NLW Ascendancy XXIX | Saturday, January 22nd, 2022 | LIVE
Jan 13, 2022 6:59:28 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Kira Izumi, and 5 more like this
Post by Robbie A on Jan 13, 2022 6:59:28 GMT -5
Next Level Wrestling Presents
ASCENDENCY XXIX
LIVE from the Lakefront Arena in New Orleans, Louisiana
Saturday, 22nd January, 2022
‘Obey’ hits the sound system as the visual fades in on the cheering crowd that’s filling the Lakefront Arena, the camera showing different angles of the NLW supporters as they excitedly await the action that is about to come for this episode of Ascendancy. A fan cosplaying as the Thespian waves enthusiastically at the camera as it pans past the front row before it zooms out to show that entire side of the arena space, signs for the fan’s favorites waving beneath the multi-colored lights. The camera cuts to the announce desk shortly after.
Dan Simmons: Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, and everyone in-between… welcome to episode twenty-nine of Ascendancy! I’m Dan Simmons, and joining me is my broadcast partner, Tommy West–and tonight, Tommy, six members of NLW’s roster are fighting for a shot at the Southern States Championship!
Tommy West: Indeed they are, Simmo! Bloodied Fox will be facing Nathan Parker, Al Jabroni will be going up against Willie Steen, and Devin Mitchell will be squaring off against Adam Sanders, and all of those men have one goal… vanquish their opponent as quickly as possible. The man with the fastest time will move on to face the Thespian in the main event tonight!
Dan Simmons: And all of those potential contenders are gonna wanna end things as quickly as possible–not just for the contendership opportunity, but to be as fresh as possible because not only is the Thespian going to be fresh, but he also feels like he’s got a major point to prove.
Tommy West: He sure does, and I for one wouldn’t wanna be his next opponent!
Dan Simmons: [/color]Speaking of not wanting to be someone’s next opponent, the Jitterman’s trail of terror continues tonight as he squares off against one half of the reigning NLW Tag Team Champions in Wellington Dunne.
Tommy West: Wellington has seen a lot in his long and storied career, but has he ever encountered anyone like the Jitterman? I think not!
Dan Simmons: Tilted Cartridges will also be discovering who will be their new number one contenders tonight as the Academy, the Goons, and the New South face off in a triple threat collision that is steeped in history! Which of these three pillars of the NLW tag scene will get the win?
Tommy West: There’s only one way to find out, Simmo. Let’s get this show on the road!
MATCH ONE - BEAT THE CLOCK
Devin Mitchell vs Adam Sanders
Mitchell and Sanders waste no time in locking up, knowing that not only did they want to win, they wanted to win fast, every move counted a little more this week. Sanders took control to begin and shifted into a headlock. Mitchell pushed him away and to the ropes, but on his return Sanders dropped him with a shoulder charge. Sanders went to the ropes and Mitchell sprung up, he looked for a hip toss but Sanders blocked and placed a side kick into his gut, which allowed Sanders to transition into a suplex. Mitchell scrambled to his feet but was met with forearms that backed him into the corner. The Awkward One whipped Mitchell to the opposite corner and charged, but Mitchell but a boot up, he hopped onto the second rope and when Sanders spun back around he hit him with a missile shotgun dropkick which sent him flying.
Mitchell didn’t waste any time, he got back up and charged towards Sanders who equally wasn’t staying down for long. Mitchell but a boot into the gut of Sanders and hit a butterfly suplex. He covered for one, so immediately dragged him back to his feet and hooked him for another suplex, Sanders blocked and pushed Mitchell back, Mitchell responded with a short arm clothesline attempt that Sanders ducked and hit a Cochrane-esque standing dropkick. Both men were back up fairly quickly and Sanders used the half second he was ahead to put a boot if his own into Mitchell’s gut and hit the Motor City Circuit [double arm DDT]. Sanders did not go for the cover however, he glanced at the ticking clock and then went to the top rope and waited for Mitchell to get back up, and when he did he went for Flight of the Dragonite [flying clothesline], Mitchell rolled forward and Sanders drop rolled in adjustment as well, but Sanders turned and was completely cleaned out with a Camden Destroyer [front flip DDT], Mitchell covered but only got a two.
Sanders was in trouble, Mitchell knew it and sized him up, he waited for Sanders to get up and put him on his shoulders, looking for The Virulence [inverted GTS], but Sanders clobbered him with an elbow, allowing him to drop back to his feet, Mitchell turned and ate a Lightning Strike [superkick]. The crowd were right behind Sanders, who dropped to one knee to recover momentarily after hitting the superkick, but he shook the cobwebs and bundled Mitchell back to his feet, again thinking about the clock. Sanders hoisted Mitchell up on his shoulders, looking for the Dream Breaker [Death Valley driver], but Mitchell fought out, and it was his turn to drop behind his opponent, and he rolled Sanders up, grabbing the ropes, referee was unsighted and counted the three! The crowd were fuming, Sanders was fuming, he knew, Mitchell smirked because the only one who didn’t know was the ref, and because of it, he’s set the first time in the challenge!
[WINNER: Devin Mitchell Via Roll Up at 05:33]
Next Level Wrestling’s SHOCKING UPSET!
A page from a weekly edition of some wrestling magazine or newsletter lays torn and crumpled on the floor.
riiiiiip.
A second piece of torn paper floats to the floor, a shot of the headline reading:
SHOCK OF THE NEW YEAR!
riiiiiiiip.
A third piece falls, it’s headline:
ASCENDANCY XXVIII SHOCKER!
.
.
.
The camera pans up, Fargo and Mehrunes Smith stand looking down at the torn pages.
