BIG FIGHT FIGHT NIGHT! (Not) LIVE! - ANALYSIS EDITION!
Feb 14, 2022 2:20:05 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Spike Kane, and 1 more like this
Post by Vodka Fizz on Feb 14, 2022 2:20:05 GMT -5
The show opens to an analyst desk. There is a large ‘Big Fight Fight Night’ logo on the wall behind the desk, but the set is otherwise rather plain. There are a trio of hosts present, including a brilliantly-smiling red-haired woman in a Fargo t-shirt, a comparatively disinterested looking man with short blond hair, facial piercings, and too-much eye makeup, and a man in a velour tracksuit and a luchador mask that appears to have been made out of Pabst Blue Ribbon boxes. The trio appear to be chatting back and forth, laughing at jokes that aren’t audible, until a countdown timer takes the place of the BFFN Logo.
When the timer counts down to zero, Fight Song by Sister Sin starts to play.
After the first verse, the song drops off, and the camera pans back in on the trio of hosts. The red-head is the first to speak.
Delaney: Good evening, XHF Fans, and welcome to BIG FIGHT FIGHT NIGHT! LIVE! - Analysis Edition! Due to some technical difficulties, the show was not able to be broadcast live, which is maybe a bit ironic.
She shrugs.
Delaney: Aaaaanyway, we were the commentary team at the show, and we’ll be your hosts tonight. I’m Sarah Delaney-
She points at the blonde man, who rolls his eyes.
Kincaid: I’m Ike Kincaid-
The man in the luchador mask perks up, rising from his seat and striking a pose..
Dragon: And I’m Bootleg Dragon!
Dragon pauses for imagined applause. Sarah applauds for him and, after a minute, Ike joins in with some half-hearted claps. Dragon looks pleased with their reaction, dropping back into his chair.
Kincaid: So if Bootsy’s done being a doofus, we can get on with it tonight.
Delaney: Be nice, Zacky.
Kincaid flushes, sputtering for a moment before finally harrumphing, crossing his arms and slumping down in his chair. Delaney grins a dazzling grin at him before shuffling a ream of papers, turning her attention back to the camera.
Delaney: So let’s get to it!
The green screen behind the trio changes to show Joe Nobody and Fargo.
Kincaid: Our first match of the night was XHF stalwart Joe Nobody versus Fargo. And I gotta tell you, on paper this match was mint. You have two guys that are about the same height, about the same weight, and about the same age. In reality, for a curtain jerker this match was better than it had any right to be.
Dragon: You got that right, Ike. And both men brought it, too. There were times when it looked like this match was going to be a grand return to form for Joe Nobody, but in the end, it was NLW’s Fargo that eked out a win by submission.
Delaney: I loved this match. I loved this match enough that I had to go and buy a Fargo T-Shirt. And full disclosure, I think it might have been for the TV series on FX. But I wanted a shirt that said Fargo on it, and this fit the bill. Honestly, though, I agree with you guys. Joe Nobody brought it harder than anybody expected it to, but it wasn’t quite enough to bring home the W. And that finishing sequence… Man that was something to experience.
Delaney has a sort of dreamy look on her face, and Boots and Kincaid both nod. On the green screen, Joe Nobody is grayed out, and Fargo is highlighted, before it wipes to a banner that says ‘MATCH 2:’ and then Adam Sanders and Shizuku Yamamoto appear on the green screen.
Dragon: Our second match of the night was Shizuku Yamamoto from Sky Force versus Adam Sanders. And I don’t think there’s much to say about this from an analysis standpoint. Adam Sanders tried to make the best of a bad situation, but in the end it was still a bad situation.
Delaney: Somehow on a show where there’s not supposed to be any disqualifications, this match ended by referee stoppage. I dunno what else to say: Adam Sanders tried, but Yamamoto and Sky Force is a huge obstacle to overcome.
Kincaid: I’d like to see a second take on this match at some point. There was some great work in this match. It could have been incredible, but it just wasn’t. But I’m with you guys, this was a strong showing for Sanders, and Yamamoto and Sky Force looked like a bunch of punks.
