Guns Midseason Major Announcements
Jan 3, 2022 19:31:14 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Spike Kane, and 2 more like this
Post by Venom đź•· on Jan 3, 2022 19:31:14 GMT -5
We open up on a long hallway with a red carpet. We get a very presidential feel with a podium in front of a blank backdrop. The sound of a door opening is followed by the snapping of camera flashes as Magnus walks out onto stage. He has a bright and shiny new metal arm and an eye patch over his left eye. He takes his place behind the podium and shuffles some papers around in front of him before looking ahead into the main camera.
Magnus: Hello, and welcome everyone to the GUNS midseason finale announcement.
Magnus shuffles papers around as light bulbs flash.
Magnus: As you all know the Boxing Day show ended the first half of the third season of the Gun Show. It was a huge success with our first ever boxing match, Redmond Fury’s, who is very much alive, continued dominance as the Phoenix Champion, and we of course debuted our latest huge signing the now former X*Crown Champion Spike Kane.
Magnus flips to the next page and clears his throat.
Magnus: But I didn’t bring you all here to talk about the past. No, I’m here to talk to you about what is going on while our show is on break. As some of you may have already seen our very own Phoenix Champion has taken on the challenge of the actually dead Dinosaur Bones at Supremacy. In addition to Fury the GUNS Tag Team Champions Super Sake Presents: Off the Wagon have been given permission to defend the most prestigious championships overseas in Japan. Finally I am here to apologize for the interruption in the final broadcast. Most of the television audience missed the finale of the trial of Rob Arnold. So without further adu I present to you the finale of the trail of Rob Arnold.
Magnus turns and waves at the screen behind him and the image of Goldbear disappears and the Rob Arnold trial begins to play.
We cut to the Venom Courtroom, and the lawyer for the prosecution is in full flow of his closing arguments. As before, Judge Mills Lane presides over the room which includes the defendant, Rob Arnold, his council, Alex Reid, and amongst those sat in the stands are Magnus, Goldbear II, Joey Hawke, as well as Leon Chant and XHF European Champion, Riley Richards.
Lawyer: So in conclusion your honour, the prosecution has clearly demonstrated that Rob Arnold has time after time required censoring, from purposely setting out to maim and injure to leaning on the un-politically correct. In fact just weeks’ ago, the defendant made a reference to Pearl Harbour on Next Level Wrestling.
There’s a mixture of gasps and groans, mainly from Alex Reid who clearly didn’t catch on to Rob’s latest hijinks. Arnold looks back at his best friends with a shrug, which probably doesn’t help.
Lawyer: He doesn’t seem to grow, or show any indication of wanting to change, and therefore I believe that The XHF Network would be better off without him, in fact I think you would find that his removal would reveal just how much he’s holding them back.
The lawyer looks at Arnold in disgust, probably for effect, before looking back at Mills lane.
Lawyer: The prosecution rests.
Mills Lane: Alright, Arnold, final statements, let’s get it on!
Richards (whispering): He said the thing!
Chant (also whispering): Do you even know what that’s from, or are you associating for your fans?
Richards: …I need to stop telling you things.
Rob stands up and observes his surroundings, before taking a deep breath. At the end of the exhale, he spins around and faces the judge.
Arnold: Your honour, we’ve spent the last six months pulling out all the negative things that I have said and done in my life-
Mills Lane: Wait, six months? Is that how long I’ve been kept here? It’s felt like much less…how long is Magnus making me sleep?
Everybody glances over at Magnus, who attempts to avoid all eye contact. Arnold tries to move this on.
Arnold: I’m…I’m sorry about him, your honour, truly, and I’ll make sure he sends you back to your family after this, because I know what he’s like…he could genuinely forget.
Arnold glares once more at Magnus before he goes on.
