:: FIRE WITH FIRE!
Park: Double dose of pain for Brookes!
Rebecca hits the canvas and Sawyer is quick to capitalize.
ONE!
TWO!
THR--NO!
Rebecca flails and gets a shoulder up, keeping her hopes alive. Sawyer can't believe it.
Park: Many competitors wouldn't be conscious right now, let alone kicking out.
Wright:: I need an aspirin just watching those hits she took.
Sawyer's eyes drift to the corner where they stay for a moment. Sam gets to their feet and slowly climbs the corner, making sure to get their footing just right. Sam carefully turns around, closes their eyes briefly, and then--
Wright:: SAWWYEEERRSAAAUUULLLLT!!!
Sam nails a moonsault off the top rope, connecting with the downed Rebecca Brookes. Sawyer hesitates only briefly, deciding not to go for a cover but to put the final nail in the coffin of Brookes. They scramble up to the top rope again, steady themself, close their eyes, and--
Wright:: ANOTHER SAWYERSAU--
NO! Brookes gets the knees up! Sawyer connects, ribcage-first, and goes bouncing across the canvas.
Wright:: HOW!?
Park: It took every ounce of energy she had!
Both competitors are out on the canvas, Sawyer tending to some damaged ribs and Brookes catching her breath after that last burst of energy. The crowd begins clapping in rhythmic unison for the two competitors, just wanting to see more of the brawl. After a moment, both of them begin moving, only slightly at first. Sawyer drags themself up, clutching at their ribs. Brookes is on her knees in the corner, chest heaving up and down, slowly regaining her energy. Both of them get up to their feet, wobbling.
Park: They're completely gassed.
Wright:: But they've got a warrior's spirit, and that can do some incredible things, even when you're exhausted.
They stumble to the middle of the ring, squaring up with each other. Beleagured and tired, Sawyer hauls off and chops the life out of Rebecca's chest. The crowd pops, and Rebecca fires back with an elbow strike of her own. The crowd pops again as Sawyer grabs the back of Brookes's head and squares up a stiff forearm to the jaw. Rebecca staggers back and teeters on the brink, only to lean back into the momentum and headbutt Sawyer's face! Sawyer stumbles back themself, rocking back on their heels, and brings themself back full force with a headbut of their own. The pace picks up, chop from Brookes, forearm from Sawyer, then another palm strike from Sawyer, then a throat chop from Sawyer! The pace keeps accelerating with Sawyer working up to a machine-like speed, a flurry of blows raining down all over Brookes, who does her best to get a jab in where she can but is mostly forced to defend herself against the onslaught.
Park: This is where Sawyer's lifetime of training comes into play! They may be young, but they've been fighting since they were 14.
Feeling the energy, Sawyer strikes harder and harder, pushing Brookes back against the ropes. Sawyer presses against Brookes, then whips and sends her across the ring with an Irish whip! Brookes hits the ropes and rebounds, coming right back at Sawyer, who starts to get a knee in the air for a knee strike... BUT BROOKES COUNTERS THEM WITH A REBOUNDING SPEAR!
Wright:: The Climb Back!! Brookes is still in this!
Rebecca wastes no time in dragging up Sawyer, dropping an axe handle across their head. Sawyer's here but nobody's home as they swing wildly, blindly, trying to just grab hold of Brookes. Brookes spins around, now behind Sawyer, and chops them across the back of the neck. Sawyer keels over, grabbing at the back of their kneck, which Brookes wastes no time in following up with another club to the back of the head. Brookes moves in closer behind Sawyer, locking them up in a full nelson hold... BEFORE SUPLEXING THEM OVER!
Wright:: WATCH THE THRONE! THIS MIGHT BE IT!
Brookes bridges the suplex into a pin.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING!
Stanford: Here is your winner... Rebecca Brookes!
Brookes just collapses and releases the pin, every ounce of energy compeltely left on the mat.
Wright:: What a contest.
Park: Both Sawyer and Brookes came out here with something to prove.
Wright:: I'd say they proved it, alright.
Ace Sky is seated in a confessional interview promo setting. He has his jet-black hair with the sides shaven in a hippie man bun. His Texas drawl comes out when he gets excited when he talks. He is wearing a black t shirt with his trademark navy blue aviator jacket that is decorated in many accoutrements and badges of science and spiritual emblems, flags where he's been. He looks like a human passport to be honest.
Ace Sky: First off it is very important I explain this, I am neither a scientologist nor astrologist. Carl Sagan's quote put it best: “The desire to be connected with the cosmos reflects a profound reality, but we are connected; not in the trivial ways that astrology promises, but in the deepest ways.”
Ace Sky: Often people wonder what the difference between spirituality and religion is, I can explain spirituality is playing three-dimensional chess with the path to enlightenment while religion, especially organized religion is playing checkers. Religion is based on customs; my family is Jewish there's lots of customs there. You are not allowed to question god in religion. With spirituality you are encouraged to think for yourself and question everything.
Ace Sky: Alan Watts said, "unlearn every day". I live by that. There's a lot to unlearn, there are stereotypes about pro wrestling that just don't fit the mold anymore. Look at me.
He gestures to himself.
Ace Sky: THIS IS WHAT A PRO WRESTLER NOWADAYS LOOKS LIKE . I'm 5'8, 185 lbs, that bothers you? Because it's such a crime to use the ropes and the top rope to do Spiderman style stuff?
Ace Sky: I'm a black belt in Taekwondo, I have an amateur wrestling background and I've been a pro wrestler for 23 years, 28 years if you count my back yard wrestling experience. I've trained in the Japanese style for 17 years, you can chop my chest it won't even leave a mark at all!
Ace Sky: I hold a distinct advantage over everyone in this promotion. Physically, metally, experientially, spiritually even intellectually! I graduated high school at 11 years old.
Ace Sky: I am the interdimensional iconic iconoclast, the Galaxy Guru, so turn on your third eye and get ready for take off with Ace Sky!
Wright: Ace Sky, soaring into FIRESIDE!