"Lesser men would pack their bags."
Mehrunes says coldly, half muffled by his awesome mask.
"Lesser men would get angry."
Fargo looks off in the distance.
"Or make excuses."
Mehrunes shrugs slightly.
"We made an error of judgment. We got beat. We lost." He nods his head, solemnly. "All true. At the end of the day, we lost and Tilted Cartridges got lucky. That is all."
Fargo spits and looks at the camera.
"Buy a lottery ticket, fellas. Tilted Cartridges, you are two of the luckiest men walkin’ the face of Planet Earth!" He pauses and smirks. "Ya got lucky, but not lucky enough, you wanna know why?"
"‘Cause we’re still"
"Fuckin’"
"Breathing!"
Fargo points at the camera.
"And as long we’re still breathing, The End are gonna be breathin’ down the necks of whatever sorry pricks have our belts."
Mehrunes places a hand on Fargo’s shoulder to reign his partner back.
"As far as this triple threat tonight is concerned, we will be keeping a close eye on it to see who the third team at Masquerade will be. But know this, whoever it may be…"
Fargo smirks and arrogantly tilts his head to the side, Mehrunes puts an open out at the camera.
"The End…is already written."
Fade out.
We cut backstage where Kelly Ross is standing outside a room which is marked “Ricardo & David Goon”. The NLW reporter gives an uneasy smile.
Kelly Ross: NLW fans, Kelly Ross here, I tried to get a word with the NLW Heavyweight Champion, Ricardo Goon ahead of both his tag team contendership match, and his upcoming defence at Supremacy against Keahi Sparks and Nathan Cage, but so far they have not answered the door. I can hear them in the room but to be totally honest, they are ignoring me.
At that moment a note slides under the door, Kelly looks down and carefully picks it up, she unfolds it and studies it for a moment. After four or five seconds her eyes flick back to the camera and she sighs.
Kelly Ross:Ladies and gents, I’m afraid this note suggests that I won’t be getting a word with Ricardo tonight as he, and I quote, has better things to be doing than speaking to thirsty girls like Kelly Ross. He’s going to be too busy making Riley Richards look like a little bitch again, just to piss off management. Folks, I just want to be clear these are his words, not mine.
Kelly looks at the note again, there’s more, her face sours.
Kelly Ross:Ugh! No, I’m not reading the rest of this, back to you guys at ringside!
MATCH TWO - BEAT THE CLOCK
Al Jabroni vs Willie Steen
Let’s be honest, Al Jabroni isn’t the most likeable guy, and it was quite apparent that Willie Steen didn’t think too much of his opponent either from the look on his face before the bell rung. The clock was counting down from 05:33 from the opening bout, but this didn’t seem to twig with Jabroni, who, when Steen advanced at him, got nervous and slid out the ring to consult with Disco Boy Johnny B. Disco Boy, as always looked exhausted with Al, and told him he needed to get on with it, and that Steen wasn’t as scary as Jitterman, who Al was practically destroyed by two weeks ago. Steen was getting impatient very quickly, knowing that Jabroni had already wasted an important 15 seconds, he slid out of the ring to get this moving. Jabroni saw him coming, let out a little girly scream and after trying to hide behind Disco Boy he legged it into the ring. Steen followed where Jabroni suddenly grew a pair and hit a cross body. He covered for barely a one count. Both men got to their feet and Jabroni ran at Steen, only to eat a clothesline that almost turned him inside out.
Steen got to his feet and looked severely pissed off. He dragged Al back to his feet and sent him to the ropes and Jabroni ran back into a standing dropkick. A quick glance at the clock prodded him into more action, and he gathered Jabroni up and went for an Irish whip, Jabroni reversed but Steen came back and hit a head scissors takedown, Jabroni wearily got back to his feet only to receive a running enziguri, this would send him down and rolling out of the ring. Steen looked even more frustrated but realised that Jabroni looked miles away, so he let the referee count him out in the hope he’d take the win that way, after all he possibly still had one more match later on, so the less he did now would be a bonus.
Jabroni barely moved until the count got to six, and he stirred some more at eight, and despite expectation and himself, he managed to haul himself under the bottom rope after the nine count, saving the match with barely anything to spare. Steen sighed and went straight back to him, knowing the clock was down to the last ninety seconds. He dragged Jabroni back up to his feet but suddenly Jabroni put him in an inside cradle! Steen kicked out at two and Jabroni instinctively (okay, more Disco Boy “encouragement”) got back up, and he dropped Steen with a codebreaker! Suddenly Jabroni was in this match! He went to the ring apron and when Steen stumbled back to his feet he hit a springboard dropkick! Al was feeling it now, he was nodding and psyching himself up, and he went to the top rope, he was after the Catch 22, but he became distracted, Disco Boy was yelling at him again…Al couldn’t get why, and asked him why he was shouting…he couldn’t hear him above the crowd who were chanting something…five…four…three…two…one. Oh Al…
[WINNER: NO CONTEST - CLOCK TIMED OUT AT at 05:33]
After the match, the cameras open up backstage in a seemingly normal room. The camera scans past a white card table setup for "catering", full of various snacks. Doritos, Lays, Ritz crackers... then past a table of soda with the works, Coca-Cola, Sprite, Dr. Pepper... and even a full table of healthy treats! There's a vegetable tray with various dips, and a sandwich station filled with bread and meats and cheeses... and finally, at the end of the table, we follow a hand as it reaches into a plastic container and produces possibly the worst snack of all time... a Saltine cracker. The hand raises to a mouth and with a very dull CRUNCH, teeth bite into the snack.
There's a long moment where the only audible noise is the sound of dry cracker pieces smacking around the inside of a mouth.