Arnold: Anyway, in isolation, any action can be spun in a positive or negative light, in my case, we’ve extracted a number of darker moments and held them in isolation, and I’ll be honest, they make me out to be a pretty nasty guy. I’ve hurt people, I’ve offended people, and in some cases I’ve gone out of my way to do it. But with anything in life, there is always calls for context, or at least there should be. I can’t stand here honestly and say that some of my actions have been for good reason, they were selfish, they were opportunist, but have we forgotten the industry we are in? We are in the business of wrestling, it’s not designed to be sunshine and rainbows, it’s not meant to be pretty unicorns and happy endings. We set out to hurt each other, to incapacitate and to be top of the pile.
And not only do we look for physical advantages, we look for psychological ones too. If I can say something that will put my opponent off, why wouldn’t I? They sure would, or if they wouldn’t, perhaps they should.
Arnold paces, his passion starting to build.
Arnold: Now, I said that I have gone out of my way to do some of these things, but at no point have I said anything I regret, not even the Lethe thing.
Reid glares at him like “perhaps that’s not the best one to pick”.
Arnold: I don’t regret them because there was always truth and belief in my words. However, I also said that wrestling is not a happy ending sort of industry, but the world has moved on around it. We now have to consider what we say, we have to run a tightrope of right and wrong and the concept of what should be and what shouldn’t changes by the our according to Twitter. People get cancelled over the greyest of areas, and yet we are still expected to entertain the masses by taking verbal and physical shots at our opponents.
He shakes his head.
Arnold: Am I the only one who can see how this doesn’t work? If you’re hauled up like I am when you so much as toe poke over the line, in a business that has been built on big characters, combining serious and silly, eventually you’ll remove all the eccentricities until you’re left with bland robots that say the same thing each week. I mean look at The Network right now, it’s Tag team Champions are Noel Edmonds and Mr Blobby, and they’re not exactly like I remember from Noel’s House Party every Saturday night growing up.
Blobby: BLOBBY!
Arnold turns. Half of the Crinkly Bottom Boys is on the back row, next to Goldbear II…because this is GUNS and why the hell not.
Arnold: Oh, hey, Blobby’s here, was not expecting that! I know, you were on hard times, it’s okay, happens to the best of us.
Blobby nods.
Arnold: Look, your honour, you know from your time refereeing those clay figurines-
Mills Lane: You know that was voiceover work, don’t you?
Arnold: Sure, but stay with me. The point is, we are here to be entertained. And what entertains the public? Sometimes its big characters like in the XHF or Celebrity Deathmatch, sometimes its watching a Marvel film or a gritty drama about kidnap, or murder, or sometimes worse. No matter what the program is, no matter the medium, people with enough common sense should know where the boundaries are. I know where these boundaries are, and sure, the world has moved on, and for the better, but we should still be able to hold a mirror up to society and say “are you aware of just what you are?”. We should be able to challenge it, that’s our human right.
He sighs.
Arnold: It has always been my character to be in the face of everybody, calling them out for their flaws and not pulling my punches. If that’s no longer okay, or if it’s that some people just don’t like it because they’re too soft in the spine…then we are at an impasse, and if the only break is for you to send me away…then so be it.
Goldbear II: Raaaaaaaaaawr!
Arnold: No, my friend if that’s what keeps the machine moving then so be it. I’ve felt more and more of a relic in past years, that’s why I’ve moved on to focusing on The Academy, making new stars, making new memories. It’s not what I want, but if that’s the right thing…then so be it. Your honour, I hope you see in my favour, but I will respect your decision either way. Defence rests.
Rob walks back to the desk and takes his seat, there’s an eerie silence, possibly in shock of Rob being so genuine on a public forum, but still. Eventually Mills Lane raises his gavel.
Mills Lane: Thank you, Mr Arnold. I’m going to call a short recess, I need an old man pee, which will take some time…also I need to call my family…since it’s been six months apparently.
Everybody glances again at Magnus who again looks at the floor to avoid all eye contact.
Mills Lane: Court is adjourned.
The camera widens out off of the screen and we find Magnus still standing at the podium.
Magnus: While we wait for the court to continue I will not take questions.
Hands fly up and Magnus points one out.
Magnus: Yeah Al, what this time.