Park: He's one of those everything types -- get excited!
Walter Stanford: The following contest is a Tables, Ladders and Hammers match for the FIRESIDE Tag Team Championships!
The fans go wild as the camera focuses on the championship belts hanging above the ring. Tables and upright ladders surround the ring. Two tables joined together at the bottom of the ramp have a collection of sledgehammers sitting on top of them.
Walter Stanford: Introducing the challengers, at a combined weight of 385 pounds, they are ANTHONY CAFFREY... MYOJIN... THE FIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRREEEEE STTTAAAAAAARRRRRRTTTEEERRRRRSSSSSSSSS!
Are you ready?
The lights dim down while the catchy, fast paced rock of RAINBOWS by A9 echoes as a spotlight suddenly appears on a figure on the ramp, with their back turned and begins kneeling. Once the beat finally kicks in, MYOJIN explodes with energy- wearing a masquerade-style mask over their eyes, and turns around with a confident smile on their face, raising their arms to soak in the positive reaction from everyone around.
With their blonde locks hanging over their face. They then whip their head back, flipping their hair out of their face before excitedly running down the ring before performing a cartwheel and a jump, landing on their feet near ringside!
Wright: MYOJIN was actually supposed to be in the Wildfire Championship match before Caffrey chose them as his partner. But they've had the month to adjust and they look ready for this.
Park: I don't know about that. MYOJIN was pissed on Inferno. Who knows if their heart is really in it?
They climb up to the apron, grab a hold of the top rope, and slingshot themselves into the ring. MYOJIN performs a somersault roll, landing on their side with a hand on their hip. The other, taking off their mask to reveal their piercing blue eye contacts. They toss it aside nonchalantly before climbing up the top turnbuckle, tilting their head upward as if they’re looking toward the sky- while the lights mimic stars above. They backflip off, back onto their feet while taking off their flamboyant coat and moving to their corner. The lights go back to normal as they check their wrist tape. Their charismatic smile fading to a more focused expression as they pace back and forth, ready for action.
"My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark" hits the arena speakers and a loud pop from the crowd comes soon after. It only gets louder in the arena as the man himself passes through the curtain and holds his XHF Tag Team Championship up for the whole crowd to see. His look of pride indicates that these fans tonight are his people. His black and purple tights have a Purple Emperor on the back, a symbol representing the tag team of the same name.
Wright: Caffrey has been waiting for this for a long time. He finally gets to go to war with Kanyon, and he couldn't have picked a better partner.
Park: But MYOJIN doesn't care about Kanyon. I don't see how they're going to work together. Especially against a team as experienced as the champions.
Once Caffrey makes it down to the ring, giving his best version of a socially-distanced fist bump to as many fans as possible, his mood changes when he reaches the ring steps. He climbs in the ring and locks eyes with MYOJIN. He offers his fist to them and they respond with a quick cursory bump. MYOJIN is focused on the stage and what's to come, while Caffrey hands his glasses off to the timekeeper. Caffrey starts to look a little apprehensive as he talks to MYOJIN, trying to gauge their mood. MYOJIN only nods, not taking their eyes off the stage.
Walter Stanford: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 489 pounds, they are the FIRESIDE Tag Team Champions, CURTIS KANYON... EL COMBATIENTE... EEELLLLL BAAAAAANNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG HEERRRMAAAAAAAANNOOOOOOOOOSS!
A DJ Marshmello crafted mash up of The Game’s “One Blood” and Metallica's "Don't Tread on Me" plays over the PA as Curtis and El Combatiente emerge from the entryway. Curtis also has a sledgehammer over one shoulder. They look around soaking up there surrounding. Curtis hoists his hammer into the air. El Combatiente breaks into a full sprint for the ring and slides in. He stretches in the ring preparing for the match to begin as Curtis climbs a turnbuckle and points to the crowd with his hammer, then hoists it straight up into the air and yells "BANG!"
Wright: Earlier this month Kanyon's reign reached the one year mark. He has completely dominated the tag division this year, even winning the XHF Tag Championships.
Park: And El Combatiente has been a huge factor in that since he joined him in July.
Wright: Kanyon has been making Caffrey's life hell this year, mostly using tables and sledgehammers to do it. That might all end tonight.
Park: El Combatiente is all in with Kanyon on this though. Let's see if MYOJIN can say the same.
When Kanyon gets down from the turnbuckle, he joins El Combatiente and the two teams stare at each other as the bell rings. With Kanyon still holding the sledgehammer, Caffrey and MYOJIN quickly realise the danger and rush Kanyon, taking him off guard. Kanyon drops the hammer as the two of them pummel him with fists. El Combatiente runs over to break it up. MYOJIN turns to meet him and the two start trading quick punches. Combatiente cuts MYOJIN off with a European uppercut, then hits an arm drag. MYOJIN waits for Combatiente to start running then evades his clothesline with a backwards bridge. Combatiente keeps up speed and hits the ropes, bounces back and runs into a huge shoot kick to the waist.
Wright: The Firestarters are looking great! What were you saying?
Park: It's early.
Combatiente clutches his gut while Caffrey keeps Kanyon at bay in the corner with urgent stomps. MYOJIN delivers another roundhouse to the hip, then the back of his thigh, causing him to fall into a sitting position. They continue to kick Combatiente, alternating between his chest and his back, then run to the ropes. They bounce back with a penalty kick but Combatiente falls back to dodge it. He kicks MYOJIN's leg as he gets up then hits another European uppercut. He runs to the ropes as MYOJIN recovers. MYOJIN goes for a kick but Combatiente catches their boot. MYOJIN breaks free with a high-impact knife edge chop. MYOJIN takes a second to recover their balance and is almost hit in the face with a superkick. This time MYOJIN catches El Combatiente's boot. They whirl him around 360; Combatiente just barely managing to not fall over. MYOJIN jumps up and corkscrews, kicking the back of the stunned Combatiente's head with Love, from Osaka!
Wright: They got him! The Firestarters have a chance here!