El Chico Promedio: So... Next Level Wrestling.
Not satisfied with just eating the plain cracker, Chico licks his fingertips as well, as if that has any flavor.
El Chico Promedio: This place looks fine. Just fine. I've heard some about it. But not much. You know... just the normal amount anybody hears about anything.
Beneath the mask, Chico winks. Nobody knows what it means.
El Chico Promedio: People may look at me and think... this guy? Really? He's nothing special. Sure, he's handsome. Sure, he has an ass that won't quit. Sure, he holds the high score on the Pac-Man machine at Salvio's Pizza in Springfield. But... what else does he have to offer?
He tosses down the package of crackers and takes a deep breath, but flecks of dry Saltine get stuck in his throat and he just begins coughing violently. Chico sputters and coughs up a storm, holding up a finger to the camera while wheezing and gasping for air.
El Chico Promedio: Oh god... oh god... oh... oh god...
Chico begins violently gagging for air. He stumbles forward and crashes into the catering table, flailing wildly. Lettuce and cheese and bread goes flying as he fumbles blindly for a drink. Finally, he manages to grab a can of ginger ale and cracks it open, dumping it upside down all over his face and down his throat. Eventually, the coughing subsides, but now, there's a stinging in his eyes as he tries to wipe away the burning ginger ale that has gotten into his eye sockets.
Dan Simmons: What... are we watching?
Tommy West: I'm not sure.
After a bit more moaning and groaning, Chico finally catches his breath. His chest heaves up and down as he calms down, and there's a bit of snot dribbling down his nose. He grabs a stray piece of lettuce and dots his nose and takes a deep breath.
El Chico Promedio: You may be asking... when it comes to... El Chico Promedio...
He adopts a fierce otherworldly accent and strikes a tiger claw pose.
El Chico Promedio: ...is there more than meets the eye?
Chico tries to wink but his eye is swollen up and watering from the ginger ale. He shakes his head.
El Chico Promedio: No. No no no. I'm just... I'm just your average guy.
He smiles at the camera and nods his head as the segment fades away.
MATCH THREE - BEAT THE CLOCK
Bloodied Fox vs Nathan Parker
After watching Al Jabroni time out, both men knew the assignment and as the bell went they went straight at it, trading rights like they were going out of fashion. Parker was more suited to a brawl and backed Fox to the ropes, he whipped him across the ring and stepped up, he looked for a lariat but Fox ducked, so when he came back Parker swung an elbow but again it was an air shot. Parker turned around and was met with a cross body. Both men got straight back to their feet but Fox was ahead of his opponent and went for a kick to the gut, Parker grabbed the foot and spun him 360, and when fox went back to facing Parker he couldn’t dodge the lariat he had waiting for him this time. Parker dragged him up and whipped him to the ropes again, this time he went for a big boot, but again Fox was wise to it and slid under, Parker turned and got a roundhouse kick for his troubles. The former Southern States Champion wasn’t down for long, but he was close to the ropes, and Fox charged him, clotheslining him over the top rope. Fox realised this wasn’t ideal, time was ticking, but there was an opportunity, and as Parker got to his feet on the outside, Fox couldn’t resist, he ran at the ropes and somersaulted onto Parker!
This took a piece out of both men, and the referee had reached a count of four before Fox was back on his feet, he picked Parker up but his opponent resisted and headbutted him. Parker then slammed Fox’s head on the ring apron and rolled him back in the ring. He got back in as well and when Fox got to his feet he kicked him and looked for a powerbomb, but as he got him up, Fox put some punches on the top of his head, before countering with a hurricanrana!
Two minutes left, Fox called for Parker to get back to his feet, when he did he grabbed him for a belly to belly suplex, Parker blocked him in the form of a headbutt, Fox tried to reply with a lariat but Parker ducked and as Fox spun around he hit a Saito suplex, not done there, he got back to his feet and hit the Quick trip [standing moonsault], covering in the process but he got just a two count.
Ninety seconds left, Parker dragged Fox to his feet and threw him in the corner, he propped him on the top rope and started to climb to the second rope, Fox put a couple forearms in his face which sent him off the ropes and back towards the centre of the ring, Fox steadied himself and stood up on the top rope, hitting a missile dropkick as Parker came back towards him! Not done, he quickly went to the ring apron and hit the Air Vulpine [springboard frog splash], he covered but would only get a two count!
Sixty seconds left, Fox stalked Parker and when he rose to his feet he put a boot in his midsection and looked for either a powerbomb or piledriver, but Parker hit a back body drop to get out of trouble. He turned to see Fox getting back up using the corner for support so he dived at him and connected with a Megaheadbutt. He covered but only got a two count.
Forty five seconds left, Parker screamed at Fox to get to his feet and when he did he hoisted him up on his shoulder, possibly for a powerslam. He stepped forward but Fox slipped behind and Parker turned into the MDK [black mass]! Fox covered but Parker got the shoulder up!
Thirty seconds left, Fox is on his knees and considers his next move, he knows he’s got to act now. He hauls Parker up to his feet and looks for the B4 [cutthroat exploder] but Parker’s instincts take over, he knees Fox in the gut and hits a gutwrench powerbomb! Parker goes straight to the corner and climbs the turnbuckle…fifteen seconds left. He takes flight for the Shotgun elbow drop, but there’s nobody home! Parker gets back to his feet holding his elbow but Fox is up and waiting for him and he grabs him and delivers a B4! He covers and with just three seconds to spare, he gets the three count!
