Post by BrainScratch on Feb 18, 2022 1:28:04 GMT -5
In a very dark place sits a very bright woman. By that meaning the brightness of her blue hair and green outfit, but underneath the shiny exterior of one Joy Fannigan does lie plenty of brilliance. She just happens to be easily distracted and utterly unlucky, antipodal of her Irish heritage. Joy glances upward at the grimy circus tent above her head and sighs. She's just had what one might call a wrestling match, but it was against an untrained woman. Joy ended it with one strike. Not exactly a Fantastic contest. Just then her phone rings. The name shown startles her before she answers and tries her best to sound enthusiastic.
"Hey, Mam!"
Joy listens to the coddling of her mother for a few seconds.
"Oh I'm doing fine. In fact I just had a match! And I won!"
More chiding continues to intercept most of Joy's words.
"Well no, it won't be on the telly... No, it's not for Disney. They're still working on Inside Out 2, I'm sure of it!"
Joy pulls at her blue hair anxiously. It's been years since Pixar asked her to appear as the anthropomorphic cartoon emotion for mall openings and the like.
"Well I don't care if Kayleigh's husband was on the local news... That stupid hog farm smells... No I don't care if he has a tall brother."
Finally her mom says something insulting that incenses Joy.
"Stop it. America isn't killing my Irish, and my silly little fighting career is going just fine! You'll see. I love you, but feckin goodbye!"
She throws the phone down, with an angry spark in her eyes that's only quelled by the right arm that embraces her around the shoulder. Her boyfriend, a young fresh-faced man named Iro Waters, sets his motorcycle helmet onto the tarps under their feet, and tries to console her.
"You okay?"
"Aye, I guess..."
"You know, when I was kid, my parents used to run tests on laboratory pigs for a study. So my backyard was kind of hog farm, too. Maybe your mom would approve."
"Oh shut up you."
She slaps his leg and the two chuckle with each other. A curtain pushes in, and appearing before them is Fireside Wrestling's giant Edward Zepp. Ed and Iro nod at each other, the two being familiar in their past.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Heyyyyyyyy!" Joy points to both of them exuberantly. "Sorry, just trying to fit in with the macho silent guys..."
"Right. Thanks for coming, but you don't really belong here."
"Wha?!" Joy nearly swallows her tongue.
"Hey big man, with what we've been through, you and Isaiah owed me a favor."
Iro stands up, only half a foot shorter than the giant. Edward rubs his chin at the backlash.
"Not what I meant. I mean you shouldn't be be slumming it at my brother's publicity stunt. She's an actual talent. We can't really pay you..."
"Oh that's fine, the catering was awesome!"
Joy pats her stomach. Zepp and Waters are equally confused.
"Catering?"
"Yeah! The icecream truck out there had a pile of hotdogs!"
"Don't eat anything from the clown..."
"Tooooo late."
"Anyway. Eye is usually the one who knows a guy to lend a helping hand. But he's having this midlife crisis... It's not much, but there's a new group I heard about."
Ed hands Joy a flier for the CWF, and her eyes light up.
"Oh wow! So you know a guy there?"
"Kind of."
"You kind of know him??"
"He's kind of a guy. More of a dinosaur."
"Just what are you trying to sell us?" Waters skims the paperwork, skeptical. "Wait this says Brazil!"
"I looked into it, they're legit. It's only a suggestion. Wish I could offer more. Thank you for helping with my brother's weird idea."
Edward takes his leave as suddenly as he entered. Joy fiddles with the paper and bites at her nails as Iro shakes his head.
"I thought he was the normal Zepp, back when he didn't talk. Heh... Brazil."
"Hah! Yeah! I mean, how would I even get to Brazil!? Where even IS Brazil!? Is that where they make all the wax?! Like how long would it take to drive there..."
"Joy that'd be at least a fifteen hour flight. You're not really considering it..."
"Well what else is there? I gotta do somethin'! It's either this or I'll have to go back home and move to Ferguson's feckin' piggy farm."
Her boyfriend gives a look of consternation, but he pats her on the head.
"Would I be invited to the farm?"
"Nope! It's across the ocean, your scooter won't make it!"
"I guess we can't have that then. C'mon, we'll call this CWF and see what the deal is. Let's get out of here before something else weird happens."
Something else weird happens. A haggard clown stumbles into the makeshift back room.
"Hiya there folks, any of yous see a bunch of red skinny balloons anywhere?"
Iro grabs his motorcycle helmet and hurries Joy out of the tent as she rubs at her tummy.
"Afraid not."
- - - - - - - - -
After much deliberation (by Iro), vetting (also Iro), and preparation (Iro), Joy was set for her flight to join the Conquest Wrestling Federation. For her part, Joy did jump back into her gym routine, and re-dyed her hair to a more normal bleached blonde. She was going to make the most of this opportunity to reinvent herself. However, as she touches down, she regrets not listening to Waters about the weather. She assumed flying so far south would put her in the Antarctic, so the poor girl wore her winter gear. The sweltering humidity eats her up. The closest shops she can find are all selling skimpy bikinis, so she shrugs and purchases a bright yellow number before her first appearance for the new company.