With Caffrey still in control of Kanyon in the corner, MYOJIN yells at him to keep going and slides out of the ring. They grab a ladder, slide in the ring and quickly set it up.
Wright: Here we go!
Park: I don't believe it!
MYOJIN has only just started climbing when Kanyon manages to overpower Caffrey and stun him with a headbutt. He pushes past him to pull MYOJIN down and hits them with a powerful forearm. MYOJIN fires back with a series of shoot kicks, backing Kanyon up to the ropes. Kanyon struggles for breath as MYOJIN runs to the far ropes, then comes back with a rider kick to his face sending him over the ropes to the floor!
Wright: They sent him flying with one kick!
Park: Watch out!
MYOJIN turns around and is crushed by a ladder held by El Combatiente. MYOJIN looks to be knocked out on the mat. Combatiente sets the ladder up and starts to shoot up it but Caffrey grabs him, pulling him away with the Dreams and Nightmares full nelson. Combatiente flails around desperately but the hold is locked in tight. He starts to fade, but Caffrey notices Kanyon climb up onto the apron holding a sledgehammer.
Wright: Uh oh.
Park: What now, Caffrey?
Caffrey pushes Combatiente away then runs to Kanyon and takes his leg out with a baseball slide. Kanyon buckles but remains on the apron while the hammer falls to the floor outside. Caffrey climbs through the ropes and stomps Kanyon until he's lying on his back. He then picks up Kanyon's boot and hits a foot DDT on the apron!
Park: No!
Wright: He might have just taken Kanyon out of the match!
Caffrey gets back in the ring and sees the ladder in perfect position. Combatiente is struggling back to his feet, almost recovered from the full nelson. MYOJIN is still lying on the mat, conscious but badly hurt from the ladder shot. Caffrey looks from the ladder to MYOJIN, unsure what to do.
Wright: What's Caffrey thinking?!
Park: He doesn't know if he can trust them!
He starts to move towards Combatiente but Combatiente springs into action with a running forearm. He folds the ladder, then holds it up high and rams the top of it into Caffrey's head. After Caffrey falls Combatiente throws the ladder over the top rope.
Park: That's a man who knows what he's doing!
Combatiente looks wildly back and forth between Caffrey and MYOJIN, weighing up his options. MYOJIN has almost made it to their feet, so Combatiente grabs their head looking for Sliced Bread. MYOJIN pushes him away with force. When Combatiente turns around, MYOJIN makes a dive for his leg, circling him then holding him by his boot. They look like they're going for a dragon screw. Combatiente tries to counter with an enzuigiri but MYOJIN ducks. MYOJIN runs to the ropes, bounces back and ducks Combatiente's clothesline. They come back again and get their head taken off with a huge dropkick.
Wright: Beautiful dropkick!
Park: Let's go!
MYOJIN looks to be out cold. Combatiente looks up at the belts, then at Caffrey. Caffrey is on all fours, just starting to get up. Combatiente quickly jumps through the ropes to the apron and climbs the turnbuckle. He jumps off with a double stomp to Caffrey's back. After bouncing down to the mat, he immediately backflips to hit a moonsault.
Wright: Both Firestarters are down!
Combatiente yells at Kanyon to give him a ladder. Kanyon is still in severe pain from the foot DDT but already has a ladder in hand and promptly slides it under the rope. Combatiente sets it up and climbs it.
Wright: What a play! El BANG Hermanos!
Park: IT'S OVER!
MYOJIN starts to get up but Combatiente is inches away from the belts. MYOJIN makes a sudden dive into the ladder, knocking it over. Combatiente goes with it, before jumping off onto the ropes and bouncing onto the floor outside.
Park: How close can you get?!
Wright: It continues!
Kanyon folds up a table and brings it into the ring. He kicks MYOJIN hard in the gut then sets up the table. He puts MYOJIN's head between his legs, lifts them into the air and shatters the table with a stiff powerbomb! The edges of the table go flying off in either direction.
Wright: Powerbomb! There goes the first table!
Kanyon doesn't seem satisfied with that, as he lifts MYOJIN back to their feet. The Shining Star is unresponsive as Kanyon again puts their head between his legs. This time he hits a sitout piledriver, spiking MYOJIN's head into the mat.
Park: Kanyon wants to put MYOJIN to sleep!
Kanyon leaves the ring to get another table. Once back inside he leans it against the corner, near where Caffrey is lying. Kanyon backs up in the opposite corner.
Wright: We know what's coming now.
As soon as Caffrey is upright Kanyon starts running towards him, but Caffrey does the same and meets him head on with the bullhammer!
Wright: Closing Remarks! Kanyon is out!
Caffrey tries to lift the ladder leaning against the ropes but El Combatiente is waiting on the outside. He pulls Caffrey out of the ring, then grabs his head and throws him into the side of the ladder standing nearest them. The ladder goes tumbling to the ground but Combatiente quickly lies it flat. He grabs Caffrey's head and snap suplexes him onto the ladder! The crowd gasps as Caffrey yells in pain.
Wright: That looked like it hurt...
Park: No kidding.
In the ring, MYOJIN is back up. They grab the table in the corner, lift it above their head and with a running start throw it at El Combatiente! It sails high towards his head but he ducks just in time.
Wright: El Combatiente avoids death!
Not to be stopped, MYOJIN baseball slides their way out of the ring and gets into a frantic fist fight with Combatiente. MYOJIN goes for a spinning back fist but midway through Combatiente spears them into the apron. He grabs MYOJIN's head and hits a DDT on the floor. He rolls them back-first onto the bent ladder he suplexed Caffrey onto.
Wright: Oh no.
Park: Go, El Combatiente!
Combatiente gets on the apron then climbs to the top turnbuckle. He primes himself, then spins towards MYOJIN with the 630! Combatiente's back lands flat on the ladder!
Park: No!
Wright: That was sick.
Park: He just took himself out of the match...