[WINNER: Bloodied Fox Via B4 at 05:30]
Standing backstage tonight is none other than the XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion himself, Chris Sanderson. Tonight, he’s not as formal as two weeks ago, wearing blue jeans, a The Killers hoodie and the championship is around his waist. Behind him is a simple NLW banner because when you’re NLW, you are NLW for life.
Chris Sanderson: In case you’ve been under a rock since Open Fight Night 3, I won the XHF Junior Heavyweight Championship. My opponents for Supremacy have been announced, finally, as I take on former champion Florida Man and Charles…
His voice trailed off about Charles. Chris didn’t like the idea of facing a stuffie.
Chris Sanderson: Both of J-Rok based in Japan. Where our guy Nathan Cage has been kicking ass, by the way.
Again, NLW for life.
Chris Sanderson: When I defend this championship at Supremacy, I’m doing it for me, of course, but I’m also doing it for everyone in this locker room. Having a global championship here in this company means good things. We have a bit more representation, get our name out to more wrestling fans.
A simple pause as he clasped his hands.
Chris Sanderson: I want to remain the Junior Heavyweight Champion into next month, and into March, April, May and for the rest of the damn year! I don’t like to bring up the term birthright, but I am the only second generation Junior Heavyweight Champion in history. This title was meant to be mine. I saw my old man defend this against legends in this business.
Shake of the head.
Chris Sanderson: And, in case, you didn’t see my promo for Supremacy, I respect Florida Man’s in ring ability but I’ll be goddamn if I lose this championship in my first defense. All due respect to my two competitors for J-Rok, if I lose this championship, I will lose it going down fighting and swinging as hard as I possibly can because I represent Next Level Wrestling!
The crowd is heard cheering now.
Chris Sanderson: As long as I represent NLW while holding this championship, every single match will get the best possible Chris Sanderson in the middle of that ring. And when my time with this title is up, or I’m booked again here, it’s the same. The best possible version of me you’ll get in that ring.
He takes the championship off of his waist and holds it up in the air.
Chris Sanderson: As God as my witness, the next time you see me on NLW television, this will still be in my possession. Florida Man, Charles, see you at Supremacy.
Chris lowers the championship and walks away.
MATCH FOUR
The Jitterman vs Wellington Dunne
Wellington Dunne makes his way to the ring with the NLW Tag Team Championship proudly around his waist. He raises his arms to the sound of Volbeat’s “Seal the Deal”, which he did very well the last time we saw the Glasgow Bull. But the air of confidence was quickly sucked out of him the moment the lights cut off. The moment the Jitterman starts to slowly make his way down the ramp to the ring, the Glasgow Bull can only stare in terror as the fans are completely silent. As the lights come back on, Dunne shakes it off and strikes right before the bell even rings. The bell rings and Dunne realizes his strike did nothing to the Jitterman. He strikes him with a headbutt, and the Jitterman shakes that off like it was nothing as well. Dunne grabs Jitterman to try to irish whip him into the ropes, but Jitterman doesn’t move before dropping Dunne to the mat with a haymaker.
Wellington Dunne scrambles to his feet and is immediately grabbed for a double arm DDT. The Jitterman follows it up with a vertical suplex. He tries for the easy win but the Tag Champ kicks out. Jitterman yanks the Glasgow Bull back to his feet and hits a backstabber. Wellington does the veteran thing after that: rolling out of the ring. The Jitterman steps over the ropes to join him on the outside. He sprints to Dunne, who has the wherewithal to evade the charge, making Jitterman crash into the steps. Showcasing his strength to anyone who doubted it, Wellington Dunne hits a german suplex on the Jitterman on the outside before sliding back into the ring with the count at four. Willing to settle for a countout victory, Wellington stands in the ring to see what happens next but Jitterman immediately sits up at six. He’s on his feet by seven and back in the ring by eight.
Dunne headbutts the Jitterman as soon as he gets back in the ring but Jitterman quickly lifts Dunne in the air in a military press style. Dunne, showing his fighting spirit, yanks on Jitterman’s head and it distracts Jitterman’s grip just enough to allow him to escape and land behind him. Dunne repeats the only move that has worked so far, a german suplex. Except this time, Dunne bridges the suplex so it qualifies as a pin attempt, but the Jitterman shows off his resilience by kicking out at the count of three.
The NLW Tag Team Champion attempts a third german suplex, but the Jitterman has caught onto the pattern and delivers a few elbows to prevent it from the move’s execution. One sidewalk slam later, it was Dunne on the mat and being covered. But just as every pin attempt so far, it wasn’t enough as it only leads to a two count. The Jitterman stalks Dunne as he fights to his feet. He charges and drills the Glasgow Bull with the Lights Out (running big boot to the face) before getting the cover. Every single person in the building thought the match was over but somehow, someway, Wellington Dunne kicks out.
The Jitterman looks fairly amused, tilting his head to the side before trying to hop on Dunne’s back to lock in the Sleep Tight (Tazzmission). He has it locked in for only a couple of seconds before the entire Lakefront Arena rises to their feet to see Wellington Dunne impressively fight to his despite the gigantic, supernatural three hundred ten pound Jitterman on his back. Once he does, he backs into the ropes, causing the hold to have to be broken up. Jitterman tries to turn the positioning into a reverse DDT, but Dunne is able to snapmare the spooky giant. Dunne hops over Jitterman and runs against the ropes. Jitterman is up and right back down with a thunderous spear. Cover by Dunne is unfortunately broken up by a foot on the bottom rope.
