Competition Only for Combatiente and Kanyon (Battle Royale)
Feb 9, 2022 1:31:28 GMT -5
Spike Kane, Venom 🕷, and 1 more like this
Post by Dylan on Feb 9, 2022 1:31:28 GMT -5
Black. Nothing to be seen or heard. That is, until a sigh. A click. A dial tone. Some unintelligible words are heard before a beep. A deep breath.
Hey, Anthony. I got your message, your offer for a spot in the Championship Open Challenge Kup Battle Royale. Aptly named, might I add. I thought about it for a few days, it's an interesting offer. I sat down with my good friend Antonio Katō. We considered every aspect, every detail imaginable. The simple thing is, now that someone stole my arm and has the rights to keep it, I have to start making a substantial amount of money just to get another one. Would you believe these robotic limbs cost me an arm and a leg to acquire?
He chuckles, knowing full well that was a really bad joke.
Sorry. It's force of habit to joke about my shortcomings. Can't be hurt if I make the jokes first... I feel a little embarrassed coming to the show like this. Not being able to give you my 100%. In this state of being, state of mind. One armed, short on cash. But, I guess sometimes we gotta swallow our pride if we want to make ends meet, right? Do things we don't really want to do. That's not to say I don't want to be a participant. But I guess the grind, the struggle. It's a slog, you know? Grinding for my basic human right to a full set of limbs, never thought that'd be something I'd have to do in my life.
A pause.
But alright, battle royale. You tossed a quick twist in there that last two standing get to challenge your FIRESIDE Tag Team Champions, Los BANG! Hermanos, with the straps on the line. Very intriguing. I'm certainly not one to turn down a chance at gold. And considering that I'm the winner of the 2021 Rumble, eliminating your golden goose Misha in the process, I'd say I am in a favorable spot to outlast in this battle royale. I don't have to eliminate anyone from this shit. In 2018, I was a slithery snake. I hid, I cowered and I outlasted a majority of the field. Granted, both those instances I had two arms so it'll be interesting to see just how I handle this shit with one arm.
He stretches his robotic fingers, to keep them nice and limber.
Have to say though, I love how you've opened this up to outsiders around the XHF Network. Have you come to realize that maybe your homegrown heroes, the people you've invested time and money into and watched grow into the shining stars they are today, aren't good enough to handle the manpower of your Tag Team Champions? That's what's crazy, Caff. You've had what, three or four teams step up and get knocked down by Los BANG! Hermanos? Or the Unique Stud Alliance? Or whatever bastardized version of that team shows up this quarter? Put your money where your mouth is, not a SINGLE team from FIRESIDE has been able to take what those boys cherish most, because they don't realize those boys are as tough as they come. No, because your FIRESIDE crew isn't as good as you've hyped them up to be. Even you have had a taste of how disappointing the boys in the big F jackets are. But it's become very. Very. Clear that FIRESIDE cannot handle the might of Los BANG! Hermanos. Here's where me and my... unique skillset steps in, for I have experience in this quest every step of the way.
Dylan hangs up the phone and turns to the camera that's been recording him this whole time. Caffrey'll still find this part but as it's not meant for him, he won't have it right away.
When it comes to battle royales, there's a reason they call me the XHF Iron Man. I will walk into this match, I'll toss out anyone I have to just to stick it to the system you have set up here. Then when the battlefield is chosen and a date is set, me and my mystery partner will walk out and we will do what we do best. And it doesn't matter who my partner is because I've made a habit of turning any thrown together, ragtag duo and making diamonds out of shit. Jeffrey Viper. Thayne Bell. Steven Dackle. Muhammed Irman the Third. When any randomized partner steps out with Dylan Black at their side, the Daemon of Mayhem will demolish anything in his path to take the win.
He grins.
And to the good ol' boys, Curtis D. Kanyon and El Combatiente. I know you two will be busy ogling at Death Trap's abs of steel. Staring inappropriately at Mistress Discipline and her assets. Watching out for whoever the hell the Boarding Party are. I want you to make sure that when the first bell rings your eyes are glued to the screen to keep tabs on what I can do. The C.O.C.K. battle royale will only be a warning, but when I win that and meet you guys into the ring, the nightmares you'll have from your not-so-subtle gimmick name will become a harsh truth. And THAT'S reality!
Dylan curls his fingers into a fist and snarls at the camera.
LOS BANG! HERMANOS! BEWARE THE DAEMON OF MAYHEM! BEWARE DYLAN BLACK!
And beware whoever has the fortunacy of being able to stand at my side to crumple your empire for good.
Fin.