With all four down, the crowd cheer and clap for The Firestarters. MYOJIN is the first to stir. They start to get up but as they do Kanyon slides out of the ring. Kanyon picks up speed then dives towards MYOJIN with the BANG! Kanyon connects with MYOJIN's side, taking them in the direction of the table they threw out. The other side of their body smacks into the folded table!
Wright/Park: BANG!
Kanyon looks at the sledgehammers laying on the two joined tables. He picks one up but lets it go when he hears the crowd cheering. The camera turns to see Caffrey on his feet, apparently having just kipped up.
Wright: Not so fast!
Caffrey hits Kanyon with a huge right. Kanyon responds with a sickening headbutt. The move sends Caffrey reeling, but he somehow picks himself up and hits Kanyon with another right. Then another, and another. Kanyon again responds with a headbutt. The crowd gasp as Caffrey seems to be badly hurt, but before long he makes a wild grab for Kanyon's waist and charges him into the table, sending it and the sledgehammers flying and both men roughly crashing to the floor.
Wright: They look like they want to kill each other!
Park: This is great!
Kanyon and Caffrey get to their feet as fast as they can. Kanyon is holding a sledgehammer and swings it at Caffrey's head. Caffrey ducks, grabs Kanyon in a waistlock and spears him into the barricade. He backs up, then runs straight at Kanyon. Kanyon kicks him in the gut.
Park: He was going for the Closing Remarks!
Kanyon bends over to pick up another hammer but once upright is met with a slap to the face. Caffrey slaps Kanyon over and over until he drops the hammer, then keeps going! When he stops the right side of Kanyon's face is bright red. He's still standing but looks numb to the world. Caffrey grabs the fallen table and sets it up. He tries to lay Kanyon on it but Kanyon suddenly wakes up and hits a third headbutt. He grabs Caffrey and takes him up onto the apron with him. Caffrey hits Kanyon with a right. Kanyon hits back with a fourth headbutt. Kanyon puts Caffrey in the Pedigree position, then hits the Canadian Destroyer through the table!
Wright: The World Breaker through the table!
Park: Holy hell.
All four wrestlers are down once again. Caffrey is completely knocked out. Kanyon is holding his head in pain, still hurt from the slaps and headbutts. MYOJIN and El Combatiente are awake but too hurt to move. As the three conscious wrestlers try to get up, the crowd cheer MYOJIN's name. Kanyon is the first to make it up, and starts to climb into the ring. MYOJIN forces themselves to get up with everything they have and is close behind.
Wright: MYOJIN will not give up!
Park: They want it! They really want it!
Kanyon takes the ladder leaning against the ropes and sets it up in the middle of the ring. He starts to climb as MYOJIN makes it into the ring. MYOJIN climbs the other side, and manages to do it faster with great effort. They reach the top at the same time. Kanyon reaches for the belts but is stopped with a punch. MYOJIN keeps punching but it has little effect. Kanyon eventually stops MYOJIN with a headbutt.
Wright: It's over!
Park: Take it Kanyon!
MYOJIN manages to withstand the blow and butts Kanyon with their own head! The crowd cheer as MYOJIN grimaces in pain. Kanyon starts to reach for the belts again, so MYOJIN hits another one!
Wright: MYOJIN!
MYOJIN quickly slides down the ladder and tries to push it over. As soon as it starts to move, Kanyon starts climbing down then hops onto the mat. MYOJIN hits him with a spinning back fist, then another. Kanyon falls to his knees, then MYOJIN spins around with a rolling savate kick, knocking him out!
Wright: Kiss and Tell!
MYOJIN starts slowly climbing the ladder.
Park: El Combatiente's on the apron!
El Combatiente springboards off the top rope onto MYOJIN's back, latching onto the ladder. He's higher up than MYOJIN, but instead of climbing he wraps his legs around their head and jumps backwards with a spiking poisonrana!
Wright: Head first!
Park: El Combatiente just saved the titles!
Combatiente lands cleanly but is still hurt from the 630. He struggles to climb the ladder. The crowd cheer as Caffrey slides under the bottom rope. He grabs Combatiente's ankle and locks in The Process! Combatiente is in agony but keeps climbing. Before he can make it to the belts, Caffrey lets go of his ankle to grab his leg and drag him down. Combatiente lands on the mat with one leg and Caffrey holding the other. Caffrey dragon screws him and tries to lock in The Process again.
Wright: He wants to break his ankle!
Park: He can't get it in!
Combatiente rolls onto his back and kicks Caffrey away. Caffrey goes backing into the ropes, and Combatiente tackle him through them onto the apron. Both men fall to the floor.
Park: What a move! He's cleared the path for Kanyon!
As Kanyon starts moving towards the ladder, Combatiente tries to restrain Caffrey. Caffrey manages to break free and shoves him into the barricade. He runs around the ring, picks up a sledgehammer and slides inside. As Kanyon starts to climb Caffrey swings the hammer into his back!
Park: No!
Wright: Payback!
Kanyon cries out in pain and falls to the mat. Combatiente comes back in and Caffrey runs at him with a clothesline. Combatiente ducks and hooks Caffrey's arms. He lifts him into the air then hits the Vertibreaker!
Wright: Street Justice!
Park: MYOJIN is up!
Combatiente starts to climb but MYOJIN quickly pulls him back down! When face-to-face, MYOJIN hooks their leg through Combatiente's leg.
Wright: Chōshinsei-Gatame!
MYOJIN is about to roll into the calf slicer, but before they can Combatiente shoves them down to the mat hard, then hits a double stomp! Combatiente starts climbing the ladder as fast as he can with all he's got.
Park: He's going to do it!
Combatiente reaches the belts and unhooks them. The bell rings.
Walter Stanford: Your winners, AND STIIILLLLLLLL TAG TEAM CHAMPIOOOOOONNNNNSSS, EEELLLLL BAAAAANNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG HEERRRMAAAAAAANNOOOOOOOOSS!
He raises the belts in the air, as MYOJIN slowly gets to their feet. Kanyon and Caffrey are still down.
Wright: The champions' epic reign continues! What an effort by all involved!