With the duo being close enough to the corner, Dunne starts to put Jitterman in the corner and keeps him under control with some chops before transitioning to the Glasgow Cannon (swinging corner dropkick). He pulls Jitterman from the corner after learning his lesson after the spear and tries to cover again, but this time is still only a two count. Jitterman sits right back up and takes the Glasgow Bull off his feet with an uppercut. A pump handle slam later from the former AWF competitor, and the Jitterman is now the one getting a cover on Dunne, but the Bull still kicks out yet again. The Jitterman now seems to be feeling the momentum his way before deadlift Dunne into a german suplex. He repeats it for a backstabber. Jitterman yanks Dunne by the head to try to see if the Sleep Tight will work again before Dunne drills him with a few elbows before he can properly lock in the submission. Before the Jitterman even realizes what is going on, Dunne takes him to the mat with a small package. The Jitterman doesn’t react fast enough to the pin, sealing the victory for the NLW Tag Team Champion.
[WINNER: Wellington Dunne Via Small Package at 07:10]
We fade in on Nathan Cage, to an ever mixed but vocal crowd reaction. Stood in the same interview area Goon had been earlier in the show. He stares off-camera with an unblinking gaze, hands held palm faced together against the tip of his nose in contemplation. Along the side of his face and arms, red welts remain from his victorious Winter Deathmatch bout in J-ROK against Yuki Sakaraba.
He moves his hands away and jerks his face to the camera. Expression flickering from serene to intense in under a second.
Nathan Cage: Ever since I’ve joined the Network, I can’t help hearin’ the same things! “I’m Next Level”, “No, I’m Next Level!”, “I’m the best in the world!”, “No, I’M the best-” I’m this! I’m that! BUT WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, IT SURE SEEMS LIKE A LOTTA THIS COMPANY LIKES TO FOLD!
Cage’s expression of disgust is clear. But, in case of any confusion, his spiteful spit onto the floor of the interview position erases any doubt.
Nathan Cage: Whether it’s the illustrious champion - Ricardo Goon. Dronin’ on and on about Management and stackin’ the deck. Or, it’s Keahi Sparks and her ‘ol pal whinin’ about somethin’ as trivial as a lil steel chair to the dome!
Chuckling and shaking his head. Cage alludes to some level of cowardice the NLW locker room exudes that even he is in disbelief of. Like most things with The Rabid Dog, it is difficult to tell if he genuinely believes this, or is merely trying to get under the skin of his opponents.
Nathan Cage: Now, it’s easy to think that I’m just some asshole throwin’ a tantrum. I’m sure nothin’ I say can change certain people’s opinions on that front! Frankly though, I couldn’t give a shit what they think! The FACT is, I haven’t done a damn thing but tell people exactly what happens next and then makin’ it happen. Come hell, or high water! If people, like Gunn, wanna fight me on that? Shit, they’re more than welcome! But as it stands right now, nobody’s been able to make a liar outta Nathan Cage yet!
He begins pacing back and forth. Eyes never leaving the direction of the screen.
Nathan Cage: Sparks might get all antsy about me injectin’ myself into her match, but I truly don’t give a fuck about her bein’ tossed into mine! Whether Goon’s the champ, whether they add somebody else, whether they make all of us wrestle in whatever inane gimmick match pops into their goddamned heads! NONE OF IT MATTERS! Those other two might wanna whine and complain and bitch and make a martyr outta themselves. “Management don’t like me!”, “I’m Gunn’s pet project so I shouldn’t have to deal with gettin’ hit by a chair!”. S’far as I’m concerned, every single obstacle you got! Line ‘em up in front of me, I will tear through each and every FUCKIN’ ONE!
Stopping, Cage wags his finger slightly. Trying to search for the words beyond just expletives.
Nathan Cage: Tommy Kelly can show his face again and act all high an’ mighty and call me out. Gunn can make that smug lil fuckin’ expression he likes to make at me all he wants. Sparks and Goon, who really gives a shit? The fact is, everybody knows exactly where Nathan Fuckin’ Cage is. What, Nathan Fuckin’ Cage is capable of. How much, Nathan. Fucking. Cage. Can get done, when he says somethin’ll happen.
Cage spreads his arms out.
Nathan Cage: I’m right here. I ain’t goin’ nowhere. One of the first things I ever said to the NLW Audience, its roster and my BOSS. Was that I am here to prod, torment and rip out any ounce of weakness in this roster! THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE NEXT FUCKIN’ LEVEL AREN’T THEY!? AND IF YA DON’T LIKE THAT!?
He crouches forward. Eyes bloodshot and mouth in a sneer.
Nathan Cage: Get a new job.
Nathan Cage: But… Until such time.
Cage leans back, suddenly switching yet again to a far more relaxed and casual demeanour.
Nathan Cage: I know, where everybody else is. Matter of fact, our illustrious champ’s about to be in the ring right now! So… If you, don’t wanna come at Nathan Fuckin’ Cage. Then don’t worry…
He smiles a toothy, hollow smirk. Cracking his knuckles together.
Nathan Cage: ‘Cause, I’ll find you.
Letting out a short little raspy laugh, Cage marches off. The camera fades to black.
MATCH FIVE
#1 CONTENDERS MATCH FOR THE NLW TAG TEAM TITLES
The Academy vs The Goons vs The New South
With a shot at Tilted Cartridges at Masquerade for the NLW Tag Team Championship on the line (well, a shared shot along with former champions The End), the crowd is all on their feet as this battle amongst the original NLW tag teams begins with the New South making their way down to the ring to a mixed response from all the fans in the Lakefront Arena. The mixed response quickly turns to cheers as soon as You And Me At Six’s “Fresh Start Fever” and Riley Richards appears behind the curtain first. While he examines all the fans that are cheering on the Academy, Leon Chant appears behind him and starts his march down to the ring. As soon as they hit the ring, the music immediately switches to Mobb Deep with the Goons appearing on the ramp, with Ricardo Goon’s NLW Heavyweight Championship resting on his shoulder. The fans rain all the boos on the Goons roll into the ring. The moment the bell rings, all six men find someone to start fighting with.