Al: Can you speak to the rumor that your Phoenix Champion is actually alive inside of a bear?
Magnus: Of course he’s alive, he’s going to face Dinosaur Bones at Overheated.
Al: What about the inside a bear part?
Magnus: Next question.
Magnus quickly points out someone else ignoring Al.
Carlos: Is it true Wombat is also alive inside a bear?
Magnus: Oh would you look at that. Court is coming back.
We return to the Venom Courtroom, everybody is on their feet and Judge Mills Lane is beginning his verdict.
Mills Lane: Rob Arnold, the purpose of this trial was to decide if you are guilty of being unfit to be on the XHF Network. I have listened to a lot of evidence against you…and I mean, a lot. Even your defence wasn’t exactly glowing.
Arnold looks over his shoulder as some of those witnesses for his defence stand behind him, and gives them a very sarcastic thumbs up.
Mills Lane: That said, you did raise some valid points along the way. Not many, but you still did. However, there can only be one result here, Rob Arnold…I find you guilty.
There’s a hushed gasp around the courtroom, save for a very audible “haaaaaah” from Leon Chant. Arnold lowers his head, defeated.
Mills Lane: However!
A second gasps, all eyes back on the judge.
Mills Lane: Whilst I was having my old man pee, I was thinking about what you said, about the nature of entertainment, and how the world was moving on at a rapid rate. And then when I called my family, my son reminded me I can’t say the word [REDACTED] any more.
Arnold: Woah…
Mills Lane: It was fine in my day dammit! We called them that as an endearment!
Arnold and Reid glance at each other, eyebrows raised.
Mills lane: And the point is, you shouldn’t be punished, not for essentially doing your job. You do however, need to do your job more considerately. And therefore you will not be removed from the Network…you will however be subject to a short course of therapy to address your anger and misguided actions.
Arnold: That…sounds just awful, but I’ll take it. When will this happen?
Mills Lane: Early 2022, via GUNS, I’m sure Magnus will dig out some other ex-television celebrity for it. I am also lifting the ban of you wrestling…but try not to break any more limbs, it was funny when it was piece of clay…I’ve been a bit grossed out by the photos I’ve had to see because of you and wouldn’t like to see any more.
Arnold smirks.
Arnold: Whatever you say your honour.
Lawyer: Wait a minute, he’s basically getting away with it? Your honour, you need to reconsider!
Mills Lane: My decision is final, case closed!
He bangs the gavel and slowly exits the room, people flock from the gallery to surround Arnold, who looks a bit surprised because let’s face it, he was guilty as hell. As the general buzz goes on, the lawyer barges his way through and squares up to Arnold, a brave move most would say.
Lawyer: This isn’t over.
Arnold: He banged the gavel, pretty sure it is.
Lawyer: Well, not if we appeal.
There’s a growling after the world appeal. The lawyer gets a little twitchy at this.
Lawyer: What was that?
Arnold: We both know what that was.
Behind the lawyer, a large shadow grows, and the shadow develops into the frame of Goldbear II, how looms ominously over the increasingly scared lawyer.
Goldbear II: Rawwwwr.
Lawyer: W-what did he say?
Arnold smirks.
Arnold: You don’t want that answer in full. I will tell you the first bit though, he suggests you don’t appeal.
Lawyer: Or what? You can’t threaten me!
Rob laughs.
Arnold: I’m not threatening you, he is, and he’s a bear, a hungry bear. And my advice, the longer you stay the more he’s not going to put a condition on eating you. And before you make the accusation, yes I can understand him, but in no way do I control him, he’s one hell of an independent bear…plus he’s a fucking bear, mate. I couldn’t stop him even if I wanted to!
The lawyer processes this, and makes a runner for the exit, Goldbear II licks his lips and playfully chases after him. Reid looks a little disturbed and turns back to Rob.
Reid: Will he really eat him?
Arnold: Oh that guy will totally be dead if he doesn’t speed up-
There is a large scream off camera.
Arnold: Yeah…he’s eating him.