Delaney and Dragon sound affirmatives, and both Sanders and Yamamoto are grayed out on the board. They wipe to a ‘MATCH 3’ banner, and Chris Sanderson and Sapphire appear on the screen.
Delaney: I don’t think anybody really knew what to expect from Sapphire. Chris Sanderson has put up great matches all over the network, and Sapphire was largely an unknown element. But this match was amazing. These two threw everything they had at one another. In the end it was Sapphire that took the win by knockout, and she earned it.
Dragon: Sapphire came in with the idea to prove something. And I think Sanderson was betrayed by overconfidence versus a comparatively new opponent. That said, this match was a clinic. Nobody should be ashamed of their performance; like Sarah said, they laid out everything they had. Sapphire just wanted it more, and that came through in her dominant performance versus the XHF veteran.
Kincaid: I liked this match a lot. Sanderson came in strong, and up until the end he kept pace with Sapphire, who’s wrestling style is much better suited to this kind of event. The fact that Sapphire won by knockout says a lot about how hard Sanderson was willing to go. This may have been my favorite match of the night.
Chris Sanderson is grayed out, and Sapphire is highlighted, before the board wipes to ‘Match 4,’ displaying Esmeralda Von Krauss and Rebecca Brookes.
Dragon: This is another match without much to say. Rebecca Brookes never got started, and Esmeralda Von Krauss won in our first pinfall of the night.
Kincaid: This match sucked. Piss break material. If you’re watching the show on VOD, skip it.
Delaney: I really expected more from these two. It’s a shame they didn’t come through.
Delaney shuffles her papers again, and Kincaid and Dragon look disappointed. Brookes is grayed out on the board and Von Krauss is highlighted. The board wipes to ‘MATCH 5’ and Poena and Cross Recoba appear on the screen.
Kincaid: Boy, this match. One one hand, you have Cross Recoba, who thinks he’s a big deal. Then you have Poena, who thinks he’s the chosen one. I honestly didn;t know what to expect; I know Cross was a major player for AWF before it shut down, but I was never really into AWF. That said, these two brought it hard. In a great match, Poena took the win by pinfall. Barely.
Delaney: Cross Recoba versus Poena sounds like kind of a weird match, but like everything else on this card, this match was a fun surprise. Cross Recoba’s been rather silent since the AWF shut down, but he proved that he hasn’t missed a step. And Poena, Poena may be a whack-a-doodle-doo, but Cross played off that energy beautifly. This might have been my match of the night.
Dragon: I don’t know what to say that hasn;t been said. I just hope we see more from these two, wherever it happens to be.
Cross Recoba is grayed out, and Poena is highlighted. The board wipes to show ‘MATCH 6’ and Sam Sawyer and Florida Man appear on the board.
Dragon: …I’m still not sure what to say about this match. I’m honestly just glad that Sam Sawyer won, cause I don’t think I could have taken whatever victory celebration Florida Man would have had in store.
Kincaid: Florida Man is fascinating. There were a few times I found myself pulling for the guy, if only to see what else his chaotic energy would have brought to the table. That said, Sam Sawyer brought a whole new level of intensity. Flo did everything he could to keep up, but the Kid earned their victory.
Delaney: Florida Man is another whackadoo, but there’s just something about him. Maybe it’s those dead plastic eyes…. Hm. I dunno. At the start of the night, Flo would have been my choice to take this match, but Sawyer really brought their A-game, and they overwhelmed Florida Man. There are big things in Sam Sawyer’s future.
Florida Man is grayed out, and Sam Sawyer is highlighted. The board wipes to show ‘MATCH 7’, then Erin Gordon and Aiden Merric appear on the green screen.
Delaney: There was a whole lotta hype for this match. Erin Gordon was the last AWF US Champion, and Aiden Merric was the person she faced off against. This was almost the emotional main event, in a sense, because it closed a chapter on these two that never got a chance to get a proper finish where it started. Gordon and Merric really lit it up, too. This duo has great ring chemistry, let’s be honest. And while there may be some people that were disappointed in the ending, I can’t think of a more fitting metaphor for this feud than a time-limit finish with a split decision victory awarded to Erin Gordon.