El Combatiente climbs down the ladder and together with a referee checks on Kanyon. He's unable to stand and has to be helped out of the ring.
Wright: El BANG! Hermanos have an iron grip on those titles. Love them or hate them they are one of the best tag teams in the world. They went through hell tonight.
Park: And The Firestarters. They surprised me. They brought it to the champions and were within an inch of winning. I hope we get to see them team together again.
Stanford: The following triple threat match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the FIRESIDE Spark Championship!
The crowd loudly cheers the action that is about to happen, the history between the three men who are about to compete adding an extra weight to the proceedings.
Stanford: Introducing first, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 215 pounds, he is...DOOOOOOOOOONZIIIIIIG!
The lights go down, and then come up an angry red. Flames explode from the eithr side of the ramp, jets and bursts of flame erupting into the air. Donzig walks from the back, wearing his skull mask with his hood up. He pauses, glaring out across the crowd before he shakes his head before walking down the ramp slowly. He circles around the ring, still watching the crowd before pausing to watch the announce team before he climbs the stairs. He stops at the ropes, reaching up to shove his hood back before stepping through the ropes. Then he takes off the mask, and shakes his head at the fans with a scowl before he leans back in his corner. Arms resting on the ropes while waiting for the match to start.
Wright: Donzig has been an interloper in the Spark Championship scene for far too long, and I for one hope he gets his comeuppance tonight.
Park: While his methods are far from honorable, there's no denying the results they've gotten. If I were Felix and Vodka Fizz, I'd be out to eliminate him from the equation as soon as possible.
Stanford: Next, from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 250 pounds, he is the Warrior... FEEEEELIIIIIIX!
The lights go out as Felix's music, The Pledge of the Demon, starts up... leaving the stage completely black. As his music picks up a spotlight shines down onto Felix, who is facing away from the ring so the camera can focus on the intricate tattoo of a wolf in the Oriental style emblazed across his back.He turns as the camera moves back, a string of Buddist Mala Beads around his neck, his eyes focusing on the ring as spotlights roam over the crowd--
Wright: LOOK OUT!
--before a clubbing blow from behind knocks Felix to the ground! Venomous boos flood the air as Felix's music is cut off, a group of Donzig's henchmen surrounding the NLW competitor as they beat him down. In the middle of the ring, the mastermind behind the attack can be seen shouting encouragement, the boos growing louder in response.
Wright: This is disgusting! Donzig should be ashamed of himself!
Park: You're worried about what's going on out here, but I can't help but wonder if the same thing isn't happening to our Spark champion backstage!
As trainers and security finally get Donzig's men off of Felix, Donzig can be seen smirking evilly as Stanford announces his final opponent--
Stanford: And now, from Daytona Beach, Florida, weighing in at 220 pounds, he is the reigning FIRESIDE Spark Champion... VOOOOOODKAAAAA FIIIIIIIIIZZ!
--right up until Vodka Fizz comes hurtling out from behind the curtain on his signature golf cart, literally using his vehicle as a weapon to clear his path to ringside! There's some damage done to the speakers on it, but Vodka doesn't seem to care as he slams on the brakes, hat and sunglasses flung aside and his jacket ripped off as he exits his battered and beaten ride, the Spark Championship removed with hasty care before Vodka shoves it into the timekeeper's hands, his expression one of well-earned rage.
Wright: I have never seen Vodka Fizz this incensed!
Park: Me neither, but it looks like that might be playing into Donzig's hands!
The bell rings as the champion charges into the ring, then right at Donzig as Felix is carted off by trainers and medical staff. Donzig was expecting this--maybe even inviting it--and catches the champion with a jumping knee that sends Vodka reeling. Donzig nails several stiff punches to push Vodka to the ropes, but Vodka reverses the Irish Whip. Donzig attempts a Lou Thesz press, but Vodka side steps at the last moment to catch him with a nasty looking Crescent Kick. Donzig falls in a heap, but scrambles to get back up. Vodka peppers him with low roundhouse kicks while he's getting up, but when Fizz backs into the ropes for lariat momentum, Donzig hits him with the Lou Thesz press he wanted earlier and starts blasting him with as many mounted punches as Melanie Davenport will let him have. Melanie looks on, not appreciating what she's seeing, but she does not interfere. Eventually Vodka manages to shoves Donzig off and rolls toward the ropes as the challenger stands up, arms wide and arrogance radiating off of him. Boos resonate throughout the arena as Donzig looks down at his handiwork.
Wright: Is Donzig capable of wrestling a clean match?!
Park: I'm not sure, but I don't think he cares. All he cares about are the results!
Donzig pursues Fizz into the ropes, despite the official's protestations. (After all, she can't disqualify Donzig, but it's her job to make sure Vodka can still fight.) But the champ spots an opening and whips around behind Donzig, pulling him down in a School Boy roll-up!
...ONE!
...TWO!
...Donzig pushes himself out of the roll-up.
He rolls himself upright, eyes wide with anger, but as he charges Vodka to punish him for his insolence, he gets blasted by a lariat instead! Vodka falls on Donzig, who rolls over and turtles to prevent him from being able to grab any limbs for any submissions, but Vodka just shrugs before jumping up and hitting a standing senton on Donzig's back. Donzig's back arches and Vodka grabs for an arm, but Donzig scrambles towards the ropes. Again, no rope breaks, but he can't lose if he's outside the ring. He gets to the ropes before Vodka can lock in anything, so Vodka lets him go, pushing himself up slowly and feeling at his face to see if he's bleeding.
Wright: I thought Vodka would be able to feel his face now that he's given up drinking, but Donzig might have him feeling punchdrunk!
Park: I think it's more likely that he's checking to see if he's busted open.
He is. But very slightly. Vodka waits as Donzig pulls himself up. He knows Donzig wouldn't let him get out, so he charges in, throwing a roundhouse kick. Donzig was watching for it and ducks back, but when he comes forward to capitalize, Vodka spins around and throws a spinning wheel kick that blasts him over the top rope and down to ringside! The crowd cheers as Vodka takes a second to nurse the laceration on his forehead.