They all look at each other a bit awkwardly until eventually Arnold breaks the silence.
Arnold: But upside! I’m getting back in the ring in 2022! Let’s go get a drink…but maybe we leave out of that other door…I think it could be a really rough scene in the foyer.
They all grimace and make their way out of the courtroom, and we fade out.
Magnus shuffles papers around as light bulbs flash.
Magnus: As you all know the Boxing Day show ended the first half of the third season of the Gun Show. It was a huge success with our first ever boxing match, Redmond Fury’s, who is very much alive, continued dominance as the Phoenix Champion, and we of course debuted our latest huge signing the now former X*Crown Champion Spike Kane.
Magnus flips to the next page and clears his throat.
Magnus: But I didn’t bring you all here to talk about the past. No, I’m here to talk to you about what is going on while our show is on break. As some of you may have already seen our very own Phoenix Champion has taken on the challenge of the actually dead Dinosaur Bones at Supremacy. In addition to Fury the GUNS Tag Team Champions Super Sake Presents: Off the Wagon have been given permission to defend the most prestigious championships overseas in Japan. Finally I am here to apologize for the interruption in the final broadcast. Most of the television audience missed the finale of the trial of Rob Arnold. So without further adu I present to you the finale of the trail of Rob Arnold.
Magnus turns and waves at the screen behind him and the image of Goldbear disappears and the Rob Arnold trial begins to play.
We cut to the Venom Courtroom, and the lawyer for the prosecution is in full flow of his closing arguments. As before, Judge Mills Lane presides over the room which includes the defendant, Rob Arnold, his council, Alex Reid, and amongst those sat in the stands are Magnus, Goldbear II, Joey Hawke, as well as Leon Chant and XHF European Champion, Riley Richards.
Lawyer: So in conclusion your honour, the prosecution has clearly demonstrated that Rob Arnold has time after time required censoring, from purposely setting out to maim and injure to leaning on the un-politically correct. In fact just weeks’ ago, the defendant made a reference to Pearl Harbour on Next Level Wrestling.
There’s a mixture of gasps and groans, mainly from Alex Reid who clearly didn’t catch on to Rob’s latest hijinks. Arnold looks back at his best friends with a shrug, which probably doesn’t help.
Lawyer: He doesn’t seem to grow, or show any indication of wanting to change, and therefore I believe that The XHF Network would be better off without him, in fact I think you would find that his removal would reveal just how much he’s holding them back.
The lawyer looks at Arnold in disgust, probably for effect, before looking back at Mills lane.
Lawyer: The prosecution rests.
Mills Lane: Alright, Arnold, final statements, let’s get it on!
Richards (whispering): He said the thing!
Chant (also whispering): Do you even know what that’s from, or are you associating for your fans?
Richards: …I need to stop telling you things.
Rob stands up and observes his surroundings, before taking a deep breath. At the end of the exhale, he spins around and faces the judge.
Arnold: Your honour, we’ve spent the last six months pulling out all the negative things that I have said and done in my life-
Mills Lane: Wait, six months? Is that how long I’ve been kept here? It’s felt like much less…how long is Magnus making me sleep?
Everybody glances over at Magnus, who attempts to avoid all eye contact. Arnold tries to move this on.
Arnold: I’m…I’m sorry about him, your honour, truly, and I’ll make sure he sends you back to your family after this, because I know what he’s like…he could genuinely forget.
Arnold glares once more at Magnus before he goes on.
Arnold: Anyway, in isolation, any action can be spun in a positive or negative light, in my case, we’ve extracted a number of darker moments and held them in isolation, and I’ll be honest, they make me out to be a pretty nasty guy. I’ve hurt people, I’ve offended people, and in some cases I’ve gone out of my way to do it. But with anything in life, there is always calls for context, or at least there should be. I can’t stand here honestly and say that some of my actions have been for good reason, they were selfish, they were opportunist, but have we forgotten the industry we are in? We are in the business of wrestling, it’s not designed to be sunshine and rainbows, it’s not meant to be pretty unicorns and happy endings. We set out to hurt each other, to incapacitate and to be top of the pile.