Dragon: There is no question that the emotional aspect of this match made it feel a lot better. Gordon and Merric threw down, and they put on an unquestionable contender for match of the night., I will say that for someone who claimed he wasn;t interested in the chase, Merric did seem to have a pretty sharp focus. It is a shame the match went to a time limit decision, because it doesn;t feel like it actually settled anything, but time will tell whether this is the last clash we see between Erin Gordon and Aiden Merric.
Kincaid: I’m not sure if Aiden Merric is Australian, Scottish, or if he’s just a degenerate bush person. I know his promo about shitting himself in the woods was a weird choice. He did present better in the match than I expected, and he did his best to square up to the pugilist, but Erin Gordon managed to be more impressive in the end, and she won a hard for victory, decision or no.
Aiden Merric is grayed out, and Erin Gordon is highlighted. The board wipes to show ‘MAIN EVENT’ and then pictures of Spike Kane and Bloodied Fox appear.
Dragon: In our main event, surprising nobody, the former X*Crown champion and the former XHF Jr. Heavyweight champion tore the place up. This match was beautifully brutal. Spike Kane proved that he deserved his reputation as the hardest man in the XHF, and Bloodied Fox stepped up to everything Spike threw at him and threw it back. Spike Kane needed a win after a couple of rough losses lately; unfortunately this was the wrong night and the wrong opponent. Fox took it by pinfall in a very hard fought contest, but it could have gone either way right up to the end.
Kincaid: I’m a big fan of Spike Kane, and that hasn;t changed. But Bloodied Fox is a name that deserves consideration no matter where you are.This is another match where nobody should feel ashamed at the result, because they went hard. They went harder than hard. The only reason I didn;’t call this my match of the night was because two men we expected a great match from delivered a great match. And that is a great thing.
Delaney: Foxy brought the thunder. Spike brought the chair. And between the two of ‘em, they brought the house down. I would watch this match a hundred times over, because the story it tells is immaculate. I feel bad for Spike, being that he’s on a losing streak now, but if anyone can turn it around it’s him. All that said, what a match. Holy shit.
Spike is grayed out, and Fox is highlighted, before the board wiped back to the BFFN Logo.
Delaney: And with that, we’ve reached the end of BIG FIGHT FIGHT NIGHT! LIVE! - Analysis edition. Once again, we apologize that the show wasn;t streamed properly, but it will be made available soon. In the mean time, I’ve been Sarah Delaney-
Kincaid: I’ve been Ike Kincaid-
Dragon takes his hero pose again.
Dragon: And I’ve been Bootleg Dragon!
All Three: Good night, everybody!
The feed cuts to black.
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When the timer counts down to zero, Fight Song by Sister Sin starts to play.
After the first verse, the song drops off, and the camera pans back in on the trio of hosts. The red-head is the first to speak.
Delaney: Good evening, XHF Fans, and welcome to BIG FIGHT FIGHT NIGHT! LIVE! - Analysis Edition! Due to some technical difficulties, the show was not able to be broadcast live, which is maybe a bit ironic.
She shrugs.
Delaney: Aaaaanyway, we were the commentary team at the show, and we’ll be your hosts tonight. I’m Sarah Delaney-
She points at the blonde man, who rolls his eyes.
Kincaid: I’m Ike Kincaid-
The man in the luchador mask perks up, rising from his seat and striking a pose..
Dragon: And I’m Bootleg Dragon!
Dragon pauses for imagined applause. Sarah applauds for him and, after a minute, Ike joins in with some half-hearted claps. Dragon looks pleased with their reaction, dropping back into his chair.
Kincaid: So if Bootsy’s done being a doofus, we can get on with it tonight.
Delaney: Be nice, Zacky.
Kincaid flushes, sputtering for a moment before finally harrumphing, crossing his arms and slumping down in his chair. Delaney grins a dazzling grin at him before shuffling a ream of papers, turning her attention back to the camera.
Delaney: So let’s get to it!
The green screen behind the trio changes to show Joe Nobody and Fargo.
Kincaid: Our first match of the night was XHF stalwart Joe Nobody versus Fargo. And I gotta tell you, on paper this match was mint. You have two guys that are about the same height, about the same weight, and about the same age. In reality, for a curtain jerker this match was better than it had any right to be.