Dan Simmons reminds everyone at home that this triple threat tag match was being fought under tornado tag team rules with no disqualifications as Ricardo Goon drills his knee into Leon Chant. Riley was throwing every strike he could in the direction of Beau. Waylon sends David Goon into the ropes and hits a spinebuster on the rebound. This frees up Waylon to lock in a full nelson on Riley Richards, allowing Beau to hit a few strikes in on the held up Riley. They remove the Academy member with a double arm drag before turning their attention to the Heavyweight Champion, who just clotheslined Leon Chant to the outside.
Ricardo Goon sees both members of the New South staring at him and gets in a readied stance. Beau comes first, and is dealt with a powerslam. Fortunately for the New South though, it was enough of a distraction for Waylon to land a gutwrench powerbomb. Cover by Waylon Kirk is broken up by Riley Richards. Kirk pops back up and is met with a swinging neckbreaker by Riley Richards. This is followed up by a big splash from Leon Chant, who stays on top for another cover but it’s broken up by David Goon. Beau Traywick returns to the ring as well. David Goon and Beau Traywick have a brief moment of eye contact before they both take down a member of the Academy with dueling hurricanranas, Goon hitting Chant and Traywick hitting Richards. Once David and Beau are back on their feet, Beau turns around and drops Goon with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors. Knowing that won’t be enough for a three count, Traywick waits for Goon to try to get back to his feet and drops him with his signature shotgun dropkick. He pulls him from the ropes and gets the cover but Ricardo Goon breaks up the pin attempt.
After a quick suplex, the rare sighting of Ric being on the top rope makes an appearance, dropping from the corner with a falling headbutt on Beau Traywick. Cover by Goon but the inverse of the last pin attempt occurs with Waylon Kirk breaking up the pin at two. A (legal) low blow on Kirk has Ricardo Goon looking like he is setting up the FU.D.T. (Evenflow DDT) on Kirk as both members of the Academy slide into the ring. As soon as Ricardo tosses Kirk aside to deal with the Academy, Riley Richards hits a superkick right in the face of the NLW Heavyweight Champion as Leon Chant completes the combination with a powerslam. Chant stays in position for the cover but it’s still only a two count. Waylon Kirk is back on his feet and quickly starts striking Riley Richards until he is grabbed from behind by Leon Chant, who sees “little brother” in trouble. Chant holds Kirk in the air for a moment in a vertical suplex while Richards scampers to the top rope and delivers a missile dropkick as Chant drops him for the suplex. Cover by Richards and now it’s David Goon breaking up the pin attempt.
Leon Chant has clearly seen enough and has completely run out of patience, sending Goon right into his large arm with a discus lariat. This gives Riley Richards enough time to get back to his feet so the two members of the Academy can set up and successfully execute the Final Lesson (European Powerbomb) on David Goon. Riley Richards hooks the leg of David Goon while Leon Chant powerslams the entering Beau Traywick. After everything the Goons have done to the Academy members (most notably during the Ricardo Goon versus Leon Chant Heavyweight Championship match), it was poetic that the match was won by Richards pinning a Goon and securing their place at Masquerade.
[WINNERS: The Academy Via Final Lesson at 11:08]
The scene returns once more to the interview area of the Lakefront Arena. For the first time, the interview area also has a Kelly Ross in it. She looks fairly apprehensive, and she’s also looking concerned as she looks at the camera man, who was treated pretty badly by Nathan Cage last show. But she seems relieved, and the reason becomes evident when instead of current champion Ricardo Goon or aggressively hopeful champion Nathan Cage, wrestling newcomer Keahi Sparks walks into the interview area. She is not dressed much differently than normal, just wearing a leather jacket over the usual ring attire of midriff baring top and short tights.
Kelly Ross: Hello, Miss Sparks, welcome to the interview zone. It’s the first time you’ve agreed to speak with me.
Keahi Sparks: I don’t normally have much to say. Anyone who wants to can find most things I’ve said publicly somewhere on NLW.com.
Kelly Ross: I see. Well I guess my job is going to be to coax out some new talking points.
Keahi Sparks: Well, I promise not to abuse any cameramen or security detail...or ring announcers....or random fans....or radio hosts...
Keahi frowns. Kelly looks a little more uncomfortable with each item Keahi lists.
Keahi Sparks: You remember that bit after E.V.E. attacked the Academy, and BB Gunn promised changes? You’d think “stop a trained athlete from terrorizing civvies” would be on the list somewhere. Or...you know, fucking anything?
The intense look Sparks gives Kelly as she asks that makes her recoil a little. Keahi sees this and tones it down a bit.
Keahi Sparks: Sorry. I understand I’m in a business that’s not all puppies and fingerpainting, but the violence should be limited to the trained professionals. I’d let Cage have that if he’d stop getting his rocks off by decking anybody that looks at him funny.
Kelly Ross: We’ll get to Cage in a bit. Before we do, my first question is more about you. You had a rocky start in NLW, but recently you’ve seemed to put the pieces together, given you have a winning streak going that includes former NLW Tag Team Champion and XHF Phoenix champions, Scott Fargo, as well as former XHF Junior Heavyweight Champion, Bloodied Fox, and if we extend the list to your unpinned streak, we add wins over former NLW Heavyweight Champion Finn Whelan and current NLW Heavyweight Champion Ricardo Goon.
Keahi Sparks: Thank you for not counting that as a win, even though the record books do.