And not only do we look for physical advantages, we look for psychological ones too. If I can say something that will put my opponent off, why wouldn’t I? They sure would, or if they wouldn’t, perhaps they should.
Arnold paces, his passion starting to build.
Arnold: Now, I said that I have gone out of my way to do some of these things, but at no point have I said anything I regret, not even the Lethe thing.
Reid glares at him like “perhaps that’s not the best one to pick”.
Arnold: I don’t regret them because there was always truth and belief in my words. However, I also said that wrestling is not a happy ending sort of industry, but the world has moved on around it. We now have to consider what we say, we have to run a tightrope of right and wrong and the concept of what should be and what shouldn’t changes by the our according to Twitter. People get cancelled over the greyest of areas, and yet we are still expected to entertain the masses by taking verbal and physical shots at our opponents.
He shakes his head.
Arnold: Am I the only one who can see how this doesn’t work? If you’re hauled up like I am when you so much as toe poke over the line, in a business that has been built on big characters, combining serious and silly, eventually you’ll remove all the eccentricities until you’re left with bland robots that say the same thing each week. I mean look at The Network right now, it’s Tag team Champions are Noel Edmonds and Mr Blobby, and they’re not exactly like I remember from Noel’s House Party every Saturday night growing up.
Blobby: BLOBBY!
Arnold turns. Half of the Crinkly Bottom Boys is on the back row, next to Goldbear II…because this is GUNS and why the hell not.
Arnold: Oh, hey, Blobby’s here, was not expecting that! I know, you were on hard times, it’s okay, happens to the best of us.
Blobby nods.
Arnold: Look, your honour, you know from your time refereeing those clay figurines-
Mills Lane: You know that was voiceover work, don’t you?
Arnold: Sure, but stay with me. The point is, we are here to be entertained. And what entertains the public? Sometimes its big characters like in the XHF or Celebrity Deathmatch, sometimes its watching a Marvel film or a gritty drama about kidnap, or murder, or sometimes worse. No matter what the program is, no matter the medium, people with enough common sense should know where the boundaries are. I know where these boundaries are, and sure, the world has moved on, and for the better, but we should still be able to hold a mirror up to society and say “are you aware of just what you are?”. We should be able to challenge it, that’s our human right.
He sighs.
Arnold: It has always been my character to be in the face of everybody, calling them out for their flaws and not pulling my punches. If that’s no longer okay, or if it’s that some people just don’t like it because they’re too soft in the spine…then we are at an impasse, and if the only break is for you to send me away…then so be it.
Goldbear II: Raaaaaaaaaawr!
Arnold: No, my friend if that’s what keeps the machine moving then so be it. I’ve felt more and more of a relic in past years, that’s why I’ve moved on to focusing on The Academy, making new stars, making new memories. It’s not what I want, but if that’s the right thing…then so be it. Your honour, I hope you see in my favour, but I will respect your decision either way. Defence rests.
Rob walks back to the desk and takes his seat, there’s an eerie silence, possibly in shock of Rob being so genuine on a public forum, but still. Eventually Mills Lane raises his gavel.
Mills Lane: Thank you, Mr Arnold. I’m going to call a short recess, I need an old man pee, which will take some time…also I need to call my family…since it’s been six months apparently.
Everybody glances again at Magnus who again looks at the floor to avoid all eye contact.
Mills Lane: Court is adjourned.
The camera widens out off of the screen and we find Magnus still standing at the podium.
Magnus: While we wait for the court to continue I will not take questions.
Hands fly up and Magnus points one out.
Magnus: Yeah Al, what this time.
Al: Can you speak to the rumor that your Phoenix Champion is actually alive inside of a bear?
Magnus: Of course he’s alive, he’s going to face Dinosaur Bones at Overheated.
Al: What about the inside a bear part?
Magnus: Next question.
Magnus quickly points out someone else ignoring Al.
