Post by Dave D-Flipz on Feb 12, 2022 11:31:37 GMT -5
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I don’t understand. Why are you doing this to me?
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: You not need understand. I be you! I bring about new age!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You keep saying that, but if it takes a scientific invention for most people to stand being in MY presence, how can you convince people to support you with … THAT … face?
Burninator: GGRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!
*Flames sizzle in the back of the throat of the Burninator as smoke billows from his nostrils. He stands over Doof in intimidating fashion. As Dr. Doof remains clamped to one of those X Shaped rocks you see in torture scenes in movies, he cowers behind the steamy breath of his one time invention.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: My friend here. He convince people. With VIOLENCE! And FIRE!
Burninator: HUFFFFFFFFF!!!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: He certainly makes a convincing argument … I still don’t understand why you need me for that.
*Doof eyes up the Burninator and his evil doppelganger created from the garbage parts of the eldritch energy transfer and his own memories of the eldritch energies. Rd. Food simply smiles a deranged, evil, ugly, yellow-toothed smile.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Originally? Was fun. Me need replace you anyway.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You need speech therapy.
*Rd. Food slams his hands on the stone slab next to Doof’s head.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: SILENCE! ME REPLACE YOU! But now, me need information. Why won’t computer execute programs? Need Chthulu! Summon him via technology! THAT WHICH ETERNAL SLEEPS CANNOT DIE!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You think I know how that computer works? That’s not my area of expertise. I INVENT things. I’m too brilliant to be tied down by this Bill Gates and Steve Jobs led world of tech!
*Rd. Food huffs and shrugs.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: No matter. We need sacrifices of blood and mind for the Fallen One. Me bring him you … and friends!
*He pulls a cord and a curtain slides open to reveal Ovi Kintobor and Ian Brundle, the pit crew of the angry mad chemists. Ovi is trapped in a human hamster wheel, being forced to run to power the machines in the lair. Ian is in a tank, being blasted by the mobile indoctrinator to milk his sweat for coolant and hydration. The poor man looks like he swam in the ocean.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: IAN! OVI! … You know they aren’t my friends, they work for me. If I didn’t pay them they’d probably all abandon me?
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: THEY ARE IN IT NOW THOUGH! You together. You all together.
*Doof’s eyes perk up*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wait … where’s Billy?
*Food laughs that evil laugh*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: No inquiries! No cops! Cannot have entire team missing. There news reports on you all! Had to release him to race. Told him if he keeps winning, we might release you. Me not do it but he need trust me. Other option is send him to lose mind and see face of Old Ones!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: YOU MONSTERS! I’m supposed to be the evil one! CURSE YOU FOOD THE DOPPELGANGER!
*Food chuckles and turns to the Burninator*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Go friend. Get race winnings from Billy. Remind him of power of us! Make sure he fells no love this race. Keep CAR and Mongo off our backs. I figure out machine, and if not? Maybe I get these fools help me!
*He goes back to eyeing up his computer which seems to keep releasing snide remarks and useless analyses every time he tries to do eldritch work. But seems to respond well to watching clips of CAR. He slams his hands on the keyboard as another error pops up and scolds him.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: YOU MOTHER-
*We cut out*
1. What is love?
Billy: Useless drivel that leads to pain and misery. People fawn over men like Captain Hammer and all I get is scorn and death…
2. Is that outline a heart or someone’s bottom?
Billy: I suppose it’s a matter of perspective.
3. Did you dodge that?
Billy: *THWACK* OW! CURSES! NO!
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Billy: Hello postrace media! PLEASE SEND HEL-
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Billy: HELLO PLEASE SAVE US!
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: You not need understand. I be you! I bring about new age!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You keep saying that, but if it takes a scientific invention for most people to stand being in MY presence, how can you convince people to support you with … THAT … face?
Burninator: GGRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!
*Flames sizzle in the back of the throat of the Burninator as smoke billows from his nostrils. He stands over Doof in intimidating fashion. As Dr. Doof remains clamped to one of those X Shaped rocks you see in torture scenes in movies, he cowers behind the steamy breath of his one time invention.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: My friend here. He convince people. With VIOLENCE! And FIRE!
Burninator: HUFFFFFFFFF!!!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: He certainly makes a convincing argument … I still don’t understand why you need me for that.
*Doof eyes up the Burninator and his evil doppelganger created from the garbage parts of the eldritch energy transfer and his own memories of the eldritch energies. Rd. Food simply smiles a deranged, evil, ugly, yellow-toothed smile.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Originally? Was fun. Me need replace you anyway.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You need speech therapy.
*Rd. Food slams his hands on the stone slab next to Doof’s head.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: SILENCE! ME REPLACE YOU! But now, me need information. Why won’t computer execute programs? Need Chthulu! Summon him via technology! THAT WHICH ETERNAL SLEEPS CANNOT DIE!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You think I know how that computer works? That’s not my area of expertise. I INVENT things. I’m too brilliant to be tied down by this Bill Gates and Steve Jobs led world of tech!
*Rd. Food huffs and shrugs.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: No matter. We need sacrifices of blood and mind for the Fallen One. Me bring him you … and friends!
*He pulls a cord and a curtain slides open to reveal Ovi Kintobor and Ian Brundle, the pit crew of the angry mad chemists. Ovi is trapped in a human hamster wheel, being forced to run to power the machines in the lair. Ian is in a tank, being blasted by the mobile indoctrinator to milk his sweat for coolant and hydration. The poor man looks like he swam in the ocean.*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: IAN! OVI! … You know they aren’t my friends, they work for me. If I didn’t pay them they’d probably all abandon me?
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: THEY ARE IN IT NOW THOUGH! You together. You all together.
*Doof’s eyes perk up*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wait … where’s Billy?
*Food laughs that evil laugh*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: No inquiries! No cops! Cannot have entire team missing. There news reports on you all! Had to release him to race. Told him if he keeps winning, we might release you. Me not do it but he need trust me. Other option is send him to lose mind and see face of Old Ones!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: YOU MONSTERS! I’m supposed to be the evil one! CURSE YOU FOOD THE DOPPELGANGER!
*Food chuckles and turns to the Burninator*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: Go friend. Get race winnings from Billy. Remind him of power of us! Make sure he fells no love this race. Keep CAR and Mongo off our backs. I figure out machine, and if not? Maybe I get these fools help me!
*He goes back to eyeing up his computer which seems to keep releasing snide remarks and useless analyses every time he tries to do eldritch work. But seems to respond well to watching clips of CAR. He slams his hands on the keyboard as another error pops up and scolds him.*
Rd. Ztrimhsnefood: YOU MOTHER-
*We cut out*
1. What is love?
Billy: Useless drivel that leads to pain and misery. People fawn over men like Captain Hammer and all I get is scorn and death…
2. Is that outline a heart or someone’s bottom?
Billy: I suppose it’s a matter of perspective.
3. Did you dodge that?
Billy: *THWACK* OW! CURSES! NO!
4. How will your team respond to winning?
Billy: Hello postrace media! PLEASE SEND HEL-
5. How will your team respond to not winning?
Billy: HELLO PLEASE SAVE US!