Wright: Stay on him! Don't give Donzig a moment to breathe!
Park: You don't need to tell him that twice! As much as these two have faced off, they're both very familiar with how the other ticks by now, I'm sure.
Not content to let Donzig rest, Vodka follows him out of the ring. Donzig is pulling himself up on the barricade, so Vodka goes for a charging knee, but he only hits the barricade as Donzig dives out of the way. And as he's clutching his knee, Donzig swoops in, grabs Vodka's arm, and whips him with all his might into the ring steps, which dislodge with the impact of Vodka's shoulder. More boos rain down as Donzig stalks the champion. He stands over him on the ring steps before grabbing Vodka's head, hooking him and dropping him in a DDT on the bottom half of the ring steps! Vodka's head doesn't travel as far as a full DDT....but it is still a DDT onto steel, and the tiny laceration is now less tiny. While Vodka's reeling, Donzig lifts him up and shoves him into the ring. He then climbs up to the apron, but goes to the top rope instead of in the ring. Vodka is still stunned, so Donzig leaps off the turnbuckle and drops a big elbow drop across his neck and throat, earning more hatred from the FIRESIDE fans. He goes for his first pin attempt.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...TH--Vodka rolls his shoulder up, and the crowd cheers.
Wright: Donzig's got to be frustrated, but Vodka Fizz is called the heart of FIRESIDE for a reason!
Park: He very well may be, but hearts can break--and Donzig's not above using every dirty trick in the book to get the job done!
Donzig runs a hand over his forehead before standing up. Vodka is starting to stir and is pulling himself toward a corner to help pull himself up, but Donzig has a better idea. After stomping him a couple of times, Donzig starts lifting him up. Vodka throws a few punches to try and fend Donzig off, but Donzig sandwiches him into the buckles with a series of elbow smashes. Then he lifts Vodka up to the top rope and the murmurs start as Donzig starts climbing up after him. Donzig starts trying to hook Vodka for a superplex or similar move, but for some reason, the crowd starts cheering? Vodka clings to the top rope as Donzig tries to lift him, and the two men fight back and forth, Vodka hitting body blows under Donzig's left arm and Donzig clubbing Vodka in the back. After about ten seconds, the cheers grow louder...
Wright: What's going on--
Park: No way!
A wounded but still proud Felix has come back out to finish the fight! Vodka lands one more body blow that forces Donzig down, and about half a second after he lands on his feet, knees jolting as he lands, Felix grabs him around the neck and whips him over in the Saka Otoshi throw! The crowd cheers as Felix attempts to lock in a rear naked choke, but then Vodka comes flying off the top rope in a cannonball senton to crush both! Felix recoils violently, still feeling the effects of the pre-match assault, which leaves Donzig below for a pin attempt.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR--Donzig kicks out! So Vodka tries to put Felix out of his misery.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THR--Felix kicks out also! Vodka rolls his eyes, but otherwise keeps his composure as he starts pushing himself up.
Wright: While I can appreciate his valor, Felix should have probably let discretion guide him tonight!
Park: If the Harrisburg native can keep the adrenaline going, he may just have a shot here!
The three men are all pushing themselves up slowly, and after about ten seconds, the three of them are all upright and staring each other down in a Mexican standoff. Donzig sneers at both while Felix glares at him. Vodka would normally side with Felix, but he also has a title to consider, so he's not inclined to show favoritism so easily. But the heat between Felix and Donzig goes back further than this match, so it's no surprise when the two clash. Donzig starts off with the advantage, but after a few haymakers, Felix's face screws up in anger, and he starts lashing out with Tiger Palms in retaliation. After a few seconds, Felix starts pushing Donzig back, now combining the Tiger strikes with knife-edge chops, using the follow-through of one to wind up for the other. Just before he would be up against the ropes, Donzig jukes past Felix to run the ropes, but he gets caught with a bicycle knee kick!
Wright: That's got to be satisfying! As much as Donzig has meddled, Felix has given him a measure of karma tonight!
Park: But Donzig's not the only foe Felix has to worry about!
Donzig collapses like a sack of potatoes, but Felix also drops to one knee afterwards, the pre-match beating catching up to him. Before he can capitalize, he feels himself being pulled up in a double chickenwing as Vodka is trying to turn him over for the Mind Eraser! Felix tenses up as he struggles, trying to block Vodka's take on the Unprettier, but he doesn't have enough left after the beatdown, and Vodka drops him in the middle of the ring. Vodka rolls him over onto his back to pin him before Donzig can recover from the Uchi-sute.
...ONE!
...TWO!
...THREE! The bell rings as Vodka quickly spins into a three-quarter stance, as though to pounce if Donzig tries any funny business.
Stanford: Here is your winner and STILL the FIRESIDE Spark Champion....VODKA FIZZ!
Wright: This match was pure chaos at points, but Vodka Fizz has survived to fight another day!
Park: Arguably, the bad blood between Felix and Donzig cost them both the win tonight, bringing Vodka within striking distance of cashing in on an opportunity at the FIRESIDE World Championship... but will he cash in if Natalie Burrows retains?
Walter Stanford is in the ring, and the crowd cheers for him.
Stanford: Ladies and gentlemen! The following contest is tonight’s second main event, and is for the FIRESIDE World Championship!
The crowd roars.
Stanford: Introducing the challenger, From Alsace-Lorraine, France, and weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds, she is…. AAAAAPAAAAATHYYYYY!!!!
"I love you...now die"
The haunting distorted voice of SKYND fills the arena, red smoke billowing up from the stage as the lights go down, bathing the arena in a sea of red. Apathy emerges at the top of the ramp, rising from under it arms stretched out wide on either side. Her head tilted back looking up at the single red light beaming down on her, basking in the glow. As the bass kicks in she drops her arms and raises her head on time with the beat and makes her way to the ring.
Wright: Apathy has been on a tear lately, and she has been vocal in her dislike of our current world champion.