Kelly Ross: Of course. Now my question is, you seem to have a profound grasp on the sport for someone so new to it, so how did you come about becoming such a prodigy?
Keahi’s response at first seems to be a long pause with a warm smile, a wink, and a finger to the side of her nose. But when Kelly just looks back at her, unimpressed, Keahi chuckles, shrugging her shoulders.
Keahi Sparks: Of course, my trainer has to get a lot of credit. She’ll be joining me soon on the “beating Junior Heavyweight Champions” list soon, but that’s neither here nor there. But just because I started wrestling professionally five months ago doesn’t mean I started training five months ago. Let’s leave it at that.
Kelly nods, more satisfied with a direct answer.
Kelly Ross: Right. Now earlier tonight, we heard strong words from Nathan Cage. Among other things, he said this.
The two of them turn to a conveniently placed monitor, where a replay is shown to them, and the crowd.
Nathan Cage: Or, it’s Keahi Sparks and her ‘ol pal whinin’ about somethin’ as trivial as a lil steel chair to the dome!
Keahi can’t help but chuckle.
Keahi Sparks: Well, first, I think I want to say, because I don’t say much in public, I know exactly what I’ve said about him since he cost me the NLW Heavyweight Title. There were no mics in my face, but I was still in the building, so some stooges were probably listening in. To wit, “It took three of NLW’s top men to keep the title off me.” No whining about the injustice, just about his impotence. Cage could have left me alone. If I won the title and he wanted the title match, he’d have me one on one. Or he could have his match with Goon without the title. But that’s not good enough.
Kelly Ross: Well.....understand that I have absolutely no love to lose for the man, but with the trail of bodies he’s left in his wake, it’s hard to argue that Nathan Cage isn’t a threat for the NLW Heavyweight Championship, or even the X-Crown.
Keahi Sparks: Oh I totally agree with you. But given the run I’m on, it’s hard for him to argue that I’m not a threat to his championship aspirations, which is why his best argument seems to be “Waah, women whine when wig whacked,” when that’s not even what I said OR where he actually hit me. I dared him to do it, he did, and at Supremacy, he’s gonna’ learn that there’s at least one person in this company that won’t just roll over and die. Or, in the words of...well, we’ll stick with calling him “a man” for now:
Keahi points to the monitor, and on cue, another Nathan Cage line appears.
”On any fuckin’ day anybody can beat anybody.”
Keahi Sparks: So let me make some things real clear.
Keahi Sparks: Do I think I will beat Cage and Ric at Supremacy? Yeah.
Keahi Sparks: Do I think they can beat me? Of course. We’re gonna be wrestling in front of the entire Network next Sunday, so we’re all going to bring our A-Games. Cage can be as unhinged as he wants, and Goon can bring his whole fucking family if he wants, because that’s the only way that I’m not leaving with the belt. So you can pump up my ego by ganging up on me, or you can pull up your big boy pants and give me the fight of your life. I’d tell Cage to bring his A-game, but frankly, I don’t think he’s capable of toning it down, even if he wanted to.
Kelly Ross: (muttering) Some people would be a lot safer if he would...
Keahi Sparks: Go take that up with Gunn, he needs to keep hearing it until he does something. But I think Nate’ll be a little better after Supremacy when he realizes that wanton violence won’t get him everything he wants. Thespian’s getting pretty bent out of shape, maybe after he puts Sexton down, he can work some stuff out with Cage and let the adults handle the business of representing wrestling companies. But hey?
Keahi winks at the camera.
Keahi Sparks: What do I know?
Keahi places her finger against the side of her nose a second time, and that’s the image the camera sits on until it was supposed to cut to ringside, but since it’s been isolated, it just fades out.
MAIN EVENT - MATCH SIX
SOUTHERN STATES TITLE MATCH
The Thespian vs Bloodied Fox
The bell rings to signify the beginning of the main event and, to his credit, Bloodied Fox approaches the middle of the ring with a hand extended for a shake in a show of good sportsmanship toward the reigning Southern States Champion. The Thespian tilts his masked head to one side before visibly heaving a sigh and taking the offered hand… but instead of shaking it? Theo is pulling the Bloody Rainmaker in close, the crowd giving a mixed reaction as there’s a verbal exchange between champion and contender that has Fox’s affable expression shifting to a scowl. The referee forces the two men apart, telling the wrestlers to get the match underway–and the moment that the official gets out of the way? Scar Vulp is lashing out with a vicious palm strike that rocks the champion, the gesture of disrespect clearly getting Fox’s dander up since he’s following that first shot with another, then another, then another, driving Theo into the ropes. Fox attempts to send the champion into the ropes, but Theo reverses, catching Fox on the rebound with a spear that takes the challenger to the mat! The Thespian hooks the leg, only getting a one-count before Scar Vulp kicks out with gusto in spite of the fast-paced match he won earlier in the night, the crowd cheering in support of Fox.
Such only serves to drive the Thespian further into viciousness.
Dragging Scar Vulp to his feet, Thespian ducks an attempted palm strike to drive Fox into the corner with a shoulder block. He hits a second shoulder block, then a flurry of European uppercuts, and when the ref tries to separate him from Fox, he just leaps over and blasts Fox with an enzuigiri that sends Fox staggering down the side of the ring, hand tight on the top rope. Thespian charges in, but Fox lures him in with a Question Mark Kick that knocks him down, but when Fox pins him, he only stays down for one, as well. Fox tries to land some mounted strikes, but Thespian shoves him off. Fox gets a few Kawada kicks in, but Thespian reverses into a wheelbarrow, then plants Bloodied Fox with a facebuster that leads to a two count. Thespian keeps the pressure on, stomping the knee before Fox is even upright. He kicks the knee out once he’s upright to make Fox Break a Leg, then hooks Fox for an Inverted Suplex. But instead of Taking a Bow, Fox tucks himself, landing behind Thespian and landing a Snap Dragon Suplex in one fluid motion! The Fox Trap Suplex reminds everybody why he was a global champion, but Thespian is able to kick out of it before he loses his championship to the challenger.