Waiting at a press event is world-traveled but not exactly world-renown reporter Dig Deeper.
Dig: "Miss Fannigan."
Joy: "Heya... wait a minute, don't I know you from somewhere?"
Dig: "I've been told I look like a handsome Liam Gallagher."
Joy: "Hah! No that ain't it..."
Joy stares at him dead in the eyes, perhaps connecting unknown dots within her synapses, but suddenly she's distracted by a food vendor in the distance, and Deeper adorns a pair of glasses to read his notes.
Dig: "Miss Fannigan, with the debut of the CWF coming and your first match with the company, what kind of statement are you trying to make with the outfit today? Perhaps pandering to the colors of Brazil here?"
Joy: "Oh, a statement, right... Well, my statement is that, it's kinda feckin hot down here!"
Dig: "Hmm. Quite. And what of your hair. Going from blue back to the original color from when you started in pro wrestling. Is that sending a message?"
Joy: "Was it this color then?! Wow I don't even remember. How do you know that stuff?"
Dig: "It's my job to know that stuff."
Joy: "Neat!"
Dig: "Moving on. Joy, are you prepared for your match against Tarrasque."
Joy: "Uhh yep. Wait, what's his name?"
Dig: "Tarrasque."
Joy: "Oh jeez, is that how you say that!? I thought it was Terror Sky! Like some kind of... Terror from the sky? Since he's a flying dinosaur!"
Dig: "Dinosaur?"
Joy: "Yeah, I was told there's a big nasty dinosaur I gotta fight."
Dig: "I think you're a bit mixed up."
Joy: "You can say that again! They don't even give ya the full swimsuit when you buy one here, this teeny thing is headin' up main street!"
Dig: "Miss Fannigan, I believe I should warn you... I've known of Tarrasque for decades. I've seen him maim competitors twice your size like it was nothing, and he enjoyed every second of it. He's worse than any creature you can imagine. You sure you're ready to fight him?"
Joy: "Well... Let me ask you one question then."
Dig: "Yes?"
Joy: "What color was Turd Ask's hair when HE started?"
Dig: "Well I... I don't know."
Joy: "Didn't matter, did it? So it doesn't matter how big the Turr Asky is, I can take care of myself just fine! I'll kick the beastie's head off! But first..."
She gets distracted by the food again, and Joy wanders toward it. As she nears, a cat-caller whistles at the sight of her mostly exposed behind, and stands in her way for a chat. Joy promptly throws a kick into his midsection for daring to impede a meal. She happily purchases a taco plate and gives a knee strike to the man's face as she passes him again.
Dig: "One can hope she'll be okay..."
Cut.
"Hey, Mam!"
Joy listens to the coddling of her mother for a few seconds.
"Oh I'm doing fine. In fact I just had a match! And I won!"
More chiding continues to intercept most of Joy's words.
"Well no, it won't be on the telly... No, it's not for Disney. They're still working on Inside Out 2, I'm sure of it!"
Joy pulls at her blue hair anxiously. It's been years since Pixar asked her to appear as the anthropomorphic cartoon emotion for mall openings and the like.
"Well I don't care if Kayleigh's husband was on the local news... That stupid hog farm smells... No I don't care if he has a tall brother."
Finally her mom says something insulting that incenses Joy.
"Stop it. America isn't killing my Irish, and my silly little fighting career is going just fine! You'll see. I love you, but feckin goodbye!"
She throws the phone down, with an angry spark in her eyes that's only quelled by the right arm that embraces her around the shoulder. Her boyfriend, a young fresh-faced man named Iro Waters, sets his motorcycle helmet onto the tarps under their feet, and tries to console her.
"You okay?"
"Aye, I guess..."
"You know, when I was kid, my parents used to run tests on laboratory pigs for a study. So my backyard was kind of hog farm, too. Maybe your mom would approve."
"Oh shut up you."
She slaps his leg and the two chuckle with each other. A curtain pushes in, and appearing before them is Fireside Wrestling's giant Edward Zepp. Ed and Iro nod at each other, the two being familiar in their past.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Heyyyyyyyy!" Joy points to both of them exuberantly. "Sorry, just trying to fit in with the macho silent guys..."
"Right. Thanks for coming, but you don't really belong here."
"Wha?!" Joy nearly swallows her tongue.
"Hey big man, with what we've been through, you and Isaiah owed me a favor."
Iro stands up, only half a foot shorter than the giant. Edward rubs his chin at the backlash.
"Not what I meant. I mean you shouldn't be be slumming it at my brother's publicity stunt. She's an actual talent. We can't really pay you..."
"Oh that's fine, the catering was awesome!"
Joy pats her stomach. Zepp and Waters are equally confused.
"Catering?"
"Yeah! The icecream truck out there had a pile of hotdogs!"
"Don't eat anything from the clown..."