Dragon: You got that right, Ike. And both men brought it, too. There were times when it looked like this match was going to be a grand return to form for Joe Nobody, but in the end, it was NLW’s Fargo that eked out a win by submission.
Delaney: I loved this match. I loved this match enough that I had to go and buy a Fargo T-Shirt. And full disclosure, I think it might have been for the TV series on FX. But I wanted a shirt that said Fargo on it, and this fit the bill. Honestly, though, I agree with you guys. Joe Nobody brought it harder than anybody expected it to, but it wasn’t quite enough to bring home the W. And that finishing sequence… Man that was something to experience.
Delaney has a sort of dreamy look on her face, and Boots and Kincaid both nod. On the green screen, Joe Nobody is grayed out, and Fargo is highlighted, before it wipes to a banner that says ‘MATCH 2:’ and then Adam Sanders and Shizuku Yamamoto appear on the green screen.
Dragon: Our second match of the night was Shizuku Yamamoto from Sky Force versus Adam Sanders. And I don’t think there’s much to say about this from an analysis standpoint. Adam Sanders tried to make the best of a bad situation, but in the end it was still a bad situation.
Delaney: Somehow on a show where there’s not supposed to be any disqualifications, this match ended by referee stoppage. I dunno what else to say: Adam Sanders tried, but Yamamoto and Sky Force is a huge obstacle to overcome.
Kincaid: I’d like to see a second take on this match at some point. There was some great work in this match. It could have been incredible, but it just wasn’t. But I’m with you guys, this was a strong showing for Sanders, and Yamamoto and Sky Force looked like a bunch of punks.
Delaney and Dragon sound affirmatives, and both Sanders and Yamamoto are grayed out on the board. They wipe to a ‘MATCH 3’ banner, and Chris Sanderson and Sapphire appear on the screen.
Delaney: I don’t think anybody really knew what to expect from Sapphire. Chris Sanderson has put up great matches all over the network, and Sapphire was largely an unknown element. But this match was amazing. These two threw everything they had at one another. In the end it was Sapphire that took the win by knockout, and she earned it.
Dragon: Sapphire came in with the idea to prove something. And I think Sanderson was betrayed by overconfidence versus a comparatively new opponent. That said, this match was a clinic. Nobody should be ashamed of their performance; like Sarah said, they laid out everything they had. Sapphire just wanted it more, and that came through in her dominant performance versus the XHF veteran.
Kincaid: I liked this match a lot. Sanderson came in strong, and up until the end he kept pace with Sapphire, who’s wrestling style is much better suited to this kind of event. The fact that Sapphire won by knockout says a lot about how hard Sanderson was willing to go. This may have been my favorite match of the night.
Chris Sanderson is grayed out, and Sapphire is highlighted, before the board wipes to ‘Match 4,’ displaying Esmeralda Von Krauss and Rebecca Brookes.
Dragon: This is another match without much to say. Rebecca Brookes never got started, and Esmeralda Von Krauss won in our first pinfall of the night.
Kincaid: This match sucked. Piss break material. If you’re watching the show on VOD, skip it.
Delaney: I really expected more from these two. It’s a shame they didn’t come through.
Delaney shuffles her papers again, and Kincaid and Dragon look disappointed. Brookes is grayed out on the board and Von Krauss is highlighted. The board wipes to ‘MATCH 5’ and Poena and Cross Recoba appear on the screen.
Kincaid: Boy, this match. One one hand, you have Cross Recoba, who thinks he’s a big deal. Then you have Poena, who thinks he’s the chosen one. I honestly didn;t know what to expect; I know Cross was a major player for AWF before it shut down, but I was never really into AWF. That said, these two brought it hard. In a great match, Poena took the win by pinfall. Barely.
Delaney: Cross Recoba versus Poena sounds like kind of a weird match, but like everything else on this card, this match was a fun surprise. Cross Recoba’s been rather silent since the AWF shut down, but he proved that he hasn’t missed a step. And Poena, Poena may be a whack-a-doodle-doo, but Cross played off that energy beautifly. This might have been my match of the night.
Dragon: I don’t know what to say that hasn;t been said. I just hope we see more from these two, wherever it happens to be.