Park: Not to mention, this is what she says is her last hurrah, and what better way to go out than on top?
Apathy reaches the ring, and her music dies.
Stanford: And her opponent! From Durham, North Carolina, and weighing in at one hundred and sixty-five pounds, she is the reigning FIRESIDE World Champion, NAAATAAALIE BURROWS!!!!
I can finally breathe again.
The distorted opening lyrics of 'Breathe Again' plays as the overhead lights dim, the sequence of notes following it triggering coral-colored lights to pulse in time... and when the guitars and drums combine to form an explosion of noise? Every light in the arena as well as the tron goes blinding white--and when it fades back to normal a few seconds later? Natalie Burrows is standing at the top of the ramp, the crowd cheering for the Southern Belle as she looks out over the fans with the FIRESIDE World Championship around her waist. A nod of acknowledgement is given. As video footage plays of some of her hardest-hitting moments in the ring, Natalie makes her way down to the ring, slapping the hands of the fans here and there, but her focus is on the ring. Speeding up at the bottom of the ramp, the Southern Belle slides into the ring, rolling onto her back before kipping up to her feet. The nearest turnbuckle is mounted as she looks out over the crowd, removing the title and holding it aloft with one hand to evoke more cheers. She lingers there for a few moments before hopping down, turning the FIRESIDE World Championship over to a P.A. before doing a couple stretches to prepare for the match at hand.
Wright: Natalie Burrows has been a force to be reckoned with since her arrival in FIRESIDE.
Park: She beat MAJESTY. That’s nothing to sneeze at.
Wright: This should be a great contender for match of the night.
Park: I will definitely agree with that.
As soon as the referee rings the bell, Apathy gets in Burrows face. The two women exchange tense words, and Apathy slaps Burrows in the face. Burrows looks shocked for an instant, but comes back with a teeth-shivering slap of her own.
Wright: Natalie Burrows responds to a blatant show of disrespect with one of her own!
Park: No love lost between these two, Ollie.
Apathy locks up a collar-and-elbow with Burrows and bodily hurls her into the corner. The challenger comes in after the champion and nails a shotgun dropkick, following up with an attempt at the Death Before Dishonor, but Burrows hooks her legs and takes her to the mat with a double-leg takedown.
Park: Apathy looking to put the champ away early.
Wright: She’s sure to understand soon why Burrows is the world champion, though,
Both women are quick to their feet and they run the ropes. Burrows ducks a clothesline from Apathy, then comes back with one of her own, knocking the other woman out of the ring. Apathy glares at Burrows, who simply calls for her to come back into the ring, going so far as to offer to hold the ropes. Apathy snarls and dives back into the ring. She throws several clumsy blows at Burrows, who ducks them, and the champion hooks up the challenger in a headlock, turning it into a headlock takeover.
Wright: Nice move from the champ!
Park: Same as Apathy, though, Burrows has to know that she can’t take it too easy on Apathy. This is a woman who has consistently proven to be a stumbling block for numerous superstars.
Burrows holds the headlock, and Apathy rolls her over for a pin attempt.
ONE!
TWO!!
Kickout!!!
Wright: Burrows releases the headlock to kickout!
Park: Like I said, Apathy is not a force to be taken lightly.
Wright: Miss Borrows has proven so far to be a capable champion, but if there’s one person on the roster that could derail her, it would likely be Elizabether Deveraux-O’Rourke.
Burrows and Apathy break apart and run to the corners. Apathy flips over the top to run the apron. Burrows catches her with a running knee strike then hooks her up for a vertical suplex. Apathy is up, but she lands on her feet and she shoves Burrows into the ropes, catching the champion in a spinning power slam!
Wright: A brutal power slam to the champion!
Park: I would hazard a guess that that didn’t feel very good.
Apathy goes for the pin!
ONE!
Kickout!!
Wright: Kickout with authority from the FIRESIDE Champion!
Park: Burrows still has a lot of gas left in the tank.
Burrows plants her feet on Apathy’s chest and kicks her away. Both women are quick to their feet. It looks like Apathy is a little quicker, but Burrows catches her and nails a snapmare driver. Burrows goes for the pinfall!
ONE!
TWO!!
THR-Kickout!!
Wright: Close two for the champion!
Park: These two are really laying it all out so far. But I wonder how long they can keep this pace up?
Burrows hauls Apathy to her feet, but Apathy counters with a jawbreaker. She whips the champion into the ropes, racing after her and clotheslining Burrows out of the ring. Burrows lands on her feet. Apathy goes for a baseball slide, but Burrows catches Apathy, powerbombing her to the floor.
Wright: My god!
Park: That’s got to be in my top five favorite counters of 2022.
Burrows hauls Apathy up off the floor and tosses her into the ring, following her in and going for a pinfall!
ONE!
Kickout!!!
Park: Kickout from the challenger!
Apathy rolls Burrows into a small package for another pinfall attempt!
ONE!
TWO!!
Kickout!!
Wright: …And Apathy takes advantage of Burrows positioning to get a two count!
Park: The champ can;t make mistakes like that if she wants to keep her belt.
Burrows is the first to her feet, but Apathy isn’t far behind and lunges at her for a football tackle. Burrows counters with a hip toss into an Indian Deathlock! Apathy cries out in pain, struggling to do something to escape, but it looks like she may be trapped!
Wright: Apathy may have no choice but to tap!
Park: Burrows is taking advantage of that bad knee to take a step from Apathy. Great ring psychology from the champ.
Wright: Too right, UnJoo.
The referee is watching Apathy as she tries to fight her way free. It looks like the challenger is fading, but somehow she rallies and manages to get a hand under the ropes. The referee calls for the break, which Burrows acquiesces to immediately. No sooner does she break the hold, though, does she drag Apathy back to the center of the ring and try to hook in the Indian Deathlock again. This time Apathy has it scouted and she counters into a pin attempt that Burrows kicks out of before the referee can start the count.
Wright: Another pinfall attempt from Apathy, but this one dies before it even had a chance to live.