The nearfall makes Thespian a little more cautious, but no less intense, as seen by his violent thrashing when Fox tries to hook in the Lament Configuration. Thespian remains entangled in the ropes as Fox stands up, taking what little a breather he can. Thespian doesn’t leave it long, getting in his face and starting a good old-fashioned strike off. Do you like palm strikes? Knife-edge chops? Uppercuts? Straight up punching a dude in the head? All these and more can be found in this exchange, which ends when Fox hits an overhead chop. This seems to make Theo laugh, but Fox should have paid more attention instead of just go for another knife-edge chop. He hits that, but Theo ducks the next punch, using the same fluidity of motion Fox did to catch him off guard to blast the challenger with his own MDK! Fox crumples like a sack of potatoes, but when Thespian covers, the crowd pops at the incredibly long near-fall. He looks up at the ref, and for a moment it looks like he’s going to question the count, but he takes a deep breath (or at least looks like he does) and gets back to work.
Thespian starts gesturing for Fox to get up, which is slow going, as the toll of doing two matches in a night starts to become apparent. But Fox does stir, and Thespian waits. When he’s in the right position, Thespian charges, but Fox ducks the charging knee. Fox springs up, avoids Thespian’s follow up, and springboards off the ropes backwards, twisting around into a flying hurricanrana! Thespian is quick to get his feet under him, but when he charges, Fox catches him with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex! He’s slower to get up again, which gives Fox the time to position himself for and hit the Superman Palm Strike that floors Thespian! He covers, but despite the combination, he only gets a two-count out of Bloody Rain, and the veteran starts to look a little harried. But he can’t give up. He turns Thespian over, wanting to go for the Lament Configuration again, but Thespian is wise and locks his arms together long enough to get his foot under the ropes. Fox leans against the ropes to recover a bit as the ref checks on Thespian, trying to get as much energy back as he can. As Thespian is getting up, Fox closes, trying to keep him from getting too much time to recover. Thespian bursts up and starts blasting Fox with more European Uppercuts, but after about four, Fox catches the fifth, twists Thespian up, and throws him over with a yell as he nails the B4! He’s out of energy, but he finds it in himself to flip over and drape an arm across Theo’s chest!
One!
Two!
Three! The crowd goes wild for a second as Fox surges to his feet, but then the wind gets sucked out of the room when the ref starts dramatically pointing at Theo’s bodysuit-covered foot, draped across the bottom rope. Fox sees it and sags immediately. He wants to keep fighting, but it’s clear that he doesn’t have anything left in the tank. He starts dragging Thespian away from the ropes, but it takes visible effort. Then Thespian grabs him in a small package! Fox manages to kick out, but as soon as the two men are disentangled, Thespian rolls to his feet, then barrels through Fox with a brutal knee strike! Fox just goes limp, his body folding over, and Thespian hooks his legs in this state to secure the three count, and retain his championship.
[WINNER: The Thespian via Perfect Tragedy at 15:52]
Dan Simmons: And the Thespian retains after a Hellacious effort from Bloodied Fox!
Tommy West: This match may have had a different outcome if Fox had been fresh, but I’m not taking away from Theo at all. He has proven his dominance toni–
Dan Simmons: What the–LOOK OUT, THEO!
The reason for the shouted warning reveals itself as the fan who was wearing a Thespian costume rushes the ring, clubbing the Southern States Champion from behind to a chorus of confused boos from the crowd. A few vicious stomps rain down on Theo who tries to cover up, but after such a tiring contest? It’s not long at all before the Thespian impersonator has kicked down the genuine article’s defenses. One final kick and Theo goes still, knocked out cold.
Dan Simmons: Where in the Hell is security?!
Tommy West: Wait, I think–
The masked assailant stands tall, reaching up to peel his mask off to reveal a whole new mask, but this one’s made of protective clear plastic, meaning that the fans are able to recognize the man beneath… and the jeers go borderline nuclear as Sexton Love smirks. Throwing the mask he was wearing aside, he quickly drops to one knee as Love goes for the Thespian’s mask.
Sexton Love: I told ya this wasn’t over, daddeh! …I TOLD YA!
The crazed Sexton Love is tackled by two hefty security guards, tearing him off of the wounded champion but, in the process, this allows the Lovely One to tear off another piece of the Thespian’s mask.
Sexton Love: Don’t touch me, FATBOY!
Sexton catches a security guard with an elbow shot to the face, busting open the poor bastard’s nose.
Ironic.
Still feeling the effects of his own injury, Sexton lunges towards the Thespian again… but is restrained at the last second thanks to the timely arrival of even more NLW officials, rushing down to ringside from the backstage area. It’s pandemonium.
Sexton Love: You ain’t man enough to fight me! …YOU AIN’T MAN ENOUGH!
Security has Big Daddy Love pinned to the guardrail, allowing medics to check on the partially unmasked Southern States Champion.
Sexton Love: One more time, freakshow… FIGHT ME ON THE BIG STAGE!
Red in the face, and still struggling in vain to break free, Sexton yells at the top of his lungs. A challenge heard around the wrestling world:
Sexton Love: I WANT YOU AT SUPREMACY, DADDEH! …AND I’M GONNA FINISH THE DAMN JOB!
With that, the show fades to black.