Cross Recoba is grayed out, and Poena is highlighted. The board wipes to show ‘MATCH 6’ and Sam Sawyer and Florida Man appear on the board.
Dragon: …I’m still not sure what to say about this match. I’m honestly just glad that Sam Sawyer won, cause I don’t think I could have taken whatever victory celebration Florida Man would have had in store.
Kincaid: Florida Man is fascinating. There were a few times I found myself pulling for the guy, if only to see what else his chaotic energy would have brought to the table. That said, Sam Sawyer brought a whole new level of intensity. Flo did everything he could to keep up, but the Kid earned their victory.
Delaney: Florida Man is another whackadoo, but there’s just something about him. Maybe it’s those dead plastic eyes…. Hm. I dunno. At the start of the night, Flo would have been my choice to take this match, but Sawyer really brought their A-game, and they overwhelmed Florida Man. There are big things in Sam Sawyer’s future.
Florida Man is grayed out, and Sam Sawyer is highlighted. The board wipes to show ‘MATCH 7’, then Erin Gordon and Aiden Merric appear on the green screen.
Delaney: There was a whole lotta hype for this match. Erin Gordon was the last AWF US Champion, and Aiden Merric was the person she faced off against. This was almost the emotional main event, in a sense, because it closed a chapter on these two that never got a chance to get a proper finish where it started. Gordon and Merric really lit it up, too. This duo has great ring chemistry, let’s be honest. And while there may be some people that were disappointed in the ending, I can’t think of a more fitting metaphor for this feud than a time-limit finish with a split decision victory awarded to Erin Gordon.
Dragon: There is no question that the emotional aspect of this match made it feel a lot better. Gordon and Merric threw down, and they put on an unquestionable contender for match of the night., I will say that for someone who claimed he wasn;t interested in the chase, Merric did seem to have a pretty sharp focus. It is a shame the match went to a time limit decision, because it doesn;t feel like it actually settled anything, but time will tell whether this is the last clash we see between Erin Gordon and Aiden Merric.
Kincaid: I’m not sure if Aiden Merric is Australian, Scottish, or if he’s just a degenerate bush person. I know his promo about shitting himself in the woods was a weird choice. He did present better in the match than I expected, and he did his best to square up to the pugilist, but Erin Gordon managed to be more impressive in the end, and she won a hard for victory, decision or no.
Aiden Merric is grayed out, and Erin Gordon is highlighted. The board wipes to show ‘MAIN EVENT’ and then pictures of Spike Kane and Bloodied Fox appear.
Dragon: In our main event, surprising nobody, the former X*Crown champion and the former XHF Jr. Heavyweight champion tore the place up. This match was beautifully brutal. Spike Kane proved that he deserved his reputation as the hardest man in the XHF, and Bloodied Fox stepped up to everything Spike threw at him and threw it back. Spike Kane needed a win after a couple of rough losses lately; unfortunately this was the wrong night and the wrong opponent. Fox took it by pinfall in a very hard fought contest, but it could have gone either way right up to the end.
Kincaid: I’m a big fan of Spike Kane, and that hasn;t changed. But Bloodied Fox is a name that deserves consideration no matter where you are.This is another match where nobody should feel ashamed at the result, because they went hard. They went harder than hard. The only reason I didn;’t call this my match of the night was because two men we expected a great match from delivered a great match. And that is a great thing.
Delaney: Foxy brought the thunder. Spike brought the chair. And between the two of ‘em, they brought the house down. I would watch this match a hundred times over, because the story it tells is immaculate. I feel bad for Spike, being that he’s on a losing streak now, but if anyone can turn it around it’s him. All that said, what a match. Holy shit.
Spike is grayed out, and Fox is highlighted, before the board wiped back to the BFFN Logo.
Delaney: And with that, we’ve reached the end of BIG FIGHT FIGHT NIGHT! LIVE! - Analysis edition. Once again, we apologize that the show wasn;t streamed properly, but it will be made available soon. In the mean time, I’ve been Sarah Delaney-
Kincaid: I’ve been Ike Kincaid-
Dragon takes his hero pose again.
Dragon: And I’ve been Bootleg Dragon!
All Three: Good night, everybody!
The feed cuts to black.
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