Park: Apathy needs to keep up the pressure.
Burrows kips up to her feet, only to be caught by Apathy with a brutal clothesline. Apathy hauls Burrows up off the mat by the waist and hits a release german suplex, hurling the champion into the corner and follows it up with a running dropkick. Apathy hauls Burrows to her feet and lifts her onto the top turnbuckle, setting up for a super vertical suplex, but Burrows twists and lands on her feet, countering with a delayed vertical suplex.
Wright: What a counter!
Park: Really nice move from the Southern Belle.
Rather than go for the pin, Burrows pulls Apathy up into a sitting position, hitting a series of stiff kicks to the challenger’s back. She finally lets Apathy drop to the mat, running to the ropes and springboarding off for a leg drop, but Apathy rolls out of the way. Burrows crashes to the mat and knocks the wind out of herself.
Wright: Burrows got the worst of that one.
Park: Apathy had that pretty well scouted.
Apathy is first to her feet, crouching in the corner while Burrows writhes on the mat. Burrows eventually gets back to her feet, just in time to be blasted by a running clothesline from Apathy. The challenger hauls her up, whips her into the ropes and hits another clothesline, then follows up with a third.
Wright: Apathy keeping up the pressure on the champion.
Park: If she keeps this up, then Apathy is going to leave tonight as the new World Champion.
Burrows uses the ropes to pull herself back to her feet, trying to shake off the cobwebs. Apathy uses the ropes to hit a springboard cutter for a pinfall attempt!
ONE!
TWO!!
THRE- Kickout!!
Apathy rolls away from Burrows, a wide smirk appearing on her face as she waits for the champion to start to get to her feet. Burrows has only made it to her hands and knees before Apathy devastates her with a scissors kick!
Wright: Closure from Apathy to Burrows!
Park: Apathy is looking to add insult to injury by beating the champ with her own move!
Before Apathy can take advantage, Burrows rolls out of the ring, barely managing to stay on her feet outside the ring. Apathy hits a suicide dive on Burrows on the outside. She then goes for a suplex into the ring apron, but Burrows reverses it into a suplex of her own, dropping Apathy across the crowd barrier and into the crowd. Burrows pulls her out of the crowd and tosses her into the ring. Apathy fights her way back to her feet. Burrows goes for the Closure, but Apathy has the sense to drop down to escape. Apathy comes off the ropes and ionto a sharp kick to the abdomen, and this time Burrows nails the Closure.
Wright: …And Burrows comes back with a devastating Closure of her own!
The champion goes for the pinfall!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE-NO!!! Kickout!!
Park: Apathy digs deep to kick out at the last possible instant!
Wright: These two women aren’t letting up!
Burrows looks surprised, then a shadow of a grin appears on her face. She pulls Apathy up and Apathy is out of her feet. Burrows throws Apathy into the corner, charging in after her with a clothesline that almost knocks Apathy out of the ring. Burrows lifts Apathy up onto the top rope, setting up a reverse avalanche suplex. It looks like the champion is going to get all of it, but Apathy manages to land on her feet, and grabs Burrows into a fireman’s carry. Burrows struggles free and bounds off the rope for a springboard elbow, but Apathy catches her in the fireman’s carry position again and nails a DQD!
Wright: Dynast-Queen Driver!
Park: Looks like the last thing that went through Burrow’s mind is Apathy’s knee.
Apathy considers going for the pin, but picks Burrows up, setting up the Death Before Dishonor! Burrows looks to be out of it, and Apathy gets all of it!
Wright: And Apathy with an exclamation point!
Park: Looks like we have a new champion!
Apathy goes for the pin, a wide grin on her face in anticipation of winning the FIRESIDE World Championship.
ONE!
TWO!!
THRE-Kickout!!
Wright: Burrows kicks out!
Park: Apathy has to be furious!
Apathy looks stunned. But she goes for the pin again.
ONE!
TWO!!
TH-Kickout!!
Wright: Apathy tries again with the same result!
Park: Seems like the challenger is getting desperate!
Apathy slams her hands on the mat, shouting at the referee that he’s counting to slow. She hauls the champion up to her feet, setting up for another Death Before Dishonor, but Burrows plants her feet and shoves the challenger into the ropes, catching Apathy with Hitting Bottom!
Wright: And the champion counters with a brutal Hitting Bottom!
Park: That Rydeen Bomb has won a lot of matches! And after these two have fought a war it just might be enough to end this match!
Burrows goes for a pinfall attempt!
ONE!
TWO!!
THRE-Kickout!
Burrows looks amazed that Apathy has survived, but there is a measure of excitement in the air as she crouches near the ropes, waiting for Apathy to get to her feet. Apathy struggles, but only manages to find her feet in time to get nailed with the Closure!
Wright: Another Closure from Burrows!
Park: But it looks like Apathy is still kicking!
Burrows hesitates before going for the pin as Apathy struggles to get back to her feet, screaming at nothing. Apathy only manages to get to her hands and knees before Burrows catches her with another brutal Closure!
Wright: And that HAS to be it!
Burrows goes for the pinfall! The crowd counts along with the referee!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
Wright: Natalie Burrows has overcome Apathy to retain the FIRESIDE world championship!
Park: Neither one of these two can be disappointed in their performance tonight. They fought an absolute war tonight, and I think I speak for everyone when I say that I hope we get a chance to see it again.
The referee raises Burrows hand in victory to a thunderous reaction from the fans, and Burrows climbs the turnbuckle to hold the Fireside championship over her head.
Stanford: The winner of this match by pinfall, and STILL the FIRESIDE World Champion..... NATALIE BURROWS!!!!
The crowd celebrates with the champion while she hugs the belt to her chest. Apathy stares angrily at the Southern Belle from the corner, where she is seated against the turnbuckle looking miserable. Burrows jumps down off the turnbuckle and offers a hand to the challenger, who glares at her for a moment before rolling out of the ring and stalking up the ramp.
Wright: What an ending to 2021!
Park: See you in 2022!