Carlos: Is it true Wombat is also alive inside a bear?
Magnus: Oh would you look at that. Court is coming back.
We return to the Venom Courtroom, everybody is on their feet and Judge Mills Lane is beginning his verdict.
Mills Lane: Rob Arnold, the purpose of this trial was to decide if you are guilty of being unfit to be on the XHF Network. I have listened to a lot of evidence against you…and I mean, a lot. Even your defence wasn’t exactly glowing.
Arnold looks over his shoulder as some of those witnesses for his defence stand behind him, and gives them a very sarcastic thumbs up.
Mills Lane: That said, you did raise some valid points along the way. Not many, but you still did. However, there can only be one result here, Rob Arnold…I find you guilty.
There’s a hushed gasp around the courtroom, save for a very audible “haaaaaah” from Leon Chant. Arnold lowers his head, defeated.
Mills Lane: However!
A second gasps, all eyes back on the judge.
Mills Lane: Whilst I was having my old man pee, I was thinking about what you said, about the nature of entertainment, and how the world was moving on at a rapid rate. And then when I called my family, my son reminded me I can’t say the word [REDACTED] any more.
Arnold: Woah…
Mills Lane: It was fine in my day dammit! We called them that as an endearment!
Arnold and Reid glance at each other, eyebrows raised.
Mills lane: And the point is, you shouldn’t be punished, not for essentially doing your job. You do however, need to do your job more considerately. And therefore you will not be removed from the Network…you will however be subject to a short course of therapy to address your anger and misguided actions.
Arnold: That…sounds just awful, but I’ll take it. When will this happen?
Mills Lane: Early 2022, via GUNS, I’m sure Magnus will dig out some other ex-television celebrity for it. I am also lifting the ban of you wrestling…but try not to break any more limbs, it was funny when it was piece of clay…I’ve been a bit grossed out by the photos I’ve had to see because of you and wouldn’t like to see any more.
Arnold smirks.
Arnold: Whatever you say your honour.
Lawyer: Wait a minute, he’s basically getting away with it? Your honour, you need to reconsider!
Mills Lane: My decision is final, case closed!
He bangs the gavel and slowly exits the room, people flock from the gallery to surround Arnold, who looks a bit surprised because let’s face it, he was guilty as hell. As the general buzz goes on, the lawyer barges his way through and squares up to Arnold, a brave move most would say.
Lawyer: This isn’t over.
Arnold: He banged the gavel, pretty sure it is.
Lawyer: Well, not if we appeal.
There’s a growling after the world appeal. The lawyer gets a little twitchy at this.
Lawyer: What was that?
Arnold: We both know what that was.
Behind the lawyer, a large shadow grows, and the shadow develops into the frame of Goldbear II, how looms ominously over the increasingly scared lawyer.
Goldbear II: Rawwwwr.
Lawyer: W-what did he say?
Arnold smirks.
Arnold: You don’t want that answer in full. I will tell you the first bit though, he suggests you don’t appeal.
Lawyer: Or what? You can’t threaten me!
Rob laughs.
Arnold: I’m not threatening you, he is, and he’s a bear, a hungry bear. And my advice, the longer you stay the more he’s not going to put a condition on eating you. And before you make the accusation, yes I can understand him, but in no way do I control him, he’s one hell of an independent bear…plus he’s a fucking bear, mate. I couldn’t stop him even if I wanted to!
The lawyer processes this, and makes a runner for the exit, Goldbear II licks his lips and playfully chases after him. Reid looks a little disturbed and turns back to Rob.
Reid: Will he really eat him?
Arnold: Oh that guy will totally be dead if he doesn’t speed up-
There is a large scream off camera.
Arnold: Yeah…he’s eating him.
They all look at each other a bit awkwardly until eventually Arnold breaks the silence.
Arnold: But upside! I’m getting back in the ring in 2022! Let’s go get a drink…but maybe we leave out of that other door…I think it could be a really rough scene in the foyer.
They all grimace and make their way out of the courtroom, and we fade out.