"Tooooo late."
"Anyway. Eye is usually the one who knows a guy to lend a helping hand. But he's having this midlife crisis... It's not much, but there's a new group I heard about."
Ed hands Joy a flier for the CWF, and her eyes light up.
"Oh wow! So you know a guy there?"
"Kind of."
"You kind of know him??"
"He's kind of a guy. More of a dinosaur."
"Just what are you trying to sell us?" Waters skims the paperwork, skeptical. "Wait this says Brazil!"
"I looked into it, they're legit. It's only a suggestion. Wish I could offer more. Thank you for helping with my brother's weird idea."
Edward takes his leave as suddenly as he entered. Joy fiddles with the paper and bites at her nails as Iro shakes his head.
"I thought he was the normal Zepp, back when he didn't talk. Heh... Brazil."
"Hah! Yeah! I mean, how would I even get to Brazil!? Where even IS Brazil!? Is that where they make all the wax?! Like how long would it take to drive there..."
"Joy that'd be at least a fifteen hour flight. You're not really considering it..."
"Well what else is there? I gotta do somethin'! It's either this or I'll have to go back home and move to Ferguson's feckin' piggy farm."
Her boyfriend gives a look of consternation, but he pats her on the head.
"Would I be invited to the farm?"
"Nope! It's across the ocean, your scooter won't make it!"
"I guess we can't have that then. C'mon, we'll call this CWF and see what the deal is. Let's get out of here before something else weird happens."
Something else weird happens. A haggard clown stumbles into the makeshift back room.
"Hiya there folks, any of yous see a bunch of red skinny balloons anywhere?"
Iro grabs his motorcycle helmet and hurries Joy out of the tent as she rubs at her tummy.
"Afraid not."
- - - - - - - - -
After much deliberation (by Iro), vetting (also Iro), and preparation (Iro), Joy was set for her flight to join the Conquest Wrestling Federation. For her part, Joy did jump back into her gym routine, and re-dyed her hair to a more normal bleached blonde. She was going to make the most of this opportunity to reinvent herself. However, as she touches down, she regrets not listening to Waters about the weather. She assumed flying so far south would put her in the Antarctic, so the poor girl wore her winter gear. The sweltering humidity eats her up. The closest shops she can find are all selling skimpy bikinis, so she shrugs and purchases a bright yellow number before her first appearance for the new company.
Waiting at a press event is world-traveled but not exactly world-renown reporter Dig Deeper.
Dig: "Miss Fannigan."
Joy: "Heya... wait a minute, don't I know you from somewhere?"
Dig: "I've been told I look like a handsome Liam Gallagher."
Joy: "Hah! No that ain't it..."
Joy stares at him dead in the eyes, perhaps connecting unknown dots within her synapses, but suddenly she's distracted by a food vendor in the distance, and Deeper adorns a pair of glasses to read his notes.
Dig: "Miss Fannigan, with the debut of the CWF coming and your first match with the company, what kind of statement are you trying to make with the outfit today? Perhaps pandering to the colors of Brazil here?"
Joy: "Oh, a statement, right... Well, my statement is that, it's kinda feckin hot down here!"
Dig: "Hmm. Quite. And what of your hair. Going from blue back to the original color from when you started in pro wrestling. Is that sending a message?"
Joy: "Was it this color then?! Wow I don't even remember. How do you know that stuff?"
Dig: "It's my job to know that stuff."
Joy: "Neat!"
Dig: "Moving on. Joy, are you prepared for your match against Tarrasque."
Joy: "Uhh yep. Wait, what's his name?"
Dig: "Tarrasque."
Joy: "Oh jeez, is that how you say that!? I thought it was Terror Sky! Like some kind of... Terror from the sky? Since he's a flying dinosaur!"
Dig: "Dinosaur?"
Joy: "Yeah, I was told there's a big nasty dinosaur I gotta fight."
Dig: "I think you're a bit mixed up."
Joy: "You can say that again! They don't even give ya the full swimsuit when you buy one here, this teeny thing is headin' up main street!"
Dig: "Miss Fannigan, I believe I should warn you... I've known of Tarrasque for decades. I've seen him maim competitors twice your size like it was nothing, and he enjoyed every second of it. He's worse than any creature you can imagine. You sure you're ready to fight him?"
Joy: "Well... Let me ask you one question then."
Dig: "Yes?"
Joy: "What color was Turd Ask's hair when HE started?"
Dig: "Well I... I don't know."
Joy: "Didn't matter, did it? So it doesn't matter how big the Turr Asky is, I can take care of myself just fine! I'll kick the beastie's head off! But first..."
She gets distracted by the food again, and Joy wanders toward it. As she nears, a cat-caller whistles at the sight of her mostly exposed behind, and stands in her way for a chat. Joy promptly throws a kick into his midsection for daring to impede a meal. She happily purchases a taco plate and gives a knee strike to the man's face as she passes him again.
Dig: "One can hope she'll be okay..."
Cut.